Chapter Text
Sori was spread out on her bed, reading one of her favourite books. Unfortunately, she was having quite a hard time focusing only on the book, not feeling in the right mood to really follow the plot, but there wasn’t much else she could do since it was raining and the guys went grocery shopping. They’d left her home alone since she wasn’t feeling too good in the morning.
Would have they stayed home if it was one the born-were ones who was unwell?
She kept asking herself the same questions over and over again. Well, it was hardly possible for that scenario to happen, since born-weres never fell ill, but still...
She sighed thinking about that, but then again she knew she liked being alone and having time for herself. Actually, Sori often needed some alone time, which is something quite hard to have in a pack, especially in one with touchy and loud people like hers. Although she knew that she sighed again. From time to time she liked to pity herself a bit. Life hadn't been easy so far, and she didn't have the right personality to fit in the cheerful mess that was her pack. Having grown up mostly on her own, Sori had never learnt how to interact with people, especially with people of her age, and that set of lacking skills weighted her down.
She knew being negative and thinking the worst things wasn't going to raise her spirits not help her self-esteem, yet here she was again, poisoning herself with worthless thoughts.
Sori had always felt a bit left out and alone in their pack being the only turned-werewolf in it. Not that they necessarily mistreated her, but turned-weres were seen in a quite negative way from born-weres. It was an old prejudice, but it still seemed to stuck on many people. Although the were considered to be the lesser form, turned-weres were not that different from born-weres. Sure, they were smaller and slightly weaker, even closer to human beings since they could fall ill and healed slowly, but the rest was exactly the same: they had very fine senses, could run for hours without stopping and change just as fast as them. Did this really mean she wasn't as important as the others? What for? It wasn't like in the past. They didn't need to survive merely on their preys, not did they need to works strictly solely for the pack. Almost every wolf had a job, and they also occupied a role in the pack. That was it.
Nonetheless, the guys had always been nice to her since she officially joined the pack, however there were still moments in which they joked about people like her right in front of Sori, and even thought they meant no offence, it still hurt her a bit. Sori always hid it, she knew she was taking it too personal for no reason, but deep inside her mind those jokes left small, painful scars. She’d also noticed that they weren’t as touchy with her as they were with each other and sometimes it happened that they forgot to include her in their plans. Not that it happened often, actually, not anymore, yet she had cried herself to sleep more than once because of it.
Sori knew she should just be grateful she was accepted in the pack so quickly instead of being left to fend for herself in a world she barely knew, probably left to die in a couple of weeks, like it often happened to lone wolves, the rogues. Actually she would have had a horrible life if they didn’t accept her in the pack, because women in werewolf society couldn’t be lone wolves unless they wanted to be used as sex slaves or slaves in general. It was even worse with turned-weres such as herself, and while society was changing for the better, the improvement was too slow for her to feel safe on her own. She was very thankful to them, really, but nonetheless she felt lonely at times.
Despite having been a member of the pack for over three years, Sori almost never felt completely part of it. She knew she was mopping because Minyoung was accepted way faster and was already a real part of the pack in spite of only having arrived a month ago. No one had doubts about letting her in the pack. Just for being a born-werewolf she was trusted in a way Sori had never felt before. Sori felt a pang in her heart thinking about Minyoung, no matter how much she told herself it was useless to be jealous of her, for they’d never be on the same level.
Maybe what hurt her the most was how easily she caught Jungkook’s heart and attention. Jungkook was the youngest guy in the pack, but he was tall and strong, probably he’d make a good alpha if he ever decided to leave the pack, although it seemed very unlikely to Sori since she knew how much he loved the rest of the guys. He acted childish at times, but he could be mature if needed. Once Jungkook got close with someone he turned into a bubbly and annoying kid despite the quantity of muscles he had. Just not with her. Sori had never had his full attention for herself. Not even when they getting it on in her room: he’d just cum and leave her hanging. She was just an object for him, but that was more than enough for her. And yes, maybe she had been crushing on him for too long and it was high time she just gave up on him and moved on.
Sori had tried not to care for him, she had tried ignoring him and chatting up other guys, but he never left her head and her heart. Probably it was because of the huge amount of books she read, but Sori had reached the conclusion that Jungkook was her soulmate, her one and only true love for life, albeit he didn't feel them same. Unfortunately, her love was one of those sad and painful loves, those in which one party was dying to give love to one person while the other person was clueless, or careless, and kept hurting the one in love. And it sucked. So freaking much.
It often happened that when all the other guys were sleeping, Jungkook would step in her room and stay to sleep for the night. Those were nights Sori cherished and hoped to never forget, because when they were talking alone like that, lost in their little bubble, she could call him Kookie, just like the others, and he cuddle with her, joking and just let his mask fall. It was very special to her, because in front of the others he preferred to keep his distance, and clearly disliked Sori using any pet name unless he was in her room. Thus, yes, for Sori then nights they spent together made her feel special.
When Jungkook was in her room, right before going to sleep, he’d tell her about the things that caught his attention during that day or that week. Sometimes it was a guy with whom he wanted to be friends with, sometimes it was a song he loved or a singer, some other times it was girls he wanted to date or take home if he could. It always hurt, but she was so good at hiding it that he never suspected anything. Or at least that’s what she hoped for.
However, in the last weeks Jungkook had only spent time in her room to talk about Minyoung: how beautiful she was, funny, sexy, elegant, thin, playful, fast, and whatever else he appreciated about her. Sori could have written with all of the things Jungkook was fascinated by in Minyoung, yet she knew couldn’t complain nor compare herself to Minyoung.
Sori was quite plain in her looks, nothing that screamed “hey, look at me, ain’t I gorgeous?”. When she wore make up she was a little more than just plain, still she couldn't compare herself to Minyoung or Narae, which was the alpha’s mate and her best friend. She was too shy to joke around like them or to be as expansive and touchy. Sori was a bit chubby, not “fat” like Jungkook often called her, just not as thin as the other two girls. She liked reading a lot. She also liked cooking and going for walks on her own, because when she was alone she could relax and think about her past, how her life could have been had she never been turned, had she never gone out that night, had she still had her parents... She could think freely without having to worry about saying something stupid or embarrassing in front of the others, which would make them laugh at her.
Actually it was mostly Jungkook who embarrassed her whenever she didn’t know something about their world or simply made a mistake, but the others never stopped him. And although Jimin and Taehyung never let her go to sleep before having apologized for laughing at her, it hurt her pride, but she’d never get really mad at them, because she had to be thankful to the pack for accepting her. It just made it hard to even just ask for help.
Seokjin, Namjoon and Yoongi always glared at Jungkook when he joked about her, but only one who effectively defended her was Narae. It’d been like that ever since she asked to join the pack. For some reason she had taken Sori under her wings and so far Narae was her only true friend, or at least she was the one she considered her best friend. Hoseok and Minyoung at times smiled at his jokes, but then made sure to clear the air. She really couldn’t say much against their newest member, because Minyoung was really as nice as Jungkook described her.
Sori hated how childish and butthurt she was acting, yet she couldn’t help it. It was just sad to think she had known them for way longer, she knew everyone’s secrets their, the pack sought comfort in her bed and tried to get her to cuddle them when they were sick, yet she’d never be on the same level as their newest member.
Everyone liked her, just like they loved Narae. Narae was the mother and the sister of everyone in the pack, she’s their female alpha, someone they could trust no matter what, for they knew she'd always have their back. She was also a born-werewolf. Narae was the reason why Namjoon allowed Sori to stay in the pack in the first place. It took them so long to let her in that she had almost lost her hoped and was starting to guess when she would be kicked out of the pack. To this day, it still was one of her biggest worries, thus she always tried to be on her best behaviour. Sori couldn't even phantom falling so easily in line with such a big group of people the way Minyoung did. It had even happened before that some other pack made fun of BTS for having her as a member of the pack, yet Sori could only feel ashamed but not correct her ways. Actually, she couldn't pinpoint just what it was that made her such an easy target.
BTS pack was one of the strongest, oldest and most famous packs, and even though the rarely got involved with other packs, they had lots of allies. Sori felt so sorry to them for being the reason why people made fun of them, and that made easy for her to follow Jungkook's instructions to hide in her room when someone important came here to meet Namjoon. Namjoon eventually found out and forbid her to do so, and Sori could remember the alpha telling her right in front of Jungkook that whoever looked down on them because they had a turned-werewolf in the pack didn’t deserve to be their friend, let alone their guest. Narae and Jin supported his statement, and that was one of Sori's fondest memories, albeit she still wanted to keep hiding in her room when there were guests. At times she wondered if their were to leave these lands and go live in a bigger city later on, what it would feel like for her to meet more turned-weres.
Jungkook was right though, people like her should do all they can to avoid bringing shame on the leader and the pack that gave them a house. Sometimes she felt like crying, because she really wanted to be like everyone else, it wasn't like she had chosen to live this way nor had she had the chance to even refuse being turned, so why did she have to pay such a big price for something she had no responsibility over? Being different it’s not a bad thing, they said, but she always argued that it was extremely tiring nonetheless. Sure, there were many packs with turned-weres in Seoul, but in their town, or better there and in the lands around them, Sori had never seen another pack with a turned-werewolf. Mostly these packs were formed by old wolfs,while in the city it could be easier for her to just accidentally meet a younger pack, more open-minded who actually allowed turned-weres to live with them without it being an hindrance.
Lately the guys had taken up the habit of standing close to her and keeping an eye on her when they had guests over, just close enough to force her to attend their meetings, and the few times Sori managed to hide away anyway at night, without saying anything, the guys would go to sleep in her room. This usually happened with the older members of the pack and Narae, but it was more scarce with the youngers, except Jungkook.
Although, Jungkook was really a good guy, he was born and raised in a pack, or better in a society, that saw turned-werewolves as nothing more than scum, low-life trying to get into the power circles of superior beings, and at this point Sori was almost certain he would never be able to change him mind. From time to time she found herself thinking she could put up with his weird views about people like her if only he didn't voice them in front of the rest of the pack or in front of strangers. Or maybe it was because everyone spoiled him and he liked being the centre of everyone’s attention, probably because he was totally used to it thanks to his family and the pack, and he knew for sure they’d pay attention to him if he said certain things.
Sori couldn’t really bring herself to ignore him and his comments about her and people like her. As much as she said she wasn’t bothered and she didn’t care, it still hurt her. She couldn’t justify him completely, because although he was older than her (and werewolves live for way longer that humans) and she knew people’s mind couldn’t change from night to day, the other guys were even older than him and nobody treated that way. Maybe they didn’t always behave like she was one of them, but he was absolutely the worse. Or maybe the others pitied her because they knew about her feelings for Jungkook.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to focus on the book now, Sori went downstairs and wrote a note for the guys, so they wouldn’t worry if they came back home to an empty house. Despite feeling tired and nauseous in the morning, Sori changed to her wolf form and started running at her full speed. She loved to feel her paws scratching the ground, leaving paw prints behind her, following scents and running until she couldn’t breathe anymore.
In the beginning, it took her a while to get used to this and accept the fact that hating the wolf was useless, going back to being a normal human was impossible. When she finally accepted the way her life had drastically changer forever, Sori also started loving the wolf. Her wolf. It was amazing how different things were when she was human and when she was a wolf.
Mostly her feelings were the same in her two forms, but at times it happened that her wolf didn’t agree with some of her decisions and then she could feel the contrasting opinions crashing in her mind, and if they didn’t reach a compromise soon, she’d get a migraine. At times her wolf's emotions were easier to deal with, not always pleasant, but it was easier to just give in to her instincts rather the let brain point out all the negative things she noticed day by day-
To be completely honest, Sori loved her wolf form the most as of lately. No one cares about your body when your completely covered in fur, no one asks questions you don’t have answers to, and no one expects you to answer. She felt like she was free in this form...or something quite close to it.
She ran, light on her paws, until she reached the town, then Sori made her way back home going through the borders of the pack lands lands she hadn’t passed before. It took her a while, the sun was slowly going down as she passed tree after tree. By the time she got home the rest of the pack had arrived, so she opted to pressing the bell with her nose and waiting for someone to open the door instead of changing back. It was Jin who opened the door, and fortunately he decided to skip the interrogatory and stepped aside to let Sori in. Sori briefly nosed his knew before she went back to her room. While she was locking the door, Sori also caught a sight of Jungkook lying shirtless on his bed, as his room was right in front of hers. She locked the door before she got caught staring and finally changed back to her human form. She did a little bit of stretching to relax herself before she went to take a shower. It wasn't like she didn't know someone was about to step in her room to question her about her little runaway, thus she knew she had to be quick with the shower.
Just as she had anticipated, as she was drying her hair with a towel someone knocked on the door before opening it, not even bothering with waiting for an answer. Sori always made sure to dress up quickly after she took a shower because she knew her pack couldn't care less for privacy. For wolves going around naked wasn't a big deal and they grew up without seeing anything wrong with being naked around strangers, but for Sori it was a completely different story. Sure, she knew they had all grown up changing into wolves whenever they wanted from a very young age and no type of clothes could survive the changing, so to avoid ruining too many pieces of clothing people simply opted to stay naked, but for her who had been raised as a very boring, normal human it was uncomfortable. In the past years it had rubbed on her too, or better, she had learnt to be lass ashamed around her pack, but that didn't mean she didn't want some privacy.
“Sori, Jin hyung wants to know what you want to eat. He said today we're eating whatever you want, so please say you want fries”, Jimin said with a cheeky smile. Jimin could have been cuter had he not been annoying.
“Why?”, Sory asked a bit perplexed.
“Because you were sick this morning, so he obviously wants to make sure you eat something”, Jimin replied frowning, sounding very much like an unspoken “duh”. “But me, Tae and Kookie really want to eat fries, so can you want them too? At least say you don't want to eat spinach, I'm begging you”
“Oh”, she said sounding a bit stupid. At times like this Sori felt like she was really part of the pack. “Okay? Uhm... I don't really feel like eating fries, so maybe you can tell him I want an hamburger? Is that fine with you?”. God, her social skills still sucked after all these years.
“Uhm, fine, I'll tell him you want hamburgers and fries”. Satisfied with the outcome of his little mission, Jimin finally left after having winked at her with both his eyes. He still hadn't learnt how to do it properly, but he liked to try doing it when he felt no one would make fun of him.