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Chapter Text

It was dark... and silent. Much too quiet.
The evening had been successful, as always, they had delivered a brute and hot show. The after show party was fun, he had drunk quite a bit this time, much more than usual. As always, there was a lot of laughter... and of course he was in the middle of it, telling stories from the band's life, cracking jokes that were as old as Methuselah, but someone was always happy about it... he was also the clown within the band. So something like that was required.... Or at least one assumed that he was always in a good mood....

But: That was not the case! He was just not in a good mood at all, he was shocked to say the least and quite sad... because he didn't know how to deal with his current situation.

Everything had changed... everything. And none of his friends and colleagues had the slightest idea... but no, that wasn't quite true. Till - he was the only one who knew about it. Even his children probably knew nothing about it. Or did they?

His marriage had gone down the drain over the years and no one had noticed, him least of all. Until she was just gone. He had believed there was someone else, but he didn't know for sure.
In their marriage HE had always been faithful, he had nothing to reproach himself for, at least in this matter, but what about her?
Was there someone else? Would he ever know?
That alone should have made him wonder and angry, precisely because she was keeping such a low profile. But none of that had happened.

She had packed her things, where he was already on his way with the boys, and just left. Without a word, no goodbye note, no phone call, no message - nothing. She was simply gone. Without a trace, secretly and with ice-cold calculation. At least that's how he felt about it.

And the worst thing was, he had only found out about it because her housekeeper in Berlin had called him a few days ago to ask if his wife had gone with him this time, because all her things were no longer there.

He had become suspicious, had talked for a long time with Till and the people from the booking agency that they should postpone two dates so that he could travel to Berlin at short notice and see what had really happened.
It had worked out, barely, but still.

He had rented a car and raced like a maniac along the autobahn. The fact that he hadn't caused an accident bordered on a miracle. The police would probably be pleased, he would not even have noticed if there had been a speed camera somewhere.

And then he stood in his apartment, which welcomed him coldly and impersonally. Everything that belonged to her was gone, all the clothes, every book, every CD, her perfume, her beloved decorative things, the pictures they shared, everything. He tried to call her for hours, no chance. Only voicemail, no message and of course no call back.
He felt like someone had reached deep inside him and ripped out all the happiness that was ever in it. He got down on his knees and cried helplessly - on the cold parquet floor of their cozy living room. It would never be her living room again, it was just a cold, impersonal space....

And now? He was here again... He had returned the car in Berlin and Till had picked him up after he had asked him to come. He would not have survived another crazy ride like that, he was sure of it.
Till's calm and level-headed manner were like a balm for him. He had picked him up in silence, and they had set off at a leisurely pace. It wasn't far to Hamburg, but he wouldn't have made it there in his current condition without having an accident - he was too upset for that.

All this was incredibly sad and dragged him into a deeper and deeper depression. And he didn't know how to cope.
And what he hated most of all was that he had just begun to somehow understand why it had come to this.
Her warmth, her kind, her laughter had always been a part of his life, at least for the last 20 years. Perhaps he had taken that fact too much for granted and just continued as he had the time before.
Had he been too selfish with his job, all this traveling around, the gigs, the constant temptations in all directions?

Unnoticed, his love for her had died. He realized that only the moment he stepped into the cold apartment. He felt as if he were dead. It was probably the loneliness or the changed situation that he couldn't cope with... He was afraid. Afraid of what was going to happen next. If he could change something, he would do it immediately, but since he didn't know why she had left, his thoughts kept going in circles with always the same result - he was alone and he had no clue why.
And now? What should he do? Most importantly, what was to happen next?

He had to tell someone, he couldn't figure out something this big on his own. He had never been the type to keep his joys and sorrows to himself. He was an extrovert in all respects. But please, to whom should he tell such things?

Flake, Olli and Schneider had families of their own to take care of. And Richard dropped out, because Mr. Kruspe's lifestyle had never been the one he himself would have preferred. Well, in earlier years he had also taken the one or other girl to the hotel room, but he had never been as excessive as Richard.
He was much too emotional for that and fell in love quickly. He just couldn't do it, just drop a girl after sex and never get back in touch.
That Richard seemed to be fine with it, he understood even less, because actually Richard was emotional too, very much so. How he handled his little daughter alone and was still good friends with her mother. Margaux also played in his second band Emigrate, which was really admirable, he for his part would never have been able to do something like that. The old feelings would have come up again and again and he would have suffered like a dog. But that's just how everyone was different.

The only one who understood him to some extent was Till, although he himself had to struggle with his life and love situation. He hadn't asked anything on the way back to the venue, but he didn't want to fill him up with his worries either.
"You don't have to tell me anything, I understand you by sight...", this line of lyrics from "Let's go" by Richard's band Emigrate, which he had recorded with Till, came back to him.
How excited Richard had been to ask Till for a duet. But Till had remained cool and had agreed immediately, always with the condition that Richard would not completely put his Rammstein existence on ice. Which would never have occurred to Richard. He loved the band far too much for that. And of course everything that was about it - especially the female fans who were at his feet, night after night.

Yes, Till was like that, he understood someone without big words. So also this time. He began haltingly to tell until the end. Till listened patiently.
"Hm, Paul. What can I say? It's all a big shit. I've always thought that with you, it sort of runs itself. But apparently not at all."
He nodded, realizing he was getting misty-eyed again. Since when was he such a crybaby, please?
"I don't know what's going on," Paul sniffled. "She just left without doing anything. I really don't know what to do next, you know?"
Till just nodded.
"Women." he then said contemptuously, but unfortunately he was also right.
They were glad when they finally arrived. Till told a crew member to park the rental car in the underground garage of the hotel. He put his arm around Paul's shoulders and together they walked toward the hotel lobby.
"Well, gentlemen, another nightcap?" the lady behind the bar asked.
"Sure. Tequila would be good. My buddy needs it more than I do today," came from Till.

Paul didn't know when and especially how he had gotten to his hotel room, but the morning after was shitty, he had a beastly headache and felt empty... without drive and desire for just anything. And he was nauseous. He barely made it to the bathroom....

Chapter Text

And now he continued to sit brooding in the darkness, realizing that something had to happen. And it had to happen today - in the middle of the night. Now he got out of the shower and had washed away most of all the makeup and sweat of the last few hours. But he still didn't feel any better.
He slowly went into the bathroom again and washed his face, where some tears had flowed.

He would never have thought in his life that something like this could happen to him. He had always assumed that everything would run its usual course. Without ifs and buts. Well, wrongly thought, completely wrongly...

He felt empty, burnt out and actually dead tired. But he just didn't WANT to go to bed, too many thoughts and worries were jumping around in his head. Tomorrow they would have a day off and the next concert was only a week away. In between interview appointments and photo sessions.

He would have loved to pack all his clothes and travel to his cottage on Hiddensee. There would be peace and quiet, permanently. But there, too, his thoughts would have gone on a merry-go-round, there, too, he would have cried and blamed himself the most, what the hell he had done wrong. But had he done anything wrong at all? Was it his fault that his wife had just left without saying a word about it?

He quickly grabbed his room card, his cell phone, his jacket including scarf, and put on his cap. Then he walked as quietly as possible down the long corridor in the hotel to the elevator.

Hopefully he wouldn't run into any of his colleagues, not even the ones from the crew. They'd probably never seen him like this before. So sad, dejected and with tears in his eyes. The elevator was a long time coming, so he decided to take the stairs.

Outside the hotel he took a deep breath, the air smelled of rain and the wind had picked up noticeably. Shivering, he pulled his jacket tighter around him, still wrapping his scarf around his neck. He walked along the street, where he didn't really meet anyone, clearly, it was around 1:30 in the morning. And that was in the middle of the week. Most people were sleeping peacefully.

At the end of the next street he saw a small pub. The light fell on the sidewalk, and he decided to have another nightcap. Couldn't hurt.
He entered the little place and sat down at the counter. He ordered a beer from the bartender and looked around. It was one of those little pubs that were quaintly cozy and made you feel at home right away. Gloomily he looked into his glass and drank the first sip.

"Well, it's not your night, is it?" the bartender addressed him.
"No, not really. I'm not feeling too well today," he replied.
„Oh, a Berliner, I'm going crazy. I'm from there, too," came a grin from the man behind the counter.
"Really? And then you ended up in Hamburg? Quite a difference here with the North Germans, isn't it?" he said.
"Yes, that's right, but love, that's what brought me here. What else, huh?" he grinned. "By the way, I'm Kalle, so you can say you.", the man introduced himself.
"Paul," he replied curtly.
The good-natured bartender smiled and put a caraway schnapps in front of him without being asked.
"Here, drink, my good boy. You shouldn't live like a dog," he grinned again.
Paul tried to smile and downed the liquor. He grimaced.
"Yeah, well, that's different."
He coughed. Kalle grinned and put the next glass of beer in front of him without being asked.

Kalle was now serving other guests and then he approached him again and looked at him questioningly.
"So, what is it now? Lovesickness?" he asked curiously.

Paul looked at him and suddenly realized that he was slowly losing his footing, because he really didn't know how to deal with the whole situation.
"Hm, probably it is. Feels strange, I feel so empty somehow."
That was all he wanted to tell the man.

"Kalle, can you take a quick look down here, if that's okay?" came a female voice from underground.
When Kalle didn't answer, the woman came up the stairs and checked on Kalle. She turned to Paul, her face reddened a bit and she smiled finely. Whoa! Paul immediately felt it literally "zoom" and a shiver ran down his spine.

He smiled wryly back and felt a tingle deep inside him. No, that wasn't true now. He had the biggest heartbreak on earth, his great love had left him and what did he do? He behaved like a teenager who was just checking out the next chick. Did he actually still have his wits about him?

He scolded himself for being a fool, took his beer and sat down in a corner to indulge his thoughts and pour out his own pity.
In his position, how could he even think of ever even talking to a female again, let alone doing other things? He was an old fart, would be 57 this year and this lady there was at most, but at the very most, around 40. She was just nice, so all no problem. He had his children, his job, which he loved more than anything, his friends and colleagues. That was enough... Was that enough?
He told himself that he would somehow come to terms with the fact that he was now ... yes, what? Was single. How did that sound? He didn't even know anymore how it felt to be completely alone, without anyone to share his bed, eat with him, watch TV or whatever.
Well, on tour he was alone in his hotel room too, but that was different. He knew that when he got home, he wouldn't be alone.

He continued to brood. Richard probably had to feel that way. Maybe all this fooling around of his was just him looking for some attention and fighting loneliness, even if it was mostly for one night or a few hours. Yes, I'm sure it was. He didn't really come out with it, always just talked about his demons that he was constantly fighting. Also kind of sad that one of his best buddies was actually totally lonely and this constant search for sex was a substitute satisfaction.

It used to be drugs, which he was thankfully off of. Man, that had been a really shitty time. How many times had he tried to help him, but alas, Richard had to first admit to himself that he was an addict. And how long it had taken before he was even willing to go to a clinic to get help.

At that time Richard was on the verge of throwing it all away, the band, his life, at that time his wife, everything. Only his love for his children had given him the strength to carry on and finally realize that, if anything, music was his only drug. And, of course, sex. Was Richard actually a sex addict? Hm, something like that existed. He hadn't really thought about that either. But that was Richard's problem, not his - he had a much bigger one at the moment.

He concentrated again on the here and now. And tried to look as dismissive as possible, thought he looked stern, (he had to prove that often enough at photo sessions, although he would much rather have laughed in all the pictures), so that no one would talk to him again. And not even this nice woman? Man, what a load of crap everything.

Gloomily he looked into his glass of beer... And of course he didn't succeed at all with the evil looking. Maybe HE was the problem. Because why else would his wife have slipped away so quietly?

Chapter Text

"Hey you. Can I sit with you?" suddenly came from above.
Paul looked up, and there she was, standing full life-size in front of him.
He swallowed hard and the blush came back to his face. She had dark curly hair cut in a modern longbob, at least that's what he thought the hairstyle was called, and had a dazzling smile on her face.
The blue eyes stood out even more with the black makeup around them. Kind of reminded him of Richard, who himself usually walked around with kohl around his eyes, no matter what the occasion.
He had to smile.
Even in the dim light of the pub, her eyes looked like little stars twinkling in the night sky.
Damn, he thought to himself, please not now - not in his condition. Romance was exactly his thing, but really not appropriate right now.
He cleared his throat and nodded at her.

If she had now recognized him for what he was and is - the guy from THE provocative band from Berlin - the rhythm guitarist from Rammstein? And there it came already, clear.
"You're a guitarist for Rammstein, aren't you?" she said slowly, taking a seat next to him. She thought about it. Smack, of course!
"Oh, yeah, that's who I am. I’m Paul.", he grinned at her. What else could he have said now, denial was no longer an option? And was also not necessary. Because he really didn't have to be ashamed. Sure, they didn't only have fans, but apparently she didn't seem to have a problem with them as a band and with him as a person.
She smiled back.

She had a dark and ingratiating voice. And her light perfume wafted over to him. Damn! He jumped at just that kind of thing. Not this brute behavior of some groupies, who also pulled everything out of the clothes and make-up box, which was possible. But that wasn't his thing at all. No, exactly the opposite was the case. This intimate and beautiful getting to know another person, without big frills.

But this in the middle of the night, in a strange city, all alone instead of with his boys like most of the time?

What was she supposed to think of him? There he was, hanging out in some little neighborhood bar, instead of being at some hip aftershow party with his peers and spending the night with some wannabe models.
That's probably how most people thought of them, but Paul wasn't like that. It's just that no one knew that, except his colleagues and friends. He was anything but - he was a loyal soul, only it hadn't seemed to pay off over the years.

She had left him anyway - she, his Arielle. He swallowed again and suddenly realized that he had to pull himself together so that he could deal with it to some extent.

He cleared his throat again, swallowed, and fought down the rising tears bravely.
"And what are you doing here all by yourself? Did you have a gig here?" she asked flatly. "And where are your colleagues?" Another question.
Curious, she was, but that wasn't really a problem.

"No idea where the others are. Yes, we had a gig at ... what was the name ... Volksparkstadion?", Paul answered truthfully.
She smiled knowingly.
"And you thought, I can also briefly stop by on the „Kiez“ and see what's going on there? Like a rock star, see what's going on with the ladies here and maybe pick one up?" she asked with amusement, chuckling to herself.
The question wasn't meant seriously at all, but Paul still got it wrong.

"No..." he replied sullenly, peering despairingly into his beer glass.
Sure, why would she be interested in him as a person, too? Most female fans were only interested in the fame and everything that came with it. But he didn't really rate her that way.

There was no point, he couldn't. She was really cute, no question, but he so didn't have a head for it at the moment, and certainly not for very much else. Not even for one night, he just couldn't, as I said. He was just Paul, cerebral, thoughtful and not as relaxed as his band mate on lead guitar.

Brusquely he stood up, almost tipped over his chair, mumbled something about an apology, went straight to the counter and paid for his beer. Hastily, he gave Kalle a quick wave and stepped out of the pub onto the cold street.
"Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?" she called after him, but he ran off as if the devil were chasing him.

Great, just great, Mr. Landers, he inwardly scolded himself. Now he had finally had the chance to think about something else, or to see people other than his bandmates and all the crew members, and to talk inconsequentially, and then he acted like an idiot and ran away. And from what, actually? Nothing had happened, after all. He had had a nice chat with two people, nothing more.

He got annoyed with himself and walked quickly back to the hotel.
He sneaked into his room and opened the balcony door, greedily sucked in the cold fresh night air and would have liked to smoke a cigarette now, but didn't have one. Well, what the heck. Besides, he finally had to go to sleep now, otherwise he would be in such a shitty mood tomorrow that really no one would bother with him, not even Till, whom almost nothing could get out of his mind.

He took off his clothes, threw them carelessly over the nearest chair and was just about to go to bed to finally sleep, when there was a quiet knock on his room door.

That couldn't be true! Who, pray tell, wanted something from him at this hour? Were they all crazy? He decided to ignore the knock. But the knocker did not give up. He heard the knocking again, this time more energetically. Okay, no sleep then. Annoyed, Paul flipped back the covers, got up, groped to the door and opened it.
Richard.
Of course, Mr. Kruspe probably wanted to tell him how his nocturnal acquaintance was now in bed, like almost every night, and that he had politely but firmly complemented her from his room. He really had no desire to do that.

But Richard just looked at him startled, gently pushed him aside and just came into his room.

"What are you doing, Scholle? I'm tired and want to crash. You can tell me all about it in the morning, who you picked up again, okay?", he tried to get rid of Richard.

No chance, good Richard ran towards the balcony, lit a fag and waited for Paul to follow him. He did, and Richard had cigarettes, at least he could be counted on. Without asking, he reached into the pack, lit one and inhaled silently. Surprised, Richard looked at him.

"So dude, tell me. What's up with you?", Richard asked him directly.
"What's going on? Nothing is goin‘ on. Why? It's just like always, and now I want to take a nap. So see you tomorrow!", Paul tried to get rid of Richard again.
But Richard didn't let up this time either and looked at him expectantly.
"Damn, really ey, Scholle. You're a real pain in the ass. What do you want to hear?", Paul answered him a little too quickly and a little too pissed off.

"You've been kind of all over the place all evening, but I've known you long enough to know that there's nothing wrong with you at all. You creep out of your room in the middle of the night and back again after a little while. You sneak down the hall and think I won't notice? Dude, I'm in the next room - alone, without any chicks, as you might think! I know, you can't imagine, but that's how it is. Even I need a break," he grinned.

"And besides, what did you think? That I don't care about you? The walls here are light hearted, my dear. I heard you crying earlier. That's not normal, especially with you. You disappear during the tour for two days, you only talk to me the most necessary things since you came back. Paulchen, you're my best friend, so please don't act like that and tell me what the fuck is going on! Maybe I can help you?" Richard's questions shot out at Paul.

What a bummer, first this Kalle, then this - what was the sweetie's name? He hadn't even asked... - and now one of his best friends. Couldn't he be left alone for once, always having to answer questions? Always in a good mood, always laughing. He had had enough.
His marriage was in the ass....
And only Till knew it. And it was nobody else's business... or was it? Yeah, right. He had the best friends in the world. For over 30 years. You couldn't hide anything from them. Nothing at all. They were his second family. But this hammer? Should he really tell what had happened? He had only told Till, not even his children. And how the hell was he supposed to cope with that? He felt guilty, even though he really wasn't. Or was he? What a fucking mess. What the hell had he missed, done wrong, overlooked, or whatever?

He admitted defeat.

"She's gone, Scholle, just like that. Runaway, without a word - that's what's going on," he began meekly, sat down next to Richard and took another cigarette from his pack after he had just put out the last one.
Richard just looked at him. Since when had Paul become a chain smoker?

Silently, the two men sat next to each other, blowing smoke into the air.
"Who took off, Paul? Speak plainly and please, don't let everything come out of your nose!", Richard became a bit more determined.

"Well, my wife, who else?", Paul answered snottily, because it all went so against his grain and he was really dead tired.

"Please whaaaat? Oh, and with it you come only now out with the language? That's ... that's ... really intense.", Richard stuttered and admitted defeat.
"And where were you until just now?" No, Mr. Kruspe was not at all curious.
"In a pub, just around the corner from the hotel," Paul answered truthfully. "I had a nightcap." Paul looked down in embarrassment.
"So what? Please, Paul, it's getting exhausting."
Paul pulled his eyes up and looked at Richard, annoyed.
"What next? Nothing more." Paul tried to look innocent, but since Richard knew him, he knew immediately.
"Huh, so there is. And what's her name?"
"No idea, it doesn't matter. I'm tired, let's take a nap." Paul yawned heartily.
Richard also pushed his cigarette butt into the ashtray, stood up and straightened.

"Well then. All right, Paul. We'll try to get some sleep now, but tomorrow you'll tell me all about it, in great detail. You know I'm always here for you and I won't let you down. I never have and never will. Understand?" he said resolutely. "And next time you'll tell everything right away! I can't believe you're suffering like a dog and nobody knows it." Richard shook his head in disbelief.

Yes, someone already knew, but he didn't want to tell that here and now.
Sadly, Paul looked at his buddy.
"Can't stay here tonight, Scholle. I feel so damn alone? It would be nice if I at least had someone with me now," Paul answered him quietly.
He felt totally stupid, but the taller man nodded in agreement.
"Sure, no problem. I'll just change and then I'll be right back," he answered, went next door and came back after a short while.

Chapter Text

Richard found a quietly snoring Paul, who had probably fallen asleep as soon as he left the room. No wonder, as exhausted as he was.
He lay down next to him, covered him and himself, and tried to get his thoughts in order as well. How crass. Paul's wife had left him, after almost 20 years. Unbelievable. What on earth had happened?
He sighed softly, hugged Paul to him, stroked his hair lovingly.
He thought about what the fans would think now, when they saw the two of them like this. What did they always say and write so beautifully? Paulchard! That's right. As if he would start something with a man, he was much too much into the female sex for that.

Paul was one of his best friends, but purely platonic, there was nothing sexual. Not even when they kissed on stage during "Ausländer". The little short smooch was just to show people that homosexuality was something normal, and this stage kiss was their interpretation of provocation. Of course this idea came from Till again, who else?
Paul didn't want to participate at first, the coward. He had been so coy. Until Till put his foot down. And when Till put his foot down, that was the law. Period!
Richard had less problems with such things, but Paul was and is simply too cerebral in these matters. He can't take a lot of things as lightly as he does.... He thought briefly of the pretty lady, whom he had last signed on the bosom at the meet-and-greet, had twitched briefly, but since he was no longer 20, the sleep had been more important and of course Paul, whom he felt infinitely sorry for.
Paul woke up because a strange arm ... a man's arm ... was lying on his! Startled, he turned backwards and was relieved that it was "only" Richard. He was totally exhausted, no wonder after the short night. He must have fallen asleep immediately, probably due to all the frustration after asking Richard to stay with him at night.
He felt like he was 10, where he couldn't fall asleep without the light on. Darkness had always scared him somehow. And it was just as well that Richard had stayed.
He had held him tight, because Paul had dreamed confusedly and had woken up one time or the other, drenched in sweat, only to fall asleep again right away and continue to roll tangled dreams from A to B. He had been asleep for a long time. But rested he was not at all, on the contrary, he felt now even more shitty than before.

How the hell was he supposed to cope with the current situation? For years he had been so sure that nothing and no one could separate him and his wife. He was always there for her, and he thought she was there for him, too. Sure, with his job, it had been anything but easy, and temptations of every kind present every day. But she had never asked because she was sure he was faithful. And he was - it would never have occurred to him to cheat on her. He loved her too much for that. Loved...yes, he had...but now? I don't know.

Why did she just leave, why? He was racking his brain again, but it didn't help, he had to get other thoughts. As gently and quietly as he could, he tried to free himself from his best buddy's grasp, to at least get a little clearer in a shower. With an unwilling murmur, he disengaged himself from the hotel bed, tucked Richard back in, and slowly walked into the bathroom.

A quick glance in the mirror and Paul was frightened out of his wits. He looked like a ghost, hollow-cheeked, unshaven and pale. And the rings under his eyes... a panda bear was nothing compared to that. After the concert, he could have taken off his makeup.
How was he going to get through the next days and weeks? He took off his boxers and stepped under the hot jet of the shower. It felt good to just let the water flow over his skin, to keep his eyes closed and just enjoy the moment. After a while he turned off the tap and took one of the big towels. With it around his hips, he went back to the hotel room - Richard was still asleep. Apparently the worry about his buddy had taken a bit out of him, too.

Paul sat down on the balcony and quickly realized that it was freezing cold, despite the bright sunshine. No wonder, it was late October. He went back and grabbed one of the blankets that were neatly stacked on the sofa.

"Hm, what's up?" a sleepy Richard muttered then.
"Shh, nothing. Go back to sleep, I'm just going to the balcony," he replied.
But Richard slowly struggled out of bed, yawned profusely, and then he sat in front of him like a drenched poodle, his hair sticking out in all directions, with slight stubble, and some of his black makeup still hanging under his eyes. Somehow this looked pretty funny. At this sight, probably none of his adored ones would have adored him. He stood up and shuffled out onto the balcony after Paul.

At the same time, the two of them reached for Richard's glow sticks. Maybe they would calm down a bit. Of course not...
"Breakfast would be in order, dear. Just fags on an empty stomach, I'm about to puke," Richard remarked very aptly.

After Paul had ordered breakfast from room service and Richard had wandered off to his room to shower, he sat back down on the balcony.

He hung on to his dull thoughts - and then, boiling hot, he remembered the waitress in the pub last night. The way he had rebuffed her was not really his style. He was rather friendly and not averse to a chat, but yesterday he had simply not been able to form even a clear thought, the whole situation had shocked him too much.
What was she supposed to think of him? Probably what most people thought - Mr. Superstar didn't talk to just anyone, certainly not to a small employee in a pub on Hamburg's Kiez.

No, he wasn't like that. He tried to get along with everyone, always had. He was just like that - a cheerful guy. But this cheerful nature was anything but that right now. He felt alone, abandoned, and all he really wanted to do all the time was cry or shout out his frustration. He was mortified by it all. He had crept away like a thief. He could never show up there again.

He had never felt like this before, not even when Nikki, his first great love, whom he had met on the island of Hiddensee and later married, had left him. At that time he thought the world would stop and he would never again find someone with whom he could feel comfortable.

Let alone that he would make it to two great children. His children... wistfully he thought of them. His "little one" was now 20, too. Unbelievable, how time went by? And that his son was also doing something with music, he thought was really good. He had been so proud when Emil came around the corner with the remix to the song „Radio“. It was all going well - until that shitty moment when he realized that his marriage was on the rocks and the woman he had loved more than anything had simply disappeared from his life - seemingly forever.

In a good mood, Richard strolled back to his room. And no sooner had he closed the door than there was a restrained knock. Room service - at last. Paul couldn't do anything without coffee. Only eat, uhm, somehow not much. Very unusual for him. He nibbled a little on the toast, spooned his yogurt, that was it. He actually had an appetite most of the time and liked to eat a lot. And he had to do just as much exercise, because nothing comes from nothing, as we all know.
Richard was hungry and finally wanted to know everything, the whole sad story. That Paul had told Till, he found only semi-cool, after all HE was Paul's best friend, but good. It remained in the "family".
"Uhm, Paul, what a shit.", came from him contrite. "And now? What are you going to do now?" he asked him.
"No idea. I've never been in such a situation. What would you do?" came Paul's prompt reply.
"Well, it's hard to say. Can't you find out where she's gone? You have the means, don't you? Maybe she has at least contacted your daughter? Why don't you ask there right now?"
He held the cell phone out to him.

Paul wondered whether he could confront his daughter on the phone. After all, he had to assume that she knew nothing about it. Or she was in on it and wouldn't talk anyway. Ah, screw it, he dialed her number and waited for her to answer.
"Hi Dad? What's up? Aren't you out with the boys - and why are you calling so early anyway? It's so not your time." came from her after the second ring.
"Uhm, no....," he cleared his throat uncertainly. "Hey, kiddo, we need to talk to each other, preferably right away and stuff." , Paul pressed around.
"I'd love to, Dad, but I'm at work. Are you at home or where?", the answer from her.
Of course, she did not have the entire tour plan in her head. Had they themselves also not so really. The only one who was good at it was Schneider, but he had also been in the army, where you learn to be tidy with appointments and everything else.
"Me? I'm still in Hamburg, I'm not back in the capital until tomorrow, but only for a short time, we have a lot of appointments. From next week it's back on again."
"Yes, and now? Tomorrow is Friday, I have to work only until noon. When will you be back? Dinner at our shared apartment, maybe? I could cook something," she asked.
"Oh yes, that sounds good. Around 7 p.m. with you, I bring wine, okay?"
"Great. Say, you don't sound good somehow..... Are you sure you want to wait until tomorrow and not tell something?" she ventured once again, worried.
"No, it's fine. See you tomorrow, little one."
He quickly pressed the red button on the cell phone as if it would suddenly bite.

His face was bright red and his heart was pounding up to his neck. Richard looked at him anxiously.
"Uhm, Paul, take it easy. You'll be all right."
He put a hand on his arm.
"You're not alone, we're always with you. Cheer up, kid."

Richard polished off the rest of his roll and grinned a little slyly.
"Say, what about that woman you were telling me about?"
Paul looked at him uncomprehendingly.
"Whom do you mean?"
"Well, the one in the pub where you were tonight?"
That he had to ask about that, too. He was so embarrassed to admit to Richard that he had run away.
"Please don't laugh now, but I ran away."
"What, you ran away? Just like that? Jeez, Paulchen, why on earth? It would have been a nice change. You're really acting like a schoolboy."

Paul looked at Richard with concern. Sure, with Richard it probably wouldn't be a problem, but with him it was different. In this respect, he was simply far too cowardly and headstrong.
"You know I can't do that. And before she gets worried and things get serious, I've pulled the ripcord. I'll never see her again anyway," he said.
"Hm, and why not?"
"Because it just won't work, see? I can't do it. And besides, we live in two different cities, so there's no chance for anyone."

Richard conceded defeat, for now.
"Okay! What do you think about a little walk, maybe along the Elbe or the Alster? There are really such nice places here in Hamburg. A little head-clearing, that would be good for both of us."
Paul looked at Richard as if he had gone completely crazy. Of all the hotspots, where everyone, but really everyone, recognized them.
"No. Leave it alone. The only way would be by car, somewhere out of town, maybe. I don't feel like being recognized and scribbling autographs all the time," Paul said.
Richard nodded in agreement.
"All right, then I'll ask Till if we can dust off a car and go somewhere not so crowded," Richard reassured him.
Paul just nodded gratefully. They finished their coffees, grabbed their clothes and sped off to Till's room.

Chapter Text

"How now? Just like that, just going out for a drive? Hey, guys, do you think that's a good idea? You know we have to be back in Berlin tomorrow?" the singer asked incredulously when the two asked him about the car.

"Well, sure, why not? On corners where no one knows us, there's certainly around Hamburg here," Richard answered him impatiently.
"The little guy is completely finished with the world, he needs a little wind around his nose," came a little calmer from the lead guitarist. At the same time, he patted Paul's head as if he were the big brother who had to protect his little brother.

Till nodded knowingly.
"Okay, okay. But don't let a bunch of chicks run after you again and I can pull the coals out of the fire."

"No, it's clear. Maybe at the Baltic Sea, it's not so far away, right?" asked Paul.
"That's also a possibility. Well, come on then, Paulchen, we're starting - and we're starting now."
Richard let Till give him the keys, asked where the car was, grabbed Paul by the shoulder, whispered a hurried "Thank you" to Till and pulled Paul out of Till's room.

When they arrived at the hotel's underground garage, Richard carefully parked the car and turned on the navigation system. Uhm, Timmendorfer Strand and Scharbeutz were the closest.
"Do you know how long it's been since I've been to the Baltic Sea? The last time was on the Island of Hiddensee with Arielle," Paul mused quietly to himself, and Richard noticed that his voice was trembling and he was furiously wiping a few tears from his eyes.

"Oh wait, why does all this shit have to happen? If I only knew what I did wrong, I'm making myself think all the time and going in circles," Paul sniffled.

"I don't know, but maybe you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe it was just time for her to go. As stupid as it sounds now, Paul, don't stop travelers. I know, old and stupid saying, but it's kind of true," Richard said quietly.
"Huh.", came Paul pondering. Silently they drove on.
The weather wasn't really great, it was drizzling lightly, so they made good time, despite a construction site on the highway.

"It's beautiful here. The Baltic Sea is always nice, isn't it?" Paul said when Richard and he had parked and were now slowly walking along the almost deserted beach.

Richard sucked in the air deeply, it tasted like always at the Baltic Sea, like salt, some seaweed and just like freedom. It was light swell and they sat down in the sand and just looked at the sea.

"There you go, Paulchen. Now again for real!", Richard started pestering him again. "What about the woman you met in the little pub?" asked Richard.

"Oh boy, Scholle, are you going to start that again? I don’t know. No idea. She was kind of cute, but what am I supposed to do with it now? I can't start a relationship again right after the whole number with my wife. I've got to sort it all out somehow first," Paul pressed on.
"You're not supposed to, but maybe she'll distract you a little from the pain, huh? What do you think about going back today. Maybe she'll be there, and you'll try to explain to her why you just ran away tonight?" replied Richard.

Paul mused.
"Well, no one knows if there's anyone there during the day."
"During the day? As you may remember, we are now, DAY OVER, at the Baltic Sea. I actually meant tonight?"
Richard looked at him expectantly and smiled. Paul let the sand slide through his fingers, brooding, then stood up abruptly and paced like a tiger in a cage.

"You're driving me crazy. This can't be all that hard. You're a grown man. You go back there tonight and apologize. What's the problem, please?" Richard asked him indignantly.

"Where this problem is, where this problem is?", Paul yelled at him, but immediately startled by his outburst, plopped back down in the sand and played with the shells lying in the sand.
"Sorry!" He took a deep breath and exhaled, then asked Richard meekly, "But only if you come with me. I don't trust myself alone. I've got her all bent out of shape. She thinks I'm nuts."
"Well, we all kind of have that one, don't we?" grinned Richard smugly and put his arm around Paul's shoulder.

But hey, he wasn't leaving him alone. Paul was his best friend, and besides, he was curious about the woman.
"Well, of course I'll come with you, I'd like to have a look at the sweetie too," Richard winked cheerfully.
"You again," Paul chortled, a little more reconciled. "Alright, then tonight. And please, do me a favor, Richard. Stop flirting, or I'll get so insecure again. I think it's nice if you appeal to the girls, but please don't appeal to her, okay?" came softly from Paul.
"No problem, I'll keep my hands to myself and just watch the whole thing."
"All right."

Paul was shaking all over and his heart was beating a few beats faster than usual. Tonight he would see her again. Just like that! He had already suppressed the whole story again, because he was just so sad and meanwhile also angry that Arielle had left like that, just like that. You don't do that to him! You don't do that to anyone! Maybe anger was just the right outlet to deal with it to some extent?

What the whole thing would look like when he talked to his daughter, he didn't know. But also for this ne solution would have to be found.

He absolutely had to talk to Till again in peace. He was always good at such things, he knew almost to every problem an advice. He had been texting Richard all the time, and now he had to come to the pub with him, because he was too cowardly to handle it on his own. That was enough. He didn't want to take advantage of his friends. After all, the whole affair was his problem. And his own private one at that.

After looking out at the steady lapping of the waves for a long time, the two men made their way back. It was lucky that there were sat navs these days; it wasn't easy to drive in Hamburg, although most people drove considerately, quite unlike in Berlin, where the streets had now become a war zone. At least that's how it felt most of the time. Everyone in a hectic rush, everyone with what felt like constant honking, traffic rules actually not really present with many drivers.

He was glad that Richard was driving, at the moment he wouldn't have the nerve for it either, although he actually liked driving a car.

They parked the car again in the underground garage of the hotel and left the key at the reception for Till, who managed their car pool as he usually did.

"Will you come over when you're done styling?" asked Paul Richard as they stood in front of their rooms.
"Yes, but it can take a while, you know I always need a little longer!" he grinned at the smaller man.
Mr. Kruspe again. There was not a day where he really walked around in sweatpants or at least in comfortable clothes, he always looked like he was made of eggs. And everything always matched.
Paul wondered how Richard did it? If he didn't pick out his clothes for the next day at least one evening before, the next day was eaten. Then it happened that his socks didn't match or he wore his T-shirt the wrong way round. Not to mention stains that had gotten on the wardrobe in any way. Even freshly washed clothes could look to Paul as if the clothes had been stowed away in some dirty boxes for months. He couldn't explain it, but unfortunately that was the way it was.

And now, of course, he had a much bigger problem and felt like most ladies. He didn't know what to wear and was rummaging around aimlessly in his suitcase.

There was a knock at his room door and he was glad to have Richard to consult.

Chapter Text

"What should I wear?" an uncertain Paul asked Richard, who was standing next to him, dressed up as usual. Red shirt, black vest over it, black leather pants and a red jacket. A RED jacket. Something like that suited him, and of course the black-red nail polish and the dramatically black-rimmed eyes could not be missing. And the hairstyle was right. Actually, he could also work as a model. No wonder that the women were at his feet in rows.

Sometimes he thought, if he didn't know any better, Richard could also tick on the other shore. But that was just the way he was. A bit crazy, sure, he played in one of the craziest bands there was. But he was the most loving person you could imagine. Next to Till, of course, but with Till it was more like he saw him as a fatherly friend, although he was only slightly older than him.

"Now I still don't know what to wear!" grumbled Paul after rummaging through his suitcase.
"Say, Paul, it can't be that hard."
Richard raised his eyes. Then he pushed him aside and now rummaged through Paul's suitcase himself.
"Here, what about this?"
Black T-shirt, gray jeans, leather jacket, and biker boots. Yeah, okay, that would do. He put his large-linked silver necklace around his neck.
Lost in thought, he looked at himself in the large mirror hanging on the wall in the hotel room - and was startled. His wife had given him the necklace, he thought. No, he could never put it on again, even though he liked it very much. Then he had to do it without the chain. He took it off again and threw it into the closet, as if he had suddenly had a snake around his neck.
Richard just looked funny and shook his head. Paul was acting very strange. But no wonder with the whole tricky business.

"Got it now?"
Richard stepped from one foot to the other.
"Yes, we are, I'll be done in a minute," came from the bathroom.
Paul actually had kajal around his eyes and was covered in drizzle as if there would be no tomorrow. He only did that with the kohl on stage or when he was totally unsure about something. Well, that could be cheerful tonight.

The two trotted down the hall, when Till suddenly opened the door.
"Well, you two beauties?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "Where do you think you're going?" the singer's sonorous voice boomed through the hotel hallway.
Holy cow, Till and the others knew nothing about his nighttime excursion and certainly nothing about his latest acquaintance, from whom he had run away as if something else were after him.
He looked over at Richard in panic.
But the latter was able to clarify the matter quite confidently. He was really good at that kind of thing, and it was great when he was negotiating with all kinds of people. Richard didn't let him take the butter off the bread.

He took Till aside for a moment and explained that Paul had met someone and they actually only wanted to go there as a couple because Paul didn't dare to go alone. Till started to grin.
"Well, have fun with that."
Paul looked from one to the other. No, he couldn't lose his courage again now. He also explained his point of view to the singer again.
"I wanted to go back to the pub where, yes, I saw the nice lady tonight."
Paul tried a grin that was totally crooked. Richard had to stifle a laugh.
He took Till aside for a moment and explained that Paul had met someone and they actually only wanted to go there as a couple because Paul didn't dare go alone. Till started to grin.
"Well, have fun with that."

Paul looked from one to the other. No, he couldn't lose his courage again now. He also explained his point of view to the singer again.
"I wanted to go to the pub again, where I saw the nice lady tonight."
Paul tried a grin that was totally crooked. Richard had to stifle a laugh.
"Oha. Well then."

Till grinned even wider and also a little insinuatingly.
"Too bad, actually, Paulchen. Schneider, Flake, Olli and I wanted to go again, too. It would have been nice if we could have come along, but Richard's right, you've got to sort something out, don't you?" Till was still grinning and winked at Paul. Then he nudged him briefly in front of the chest and Paul was genuinely relieved.

All six Rammsteins in the little pub? Kalle would be thrilled, but then how was he supposed to get to the cutie? Man, he still didn't know her name. Nah, there was no way he could do that. With Richard alone, okay, but the other flitz peeps as well? No, that could only backfire.

"Thank you, Till. I am sooo excited! She knows who I am. I think Richard will do just fine as a chaperone."
Paul looked apologetically at Richard.
And Till? He looked understanding, but of course was not offended at all. Paul loved that about him. The big man could handle almost any situation, no matter how out of line it was. And he never held grudges, really never.

Till and Richard both shrugged at the same time.
"All right. Not an issue. But I want a report, a detailed one, kiddo. Got it?"
"How now? Shall I describe to you how I p.... the lady?" he didn't get any further, because he started snorting.
Finally some fun again, this very special fun between them. No outsider could really understand it, but it didn't matter.
"Nah, leave it, I don't want to know that much detail. Too much information, Paulchen. You'll do it," came good-naturedly from the singer.
At the same time, he slapped the smaller man on the shoulder with his paw.
"Hiss off already - and have fun, whatever!" he laughed some more, knocking on his side door at Flake.
"Hey, and don't forget. We're leaving for Berlin tomorrow morning around 11:00. You better be awake and ready to go!" he called after them both.
Both nodded and almost ran down the stairs because the elevator was once again not there.
"Crazy people!" Till smirked to himself.

It was still freezing cold and both of them pulled their jackets tightly around their bodies.

"Man, I hate Winter," came a grumbling from Richard.
"Winter? We have autumn, as far as I remember!", came promptly the answer from Paul.
"Yay, but still cold as hell."
Surely Mr. Kruspe hadn't lost his good humor again? But the way wasn't that far, just down the street. So please, what was the tender little soul complaining about again?

Paul saw her from far away. She stood smoking with her cell phone to her ear in front of the little pub, gesturing with the hand that held the cigarette.
"No, damn it. You can't do that at all. How do you imagine that? I only have two hands too, I can't be everywhere. No, Mom, you have to go through it now. I told you before, you can't do it alone and I'm an only child. Have you forgotten? Do something! Yes, okay. I'll come by your house tomorrow."

Annoyed, she put her cell phone back in her pocket, hurriedly finished her cigarette, put out her butt in the ashtray in front of the pub, and was about to go back inside when Paul and Richard arrived at the exact moment.
She turned around - and - yes, it was like in the movies. She blushed, so did Paul. And Richard just managed to stifle a whistle through his teeth. He cleared his throat loudly in return.

"Hey. There's my crazy rock star," she said with amusement.
She wasn't shy and pressed a kiss on him and shook Richard's hand.
"And you brought your colleague. How nice. Hello, um... Richard, right? I can say you, can't I?" she grinned at Richard.
The latter just nodded and smirked to himself.
"Hi there, glad you're here. I wasn't sure."

Paul was as nervous as a teenager and played with his scarf, which he had wrapped around his neck. Richard thought it was pretty funny, but before they got stuck here, Richard almost pushed Paul into the little store behind the pretty lady and entered himself.
"Very nice down here - feels like the catacombs of Babylon or something," Richard chortled as the two of them found themselves a seat at the small bar.
Kalle was apparently not on duty today, so the pretty woman was tending bar.

"Tell me, what's your name, last time I was so lost that I didn't even ask for your name?" came meekly from Paul.
He tried a small smile and watched her mix the drinks. Richard and he each had a beer in front of them, lounging over the counter.
"I'm Jenny." she replied softly, smiling. "Why are you guys still here anyway, don't you have to get on to the next town?" she asked.
"No, we have a week off, today one off-day, as we say so nicely with us, and tomorrow back again in our hometown. Next week we'll continue with the tour. But only three more weeks, then it's a tour break," Paul said.

"Okay. Somehow a pity, would have liked to get to know you even closer. But there is nothing you can do. You musicians are always on the road. Another one?" she asked the two.
Paul nodded, but Richard shook his head.
"I'll be over there, okay?" he grinned at Paul and Jenny.
Paul followed his gaze. Sure, Mr. Kruspe had spotted something nice female. He just couldn't help himself. He thought his piece and turned back to Jenny.

Well, then he had to go through it alone, he was already big. He wasn't the flirt king, like a certain black-haired guy, but he could have a nice chat.
"Well, Berlin and Hamburg are not soo far away from each other. I just have to go back tomorrow, otherwise there'll be trouble with my management and the other guys - besides, I have a date with my daughter tomorrow night. I've got to sort something out."
Jenny nodded.

And already he was back in the sadness and the fact that he was alone. Now please, not the tears again, man. He was unfortunately built so close to the water, he hated himself for it. Wiping his eyes furtively, he drank a big gulp and excused himself briefly to go to the bathroom. There he locked himself in, sat on the closed toilet lid and fought with himself and the tears.

Chapter Text

"Okay, Paul, that's the end of your bad mood! You go out there now and try to behave properly. And behave like a guy, not like a sissy!" he scolded himself loudly and covered his mouth in fright.
Hopefully no one had noticed, after all, this was a public toilet.
He quietly stepped out of the cubicle and really looked under every door like in a bad movie. Phew, lucky. All empty.

In the vestibule, he washed his face with cold water, tightened up and stepped back into the pub room.

In a corner, however, Richard had made himself very comfortable with a well-built brown-haired woman, looked her deep in the eyes and in the décolleté, the old charmer, she laughed, a little too loud for Paul's taste, and he laughed along. Richard now again, as he was known. And hey, who knows, maybe it was a professional, after all, they were in the middle of the neighborhood in Hamburg.

But the old philanderer really didn't let anything go to waste. Paul had rather had the feeling lately that things were going better again with Margaux. He himself simply could not understand Richard's behavior.
He had a wonderful little daughter with this woman, Margaux herself was not to be sneezed at, he worked a lot with her, asked her advice here and there... but it was really a neverending story.

And as silly as it sounded, it wasn't his problem either. He had a completely different one. He had to somehow cope with the fact that he was alone now, without a wife... And he wanted to get to know the sweet lady here in the store better. Maybe Richard was right and it was quite good as a distraction. There was no need to go to extremes, but hey, who knows. She did him good and he was somewhat distracted from his current worries.

So he slowly trotted towards the counter .... and froze! He stopped stock-still!

There she sat, Arielle, his still-wife, full life-size and talking animatedly to a man he didn't know, devouring her with her eyes. She was laughing and apparently having a great time.
Oh - my - God!!! Please what was that? Why the heck here of all places? That couldn't be a coincidence, could it? There were no coincidences, Paul was convinced of that.

There were so many pubs in St. Pauli, why had she appeared here of all places?
Above all, why in Hamburg?
There were enough cities.
Why not Berlin? Berlin was big enough that the two of them wouldn't necessarily run into each other.
What was she doing in Hamburg? And above all, who was this guy?

What kind of bullshit was going on here again? Something like that could only happen to him. If something went wrong, then it had to go right.

And how on earth was he supposed to get to Jenny at the bar without passing Arielle? All he could do was sit in a corner somewhere, watch the whole thing and wait. And always with the fear that she could see him. And of course also the fear, how would she react?
Would she talk to him, would she ignore him and pretend she didn't know him? After all, he and she had been married for over 20 years - yes, had been.

And now Paul had also finally reached a point where he didn't want to go back, now the anger in his stomach was at the level where he just wanted to forget.
He just didn't feel like being sad all the time anymore, always on the limit to the next crying fit. He wanted to be happy again, like it was his nature.
And that's where work was the very best thing to distract him.
And of course distraction in the form of this sweet woman here in the pub, who was not even 5 meters away, but unreachable at the moment, because Arielle of all people was sitting in this pub - in the only one in the world apparently.

He was starting to think again. Maybe he had a real chance with Jenny if he played it right and she wasn't just a casual pub acquaintance. Even though they were separated by over 280 kilometers, if you wanted to, anything went. And he wanted her! Definitely!

He had picked a corner where he wouldn't be seen right away and where he could keep a good eye on Arielle and even Richard and his latest acquisition.

Richard apparently hadn't noticed anything about Arielle and her companion, because he slowly meandered along the brunette's neck with breathy kisses until he arrived at her mouth. It was impossible to look away, it was like an accident.
The good Mr. Kruspe had it really on it, there one could directly still learn something. Even though Paul's situation was anything but great at the moment, he still had to smile. He had also stopped counting Richard's achievements at some point. Sometimes he had the feeling that Richard saw it as a sport to pick up as many broads as possible.

At the beginning of their career, he had had real races with Till. At some point, things became more relaxed with Till. But with Richard you could really think that he never found his way out of his stormy time. Or he wanted to distract himself all the time, just not to think about his life. Also kind of sad. Yet he was really a sweet guy. Apparently normal long term relationships really weren't his thing, he had tried several times, all failed so far.

Paul forced himself to look away and to take stock of the situation.

Jenny must have been wondering where he was getting off. She was looking for something with her glances, he could see that exactly from his "hiding place".
Now it apparently became too silly for her and she came out from behind the counter and looked around the small pub. Then she had spotted him. She came up to him and Paul just quickly pressed an index finger on his mouth. She checked it out immediately. Thank God.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered softly, dropping down next to him.
Good question, should he tell an almost complete stranger about his problems? But he felt comfortable in her presence, he trusted her strangely enough, although he had experienced quite different things, just because he was famous.

Maybe he was lucky for once and she wasn't one of those gossips who just wanted to fleece him or decorate themselves with a rock star. But he didn't think of her that way.

Well, she had recognized him immediately, sure. But she didn't pretend to be a groupie or a crazy teenager.
She was a grown woman, and you could tell. Not this constant grinning and showing off, like some of the women who were always hanging around backstage after the concerts.
Some of them weren't even as old as his daughter. And most of the time he was so embarrassed by it all that he reeled off his autograph-giving and photo-making program and then ducked out in good time. Although he really liked being around people and having fun.
Now, at this moment, he would have liked to have Till with him to ask him for advice. But he and Richard had known how to prevent his colleagues from being here. They were probably somewhere close by, but not HERE.

What a shit!

He thought about writing a message to Till, but if all the Rammsteiner should show up here, where most of them didn't even know what exactly was going on with him, and then also met Arielle with a complete stranger, with whom she smooched, laughed and flirted - that could only end in chaos. So he quickly dismissed the idea.

Chapter Text

"I can't go back to the counter. My ex is sitting there with a guy I don't know," he replied meekly.
"Your ex? How so? Your ex-wife, ex-girlfriend?" came the breathed answer from Jenny.
"My ex-wife!", Paul hissed reluctantly and sadly.

His heart was beating wildly and he had to swallow several times to keep those stupid tears from starting to take on a life of their own again.

"Uhm, I didn't even know you had an EX-wife. I always thought you were married, happily for years. I know you have two kids by two different women and that your son is doing something with music too. But that you're not with her anymore, that's news to me. Well, you don't get much press about your private life, but that might have leaked out, too," she said more to herself, nervously tapping her fingers on the table.

Paul looked at her as if she were reading through and reciting the press release for the latest album. Despite the precarious and unreal situation, he chuckled to himself.
What some people must think of them too? Was somehow very special and partly really funny. Yes, they were able to polarize - they had worked out and practiced for years.

And he remembered another funny situation, when Schneider had tried to play the bad guy in front of the mirror in their early years, made up to the Get-No, in an impossibly long black leather skirt with black fingernails, he felt like Martin Gore from Depeche Mode, whom he loved dearly and still did.
Only that Martin looked much cooler than he did.

Schneider looked like a wax doll, long, skinny and so completely without expression. Everyone laughed themselves silly at that time, because nothing of the evil rock star wanted to come across. Even his incredible blue eyes couldn't change that. He was and is simply a nice guy. In the meantime he had made his peace with it, but he was still insulted to death for days because he thought he came across as cool as Martin Gore.

But there is only ONE Martin Gore. And this guy is also totally friendly and loving. They were able to experience that themselves a few years ago when they covered "Stripped" and they met up with Depeche Mode in London. The guys all had that English gentleman touch, but since Martin had lived in Germany for a while and his girlfriend at the time was also from here, he was a little different and even spoke a few words of German.

Paul got along with him right away, they were on the same wavelength and Richard couldn't get over it because he was into the 80s anyway and still is.
Schneider himself had then also recognized that Depeche Mode drove on a very own line, without seeming arrogant or aloof. And he took that to heart. For Schneider, that was a turning point. He actually became a bit more accessible and no longer as buttoned-up as he had been for a long time. He was always a bit introverted, a total show-off at concerts, but as soon as he was in private, you had to pull every word out of his nose. Paul couldn't understand that, because he himself was never at a loss for a stupid remark.

Jenny nudged him and raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Sorry, I was just in thoughts ...", Paul apologized. Then he continued speaking.

"Well, until recently I thought everything was fine. I thought wrong. It just took off, like that, right away, you see? I was just out with the boys. If our housekeeper hadn't said anything about your wife going on tour with us, I probably wouldn't have realized it until we got back," Paul blurted out unfiltered.

Jenny looked at him doubtfully. Maybe he had cheated, no wonder, with the selection of groupies from all over the world that this band had night after night. Surely there was someone who wanted to get close to him. He was a handsome guy with sunshine in his heart. Women liked that, no question about it.
But Paul immediately answered her thoughts as if he had just read them.

"You know, I'm not the kind of guy who takes advantage of things like that all the time. I could, but I don't want to. I need something steady, I'm not like my colleagues."
He nodded his head to his buddy sitting three tables away.
The latter was now half hanging on the girl, practically eating her up.

He giggled softly to himself, so that Jenny also turned her gaze towards Richard. She made big eyes and also giggled to herself.
"Hey, is he always like that?"
"Not always, but often. He just can't help it. Tomorrow he will definitely not know the girl. Somehow sad, I think. But there's nothing you can do about it, he's always been like that. And the girls fall at his feet in rows," Paul mused to himself.

Jenny thought her piece about Richard, he was already a pretty one, but also somehow a greyhound, who couldn't or didn't want to commit himself. She excused herself briefly when she noticed that new guests had come into the small store and were looking around for the waitress.

"You, I have to get back to the counter, new guests just came in. I'll come back for you later when Kalle starts his shift, okay?"
Stroking, she ran her hand over his, which held the beer glass.

Oha, he got goose bumps of the finest kind. Hello, what was going on there? Somehow this woman was totally turning him on, even though she wasn't actually doing anything reprehensible. She wasn't flirting with him offensively, and she wasn't throwing herself at him like the girl with Richard. Until just now, she was apparently convinced that he was just a little distraction, since she assumed that he was happily engaged.
No, he was NOT - not anymore!
Understanding, he nodded at her.

Now he was sitting alone at his table again and could continue to watch his still-wife, the guy had moved even closer to her. She giggled again, threw her hair back, you could tell she was happy - without him. Without him? Sniffling, he wiped his eyes.

How did it all go down such wrong tracks? Had they still been happy in the last few years? Paul didn't know the answer to that.

They lived next to each other, had sex now and then, but when he thought about it, it hadn't really been right, one hundred percent, in bed in the last few months. He had blamed that on their many jobs, there was not really in the thing, but so really welded together as before, they were no longer, if he let that happen now so review.

They hadn't done anything as a couple in ages, always with others or not at all. Television evenings, if they existed once, with their both scarce time, had been rather rare.

Earlier they had enjoyed such things, snuggled up to each other and devoured movies in chord. Now and then they went away, mostly of course to the Baltic Sea, which they both loved. And in all that time, such a routine had crept in, which had probably ultimately led to the breakup. And he had not noticed it again. Typical!

Of course, that had been completely different at the beginning of their relationship. What a crush he had on this woman, and she had been so brittle in the beginning that he thought it would never be something between them.

She had buried herself in her work a lot lately, he was on the road a lot with Rammstein, one tour after the next, in between studio work, interviews, video shoots etc.

They had grown apart, to say the least, and in the process, love had apparently died. Until she was suddenly no longer there.

Had he really just been so preoccupied with himself that he hadn't noticed the signs? He was usually so anxious to have everything under control, to respond to everyone and everything. Especially to the people who were important to him and whom he loved. He had always had antennae for such things. When had it gotten so out of hand?

Chapter Text

He thought back to the old times with Flake on Hiddensee, when they had been so damn young. Again he swallowed. Those were really nice days, he had had a lot of fun. They had both still been with Feeling B and had only nonsense in their heads. And they had drunk, those East German schnapps. It's unbelievable what he could take back then. They could really knock your legs out.

They were both attached to Alyosha, even though he was almost twice as old as they were and actually always just wide.
Flake was just 16, two years younger than him.
Where had the time gone? He had liked the long lug from the beginning. He was so clumsy in everything he did, but always eager to show it to everyone. He had thrown himself into playing the piano like a madman and later with his first keyboard.
Flake had been so proud when he could coax the first notes out of it. Since they didn't have a bass in Feeling B, Flake had taken over that part as well, so he had already become a little bit of a multi-instrumentalist. What he did with the keyboard nowadays was simply insane and Flake himself didn't see it that way. He was and still is a modest guy and the most loving thing you could imagine.
Paul admired him incredibly for that. Everything looked so simple and easy with him, but it was not at all. He "only" had his guitar to play, but with Flake it was much more.

Paul smiled to himself.

And hello, how the people on the ferries from Rügen to Hiddensee had looked when he was surfing naked off the coast of Hiddensee with Alyosha's surfboard, which he was allowed to borrow from time to time. So what, nudism was quite normal in the former East and no problem for him. Above all, he had never heard of surfing before, until Aljoscha, who was considered Swiss, had enlightened him. After a few failed attempts, he had managed to stand at least somewhat upright on such a board and at some point it was fun. Nowadays you could forget something like that. Back then he was only known as a crazy teenager, nowadays he was a member of the most famous German metal band, so unfortunately that wasn't possible anymore. Only in places where really nobody knew them, and there weren't that many anymore.

He grinned again.

Yes, and then Flake had really fallen in love for the first time and didn't know how to tell the girl back then. What did they do to get him to finally date her? She had been into him for a long time before he had realized it.

From some village boys they had learned that she was a total Depeche Mode fan. So Flake and he tried to get her an LP of the guys, which was actually an impossibility in the East. Through Alyosha they finally made it. It was no problem for him to get the Speak and Spell LP.

Flake was so excited that evening when Paul finally persuaded him to ring her doorbell and give her the LP. He stood guard because they knew her parents were out of town. When she opened the door and invited Flake in, Paul was still standing guard so no neighbors would notice. Then, when he heard distinct noises coming from the house, he took off in a flake. It was Flake's first time and he talked about his experience for years to come.

His dear Flake, the crazy keyboard fucker, as he called himself.

He grinned to himself.

Flake had always been different. And when it then went in the direction of Rammstein, he wanted to join partout not.

What was Paul talking about like a traveling preacher? He really wanted Flake in this new band, even though it looked like he wouldn't fit. But Flake would be a great addition to the crazy troupe, he knew that at the time.

That he himself would get a huge damper from Schneider of all people, he would not have thought either. Paul was too excited for him at the time and was always talking back. For Schneider, Paul was just exhausting, he couldn't and didn't want to have something like that with him, although he himself had joined Feeling B at some point when their drummer had thrown in the towel.

Paul was still exhausting sometimes, especially when they were in discussions, especially about music, but he also became a bit calmer.

In the meantime, he loved Schneider idolatrously, because he was simply the way he was. Schneider was a stunner, in every way.
Back then, as a young, wild guy, he'd seen things quite differently, of course. He was always at odds with him, even though he was more of a harmony guy himself and Schneider was too, as it turned out later. A nice guy with a rock star attitude that comes out from time to time.

And Paul knew that Flake was scared of all the pyrotechnics and still is. The first concerts in the 90s had been relatively harmless. How often had Till surprised him with some surprise effects, where he had always thought that was it and Flake would throw down. But he never did.

Now it had become a routine, although Flake still feels uncomfortable with some actions on stage, even though he knows that nothing can really happen, especially because Till is a trained pyrotechnician.
When it came to the penis number during "Bück dich", Flake was really upset. He didn't want something like that, it was too much for him - and my God, what had he been bitching about with Till back then? He really didn't want to take part in it, but Till was adamant and so Flake complied at some point. Although he is still embarrassed.

And despite all the friction they sometimes had. None of them would ever leave this band. They were a sworn community, a family, and everyone was proud of that. Everybody could rely on everybody else. Who could boast something like that? Over 25 years. Some marriages don't last that long...

Marriage... yes, there it was again - the word that meant so much to him and which he could now completely forget.

He briefly drew the rising tears through his nose and continued to think about the old times.

Or, for example, the subject of flying and Flake.
A theater, when the first joint flight was due to concerts. Until Paul had gotten some tranquilizer tablets from his mother. Thank God they worked for Flake. The good guy had slept through the entire flight and was no longer of any use that day. But since they always arrived at least one day before the concerts, that had not been a problem. Flake had gotten the fear of flying under control by means of a piece of a crashed plane, which he had gotten from his brother. He carried this piece with him on every flight. But he still doesn't feel comfortable flying around the world.

Oh yes, the old days had been kind of cool. They were so carefree back then, although not everything always went their way in the East. Especially the number with the gigs, until they got any performance permits, took forever. The things they had to explain, and the Stasi was always involved somehow.
Once they wanted to sign him up as an unofficial collaborator, but Paul had played so dumb that they immediately backed out.

And then he met Nikki. Man, what a grenade! And then on Hiddensee, in the greatest summer heat, at his favorite vacation spot. Somehow everything fit - at least for him.

He didn't really have any experience with girls, he was only 20 when he met her. She was two years younger.

What had he done the first time he had sex with her. Unbelievable. He wanted to do everything right and nothing happened. Nothing. But she had been patient with him until eventually it worked.

And she had been so wonderfully rebellious, as he would have liked to be, but never really was. He still wasn't to this day, though he had perfected that evil eye thing a bit.
A nice guy with constant laughter in Germany's most famous metal troupe wouldn't fit, at least not at public appearances. But he didn't care about that anymore. When he was in a good mood, he had to laugh and make some nonsense, he couldn't help it. And he was usually in a good mood and laughed even more in private.

And worst of all, Nikki didn't want anything from him at first. He had struggled, stolen fresh flowers from her field, even had his mother bake a cake. In vain! She was with Lars at the time, that snob who always bragged about having western relatives. Phh, and what had it brought him? Nothing.
At some point she had decided for him, although he came across more as a Schlusi with long hair and not really well-groomed.

Yes, they were already a sworn community, especially with Flake and Aljoscha back then at Feeling B.
Flake had warned him about Nikki, she would not fit in with them, but he would not listen. He even married her - at the age of 20 and then moved out at home. He just wanted to try being married. Just carefree, as one is as a young person.

What had his mother cried when he also took Nikki's last name and her beloved Heiko now used his middle name Paul as his first name. She couldn't really cope with it all.
For his mother, solid structures had always been important, just like for his father. To this day, he was called Heiko by him. No backtalk! Sure, his parents had been loyal socialists in the East, which he himself had never understood. There one became apparently so and with changes, all the same which kind, one did not get along...

Chapter Text

He was so upset when, at the age of eight, he had to go to Moscow with his sister and his parents.
He didn't want to leave, it was so cosy somehow in Berlin, he had his clique at school, his environment, his normal life.
And then to another country he didn't know and where he thought there were only people who paid homage to Leonid Brezhnev.
Far from it!
He met a Russian boy who was also rather rebellious, who didn't put up with everything and who had nothing whatsoever to do with all the socialism. He got on well with him straight away.

And after a year, it was already over with Russia and he went back to Berlin. And strangely enough, he missed Russia, he quickly got used to the customs there. The people there were simply different, unbelievably nice and obliging. And everything was always very relaxed. And they could discuss for all they were worth, too, even though they seemed so relaxed.

Paul grinned to himself again.

Yeah, discussing, he could do that - until the get-no. Once he was convinced of something, he could argue to the death. That was probably where his Eastern European temperament came through. How often had he driven his friends and colleagues to the breaking point when he really wanted something?

The friendship with the Russian boy, who was of course now a man, had remained and had become even stronger in the last few years. They had the same sense of humour and in the meantime he was working in the crew of Rammstein.

In that respect he was like Flake. He had also met a boy from Chile at school, Paulo, with whom he got on well and with whom he got into the South American music wave. What had Flake heard back then and what was he still listening to? He loves rarities and still likes to rummage in old record shops, of which there are unfortunately not so many left.
And when he found out that a so-called Rodigro Gonzalez played guitar with the Rainbirds and later became a member of one of his favourite bands, he was completely over the moon.
His good flake, always good for surprises.

And now that same Paulo was also working with the Rammstein crew and had already organised many a South American evening backstage, where Till was also very taken with it. He, too, was taken by the music from the other side of the world.

Otherwise, however, Flake had suffered quite a lot from the malice of his fellow pupils. How often did they make fun of him and sometimes put him in rubbish bins? You kind of get a trauma, Paul wasn't really surprised that Flake was the way he was.

And he himself had then lived illegally in Berlin with Nikki in a flat in a squat. They were still happy then, until she realised at some point that she wanted to run away somewhere in the West.
And him?
He didn't agree with the East and all the state power, but somehow leaving was never an option for him. Leave his beloved Berlin? Never!
And in the end the relationship failed because of that. And he had suffered once again. He was simply far too empathetic.

After the divorce two years later, he moved into a flat share with Flake. It was no problem to rehearse late into the night, because their rehearsal room was in Alyosha's flat.

Paul grinned. How nice it was to look back on the old times. There were not only stupid things, but also really nice ones.

For example, the birth of his son in the 90s. He had been so incredibly proud to become a father. Well, he fainted in the delivery room. Man, that was embarrassing. Back then, he had let his hair down and was super cool. And then something like this happened to him.
His ex only had a weary smile for it. To this day, he has a lot of respect for how women manage to have children. And what they manage to do. As far as he can remember, his mother always managed everything, from bringing up children to the smallest penny that had to be saved somewhere for the next necessary purchase.

Well - and then he had met Arielle and she had hit like a bomb.

She was and is a make-up artist and had already worked for Rammstein in make-up.
At first, he only found her nice and quite attractive with her long, red-dyed hair, but her caring and loving nature eventually made it more than that. They had the same sense of humour and could laugh about the silliest things together. At least for him, she was THE woman par excellence at that time.

But there, too, he had to fight again.

Because of course a woman like that also had a guy on her back.

And him?

He had a crush on her and had courted her for a long time until she finally broke up with this leek. But it still took what felt like an eternity before she finally decided on him. She had only found out that the other had been cheating on her for years by a stupid coincidence.
They had been out to dinner with the whole band and crew and the guy had nothing better to do than to dance in the same place with a toupeed beauty and let the charmer hang out.

Arielle had been watching this for a while, then she decided to get up, walked to their table, poured his red wine over the guy's head and shirt and slapped him hard across the face.
Then she had turned on her heel, sat down next to him and shoved her tongue down his throat. Demonstratively, so that everyone could see.
Paul was totally overwhelmed by such an action, which was more like a slut than Arielle, who was anything but.

Till and the others almost had the food and drinks fall out of their faces, because they hadn't seen him like that either. This would have been more the case with Till or Richard, but not with the rather shy Paul, who concealed his shyness with his big mouth.

Well, from that evening on they were a couple.
She moved in with him and they pretty quickly put their money where their mouth was by getting married. Which he never wanted to do again after the break-up with Nikki, but then he had been incredibly young and naïve.

Wistfully, he thought about how happy he had been when Arielle had told him she was pregnant.

He had wanted a daughter so much, and that is what happened.
His little girl, whom he adored. And to whom he would have to come clean tomorrow night. He dreaded the meeting. For the first time he had a bad feeling.

When he thought about it, he had always been very lucky for a while, but at some point all his relationships failed.

Like this one... and he still didn't know why? Why did his relationships fail after a certain time?

What did Olli, Flake and Schneider do right?

Well, Schneider hadn't been married that long, but as far as he knew, this relationship was very happy. After all, Ulrike and he had three healthy boys together. And it had been going well for several years. There had never been a bad word said. Schneider was happy, you could see it in his face and he seemed at peace.

And Flake was also doing well with his wife, who had also been together for ages and had several children. Paul would never have thought it possible, but Flake and his wife were a sworn team.

Not to mention Olli. The quiet giant had stealthily dared to do it. His buddies had been pretty pissed at the time that he hadn't let them in on it, but a huge post-wedding party had made up for a lot.

His wife was the complete opposite of Olli, rather funky and never at a loss for a stupid quip. Sometimes he had to rein her in quite a bit, but Paul believed that it was precisely this difference between the two of them that welded them together.

Olli was also very happy and had quite arrived in his life, but rarely spoke about private matters. Maybe that was just as well.

Only with Till was there a lack of long-term relationships. He had married early and had been super faithful back then. It was only when his wife at the time and mother of his daughter Nele cheated on him that something in the big man broke. Since then, he lived more in the day and took what was readily offered to him. And there was a lot that was offered.

But Till was also different from Paul. He had no problem giving someone a lift now and then, not to the same extent as Richard, but he was much more relaxed than Paul.

Did he cling too much, was he away too often, but then so were the others?
Was it the sex?
Yes, man, you had to ask yourself questions like that!

Maybe he couldn't make the women of this world as happy as he should have? Or was he just too cerebral about these things? Maybe he just wasn't as easy-going as Richard, for example. But a new flame almost every night? He couldn't do that and all this internet flirting wasn't for him either.

He wasn't really found on the social media channels either, somehow he didn't connect with them. He preferred to get to know different people on a personal level. Directly face to face. That was the best way to find out what made someone tick. He was probably too oldschool, but that couldn't be a reason for a break-up.

Chapter Text

Now he was brooding again and worriedly realised that his beer was empty and he HAD to go to the bar. He furtively looked to his left, where he thought his friend Richard was, but he had apparently already left with the girl for the hotel. He was not really surprised. Once again, Mr Kruspe didn't let anything go to waste. Him and his need for confirmation. But maybe it was a good thing that he didn't notice the whole thing with Arielle.

He peeked out from behind his corner to see if Jenny was still behind the bar, but there Kalle was just about to tap a new round for the guests at the bar.
Jenny was nowhere to be seen. And there was no sign of Arielle either.
Well clean, then it looked like the coast was clear.
Paul stood up heavily and walked slowly to the counter until he was nudged on the shoulder from the left.

"Hey, handsome, want to go already?"
Jenny grinned at him and had two beer glasses in her hands for them both. Paul was totally relieved that it was "only" Jenny. He had already expected the worst, but unfortunately at some point he had to face the failure of his marriage.
"Nah, I just wanted to get a new beer."
"Already done." she replied, smiling back at him and they sat down in the corner again.

Paul was still upset and didn't really know how to deal with the whole shitty thing. He tried to concentrate on his companion.

He watched Jenny and noticed that when she was talking she gestured a lot, when she explained something she rolled her eyes, laughed, frowned, wiggled her eyebrows. She could have been an actress. He had seen something like that from time to time with a good friend who is also an actor. He talked away from the cameras with sweeping gestures and chose his words carefully. It's probably something that was drilled into you at drama school. But how Jenny could do that was a mystery to him. At some point he would ask her about it, but at the moment he really only had one thing on his mind, he wanted to finally be closer to her, kiss her, touch her, maybe more. He tried to concentrate again and really listen to her. He had to finally sweep his thoughts of Arielle aside so he could concentrate on the here and now.

He learned that she was from Dresden, had moved to Hamburg a few years ago, for love of course.
He hung on her lips and realised much too late that he was starting to drool until Jenny furtively wiped his mouth, smiled again and stroked his cheek as she did so.

'Okay, Paul, it's now or never', he thought to himself and pulled her close. His heart was beating to bursting and he hoped that he would not incur her displeasure with this action. But she smiled at him and then her face came close to him. He slowly stroked her cheek and closed his eyes. Very gently and thoughtfully he kissed her. She returned his tenderness and settled into a more intense kiss.

Paul had butterflies dancing samba in his stomach and he knew he was beginning to fall in love with the waitress. Oh man, it was always like that with him. Where with some men it was just the mundane desire for sex that prevailed, nah, he couldn't do that. He was probably more feminine deep down inside. If he went that far, then feelings, and real ones at that, were always involved. He couldn't do without it, at least not with him. He was just putting his hand on the back of her neck and slowly kissing her neck when ...

"Jenny, can you come here? Your guy is wanted!" came loudly from the counter.

Oh dear, always at the wrong moment.

"Sorry, I have to go... I'll be right back," she apologised, stroked her hair back, blew a quick kiss on his mouth and hurried off towards the counter.

He felt intoxicated, as if he had taken whatever drugs. He furtively stroked his mouth and noticed that something was stirring in his lower floor. No wonder, with this woman. His heart was still pounding like crazy, he felt like he was 16 and grinned furtively to himself.

What a night. Speaking of night.

He looked at his mobile to check what time it was. Half past two? Paul was startled. Oh, dear, hadn't Till said he was leaving at 11:00?

And how could he possibly leave now, after those first caresses with Jenny? Now that he had finally plucked up the courage and opened up a little to this woman.

It was definitely the wrong time. He couldn't, he couldn't leave now. But he HAD to go to Berlin.

He thought about it. Should he rent a car, the boys could take his suitcase, but who would pack his things for him and then stow them in the bus? So not an option either.

What a bummer!

But just as he was thinking about how he could bring the whole thing to a good end, things got even worse....

Arielle was suddenly standing in front of him, as if she had come out of the ground, and looked down at him with a snooty expression.
In a rather cold voice she spat out his name....

"Mr Landers! I thought we'd never see each other again! But you're sticking like .... Well, let's not go there! You've comforted yourself right away. How nice for you! With a waitress from Hamburg's neighbourhood. I would have thought you were better than that, but well, once a squirt, always a squirt!"

She stood in front of him, condescending and grinning maliciously - and he?
Swallowed, and couldn't get a sound out. He just looked at her sadly.

Actually, he should get up now and make the scene for HER, but none of that happened.
How could she be so ice-cold after all those happy years?
What had happened?
And above all, why was she putting him down like this?
Who on earth had run off without a word?
Paul felt the anger slowly eating into him.

"Are you talking about me?" came a voice from behind Arielle. Jenny!

Startled, she turned around, measured Jenny disparagingly from top to bottom, smiled coldly and turned back to Paul. She leaned down towards him.

"Just so you know, I don't need anything from you! You can take all your money and shove it, Mister Superstar! And don't even think about looking for me. You can forget it!" she hissed viciously, stood up again and was about to leave the little shop with the guy she had come with, who was waiting for her at the counter, when Paul hissed angrily, "You won't get any! And since when have I been chasing after any chicks?" after her.

The pub door slammed shut and Paul sat paralysed in his chair. So that was it, the end with horror of his oh-so-happy marriage, as he had always thought.

Jenny sat down with him, and when Paul realised that he had tears in his eyes again and was inwardly berating himself for being the biggest wimp in the world, she slowly stroked his cheeks and wiped the tears from his face.

"Hey, shhhh, it's all good. Try to calm down a bit."
She held him tightly and realised he was shaking all over.

"Hey, what was that number again? You're out of your mind."
Paul was angry and really pissed off. He felt humiliated and didn't know what to do with his feelings.

"Paul, you're not alone. You mustn't let it get to you like this, do you hear?"
Jenny spoke quickly and pressed another kiss to his cheek. He realised that it did him an incredible amount of good. This woman was balm for his battered soul. How did that sound?

NOW would have been the right time to storm off and leave everything behind, no matter what they should all think of him.
But, there was the little angel, fictitiously sitting on his right shoulder, whispering to him that he should give Jenny a try. Just because she was trying so hard to be nice to him.
And the little devil on his left shoulder also grinned and whispered that he had no chance with her, at such a distance and with his job and all.

No, now was good - with both! He straightened up, furiously wiping the tears from his own face.

"Okay, sweetie, you're right. I'm afraid I'll have to go to the hotel now. We're leaving really early tomorrow, but I promise, if you give me your number, I'll be back by Sunday at the latest! We have a few days off. Can you do it at all or are you completely busy?"

Paul looked as energetic as was possible with his happy face. Although there were still little tears hanging from his long eyelashes.

Jenny grinned to herself because she didn't buy his bad-boy act at all. But she really wanted to see him again, because the caresses didn't leave her unscathed either.
She had sworn to herself after her last shitty relationship that it would be a long time before a male was allowed to hit on her again, let alone kiss or more. But with Paul it was different. He won her over with his manner, his sunny nature simply did her good and she felt as if they had known each other forever. With him, she had no inhibitions at all and no matter what else might happen, she was almost sure that they could get through it all TOGETHER.

"I would be very happy if I could see you again soon," she breathed back to him.
She gave him her number and he immediately called so she had his number too. He pulled her up and embraced her, sucking in her scent and kissing her tenderly once more. She snuggled up to him. Could it really be that she was finally lucky in love again?

"See you Sunday, kid!" he breathed, grabbed his jacket from the coat hook and paid his bill to Kalle at the counter. Kalle looked quite surprised when he came out of his corner.

"Hey, kid, there you are," the man grinned and collected the money. "Had to go again? Always on the road, huh? Well, have a good trip and see you soon," he called after him and then went on to take care of his other guests.

Paul smiled at Kalle with a shrug of his shoulders, stumbled out of the shop and walked rather quickly towards the hotel. He needed a good night's sleep now, otherwise he would be so slack tomorrow. Besides, his daughter was cooking for him, so he should be fit. And he had to explain to her this whole disgraceful performance by her mother. He didn't really know how to do that yet either...

Chapter Text

The next morning Paul was exhausted. Of course he couldn't really sleep, there were only 5 hours at the most in which he could have slept, but this whole performance by his ex-wife robbed him of all sleep.
Annoyed, he got up around 8.00 a.m., sat down on his balcony and heard a rumbling in the next room.
What kind of noise was Richard making at this hour?

Contrary to his habits, he lit a cigarette (yes, he had thought of it and bought some in the pub) and smoked, lost in thought. Suddenly the balcony door in the next room opened and Richard came out. Oha, dear Richard looked rather crumpled.

"Well, Scholle, had a hot night??", Paul grinned at him.
Richard was startled for a moment because he hadn't expected to see Paul so early, but then he grinned, and shortly afterwards the girl from the pub appeared next to him, wrapped in his bathrobe.

Richard stood next to her, clad only in a towel around his hips, and put an arm around her possessively.

Paul grinned again.

That was also something new, that Mr Kruspe's various night acquaintances were apparently allowed to stay for breakfast after all.
She in turn smiled winningly and held out her hand to Paul over the balcony parapet. "Hi. I'm Sylvie," she fluted.

No, she wasn't a professional apparently, because she would have been gone by now. Paid, of course.

"Hey, it's an honour. I'm Paul," he replied comfortably and grinned.
"What time do we have to leave, Paul?" Richard asked.
"Till said 11.00, I think."
"Well then, we still have a little time."

Richard kissed the little girl on the cheek, grabbed her bottom and, with a meaningful look at Paul, pushed her back into his room and closed the balcony door.
Typical Richard.
Paul trotted into his room and shortly afterwards disappeared into the shower to clear his head to some extent. As usual, he forgot the time and thought of times gone by:

It had been at the „Echo“. He and Schneider had been invited. And Richard was also in the audience, but apparently didn't want to go on stage and collect the prize. Instead, he courted Paul by standing up during the applause and giving him a little kiss. That crazy guy. And even Till wasn't in the mood for that, although Till's ex Sophia would definitely have liked to go. The woman just made him want to puke, Paul thought. Always trying to put herself in the right light, no matter what the others said. And she hadn't really paid attention to Till's feelings until he turned the tables on her. Yes, and then it had come to a separation quite quickly. Thank God for that.

Anyway, Rammstein got an award back then and he and Schneider had to go on stage. The award was presented by Marilyn Manson, which Paul thought was pretty cool, and since Schneider had apparently forgotten how to speak into a microphone, he had to take over, of course.

He didn't really have a problem with it, only all of a sudden he spotted Emil's mother in the audience, she was almost sitting next to Arielle. Paul was so startled that he couldn't make a sound at first, until Schneider nudged him unobtrusively. From then on it went more or less smoothly.

What the hell was Yvonne doing in the audience? They hadn't been in contact for years. She had only looked at him contemptuously and he had somehow managed his speech. When he had finished, she had suddenly disappeared.

Another funny thing. He had never spoken to her again after that.
And come to think of it, Arielle had been kind of strange from then on, too. Maybe that had been an omen back then? He did not know. It was no use worrying about it either. After all, he now had the problem of finding out what was really going on with Arielle, why she had run away and, above all, why she had been so nasty to him. I wonder if Yvonne had something to do with it? It was getting weirder and weirder.

Paul turned off the shower, got out and dried himself. Then he looked at the clock. Ouh, he had to hurry....

"Get a move on, you lame ducks, this is worse than herding a sack of fleas!", Till exclaimed, as one by one the Rammstein gentlemen traipsed leisurely from the hotel towards the bus.

Udo, their bus driver, had been awake for hours and had been waiting patiently for them. By now it was almost noon and still, apart from Till, the other gentlemen did not come out of the crease.

Richard somehow couldn't part with his bed bunny from last night, which Till couldn't understand at all. Since when had Mr Kruspe been in such a mood? Was it because of Hamburg or did he finally want to have a more normal relationship with a woman again?

It would be really nice, because all this teenager behaviour of his was getting on Till's nerves. They were all in their 50s, so it was possible to act a bit more sedate.

Well, that had never been Till's motto, exactly, with the emphasis on BEING, but especially after the break-up with Sophia he realised that he was not free from worrying about his age.

And of course, Till didn't really understand why Richard had broken up with Margaux. This woman was simply incredible. Beautiful, intelligent and could handle him like no other.

And his little daughter was also enchanting, Richard adored her, but since Margaux lived most of the time in New York, where Richard had also lived for 11 years, Maxime was constantly passed back and forth from the USA to Germany. That couldn't be good for such a tender girl in the long run.
But hey, that was Richard's business. There was so much Till didn't have to understand.

"I'll be back on Sunday, sweetie, like I promised you. Paul has to go back to Hamburg too, he's got something to sort out there," he explained to the delicate and incredibly good-looking brunette at his side and lovingly breathed a little kiss on her hair.
On her hair? Till thought he had made a mistake.
That's the kind of thing you only do with your daughter or mother. Hm, very strange.
Was Richard supposed to show something like wisdom in his old age after all? No, no, contrary to his previous thoughts, he could not believe that with the best will in the world.

The brunette waved at Richard and Richard disappeared into the bus with a kiss in her direction.
Good, at least one on the bus.

Till felt like he was in a panopticon. The next to arrive, and at a very leisurely pace, was Schneider.

On the phone, as usual, of course with his wife. At least that's what Till assumed. But he could also purr, my face. Till grinned to himself. They were quite a group, man, man, man. And they had been for decades. Schneider nodded to Till and disappeared into the bus.

Okay, the second flea inside the band bus. Could only get better.

In the meantime, he and Udo had put the two men's suitcases into the luggage compartment of the bus.

Till liked doing that, he needed something to work on with his hands every now and then. He had to use his strength, he liked to lend a hand. Even if it was only suitcases that had to be stowed away.

The musicians' instruments had been on their way to Berlin for a long time, they had been loaded into an unbelievable 50 trucks together with all the stage equipment and carted off towards the capital early this morning.

Flake and Olli stormed out of the hotel almost in step.
Flake was as excited as ever. He gesticulated wildly and argued with Olli, who, also as usual, gave very calm answers and helped Flake into the bus.

"Hello, Till. Sorry, we didn't even register you!" they both apologised at the same time, still completely out of breath.
Till just grinned at them.

Now they were only waiting for one - the smaller, but actually also more punctual of the two guitarists.
Paul.

Chapter Text

Till looked impatiently at his watch. Where was Paul? Very unusual. He was always reliable.

He nervously lit a cigarette and kept looking in the direction of the hotel. Man, where was he?

Richard came out of the bus at that moment to light a cigarette as well. He also looked impatiently in the direction of the hotel.
"Where's the little guy?" he and Till wondered.

At the same moment, a haggard guitarist came stumbling out of the hotel, dragging his huge suitcase behind him.
"Man, where are you? You're the last one!", Till got excited and threw away his smoked cigarette.

"Yeah, man, I've got a room booked for Sunday. And for Scholle, too. Nobody remembers but me."
Richard shrugged his shoulders guiltily in the bus doorway and grinned and breathed a toneless "Thank you" in Paul's direction.

Udo wordlessly took the suitcase from Paul, and the shorter man turned, out of breath, to Till, who was still leaning against the bus like a head teacher who has to get his sheep in the dry.

"Why do you need a hotel room again? And Scholle too?" asked Till good-humouredly, grinning broadly and knowingly all over his face.

"That's none of your business, Till. Private business!" came from Richard, who quickly ducked back into the bus.
Till stuck his tongue out at him, put his arm around Paul and pulled him along to the bus.
"Now, now!" Loudly he called to Udo "All aboard, ready to go, Master!"
Udo gave a brief nodding wave, got behind his steering wheel and started the Nightliner.

None of them saw the young woman leaning behind the corner of a house, watching the bus drive away and sighing softly.
"So long, handsome, see you Sunday." she whispered softly to herself, then turned abruptly and walked down the street, past the little pub where she worked, to her front door, which was not far from the pub. It was exciting to meet a well-known star and realise that they were so different from what they did on stage.

Paul didn't know that she didn't have far to go to her workplace, but they weren't there yet.
Men didn't always have to know everything right away. It was good that he had booked a hotel room, even for his buddy.
Then he hadn't lied when they had said goodbye.

Jenny was looking forward to Sunday and couldn't wait for him to get back to her that he had arrived safely in Berlin.
She realised that she had a bit of a crush on the smart, good-humoured musician and had been more than pissed off when his ex had acted like that in the pub the night before. One day she would find out what had really happened or was still happening.

She felt incredibly sorry for him because, even though he was well-known and a rock star, she had been able to get to know an incredibly human side of him.
How he had tried to hide his tears from her.
He was just so sweet and loving in his whole way. For the life of her, she could not imagine that this man could be hard and cold as ice.
She wasn't into that kind of thing anyway. It was the mixture that made it, as it usually did. He could be a bit of a man, but not a rough guy who didn't care about his better half's feelings.
She thought his colleague at the mike was more like that - but that's where she was wrong, Jenny would be allowed to find that out.
Till was an animal on stage, but in private life he was a completely different person - human, unbelievably helpful, gentle and always with a crude joke on his lips...

***

"I know you're cheating, Scholle, don't argue with me!" came an angry voice from the back corner of the bus. They sat together and played cards. Olli stifled a grin and leaned back. Till and Flake looked more than innocent and Schneider pinched Richard's thigh under the table. He grinned smugly as he did so.

Paul threw his playing cards on the table, stood up and wanted to take a powder. "Wait a moment, Paulchen. We don't give up that easily here. Sit down, reshuffle your cards and let's move on!", Till simply pulled him back onto the bench.

"But Scholle cheats all the time. I'm not in the mood for it," Paul defended himself and tried to tear himself away from Till. Then Richard came to life. He showed his paper.

"Well, if someone is cheating, it's probably someone else. Not me." He remained calm and looked Paul straight in the face with his grey eyes. Paul looked at him, then at the others, each in turn. They all made a poker face. Only Schneider's eyes twitched. Ha, it was him. Good Christoph. Otherwise he wouldn't know what to do, but here he was ripping off his friends at a poker game. That couldn't be true!

"Schneider? What are you looking at? It was you. Wasn't it? It's unbelievable, otherwise you wouldn't hurt a fly, but here you're coldly ripping off your colleagues. I don't believe it!", Paul continued to complain.

Schneider remained calm, but the corners of his eyes continued to twitch. Paul looked straight at him, putting on his worst look, which he really couldn't, and came closer and closer until Schneider relented. "Okay, okay, okay. You're right. I did it." Schneider slapped his cards on the table and stood up abruptly from the table.

"But why, hey? Schneider, stand still, I'm talking to you!" Paul followed Schneider and caught him by the tail of his shirt. Schneider tried to tear himself away, but Paul held him tight. The others watched the two of them silently as they argued. Then they shook their heads and continued to play without a word.

Paul, on the other hand, ran after Schneider until they were almost through the whole bus, and when they had almost reached the bus driver, Schneider sat down on Till's bunk, who usually slept in the front. He looked down at the floor and was completely absorbed.

What was wrong with him now? First he cheated and then he went on the pity tour? No, no, Paul couldn't believe it. He sat down next to the drummer. Then he noticed that Schneider had tears streaming from his eyes. What was wrong with him? Since when did Schneider start crying like a girl all of a sudden?

"Hey, Schneider. It's all right, I'm not like that. What's wrong?" Paul put an arm around Schneider's shoulders and leaned his head against Schneider's. Schneider sobbed silently. Schneider sobbed silently, wiped the tears from his face and looked directly at Paul.

"Ulrike has someone else. I found out today from a friend. She was seen in a clear pose." Schneider's eyes narrowed and his mouth pinched.

"Please what? That can't be true. And you didn't notice anything? Why do all the women run away? What did we do to make them all not want to go?" Paul was really shocked. Especially with Schneider, it had all started more than well and had been like a unit for the last few years. He couldn't imagine him without Ulrike for the life of him. It was as unimaginable as him without Arielle.

"Please Paul, don't tell the others yet. I don't want the rest of the tour to be messed up. I'll try to get some sleep, even if it's in the middle of the day. Okay?", Schneider asked him to keep his mouth shut, which Paul admittedly found difficult, but he promised his friend.

"Sure. Nobody learns it!" With that, he pulled an imaginary zip over his lips and patted Schneider's shoulder once more. Then he stood up and walked back towards his colleagues.

"So, made up with Schneider again? Where did you leave him?" asked Richard. Paul sat down without a word and just told them that Schneider had gone to lie down because he was probably not feeling well. Something with his stomach. The others swallowed it. Thank God for that.

The rest of the trip passed without any interpersonal incidents. But Paul still couldn't play poker, Olli was the uncrowned king. No wonder, he usually didn't talk much and could hide his emotions very well. The best prerequisite for poker.

***

Back in Berlin, Paul stood at his front door with a stumbling heart. Next to him, leaning against the wall of the house, Richard, who lived not far from him, was lighting a cigarette.
"It's funny, isn't it?", Richard asked him.
"Yes, somehow quite strange. You come home and you know there's only an empty flat waiting for you. But there's no life in it any more. Will you come upstairs with me? I'm kind of afraid of being alone," Paul answered.
Richard just nodded.

He quickly got his things out of the taxi, went to his flat and put his suitcase down. Then he had walked with Paul after paying the taxi, and now they were standing in front of the house as if they were total strangers here.

Wordlessly, he grabbed Paul's suitcase and Paul unlocked the front door. Thank God the lift was on the ground floor and so they could go up to the 3rd floor without a word. Paul unlocked his home and they slowly entered. In the meantime, it had become even emptier, there was really nothing left here to remind them of Arielle and their time together. He had hoped for a letter, an explanation, but after that performance last night, he knew that was it - for good!

"Well, Paul, I guess that's it for good," Richard said.
Paul dropped onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands. The drive from Hamburg to Berlin had actually been a lot of fun, except for the realisation about Schneider's marriage, but now he was really feeling the tension of the last few hours.

He was still trying to pull a handkerchief from somewhere in the expanse of his jacket, but the tears just flowed away, between his fingers and Richard sat down next to him, took him in his arms and put his head against his.

"Oh Paule, I'm so sorry for you, you really don't deserve this."
He stroked his arm gently.

"Gosh, if only I knew what I did wrong, I just don't get it."
Paul sniffled.
"How am I supposed to get under my daughter's nose? She assumes that everything is right and in order with us. You don't want your parents to split up when you're twenty. Especially not with such a shitty mud fight."

He angrily wiped the tears from his face. Richard looked at him in amazement.
"What mud fight?" he asked in amazement.
Holy shit, Richard didn't know anything about Arielle's appearance in the pub, he had already disappeared with his flame towards the hotel.

"She was there yesterday!" Paul answered meekly.

Richard looked at him, startled, and drew in his breath noisily.
"How, who was there and where?"

Paul was annoyed, also by Richard's ignorance, although he couldn't help it.

"Man, in a pub last night, Arielle was also there with a guy she seems to have hooked up with. I have no idea.
Richard sat down next to Paul, perplexed, and took a deep breath.

"What? That can't be true! Especially in THE pub of all places? No, of course. There's only one in St. Pauli. And only one town where you and Arielle can appear together," Richard mused to himself.
"Paul, that's no coincidence, I don't believe it. There seems to be some really bad shit going on."

Paul stared ahead. Whatever it was, he was going to find out, and then mercy on her. He wouldn't put up with it! Never again would he put up with anything like that!

"Let me ask you something else. Have you called Jenny yet to tell her you landed safely in Berlin?" Richard asked.
Paul was startled, he had completely forgotten. No wonder, he'd been almost permanently up a creek since the whole thing.
"Nah, I haven't yet."

Richard's face spoke volumes. Paul looked for his mobile phone and dialled Jenny's number. He let it ring, but she didn't answer. Strange. He left her a voicemail and put the phone aside again.
"Don't answer it. Great," Paul grumbled. Richard, however, reassured him.
"Don't panic, kid, maybe she didn't hear or is busy. Maybe."

Hopefully she was just busy or hadn't heard it. Paul was starting to worry again. It drove him crazy that he was such a head person. Especially in interpersonal matters, he just couldn't be as easy-going as he usually was.

"All right? Can I leave you alone now? I also have to report to my acquisition and some things are on the schedule," Richard grinned.

"Nah, all good. No topic. You go ahead. We'll talk on the phone."
Richard rose nodding, hugged the smaller boy tightly and left the flat.

Chapter Text

He had to distract himself, somehow. He started unpacking his clothes and throwing them into the washing machine. And he also desperately needed to eat something now. He looked in the fridge, sure, empty. So he left the washing machine running, grabbed some money and a bag and went down to the shopkeeper he trusted. The little corner shop was ideal for him, one house down and perfectly adequate for his needs.

"Hey, Paul, will we see you again?" the owner greeted him cheerfully. "Were you on tour again with your boys?" he asked, continuing to stock the shelves.

"Yes, I was. Now I've got a week off and then I'll get back to it," Paul answered him and looked around the small shop.
He packed himself small things, because he was only there for two days, then he wanted to go back to Hamburg. When he thought about it, his heart beat a few beats faster. He grinned and went to the cash register to pay.

"Well, master, that's not much. But if you're going to be travelling again soon, you won't need so much, will you?" the man behind the counter grinned and collected the things.

"That's right. Thank you and see you again soon," Paul said goodbye and left the shop.

Once back at his flat, he tried Jenny again. After the second ring, she finally answered.

"Hey, my beautiful rock star. Arrived well in Berlin?" Her dark voice reached Paul's ears like a balm. Even on the phone he was as excited as on his first date.

"Yeah, I am. The trip was reasonably relaxed, only Schneider, the stupid bastard, really screwed up at poker, you wouldn't believe it. And then he didn't want to admit it, but I tackled him until he finally did. And then I could talk to him again."

He paused for a moment, thinking about the fact that nothing was really right with Schneider any more. What was all this big shit? He cleared his throat and spoke on quickly. "Hold on, sweetie, but even with him not everything is as it should be."

Paul looked thoughtfully at his television.

"Really? What the hell is going on with you? First with your ex, then with your drummer, who you always assumed was OK. Not the best idea from his wife to leave him."

Paul nodded, until it occurred to him that she couldn't see it at all.

"Paul, are you still there?" asked Jenny from the receiver.
"Yes I am."
She didn't know him that meekly.

"Okay, but you don't want to talk about it right now, I take it?" she asked on the other end of the line. Paul fussed again.

"No, I think I'll tell you about it some other time, in person. Here in my flat it's so cold and impersonal. All alone in the flat, it's really hard."

He didn't want to come across as whiny, but the fact alone was getting him down.

"I'm sure you are. But you'll be back here on Sunday, right?" Jenny sounded rather tense.

"Of course, I promised you that. The rooms are already booked at the hotel, I did it as soon as I left," he replied.

"How nice. Tell me, isn't the appointment with your daughter today? Where you were going to tell her everything?" Jenny continued to ask.

"That too. I still don't know how to tell her. That whole thing is a big fucking mess."

"That's true. But you'll manage. My thoughts are with you, please always remember that, even though we've only just met," she breathed into the phone.

Paul realised that this turned him on completely. The fact that a person who was actually a stranger seemed so familiar to him and that he had no inhibitions about telling her these very intimate things was kind of awesome. He had fallen in love, clearly. The butterflies in his stomach were already starting to dance again and he was looking forward to Sunday like a little child.

"Thank you, sweetie. I've got a lot to prepare, I haven't seen my daughter in what feels like ages." He didn't really want to cut her off like that, so he breathed another "I'm so looking forward to seeing you!

She laughed into the phone and sent an audible smooch straight into the ether. He swallowed sheepishly, but hung up happily.
Oh yes, it was so nice when feelings were reciprocated. Paul was floating through his flat just a few inches off the ground, finally able to block out all this crap with his ex-wife.

He had to hurry a little. He cleaned out his washing machine and hung up the laundry. Then he quickly dashed into the shower, got dressed and packed the bottle of wine. A quick look in the mirror, well, that was all in order. He didn't have to appear as a rock star at his daughter's, he could even appear in jogging trousers. He was just a father there. Then he locked the flat door and took the lift to the underground car park where his car had been parked for weeks.

Berlin's city traffic was once again unbearable, a theatre of war as it was written in the book. He either stood in traffic jams for hours, because of course no one had learned the zip procedure in driving school, when the road narrowed, the idiots sped like there was no tomorrow or carried their cars around the corner.

Completely annoyed, he arrived at his daughter's house where there was relaxed parking. Another issue. At his place in Friedrichshain there were never really any parking spaces. With his jeep, even large parking spaces were sometimes a problem. He was so glad that he had an underground parking space. Without it, he would have despaired every time.

He parked and locked his car. Leisurely he strolled across the street to the front door and rang the bell.

"Yes?" came from upstairs. "It's me, your father!" He mimicked the sound of Darth Vader from „Star Wars“. She giggled and pressed the buzzer. Apparently his good humour had returned to him.

Reaching the top, he hugged his little girl tightly and pressed a big kiss on her cheek.
"Ewww, tell me, what's wrong with you? So needy for leaning today? Aren't you usually?" she asked with a laugh and pulled him into the flat with her. At the moment they were also alone, her two flatmates had decided to spontaneously fly to Paris for the weekend. That way she could talk to her father undisturbed.

There was a tempting smell of food. Paul sniffed and was about to run into the kitchen when his daughter stopped him. "Stop! First take off your shoes and jacket, then you can go into the hallowed halls!"

"Yes, yes. What are you young vegetables so petty about, huh?" He looked around, where in every corner something was hanging or stored that didn't really belong there. He grinned. "Girls' flat-sharing, I should have known!"

"Wait... it's guaranteed to look worse in a boys' flat, isn't it?", Lilly put him in his place.

"Well, Flake and I are doing alright. But ask Scholle, Schneider or Olli, it's probably different with the three of us," he grinned to himself.

Nevertheless, he dutifully took off his shoes and jacket and curiously followed her into the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" He tried to open a saucepan, but forgot the pot holder. "Ouch, man!" wailed Paul.

"Why are you so curious, Dad? Sit down and let me do it. Did you bring the wine?" He nodded and went into the hall again to get the wine he had put on the shoe cupboard.

They sat comfortably with pasta and red wine. Paul ate as if he hadn't eaten for days. Well, it really wasn't that much. After the whole shock, he just hadn't been able to eat much. And he felt comfortable with his daughter and didn't have to reckon with his wife - or should he say ex-wife? - would suddenly stand in front of him like a furious woman and smack him down, as she had done in the little pub in Hamburg.

His daughter licked her fork and now looked at him quite seriously.
"So Dad, what's going on? Why were you so weird on the phone?" she started to question him.

Paul fumbled, not knowing how to begin. And above all, where?
"Well, it's not so easy to explain now."
He looked down in embarrassment, ashamed of his failure. But was it really HIS failure? Or was he just telling himself that again?

"What, Papa, what is not easy to explain? Jeez, don't make me beg you like that! You wanted to talk to me. Now please talk too. And in plain language. What happened?"

Paul got up and went to the balcony. There he hastily lit a cigarette. He couldn't help it, he already felt like Richard, who was almost invisible without a fag. Actually, he had more or less stopped smoking, but since this thing with Arielle, everything was different.

He took a deep breath as his daughter came after him with a blanket over her shoulders and sat down on one of the two small chairs. He sat down facing her devotedly.

"Your mother ran away. That's what's going on!“ he began quietly. He didn't dare look at Lilly, he was really scared of her reaction.

"Please WHAT? Mum has run away? From your shared flat? Just like that? Why would she do that?"

She simply couldn't comprehend it at all. This new situation was more than a mystery to her. Her parents had always been the happy family, she had had a great childhood and youth and never had to do without anything. Love was shown to her from both sides, and lots of it. So much, in fact, that sometimes, especially during puberty, she was totally annoyed by the constant petting her parents gave her, and was also teased in her class because she wasn't allowed to do a lot of things, especially during the time when people were always hanging out at the disco.

She always had to be home by twelve at night at the latest. And if she wasn't, her mother was the one who got on the nerves of all the relatives and her classmates and their parents until she showed up at some point.

Once her mother really did stand behind the flat door with a carpet beater from the old East to spank her. But she didn't use it. Instead, her mother was so relieved when she finally appeared that she took her in her arms without a word and cried with relief. She hadn't understood that then, of course. Today, somehow she did.

And even though her father was often on the road with his band, of course, and her mother had also returned to her job in the last few years, she had never had the feeling that her parents didn't care about her. And when she couldn't help it, she often stayed with her aunt, her mother's sister.

Which wasn't so bad, because she got along great with her cousin and her big brother. Back then, when they were younger, they experienced so many funny things, it was very cool. She grew up more as an only child, although she has an older half-brother. Emil.

She continued to ponder. She hadn't seen him for ages either, she really had to call him again. Family was important, even if it wasn't easy sometimes.

Nevertheless, she was glad to finally escape her parents' house and do her own thing. She had been looking for a suitable flat-share for a long time, which wasn't so easy in Berlin. Her parents had been so excited when it finally worked out. She just wasn't ready for her own flat. She needed some life around her. After all, she was only 20.

She looked at her father again, who was smoking gloomily and looking at the front of the house across the street.

Chapter Text

She put her hands on her father's and stroked them lightly. "Dad, that's not true, is it? Why did mummy run away? Can you make sense of it? Did something go wrong between you, did you have a fight? Or worse, did you cheat on her?" she continued to ask her father.

Paul looked at her, startled.
"No, neither." He pointed both thumbs at himself.
"And of course I didn't cheat." The emphasis was now on the word "I".
Startled, his daughter looked at him. She was about to reply when he interrupted her by sputtering out the next sentences.
"Hey, little girl, what do you think of me? You know very well that I'm not like that. I really don't know either."

He thought carefully about whether he should tell her about Hamburg, about Arielle's appearance, about the man who was apparently now at her side and her new man. How it sounded, her new man! He slightly mouthed off.
And also of Jenny. Would she be able to cope with it all, so much happening at once?

"But, if you didn't cheat, then it must have been mum? Really? I can't imagine that for the life of me!" she replied incredulously. "You've always been a good team for so many years. You can't just throw it all away from one moment to the next."

Yes, that was true. Paul saw it the same way, but since Arielle had apparently made her final decision, he could only detect absolute anger about it and resignation in himself.
"That's just the way it is, I saw her with the other one!"

Now it was out and he could no longer go back. Perhaps it was just as well that he came completely out with the truth. Eventually his little girl would find out anyway.
The whole drama.

And also what had happened in the little pub in Hamburg, namely that he had met Jenny and fallen in love.

He grinned slightly.

Yes, he had indeed fallen in love. Just the thought of Jenny put him in a really good mood from one moment to the next. He loved her manner, he loved her face, the dark voice, her understanding of his predicament, his job, how tenderly and naturally she treated him as if they had known each other forever. He just loved all that about her.

And he dreaded thinking about the fact that the tour would continue for another three weeks. After that, they had some time off, but in spring they were off again and then really far away, to Mexico, the States and Canada.

It was all still so fresh and he didn't want to destroy the initial magic of a new love. But he couldn't just give up his job either, he loved it far too much for that.
He continued to think.

Maybe he could fly Jenny in now and then, he would have to talk to her about it and of course to the management and his colleagues if that was even okay. Although, when he thought about it, Arielle had also been there many times, or the other partners of his colleagues and those of the crew.

But everything had become really complicated and he hated that. As I said, he was in favour of clear relationships. But apparently nothing had been clear in his life for a long time, and he had noticed it far too late.

He stubbed out his cigarette and immediately lit another one. His daughter looked at him a little surprised, but said nothing.

"You know, I would never have found out as long as I've been on tour with the boys if Mrs Meissner hadn't called me and asked if my wife was on tour. She was quite perplexed, too."
Paul swallowed, he was still totally embarrassed. But he kept talking.
"And then I went to Berlin during the tour with flags flying, begged the management and Till to give me two days off to sort things out somehow. They let me get away with it.

Paul's daughter really suffered with his words. What had her father had to go through? That was tough. When you were on tour like that, he had once told her, you were like in a bubble, you only had thoughts about the performance and everything that happened around it, including all those meet-and-greets, autograph sessions and after-show parties. You couldn't think about anything else. And it was exactly in such a situation that what really none of them would have ever thought happened.

"And then you drove all the way to Berlin and back again? Dad, something else could have happened in your condition. There are quite a few idiots on the road."

Paul nodded sadly and continued.

"No, on the way back Till picked me up, I wouldn't have made the trip, not even nervously. Anyway, it's a miracle that nothing more happened with the speeding to Berlin, I don't want to know if there are still any parking tickets, I didn't pay attention to any speed limits. I didn't care."

He took another deep breath and quickly continued.

"Well, then you come home to an empty, cold flat and you know that's it. It was tough, and then I went back on tour with Scholle. He tried to comfort me as best he could. He spent one night in my hotel room in Hamburg. You know him, he's kind of a sweetheart."

His daughter could only confirm that, even if Richard sometimes came across as a vain fop, he was quite different from what most people thought, just like everyone else in the band. They were down-to-earth and very friendly people, contrary to their hot and very provocative stage show. The stage and everything that went with it was a completely different world from the one that was private.

Paul noticed how he was slowly talking himself into a frenzy and also those stupid tears started to burn in his throat again.

"Yes, and then?" his daughter asked quietly, stroking her father's hand again.

"Scholle and I asked Till if we could get a car and went to the Baltic Sea. Scholle went, I couldn't have done it. It was really nice there, I hadn't been there yet. Scholle told me I had to get out and clear my head, but it only partly worked. Unfortunately." He smiled slightly.

"I believe you. But to the Baltic Sea? Where did you go? Did you go to your favourite island of Rügen again with a side trip to Hiddensee? But Rügen is a bit further away from Hamburg, isn't it?"

"No, we went to Timmendorfer Strand. It's not that far from Hamburg. But just don't come with the eastern East Baltic, you know?"

He grinned and thought wistfully of Hiddensee and the wonderful time he had spent there in his youth and also with his family in the little free time he had. He swallowed again and cleared his throat.

"Yes, it was really nice there," he repeated absently. "But there's still something you don't know. It happened the night before, before Scholle and I went to the sea and afterwards."

His daughter's eyes widened, she looked at him questioningly and he became frightened. Now he had to confess, no matter what happened then. She would definitely be surprised how quickly he had "comforted" himself again, which he really didn't want at all. But things like that usually happened when you least expected it or when you least needed it.

He stubbed out the next cigarette in the ashtray on the balcony and noticed that the temperature was starting to get uncomfortable. He went into the living room, also took a blanket, wrapped himself in it and took the two glasses of red wine with him to the balcony. Then he sat down and began to talk.

"I know it's not what you want to hear, but after our last performance I went out for a drink on Hamburg's Kiez. I just couldn't sleep." He tried to remain reasonably calm and tell everything bit by bit.

"What? You? Alone? You want to tell me you went to St. Pauli alone and fell into the next best bar, just like that? Dad, that's not like you at all."

She was right. He didn't go to any pubs just like that, not even in Berlin, he just wasn't the type for that. And even if Till was the one who was constantly recognised everywhere, he himself didn't want to do that. He liked to mingle with his peers and of course had his say on every subject, but all alone in a pub, and in a foreign city at that? Nah, that really wasn't his thing. The one in Hamburg was a real exception.

"It's true, we were lucky that the hotel wasn't far from the neighbourhood. I only had to walk down the street and there was a small cellar bar, like the hundreds you find on the Kiez. I just wanted to have a little nightcap, that's all."

He stopped short, but his daughter was curious to know how the story continued. It was almost like a Sunday evening detective story. Despite the silly situation, she grinned.
"Go on with the story, Dad. What happened then?"

Again Paul cleared his throat and continued.

"So I went to a pub and ordered a beer. The landlord looked quite surprised when he realised that I was from Berlin. He himself comes from the capital, but probably moved to Hamburg because of love and stayed there. Well, and then his employee came out of the cellar and wanted his advice. Little girl, just imagine..."

He blushed slightly, and quickly continued before his brain changed its mind and he couldn't get his tongue out again.

"I saw her, they saw me too, and it sparked, just like that. It was just like in a film. You wouldn't believe it, but it was like that!"

Paul smiled. Phew, now it was out. He had bashfully lowered his eyes. But why? He was a grown man, she his daughter, actually shame was the wrong reaction, at least from him. He realised that a huge weight had fallen off him and looked at Lilly again.

She sat there and was just gobsmacked. His father had fallen in love after that whole shitty thing with her mother. Just like that. And he was anything but the pick-up guy.

Chapter Text

Paul just kept talking, because he didn't want to deprive her of Arielle's performance either. He started to stutter as he thought back to the shitty situation.

"It gets even better. I had a nice chat with Jenny, and..." he continued, but his daughter interrupted him.
"Jenny?"

"Yep, Jenny's the sweetie's name." He beamed all over and blushed like a young brat. Then he went on talking.
"Well, I had to go to the bathroom and when..."
He broke off and furtively wiped a tear from his eye. His daughter looked at him, startled. She hadn't seen her father this emotional in a long time. Paul stood up again and ran back into the living room. And immediately back to the balcony.

"... when I came back, there was suddenly your mother sitting at the bar with a guy I don't know. They looked very familiar and my heart stopped for a moment.

Now the tears he had been trying desperately to hold back were running. He was so embarrassed to cry in front of his daughter, but there was nothing he could do about it. She stood up, squatted down next to her father and took him in her arms.

"Oh dad, this is all not true and so unreal. Please calm down, I'm here."
With that she stroked his upper arm tenderly. Paul sniffled and would have liked to run far away, he was so embarrassed.
"Everything will be all right. You don't have to be ashamed, especially not of me." She continued to stroke him.
"Look, Daddy, nobody deserves that. Especially not you. And besides, please why was Mum in that pub of all places? Did she know you had a concert in Hamburg?"

Paul cleared his throat for what felt like the thousandth time. He bravely tried to fight back the tears, but no chance, they just kept running.

"Nah, I don't think so..." That was all he could manage.

"Well, this is all very strange. And please, since when does Mum go to pubs and then with random guys too?", Lilly asked him empathetically.

Paul sniffled audibly and searched desperately for a handkerchief. When he couldn't find one, he wiped his nose on his sleeve and the tears from his face. Then he tried to continue talking normally.

"I don't... I don't think she's bothered with it yet," he tried to pick up the thread again.
"And she doesn't know which hotel we stayed in. And that I wandered into the pub at night. She couldn't have known that. I assume it was a crazy coincidence. Although, as we both know, there are no coincidences. I keep racking my brains over it and come to no conclusion. And I don't understand, what did I do wrong?

He got up again and took his glass with him. His daughter also went into the living room after him and quietly closed the balcony door. They sat down again opposite each other on the armchair and couch and she poured them more wine.

"Can you really not understand? Did she see you or did you go up to her and ask her why she pulled all that crap?" his little girl continued to ask, taking a sip of wine.
What the hell had happened? Surely one didn't leave one's husband after more than 20 years just like that? Especially not since it had always seemed that everything was normal and loving with her parents.
Paul shrugged his shoulders and took a big sip of wine himself.

"I hid for a while and sat down in the darkest corner of the pub. Jenny was surprised that I didn't come back to her. Then I watched her mother from the corner. Richard was already there with his flame," Paul continued.

"Richard?"

"Yes, he was so kind and came with me, because I would never have dared to go there again after I had left so quickly the night before. You know him, he had picked up some nice stuff and dragged it back to the hotel." Paul smiled apologetically.

"Dad, we don't see you for a few weeks and then everything goes down the drain. I can't really believe all this."

Paul sat down next to his daughter and stroked her hair like a little child. She in turn took him in her arms and lovingly comforted him. Again, Paul was in tears and his daughter was sniffling softly.

Then Paul straightened up.

"It can't go on like this! I have to do something. I have to find out what's going on. No one can tell me that's all that's left of our marriage." He sat up straight and drank the rest of his wine glass.

"That's how I see it too, Dad. In any case, we have to find out why my mother ran away. And above all, what's that guy she was hanging out with in that Hamburg bar? Why was she in Hamburg in the same bar where you happened to be? And is this guy her new lover or is he holding her with something?" his daughter continued to ponder.

"I don't believe he has her in his hands. She seemed relaxed and happy and laughed a lot that evening." Sadly, he stroked his face to wipe away the remaining traces of tears.

"True again. But we can go round in circles all we want. In any case, I need to talk to Mama. Maybe she'll tell me the truth," she replied to him.

"Do you really think she'll talk to you? About this subject? She seemed so cold that evening, so detached, as if I were some guy she knew years ago. There was nothing left of love or the fact that we are still married. Like from another life, you see? Very strange."

"We'll see about that."
His daughter dug her mobile phone out of her pocket and dialled her mother's number. After the second ring, she actually answered.

"Hi Mum, how are you?" His little girl started talking into the mobile. She had put it on speaker so Paul could hear everything. His wife seemed smooth and somehow neutral on the phone.
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" she answered her.

"Well, I haven't heard from you in a while, so I wanted to ask how things are going. What's Dad doing, by the way? Is he on tour right now or can you put him on. I have a question for him."

She put her index finger to her mouth so Paul wouldn't accidentally croak in between.

"Sorry, he's out with the boys," came the prompt reply, but again, nothing sweet to say to her daughter, much as if she were remote-controlled.

Paul shook his head in disbelief. This couldn't be true. At least with their daughter he would have thought she reacted normally. This was getting weirder and weirder.

"Okay. When is he coming back and when will we see each other again?" his daughter continued.

A soft snort was heard on the other end. "I don't know, I don't have the tour schedule in my head." She looked rushed. "You, I have to hang up now, I have another appointment. I'll see you around, yeah. I'll be in touch."

She had hung up before Paul's daughter could even say anything. Dumbfounded, she looked at her phone. She had never seen her mother like that. She almost looked as if she had been brainwashed. Paul also looked rather crestfallen.

"It's getting more and more beautiful. I'm telling you, cold as a dog's snout. That's exactly what she was like in Hamburg. Nothing nice about a woman any more, as if her life with me had never been."

She stood up and paced like a tiger in a cage.
"I don't know what to make of it. I don't understand my own mother any more. I've never seen her so cold and dismissive. Mum was always just the opposite. She was always warm and had kind words to spare. I just felt like there was a completely different woman on the phone." She shook her head in disbelief.

"That's what I'm saying. No, little girl, there's something very wrong. I'm just wondering how we're going to find out what happened."

"Dad, you of all people have the best connections. Have you ever thought about calling in a private detective?"

Paul looked at Lilly in disbelief. He hadn't thought of that at all. Wasn't that a bit far-fetched? His wife had apparently cheated and left the flat they shared and their life together. What was the point of a private detective?
"Hm, I don't know. Isn't that a bit far-fetched?", Paul asked.

"No, I don't think so at all. Mum's behaviour is very strange. Of course, when you leave someone, you don't react the same way as before. But she was so strange with me, too. Didn't Till hire someone when things went wrong for him with Sophia? Surely he can help you there, right?" She looked at him expectantly.

Paul thought about it. It wasn't such a bad idea, actually, his daughter's idea. Till usually knew what to do in such matters.
"That's a possibility. I'll call you right away, what we have, we have." He also pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and dialled Till's number.

Till answered after the first ring.
"Well Paulchen, what's up?", Till's sonorous voice was heard from Paul's mobile. Paul immediately noticed how only Till's voice soothed him to such an extent that he became completely relaxed. Till had always had that down. When everything seemed to end in chaos, you could rely on the big man. He had advice on almost every subject. He was like a big calm rock that you could rely on one hundred percent.

"Till, I have a new problem. It's still about my wife," Paul answered him.

"Oh, boy, you don't get any peace, do you? Do you really want to talk about it on the phone? Why don't you come here? Maybe I can help you," came Till's reply.

"Yes, I'd love to. But not until tomorrow, I'm with my daughter right now, it'll be too late."

"Oh, well, give her my love then." You could hear Till grinning on the phone, then he continued.
"Hm, okay, tomorrow then. Shall I cook something?" Till was a great cook. Paul agreed to show up at Till's the next day. Thoughtfully, he hung up. Now Till had to bail him out again, it was becoming a habit. He was so glad that he had such friends.

"All right, I'll sort it out with Till tomorrow. So, now we'll do the dishes and then I have to go to bed, I'm dog-tired. And on Sunday we're off to Hamburg again."
He grinned and rubbed his hands together.

"Oh man, I'm so happy for the little one there. I think I've been hit hard. I feel like I'm 15. The feeling for someone never ends, you can grow old like Methuselah. But I'm still a bit afraid of it. After all, I know the sweetie from a pub. I don't know if it's all so good."

Paul became uncertain again, but his daughter smiled and put an arm around her father. Together they went into the kitchen.

"You'll do it, Dad. You've got a lot of nerve. That Jenny can't resist your affectionate manner."

"You mean? I'm usually good-humoured, but when it comes down to it, I'm little with a hat, as they say."
He became thoughtful, then looked around the kitchen.
"Wow, it's a mess in here, kiddo.“
His daughter grinned and placated him.
"Nah, leave it, Dad, I'll do it. We have a dishwasher. I'll keep my fingers crossed that Till can help you. Please let me know if you have any news, will you?"
She smiled to herself.
"And for Sunday, have a good trip and enjoy it. After all that business with Mum, maybe this Jenny is just what you need right now. You know, as an antidote."

"You know, on the one hand I'm so angry that your mother is putting on such a show and no one knows why. On the other hand, I'm totally in love with a woman I've only known for a few hours. That's not normal. Maybe it's all happening too fast."

"Oh, Dad, these things happen. You didn't expect it. Who could have known that you, of all people, would wander into a bar alone on the Hamburg neighbourhood and then meet a woman who totally blows your mind in this whole shitty situation? That always happens when you don't expect it. You'll do it. Anyway, I want to know everything that's going on between you and this Jenny, and maybe you'll introduce me to her sometime, huh?"

She grinned at him. Paul blushed like a tomato, said a hasty goodbye and was already through the door.

Chapter Text

Paul had got up early, he couldn't sleep anyway. On the one hand, his broken marriage was still constantly on his mind, but on the other hand, he was looking forward like hell to seeing Jenny in Hamburg. Since then he had a constant tingling in his stomach and on the other hand he felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what the background to his wife's departure was. He fervently hoped that Till could help him.

He didn't have far to go to Till, so he had grabbed the bike. Driving to Till was pure pollution. He only lived a few streets away, so he could leave his car in the underground car park and cycle comfortably. And so he didn't arrive at Till's totally annoyed, as had been the case with his daughter the day before, because as already mentioned, Berlin's city traffic was war, in the truest sense of the word.

"Hey, come on in, old man!", Till greeted him joyfully and the two embraced warmly. The tall man hugged the shorter one affectionately. When Paul had taken off his shoes and jacket, they went together into Till's cosy living room. Paul flattened himself on Till's giant sofa. Till sat down in the armchair next to it. You wouldn't believe it, but Till was cosiness personified in private. There was nothing about brute force. He may have been a tree of a guy, but he could be just as loving and gentle.

"Something to drink first, Paulchen? Coffee, tea, something alcoholic?", Till asked him.
"Yes. I'll have a coffee," he answered the singer.

Till poured two large mugs full of coffee from the thermos flask that stood prepared on the small coffee table. Paul reached for the milk and sugar. He needed it now, a little energy couldn't hurt, especially with what he wanted to ask Till.

"So, now tell me, what happened? It all sounded pretty exciting on the phone," Till began the conversation.

Paul sat up and started from the beginning. He had to swallow again and again. Till shook his head from time to time, raised his eyebrows and was completely on the point.

"Yes, and yesterday at my daughter's, we discussed whether we could possibly get something out of a private detective. You had one back then with Sophia, who then found out that she had been cheating on you for months," he concluded his report.

Till was flabbergasted. He would never have thought that Paul's wife would react so violently and, above all, so icily. He always thought everything was going smoothly with them, just like with Flake, who had been with his Jenny for what felt like a hundred years.

Yes, back then he had suffered a lot with Sophia. He had really believed that it would last longer, he had really loved this woman, but, even if he had a good contact with her again in the meantime, she was and remained a bitch. A damn pretty and clever one, but a bitch. Unfortunately, it had to be said that way.

"No problem. I'll be happy to call Mr Mueller for you. What do you want him to find out?" Till knew that once a wasps' nest had been stirred up, and apparently it had been, then things could come to light that one didn't quite have on one's mind and that one didn't really want to know. But unfortunately, his little guitarist had to go through that. It was different, but he wanted to know what had gone wrong and if Till was honest, he also wanted to know what was going on.

Because if they didn't understand the whole thing, he knew very well, his Paul would always be distracted, he would lose his innate cheerfulness. And that would be a disaster for everyone, and especially for Paul.

But he was delighted that the little boy had apparently fallen in love again. By his standards, it happened pretty quickly, but sometimes things like that just happened, there was nothing you could do about it. Sadly, he mused to himself. Yes, he would fall in love again - and really in love. All these women he met and dated from time to time were a distraction and he had had some good sex, but in the long run he wanted a woman with whom he could grow old, as silly as that sounded. He sighed audibly. Paul looked at him thoughtfully, then answered.

"Well, everything, every little thing. There must be something we've overlooked or can't grasp. It's not nice to poke around in a life like that, but it can't be helped," came the guitarist's sad reply.

Till reached for the phone and dialled the number of the private detective.
"Yes, hello, Mr Mueller, Lindemann here. I need you to do a job for me or one of my colleagues. It's about the wife of my colleague Paul Landers," Till trilled into the mobile phone. He nodded every now and then because Mr Mueller seemed to be answering and asking.
"All right, see you in a minute then."

He hung up and looked at Paul.
"Mr Mueller is coming straight to me. He'll be there in half an hour. You shouldn't discuss this sensitive subject on the phone, it's always better to do it in person."
He patted Paul encouragingly on the shoulder and finished his coffee.
"Another?" Paul nodded.

"Now it's getting serious, eh? Well, there's no way around it. Till, it's so great that you're helping me. I really don't know what else to do. It's all over my head."

"No problem, I'll be happy to do it. But tell me something else. What's going on with your conquest from Hamburg? You mentioned that there was something going on, but I want to know the details."

Till grinned mischievously at his friend. Paul grinned back.

"Didn't you get it? I've booked rooms for Richard and me in Hamburg from Sunday. In the same hotel where we stayed. I'm so excited about it, you wouldn't believe it. I feel like a hormone-addled teenager."
Paul grinned all over his face. Till too, but much dirtier than his colleague on the rhythm guitar.

"Richard too? Man, what's going on with you pretties?"

Till cleared his throat. He had heard that Paul had met someone there, he had already told him that. But he had not guessed that Richard was also a bit more serious about this Sylvie. Should Mr Kruspe finally get serious now and not just screw around at every opportunity? That would be something new and Till would be happy for Richard, especially because Richard had an attention deficit anyway.

But what he found the most intense was that Paul's wife had turned up in this very pub and had made him a scene of the very best kind. And then with another guy who was apparently more than just a good acquaintance for her.

None of this could be a coincidence!

Above all, please, since when did Paul, Paul of all people, go to a pub all by himself, and in a different city at that? Not even in Berlin did he go out much. At most, he went out for a nightcap with Richard, who lived around the corner from him, or with Flake, when he wasn't at home with his Jenny and the kids.
Well, family, which wasn't really a family any more. Paul's children were out of the house and he was alone. It was all very sad and happened so suddenly in a way that Till would never have expected. He had really thought of her differently. He thought this connection would last forever. Well, he thought wrong.

Paul was anything but a party animal, let alone a pub crawler. He was, even if most people didn't want to believe it when you played in a band like that, very down-to-earth and preferred to be with his family.
Even at the usual meet-and-greets during their tours, he preferred to hide away in secret because he just couldn't stand all that fuss from some chicks. That didn't mean he didn't have fun. He had fun every day because he was a cheerful guy and could laugh at any crap, but some chicks really overdid it, especially the ones in Russia.

Till knew that. He, too, was always the centre of attention, well, there were some really beautiful women, especially the Russian women, but they were also like his ex Sophia. Superficial and always looking for an adventure with a guy who had a lot of money and was also known as a colourful dog. You could get something out of that. Some women weren't interested in whether they invested their own feelings. They wanted someone who had money and satisfied their needs.

And when he thought about it, there wasn't just one pub in Hamburg. How did Arielle know that he would be there on that particular evening? The whole thing was very strange. Hopefully Mr Mueller could shed some light on it.

"Yes, apparently our good Richard has also been hit."
Paul had to grin when he thought of how Richard had practically eaten the girl in the pub and dragged her, like many others before her, back to the hotel. He had assumed she was just one of his hundreds of replaceable bed-bunnies. There had to be something about her that made the good guy give her a second chance and really come to Hamburg tomorrow.

"And I always thought he'd get back together with Margaux. She was a great match for him, especially because he has a child with her. But what are you going to do? It just wasn't meant to be," Till mused to himself.
He found Margaux incredibly attractive and she was just right for him, but unfortunately Richard just couldn't be faithful. Till hoped that with this Sylvie Richard's private life would finally take a calmer course. After all, Richard was no longer 20 and at some point all this fuss just seemed ridiculous.

"Yes, I think it's a pity too. Margaux is a great wife and Maxime is a great daughter. Good Richard did a great job with that. I have to say, though, that the girl from Hamburg is a real bomb. At the beginning I thought, oha, she looks good, no question, like most of the Richard girls. But probably she's just like a simple girl with curves in the right place, you know? But no, really nice and really smart. I had a really nice chat with her, there was nothing to say that she was really far down in intellect. And that Richard gets most of the women, even at the first appointment, we know that." He grinned again.

Till looked at him, impressed. But he finally wanted to know more about this Jenny.
"So, what's your acquaintance like?" he asked flatly.

Paul blushed, cleared his throat and started to tell. When he had finished, Till was even more impressed.

"Gee, Paulchen, it really got to you, didn't it?"

Paul nodded.

"But please, with all the falling in love, take care of yourself! You never know what's running around out there these days. You're known, you're famous, don't even get me started on Star, but some people take advantage of that, even if they come across as totally nice at first," he warned him forcefully.

"Till, I know that. I didn't fall on my head. I can't even believe that I got caught like that. First all this shit with Arielle and then, on top of that, an acquaintance who is apparently more to me than just a love affair in between. You know very well that I'm not like that. I could have had it so many times, but I didn't want to and couldn't, because I'm simply a loyal soul. But the woman has completely knocked me out, just like that."
Paul looked at Till transfigured.

"Paule, I hope it all works out and you don't fall on your face again. You really don't deserve it, you're such a sunshine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. But now we have to sort out the other thing first," Till said. Just then the doorbell rang.

"Ah, Mr Mueller is already here. Well, let's go then." He rose heavily from his comfortable armchair and strode to the front door.

Paul felt queasy when he thought of all the things that would come to light once this Mr Mueller started poking around in all the crap his still-wife was apparently involved in.

Chapter Text

Mr Mueller turned out to be a tall, lean man with an open but also somewhat mischievous face. But Paul had imagined the private detective quite differently. In his eyes, these guys were all a bit greasy, a bit chubby, with glasses and a fag in their mouth. In any case, not like Mr Mueller. He was pleasantly surprised.

"Have a seat. Thank you for coming by right away. The whole thing is a bit tricky. Coffee, tea, something else?", Till offered him a seat and drinks.

"Thank you, a coffee would be nice."
Mr Mueller sat down on the large sofa, Till poured the coffee and introduced Paul first.

"This is my colleague Paul Landers. It's about him and a very private and also precarious matter that should be cleared up before it all completely backfires."

Mr Mueller nodded, leaned over to Paul and shook his hand.
"Hi, Mr Mueller, my name is Paul Landers.", Paul greeted the private detective artfully. He had a tingling in his stomach, as if he were being accused, which was not at all the case. He was thinking far too much again.

Mr Mueller sipped his coffee tentatively and crossed his legs. Then he devoted himself completely to the guitarist.

"Okay, then why don't you tell me in order what happened and how I and my team can help you!" began Mr. Mueller. He had a calm, level-headed voice, free of any stress.

Paul wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers, sat bolt upright and began to tell the story. He told everything, about the beginning of his marriage, about his daughter, the good times they had all spent together in the last few years, and of course about the end and this gig in the Hamburg pub. Only one thing he left out, getting to know Jenny. He could still tell about that if it became important.

Till shook his head. It really couldn't be true. Paul had already told him a few things, but with Mr Mueller he went into a bit more detail. What had Paul had to put up with? It was time for an explanation, Till thought.

Mr Mueller nodded now and then at Paul's report and made some notes. When Paul had finished and was almost close to tears again, he put his hand on his arm.

"Don't worry, Mr Landers. We'll work it out," he promised. He felt infinitely sorry for the guitarist, he knew from publicity that he was usually cheerful and almost nothing could throw him off track. It was a tricky business, what was happening with his wife.

"Can you do anything about it? I really don't know what to do anymore. It's all such a mess, I can't understand why my wife is doing this to me. Especially after all these years. I'm not aware of any guilt. The only thing is that I wasn't at home much, just because of my job, but Arielle knew that before. She could have said something. She comes from the entertainment industry, she knows how things work. Even with all the temptations that come with our job, I've always been faithful to her. And she knew that too. But I would never have guessed that she would be a stranger.

Paul had regained his composure to some extent, he didn't want to look like a sissy in front of the strange man, he was unspeakably embarrassed. His colleagues were his best friends and also family, but he didn't really want this to be made public, it was his private shit after all.

"That's right. I'll recruit my people right away today and let you know as soon as possible if there's any news. Can I reach you or are you on tour again?" asked Mr Mueller cautiously.

"We'll be on the road for three weeks from next week Friday, then back in town for a while. You need a break from time to time, with the whole programme we're putting on as a band," Till interjected. "Besides, we're not the youngest anymore." He grinned.

Mr Mueller nodded in understanding. Paul gave him his mobile number just in case, otherwise Mr Mueller could call Till.
"For my part, I'll be in Hamburg for a few days, but I'll always have my mobile with me."

"Well then. All right, gentlemen, I'll be back. Thanks for the coffee, I'll be in touch soon."
With that, Mr Mueller got up and Till followed him out of the flat.

When he returned to his living room, he saw a slumped Paul sitting on the sofa.

"I'm telling you, Paul, it's going to be all right. Don't worry too much. Mr Mueller and his team are really good, they will find out what your wife has been up to and what dubious things she is involved in. Maybe it's harmless and you're worrying for nothing."

Till put an arm around Paul's shoulders and hugged him. Paul had tears streaming down his face. That he had to be such a wimp too, now the whole thing was starting again. What was the singer supposed to think of him? It reminded Paul of the time when Nikki had broken up with him, he had also been crying and had to fight hard not to fall into alcoholism. Flake and Alyosha, of all people, had helped him out of it, even though they both drank a lot during the Feeling B period and Alyosha, in particular, had consumed completely different things.

Till stood up resolutely.
"There, now that's good. I've prepared food, I told you I was cooking. Hungry?", Till asked his guitarist.

"Hey, Till, I can't eat anything now. I can't eat a bite," Paul replied, wrinkling his nose.

"Nothing there, now we're going to eat something! Starving yourself won't help. Let a professional sort this out and until then please concentrate on your Jenny! It's funny that she has the same name as Flake's wife. Don't you think so?", Till started a light conversation.

Paul looked at him out of wet eyes.
"You mean? I'm so looking forward to this little one, but I don't know if I can completely get the Arielle thing out of my head."

"You can, believe me. Once you're there, you'll get other ideas. Besides, you have Scholle with you, he'll distract you. You know him, the crazy noodle. And maybe the four of you could do something together, wouldn't that be nice?"

Till really tried everything to get the little guitarist's mind off things. He went into the kitchen to heat up the meal he had cooked the day before. There were roulades with red cabbage and homemade potato dumplings. So it was quite hearty, which somehow suited him. He grinned again.

"So, my best, a meal from the master himself. I hope you like it." With that he put the two plates with the food on the dining table and Paul rose from the couch.

"Oh, Till, it smells like my mother's house. I didn't know you could cook like that."

"Yes, I learned that from my mother too, old Silesian cuisine, you understand? Enjoy!" the singer grinned and shovelled his own fork full.

When the two had finished eating, Paul rubbed his stomach.
"That was really delicious. I'm glad you persuaded me to have something at my place after all. Sorry for all the complaining. I'm not usually like that, you know, but this whole thing is getting to me more than I would have thought," Paul apologised to Till.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm here for you, you know that. Always! Another nightcap, as a digestive for the meal?"

Paul didn't say no, a little liqueur wouldn't hurt, he was there by bike.
Just as Till was about to fetch two glasses and the liqueur from his bar, Paul's phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and looked at the display. Richard! Of course!

"Well, old house, what's up?", Paul asked into the receiver. He had put it on loud so that Till could listen in.

"I wanted to ask when we're leaving tomorrow. Should I drive or do you want to? It doesn't matter to me. Where are you anyway? At home?", Richard asked.

"No, I'm at Till's."
"Hey, Scholle, everything OK?", Till trumpeted.
"Yep, everything's fine. Did it work out with the private detective, have you been able to talk to him yet?" asked Richard curiously.

"Yes. I was just here with Till, in person. I had to tell him everything, it was kind of hard to dig it all up again. But I can't help it, I finally need certainty, you see?"

"No question about it, it definitely needs to be sorted out. But tomorrow we're going to Hamburg first," Richard agreed with him.

He drew out the "Hamburg" in a whisper. Paul could really imagine his smug grin. Mr Kruspe again, apparently looking forward to seeing his girl as much as he was. How did that sound, his girl? Yes, that would be nice. With Richard, too, if he finally had something steady, not always these short adventures to unload.

"So, if you don't mind, it would be nice if you went. At the moment I don't know if I'm capable of driving the 280 kilometres without building a crutch," Paul began.

"No problem, Paul. I'll drive. When can I invite you?" asked Richard again. Paul swallowed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"You know, I can't really sleep anyway. Do you want to have breakfast at my place? I could go to the bakery around the corner and get some rolls. Deal?"

"Sounds good, kiddo. About nine or later then?"
"Nine sounds great. I'm looking forward to it. See you tomorrow."
"Bye," Till called after him, but Richard had already hung up.

Paul stood up resolutely.
"Thank you, Till, for everything so far. And for the delicious meal, you can always do it again."

Till rose as well.

"Take care of yourselves, you hear? And always remember, let yourself be distracted by whatever, and please don't brood so much. It's no use at the moment! Maybe Mr Mueller or someone from his team will be in touch by next week. So please don't lose sight of your mobile phone," he admonished.

"No, that's clear. Do you think he can get something out so quickly? That would be great."

Till knew that Mr Mueller and his team were fast, precise and good. That could well be, but of course he didn't know for sure.

"That could well be. But for now, off to the beautiful Hanseatic city! And remember, you should be back in Berlin by Thursday at the latest, and we'll be heading for Prague on Friday."

"Oh yes, I'm looking forward to it. The Czechs are a loyal audience. It's almost like family."

Till grinned.
"Yes, and they have very nice ladies there. Let's see if something works out!", Till grinned slyly.

Till was very relaxed about it. He was single, so he could act differently. But was that always the solution? After all, Till was no longer the youngest, actually the oldest in the band. Well, he had to know for himself.

"You again. Yes, I know, you're really more relaxed, I can't do it. Not now anyway, and if it really turns out to be more with Jenny, I won't look at a woman any longer than necessary."

Till grinned. Yes, that was Paul. Quite down to earth and a loyal soul. Enviable. Although he could be quite a pain sometimes.

"Okay, see you then, I'll let you know when we arrive, okay?"

Till nodded.
"And greetings to Scholle." At that, he also accompanied Paul into the hallway and gave him a big hug goodbye.

Yes, Till really was the rock of the family, with him you could only feel protected, and not only because of his broad stature. He had a heart of gold, was very calm and affable in private - very different from on stage!

Chapter Text

After a rather sleepless night with confused dreams, Paul packed the last of his things into his travel bag and was just standing in his kitchen to make coffee when Richard rang the doorbell.

"Well, Paulchen, excited already?" he grinned and gave him a hug. He strode briskly into Paul's kitchen, where everything was already prepared for breakfast.

"Hmm, yummy. It's not like that with me lately either, I usually don't eat breakfast at all or quickly throw something in on my own," he said emotionlessly. Paul looked at him sadly, well, that had apparently become his theme now too. He had known for years that they ate breakfast together, even on tour they always ate breakfast together, but since his wife was gone, this normal ritual had become very different, colder, lonelier. He swallowed and forced himself to keep a normal face.

"Coffee, my best one?" he asked, therefore, trying to distract himself. Richard nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. Paul poured them two large cups full and sat down as well.

„Say, that's where you sprayed yourself. Do you think it will last until Hamburg, Scholle?“, Paul grinned at his colleague. Richard took a roll and cut it open with a smile.

"Sure, I can add more. But I want to smell good when I see my sweetie again."

Paul grinned even wider. Oh man, everything had changed. Even good Richard was trying to get his love life in order. That was finally necessary. He was already 54, after all, and he couldn't go on like this forever. It just seemed ridiculous when he hit on the young women at the concerts. It looked more like a sugar daddy. And he thought that was exactly what Richard didn't want to be in any case.

"Soft-boiled or harder?" asked Paul as he put the two eggs into the egg boiler.

"Well, I like it harder, but only in other situations. The egg can be as soft as wax, as they say." The Kruspe now again, had only the one in the head. Well, that could be something with their little trip to Hamburg.

"Scholle, you are really impossible, do you know that? Well, for my part, I don't want to do anything wrong with my sweetie. I'll take it nice and easy. And of course I'm not going to barge in and attack her," Paul answered.

"Neither am I, kid. It was just a joke. You're really sensitive right now, though."

"Yeah, are you surprised? It's no wonder with all the shit I'm going through right now," Paul replied sadly.

He had a lot to gnaw on about the whole thing and was so incredibly curious to see what this private detective would find out. What was actually going on with Arielle, why she suddenly reacted so coldly, and who was this guy? Had she forgotten all the last twenty years they had been happy together? It was not easy to forget, they had experienced so much in that time. They had become a unit, one could always rely on the other. And now, suddenly, there was nothing left, not to mention the love that had united them both.

When they had both finished breakfast, Paul grabbed his bag, looked around the apartment again to make sure he had turned everything off, and then they walked leisurely to Richard's car. They stowed the clothes in the trunk and off they went towards Hamburg.

Paul was totally excited, Richard apparently also, because he smoked even in the car permanently. Had it caught him nevertheless somehow. Paul thought it was great that his buddy was finally getting serious again.

The trip went smoothly and around 2 p.m. they checked into the hotel where they had stayed during their tour. Paul's memories came back and he smiled finely to himself.

"Have you contacted your sweetie yet?", Paul asked when Richard came over to him in the room. Richard nodded.

"So, Paulchen, I'll change now and then we can go. Did you text your sweetie too?" came the counter question from Richard.

Paul fiddled with his sweatshirt and looked crestfallen. He shook his head and looked guiltily at Richard.
"And why not, may I ask?"

"Man, I'm so excited. I don't even know where to start!", Paul answered him.

Richard took him in his arms and pressed a kiss on his hair.
"There was no need to be excited, Paule. You're not 16 anymore. The sweetie knows that we're arriving today. So, shoo, call! Immediately!"
"Yes, yes."

Paul pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Jenny's number. She answered immediately, as if she had only been waiting for it. He sat down on the sofa.

"Well, handsome man, I've been waiting for your call. Did you have a good trip to Hamburg?"

He was so glad to hear her voice, it gave him some confidence again.
"Yes, it was no problem. When can we see each other? Should we come to the pub tonight?" asked Paul.

"I thought we'd go out for dinner or something. I'm on late shift and don't start work until 9:00. I know a good Italian place, just around the corner from your hotel."

That sounded good. Italian was somehow always good.

"You’re welcome. Shall I pick you up and if so, where?", Paul asked. He grinned and Richard grinned too.

She told him that he could pick her up in front of the pub. Paul nodded, even though she couldn't see it.
"Yeah, right? Around six?", Jenny asked.

At this, he first noticed that he had not spoken, sometimes he was also too stupid. He cleared his throat sheepishly.

"That sounds good. Richard, and his sweetie are coming too if that's okay with you."

Paul looked at Richard for confirmation. Richard nodded eagerly.

"Sure, no problem, then I'll get to know the woman who had apparently managed to sweet-talk your buddy for a bit more than just one night. What's her name, anyway?" inquired Jenny.

"Sylvie is the sweetie's name. So, we have a date at six. I'm so glad to see you again, kid."
He slid excitedly back and forth on the sofa.

"Me too ... very much. See you later." Jenny sent a smooch through the ether and then hung up. Paul beamed all over his face. Then he got wide-eyed and looked bashfully at his buddy.

"Um, Richard, here we go again, what should I wear?"

Richard felt like he had to tell his son what to wear on a first date.
"Paulchen, you're really impossible, really. Just wear normal clothes, like you always do. There's no dress code at the Italian restaurant, so please."

Paul looked at Richard uncomprehendingly.
"Yes, but I don't want to sleep around like the last honk. Just look..." With that he opened his travel bag and pulled out some clothes. Richard looked at the clothes and found that he didn't look any different than he usually did.

"Here, you can wear this."
Gray sweatshirt with "Rock'n'Roll" printed on it, black jeans and black biker boots. What was Paul's problem, anyway?

" Do you think that's okay?" Since when had Paul been like that when it came to clothes? That's how he walked around most of the time.

"Yes, of course, it's okay! I'm going to go over to my place and get changed and then we can go, wiggle around a bit before we're supposed to be in front of the pub at six. Sylvie knows to get there."

Richard disappeared through the door and Paul strolled out onto his balcony for a smoke. This was becoming a habit, not that he was getting as addicted as Richard, who was almost never seen without a smoke. He sat down on one of the chairs and thought. Again, of course, about his still-wife, how nasty and hard she had been to him. It was all so fresh, just a few days ago. What had happened so far? They had even hired a private detective. Unbelievable. Until a few weeks ago, he thought his life was perfect. Sad that it all went down the drain so quickly.

What would Flake, his oldest and best friend, actually say about the whole dilemma? At the moment, only Till and Richard knew from the band. And of course his daughter. And he had to tell his son. Arielle wasn't his mother, but he had grown kind of fond of her over the years, too. He pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket and dialed Emil's number, because until Richard was done styling, that could take time.

"Hey, Dad, this is a nice surprise. We haven't heard from each other in ages. How are you doing? Are you still on tour or at home again for a change?" his son's voice sounded from the receiver.

Paul swallowed. Should he really tell him on the phone or wait until they were back home from the tour and then tell him in person? Nah, it couldn't wait. Who knows what would happen by then?

"Hey kid, I've got to tell you something that's not so great." Paul cleared his throat. "Ariel's gone." He anxiously waited for a reaction. It came, too, after silence fell on the other end.

"How did she run away? Just like that, or just out of town for a little while?"

" No, really run away. Packed her bags and took everything that was important to her. That was a few weeks ago. If our cleaning lady hadn't informed me, I wouldn't have known until I got home."

"Oh, Dad, that's really intense! Did something happen? You don't just run off without a reason, just because you were always like Latsch and Bommel? Did you fuck up?"

Paul looked at his phone, startled.
"What, me? No, of course not. She fucked up, but really!"

"How right? Come on, tell us!" his son urged him. Paul was about to start, when Emil interrupted him again.

"And does Lilly know anything about it yet?" Emil asked him.

"Yes, the little one knows. We met last Friday, I have a week off. She was completely shocked, you can believe me. And again, nothing happened from my side. Arielle is gone. Last week we had a gig in Hamburg. Afterwards I went for a drink in a pub on the Kiez."

Emil interrupted him again.
"YOU went drinking alone on the Kiez? That's something new, Dad!"

"Yes, I was, but I had to get rid of it. A day later I was there again, with Scholle."
"Okayyy, and why were you there again?" But his son could also drill. Paul wasn't sure whether he should tell Emil about Jenny yet. But he had told his daughter, after all.

"Yes, I met someone there," he said meekly.

"Oh, that's different, of course." Emil's grin could be heard through the phone. "But YOU? Meet someone so easily? Gee, Dad, you're not like that, are you? Well, with Richard I'd understand, but with you?"

"I couldn't really believe it, but it happened. Her name is Jenny and I could imagine that it could become something. I'm also in Hamburg right now, with Scholle. Richard has also met someone and apparently it will last longer than just one night."

"Well, well, well. It seems that good Richard is learning after all," came amused from his son.

"I couldn't believe that right away either, but apparently it's true. I really do not begrudge him, the girl is finally not such a simple-knitted, but quite patented. We're all going out for dinner tonight. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Sounds good, Dad. And Jenny knows what kind of job you have?" his son asked, just in case.

Paul sighed.
"Yes, she knows. Funnily enough, she recognized me right away. I always thought that the fans would recognize Till or Scholle. But me? I'm not as conspicuous as the two."

"Well, I wouldn't say that now, but apparently the woman reacted quite well. But tell me, what else happened to Arielle?"

"You won't believe it, but she showed up in a pub in Hamburg, where Scholle and I were, that very evening. That's no coincidence. You know there are none."

"No, I can't imagine that either. And what did she say when she saw you there? She would never have expected that, would she?"

Paul swallowed again and had to think about that nerve-wracking evening.
"She showed up with a guy she's apparently dating now. She treated me like I was the last bum. No more love or affection. She was ice cold and she made an announcement to me that was quite something."
He didn't tell his son about the fact that he had been hiding for quite a while and had only been watching. He didn't have to know everything. He already felt like a coward.

There was an energetic knock on Paul's bedroom door. Richard. He was finally finished.
"Hey kid, I have to go, Scholle just knocked on the door. I'll call you back when I know more, okay?"

He hadn't told him about the private detective either. He still could when he knew more.

"All right, Dad. That's really a doozy, what you've been telling me. You don't hear from each other for a few weeks, and then everything changes. Please let me know when you can breathe again, and keep your chin up. It'll all work out somehow. And have fun tonight."
Then Emil hung up and Paul trotted, still tired, to the hotel room door.

Chapter Text

Richard looked just great. He could do that with the styling. Of course in his favorite colors red and black. And he had to the black jeans and the red shirt really red biker boots on. Actually, that was Paul's part, at least on stage, but Richard looked great with them, too. He had only a little kohl around his eyes, but all the more jewelry on his wrist and around his neck. And he smelled good of a rather expensive perfume. He had chosen a plain black coat to go with it. And of course his fingernails were also painted in black and red. So nothing new.

Next to him, Paul felt like a small clerk with his rather vintage clothes. But he just wasn't the styling expert. And besides, Jenny didn't know him any differently. If he dressed up now like Richard, he would feel completely dressed up and she would probably look stupid or laugh at him.

"All right, Paulchen? Here we go!" gloated Richard. Paul packed his room card and then they started walking towards downtown Hamburg.

"Look, it's cute, isn't it?" Paul stood in front of a small teddy bear with a Hamburg motif on it. He wanted to bring it home for his daughter.

"Um, isn't Lilly a little too old for that?" asked Richard, just in case. His Paul now again, he thought his children were still children.

"Oh nonsense. The little one is happy about everything I bring her from my travels. No matter what it is.", Paul answered him, grinning mischievously.
"Scholle, do you remember when I brought her those Russian nesting dolls when she was still very small? She couldn't crawl in anymore, because there were eight other smaller ones in the big one. And Arielle wanted..." He broke off abruptly, because he realized that this topic was bringing tears to his eyes again.

Richard stroked him lightly over the shoulder and nodded in understanding.
"It's all right, Paul, it'll be all right. Come on, let's keep looking for souvenirs."

With that, he pulled Paul along and they rattled off every souvenir store imaginable. Richard had already stocked up a bit with little things. He wanted to bring Margaux something in any case and of course Khira, Merlin and Maxime. For Maxime it was a snow globe with the harbor as a motif inside and for Margaux he had really bought lace underwear in a lingerie store. Oh well, if he didn't know his ex, who did?
For Khira there was a silver chain with an anchor and for Merlin a fridge magnet with Hamburg motif. The good guy was happy about such small things, he didn't want anything big. Actually, mostly nothing at all, he was just happy to see his busy father from time to time. Paul could totally understand that, he also saw his children far too little.

And Richard had actually thought about Till, too. In a store on the Reeperbahn, he had bought various dildos that could be eaten, partly made of marzipan, partly baked and also decorated with Hamburg motifs. That suited Till, no question about it. Paul grinned to himself. Their singer had a phallus fetish.

"Well, you've got one there. I'm curious to hear what Till has to say about it," Paul gloated.

"Sure, Mr Lindemann is into that kind of thing. And if you can eat it, all the better," came Richard's reply.
"So, now we should slowly make our way towards the pub, we don't want to keep the ladies waiting, do we?"

Paul nodded and he noticed that the butterflies were already dancing samba in his stomach again. He had really fallen in love, that was becoming more and more clear, and he was so afraid of doing something wrong. And he forced himself to get his still-wife out of his mind, at least for this evening. He didn't want to unload all his soul garbage on Jenny again, the sweetie didn't deserve that.

"Yeah, we should do that. I'm so upright, you wouldn't believe it." He beamed at Richard. Richard put his arm around Paul's shoulder.

"It'll be all right. Just relax and then with a jerk, like in life, as they say!" He grinned from ear to ear.

"You again." Paul grinned back.

They trotted off and a few minutes later were already standing in front of the pub where Jenny worked. They were much too early and lit a quick cigarette out of excitement. Richard always had some with him, Paul himself had once again forgotten to buy some. No wonder, with all the chaos in his head, that he couldn't think of something like that.

Shortly before six, the two ladies came running from different directions towards the small pub. They had both made themselves pretty.

Jenny broke the ice first. She walked up to Sylvie.
"Hi, I'm Jenny. Nice to meet you.", she said to Sylvie and shook her hand. Sylvie grinned and greeted Jenny too. And very warmly, too. That at least was nice, that the two ladies seemed to get along well.

"Well, you two? Ready to go?" Jenny snuggled up to Paul and gave him a little kiss on his cheek. And of course he blushed like a tomato. Man, was he embarrassed.

Richard pulled his sweetie to him as a matter of course and gave her a tender French kiss. Well, at least the two of them were quite a bit further along than Paul and Jenny. But what was not, could still become. Hopefully!

Jenny and Paul went before Richard and Sylvie, because Jenny knew where the Italian was. Upon entering, they were greeted very warmly, apparently the waiter had known Jenny for some time. Then they took a seat at a table that was a bit hidden in a corner.
Richard and Sylvie hung out together in front of the menu and apparently quickly found what they were looking for.

Paul's heart was beating wildly and he tried not to think about Arielle and all that shit. But Jenny, unfortunately, started on that topic again and asked him if he'd heard anything yet. Paul nervously slid back and forth in his chair.
"Nah, not yet. We've hired a private detective now, let's see whether the good guy gets anything out of it." He stroked her arm lightly.

"Oha, that's not bad." Jenny leaned toward him and they whispered like two conspirators.

"Yes, the good guy has also helped Till several times. And when I was with my daughter, we thought maybe this would be a way to shed some light on the darkness."

The waiter came to take their order. Jenny and he hadn't even looked at the menu yet.
"Sorry, we need something else," Jenny apologized to the waiter and he only took Richard and Sylvie's orders.

"You know, I eat a pizza, like always. Anything with mushrooms on it. And I need a beer now. And yourself?
Jenny looked at him lovingly and waved to the waiter.

"I'll have what I always have and a beer, and for the gentleman here, a Pizza Funghi and a beer too." The waiter took note of everything and Jenny lovingly stroked Paul's cheek.

He slowly pulled her close, gave her a breathy kiss and ran his hand through her curls. She smelled good and Paul got all warm.
She snuggled up to him and returned the kiss. She stroked his short hair and whispered hoarsely "I think I have a little crush. Can it be?" She smiled and Paul grew even warmer.

"Me too, sweetie, me too." whispered Paul too and kissed her again, this time more intensely. He slowly ran his tongue over her lips and desired entrance into the warm oral cavity. This was granted to him only too gladly. She tasted like a mixture of cigarettes and chewing gum. Lovingly, she surrendered to the kiss.

Paul realized that he wanted much more and that this was also noticeable in his pants. But please, not in public. Well, he had no problem to run around half naked in public, but with a hard-on in his pants it was something else. And he was in a strange city with a strange woman and one of his best friends, he really had to control himself. But he was just a man, as they say.
At that moment Richard cleared his throat loudly and they both breathlessly released each other when the waiter put the drinks on the table.

"My goodness, you're as horny as the neighbor's Lumpy on each other. Find yourselves a room. It's unbelievable!" Richard grinned knowingly and cradled Sylvie in his arms.

Paul was incredibly embarrassed, but he didn't have to be. Richard was one of his best buddies. He was in love, apparently up to both ears. From now on it had caught him. Madness! Something like that could happen in public. And as long as there were no fans around, it was no problem.

In a very small corner of his mind Arielle was still haunting him, but he forced himself not to think about her and the whole mess, but just to enjoy being with Jenny. Soon they would be on tour again, and then he wouldn't see the sweetie at all for an eternally long three weeks, and if he did, it would only be via Skype. He couldn't even think about it, he missed her already.

"What? Can't I finally be happy again?" Paul looked at Richard, partly annoyed, partly expectant. The latter nodded.

"Sure, Paulchen, you more than deserve it after all the shit that's happened."
He smiled fondly at his colleague. Well, that's better. Paul felt a load off his mind, because he already thought he had once again annoyed Richard with the little "attack" he had launched on Jenny. But Richard of all people should understand him, he had been there almost from the beginning when it happened with Arielle.

The waiter now came with the food. Man, that was fast here. If it tasted as good as it smelled, then that was great. But Jenny had said that the Italian was good, so Paul believed her.

The food had been really good. Paul stroked his non-existent belly, full and satisfied.

"It was really good. We could do it again." He ordered another beer and Jenny smiled at him in love.

"How long are you actually staying here in Hamburg?" she asked him.

"Oh sweetie, I'd love to stay here, but we have to be back in the capital by Thursday at the latest, because the tour continues there. For a long three weeks."

Paul was a musician through and through and loved his job, but right now he would have loved to run away somewhere with Jenny, just so he wouldn't have to go on tour. He didn't know that about himself. He liked to be on the road and couldn't really be alone, but this woman had blown him away from the start, and he realized that he missed her already, even though she was sitting next to him, snuggled up close. He stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She smiled and sat up straight.

"Well, I'd better get going, too, because my shift starts at nine. What about you guys?" she asked the group. "Are you guys coming for a nightcap or do you have other plans?"

Paul and Richard looked at each other questioningly.

Sylvie answered in Richard's place. "Would it be very bad if Richard and I took a powder? I'd like to be alone with him while he's here."

She grinned at Richard and he didn't think it was so bad. Well, sure, at some point you have to be alone as a couple. They said goodbye to the other two and Richard whispered in Paul's ear that he should take it slowly, but intensively. And he was right, good Richard. He needed to loosen up a lot and not always brood over everything and every topic.

"Well, I for one would like to join you for a nightcap, if that's okay," came Paul's reply. Jenny was very happy about that, as you could see from her beaming face.

They paid and said goodbye in front of the Italian restaurant. Jenny and Paul strolled leisurely towards the pub, where Jenny was about to go on duty.

Paul was totally in thought, because he wanted to go a little step further and ask Jenny if she was more serious about him. He was fumbling around and somehow didn't dare. Maybe it was all too soon. Jenny stopped and looked at him expectantly.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked. He looked at her, startled, as if she could read his mind. Man, he could get in line, too. It was all much more exciting than when he was a teenager. Maybe because he was older and wiser now, as they said, and knew he had to pull himself together now so he didn't screw everything up. It just had to work out, too. After the whole disaster with Arielle, that couldn't be all. That something like that had to happen at his age.

"Say, I do not want to fall with the door in the house, but could you imagine that this could become something serious between us?"

Now it was out! He looked down at his feet in embarrassment and blushed. She stood in front of him, pressed her body very close to his, which took his breath away again. She took his face in her hands and pressed a light kiss to his mouth.

"Paul, you're so damn cute when you're embarrassed. But what kind of question is that, please? Of course I could imagine more with you, otherwise I wouldn't be doing all this here and now. Sure, we've only known each other since last week, but I also noticed that I was incredibly looking forward to meeting you. I don't know why your Arielle let such a treasure like you go. A woman can't be that dorky!"

Paul's butterflies in his stomach started dancing again. How sweetly she had said that. He literally thirsted for tenderness. But on the other hand, of course, there were things that unfortunately stood between them.

"But with my job, I'm usually on tour for most of the year, with the distance between Berlin and Hamburg, it's going to be a real ordeal, isn't it? Besides, there's always Arielle in between, so I finally want to know what's going on."

"Please don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. The private detective will get back to you." She stroked his cheek and snuggled up to him.

Paul sighed and shook his head. He THOUGHT he couldn't keep thinking about this crappy subject. He had sworn he would. He wanted all of this with Jenny, and if he kept brooding like this, talking only about Arielle and the whole mess, it would eventually annoy her enough to pull the rip cord and withdraw from him.

And that had to be prevented at all costs!

So he put an arm around her shoulder, gave her a short tender kiss, and she hooked herself back up to him. Silently, they walked on.

Chapter Text

"Man, there you are at last, I've been waiting for you for ages!" complained Kalle loudly to Jenny when they finally stumbled into the little pub. Jenny looked at Kalle dumbfounded, not aware of any guilt.

"Um, I'm not on duty until nine. Check your watch, it's a little before nine now." Kalle looked at her startled, hit his forehead with the flat of his hand and snorted.

"Oh man, I totally got the day wrong. That can only happen to me. Sorry, kid," Kalle apologized to her. Paul reluctantly let go of her hand and sat down at the counter. Jenny lovingly stroked his arm and kissed him on the cheek.

"A beer?" she asked.
Paul nodded.

" Well, little one. Are you ever in the Hanseatic city again?" Kalle put an arm around Paul's shoulders.

"Yep. I've got a good reason." He grinned at Kalle. In the meantime, Jenny had disappeared into the warehouse to change her clothes.

"So, let's get down to brass tacks, as they say here in the north: What is it between you? Is there more going on? I wouldn't begrudge her that, she's been on her own for a while and she doesn't deserve it. She's such a sweetie, always hardworking, never talks back, always punctual and helpful. I've been wondering why she hasn't had a guy since I've known her." Kalle looked ahead of him, lost in thought.

Paul was fumbling around. He wasn't sure whether he should tell Kalle anything, but then decided in favor of it, precisely because he was so committed to his employee. It didn't sound like a boss-employee relationship, but more like good friends.

"I hope there's more going on. You know, I think I have a crush on the sweetie, but really." He slid back and forth excitedly on his barstool.

"But it sounds good."
He lowered his voice now; the whole bar didn't have to hear what they were saying.
"You know, Paul, this girl is a knockout. And besides all the other things I said, she's also affectionate, we don't have to start with her looks, that's top. And I believe that this is the right thing for you. Jenny told me what her ex did here the last time. It's not nice. I don't want to be new, but what happened? No one has ever done that. I guess it was terrible for you too, wasn't it? Or did you eat something?"

Paul looked at Kalle, startled.
"Me? No, I didn't, but my ex did." Big, wide eyes on the other side of the counter.

He looked thoughtfully into his beer.
"I still don't know what my ex has learned. She left me on the spur of the moment. And now we've hired a private detective to find out what's really going on."

What was all this huge shit? He couldn't get away from the subject. He still could not understand that his great love had treated him so. So deprecatingly, as if he were the last dirt. He would have trusted this woman with his life, and now? Is she probably involved in things he can't even imagine. And why did she suddenly have a new man at her side? Did he influence her somehow? One had already heard of brainwashing. It couldn't be money, he had that himself, and actually Arielle wasn't that way either. She earned her own money and had never taken advantage of him, at least not in a way that he would have noticed.

"Really? Wow, that's something. But it's still better to end with a scare than the other way around, isn't it?", Kalle said again in his troubled thoughts.

Kalle washed glasses and again leaned conspiratorially over the counter.
"You know, sometimes you have to let go of something in order to get along. Even if it hurts, especially when you've been together for a long time and there are kids involved. Well, you'll get through it."

Paul nodded.
"That's true, but it still hurts. Especially after such a long time. Man, I was married to this woman for over 20 years, we have a daughter together. You just don't throw away everything you've built up."

Kalle nodded his head. He felt incredibly sorry for Paul, precisely because he liked him so much. Paul was a total winner, simply because of his loving nature. The fact that you understand each other immediately, after such a short time, that was something special. No wonder Jenny was so affected. And apparently his counterpart too. If only we knew what was going on in the background. It was like a detective story.

"Of course it hurts, but you can't change it anyway. Concentrate on Jenny, I know that she really likes you. You can tell right away. Just the way she looks at you. Believe me, you can rely on her one hundred percent. I've known her for quite a while now. She's an honest woman. You don't find her on every corner these days."

"Yes, I know. There's just one problem." Paul was already rolling his problems from A to B again.
Kalle looked at him uncomprehendingly and questioningly.

"What kind of problem?"

"Well, the distance and my job. I'm on tour with my boys almost the whole year. I can't spontaneously come anywhere. It would be more like that, that I would have to let the sweetie fly in somewhere. That would be no problem for me, but I don't know if she would have a problem with that. After all, she has a job and a life on the side."

He looked directly at Kalle.

"Don't worry about it, Paul. We can change services on the fly, or I'll hire another part-time employee when she's on the road. You just have to coordinate the whole thing properly, and then it will work."

You had to find a boss like that first, Paul thought. He nodded happily to Kalle.

"Really? That would be great. I would never have thought that you would do it. That such a thing still exists as a boss is not so standard, is it?" He grinned and Kalle grinned back.

"Well, you two? What are you up to again, huh?"
Jenny had reappeared from the camp and was now snuggling close to Paul. Smiling, he looked at her and spontaneously gave her a kiss right on the tip of her nose. He grinned mysteriously.

"Well, I talked to the boss. He has no problem with it, when I'm on tour, that I let you fly in somewhere. Of course, only if you want to."

He pulled her very close to him and at that moment was just happy that he had found her and hadn't run away again like a coward. He also had Richard to thank for that. If he hadn't insisted so insistently that they go back to the pub, things would have been very different.

But then he wouldn't have been able to see Arielle's performance. Who knows, maybe it was all just as well, after all, he now knew that his time with her was definitely over and even if the whole thing was very sad, he had made up his mind. He now had to live with the fact that his time with his wife was over. There was now another woman in his life, and what a woman!

He furtively looked at Jenny from the side and realized that he desired her more with each passing minute. He was as excited as a teenager. All the time he had to think about what it would be like to sleep with her. It would feel weird to him, after all, he had been faithful to his Arielle all these years. He would have had thousands of opportunities, but he had never gotten involved in anything. Earlier in his wild times it had been different, especially the time on Hiddensee, but since he had her he had been faithful as gold and had always thought she was too. Well, he thought wrong.

He really had to stop thinking about such things, he should stick to Richard, he didn't have a problem with it either. Although Mr. Kruspe was constantly involved in some strange... No, decency forbade him to think about it so dirty. But he absolutely had to chat with him again, how he felt with such a "problem", before he shared with Jenny more than just holding hands and the tender kisses.

He realized that he was getting pretty tired. Jenny had to work anyway and then he might as well go to the hotel and finally get some decent sleep.

He pulled her even closer to him and nestled his cheek against hers. Kalle looked at them both raptly.

"Sweetie, don't be mad at me, but I'm going to say goodbye, I'm dead tired. I hope it's not a problem?", Paul started. But Jenny put her finger on his mouth and kissed him tenderly.

"No problem, Paul. I have to work anyway. What do you say we meet tomorrow afternoon, I got two days off because Kalle thinks that of course we have to do something together while you're here. Good idea or good idea?" she grinned.

"Great idea."
He beamed all over his face.
"I'll get in touch with you tomorrow, when I've had a break."
He grinned wider.
"Thanks Kalle!" he called to the bartender.

The latter nodded and Paul paid for his beer. He kissed Jenny tenderly goodbye and trotted leisurely out of the pub. Since it wasn't far to the hotel, he walked leisurely and had another smoke. Yes, he had finally remembered to buy some cigarettes. He couldn't always just refer to Richard, after all.

Speaking of Richard. He absolutely HAD to talk to him BEFORE he met up with Jenny the next day. He sent him a WhatsApp. The good guy was busy with his sweetie, but he would read it. Hopefully!

Chapter Text

Paul woke up to the ringing of his cell phone. First he had to orientate himself, where he was at all, because he had slept so hard and long, as he had not slept for a long time. He reached over to the nightstand to get to his cell phone.

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck." He almost pulled down the light on the nightstand. He peered at the display. Richard. Well, that's better. After all, Mr Kruspe had to give him "tutoring" in the matter of "no more sex for a long time and preparing for new sex with the new girlfriend". Paul grinned to himself. Richard would curl up laughing so hard, explaining to him, an almost 57 year old man, how it went with a new relationship and sex and calming him down. He was really acting like a teenager on his first date. He was embarrassed to death. But he also really didn't want to do anything wrong.

"Well, my dear. Everything okay with you and the sweetie?", Paul greeted his best buddy cheerfully.

"Dude, how can you be so cheerful early in the morning?", Richard now also greeted Paul on the phone. He sounded incredibly sleepy. "What's so urgent that can't wait until tonight?"

Paul sighed. He couldn't explain this to Richard over the phone, so they had to see each other and soon.
"Why, you know me, I'm always like this, or have you already forgotten?" He grinned. "Have you had breakfast yet?" asked Paul.

"Nah, do you want to have breakfast together? I think my sweetie is still asleep and I don't think she really wants to get up now, do you, darling?" inquired Richard. No answer.
"Okay, sleep soundly. I'll get ready and then come over to you. How long do you need?!

"I'll jump in the shower real quick. About 20 minutes?"
"All right. See you in a bit."

Richard hung up and Paul sprinted out of bed, almost falling over his suitcase. Typical, he was so excited he acted like a jerk. Taking a running jump into all the faux pas in the world. Yes, Paul was really good at that.

When he was in the shower, he remembered that he had forgotten his shower gel and shampoo. He wanted to sprint off again, but then thought better of it, so that he didn't slip here in the bathroom and fall on his face. So very slowly.

As soon as he was back under the hot stream, his cell phone rang. That couldn't be true. Paul ignored the ringing. He could call back, too. Now he had to get ready, after all, it always took him a little while to decide what to wear. He couldn't keep bothering Richard with such things, after all, he was already big. Actually!

When he got out of the shower, he immediately looked at his cell phone to see who had called.

Mr Mueller!! The private detective!! Oh, now it was getting interesting.

Paul pulled the towel tighter around his body, sat down on the sofa in an agitated manner and called Mr Mueller back. He bobbed his legs excitedly, then Mr Mueller finally answered the phone.

"Hello, Mr Landers, good of you to call back. I have a few more questions for you," the private investigator began the call.

"Okay. Then fire away."

"Can you tell me if your wife lives in Hamburg by now? Or does she still live in Berlin?"

Paul looked at the phone as if it were a car.
"Um, I only know that she moved out with me. I don't know if she's found another place to stay in Berlin. Why do you ask that?" Paul answered excitedly.

Mr Mueller remained calm and matter-of-fact on the phone.
"Well, our people have seen your wife in Hamburg, in a rather posh district, at one of those villas where you would never get admission as an ordinary person."

Paul straightened up. And, of course, he got right back to thinking.

Well, one of his best buddies also lived in one of those so-called mansions, but in Pankow, and he was far from being a snob, even though he played drums in Germany's most famous band. Well, Schneider also had three children, so a little house like that wasn't bad at all. But for him, Paul, such a thing was out of the question. He needed the urbanity of Berlin, the big-city life, where people could see that they lived in a big city.

"Mr Landers? Are you still there?" then asked Mr Mueller again.

"Um, yes, of course. Could you tell me what's going on with the villa?", Paul asked the man on the phone.

"At the moment, unfortunately, not yet. It was only seen before, however, we know who owns the villa." He paused for effect.

Paul was far too excited to let Mr Mueller continue talking.
"And who owns the good piece?"

Mr Mueller continued to try to remain calm and matter-of-fact.
"Don't get upset, Mr Landers. I hope you're sitting down."

Paul raised his eyes and became more and more jittery. Finally he got a message and maybe also finally light into the darkness.
"Sure, man, tell me already. I am sitting here like on hot coals."

Mr Mueller cleared his throat and began to tell.
"Well, the villa belongs to a businessman from Hamburg who is very well known to us and also not unknown to the police, who deals in narcotics, among other things, but unfortunately could never be arrested for lack of evidence," he let the bombshell burst.

"Please wat? Drugs? My wife? I can't believe that." Paul shook his head in disbelief, which Mr Mueller couldn't see.

"Now stay relaxed, Mr Landers. It has not yet been confirmed that your wife has also come into contact with something like this."

That could be, but the way she had behaved on the evening in question in the small pub, he would not rule it out. Under the influence of drugs, you did a lot of things that you didn't even know afterwards.

Paul thought again of the shitty time he had witnessed back then.

Unfortunately, he had had to witness that years ago with one of his best friends. Things didn't end well back then. His friend had killed himself by setting a speedball. That had been a horrible time. Paul had struggled with it for a long time then. He was no longer sure whether he wanted to continue with Rammstein at all. He fell into a deep hole at that time.

And also Richard had had to do with the devil stuff at that time. Out of fear of losing him too, Paul had fought like a lion for Richard at that time. And it had paid off. In the meantime he was clean. Paul himself had nothing to do with drugs, not then, not now. The only things he had consumed were huge amounts of alcohol, especially in Feeling B times, and of course smoking. That had subsided, but ever since this thing with Arielle had happened, he'd been on the fag all the time, so to speak. He felt like Richard, who never seemed to run out of cigarettes.

"Mr Landers, are you still there?" asked Mr Mueller again. Paul cleared his throat.

"Yes, I am. So, by all that's right, but I just don't think my ex takes drugs." As if in confirmation, he nodded. "But what's the next step?"

He shifted uneasily on the sofa. At that moment, there was a knock at the hotel room door. Richard! Of course! He had forgotten all about him.

"Hold on, I'm coming!" he called to the door, pulling the towel a little tighter around his body and trying to get to the door hopping with cell phone between his shoulder and ear and holding his towel.

"We will continue to monitor this and of course let you know of any news, Mr Landers! It would definitely be a big step to apprehend this gentleman and get your wife out of there, if she wants to. Because so far, as I said, we don't know if she has anything to do with it," the private detective answered Paul on the phone. The latter was out of breath, but asked again anyway.

"Get out? What do you mean, it doesn't all come from my wife and she gets something like brainwashing?"

Mr Mueller cleared his throat.

"That could well be, Mr Landers. There have already been a few cases where people have been forced to do things. But we'll definitely get that out. Don't worry so much, we're on it. I'll get back to you as soon as I know more. Goodbye."

Paul skipped to the door.

"Okay. All right. Thanks for now and see you soon."

He tried to end the conversation. At that moment he yanked the door open and the towel took its leave towards the floor.
"Man, that's some bullshit."

Paul also dropped his cell phone. Thank God the hotel room was carpeted, so nothing really happened to the cell phone. Hectically, he pressed the red receiver, so that Mr Mueller did not hear everything that was happening.

"Helloooo, beautiful man. I didn't even know we were that far along now! The fans would be thrilled.", Richard grinned at him and wiggled his eyebrows smugly. "What was that word again? Paulchard?" Then he pushed the naked Paul back into the hotel room and closed the door behind him.

Paul glared at him angrily. He was getting naked with Richard of all people, how embarrassing.
"Um, sorry, just had my hands full."

He quickly disappeared in the direction of the bathroom and Richard patiently carried the towel after him.
"Thanks, I'll be fine," Paul answered him chokingly and blushing. Then he made a wiping motion for Richard to get out of the bathroom.

"Already gone. Hurry up, I'm hungry!", Richard answered him comfortably and disappeared into the living area.

Paul took a deep breath in and out of the bathroom. Right now, it was probably better to keep the phone call he had just made to the private detective to himself. He had to keep a cool head, Jenny was more important there.

There was nothing he could do anyway but wait for the next news. He would just briefly write Till a WhatsApp message with the essentials so that he was in the picture, because after all, he had the singer to thank for the fact that professionals were now taking care of this delicate matter.

Chapter Text

The breakfast room was packed. Richard and Paul sat in a somewhat quieter corner, they didn't want to be recognized, especially now that Paul had to discuss such important things with Richard. Both had no problem if they were recognized and addressed by fans, but at the moment it was especially with Paul rather that he would have reacted a little pissed off. He was totally jittery and also totally excited because of Jenny. They hadn't gone to the buffet either, but had had something brought to the table a la carte.

Richard dug in as if he hadn't had anything to eat for days.
"So, what's on your mind that can't wait until tonight?" he began.

Paul was so excited again that he almost dropped his coffee spoon. Impatiently, he put the cup down.

"Paulchen, what's going on? You're all messed up?", Richard asked him flatly. "What's happened now?"

Paul slid back and forth on the chair, turning bright red as he began to ask Richard if it made a difference if he was with another...well....

"You know, Scholle, you're going to think I'm completely nuts, but there's no one else I could ask. I'm embarrassed and maybe I'm thinking about it too much."

Richard looked at him in amazement and questioning.

Paul cleared his throat, straightened up, and then quietly asked flatly, "Tell me, how is it when you've only had one wife for years and suddenly you're with another... well, you know?"

Richard looked at Paul uncomprehendingly.
"What do you mean? What do you mean?"

Paul rolled his eyes.
"You know what I mean. I mean, with sex and all... Oh man, it's hard!"

Richard couldn't help grinning.
"Paul, you're not seriously asking me now if you should sleep with your Jenny and if there's something different than with your ex?"

"Yes, yes. That's what I'm asking you! So, is it different? Man, I just haven't had as many chicks as you in my life, I feel so stupid, like I'm experiencing this for the first time, you know?"

Richard thought it was totally sweet of Paul, he was acting like a teenager in love for the first time. He moved closer to him, tilted his head conspiratorially near Paul, and put an arm around Paul's shoulder.

"Paulchen, there's nothing different. You shouldn't make comparisons either. That's never a good idea. You HAVE to get Arielle out of your head and especially out of your dick. Everything you experienced with her, in bed or anywhere else. THAT is in the past. I know it's hard, especially because you were such a unit. But it just can't be changed anymore!"

Paul swallowed hard and would have loved to burst into tears again when he thought of the good times with Arielle. No, no and again no! He couldn't fuck all this up. He wanted Jenny, more than anything, Richard was right about that.

Richard continued to speak.

"Please focus only, and I mean exclusively, on your sweetness in the here and now. Don't live in the past anymore and one thing above all. Stay cool and let it all come to you. You are a man in his prime, as they say, and your powder is guaranteed not to be shot yet. So please, when the time comes, head out, and everything else on! Got it!"

"Yes, I understood that. I just wanted to know if it makes a difference whether you sleep with the one woman you know inside out or with someone you don't really know yet, you know! We have a date this afternoon and I wanted to go one step further. Precisely, because she suggested we meet at her apartment." Paul grinned to himself.

"Then do that, you won't do anything wrong. You can't. She is totally in love with you and you with her. It will all go by itself. You'll see." Richard grinned dirty. "You're not eating anything. Paul, you have to eat something, otherwise you can forget the best sex and collapse from sheer weakness! So please!"

Paul took a roll and cut it open. In the process, of course, he spilled his coffee on his T-shirt out of sheer nervousness.

" Great, super managed, Mr Landers!" He scolded himself, looked at Richard and suddenly couldn't hold in his laughter.
Yes, that's right, that was the Paul Richard knew. The cheerful guy who was always pulling some kind of rascal prank.

" Say, how's it going with your sweetie?", Paul asked, chewing.

Richard straightened up and sounded quite proud for the first time.

"You know Paul, I think this is finally the one this time. She's not running after me like a puppy just to make me be nice to her. Yesterday we had a fight, because she found a sentence of mine quite arrogant and pretentious. She says when something doesn't suit her and she can also dish it out. And not too scarce. So a real Kodder snout with Hamburg slang. I don't know that at all from the women I've had so far."

He pulled a thoughtful face, but immediately continued talking.

"Not to mention all the groupies, who disappeared after one night anyway. Even Margaux took a long time before she had any objections to me. But with Sylvie it's completely different. She has both feet on the ground, has a job that has nothing to do with mine and in any case doesn't want to be dependent on me. Not financially and not emotionally. This is all new territory for me - and you know what, it feels really good!"

Richard was literally raving about his latest conquest. Paul really indulged him. Richard's comments distracted him a little from the fact that he was as excited as the first time. Paul looked at his wristwatch and was terribly startled.

"Oh man, it's already one thing, I think I have to change, I can't sleep in a T-shirt with coffee stains at the sweetie's." He finished his coffee and was about to get up frantically when Richard held him back once again.

"Remember, Paulchen, take it easy and you'll see, everything will work out! And don't forget the condoms!" Richard grinned.

"Yes, Mom, I got it. So, keep your fingers crossed and see you there. And thank you, Scholle, for talking to me about this stupid topic! I should really know something like that by the end of my life." He shook his head at himself.

Then he hugged his friend and was gone. Richard smiled and was leisurely finishing his breakfast when a couple of fans meandered in his direction. They must have seen Paul running through the breakfast room. Inwardly he narrowed his eyes upward, but publicly he was friendly. The fans, after all, were the reason he was allowed to live the life he did. He would always be grateful for that, and as long as they behaved reasonably normally, he had no problem with it.

The only bad things were the stalkers who followed them wherever they went. What evasion strategies had he thought of so that he could go home in peace without it being broadcast somewhere on social media where and, above all, with whom he was.

"Can I have a picture with you, Richard?" A shy and very pretty girl just approached him. He smiled kindly and got up from the table.

"Sure, why not?" She handed her cell phone to her friend, who was apparently just as shy, for the photo and Richard put an arm around the delicate creature. If she was old, she was 18 at the most, and he was an old bag against her.

Incredibly, they covered all ages with their music, there was everything there and in almost every country on earth. It was so incredible that even after all these years Richard still couldn't believe that he was a rock star. For himself, he was a musician and guitarist and played in a band that played German rock. No question, he loved his job and he was very happy that he had listened to Till at that time and had also started Emigrate. There he could let off steam musically and lyrically. Nothing more.

And he believed that if you kept reminding yourself of that, you couldn't take off at all. He didn't want that either. Not anymore. Because there was a time in his past that he was by no means proud of, and where not least his best friend, namely Paul, had stood by him, although it was anything but easy.

The two girls thanked him and he wished them a nice day. Then he trotted contentedly and comfortably towards the elevator to wake up his sweetheart. She was already sleeping more than enough.

*

... but when he got to the hotel room, his sweetie wasn't there at all. Not in bed, not in the bathroom, nowhere ... Richard's heart started stumbling like crazy - oh no, please not again, he thought to himself. What had he done wrong now?

He sat down on the bed and only now saw the little note on the nightstand that said "Hey, handsome. I thought, hotel room is boring, I have my apartment here. What do you think about a visit to me? 3 p.m.?" Next to it was a little heart painted and an address.

Richard's heart skipped a beat. Sure, how stupid could one actually be? Sylvie lived here in Hamburg, in an apartment, of course. Why hadn't he thought of that himself? Sometimes he was really too stupid. He couldn't fall back into the tour mode, where everything always happened in hotel rooms. But 3 p.m. was soon, so he had to hurry.

He frantically undressed and jumped in the shower, only to rummage through his suitcase in a hurry. He already felt like Paul, who also never found anything to wear. Okay, black always worked, he put on a pair of black jeans, black shirt and boots and then looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Well, he was already a bit vain, but he left out the eyeliner this time, only he brought his hair with some gel in the familiar jags, grabbed his valuables and went out of the hotel room towards the elevator.

He was excited. I wonder how his sweetheart lived, how was she furnished? Would he feel comfortable there?

When he stepped out of the elevator, he was met by Paul, who was also freshly showered and newly dressed, heading for the hotel exit.

"Scholle, what is it? Without your sweetie on the road? And above all, where were you for so long?", Paul asked him, jiggling his feet excitedly.

Richard cleared his throat. "You wouldn't believe it. When you left breakfast, two fangirls actually chatted me up and asked for a photo." He grinned. So did Paul.

"Well, that can happen, right? Yes, and then?"

"Then I went to the hotel room and my sweetie wasn't there. But this note!" He handed Paul the note and Paul read it in disbelief.

"That's great. Man, Scholle, don't screw it up again, yeah! You, I have to hurry, my sweetheart is already waiting. I wish you lots of fun, whatever you do!"

With that, he quickly scurried away and Richard trotted out of the hotel a little faster, his heart pounding.

Chapter Text

Richard of course didn't know where to find Sylvie, he didn't really know his way around Hamburg. And he didn't feel like knotting his way through Hamburg with a car and a navigation system. So he called a cab, told the man the address. As it turned out, it wasn't too far, the address was in Altona, on Bergstraße, not far from the fish market and the Reeperbahn.

He was over-punctual and still had time to have a leisurely smoke in front of the house. He couldn't really get away from the truck, which was the only thing he had left - except for the music, of course. Without it nothing went.

Drugs were thank God no more, the alcohol also kept within limits - well, and apparently also the eternal rumgevögel. He really had the feeling this time that the whole thing with Sylvie could turn into something that didn't fall apart like all the relationships before.

And he HAD to somehow find a twist, not to pick up the groupies in rows even on tour. It worked for Paul, too. And also with Flake, Schneider and Olli. Even Till wasn't as ratty as he was a few years ago. It was hard, but it really didn't work anymore. Slowly he had to finally stand by himself and what he was. Even if after all these years he still had the feeling of not being good enough for whatever. This theme had been burned into him since early childhood, and he couldn't get rid of it. He needed that constant validation.

But this whole youth craze pissed him off so much by now - just thinking about the fangirls right now. If he had wanted to, maybe they would have gone with him to the hotel room, but he was fucking 54 years old, it came across as ridiculous - how many times had he mused about that. Maybe he should bring out the arrogance and act like he was floating on another planet when someone hit on him, and let the rock star hang out. But he just wasn't, he was way too nice for this whole shark tank called the music industry. Nice - how did that sound? He wasn't nice, he was - well, friendly, courteous, well-mannered - something like that.

And when he thought of how sadly and exhaustingly his long marriage to Caron had ended then, he could still break in a beam today. He really felt like nothing back then. That's why the drugs. He was very happy that his health was much better now. And he owed this not least to Paul, who had fought for him like a lion.

He smiled at the thought of him, Paul was a sweetheart, even if he could sometimes drive everyone up the wall with his manner when he wanted something and didn't get it.

He put out the cigarette butt on the street, tightened himself once more, took a deep breath - and rang Sylvie's doorbell...

*

... at the same time on the Kiez, in front of Jenny's apartment building.

There he stood, as excited as on the first date and didn't dare to ring the bell. He was, just like Richard, over-punctual and smoked again a cigarette. But that was also maddening. He just couldn't get a grip on the carousel of thoughts in his head.

He kept thinking about what the private detective had said. If Arielle was really involved in drug deals, or worse, was doing drugs herself, then maybe she didn't WANT to leave him and they could have saved the marriage.

He sighed to himself.

But if none of that had happened, he wouldn't be standing outside Jenny's house right now. Of the woman he'd fallen head over heels in love with, and where he could hardly wait to do more with her besides hold hands and exchange kisses. Yes, he wanted her, today, here, now.

He admitted it to himself, he was so hot and his nether regions were tingling incessantly. He noticed that he already now, in the middle of the street in broad daylight, had an incipient hard-on, and exactly that was of course super embarrassing to him - once again.

He walked up and down in front of the old building and thought about calling Richard again. But no, he couldn't. He was busy with his sweetheart himself, so he couldn't start this kindergarten fuss again.

Oblivious, he was stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray in front of Jenny's house when suddenly the front door opened and she was standing in front of him. Paul's heart immediately began to trip erratically and he jerked back, startled.

"Hey, what are you doing in front of the house? Didn't you find the doorbell? I've been waiting for you for about twenty minutes." She pressed against him and pulled him by the hand into the hallway. Paul looked furtively at his watch and was startled. He had lost track of the time again because of all his brooding. He was such a scatterbrain, unbelievable.

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss in the hallway. Then she pulled him along, up to her apartment. Now things were getting serious. But Paul tried to stay reasonably calm. He couldn't just barge in, as the saying went. He wasn't such a lecher after all.

In Jenny's apartment it smelled seductively of food. And he realized that he was hungry, even though it hadn't been that long since breakfast.

"Make yourself at home, handsome. I'll be ready in a minute!" said Jenny, and Paul took off his jacket and boots. Jenny's place was prim and proper cozy. The apartment was not large and he strolled into the living room.

This room basically consisted of a large bookshelf, a comfortable couch, a coffee table and a small TV board. And Jenny had an incredible number of plants of every size and shape. A small balcony branched off from the living room. He opened the balcony door. Outside it was cold, clear, late October. The apartment was in the back building, meaning it was reasonably quiet for St. Pauli.

On the balcony there was a small table and two chairs, each with a blanket on it. He took one and sat down. Excitedly, he pulled his cigarettes out of his pants pocket and lit one. Man, he needed to get down from his excitement now. This was bad. He needed something to calm down. And already Jenny came after him, sat down opposite him, had put on a thick cardigan and asked him for a cigarette. He handed her the pack with trembling fingers...and blushed.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed. Has anyone ever told you that?" Tenderly, she stroked his left arm. Paul cleared his throat.

"Um, yeah, sometimes Scholle says that to me, but other than that, nah, not really."

"Dinner's almost ready, I made pasta with special sauce a la Jenny." She grinned.

"Ahaa. Special sauce? What kind??"

"A mixture between mustard, ketchup and tomato paste."

Paul raised his eyebrows. "Okayyy, I'm curious to see how that tastes." He stubbed out his butt in the ashtray.
Jenny finished her smoke, too, and then they walked back into the living room together. She pushed Paul down on the couch and ran into the kitchen to get the food. She had already placed plates and cutlery on the table.

"That was excellent, my sweet, also the special sauce. I didn't think it would taste good." Paul rubbed his non-existent belly. "I could get used to this."

"Do you know how to cook, too? Or do you get something via delivery service?" Jenny asked him.

"Nah, I'll cook myself, at least it'll be something with noodles and any sauce. For me alone, I don't start with a roast or something." He became sad again, because of course he thought of how it was when Arielle and he stood together in the kitchen and conjured up something. Most of the time it tasted good, even if Arielle wasn't such a great cook. Damn, he missed her - unfortunately still. And he was totally inhibited again when it came to Jenny...

*

Exhausted, Richard slid off Sylvie. The sex had been incredible, it was much nicer when you slept together in familiar surroundings. And it was just totally comfortable in Sylvie's apartment, even if she was pretty styled.

He tried to get his breathing under control and pulled his sweetie close to him. THIS was what he had been looking for for years. The security, the feeling of having arrived, and in every way. Right now, he didn't waste a thought on not being good enough or the tour. He didn't want to think about the fact that they would be back in Berlin in two days and that the tour would last another three weeks. For the first time, he didn't feel like it.

And especially he didn't want to think about what came after that. They lived in two different cities. How was he going to have a long-distance relationship? He'd had that with Margaux for a long time, and it hadn't worked, even though they had a child together. Now he was mulling it over after all. He closed his eyes, and with the little tender kisses that Sylvie was now spreading over his face, he slowly sank into a light sleep....

*

Paul sat stiff as a board on Jenny's sofa and was totally lost in thought. Jenny was in the kitchen, loading her dishwasher. She came back into the living room with a bottle of wine and nibbles and was startled to see a completely changed Paul.

She sat down next to him. "What's wrong?" she inquired cautiously. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you all right?"

Paul shook his head. "I can't... I just can't. I’m so sorry." With that, he jumped up frantically, grabbed his jacket and boots, and the apartment door crashed into the lock.

He left behind a rather stunned Jenny, who was still calling after him, but he was already out the door.

He ran down the street on socks, as if he was being chased by whatever. Only in the nearby park did he slow down and sink onto the first available bench. There he pulled on his jacket and slipped into his boots.

And then all the tension burst out of him, he howled like a castle dog, and was so angry at himself that he had once again screwed everything up. He had run away like a fucking loser. Please what was Jenny supposed to think of him now? He was acting like a lunatic. And he hated himself for it.

The tears were running down his face unhindered, and he couldn't contain himself with all the anger and sorrow.

And of course he didn't notice that someone sat down next to him. Only when someone slowly stroked his thigh did he look up, startled.

Chapter Text

"You? How did you know I was here?" Jenny had run after Paul and stroked his thigh very lightly. Paul was sniffling and looked like a bundle of misery. Jenny didn't say a word, she left him to talk.

And he did. Everything burst out of him, the flow of speech became more and more, he talked about the fact that he still missed Arielle, of course, and that he had to think about the good times with her earlier. And also about his fear of the first time with Jenny. And then all this shit with the private detective and what he had already found out.

He talked himself into a rage until Jenny put a finger on his mouth, came closer to him and replaced the finger with her lips. She pulled him close, lightly stroked his cheek with her hand and kissed him tenderly. Slowly he calmed down again and returned the kiss.

He pulled her with him onto the bench and as she lay over him like that, he realized again that he wanted more. He wanted to make love to her, now!

But Jenny shook her head in amusement, carefully released the kiss and pulled him up with her. She hooked herself to him and whispered softly "Not here on the hard bench in the cold and public. I know a much nicer place." She grinned at Paul. His tension had eased somewhat, though he still mourned his wife. But she was in the past, though perhaps she couldn't help it now.

The here and now was important. Richard had made that clear to him again and again. But the good guy would be doing something completely different than he was. He wouldn't have stormed out of the apartment at the drop of a hat. Mr Kruspe was a bit more detached than he was. Paul was simply too kind and thoughtful a guy in this respect, he couldn't function at the push of a button. He was much too emotional for that.

Quietly, the two crept up the hallway to Jenny's apartment. But when she had closed the apartment door, Paul could no longer control himself. Too much had come at him. He only hoped that he didn't overwhelm Jenny with it. But she pulled him close with a sigh.

They hurriedly got rid of all their clothes, both of them as excited as teenagers at their first time, and Paul directed them to the bedroom, where he half fell over her onto the wide bed. How he knew where the bedroom was was a mystery to himself, but he no longer acted, he only felt.

Slowly he slid over her and kissed his way down her neck, gently massaging her breasts and lightly nibbling on her nipples, making her moan softly.

He knew exactly what to do. He was excited, yes, but he could already imagine what his sweetie liked. It was so very different when he was an immaculate teenager and he came too fast. And he certainly didn't want THAT. He tried to control himself, but it was incredibly hard for him. No wonder, Jenny was a provocative and beautiful woman.

His hand tremblingly wandered between her legs, where he realized she was already more than ready for him. Carefully, he sank a finger inside her and noticed how she accommodated him. He added a second and stroked her pearl lightly, but also firmly. She threw her head back a bit and pressed her pelvis against his rather pronounced hardness.

There was only a murmur in his head. But Jenny was still reasonably lucid and tried to push him away a little. Paul couldn't understand why at first.

"Hey..." she gasped excitedly, "I think you forgot something."

Paul grinned inanely, until he remembered that he had the condoms in his back pocket. And now - at this point. He withdrew his fingers from her and groped on the floor beside the bed for his pants, which he thankfully found right away. He scrambled over them again and tore open the package. But before he could roll the rubber over his best piece, Jenny had taken the condom from his hand and rolled it over his hardness very slowly and tenderly and with a teasing smile.

She pulled him along again, and he picked up where they had just left off. She was so wet by now that he could dare. Tenderly he kissed her and when he heard a hissed "Go ahead," he took his dick in his hand and penetrated her, her hot tightness until it went no further, or so he thought.

And then he moved very slowly until they found a rhythm together. Jenny was like him, she moaned loudly and so did he. He could not hold back, he had to moan out his feelings.

And Richard was right, he was only thinking about them both at the moment, how beautiful it was. Their bodies rubbed against each other and were completely sweaty. He pulled her left leg over his shoulder so he could penetrate her even deeper. She held onto his hips and one hand pressed his butt firmly against her so he could penetrate her even more drippingly. She suddenly grabbed herself and rubbed her pearl hard in time with his thrusts into her.

Suddenly she took her leg off his shoulder and motioned for them to turn around. Now she was above him, riding him. This sight was just so so seductive that he swallowed hard, and if it was at all possible, he got even harder inside her.

She tried to kiss him, but he gasped into her mouth because it felt so incredibly good to make love to her. He realized that his climax was not far away, and the sounds they both made with their bodies during sex catapulted him to spheres where he had never been before. Not even with his wife. No, don't think about that now, this is exactly the wrong time, he hastily admonished himself.

He groaned and pulled Jenny close so he could go even deeper. She held on to the headboard of the bed above him, and he massaged her breasts with one hand as he did so, pressing her firmly against him with the other.

And now it was time.

With a cry he didn't know from himself, he came wave-like in long and never-ending thrusts deep inside her, and he noticed how her contractions also tightened around his member and she came, also with a cry on her lips.

She practically fell on top of him and gasped her pleasure into his ear. It took them quite a long time before they could breathe reasonably normally again and he slowly and carefully withdrew from her.

He removed the condom from his penis. Jenny had - like himself - a small waste garbage can next to the bed. In it the rubber disappeared with his semen, and that was not little. Wow, that he still had so much of it left, he would not have thought.

She pushed off him a little and grinned happily at him. And he stroked her tenderly. He couldn't understand why some men just took a shower and fell asleep. After all, the afterplay was just as nice as the foreplay and the actual act.

"Oh yes. I don't even know what to say," Jenny whispered, snuggling up to him. Paul was just happy. He would have loved to shout out his happiness.

He pulled her close to him, even though they were both wet from sweating, he didn't care. He just wanted to be with her and deeply he sucked in the scent of sex. Loving someone and doing everything for them was nice, but without the physical union it didn't work at all.

And he was not a sex monster now, but he loved sex, especially if it was accompanied by feelings that one felt for the other and also received. And real ones, not fake ones. And he felt a lot for his sweetheart. Yes, and Paul finally admitted to himself that he was not only in love, but that he loved this woman with everything he had. And that after such a short time.

"Hey, how about a shower?" asked Jenny softly. He kissed her again, and slowly the two of them broke away from each other. With wobbly legs they walked arm in arm into the bathroom.

*

Paul awoke to a tickling on his nose. Sleepily, he opened his eyes and realized that it was the sun dancing on his nose. He had an incredibly warm feeling in his stomach area and thought about the past hours. Groping, his right hand reached beside him, but the side of the bed was empty. Startled, he looked beside him, but Jenny was not there.

Frowning, he tried to stand up, still in a daze. His clothes were now neatly laid over a chair that stood beside the bed. Shivering, he pulled on his boxers and groped sleepily into the kitchen, where he perceived clattering.

"Hello, handsome man. Up already?" Jenny stood grinning at the stove, sizzling scrambled eggs with bacon. The smell alone made Paul's stomach grumble; he was really hungry. No wonder after last night's exertion.

Of course they had made love again, first in the shower and then again this very early in the morning. And as many times as he had come, unbelievably. He had been so ravenous. She had spoiled him rotten and that she had also satisfied him orally had been wonderful.

He hadn't expected that at all, his wife never wanted to know about it. But Jenny had taken his best piece in her mouth as a matter of course. Just the thought of her soft lips, which were so tender that it had shaken him from pure horniness and then also her tongue piercing, with which she had crept up his shaft very slowly, that alone had made him come, again and again. And she had really swallowed it all, that wasn't a given either. But that also meant that she trusted him one hundred percent. And he trusted her, too.

What time was it, anyway? He looked at the kitchen clock and was startled. What, noon again? Time was speeding up again. When he thought about the fact that he had to be back in Berlin on Thursday, his stomach tightened painfully. They now only had half a day and night together. And then? He would only see her face via Skype for three long weeks and live off the memories. But at least her shows and the trappings were distraction enough. But then when he lay alone in his hotel room at night, the longing would come like a boomerang. He was afraid of it. And also of what else the private detective would find out.

"Well, are you excited for the tour to continue?" she also asked directly. Paul looked at her with mixed feelings. Yes, he was looking forward to the tour and to his boys. However, it was also incredibly exhausting, and when he thought about the groupies trying to follow one of them back to the hotel room or somewhere else, he felt sick. How must Richard feel? He hoped for him that he would remain steadfast, not in the sexual sense, but for the sake of his sweetheart.

"Hm, yes, I'm glad, but I'm going to miss you so much, sweetie, you won't believe it." He kissed her neck and stood very close behind her. His hands ran along her sides and she started giggling because it tickled her.

He could again. Was this normal at his age? That he was apparently permanently horny now? He didn't know anything like that about himself. But this woman turned him on incredibly, everything about her. And her purring dark voice did not make it better. He pressed himself very close to her ass and realized that he was already getting hard again. Sex monster Paul Landers - great. He giggled along, but for entirely different reasons.

Jenny took the pan from the stove, deftly wriggled out of his embrace, smirked and put something on both of their prepared breakfast plates. Then she poured the coffee cups as a matter of course and sat down at her place at the small kitchen counter as if nothing had happened.

Paul looked at her, perplexed. Had she not noticed anything? He couldn't believe that. He cleared his throat and tried to hide his erection with his hands. Innocently, he sat down on the other chair and grabbed the coffee cup first.

Chapter Text

Jenny let one hand slide onto his thigh and her fingers moved further towards his erection. Carefully she stroked the baggy boxers. And in his belly, the butterflies gathered to do an extended samba. All the blood drained from his face and pooled in the center of his body. He swallowed choppily and tried to suppress his gasping, which he couldn't really do.

He tried convulsively to hold on to his coffee cup and push Jenny's fingers away with his other hand, but she was undeterred and kept forging ahead. Slowly, her fingers slid up to the waistband of his pants and crawled inside his shorts as if it were a matter of course.

"Oooh, slow down, me..." This was as far as he got, surrendering. Hard, he set the coffee cup down on the table, forgetting about breakfast, pulled her hand out of his pants, grabbed her a little harder and dragged her with him towards the bedroom

But they didn't get as far as that, because the thick runner on the floor in the hallway was comfortable enough and he couldn't and wouldn't hold back. She was wearing only panties and a T-shirt. Agonizingly slowly she pulled the T-shirt over her head and as if in slow motion they both sank down the wall towards the floor. Missionary position he didn't want this time. Maybe he could do her from behind.... Man, what dirty thoughts did he have with this woman?

But she must have read his thoughts, because she positioned herself in the so-called quadrupedal position in front of him and stretched her ass towards him. Doggystyle? Okay, she could have it. He grinned and literally ripped the panties off her butt, then noticed her fist opening with a condom packet in it. Man, he hadn't thought of that again. How blind with lust could one actually be?

Hectically he tore open the package, this time hastily rolled himself the rubber over his penis and penetrated hard from behind her wet tightness. She was already so wet that he needed no preparation and, of course, had no trouble sinking himself almost to the hilt inside her. She had lowered her head and let out a loud gasp. Tenderly, he put both hands on her hips and pulled her a little closer to him to slide even deeper into her.

He closed his eyes, put his head on the back of her neck and enjoyed thrusting into her hard. He wasn't really into such hard sex, but apparently she was enjoying it too, because she was babbling something about how he should fuck her faster. What? Dirty talk as well? He didn't know her like that either, it was anything but tender this time, it was hard, uncompromising and incredibly horny. And yes, he had to admit it to himself, he was into it.

She propped herself up against the opposite wall and came more and more towards him with her ass. If they kept this up, it would be over in a minute - and he certainly didn't want that.

"Stop, sweetie, I'll be right there," he growled darkly, pulling out of her. She spun around, spreading her legs wide, and he rested them on both his shoulders, penetrating her wet heat again. As he did so, he massaged her pearl hard and firm with one hand and she purred something about "rough fingers from playing guitar" and literally begged for him to take her even harder. Oh man, that could be something. He sucked one of her nipples demanding, as they stretched hard towards him.

She helped him by rubbing the other nipple herself. She clutched it with her legs, which she had now placed at his sides, driving him further towards the incessant climax.

And no, they were not quiet at all, loud moans and screams flooded the hallway, and they both didn't care if anyone could hear. He penetrated them as hard as he could and felt like the stimulation of them both on their bodies was making him harder and harder, and he didn't know where to put his feelings because of the sensual rush.

His sweat ran down his body in streams and also with her everything was wet, which he also touched. Slippery their lower bodies collided with each other and he now circled her pierced belly button with his hand and kissed her by repeatedly letting his tongue play in her mouth with her piercing. THAT made him totally crazy, this contrast - the hard metal and then this soft mouth. In addition, this tightness, in which he pushed again and again with his best piece. She pressed his ass even tighter against her with one hand and indeed it went even deeper, he filled her completely.

"Aaah, you are so well stocked...., ooooh, my face. Pleasepleaseplease..." she moaned incessantly, clawing hard into his ass.

Suddenly her body tightened around his penis as she came with a cry on her lips. He couldn't hold back any longer and came deep inside her at the same time.

And at the same time he had the beautiful idea that it would of course be much more intense if his seed was inside her now, and not in this stupid rubber, but it was definitely too early for that... Was it?

He stayed inside her, wanting to savor the feeling as long as he could. It was so incredibly nice to be so one with the person you really loved. They calmed down very, very slowly and he caressed her until they both drifted off into a light sleep, he still inside her.

*

At the same time at Richard's.

He woke up from a restless sleep, he had dreamed that he had hooked up with some groupies again and that he had had a threesome with two girls and had been caught by Paul. By Paul? How did he think of that now? Unbelievable.

He opened his eyes and looked at the other half of the bed. Tenderly he smiled, there she lay, his Sylvie and had turned her backside to him. He turned to her, gently stroking her back, noticing that she was slowly waking up. She pulled her blanket around her and turned to face him. They were both lying on their sides opposite each other, just looking at each other. He pulled her closer and kissed her, slowly and carefully at first, then more and more passionately.

And he had a morning wood, but what a one. Again? Yes, he was hot as a rat, and he had this incredible woman lying in bed, and he realized once again that it felt so good to wake up with the person you loved... wait, loved? Yes, he was in love, but loved? Was a big word for him, and was it really? Well, he thought she was hot, wanted to all the time, but love - in that sense?

She continued to kiss her way down him and disappeared under the covers. Uaaah, oh man, she embraced his best piece and spoiled him until the first drops of pleasure were felt. Then he just noticed that she took him in her mouth and lightly tugged at the foreskin with her teeth.

"Oooooh, yesssss, ohhhh..." That's as far as he got, because he came in her mouth - way too fast, way too hard. And she swallowed it all, wiping her mouth as she emerged again from the tangled mess of bed covers. She smiled at him as if this were the most normal thing in the world.

"You're really crazy, do you know that?" he spoke what he was thinking. She smiled sweetly at him.

"That may be, but you're not one bit better." Cheekily, she grinned at him. She lay down on her back again, and then her stomach could be heard grumbling loud and clear. Now it would be time for breakfast. She got up and toddled to the bathroom, which was right next to the bedroom. Then he heard her going to the bathroom. That was so delightfully normal, he hadn't had that in ages. The last time was with Margaux, but he didn't want to think about how it had all turned out.

He peeled himself out of bed and in turn groped into the kitchen to put on some coffee. And then she crept up on him quietly and hugged him from behind.

"Well, handsome, how about some eggs and bacon?"

She wanted to get past him to assemble the ingredients she needed, but he stopped her.

"Hey, you don't do anything right now and let me spoil you. After all, you just did that to me." He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a dirty grin.

"And remember? I'm a trained chef, so off you go and don't run, okay?"

She conceded defeat and wandered back toward the bedroom. She heard Richard humming a tune to himself and fiddling around in the kitchen. She lay back in her bed and closed her eyes. It was great with him, he was incredibly caring and so different from what the gossip press always made him out to be. At least that's what she had heard about him so far. She sighed. And slipped very slowly into a light sleep.

In the meantime, Richard had prepared the entire breakfast and was now standing in the doorway to the bedroom with a tray filled with plates, cups, scrambled eggs, bacon, orange juice, toast, as well as a thermos of coffee and a small pot of milk, and placed everything on the small nightstand next to his half of the bed.

He looked at the sleeping Sylvie and thought again with melancholy that they had to be back in Berlin on Thursday. He would have loved to run away with her, but he was far too disciplined for that.

He would not let his friends and colleagues down. He had done that once before, back when he had moved to New York to join Caron and the band had almost broken up after the "Mother" tour. How shitty he had felt then and the drugs had done the rest. He was so glad to be off the devil's stuff. Fine, he could smoke fewer cigarettes and cut out a drink or two. But hey, unlike the crappy times back then, it was all more than harmless these days.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked her beautiful face. Muttering softly, she woke up. And looked at him in love.
"Oh, I fell asleep. Sorry." She stroked her face sheepishly. He grinned at her.

"Breakfast, anyone?"
"Yes, please."

She sat up and he pulled the tray from the nightstand onto the bed. They ate breakfast leisurely, exchanging little endearments every now and then in between.

"What are we doing today, anyway?" inquired Richard.
"I don't have to go to the office today, I took two days off."
"How nice, then we could go out for a bit in the nice weather?" Richard was enthusiastic.
"I'd love to. How about it, do you want to go for a little walk along the Elbe or is that too much hotspot for you?", Sylvie asked him.
"Nah, it's fine," Richard answered her, chewing.

They dressed comfortably and left Sylvie's apartment in the direction of the Elbe.

*

Paul awoke in a very uncomfortable position. In his sleep he had slipped out of it and in his lower regions it all felt sticky. He desperately needed to take a shower. He tried to gently extricate himself from Jenny's embrace without waking her, and quietly slipped into her bathroom. Under the hot shower, he grew increasingly frisky, looking forward to spending a little over a day with his sweetie before he was back on the road.

He dried himself off and looked at his reflection in the mirror. And yes, he had to admit it, he looked exhausted, but also quite happy. He was beaming from the inside out, as the saying went, and he smiled at his reflection.

So, Paule, he said to himself, now let's go home, he wanted to see a bit more of Hamburg with his sweetheart before he went back to Berlin.

What kind of night? He hadn't felt so liberated in a long time. He looked thoughtfully at his best piece. He hadn't abandoned it, and that was a good thing. There were certainly some who, in their late fifties, could no longer do what they wanted. He had been spared that until now. And he hoped it would stay that way. As many times as he had come last night and tonight, unbelievable. And he hadn't expected Jenny to be in such a fierce mood. But as already said, he found it horny.

Paul noticed that something was stirring in his basement again. He wrapped a towel around his hips and slowly walked towards the kitchen to make some coffee. He needed it badly now. Whistling, he stood at the coffee maker pouring the hot brew into a large cup when he felt tender arms around him. He slowly turned around and looked into a tired, but also incredibly happy face. He left the cup and gently pulled her towards him. She came towards him and they sank into a gentle kiss that quickly grew more intense. She pushed herself towards him, naked as she was.

"Heyhey, wait, wait, this goes way too... Ooooh..." That's as far as he got, because Jenny sank down against him, in the middle of her kitchen, pulling the towel from his body and busying herself stroking and kissing his penis. He held on convulsively to the countertop and rested his head in his neck, moaning. Oh man, to be "worked" so intensely right after waking up, he could get used to that.

She tenderly stroked his testicles with light pressure and her tongue with said tongue piercing wandered lightly over his shaft. With her hands she pushed back his foreskin and rubbed with her thumb the first drops of pleasure on his hot hardness.

She looked up at him and now took him completely into her hot oral cavity. And what she did with her tongue and hands was forbidden good and he thrust very slowly. If she kept this up, he couldn't guarantee anything.

"Jenny, I…. I..." he moaned, and then it was done. He came with incredible force, again and again unloading into her mouth.
"You... you..." he gasped, "... you're killing me, I don't know what to say."

She slowly pulled back and continued to stroke him. With her other hand she wiped the corners of her mouth. He slowly sank down to his knees at the kitchen counter in her direction, but apparently she hadn't had enough yet and he felt that he hadn't had enough either. He was already getting hard again and with lust he didn't know where to put his thoughts.

He gathered all his strength and tried to get up and pull her along, which he succeeded in doing. She sat down on her kitchen table with spitted legs and reached behind her with one hand to catch one of the condom packs she had apparently spread all over her apartment.

Like in a cheap porno, he snatched the packet from her hand, pulled it open with his teeth and hastily rolled it over his best piece. He pulled her close to him by the hips and she impatiently wrapped her legs around his body. She clawed at his back. And then he penetrated her hot wet tightness. And again, it was harder than he was used to. Her fingernails scratched deep into his back, and he felt the pain, but it turned him on so much that he lifted one of her legs onto his shoulder to sink himself deeper and harder into her. With each thrust as he penetrated her, he groaned and his heart rumbled excitedly and hard in his chest.

She had her face contorted in strain, and by no means did he want to hurt her, but by then she was saying "Do it harder!" in a tone that brooked no argument. He bent her upper body back and thrust violently into her body. "Harder, I said!" she gasped breathlessly. She plunged her fingernails into his back and pulled his buttocks so close with one hand that he thought he was going to come out on top.

He moaned as the pain on his back increased, what was she doing to him? But he couldn't and wouldn't stop. He realized he was getting closer and closer to his climax and as her contractions tightened around his penis and she came with a scream and dropped her head backwards on the table, which must have been painful too, he realized how the condom broke and he spread his seed completely deep inside her.

Startled, he pulled back and ripped the rest of the rubber off his best piece.

"Oh shit, you've got to be kidding me. Sweetie, I think we have a problem!"
He somehow tried to get his breathing under control. But she, too, was still in another world and slowly regained consciousness, panting.

He disposed of the condom and was suddenly totally sure that the sex had led to the fact that she HAD to be pregnant, just as it had felt back then when he had conceived Emil and Lilly. Was it even possible to feel that as a man, wasn't that more the woman's job? He was completely finished.

Chapter Text

He slowly helped her up again. They were both so exhausted that they sat on the floor in the kitchen, both naked and both with a cup of coffee in their hands, which was thankfully still hot because he had forgotten to turn off the machine. Sometimes his shootiness was good for something after all.

She had leaned against him, and he tried again to explain to her that the condom had broken, because shortly after she had not been receptive and had only mumbled something unintelligible into her non-existent beard.

They had done it again, and in such an intense way that he realized he was getting hooked on it. Since when, please, had he been like this? He loved tenderness and little caresses. But hard sex? He rather suspected that with Till, but him? What else this woman tickled out of him was unbelievable. He did not recognize himself. Lost in thought, he looked ahead of him. And what unsettled him the most, he thought it was great and never wanted it any other way.

"Paul, please don't worry so much!" she addressed him. He looked at her uncertainly, had he said those last thoughts out loud?
"I'm on the pill. Don't worry, you haven't gotten me pregnant yet. As for the other thing, yes, I like it harder, but I didn't know about that either. You made me do it. However? And I think it's just as hot as you do!"

He HAD said it out loud, he was blushing, once again embarrassed beyond belief.

"Hey, and don't be embarrassed," she continued to speak.
"It's all perfectly fine." She smiled at him and lightly stroked his arm.
"I like the tenderness, too, but I like the other side, too. Such a mixture is nice."

She stood up slowly, thoughtfully, and pulled him along with her. They put their empty cups on the counter and went together to the bathroom to get rid of the traces of their union, which were really intense.

But as the warm water splashed on both their bodies, Paul hissed loudly and painfully. She looked at him, startled, and turned his back to her.

"Oh, crap, I hurt you, sorry, but I can't guarantee anything with an experience like that."

They got out of her shower and she carefully dried his back. He turned to the mirror and saw deep red scratches. And not to mention, he was so wobbly on his feet, he desperately needed a break.

They got dressed again and snuggled on the couch with a little breakfast. Tenderly, he kissed her again and again. But Paul's mind was on a roller coaster, he had to tell her his realization. After all, he was a father of two and knew what he was talking about. Or was he thinking too much again?

"Jenny, honestly, I know that it can be that I got you pregnant. Tell me, I've done it twice in my life, I know how it feels."

He looked down at the floor, ashamed, what a turd. But she lifted his chin so he could look into her eyes, into those indescribably beautiful eyes that were now sparkling at him. "Hey, so what if it is? Then it is and it should be."

Paul started to stutter. " But me in my late fifties, father again? Gosh, sweetie, we hardly know each other, we live in different cities, it's all... oh my." He exhaled heavily. But she reassured him. "Okay, so I'll take a pregnancy test, I promise. But until then, don't drive yourself crazy, you hear?"

She smiled at him and Paul calmed down to some extent. It didn't help at all, waiting again. This time for something completely different than news from the private detective. Once again, he had gotten himself into something really great. This could only happen to him.

He casually glanced at his wristwatch and was startled. Actually, they both wanted to go out together and explore the area. He straightened up and asked.

"Do you have any plans for today, sweetie? You know I have to go to the capital again," he asked her cautiously.

She smiled, and knowing that he loved the Baltic Sea, suggested that they take a trip there.

"How nice, yes, we could do that." Paul was thrilled, he loved the Baltic Sea, he was there quite often, as long as his time allowed and he was not touring with his boys or other important appointments.

"Okay, well up then." Jenny nibbled on his earlobe and tenderly stroked his left cheek.

"But I have to go to the hotel again, I still need a few things. Could we take a detour there?" He kissed her affectionately.

"Sure, I'll pack a small bag for one night." With that, she disappeared into the bedroom and Paul cleared the leftovers from breakfast into the kitchen and put the used dishes in the dishwasher.

"There, done!" Jenny came running out of her bedroom with a small travel bag in her hand.

"Man, that was fast, so for a woman!", Paul teased her and she nudged him against the arm in return.

They put on their jackets and shoes and slowly walked to Jenny's little runabout, which was parked in a side street. They stopped briefly at the hotel where Paul and Richard were staying.

"I hurry up, okay?" With that, Paul almost ran into the hotel and Jenny waited in the car. It didn't take long either and he also came back out of the hotel with a smaller bag, put it in the trunk and plopped down next to her.

"You're good to go, sweetie. Oh, how happy I am." He looked pleased and happy. And when Jenny, grinning, typed the address into her little navi, he looked astonished.

"Heiligenhafen? No, right? There we have a studio, do you know that? But a little out of the way of tourists."

Yes of course she knew that Rammstein also had a studio there, only where exactly that was, she did not know. And she wanted to see the studio, of course, she was also a bit curious how the man she loved and who sat next to her, did his job and what was needed for something as big as Rammstein. What that sounded like - the one she loved. Yes, it was much more than just being in love or having a crush - Paul had released things in her that she had never thought she had in her like that, especially when it came to sex.

"Do you want to spend the night there? Well, I don't mean at the studio, but maybe we can find a vacation rental for a night? It's not the season anymore, so we should be able to find something, right?" she asked him further.

He looked at her lovingly. "We could spend the night in the studio, there are a few rooms on the second floor, we've spent the night there many times, it's no problem," he answered her and proudly held up the condom packet that he had taken along as a precaution.

"Well, we don't need that anymore!" she said in a tone of conviction and Paul's facial features slipped and he started to stutter again.

"But... but you haven't taken a test yet. You don't know." He felt sick at the thought. How please was he supposed to deal with this and especially if she really was pregnant, did he have to tell the other boys? How would Richard react, like his children? They were both adults, and then he came along with an infant, which he had conceived with his random Hamburg acquaintance, just because he couldn't control himself.

As hard as they slept together, it was no wonder. Even the best condom broke. And even if Jenny took the pill, you couldn't be one hundred percent sure. Oh man, this was all maddening! He looked cautiously at his left side.

She smiled again. "True, but I guess I'm allowed to tease you a little bit, right?" She continued to grin and drove onto the A1 towards Fehmarn.

*

Richard and Sylvie happily strolled through downtown Hamburg. There was so much to discover here, too. Hamburg was so different from Berlin, much cleaner and the drivers were also mostly more relaxed. Richard found that very pleasant.

Also the fans kept within limits, he was not as dolled up as usually, but in T-shirt, jogging pants and cap on the road. He actually looked like most of the men here. But with the difference that behind the "normal" facade hid a superstar, which he did not want to be. He didn't want all this fuss, it really got on his nerves. He was a musician, well, a famous musician, but first and foremost he was a human being. And he was one who was pining for a permanent relationship, because his last relationships had all ended badly and sadly. And unfortunately he also knew that he was not completely innocent of it, after all HE could not be faithful. He wondered again how it would be again on tour? He desperately wanted to be faithful to his Sylvie, but unfortunately the flesh was weak there again, even if the spirit was willing.

"Are you all right?" she asked as well. Richard looked down at Sylvie who had hooked up with him, looked at that beautiful and loving face and was suddenly very sure that none of the frilly groupies would stand a chance at the meet & greets. He was excited, like on his very first date, and realized that butterflies were dancing in his stomach too.

Perhaps the increasingly close contact with his guitarist colleague was also a reason for his behavior here in Hamburg so far. His Paulchen. What would he be doing right now? Was he also as happy as he was? Had everything worked out, even with the little "problem" he had? He had to call him. Now!

"Hey, Scholle, what’s up?" a cheerful Paul answered when Richard had dialed his number. Richard grinned to himself, that sounded great, apparently everything had gone well.

"Naa, Paulchen, how is it with you and your sweetie?" asked Richard.

"Everything is so fine, you won't believe it. We are both on our way to Heiligenhafen right now."

Richard looked astonished. "Oh, you want to show her our studio?"
"Yes, that too, but the Baltic Sea is always good, especially now, when the weather is still good. In November it's no longer so nice there, and we won't be back from tour until the end of November."

That was true, in winter there were also beautiful days, but in summer and autumn the Baltic Sea had a very special flair, which you didn't have anywhere else.

"Yes, you're right, Paul. Tell me, how long will you be there? Do we want to meet again all together tomorrow evening so as a preliminary farewell dinner, before we are both gone again?" asked Richard.

"Yes, we'll spend the night there and come back tomorrow during the day. When do we want to meet? About six in the evening?", Paul suggested.

Richard looked at his sweetheart, he had put his cell phone on speaker. She nodded, and Paul asked Jenny if that would be all right with her, too. General agreement.

"Let's go to the ‚Vier Jahreszeiten‘, the Grill is always so tasty."

"Oh noble, noble." Richard chuckled, they had been there many times when they were in Hamburg, the place was fancy-schmancy, but when it came to food Paul was right, it was incredibly delicious and the restaurant chef knew them, so it was certainly no problem to get a table there, which was not always easy for normal consumers. And especially a table that was somewhat separated, because on their last evening none of them felt like bumping into fans. Once in a while, even the two superstars had to be private!

"No objections, Paulchen. Then see you tomorrow and have fun at the Baltic Sea, don't swim so far out!", Richard said goodbye and could still hear Paul chuckling. He wrapped his arm around Sylvie's waist, and comfortably they strolled on.

Chapter Text

They drove off the A1 in the direction of Heiligenhafen along the country road, the nicer route. Just before reaching the town, Paul told his girlfriend to turn right onto a private road that wasn't really paved. They drove over a bumpy stretch of road, seemingly forever, only to stop in front of a fairly aging but still well-maintained house.

"Wow, this is very cool!" she gasped.
She parked the car and they both got out for now. Jenny had to let the place sink in. Everything seemed like a fairy tale, somehow enchanted. Now in October, there was also a bit of ground fog, which made the whole thing somewhat mystical.

Large lime trees lined the well-preserved house, which was designed in French style and looked like a chateau. In general, the area was not really so on the Baltic Sea to find, one felt more like in Brittany. No wonder Paul felt at home here. He loved France, especially the country's coasts. He was there often and gladly, if his limited time allowed it. He was also looking forward to Nantes and Brest, where they would still be making guest appearances during the next three weeks of their tour, even though he was already missing his sweetheart.

He wrapped his arms around her tenderly and slowly they walked over to the house.

Nervously, Paul unlocked the front door. He was glad that the key was on his keychain, his scatterbrainedness had once been suspended, otherwise they would have looked quite stupid now. Although it could be that Richard also had his key with him, but whether this was also in Hamburg, Paul was not so sure.

Had they cleaned up the last time they were here, or was it still as messy as it was the last time they were here? Paul was embarrassed, because where six gentlemen lived alone somewhere and made music, it could sometimes be a little messier, especially with empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, etc. - you knew that.
Cautiously he peeked through the door first, well, looked okay. He held the door open for Jenny and slowly they entered the "hallowed halls".

Jenny was overwhelmed by the house, everything was stylishly furnished and everywhere lay started texts around, also partly private utensils of them.

"Oh look, I've been looking for this one for a long time." Paul lifted a striped sweater that he had apparently missed in Berlin. He grinned, probably the things he was always looking for were to be found in the various studios and rehearsal rooms of his.

He took Jenny by the hand and they walked down the stairs into the studio proper. There were various instruments scattered around and - of course - used coffee cups and glasses.

"Sorry, we last had stuff recorded here a few months ago, no one cared to do the dishes anymore.", Paul mused.

"Don't you have a cleaning lady to do it?"

"No, it'll come to that. We'll do it ourselves. We're not like that, that someone has to carry our asses."

Jenny nods her head appreciatively; she hadn't expected them to be as down-to-earth as they were. Apparently all six Rammsteiner were more like normal people there.
Paul peered into the refrigerator, which stood in the next room from the studio.

"Oh, empty. Well, you could have guessed that. There's nothing there, so if you want to drink something, we'll have to go to the coffee shop or to the restaurant. By the way, we go to the "Alte Scheune" quite often, they know us there, we can still go there today if you want."

"Well, I'd like to make myself comfortable here alone with you. So we have to go shopping."
"Okay, well then, first we pack the clothes from the car and then we wiggle to the supermarket, is not far, around the corner, so to speak."

He was about to leave for the car, but Jenny held him back and snuggled up to him. "Not without a kiss first, handsome man." Paul didn't need to be told twice and tenderly embraced Jenny's waist and pulled her a little closer. Gently he kissed her and stroked her cheek with one hand.

"It's so nice to have you, little one. I don't know what it would be like if you hadn't saved me, so to speak."
He noticed that a small tear was already making its way out of his left eye, but he bravely swallowed it away. Then he abruptly turned around and got both of their bags out of the car.

*
Jenny and Paul strolled leisurely through the supermarket with their shopping cart and bought a few odds and ends, there was nothing more to get, after all they were only there until tomorrow.

Paul went into the next aisle to load up some more olives and baguettes, when suddenly a squeal sounded from around the next corner and two psyched teenage girls rushed at Paul. He was so startled because he wasn't expecting it, flinched noticeably and almost dropped the olives and baguette. Jenny was just in the other aisle and only heard the shouting. She quickly packed the bottle of wine into the shopping cart and made to get to Paul.

"Paul? Paul Landers? How nice, can we get a picture, please, please." The two girls were already pulling out their cell phones and the one, fatter girl immediately grabbed his arm without loss and pulled him along to her friend.

"Heyhey, stop! You can do that a little less rough, yeah?" Jenny had put herself between Paul and the one girl and put her hands on her hips.

"Who are you, huh?" came a sour and aggressive voice from the girl. Paul had regained his composure to some extent, carefully pulled the one girl's arm off his shoulder and moved a little distance away.

He stood at Jenny's side, put an arm around her waist. "This is my girlfriend. Do you mind?" he explained a bit snottily. He wasn't usually so unfriendly to fans and was usually in a good mood, but this direct assumption of his person by the two of them was really getting on his nerves. Just because he was here privately.

The two girls gave each other a pissed-off look.

"Oh yeah, we thought you were happily married. What does your Arielle say about that?" They posed, not at all eager for a photo with him right now.

Jenny was about to burst and had a hard time controlling herself. Just as she was about to start saying something again, Paul just gave her a look that was supposed to say shut up.

He cleared his throat and tried to breathe very calmly.
"First of all, I don't have to give an account to you, what I do in private is none of your business. And secondly, I would have given you a photo, but the way you treat me and insult my girlfriend, you can forget it. I hope you have understood that now?"

He put on his grimmest face he could manage, hooked up with Jenny and they both turned on their heels to push their shopping cart as quickly as possible to the checkout and then out of the store. He was upset, didn't really know such a thing about himself, but the way the two of them had behaved was out of line, even if he was a superstar and in the public eye. They paid hastily, there wasn't a big line at the checkout, and almost stormed out of the store.

Paul frantically packed the things into the trunk and just left the shopping cart in the parking lot. Then he drove away with squealing tires.

Jenny was also so angry at the whole thing, but slowly calmed down again. Paul was driving like a pig right now, she herself couldn't drive right now, the situation she had just experienced was weighing too heavily on her. She tried to breathe in and out deeply.

She tenderly put a hand on his right forearm, soothing him with it.

"Calm down, Paul, it's not going to help anyone that we have an accident now. We wanted to have a quiet evening here in Heiligenhafen."
She bent to the left and gave him a little kiss on his right cheek.

There was a gasp from him, but he calmed down and slowed down again. It wasn't that far to the studio, after all.

"You're right, kid, I just don't want them to show up here and harass us. I'll really call the cops, you know."

Still a little pissed off, he parked the car and they carried the groceries into the house. Then Paul locked the front door - you never know - and they made themselves comfortable on the sofa with the food and wine.

There was also a fireplace. Till had chopped wood last while they were there, and stacked it neatly on the shelf next to the fireplace. So Paul lit the fireplace now so they would be cozy, after all it was late October. And in a little over a month, it was his birthday. 57! My, how time passed.

He had turned on some soft music, this time no rock, but the piano version of their songs, which they had recorded years ago with a pianist, and where he was still grateful to Till for the idea to do something like that. The music fit the mood well and Paul snuggled up to his sweetheart.

*
That night Paul got his money's worth. Jenny and he had mutually decided to sleep together tenderly and without haste. As if in slow motion, he had undressed her in one of the bedrooms where he usually stayed alone when they were in the studio. Shivering, she had also stripped him of his clothes and now she was writhing under him.

As he slowly sank his finger inside her, he realized she was more than ready for him. He stroked his finger over the damp skin in her hot tightness and added another. With his other hand he rubbed a little harder over her left nipple. Moaning, she came to meet him and now tried to put him on his back, which she succeeded in doing, but only halfway, because Paul spread his legs and leaned against a pillow with pleasure.

He himself was not really hard yet, but she took care of that lovingly now. She tenderly stroked his testicles and buried her face in his lap now. Very slowly she played around his member with her lips and used her tongue piercing skillfully once again, so that Paul really had to bite his lip so that he didn't start moaning without restraint.

What such a piece of metal could trigger in the tongue of the beloved person, he would never have thought possible. She very slowly stroked his first drops of pleasure and took them in. He clawed at her hair and came towards her with his pelvis, but not too violently. What she was doing to him was outrageously erotic, especially the look she was giving him.

"Oh... ooooh, kiddo ...." But she covered his mouth, grinned diabolically and continued to take care of his best little friend, who was now slowly swelling and throbbing hotly.

If she kept this up, he couldn't guarantee anything. Slowly she released his mouth again and also his twitching hardness. For her part, she now lay on her back and spread her legs wide.

Paul could no longer control himself.

He frantically grabbed his member and penetrated her. No thought of condoms or anything else. His horniness drove him forward, and even though he had sworn to himself that they would take it slower, he thrust into her harder and faster.

She clawed at his back again and gripped his ass tighter, pushing him even more directly on top of her.

He held onto the bed frame with both arms again and listened intently as they joined, as their two bodies slapped against each other, as their bodily fluids spread over both of their bodies, and after a long drawn out "Aaaaah..." as he spread a plethora of semen deep inside her that wouldn't stop flowing out of him.

They both came at the same time, and exhausted, he dropped down on top of her, holding his sweetness very tightly, and she clung to him. Both their hearts beat stumblingly in the same fast beat and on the verge of unconsciousness they slowly came back to reality.

He took her face in both hands and as he slowly slid out of her.

"Babe, I love you. Do you actually know that??"

He covered her face again and again with little kisses as he remembered boiling hot that they had not used a condom this time. Startled, he looked at her.

"Jenny, we did it without a condom...do you know what that means? I'm such an ass too. I fucked up again.
He slowly rolled off her and pulled her with him.

"Did you actually take a pregnancy test?"

She grinned at him.

"Yes, I did, it was negative."

She snuggled against his side.

"Well, at least that's something. But what about today?"

"I don't know, but I would love to have a child with you!"

"Really now? But I'll be seven in a few weeks. I have two kids, no idea if I can start something with such a little worm again."

He was so unsure.

"Paul, you're already a great father. Don't you think you would be, too, if I were pregnant now?"

"Hm, maybe, maybe not."
He furrowed his brow.
"Hm..." He looked directly at her, then smiled. "Honestly, sweetie? It would be cute to raise another little human like that, wouldn't it? All good things come in threes, or something like that?"

She grinned at him again. "That's it! And now don't worry so much again. You'll see it all!"

She looked down at herself and he looked at his best part. Oha, that needed a shower, definitely.

Chapter Text

The next day they packed the few things they had taken with them, and Paul was glad that he had heard nothing more from the disturbed fans. For that, Jenny had read some info on Instagram, where apparently these two girls had made fun of Paul and her. They had even uploaded a blurry photo, which they had apparently taken when they packed the groceries into the car. The license plate was pixelated, or they really would have notified the police. It was enough that - even if blurred - a picture of her with Paul circulated on the Internet.

*

"Look, they have the one from last time, which tasted so good," Paul was pleased and grinned in the round. Richard was having a great time with his colleague and best friend, he was so detached, so cheerful, there was nothing to notice about the whole mess he had been through and which still needed to be cleared up. Speaking of clearing up:

"Tell me, Paul, have you heard from Mr Mueller again?" Richard asked him directly.
Paul looked at him, startled; he hadn't expected that and had completely pushed the whole topic aside in the last few days.

"No, I haven't heard anything from Mr Mueller. Do you think I should call him and ask him?" Paul looked directly at Richard.

"Hm, no, I think he wanted to get in touch as soon as there was news. They'll take care of it. You're distracted at the moment, and starting tomorrow, the tour goes into the last round for this year. I don't think you need any more excitement." He grinned at him.

"Yeah, that's right. Say, kid, what do you think about visiting me in France? We are at the end of a tour in Nantes, Brest and Lyon. It's spread over several days, because the crew has to dismantle and reassemble the giant stage again and again. So you have to reckon with a little over a week. Around the end of November?" he turned to Jenny.

She looked at him in amazement, hadn't really expected it, and was as happy as a little child about Paul's suggestion. "Um, I'd love to. I'll just have to ask Kalle if that's even possible." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"It'll work out, Kalle and I have talked about it before. Maybe it's possible."

He hugged her tightly. Richard continued to smile to himself. Paul was happy with his Jenny, you could see it in his face. He was very happy about it. How long had Paul suffered when Arielle had left him? He was no longer himself - he, who was always a sunshine, who always saw everything casually, who laughed constantly and sometimes also annoyed his fellow men with it.

What Jenny had achieved was admirable. He was also no longer so insecure, apparently this woman did everything right. That was really nice to see. I wonder if the sex was as nice. Richard grinned dirty to himself, but didn't see Paul looking at him in amazement.

"Whats up?", he asked now also immediately. Richard grinned again. In the presence of their two wives he couldn't ask Paul something like that, of course, but later in the hotel or tomorrow in the car, he could ask that.

"Um, nothing, I'll tell you tomorrow on the drive, okay?"
Paul was very curious, though, and wasn't going to let Richard off the hook so easily.
"Oh come on, Scholle, you're not just grinning dirty to yourself. What's wrong?"

Richard squirmed like an eel. And because he couldn't think of anything better to say, he feigned a spontaneous fit of weakness by almost toppling off the side of his chair. Sylvie, startled, held him by the arm and tried to pull him back up, which, being a woman, was not so easy.

"Richard, what is it?" She looked very concerned and stroked his arm lightly. Richard groaned, rolled his eyes theatrically and dropped even further, like a wet sack. Paul couldn't stand by and reached across the table, almost sweeping the plates off the table, and in such a noble restaurant as the Grill at the Vier Jahreszeiten Hamburg.

"Scholle, what have you got there? Are you not feeling well? Come outside with me, the fresh air will do you good." Richard clung to Paul's arm, which looked funny because Paul was a little smaller than he was.

Slowly and with wobbly legs, Richard walked by Paul's side through the front door of the restaurant, and outside they sat down on a small bench to which Paul had directed Richard and from which one had no view into the restaurant and, of course, vice versa.

"So, my good man, now you can leave the show. So, what's going on?" Paul stood in front of him with his arms crossed and grinned at his best friend.

Richard knew he couldn't hide anything from him. He always came up with something to get where he wanted to go. His Paulchen, he was already a crazy guy. But he loved him for it.

He rummaged in his pants pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes that was a little dented. Trembling, he lit one.

"Gee, Paulchen, you can drive the whole world crazy. Wouldn't it have been enough if I had told you tomorrow why I was grinning so dirty earlier?", Richard started the conversation.

Paul sat down next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder.
"Nah, Scholle, because if you're grinning so stupidly, there can only be some dirt behind it below the belt. So please, I am curious" He did not let up.

Richard gave in.
"Alright, so that's finally quiet. I was wondering earlier, when you were sitting together with your sweetie so unanimously, whether sex also works so unanimously with you. You're grinning like a honey-cake horse all the time, and I guess everything is so okay in that respect, too. Right?"
Richard rubbed his hands together and looked directly at Paul.

Paul nervously slid back and forth on the small bench. Richard now again, this was private. But that was something the Mr Kruspe totally whistled at.

Just because he blurted out every sordid detail of his affairs and put it on every one of them, whether you wanted to or not, he didn't have to do that either.
Well, he was quite shameless in parts, but only on stage, so as a show. For example, he had no problem at all performing half naked. Why also, he was and remained in this regard Ossi through and through?

Richard was a bit different. Well, he was also born in the eastern part of Germany, but still. He had only really lived out his sexuality since the fall of the Wall, Paul had discovered it much, much earlier than he had. And tried out everything that worked and that he enjoyed. He had also had his experiences with men. It wasn't his thing, he had discovered early on, but at least he could have a say.

Sometimes he also had the feeling that Richard would have liked to have this experience, because he had noticed so often that Richard only felt really comfortable with men and could let go. With women, he was usually tense. With Sylvie, too. The way he'd held her tense earlier, as if she'd run screaming if he didn't parry the way she thought he would. There was a whole lot of uptightness and panic coming across, which unfortunately was to be found in Richard's earliest youth. As already told a thousand times, he was never good enough for himself and needed the constant confirmation of others. Richard Z. Kruspe himself was actually rather shy and not THE womanizer par excellence, even if he liked to cultivate this image.

Paul gave himself a jolt.
"All right. But only because you are. The sex is amazing, Scholle! I've never experienced it like that before. For example, I never knew I could be so hard. The first two times it was really dirty with all the details like dirty talk and bondage with a penetration that had nothing but nothing to do with tenderness. And the whole thing started from her. And you know what, I didn't know that I could find it good. But I found it super cool and still do. We have the whole time with condom and in Heiligenhafen without. And you know what else? I'm not sure if I'll ever be a dad again."

Paul swallowed hard and Richard looked at him, startled.

"Oh, Scholle, can you imagine that? Me again with a little worm? Somehow I think it's pretty cute."

Paul mocked and Richard joined in. Paul was a great father and he would be a great father with another new child.

"Isn't Jenny on the pill?" inquired Richard innocently. He nibbled on his lower lip.

"Yes, she had taken them off in the meantime, because se thought after her last relationship, there nothing anyway more in this direction. But now it's happening again. I don't know, we haven't known each other for long, maybe she was too short with taking the pills." He grinned again.

"Okayyyy. And that means in plain language, you have to watch out despite the pill, so at least now? And if condom break, then she might be pregnant despite pill? So it's like fifty-fifty?"

Paul shrugged his shoulders.

"Uhm, that would be way too much trouble for me." Richard shook his head.

He listened inside himself for a moment. Would he want to do that again, perhaps? Then he would have four children by four different women. Which wouldn't really bother him, either. But it was much too early for that. He had only just met Sylvie. And Paul his Jenny too. It was all crazy how fast it could go.

Did his Sylvie even take the pill? They hadn't talked about that either. Man, all this couldn't be true. They had both somehow ignored the simplest things about women, when Paul in particular had always been so tidy. Well, the last few years he didn't have to chase after them anymore, he had his wife, but now? Now everything was different. And Paulchen popped like a rabbit with a woman he knew only a few days. This fact alone was more than unusual. Richard chuckled to himself.

And he himself was no different. They were both more than adults and didn't pay attention to the simplest contraceptive things? Or only rather secondarily. THAT was frightening.

*

Suddenly the two women were standing in front of them. Jenny looked at Paul with a wink, because of course she had realized that Richard had by no means had a fit of weakness, but that her dear Paul had not been able to satisfy his curiosity and had to come up with something. And his best buddy had played along like a movie. They were already two whistles. Sylvie hadn't noticed, but only because Richard just wasn't as much of an open book as Paul either.

"Hey, honey. Feeling better?" She sat down between Paul and Richard and tenderly stroked his face. Richard nodded a little dumbfounded. Then he straightened and smiled at her.
"Yes, definitely. Don't worry about it." He kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "What do you think about going to the Lunacy for one last nightcap." Paul looked at Richard in amazement. What Mr Kruspe knew, unbelievable. That he knew his way around Berlin, well, that was understandable. But in Hamburg?

Both ladies looked at each other, they hadn't been there for ages. The pub in a side street of the Reeperbahn was small, but it had a nice crowd and every now and then a DJ would play. And since Richard and Paul, despite their age, had remained little gambling boys somewhere, there was of course a foosball table in the corner. And if it wasn't occupied, the two of them could occupy themselves there, while the ladies could talk about this and that. Sometimes the men didn't have to know everything either.

And of course, only rock was played there. Paul shook his head in amusement. But Richard also knew almost half the world.

"Who has now actually paid in the restaurant?" He pointed behind him to the "grill". "Don't worry, Paul, Sylvie took care of that." Jenny hooked up with him and the four of them headed for the little pub.

And the later evening went just as they thought it would. The men played foosball and cheered loudly when one of them won. And Jenny and Sylvie finally had time to talk and address topics that only women were concerned with.

"And you really think you might be pregnant by Paul? But you're on the pill, aren't you? Oh my. But actually, that sounds wonderful. Do you actually want children?"

Sylvie was more excited than Jenny and smiled sweetly at her. Jenny didn't have to think about it at all. She had tried to get pregnant with her ex-boyfriend for a long time, but somehow it didn't work out and at some point the relationship failed because of that. And then she had been alone for a long time, throwing herself into work and not giving any thought at all to having children. She sighed.

"Hm, somehow I had already closed this topic for me, that's why I had also stopped taking the pill. Because I thought there would be no one else anyway with whom I could imagine having more. But with Paul it's different. I can really imagine anything, even a child."

She stared ahead, dreaming. Her Paul, whom she had only known since last week and whom she had already grown so fond of that she couldn't even think about the fact that he was now on tour for three weeks. She would miss him so much, even if there was Skype and WhatsApp.

She realized that he had become a part of her. Without him, she only felt half. She had really fallen in love - nope, completely different, she loved him as he was, with all his strengths and of course weaknesses. She loved his scatterbrainedness, his sincerity, his sunny disposition and yes, sex with him too. It was great and he was always concerned that HIM was doing well, not just that he was getting his money's worth. And he had already suffered when she buried her fingernails in his back and he looked like he had been beaten.

She loved his unsparing honesty and how he had defended her to the so-called fans in Heiligenhafen. He didn't care what the net would say. And once again she did not understand why Arielle could leave such a man. Paul was a treasure that finding was like finding the Holy Grail. Actually impossible and yet that's exactly what had happened to her. And she was so proud of him. He had somewhat repressed this whole shitty thing with his ex-wife.

On the other hand, of course, he could also get on your nerves terribly when he harped on a topic that you could only run away from, and he partout didn't see when he was wrong.

She was curious to see what this detective had found out. Maybe he had already contacted Paul. She really had to ask him.

"Sounds really nice. You two make a cute couple, too." Sylvie was honestly pleased with herself. Then she got serious again.

"Hey, what's up?" Jenny had immediately recognized that something was wrong with Sylvie. She put an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. Then she noticed that she was crying softly. What was going on now?

"I don't know what Richard thinks about something like that. I don't know how he really feels about us either. Maybe I'm just a nice distraction. Looking at what the media is writing and his womanizing?" She sighed and sniffled. But at that exact moment, Richard came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.

"Hey, guess who finally beat Mr Landers?" he gloated, kissing her stormily on the cheek. Then he started to wonder. "Sweetie, what's wrong? You're crying."

He sat down on the third stool at their table. Paul had gone to the bathroom in the meantime.

"Oh nothing, you'll be fine," Sylvie tried to get out of it.

"Nothing there, you do have something." Richard didn't let up.

Jenny excused herself to disappear into the loo as well.

"Well, I just don't know where I stand with you, Richard. You don't make plans, you're there and it's nice with you too, but I feel there's always such a barrier. When I look at Jenny and Paul, there's a unity, nothing fits between them - and after such a short time."
She was looking directly at him now. "And also your constant chick talk. What's it like on tour, do you take a willing groupie to the hotel every night?" She stood in front of him, heart pounding.

"What, nope, um, used to be more...not anymore. And ... and ..." stammered Richard. "I mean, we haven't known each other that long. We have to get to know each other first, don't we? And...." He didn't get any further, because she interrupted him.

"Can you imagine becoming a father again?"

Bang! That had hit home. Richard was stunned. Wow, that was quite an announcement. He hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. Could he imagine becoming a father again? He listened intently.

In the meantime, the two lovebirds came back from the bathroom. Holding hands, cuddling and just happy. Yes, that's exactly what they were - happy. Somewhat enviously, he looked at his girlfriend, who was still looking at him and waiting for an answer. He lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Why are you asking that now of all times, sweetie? I'm a father of three. My youngest is now 12, and I love all three of them dearly. I really can't tell you at this point if I want to be a father again. All I can tell you is that if I do, I can only imagine having a child with you." That sat, also with Sylvie.

"Oh, you can be scary. I'm not talking about having a kid right now either, but looking into the future like that?"

Richard looked quite relieved. Then he smiled at her, Paul and Jenny stood a little indecisively beside her.

"Hmm, why not, actually?" He grinned all over his face, pulled Sylvie close to him and sank his tongue into her longing mouth. He bent her backwards and almost the two of them would have slid off the stools if Paul hadn't once again provided assistance. Richard now again, unbelievably.

"Um, sorry, yes, we both would like to fall into bed after all."

Richard reluctantly gave Sylvie's mouth up. "Okay." he mumbled and she bit her lips with a smile.

"Breakfast no later than nine, or we won't get to the capital on time and Till will rip both our heads off." Paul grinned slyly.

"And don't get too carried away!" Richard called after them, and Paul stuck his tongue out at him. Then they slowly left the small pub. Richard turned his attention back to his girlfriend.

Lunacy - small pub at Hamburger Berg (https://lunacy-bar.business.site/)

Chapter Text

Paul lay next to his Jenny and stroked her, deep in thought. He thought about his entire situation in the last few days. What had he not experienced with this incredible woman? She was wonderful, distracting him from his marital fiasco, and he realized more and more that she was doing very, very good. He was happy and somehow liberated. He was no longer biting into things he couldn't change anyway. He couldn't change his sadness either, but at least Jenny made it more bearable.

She mumbled a little to herself as she turned to face him. Then she slowly opened her eyes and he kissed her tenderly.

"Kid, I am so insanely happy with you. I don't know what to say anymore. Everything just fits together so beautifully. I'm no longer afraid of the information from Mr Mueller. In the meantime, I couldn't care less what comes next. I can't change it, and I don't want to anymore." He looked at her pensively in the dim light.

"Sounds good to me, Paul. I feel exactly the same way. I can't imagine life without you anymore. It's just that when I think about the next three weeks, it makes me feel different. I'm going to miss you so much."

She snuggled closer to him and slowly stroked his chest. Then she leaned over him and kissed him passionately on his tattooed neck. Paul noticed that she was stirring something in his bottom floor.

It was her last night for now and he didn't want to leave without making love to her. Slowly he rubbed up against her, pulling the offending plumeau aside. They were both naked except for their underpants.

He propped himself up next to her head and watched her closely. Her beautiful eyes that were now slowly falling shut, her curls that he loved to tousle around in, her beautiful mouth that was just inviting to be kissed. He slowly crawled down her and took off her panties. She arched up to meet him and he kissed his way further down.

"Oh Paul....," she moaned slowly, choppily.

He grinned inside himself. Then he buried his head in her lap and very slowly began to lick her most sensitive spot. She spread her legs and buried her hands in his short hair. In doing so, she found no grip and instead held onto his right shoulder. She tasted so good, like a woman, like lust, just like sex. She was more than ready for him. He kissed his way back up over her belly and instead let his left hand disappear down her body. She squirmed under him and gasped.

But this time he had taken precautions. He fished the condom packet from the nightstand with his right hand and quickly removed his boxers. As he did so, he turned sideways and pulled her with him, so that she was now lying half on top of him.

She smirked. "Let me do that!" With that, she took the package from his hand and ripped it open. Now he was lying under her, legs spread as well, and slowly she rolled the condom over his throbbing hot hardness. He was so ready too. She slowly lowered her body over him and he gently penetrated her. Tenderly he held her hips fixed with both hands and threw his head into her neck. They immediately found a slow rhythm, but she wanted more and so did he.

"Take me harder, Paul!" she moaned above him and gently bit his larynx. He didn't have to be told twice. He pressed her harder on top of him with his hands and thrust powerfully into her core. Now she supported herself behind her body on his legs and rode him faster. "Ooooh yesssss, harder..." She threw her head back as well and he rubbed her pearl firmly with one hand to give her even more pleasure. They were both sweating and panting in turn.

She pressed her body tightly against him and he spun them both around. Then he lifted both her legs onto his shoulders so he could penetrate her even deeper. She had her arms raised and was clawing at the bed frame. He pulled her hips closer and thrust as hard as he could. As he did so, he firmly massaged her breasts. He loved this mix of hardness and tenderness and moaned as loudly as she did, not giving a shit if anyone could hear them. He had always been loud during sex and he wouldn't want to change that.

Jenny kept coming for him and he kept sliding out of her, only to take her harder right then. His lower abdomen softened, he noticed the approaching orgasm. With her, everything in the lower abdomen also contracted and with a simultaneous scream they both came violently.

Very slowly they both moved back into the here and now.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and he pressed into her once or twice more before slowly withdrawing from her. He was so done that he didn't even manage to pull the condom off his cock to dispose of it. He never wanted to get up and die in her arms like that again. Oh yeah, what a beautiful idea!

But alas, that was not possible. She smilingly removed the condom from him and threw it into the small trash can next to the hotel bed. Then she snuggled up close to her Paulchen and he stroked her tenderly.

"That was madness. Kid, you're really killing me. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few weeks without you."

"Me neither." Jenny was still a little out of breath. "But maybe it'll work out for the end of November."

"Man, that's got to work. Next time you're on duty, ask Kalle what he thinks." He pulled the plumeau over her again, but Jenny slowly shook her head.

"First shower, then sleep. I don't feel comfortable sleeping all sticky like that, even if it's not my bedding."

"Okay, together then." Paul grinned. She raised an eyebrow, knowing they weren't just going to shower.

Slowly and a little shakily, the two of them staggered toward the shower. Soaping each other up, they made out like teenagers under the hot spray. With Jenny everything was easy, she was simply to kneel down. What she then also directly energetically implemented, because she slowly stroked his flanks in the direction of the south and went on his knees.

She embraced his still soft member and kissed it gently. Then she licked tenderly over it and gently kneaded his testicles. He tried to hold on somewhere in the shower stall and found only the tiled soap dish. She pressed him against the tiles and worked his best friend slowly and persistently with her mouth. Paul got hot and cold at the same time and he gasped out his lust loudly.

"Honey, what are you doing to me? I come......", he did not get any further, because he came, violently and quickly. Jenny had again used her tongue piercing perfectly and that gave him an extra kick.

She swallowed it all, then washed her mouth out under the shower spray. She sat down now, probably unable to get up at all. He sat down next to her and took her in his arms.

"We're already crazy, aren't we?"

She nodded. "But what are we supposed to be normal about? Already your job is not normal. So it's all good."

"Did I ever tell you that I really had a crush on you? With all the trimmings. I think it's... um, love?"

He pulled her even closer, so that no more sheets fit between them. She kissed him and pulled him close. "Yes, you did. But I can hear it all the time. I love you too, Paul, and more than I ever knew I would. I also never thought I could fall in love with someone so quickly. You are one of a kind and I never want to let you go."

A few tears did come to Paul's eyes now. How sweet she had said that. "Ick love da ooch. Ick bin eijentlich nicht so der, der dit ständig aussprechrechn muss, aba bei dir fällt ma dit leicht." He continued to grin at her. Then he looked at the big clock in the bathroom above the door and was startled.
"Well, if we don't turn off the water right away and go to bed, I'll never get to the capital tomorrow."

She stroked his cheek, kissing away his tears. "Heyhey, don't cry again. It's all good after all." He cleared his throat and swallowed down the new tears that were welling up. Please, not all that sissy stuff again. He'd had enough of that for good.

He slowly stood up and turned off the stream of water, Jenny holding onto him and gathering herself up as well. Then he grabbed a big towel and put them both in it. Closely embraced, they got into bed together and snuggled up to each other.

Paul yawned heartily and thought to himself, no wonder with the efforts, one is no longer the youngest. Smiling contentedly, he drifted off to sleep.

*

Richard and Sylvie had stayed in the small pub. They played foosball against each other with a few guests, and it became another loud and humid night. No thought of possible sleep. Richard was more exuberant than he had been in a long time and so happy that his sweetheart was there, too. He just couldn't be alone. And also he was not allowed to think about the fact that he was on tour for three weeks.

How could he stand that? Well, his boys were there and the crew and they had one appointment after the next. But at night he would be lying in his hotel bed all alone, probably brooding to himself as usual about what if. He hated that so much. something had gone wrong there in his childhood that he couldn't be alone with himself like that at all. He also needed something to do all the time, be it writing lyrics, composing, watching weird movies and series, sports, sex... But just hanging out in nature like Till or even Flake, fishing, walking, hiking, etc. - that was completely lost on him.

"Haaa, won - again!" came loudly from Sylvie, who was happy that she had won again. Richard was a sore loser, he was annoyed and you could clearly see it on his face. "I'll be outside for a minute, okay?" he said grumpily, and with that he grabbed his cigarettes and disappeared outside the little pub.

Silently he sucked the smoke into his lungs and looked at the clear sky above him. The whole party crowd could be found in the small side street. A teeming mass of people. Unbelievable.

"Hey, aren't you the guitarist from Rammstein?" came just then from two women, who, dressed dead smart, pushed past all the others. Richard looked up and looked at the two. If they were old, then maybe around thirty. Both very pretty and both also with more than "wood in front of the Hüttn", as one said so nicely. He smiled and nodded.

"Can you take a picture with us?" asked the taller of the two. He looked at her closely. Dark brown, almost black long hair, super figure, which was in a skin-tight black something that revealed more than it hid, not to mention the cleavage.
I wonder if the tits were real?
She wore long silver earrings and smelled seductive. There was something incredibly sensual about her mouth, and Richard scolded himself again for thinking such a thing at that moment, when his girlfriend was waiting behind him in the pub, whom he really liked incredibly much, even more than that, apparently.

He took a deep breath, stubbed out his cigarette in the outside ashtray and approached the two. "Sure thing. Then he took the cell phone of the one and held it over the three of them. As he did so, he had one arm wrapped around the brunette, who was now pressing in close to him.

Richard noticed that his knees were getting weak. He was so transparent, so incredibly sex-crazed, it just sucked, he scolded himself. He took three selfies and handed the phone back to the brunette.

"What are your names, anyway?" He wanted to know that now after all, there was nothing objectionable about it.

"I'm Kitty, actually Katrin, and this is Bine, so Sabine!" she introduced herself and her friend. The friend was no less pretty, as Richard noticed right after that. She was a bit shorter than Kitty, had wavy red hair - like Arielle, Richard suddenly had to think of Paul's ex - light blue eyes and was a bit curvier than her friend, but no less sexy and appealing.

If he didn't have a girlfriend right now, he would have jumped on both of them immediately, but he tried to control himself, even if it was anything but easy.

All of a sudden, the redhead took out a package from her clutch and gave some to her friend, offering something to Richard as well. "Well, something else to snack on?" At that she laughed friendly and winked at Richard. He wanted to wave it off, because he knew how this stuff worked, but the look in Bine's eyes was so hypnotic that he thought to himself, a little pill, what the heck, can't hurt. Only he had not considered that he had already had quite a bit of alcohol. The effect was not long in coming and Richard had to hold on to the wall.

"Come on, sweetie, where did you have to go. We'll take you.", Kitty let herself be heard again and they both hooked up with him. He told them the hotel and they accompanied him to the same.

No more thought of Sylvie, who was waiting for him in the little pub. No thought of Paul, of his Jenny, of Till and the others, and of course no thought that they had to leave for Berlin at 9:00 tomorrow morning.

Everything blurred in a diffuse fog, and Richard only realized again in his hotel room that he was not alone. He was lying on his bed and the two ladies were just getting rid of their clothes. Matt wanted to object, but he was too weak.

They both slowly came crawling onto his bed and slowly undressed him. As they did so, Kitty took care of Richard's upper regions and Bine took care of his lower region. And how they did it. Bine had taken care of his arousal and was sucking and licking him, he was hard, more than that and realized he WANTED it too! To be spoiled by two women at the same time was already horny.

But he also realized that this was all so wrong, but also could not get out of his skin. He could only think, shit Kruspe, you are a sex addict, all this is not normal!

Bine had now taken his hot hardness into her mouth and drove his shaft up and down as if in slow motion and took him deep into her mouth again and again. It wasn't the first time she'd done this. He had a brief flash of thought that maybe the two were professionals, after all they were on the Reeperbahn, but that didn't matter now.

First drops of pleasure formed on his shiny glans. Kitty had taken possession of his mouth. What she did alone with her tongue in his mouth was more than porn. She massaged his nipples and he in turn had his hands around her plump butt and kneaded it extensively.

Then they took turns and now Kitty had the opportunity to take care of his cock and Bine sat down next to him to kiss him. Kitty took care of his cock with her hand.

But it was time for him to take over. He gasped and half-heartedly tried to push the two ladies away, which he succeeded in doing.

And since Richard was also just a man, Kitty was now under him and he penetrated her without a condom and without any thoughts about his girlfriend. Bine had put her arms around him from behind and now turned his head so that she could kiss him. As she did so, she lightly bit his lower lip and he tasted blood. Funnily enough, this turned him on even more.

They found a panting rhythm and he came faster than he wanted and squirted off, deep inside Kitty.

After he had cleaned himself up to some extent, of course Bine wanted to get her money's worth. This he took from behind in doggy style while he kissed Kitty stormy. Bine was so wet and moist that he slipped out of her again and again. That didn't work like that. So he directed her back onto his bed, turned them both over and penetrated her all missionary-like.

But she wanted it harder than her friend and goaded him. "Harder!" she hissed at him and he complied. Now he could understand Paul too, that he found it horny, his Jenny was apparently like that too. It was so horny that it hurt, but he didn't care. He fucked Bine right through. There was nothing with love, there was only hard fast sex with two women who had turned him on so that he had to prove himself somehow! Even with her he came faster than expected and distributed his seed deep inside her.

And again - no thought of contraception or guilty conscience towards Sylvie - hadn't they talked about contraception and such last? Everything was so opaque and his brain so clouded that only one thing was important to him at the moment - good sex and orgasms to behold!

The whole thing lasted almost until the wee hours of the morning and all three got their money's worth several times... until...

... yes, until suddenly Sylvie stood in the bedroom door and let out a sharp scream...

Chapter Text

"Tell me, Scholle, what do you look like??", Paul wondered, when Richard staggered towards the breakfast table around half past eight. "Are you all right?" He was worried about his friend. Richard looked as if he had aged years, his clothes hung on half past eight and in general there was nothing at all to be seen of the handsome Richard. Stubbly chin, bags under his eyes, smeared makeup, red eyes, and he didn't smell good either.

This was not the way to do it. Paul pulled him to the table and took care of breakfast, even for Richard, who seemed unable to get anything from the buffet himself at the moment.

"Here, first a coffee, the other one will come soon. Do you want eggs or something else?"

Richard looked at him from puffy, red eyes. "Scrambled eggs, bacon with toast, that'll do!"

Then he was totally introverted again. Something is very wrong, Paul thought. But he'd figure out what it was.

He himself had said goodbye to his Jenny at half past seven in the morning, and they had both had a smoke outside the hotel, and had also shed a little tear. She would be in touch as soon as she had talked to Kalle about the end of November. They would talk on the phone or skype or at least WhatsApp every day anyway. Yes, he was tired too - no wonder after such a night, but the fact that she existed in his life and that she loved him too made him perk up a bit. He was in a good mood, as he usually was, and Jenny had a big part in that.

When he had gotten the things from the buffet and put everything on their table, Richard reached out as if he had been starving for days. Paul shook his head.

"So let's go, I haven't seen you this ready in a long time!", Paul began to question Richard again. "Is something wrong with Sylvie?"

Richard looked sadly at Paul and suddenly began to cry. He didn't know such a thing from himself. He sniffled and rubbed his red eyes. "It's over, Paule, and it's my fault, as usual!"

Paul looked at him, startled. "Please wat? Why? Yesterday, everything was still fancy?"

"Yes last night yes, but something happened that night that should never have happened." Richard looked ashamedly at his scrambled eggs and poked listlessly at them.

"Man, Scholle, don't let it all come out of your nose. What happened tonight, huh?" He stroked his right forearm lightly. And looked at him very closely with his dark blue eyes.

Richard looked up again and told Paul the bitter truth - until Sylvie came into the room. Paul leaned back and hissed, drawing air through his teeth. He shook his head in disbelief. Richard just couldn't get a handle on his love life because he kept doing things like he did last night with the two broads.

"You can't be serious. What's the point of that? You finally landed a really great girl and then you fuck two foreign women you picked up on the street? You are really so stupid, it won't work! And what's the point of this again with the drugs? Man, Richard, I really thought you were done with this subject."

Paul was getting more and more upset, because on the one hand he was furious with his friend, on the other hand he felt sorry for Richard, that he always got himself into such situations.

"Oh Paulchen, I don't know either. The pill, I swear it was just one, kicked in so much that I just experienced everything in a fog. And the two of them were incredibly sweet. I never thought I would go to the extreme. But it was horny to be spoiled by two such hot chicks. And how they spoiled me. I haven't come that often in a long time. And especially, the one wanted it harder, just like your Jenny!"

He grinned, but Paul thought it was totally inappropriate. "Don't talk about Jenny like that, it's something completely different!"

Richard raised both hands defensively. "It's alright."

"And how should it continue now? What else did Sylvie say besides the scream?". Paul now looked directly at Richard again and underlined his look with a gesture that meant as much as go now, get in the lane!

"Nothing." Richard looked at him sadly again.

"How nothing? Nothing at all? The girl must have said something?"

"She packed up her things and slammed the door behind her without a word. I followed her, but she was already gone. Oh, what a load of crap!"

Unfortunately, he was right, but that could not be left as it was. Richard knew where Sylvie lived, so one could only hope she was there and not working.

"Okay. Then we'll stop for breakfast, get dressed properly and then we'll go to the girl's place," Paul decided.

Richard looked at him, startled. "No, that's not possible. We have to go back to Berlin, otherwise Till.... will tear us apart." That was as far as he got.

" Don't tell me. We have to sort that out BEFORE we go on tour again. So hurry up, Mr. Kruspe, off to the room and put on some decent clothes. I tell the reception that we need the rooms until the afternoon. Then we'll head for Berlin later. It's not that far."

Richard stood up ponderously. "Okay, give me half an hour." Then he tried to walk as fast as possible towards the elevator, which he managed more badly than well.

"All right. I'll wait here in the lobby and let Till know!" With that, he retreated to one of the comfortable couches and ordered another coffee. While doing so, he typed a WhatsApp to Till and then to Jenny, explaining in short words what had happened.

"I'm coming with you. When will you be at Sylvie's - and I need the address!" was the short and clear answer. Paul grinned. Yes, that was how she was, his sweetie. She did, after all, have the day off, so she took time out to assist them, the two slobs.

Paul's cell phone rang. He looked at the display. Till! Oha, that could become uncomfortable. But unfortunately it couldn't be helped at the moment. He straightened up.

"Tell me, what's wrong with you two? Ever heard of the collective?", it sounded loudly from the small speaker.

Paul raised his eyes, but this time he answered good and well-behaved. "Man, Till, Scholle has again built shit and we still have to sort of sort that out now. We'll come to Berlin today. But probably not until this evening. Sorry," the smaller guitarist defended himself.

Till growled loudly into the receiver. "Scholle again? I should have known. What's he done now?"

Paul pressed around. "Till, please not on the phone. We'll explain everything when we get back, okay?"

A gasp from the receiver. "Okay. But hurry up and drive carefully! See you later!" With that, he hung up. And a giant mountain fell from Paul's heart. If Till was mad, he was really mad. But that was still possible. Somehow Richard had been on his mind since the beginning, probably because they had once lived together. That welds together, that's for sure.

A short time later, a reasonably acceptable Mr. Kruspe actually came trotting down the stairs. He still looked beat up and tired, but what difference did a little makeup and clothes make?

Paul stood up and put an arm around his friend.
"Come on now, we're late anyway. Jenny is coming to see Sylvie. Let's just hope she's there. Sometimes it's good when the women talk to each other first, they somehow have a connection."

With that, he pulled Richard toward the underground parking garage.

"Jenny's coming, too? That's cool of her. I'm telling you, she's a hottie."

Paul nodded. "Yeah, that's her. But she is mine, I won't give her away!" Proudly, he walked in front of Richard toward the car.

"Um, Paulchen, I can't drive today. Can you?" Paul nodded and together they got into the car. Paul entered Sylvie's address into the sat nav, and slowly they drove out of the underground garage into Hamburg's mid-morning traffic. Thank God the apartment wasn't far from the Reeperbahn, so they didn't have to go through half the city.

*

They stood tensely in front of the house where Sylvie lived. Richard smoked in chord. No wonder, he had made a huge mess - and to straighten THAT out, that was not so easy.

"Come on, Scholle, it will be. You'll see. You just have to stick to the truth. And really make it clear to her that you really mean it," Paul tried to reassure Richard.

"Hey, here I am." Jenny came cycling up a little out of breath and hooked it up to Sylvie's bike rack in front of the house. Paul blushed and was happy to see his sweetie after all. He went up to her and gave her a loving kiss.
"Well, beautiful woman, long time no see!" He grinned and pulled her to him. She grinned back and snuggled up to her boyfriend.

"What's going on with you guys again? You really can't be left alone. It's worse than herding a bag of fleas," Jenny whispered in Paul's ear. He looked startled.

"Well, it's not my fault this time, Scholle fucked up, but really," Paul defended himself. Jenny looked at Richard, who looked guiltily at the floor. Jenny looked at him seriously.

" Yes, I know. Man, I let myself go. I'm really such an idiot." Richard knew very well that he had to put all the blame on himself.

Jenny agrees with him. "Oh yes, unfortunately you are. Man, Richard, such a great woman like Sylvie and you fuck strangers in the hotel room where you both stayed? And then with two dressed up chicks you picked up on the street? You're really out of your mind!" she huffed. "How can you be such a sex addict, unbelievable!"

She grew louder and louder until Richard gently grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into his arms. Sure enough, the big RZK started crying like a baby.

"I'm not a sex addict after all!" he began meekly, sniffling. "Or am I?" He looked helplessly at Paul. The latter just shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyes.

"Sssshhh, it's all right. Now, Richard, you've got to get over yourself. You just have to be honest with her. Now let's just get this over with. Okay?"

Richard sniffled, wiping his tears on his sleeve. He nodded and lit another cigarette. Paul stood by and just shook his head. His best buddy was a mess. And he knew why. He had actually fallen in love with Sylvie and now he had fucked up big time and knew it.

But that he was a sex addict? Hmm, tough question. He had often thought so. Maybe some of Richard's brain just clicked off when he saw tits and ass. And if these ladies were also willing, acted provocatively and drugged him, then it was apparently all too late for Mr. Kruspe.

He really behaved like a teenager at a techno party. Well, the music was right, Richard was into that, but everything else like throwing pills and fucking himself through the botany was not possible. Especially not at his age and in his position. That was just embarrassing and he could be glad if the ladies had not filmed or photographed him. Nowadays everything was possible with cell phones. He would know how to prevent anything from appearing on the relevant social media channels, he owed it to his friend. But one more stunt like that, and Richard could be in for a real treat. Even the friendly guitarist knew no mercy!

"All right, you crybaby. Now let's go! Scholle, you ring the bell. We don't have all day," Paul said and Richard trotted towards the doorbell and pressed the button.

Chapter Text

"Hello?" it sounded from the intercom. Richard was excited, clearly. And his voice was busy.
"It's me, honey!" he tried his luck. He looked around at Paul and Jenny and attempted a wry smile.

"The fact that you still dare is all kinds!" came again from Sylvie. Then .... exactly nothing happened!

Richard looked like a watered poodle. "She won't open, I knew it!"

Paul also nodded in embarrassment. " Let me have a go, Scholle!" Then Paul pressed the doorbell, again nothing happened.

Shortly after, the front door opened and Sylvie came out. She was loaded, no question about it. But she was there. When she saw Paul and Jenny, her expression brightened and she went to hug them both. Paul whispered briefly to her that Richard was just getting desperate and she whispered briefly back that he deserved to be punished, though. Paul grinned and Richard still looked crestfallen.

Paul and Jenny sat down a little away from the other two on a bench that was near Sylvie's house. And of course they watched every gesture of the two.

But without further ado, Sylvie took Richard's hand and pulled him into the house with her. The door slammed shut and Jenny and Paul were on the outside.

"Great. Now we don't get to hear anything," Paul grumbled to himself. No, he was not curious at all. Jenny stroked his arm.

"Hey, then let the two of them sort it out. The main thing is that she was there and talks to him. After that number, he would have been totally screwed with me, though, you know."

Jenny thought the whole story with the two ladies was so out of line. How could one think only constantly with his body center. But apparently Richard did not think there at all more. Unbelievable.

*

"Now listen to me!" Richard became a little louder now, because Sylvie just didn't want to see that he had experienced this whole night more in a drug intoxication than with a normal mind.

"You know what? You can't tell me that you didn't enjoy being spoiled by two women at once! Like hell you didn't notice! From one little pill? I don't believe you, Richard! And why, of all places, in the hotel room where we were so happy the night before? What got you into this? The women, of course."

Sylvie would have liked to spit in front of him and became louder and louder. Tears were streaming down her beautiful face. If only she didn't love this guy so much, this would all be easier.

And what did Richard do? He went out on the balcony and smoked - sure, what else?

He felt like a pig, he didn't know how to react to something like that. It reminded him of all the debauchery on his part in recent years. He could begin to understand how his ex-relationships must have felt. He was so angry with himself that not even smoking calmed his nerves as it usually did. Trembling, he stubbed out the butt in the ashtray, tightened up, and went back into the room where Sylvie had sat down on her sofa, still crying. He was so infinitely sorry.
He sat down beside her, not daring to give her a hug. What a social cripple he was! He could slap himself.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Sylvie wanted to get up, but he pushed her back onto the sofa and went to open it himself. In front of the door stood - of course - Paul and Jenny. Paul with a facial expression that could have killed hosts. He pulled the two of them into the apartment.

"Hey, what's wrong with you, Scholle? You could hear that screaming all the way down the street." He walked slowly behind him into the living room, Jenny in tow.

Sylvie sat there like a heap of misery and cried. Well, that's great, Mr. Kruspe had done a great job.

Paul had no problem to sit next to Sylvie, even with hugs he had no problem.

" Little girl, calm down for now. It will be all right." He tried and stroked her back. She sniffled and wiped her tears and makeup from her face.

Paul looked punishingly at Richard, who stood lost in the middle of the room. "So, either you get it right or that's it."

Sylvie shook her head and Jenny sat down at her other side.

"So, now let's cut to the chase, as they say here in Hamburg. How should it go on with you two?" He looked alternately from Sylvie to Richard.

And then Richard did something that no one had expected. He knelt down in front of Sylvie, took her hands in his and put on his most beautiful dachshund look. "Sweetie, I'm so infinitely sorry. I've been such a huge asshole. I totally want this with us. That was a one-time slip, and I never want it to happen again! Can you forgive me? Please?"
At that, he kissed her hands. Sylvie looked at him, at Paul, and at Jenny. Paul nodded encouragingly at her.

She looked at him with her big eyes... and after what felt like an eternity, a soft "Okay." came slowly from her.

Paul grinned all over his face, stood up and took his Jenny by the arm. "Come on, kid, let's go downstairs. I think now we are just interfering!" Slowly the two of them moved away.

Richard now sat down next to Sylvie and finally pulled her into his arms. He brushed away her tears, which of course had taken on a life of their own again. He took her face in his hands, stroked her cheek with his thumb, and pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth. "I'm so glad you forgive me, my sweet."

She swallowed audibly. "I forgive you, but that was the first and last time. If I overhear anything along those lines, especially when you're on tour again, that's it. I hope that got through to you, Richard Zven Kruspe!"

He nodded and kissed her again. Now she returned his kiss. She snuggled up to him and he pulled her on top of him into a lying position on the couch. But she sat up again and pulled her top over her head so that she was sitting on top of him in just her bra and panties.

And Richard wouldn't be Richard if something would stir in his lower region right away, of course. Slowly he took off her bra and stroked slowly and then more and more erratically over her breasts. He kissed his way slowly along her belly.

"Sweetie, I'm so hot for you. And we have so little time." Regretfully, he pulled her close, but Sylvie was not deterred. She stood up and pulled him with her into her bedroom. While still walking, he took off his shirt and slipped his shoes off his feet. Thank God he only had sneakers on, it was quick.

She sat down on the bed and slowly and pleasurably pulled down his pants. Richard gasped as she slowly stroked his bulge in his boxers. He was about to protest again, because reason said he had to finally get going and knew that Paul was waiting with Jenny downstairs in front of the house, but she wouldn't let him go. She hooked into his boxers and pulled them down too. Richard unfortunately had nothing to hold on to, so he put his hands on her shoulders and watched her with pleasure as she tampered with his manhood with her hand. She stroked the velvety skin slowly up and down and gently kneaded his testicles. The heat inside him was becoming unbearable, his member was at operating temperature, but so what - he couldn't go now.

"Aaaah, oh ... what are you doing to me?" he brought out haltingly. She looked him cheekily in the eyes and took his entire length into her mouth and sucked gently. Then she licked over his tip and let her hands wander again over his flat belly. She bit briefly into his best piece and released it. Richard was already finished now.

He pushed her backwards onto the bed and slowly pulled off her black lace panties. Then he buried his face in her lap and started to pleasure her with his tongue as well. Sylvie moaned and arched up to meet him.

"Oh please, Richard, please don't let me be..." That was as far as she got, as he climbed over her and sank a finger into her hot wetness. Then he thrust a little, making her continue to gasp and moan. He continued to kiss his way up until he reached her neck. There he buried himself in her neck, leaving a neat hickey. He grinned and felt like a teen.

Then he let go of her and grabbed her arms, pinning them above her head. She spread her legs wide. She was so ready for him. She wanted to feel him - now!!!

With one hand, he took his hardness and gently penetrated her. She bent her head back and gasped loudly. He kissed her passionately and sank into her completely. Quickly they had found a rhythm that was a bit frantic, but also quite hard. Briefly Richard had to think of Jenny. And he also found it horny.

But as quickly as it had begun, it was over and Richard squirted. Gasping, he collapsed over Sylvie and she kissed her way along his earlobe. She pressed his bottom down on her a little harder so she could feel him inside her a little longer.

They had slept together without a condom, Richard thought! He looked at her startled, but she knew what he was thinking about.

"Hey, and if it's meant to be, it is." Then she kissed him again tenderly and he pulled out of her. Getting up was exhausting, he would have preferred to lie like that, but he had to go.

A hectic shower later and back in his clothes, he was very surprised that his Paulchen had not already been frantically beeping at him. He pulled his girlfriend to him once more.

"See you soon, beautiful, I look forward to seeing you when we get back." She did stifle a tear now, but then she let go of him and he slowly walked out the door.

And now all the tension burst out of Sylvie. As she pushed the door shut behind him, she howled like a castle dog. She had more than fallen in love with this man. And that he could do such a thing to her with those runaway women, she still couldn't really understand. But she had forgiven him. Time would show how it went on...

*

"Man, Kruspe is taking forever with his apologies again." Paul raised his eyes. By now it was also getting really cold and he wrapped his jacket tighter around his body.

Jenny had done it right, she had several layers of fabric around her and a thick scarf. He only a thin scarf and one of his beloved leather jackets.

Like every year, he didn't want winter, he was a summer child, even if he was born in winter. Speaking of which... birthday was also coming up after the tour. He turned 57! Give me a break - fifty-seven!!! He was an old fart. And she was beautiful and much younger... again the doubts came if this was all right, what he was doing here. But Jenny interrupted him with something quite mundane.

"What do you think about a mulled wine? There's a stand up ahead. It'll at least warm you up a bit." She looked at him questioningly. Alcohol, in the middle of the day? Did he still have to drive? Nah, Richard could handle that. All right, off for it then.

They walked hand in hand to the small booth and sat down on the stools that were set up in front of the booth. From here they could keep a good eye on Sylvie's house in case anything happened.

"Hmm, yummy. Want some?" Jenny handed Paul her bag of lard cakes. He peeked cautiously into the bag, he didn't know that. He took one for himself. "Oh, that's good now after all the excitement." He drank his mulled wine with relish and helped himself to the bag of lard cakes. As he did so, he kept glancing at his wristwatch. Richard had been with Sylvie for over an hour now, so his discussion couldn't have taken that long.

Paul jitterily slid around on his chair. "Little girl, I think we need to ring Sylvie's bell again, it's taking me too long."

They finished their mulled wine, took the bag of lard cakes with them and strolled back to the house. But shortly before Paul could press his finger on the bell button, the front door opened and a somewhat damaged Richard appeared beaming with joy.

"Finally. What took you so long, anyway? We have to go, Till will really tear our heads off if we're not on time."

Paul looked at Richard uncomprehendingly. Jenny smiled to herself, she could already guess WHAT Richard had done with Sylvie. Richard fussed and grinned as well. Paul looked from one to the other again.

"No, right? You fucked her? Richard, you are really impossible. It's only three weeks, so you can give your dick a break. You're such a bastard, really!", he exclaimed, but had to laugh at the same time. "Come on now, off to the hotel, the things packed and off on the highway."

"Give me the keys, I'll sit in the car, you can say goodbye."

Paul nodded and went with Jenny to her bike, which was connected in front of Sylvie's house. He took her in his arms and kissed her tenderly.

"Now it's time, isn't it? I don't know how I'm going to get along without you." She looked at him, taking his face in her hands.

"You have enough distractions. As long as this one isn't female, everything's fine!" With that she grinned, pressed her lips to his and demanded entrance with her tongue, which of course he granted her. They kissed long and passionately until they were interrupted by the car horn Richard had pressed.

"Gee!" grumbled Paul. "Yes, I know, Richard!" He flashed him a middle finger before letting Jenny go. "I'll be in touch as soon as we arrive in Berlin."

She nodded and threw him another air kiss. Then he trotted to the car, opening the passenger door.

"What? I thought you were driving?" came an astonished Richard.
"No, I had another mulled wine with my sweetie. You better do it." Richard shrugged his shoulders, got out and walked around the car to the driver's seat and started. They both waved from the car before turning the next corner towards the hotel.

And a few more tears left Jenny's eyes now too - yes, she too had fallen in love with this incredible man. She missed him already. But she would cycle to Kalle's right now to sort it out with the vacation at the end of November... It just had to work out!

Chapter Text

"Say, can you hurry up now? I never take this long either!" came from an annoyed Paul. He was the last one to stow away his stuff in the tour bus, because Richard was on the road with what felt like 100 suitcases. They were on the road for three fucking weeks, so a guy didn't need that much stuff. But Richard was also a diva sometimes, unbelievable.

Richard looked equally annoyed and let Udo, their bus driver, help him. He just grinned to himself. He knew exactly how Richard was sometimes. But he was just as affectionate.

"Did you call your sweetheart and let her know that we are on tour from today?", Richard asked immediately.

"Yep. Richard, I called right away yesterday when we arrived. I don't think I can do without my sweetie anymore. I've really fallen in love, honestly." Paul was now grinning all over his face. "And you?"

"I was so exhausted yesterday that I first packed myself down. And of course I forgot to call in. I made up for it in the middle of the night." Richard grinned like a honey-cake horse. Paul looked at him and started laughing.

"In the middle of the night? Well, I would have complained. You're out of your mind." Paul shook his head in disbelief.

"Didn't find Sylvie at all." Richard wiggled his eyebrows with a wicked grin and Paul understood.

"Ahaaa, so phone sex. You really can't help it, can you? You're a sex addict, Mr. Kruspe, but for real!"

"I'm what?" Richard was off his rocker and tried to catch Paul's arm as he quickly jumped into the bus and Richard's path was slowed by Till.

"Now, let's cut the kid stuff. I feel like I'm on the traveling circus Pflaume!" he growled in his sonorous baritone. Paul threw himself on the sofa and Richard beside him. They both laughed.

"Everybody in? Well, then we can finally get going!" Udo trotted leisurely toward the driver's seat and started the bus. Everyone, except Schneider, sat in a comfortable round on the couch in the lounge area and chatted.

"Where's Schneider?" Paul immediately asked Till. At first, Till pretended not to hear Paul, but when Paul tugged at his sleeve, he could no longer ignore him. Paul looked at Till questioningly.

"Um, he's not doing so well, I don't think!" began Till, printing. "He's already laid down," came from him, shrugging his shoulders.

This was not at all like the usually good-humored drummer, and Paul was immediately alarmed, because he had to think of the little scene a week ago, when Schneider wasn't doing so well either. What was going on there? Had Ulrike really broken up with him? At least that's what it sounded like last week.
Paul quietly went to the back of the bus. Slowly he pulled aside the curtain.

There he lay, not asleep, but staring at the ceiling, tears running from his eyes into the pillow. When he saw Paul, he tried to sit up, which was not so easy with the small bunk and the big tailor, without bumping his head.
He wiped his eyes in agitation.

"Gee, Schneider, what's the matter with you?" began Paul. He stroked his arm lightly.

"Oh, you know, Paule, unfortunately nothing has changed in the situation from last week. I even have Ulrike's confirmation now. I don't even know how to deal with it. We were such a welded team, not even a sheet of paper fit between us. And now? Is that all supposed to be completely over? I feel like I've had something amputated."

He sighed and you could tell he wanted to start crying again right away. Paul understood him all too well, unfortunately; he'd just been through it, too. Fortunately there was Jenny for him, that made it more bearable in any case, although he still didn't know why Arielle had left him. Mr Mueller would also have to get in touch.

"Oh, Christoph..." he tried. Whenever something went wrong and they were really just private people, Schneider allowed his friends and colleagues to address him by his first name. "... I just got through all that shit. I still don't know why Ari left either."
He continued stroking his arm. "I hired a private investigator through Till, maybe he can figure out what went down."

Schneider looked at him, startled. He didn't know anything about that. "Really? I don't know anything about that."

"No, you can't either, only Till and Richard know about it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it either, you know?" Paul looked down at his hands, which were now in his lap.

"Oh, and that's why you two went to Hamburg again?" asked Schneider now further.

"Nah, that had other reasons." He grinned. And elicited a small smile from Schneider, despite the muddled box. Paul slid around excitedly on his butt again, causing a small groan from the bunk.

"Now don't let it all come out of your nose, Paulchen. What happened in Hamburg, huh?" Paul intertwined his hands in embarrassment and pushed around.

"Well, a woman happened." He looked openly at Schneider.

"Oh... And?" Schneider's eyes grew bigger and bigger.

"Yes, I fell in love with Jenny. She's a waitress in a little pub on Hamburg's Kiez."

Schneider raised both thumbs up. "That fast? Well, that doesn't look like you at all," Schneider wondered, and Paul nodded. "So what?"

"Yeah, somehow it really got me. Out of the blue." He looked at his hands again. But when he remained silent, Schneider continued to pester him.

"That's a thing. And then what happened?"

Paul drew his eyes upward. "Nothing more!"

"What do you mean, nothing? Tell me!"

Paul could tell that Schneider was looking for distraction. So he told him the whole story, including about their trip to Heiligenhafen.

"And why was Richard with them now?"

"The good guy has also fallen in love. But what a fuss again. Man, man, man." Paul shook his head again as he thought of the messed up situation between Richard and Sylvie.

"Richard's got a crush, too? Again? Man, you two again. Unbelievable!" Schneider shook his head with a grin. "But why the fuss?"

"Well, since the good Mr. Kruspe can't control his dick, he's been screwing around, and unfortunately his Sylvie overheard."

"Waaaas?" Schneider became a little louder now and covered his mouth in fright. But in the front part of the bus, the others were chatting so loudly that none of them had heard anything.

"Shhh, not so loud! Everyone doesn't have to hear!" Schneider looked at him, startled. Then Paul told Richard's story from beginning to end. Schneider would have fallen on his butt if he hadn't already been sitting down. He was flabbergasted and looked like it.

"They let you do something on your own once and then something like this? That is not to be grasped everything! I can't even keep up with my story," he said sadly again.

"Stop it, I would have liked something else. But Sylvie has forgiven him, thank God. Hopefully Richard will keep his hands and especially his cock with him on tour. I think one more thing like that and that's it for the serious relationship with sweet Sylvie!"

Schneider nodded. "I think so, too. Paule, we have to watch out a bit for Scholle, you know that, right? Did he also fall in love for real, like you did with your... what was her name? Jenny?"

"Yep, he did. But unfortunately he got involved with both girls on the Kiez with a pill and was really proud afterwards that he did it with two women at once. Richard is really impossible. When his mind stops working and he only thinks with the lower floor, you can forget everything."

Paul grinned and immediately became serious again. "But Christoph, what about you? Can I help you in any way?"

Schneider shook his head sadly.
"Unfortunately not, Paulchen. I really tried to talk to Ulrike again. I was almost on my knees in front of her. But she stayed ice-cold, grabbed our boys and had a posh cart pick her up. I don't know where she is now. She doesn't answer the phone, no replies to my WhatsApps either. I really don't know what else to do! I especially miss the little ones, they don't even know what's going on yet."
He sniffled again as a tear tried to make its way out.

"Hm, it was something like that with me too. Until I saw her in Hamburg in that very pub and she made that scene for me. She was also ice cold. I can't understand to this day that she can be so cold. I never noticed anything, she was always affectionate - and all of a sudden like that. Even to Lilli she was reserved, as if that wasn't her child, but a stranger." He nodded shamefully at that. "I'm so curious to see what this Mr Mueller is going to find out."

Schneider nodded again. "Oh, what do you want to do now, too? Let's go to the front with the others, we'll be distracted a bit." With that, he let himself slide out of the bunk and pulled Paul along with him.

The others were of course playing poker again. This time, Till had put on his poker face and was really ripping off Richard. Paul and Schneider sat down with the others and just watched for now.

Until Paul's cell phone rang.... He looked at the display... Mr Mueller! They had just been talking about him and he was already calling. Now it was getting interesting. He jumped up in a hurry and went back to the back of the bus to make the call. The others looked after him in disbelief.

"Landers?" he called in, realizing his heart was starting to trip.
"Hello, Mr Landers. This is Mueller. You remember?" asked Mr Mueller politely over the phone.

"Well, of course I remember. What's new?" he tried to sound a little more relaxed, but didn't really succeed.

"Well, I hope you're sitting down, Mr Landers...", Mr Mueller now began. Paul widened his eyes and saw in the corner of his eye that Schneider was quietly joining him. Paul set the cell phone to loud so Schneider could listen in. The others were too far away, none of them could hear.

"Now I'm sitting down. Fire away!" Paul straightened up and listened attentively. Schneider had clutched at his arm and was following the whole thing intently.

"So, as we had already suspected, your ex-wife was apparently given narcotics through this businessman. You know how Scientology works?"

Paul nodded his head, only then realizing that Mr Mueller couldn't see that at all. "Yes, I know." With wide eyes, he looked at Schneider.

"Well, your ex-wife has probably been so-called brainwashed. Since this has apparently been going on for a long time, well before she left you, we can assume that her entire fortune has flowed into the dark channels of this businessman, because without money these so-called gurus don't do anything." He paused.

"And now? The money doesn't matter for now, but what about the condition of my ex?" inquired Paul.

"Mr Landers, as long as she doesn't WANT to leave the club herself, there's not much you can do. She has to want to do it herself. Then you could try to get an undercover agent in there." Mr Mueller remained calm, as always.

"But can't you put someone in there already? I mean, even though she's guaranteed not to know what's been going on, if she's been drugged all this time. Maybe she also doesn't know that she left me or the scene in Hamburg. There's always a small chance, isn't there?"

Paul talked himself into a frenzy and gesticulated wildly, even though he was now on the point of not wanting Arielle back, but he also didn't want her to perish from all this shit. He couldn't reconcile that with his good heart, he had once loved this woman far too much for that.

Schneider tried to calm him down by pushing him down on a chair that was in front of the bunks. He knelt down in front of him and noticed that Paul was almost crying and his hand, in which he held the phone, was shaking more and more. "Shhh, it's going to be okay," Schneider whispered, stroking Paul's head.

"Mr Landers, please calm down! We'll get someone in there, I promise! Nothing will happen to your ex-wife, but there's nothing you can do right now but unfortunately wait it out again. These people are cunning, they don't show their cards. It will be difficult to gain their trust," Mr. Müller continued.

"Tell me how much it will cost. I don't care what. I just want you to get my ex out of there somehow, and alive."

Mr Mueller assured him that they would do everything to get Arielle out of there. There was no mention of money, but Paul didn't care at that moment.

"Thank you for letting me know."

"No problem. As I heard from Mr Lindemann, you are now on tour for the next few weeks until the end of November. Let's see if we can announce more positive news by then. And please try to distract yourself. You can't do anything at the moment anyway."

Paul nodded again - and then he remembered something scalding hot... Oh God, please don't! He wiped the sweat from his brow. Stuttering, he began to speak, his voice failing, but he pulled himself together.

"I have another question. I met a woman in Hamburg. I hope she's not in danger too, right? Because, Arielle was in the very pub where my sweetie works. That could be, right?" Paul was getting more and more excited.

"Mr Landers, we also have our people stationed in Hamburg. We know exactly where you were last week. Please don't worry so much! We deal with such organizations more often or, in the worst case, with the establishment. We know how they work!"

Paul's eyes widened even more. He already felt he was being watched a bit. This was even worse than back then with the Stasi. What a load of crap everything was.
Schneider continued to stroke Paul's head.

"Okay, then, will you get back to me if there's any news?" asked Paul again, his voice trembling.

"Sure, Mr Landers. Have fun on the tour for now and please distract yourself! No one is served by you getting ready! Goodbye!" With that, he hung up and Paul's cell phone fell out of his hand.

"What a load of shit!" he began to rant. "You've got to be kidding me. My Arielle with drugs and brainwashing. How did she get into this? I just can't understand it." He shook his head again.

"Come on, my little one, calm down. Here, have a drink first." Where Schneider suddenly got a whole bottle of tequila, Paul didn't know either, but he literally snatched it out of his hand and started it. And of course he choked and coughed until Schneider patted him on the back.

"Easy, easy." He allowed himself a big gulp and slowly got up from his knees. "Maybe it's better if you lie down too, Paulchen, it's getting late and the world looks a little better tomorrow. I'll try to distract myself a bit too." With that he pulled Paul to his feet, he stood a little shakily.

"Okay, you're right. I don't even know where we're playing tomorrow, Christoph, I'm so through, I hope I can play." He tried to remember their tour schedule, but Schneider once again knew. "We'll be in Prague tomorrow and the day after, Paulchen."

"Oh look, how nice. I like the golden city. At least that's something." He tried a little smile.

"And of course you can play, Paul, you don't forget that easily," the drummer reassured him and pulled him into his arms.

"I know that, but with all the news, I wouldn't be surprised if I often feel Till is really losing his head."

"Nonsense, Till knows how you are. And you really have to tell everyone else tomorrow, otherwise they still won't know what's going on with you. Okay?", Schneider answered him.

Paul nodded. "But so do you, so far only I know that your wife broke up with you."

Schneider then nodded in confirmation.
They high-fived each other and Paul retreated to the bunk next to Schneider along with his clothes, he didn't feel like taking them off now. But he was unfortunately too agitated to be able to sleep. He realized that now the damned tears were coming again. And unfortunately they couldn't be blinked away either. When he finally had all this shit behind him, he would get so drunk and party with the others, he knew that for sure....

But now he cried silently to himself and realized that Schneider was crying as well.

At some point he fell asleep, exhausted.

Chapter Text

"Get out now, you bum bags!" a good-humored Till shouted across the tour bus. Slowly, the Rammstein gentlemen woke up.

"What is that noise? Do you know what time it is?" complained Paul, who always had a bit of trouble getting up, because he was a self-confessed late riser.

Till elatedly pulled open the small curtain to Paul's bunk, leaned almost all the way over the little guitarist and sang "Im Frühtau zu Berge..." into his ear in a loud voice. The guitarist covered his ears in annoyance and shooed Till out of his bunk.

He laughed loudly and went to the next closed bunk. Richard was lying in it. All the others had apparently already gotten up. Flake anyway, the good guy usually wandered around somewhere early in the morning and this time he had taken Olli with him.

"Till, you're a pain," came from a rather tired and bad-tempered Richard. But at least he swung his legs over the bed, pulled the curtain completely aside and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

To all appearances, the gentlemen had been in a celebratory mood last night at the poker game and went to bed very late. Only Till, whom nothing knocked over, was of course again one of the first to get up.

"Come on up now, Kruspe, you don't need make-up, we still have a little time before we go to the venue. You can do everything in the hotel," Till now urged.

"Yes I do, can I at least still get dressed or do I have to walk naked to the hotel?" Richard was pretty annoyed and pissed off and when he was like that, it was best to leave him alone.

Till grinned. "Och I would be for walking naked to the hotel. At least the hotel employees have something to look at. It's not every day you see a naked Richard Z. Kruspe in a hotel like this, is it?" He continued to grin dirtily.

Richard gave Till an incredibly mischievous look, grabbed his clothes, and whisked past him like a bolt of lightning toward the hotel.

Paul unfortunately had to smile a little bit about this little dispute between the singer and his best buddy, but he also felt that he finally had to tell his dilemma to all band members now. And Schneider also had to show his colors. Where was he, anyway? Probably still sleeping. But Flake and Olli were not there, so this had to be scheduled somehow.

But before the first show in Prague? Or after? But after the concert they were usually so exhausted that there was only one glass left and they fell into their hotel beds as if dead.

Even after-show parties were not what they used to be. There you stood with some people, talked unnecessary small talk and in the best case you got drunk so that you slept well or hung around in a corner and didn't want to be chatted up, which unfortunately didn't always go well with them.

Till had invited some chicks at every concert, who were dressed up to the nines. Till thought that the cliché had to be kept, but it wasn't really nice. Especially since all the girls had not even exceeded 30.

Man, they could be the daughters of the six gentlemen, it was embarrassing, if a 50+ or almost 60 year old like Till wanted to get in there somehow. But please, Mr. Lindemann thought that this was fitting for a metal band. And for photos the girls were quite good. For Paul's taste, unfortunately, a little - let's say, simply knitted, so from the head. But for fucking you didn't really need more than dressed up chicks who wanted to adorn themselves with a star.

So, Paul didn't really see himself as a star all the time, nor did the other guys. Not even Till.

And sure, in earlier times he had also taken one or the other, but that has not happened for ages. Sayings klopfen, yes that could Paul well, but was eaten at home, as they said so well. He had always been faithful to Arielle and also then to Nikki - and had lost both of them. What a crock of shit! He swallowed. But now he had Jenny, so the subject was over anyway.

"What's going on here?" a sleepy Schneider mumbled from his bunk. With difficulty he sat up and let his legs dangle over the edge of the bunk. Schneider looked so sleepy, he seemed like a little distraught boy. Paul came over to him and stroked his head.

"Nothing, just Till kicking us all out of bed with his calm and loving ways," Paul answered him, looking over at Till.

"Now don't be like that, you're not little kids anymore! If you can drink, you can stand up! So off to the hotel, you whistles!" That was the end of the matter for him and he took his hand cookies. The suitcases had long since been brought to the hotel by Udo together with the hotel staff.

"Wait a minute - I have something to tell you," Paul held him back.
"Me too," Schneider added.

Till stopped and looked questioningly around at the two.
"But we all have to be present there, too. Flake and Olli have gone underground, so I suggest before the concert - for half an hour?", Paul mused to himself, and suddenly Till nodded his head in understanding. He could already guess what Paul was talking about. But what about Schneider?

"Okayyy," Till dragged out the answer. "We'll start the meet & greet around eight, and before that we'll have dress rehearsal and various bits and pieces, so you don't really have much time left, Paul." He looked at Schneider. "And how long will it take you?"

Schneider looked at him with wide eyes. "Ten minutes, tops." He looked sadly at his feet.

"All right. It's three quarters of ten now. Lunch we can have together. That's when we can work this out, whatever it is with you guys," Till tried to boil the whole thing down, which wasn't so easy with the two of them. Paul and Schneider had a lot to say, and then they dropped the bombs at lunch? Oh well, that's just the way it was.

Paul raised his eyes, shrugged his shoulders at Schneider. He gathered up his luggage and was the third to leave the band bus.

Richard had held back the whole time, knowing Paul's dilemma. But what was with Schneider, he did not know yet. And because good Richard was curious and in his rage had only come as far as BEFORE the band bus, because of course he had to smoke again, he sulked back into the bus and tried to tickle something out of Schneider now, when suddenly Flake and Olli came trotting towards the bus again. Huh, he thought, they had already checked into the hotel.

"What do you want here?" he started immediately.

"Sorry, we're with the band too," Flake grinned at him. Richard looked at him uncomprehendingly. "I was kidding, Richard." Flake just shook his head.

Richard was so distracted by the two of them that he forgot to question Schneider. The latter now grabbed his clothes in turn and slowly wobbled out of the band bus as well.

"Come on, sweetheart, otherwise you won't be ready with all your clothes later." With that, Flake put an arm around Richard, grabbed his already packed backpack, and Olli did the same. Arm in arm, the three walked towards the hotel entrance, and Richard put out his smoked cigarette in the ashtray in front of the hotel.

*

Paul was amazed at his room, which was once again right next to Richards. This one was so lovingly furnished, a bit outdated, but he immediately felt at home. That's how they were, the Czechs, engaging, unbelievably warm and somehow you felt right at home. With him it was probably even more so than with the others. No wonder, after all, his dad was a native Czech, so he felt at home from his origins. He was like that himself, affectionate and warm. Probably too warm, after all the negative things that had happened to him lately. If he only thought about it, his Arielle with drugs, he suddenly immediately felt sick again.

Had he perhaps made a mistake, because he had immediately fallen for a new woman? He was already looking for the mistakes in himself again. He had to stop, otherwise this vicious circle would never end. And he had to get through the concert tonight somehow. But first he would talk to everyone, otherwise he would suffocate. He distracted himself by unpacking his clothes and taking a long shower.

As he got into new clothes, there was a knock at his door. Paul trotted leisurely to the door and a dejected tailor faced him.

"May I come in?" this one also started right away. Paul nodded and pulled him along. Schneider sat down on the couch and looked at Paul out of empty eyes. "How are we going to tell all this to our friends, Paulchen? I feel like the biggest failure. First the huge drama back then with Regine and now with Ulrike. They think I'm not capable of having a relationship. I feel so small and nothing." Schneider almost started to cry and Paul took him in his arms.

"Hey, Christoph, it's going to be okay. I felt the same way back then. To this day, I think I'm the biggest whistle-blower running around free. But that's not the case. The broads just decided that they'd put up with us for a certain amount of time and take us out, and then they'd find someone else to be around for longer than just a few months a year." Paul nodded to his words. "Yes, I think that's really it. We didn't fail or shoot any pods, we were faithful and we didn't let anything go. Maybe that was the mistake. Since they apparently think only badly of us anyway, we could have also cheating without end. But we never did - and still they don't want us anymore."

Schneider looked at Paul, startled. "Yes, you may be right, Paul. But excuse me, I have three small children, I love my wife, I've been married for seven years, I've never thought of anyone else since I've had Ulrike, even though the temptations are of course there all the time and always on the go. Where does she get such an idea that I would be in other beds all the time during tours?" Schneider shook his head again.

Paul stood up, pulling Schneider with him onto the balcony and holding out his box of cigarettes. Actually, Schneider didn't smoke anymore, but now he couldn't refuse. "I don't know, Christoph. I loved Arielle too, you can know that, and I still do in a way. In any case, I don't want anything bad to happen to her. And also I would never have thought of cheating on her, she knows that too. But apparently the women believe that by now. Or why else are they like that?"

He sat down on one of the balcony chairs. Schneider stopped and slowly blew the smoke through his nostrils. He couldn't comprehend any of this. Arielle with drugs? And what about his Ulrike? Had she also been dragged into the whole swamp? After all, the two women got along well and did a lot together. Suddenly he had an idea.

"Say, can you contact your Mr Mueller again and put him on to Ulrike, too, or one of his people? Maybe it's all connected somehow?" asked Schneider Paul.

"Do you really think so? Ulrike only took off now, didn't she? Ari was much earlier. Although, come to think of it, the whole thing is strange somehow." Schneider looked at him sadly.

Suddenly there was another knock on Paul's hotel room door.

"Who is that again?" Paul got up awkwardly and almost fell over Schneider's feet as he stumbled into the living room. He swiftly opened the hotel door and in front of it stood a ready styled and good smelling Richard Z. Kruspe himself. He grinned at Paul and just walked into the room.

"Well, kid, still not ready?" Then he noticed Schneider, who had just come back into the room from the balcony. "What are you doing here?" came from Richard, and you could tell that he was reacting strangely, as if he were jealous, which was complete nonsense.

"I just had to talk to Paul about something," Schneider dismissed the question. "But you're already done. You look good, and for lunch. Respect, Richard." Schneider grinned mischievously and Richard abruptly remembered his curiosity and what else was going on with Schneider now.

He sat down in the next best armchair and unabashedly asked Schneider what else was going on with him. Schneider looked at him, startled. "Richard, you're not curious at all, are you? I'll tell you all about it at lunch, just as we agreed." He grinned. "And now I have to go change. See you later, cuties." With that, he rushed out of Paul's room, leaving a stunned Richard behind.

But Richard didn't let up. "So what's going on with Schneider? Paul, you know something, admit it!", Richard tried again.

"You won't get anything out of me, Richard, that's for Schneider to tell you herself. You know my dilemma well enough now. And if you have five more minutes, I'd like to come with you to lunch right now." Paul dashed briefly into the bathroom to look again in the mirror, he was not as vain as Richard, but still one had to know whether everything sat.

"Okay, we can." With that he grabbed his cigarettes, cell phone and his room card and just pulled Richard along with him. But Richard tore himself away from Paul's hand. And closed the room door from the inside again.

"So, Paul, let's talk turkey. There's more going on than what happened a few days ago. Has Mr Mueller contacted you again?" asked Richard. Shit, he knew him so well. Paul fidgeted a bit, turned on his heel and was about to leave in the direction of the balcony, but Richard followed him.

"Richard, you can be a real pain in the ass. What do you want to hear now?" Paul suddenly got upset.

"I want to know what's going on with you. Paul, you are my very best friend. Don't you think I know you a little bit and KNOW that you're hiding something from me?" replied Richard, somewhat annoyed. "That you're telling Schneider and not telling me, I think..." Richard didn't get any further, because Paul had covered his mouth.

"Now make a point, though. You're jealous of Schneider? Are you crazy, Richard? I'm afraid we're in the same boat, Schneider and me." Then he lit a cigarette and gave Richard the pack.

"Okay, what's up with Schneider and what's up with you?" Richard didn't let up. Paul stood up again, put his cigarette butt on the ashtray and put his hands on his hips.

"Good, because you're so annoying. Ulrike has left him. And Mr Mueller has reported, Ari has been pumped full of drugs. That's what's going on. Satisfied?" He plopped down in the balcony chair and took a hasty drag on his cigarette.

Richard's face fell. "Please what, you can't be serious!" He also took a hasty drag on his cigarette. "And you're just saying that now? Already forgotten, we are all best friends and colleagues. You can't just hide that like that." Richard was beside himself.

"Richard, please, we'll sort it out over dinner. We've already said that. So please, do me a favor and back off, will you?" With that, Paul put out his cigarette butt in the ashtray and Richard did the same.

"All right. I'll say no more." With that, he stalked past Paul and headed toward the exit. Paul packed up the butt box, grabbed back the room card he had carelessly tossed on the sideboard, and followed Richard out.

Chapter Text

There was a gluttonous silence in the small separee where the Rammsteins had retreated. Paul and Schneider kept looking at each other over their plates and neither of them wanted to be the first to come out with the truth. Richard finally couldn't take it anymore.

"So, guys, what now?" He looked strained from one to the other.

Paul cleared his throat loudly, okay, now he had to show his colors. He swallowed his last bite of pasta and tightened up. He would never have thought that he would be so excited about confessing something to his best friends. He stood up because, standing, he could express himself and gesture better.

"Ari left me!" he brought out with difficulty before he slumped down and Till was just able to hold him. Angry at himself, he immediately burst into tears and ran bright red. He tried to push Till's arm off his shoulder and stand up again, but Schneider stopped him. The latter now also stood up.
Paul looked at him, startled, but realized that he had to calm down first. Then he preferred to let Schneider go first. His situation was just as shitty.

"Okay, guys, Paul needs to calm down first. I'm not really in a good mood either, and I'm just pretty messed up and sad." He cleared his throat. Then he began to tell quietly. "Ulrike's gone, with the kids, picked up by a very ominous guy with a limo. Right in front of our house." He tightened and took a deep breath. "I don't know why. Just like Paul. It's just ...." With that, he too broke off, slumped into his chair, and suddenly he too began to cry. "Sorry, I'm so embarrassed." the big man sniffled, and Richard, sitting next to him, unceremoniously pulled him into his arms.

There they both sat now, crying and somehow broken. Two grown men were crying like castle dogs.

"Oh man. What are you doing?" Flake had gotten up and was now squatting next to his oldest friend's chair. He slowly stroked Paul's forearm. The only one who was, as usual, calm in person was Olli. He suddenly stood up, gave the waitress a wave and she brought them a bottle of tequila and six shot glasses. Then she discreetly disappeared again.

"Here, I think this is the only thing that will help right now." With that, he opened the bottle and poured each of the six glasses full.

Gratefully, Till and Richard took their little glasses. Flake awkwardly came up from his crouch and took a glass as well.

"What now? In the middle of the day like this? Ick don't know." Paul was still sniffling, and Schneider stood up bent over.

"So what? Nobody cares anymore anyway!" With that, Schneider poured the tequila into his mouth.

Then they all sat down again. The bottle was empty within a short time.

"Is that all now, or is there more to come?" inquired Flake, a bit off track, which he always was.

Paul had calmed down a bit and told the whole story about Arielle, including the drugs and the private detective.

"What, you knew about it?" Flake now asked Till. The latter only nodded grumpily. "But, why didn't anyone tell us. I always thought we were friends." Flake drew a blank and Till stood up.

"Okay, girls, this can't go on. Something has to happen now! Schneider, what about Ulrike now? Is there a connection to all this shit about Arielle or what?"

Schneider shrugged his shoulders. "No idea. She just left and I haven't heard from her since." He ran his hands through his short hair in agitation.

"Well, then I'll call Mr Mueller again now, something has to happen now! I don't give a damn what it costs. We all can't do our job one hundred percent if you two both come across like the sad dumplings. Especially with Paul, the fans noticed that. And you, Schneider, are always so emotional anyway. Then you start crying on your drums, that can be quite charming, but not all the time. Period!"

With that he grabbed his phone, dialed the number of the private detective and went outside. The others remained seated and just looked at each other silently. Schneider and Paul furtively wiped tears from their eyes. They saw Till waving his hands wildly, then he nodded several times and came back into the hotel restaurant with trudging steps.

"All right. Mr Mueller is now "fighting" on all fronts. It would be a laugh if something didn't finally happen and we knew who and what we were dealing with! So, and now we should slowly get on track, we should be at the stadium by three at the latest!" With that, Till stood up, Flake and Olli followed him wordlessly. Only Schneider, Paul and Richard remained seated.

"What a shitty situation, I knew it, that this would still make high waves!" Paul shook his head in disbelief.

"Yes, but better to get it all out in the open now, and as they say, an end with horror than horror without end!", Richard answered him.

"You know, Reesh, I just don't WANT it to end like this. I fought for this woman for so long and we were so damn happy, especially with our kids. This can't be over now, just like that. I can't understand all this. And please, how do you deal with it?" Schneider rejoined the conversation.

"I can't tell you either, Christoph, but all this has to be cleared up. No one is getting anywhere here with speculation!" Richard nods his head in response. "I know I'm not an example of stable long-term relationships, but I can empathize with how you feel about it. Even if you don't believe me. My relationship with Margaux had been very beautiful and harmonious for a very long time, until ... yes, until I cheated again." Guiltily, he bowed his head.

Paul nodded. "Yes, Richard, you could have really screwed yourself there. Margaux is a great woman, you have a great daughter. And just because some buxom bunny hops by, and you've been thinking with your dick again, you've kicked your relationship to the curb. I would have run away too. No woman puts up with that for long."

Richard looked at Paul, pondering. Yes, of course, he had screwed up big time. He only hoped that with Sylvie he had finally found a woman for whom it was worth resisting all temptations. He couldn't afford any more slip-ups now.

"And that's what we don't understand. We both have always been as faithful as gold, Christoph and I. And yet the women have left us. I don't know if that's just due to the drugs."

"Well, hopefully this Mr Mueller will find out everything and soon, otherwise you can kiss the tour goodbye, as Till already said." Schneider now finished his water and rose with difficulty.

"Well, nothing helps. We have to." With that, Paul also stood up. "Are you coming now, or are you going to the stadium as you are?"

Richard shook his head. "I still have to make a phone call. I'll see you in the lobby in a bit, okay?"

The other two grinned, though they still felt like crying. They were more than sure Richard would call his girlfriend. He was guaranteed to get scared that he'd be the next one a woman would shoot down.

*

When the two had left, Richard called his girlfriend, of course. He just had to talk to her now, he realized that longing had a firm grip on him.

"Hey, sweetie, how are you?" he started. His whole body was tingling and this one was craving his girlfriend all attention. He noticed it, his pants were getting more than tight. Crap, and that just before they were about to leave for the gig. What was he supposed to do now? He was blushing. Thank God he had a wide coat on, you couldn't see everything right away.

"It goes like this. I'm pretty stressed out with work right now." She sighed. "But I miss you, and more than I should!" came from the small receiver. Richard smiled slightly. Oh yes, he missed his Sylvie too, and how.

Then an idea came to him.

"Say, what do you say you and Paul's Jenny join us in France at the end of November, provided her boss gives her the day off?" asked Richard.

A small low cry sounded at the other end. "Are you serious?" she inquired.

"Well, of course I'm serious. Otherwise I wouldn't say something like that." That was by far the best idea he had just come up with. "I'd say we send Markus over to you and Jenny. He's one of our drivers for all sorts of little errands. He'll take you to the airport."

Richard had been talking himself into a frenzy, but Sylvie interrupted him. "Yes, and what if Jenny doesn't get a vacation after all?"

Richard thought about it, but he didn't believe it. Kalle was a fan of them anyway, and he had already told Paul that it wouldn't be a problem; if necessary, he would hire a part-time employee. And he told Sylvie the same thing. You could literally hear the lump of relief fall from her heart. "I'll check the flights from Hamburg tomorrow. Or should I send you our jet?"

Sylvie snorted. "Your jet? So you're not decadent at all, are you?" She was still laughing.

Richard took a more pragmatic view. "Nah, we're really not. It's just that we've found that having our own jet is incredibly convenient instead of driving around in a tour bus all the time," he defended himself.

"Hmm, does it have your logo on it?" Sylvie still had to grin.

"Yes, but only very small. The one you can see on the net, the fans have specially retouched on it." Richard thought that was kind of cute of her fans. He realized once again that he was so proud of this band and everything that came with it. He had the best job in the world, he had the best friends in the world, even if they could be a pain in the ass sometimes. And maybe luck was finally with him when it came to love and long-term relationships. He realized he was drifting off with his thoughts....

"... I can understand that. But you're also on the bus now, aren't you?" Sylvie brought him back to reality. They were quite a gang, my goodness.

"Yep, we are. But only because Flake is still so afraid of flying. And if it's reasonably timed, we're taking the bus."
Richard looked up briefly to see his friends slowly arriving in the lobby. He still had his little "problem" to take care of. He really didn't want to do that in the stadium.

"Poor guy. I'm not a big fan of flying either. But sometimes there's no other way." She almost murmured into the phone, which Richard found more than arousing. Somehow he had to say goodbye to his sweetheart now. But why not with his hand down his pants? He grinned wickedly.

"Sweetie, I have to..." He swallowed, realizing he was already getting hard again. "...Take care of something..." He groaned, because it was starting to pull a little uncomfortably in his loins after all. But Sylvie didn't catch it - at least not right away.

He hastily got up with his cell phone to his ear and dashed, as fast as he could in his elevator, towards the hotel restrooms. He noticed Paul's perplexed look in the corner of his eye, then he had already disappeared into one of the cubicles.

He had hung his coat on the hook and was now in his pants with his left hand. Sylvie had caught on now and was whispering little smut in his ear. He leaned against the toilet wall, put his head in the neck and his hand became faster and faster. His pants had finally slipped down over his knees now, giving him more room to move.

Gasping and moaning, he poured out as an incredible orgasm overtook him, with only his girlfriend's voice in his ear. He was definitely more than underfucked, which really couldn't be, since he'd just slept with Sylvie the day before yesterday.
And yet he longed for the time when the two women would finally arrive in France. But until then it was still almost 3 weeks. How was he supposed to get through that?

He made a makeshift cleanup with toilet paper and got dressed again. "Sweetie, that was amazing." He was still out of breath. "I'm going to miss you so terribly." He was almost crying. Sex was more than just the most beautiful thing in the world to him. Sex was everything to him. And by now he believed that it wasn't just sex, but that he too had fallen in love with Sylvie. He sent a smooch through the ether as he said goodbye to her and hastily opened the cabin door, as he really had to hurry now.

And there stood Paul in front of him - grinning all over his face! Man, was that embarrassing!

Richard started to stutter. "Wha...what are you doing here?" He pushed past his colleague toward the sink and washed his hands. "And how long have you been standing here, anyway?" Displeased, he threw the paper towel into the trash can. He was about to open the door when Paul held him back.

"Long enough! Say, dude, you've got some nerve! What do you think, if someone else had been standing here now, a scandal without end. Richard Zven Kruspe has phone sex in a hotel toilet - you could have read the headline in any sausage rag!", Paul began his tirade. "I can understand you missing the girl, but couldn't you have gone to your room for something like that?" He shook his head.

"Yes, I could have, if you all hadn't already been in the lobby. When did you guys get so fast?" grumbled Richard.

"We don't have time. Come on now, princess, get your ass outside!" With that, Paul opened the door and pulled Richard with him.

Chapter Text

"Dude, how awesome was that, please?" Paul was completely full of endorphins. He was wriggling like a fish out of water and couldn't get himself together. Backstage he dropped onto a sofa and was completely exhausted. Paul loved to be on stage and to heat up the masses. Some people could still take a leaf out of his dance skills. Sometimes it was very funny when he jumped across the stage like a flummy. Richard also tried to move a little bit, but he also noticed that he wasn't twenty anymore. Age seemed to pass Paul by somehow.

"Did you see that girl with the big tits? With her everything was buxom. But with some you don't even want to know what's underneath. What you get to see is really borderline sometimes." Paul drooled in one go and Richard grinned to himself. He was right. But at the moment only his Sylvie was important to him. When he thought about the sex on the phone earlier, he felt hot again.

One by one the others arrived in the backstage area. Till was completely exhausted and first allowed himself a large bottle of water. "I'm going to take a shower first, this suit is driving me crazy." Flake disappeared dashing towards the showers and Schneider and Olli helped themselves to the rich buffet.

"Say, where's my cell phone, anyway?" asked Paul Richard. He was examining his rich pockets in his gray stage outfit, but apparently it wasn't in there.

Richard shrugged his shoulders. Paul looked annoyed and then disappeared into his dressing room.

Schneider and Olli had returned to the big communal table with fully loaded plates and were munching away.

Meanwhile, Paul was looking for his cell phone in his locker room and had finally found it. When he looked at the display and hoped that his sweetie had called, he saw a call in the absence of Mr. Müller. Oh God, that was fast. What was going on there again? Paul dropped into an armchair and dialed Mr Mueller's number. Excitedly, he nibbled on his fingernail when there was a knock at his door. Straining, he called out, "Not now!" and waited for the private detective to answer the phone.

"Landers here," Paul reported as his door opened and Richard took the next chair without being asked, not realizing at all that he was somehow out of place now.

Paul looked at him a bit pissed off, but Richard stayed seated. That was so typical again. On the one hand, of course, his best friend, but on the other hand, there was also something like privacy, of which Richard had apparently never heard. Not for nothing everyone had his own dressing room to withdraw privately, if it was necessary. But since Richard made no move to leave the dressing room, Paul resignedly pressed the speaker button on his phone so he could listen in.

"Hello, Mr Landers. There's some good news and some bad news concerning your ex-wife," Mr Mueller began to tell. Paul slid back and forth on the armchair. He always did that when he was nervous. Richard rubbed his somewhat sweaty hands on the armchair, after all he was not completely indifferent to the whole thing either.

"Alright, let's get to it!" Paul straightened and put the small phone down on the tiny coffee table.

"We were able to plant one of our undercover agents with the organization of the businessman from Hamburg. That's the good news!" continued Mr Mueller.

"Aha, that's good. And the bad one?" Paul was hypernervous and red in the face. Richard was no different. He was hot and he took off his leather stage jacket.

"It looks like your ex-wife did start an affair with this man. However, how exactly and when she came into contact with the drugs and what the substances were or are, we can only say when our man on the spot has more details." Mr Mueller paused for a moment, which Paul of course immediately jumped into.

"Yes, and now? What's the next step? Surely this can't take forever." Paul shook his head in disbelief.

"Our staff will find out as soon as possible what's really going on and to what extent your ex-wife was involved. How long something like this takes always depends on the circumstances prevailing on site," came the prompt reply from Mr Mueller, who always expressed himself very discreetly and selectively.

"All right. Whatever the circumstances are. I have one last question. Were you also able to find out anything concerning my colleague's wife?" continued Paul.

"You mean Mr. Schneider?"
"Yes, that's who I mean."
Silence on the other end. "Well, we're still a bit in the dark there, Mr. Landers. But we're on that, too. As I said, don't worry. Not even about your girlfriend in Hamburg. Try to switch off, as I've already advised you to do. I just wanted to give you a short interim report, and since Mr Lindemann was very insistent the other day that we take action even faster, I thought I'd call you directly."

"That was also very good of you. We just had a gig, that's why I couldn't answer the phone."

Paul was now a little more reassured. He looked at Richard, who was now making a face because he was worried about Sylvie. But she had nothing to do with it. But Paul understood and asked directly.
"Say, one last thing, the acquaintance from Hamburg of my other colleague on the guitar, there's nothing there, is there?"

"Who do you mean?" Mr Mueller sounded a bit incredulous.

"Well, the girlfriend of my other colleague with whom I was in Hamburg. Scholl... um, Richard is his name." Paul was still a bit excited and highly sensitized.

"Oh, you mean that fancy young woman who works in a law firm in downtown Hamburg?" Paul looked at Richard appreciatively. Until now, neither had known that Sylvie worked at the lawyer's office.
"Yes, that's right, the little one I mean," Paul said quietly.

"As a precaution, we also have someone on site, in front of the apartment building," was the curt reply. One could tell that Mr Mueller was a bit stressed.
"Okay. Then we are calmed down for the time being. But you'll let me know if there's any news?", he asked again.

"Don't worry. I'll be in touch. It might be good if your management could send me your tour schedule so I don't call you when you're on stage," was another hint from Mr Mueller.

"Sure thing. But it can also be that we have other dates. But usually it's no problem to take a call. Thanks for everything and see you soon."
Then Paul had pressed the red button on the cell phone, and Richard and he looked at each other, perplexed.

Paul stood up and paced around his dressing room. "May I?" asked Richard, lighting a cigarette after nodding from Paul. Actually, they'd better smoke outside the venue, but right now they both needed to get down. He handed Paul his pack of cigarettes and they both smoked quietly.

Until there was another knock.... Paul raised his eyes. "Come in, if it isn't a tailor!" But it was, along with his colleague on bass.

"Well, you pipes, finally found the cell phone or are we interrupting something else?" Schneider grinned smugly and Olli, who was standing next to him, couldn't help a dirty little laugh.

Paul and Richard both looked up at the same time and once again understood nothing at all.
"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, today's stage kiss was much longer and much more than the last innocent kisses before the tour break. There's something going on with you guys, finally admit it!"
Schneider sat down in one of the chairs and started to snort. Even Olli held his non-existent belly laughing. What was Paul glad that Schneider was a little distracted from his personal pain and let him.
Olli sat down on the arm of the chair and continued to grin like a honey-cake horse.

"What, you guys are out of your minds! It's been part of the show for years, remember?" Richard went up like a rocket, thinking this was all at face value again, he should know his colleagues and friends, but Paul had a nasty idea and stroked his arm reassuringly.

Next, he sat down on Richard's lap, getting close to his face so that Richard could feel his breath on his skin. Richard tried to put a little distance between himself and Paul. But Paul took his face in both hands and kissed him, very gently, very slowly, very tenderly. And really. Richard didn't even know what happened to him when Paul's tongue bumped against his lips, begging for entrance. He had his eyes wide open, but Paul stroked his cheek lovingly.

Paul whispered softly to his lips that he should join in, and that would finally put an end to all the nagging.

Richard was visibly startled, because he would never have expected this. He would do almost anything for the show, even give Paul a kiss. But this - this was more than a kiss. Slowly he opened his mouth and had to admit that Paul's soft lips somehow turned him on. He tasted good and he smelled good too. His tongue sensed Paul's and slowly the two tongues played around each other before Paul stepped on the gas a little and it became incredibly passionate. Richard's heart was pounding wildly as if he was just getting his first kiss ever. He had made out so many times in his life, but this kiss here was different again and of an unseemly amount of tenderness like he had never experienced before. He held onto the smaller man and slowly stroked his sides. With Paul he felt safe, nothing could actually happen. Actually!

And even if it looked like it at the moment, Richard and Paul were by no means gay and certainly not in a relationship. Richard had had the one or other adventure with men in earlier years, just like Paul, but both had preferred women at some point.

But for the little joke he went along with it, until he unfortunately realized that it left him anything but cold. The little stage kisses were okay, that went only seconds, but this here, that was already a completely different caliber. Richard was incredibly excited and that because his colleague and best friend did things with him that were so deliciously forbidden and indecent. He visibly relaxed and enjoyed....

... but before Richard really got going, Paul had already ended the kiss, and the two jokers named Schneider and Olli looked startled.

Grinning, Paul broke away from him a bit, and the sight of the two colleagues looking stupidly out of the laundry alone was worth it, Richard thought. He inconspicuously put his hands in his lap. Hopefully his little friend would calm down in a moment. So, if he was getting tough on his fellow guitarist now, too, he needed help badly. This was not normal.

"That's how you do it, bags. So, now let's get out of here! Richard and I have something to talk about."

That was the end of the matter for Paul. He climbed off Richard's lap, threw himself back into the other chair and his smile ran from ear to ear. Schneider and Olli rose wordlessly and left the locker room just as wordlessly. Quietly, the two closed the door behind them.

"Haha, good riddance. So, and now? Do we still want to drink something in the hotel or something or are you already tired, Scholle?", Paul asked also immediately further, as if nothing had happened. Richard was so lost in thought about what he had just experienced that he didn't even notice how Paul asked him. And his erection continued to press hard against his tight leather pants, of course.

"Hello, earth to Scholle, where are you right now with your thoughts? With your sweetie?" Paul wiggled his eyebrows. How could he just overlook such an intense experience, Richard couldn't handle that at all.

Richard sat up, cleared his throat and wanted to get up. But Paul pushed him back into the pillows.
"Nothing there. What now? Another nightcap or bed?"

"Um, don't be mad at me, I'm really tired, Paul. Should you talk to your Jenny, maybe she already knows if she and Sylvie can come to France at the end of November. You can ask her."
With that, he rose for good, turned his back to Paul so that he could take his leather jacket from the armchair. And holding it in front of his stomach so that the jacket was over his crotch, he stepped out the door.

A dazed Paul was left behind. He shook his head with a grin. Hach, wonderful, how Schneider and Olli had looked. There was really nothing between him and Richard. But they fell for every joke.

"Say, you're still here. I would go to the hotel now." With that, Flake came into his dressing room. He was freshly showered. "I think the others have already left."

Paul nodded and Flake closed the door behind him. "I'll shower at the hotel." With that, he took off his stage clothes for their crew's laundry service. He threw on jeans, a T-shirt and pulled on his boots. Then he gathered his personal belongings and followed Flake - still a bit pensive, thinking about Richard's reaction to his kiss.

Chapter Text

Quickly, Richard had been back in his hotel room. And he had taken care of his little "problem" by taking a cold shower. But he also had to ask himself, please what was that between him and Paul right now?

Before the concert he had been exchanging smut on the phone with his Sylvie and now he was getting hard because Paul had stuck his tongue down his throat? His Paul, his best friend for countless years. He really needed to go to therapy. Was he really a sex addict? And did he care who was hitting on him, even his guitar mate? Did he just want sex - male or female? Was he even willing to have a serious relationship with just one person? Was that one person a woman or a man? Or was he ready to have a relationship with both sexes?

In all those years, he had done more than nothing wrong. He had fathered three children, he loved them all idolatrously. He had had several longer relationships, all of which unfortunately fell apart because he just couldn't be faithful. As Paul said, as soon as a buxom bunny danced in front of his eyes and turned him on, Richard could only think of one thing. This finally had to stop. He was acting like a love-struck teenager, yet he was 54, so he was no longer fresh fruit either. He was really confused.

He took off his stage clothes, which he wanted to leave in the venue for the laundry service. He smelled them, well, that was fine for tomorrow.

Then he put on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. He stepped out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette. Silently, he inhaled the smoke. He looked at the stars and could have cried because he didn't know how to get out of this dilemma.

He urgently needed to talk to someone about it. But with whom? Paul was out of the question, he was the main person.

He couldn't talk to Schneider and Olli, they just made a mockery of everything, even though Schneider didn't have much to laugh about at the moment.

He couldn't talk to Flake either, although he could probably understand him well. After all, he had once succumbed to his lust when his wife was away for a long time in the 90s, and they played this incredibly long tour. Flake had been chasing after a cute French girl in Paris, who eventually heard him out because he really brought out the tough romance club with candlelight dinners and roses. What a drama that had been, so that nothing would flow to Jenny in Berlin. But everyone had kept mum, and in the end Flake had confessed it to his wife himself. And it was good that he had done that, because otherwise there would have been a crack in the relationship. Jenny had forgiven him at some point. Since then, Flake has been as faithful as gold. But since Flake was Paul's oldest friend, he was also eliminated.

That left only one - Till. He probably knew him best of all. Till didn't miss a beat either. And without Till, he would never have ended up in this band. And he would never have met Paul either. Sometimes he wished it had been that way. But without Paul, he couldn't either.

He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray, went back to his room, grabbed his cell phone, and was about to dial Till's number when there was a knock on his door, and it was emphatic.

Richard yanked the door open - Paul! Of course! He strolled into his room as a matter of course, sat down on the couch and was about to start babbling again when Richard quickly walked over to him, put his finger over his mouth and took a seat next to him.

"Shh... First I'll tell." It just so happened that Paul was there, so he might as well talk to him and get this little "issue" out of the way. He thought...

Paul nodded and Richard started. "Okay. This is not easy for me, Paulchen, but please what was that in your dressing room earlier?"

Paul looked at him innocently. "What do you mean, Scholle?" That nasty little dwarf. He knew exactly what Richard wanted to tell him. Oh well, if he wanted to play, he'd play along.

He now sat down on Paul's lap, took his face in his hands and pressed his abdomen against Paul's middle. Then he kissed him just as demandingly as Paul had kissed him earlier, and just as he had earlier, he demanded entry into his mouth with his tongue. Paul flinched a little too, but he slowly opened his lips so Richard could very slowly sneak his tongue into Paul's mouth. This time Richard stroked Paul's cheek very gently and tenderly.

Only the difference this time was that BOTH got hard. Startled, both also ended the kiss and breathed heavily. Then Richard got up from Paul's lap. In doing so, he almost tripped over his feet and just barely managed to catch himself.

"Shit, Paul, what is this? Since when do I have a crush on you and you apparently have a crush on me? I can't believe this!"

Richard wasn't sure what Paul would answer, but he wanted to know, at least to some extent, what this was all about. There was no way it could go on like this. How were they both supposed to handle it, especially on stage with the stage kissing in front of thousands of fans? He, at least for his part, would be totally inhibited every time, and eventually even the last spectator would notice that something was wrong.

Paul looked at him attentively, apparently studying every emotion in Richard's face.

"I don't know either, Scholle. It just happened, there's nothing you can do." Paul shrugged his shoulders. The fact that he accepted it so easily and that Richard really had to nibble at it was unbelievable. Paul was apparently much more relaxed in this respect. Richard had always thought that Paul was the one who was stuck in his head.

Richard stood brooding in front of his colleague and best friend, then sat down across from him. "But we have to talk about it. I mean, I'm totally smitten with my sweetie and you're smitten with your Jenny. So, please, what's the deal with us? I'm not gay, nor do I plan on being attracted to men. And I certainly don't want to be with you. Don't get me wrong, you're sweet, loving and the best friend one can imagine, you've already saved me from some shit, but a love affair with you? Nah, Paule, I can't imagine that with the best will in the world." Was that really the case?

"Neither can I, Scholle, but that our bodies react like that, and to us, is quite strange. Maybe we're underfucked, it's possible."

"No, that can't be. We've only recently said goodbye to our girls, so ratty, as you always say so nicely, maybe we were once in our more active times, but not now. That's sick, honestly. I thought it was just me who was so addicted to sex, but I can't believe you're like this now. And who's to blame?" Richard thought frantically.

"Well, the dear colleagues, who else?" came from Paul as if shot out of a pistol.
Richard continued to think. "Or maybe we shouldn't do the kissing thing on stage?"

Paul looked at him, startled. "Nah, that would probably be too much. And the fans would definitely ask for the kiss during "Foreigner". So, that's not a good idea."

Richard nodded in affirmation. "All right, but we have to get out of this somehow. The only question is how?"

"Maybe a little peck on the cheek?" began Paul tentatively. Richard shook his head.

"That's stupid! The fans notice that. They are really waiting for our stage kiss."

"Or if you put your hand in front of it and we just pretend?"

"Also stupid. We pull this through, and if we notice, there is again something, which does not belong there, should we then nevertheless times in large round address." Richard nodded his head in affirmation, probably just to boil it down a bit.

"In the big round? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'm definitely not going to spill my reaction to you in front of the guys. You can kiss that goodbye. Then it will be even worse with the slander. That's enough already."

Richard noticed how he was getting tired. This whole discussion was useless. They had to try this out somehow. "Paulchen, don't be angry with me, but I think I finally have to go to bed." Richard yawned profusely. Tomorrow he had to be fit, just like everyone else. The next concert was coming up in Prague. After that they went on to Bratislava. There, too, they played two concerts.

"All right. Good night then." Paul said goodbye, was a bit introverted, which was extremely noticeable with him, since he was usually in a good mood. He left a thoughtful Richard behind. Somehow they still hadn't really settled the issue.

Richard took off his clothes except for his boxers and finally lay down in his bed. But sleep was out of the question, because he continued to brood. And slowly he cursed this idea of Till, that both kissed on stage. The message was clear, but whether all this really still had to be, he was no longer so sure. The whole thing started in Russia and was very well received by the audience. But he hadn't kissed Paul in the past either, especially not in front of the audience. Well, they had always shared the little caresses, but nothing more.

And to make matters worse, his cell phone rang in the middle of the night. Annoyed, he fished it off his nightstand.

Paul! Again. What did he want now? Richard ignored the call and put the phone back, but Paul didn't give up. "Paulchen, what is it now?" he answered the phone strained.

"Reesh, what do you say we just try this out?", Paul started. Richard wasn't sure what he meant.

"Please what do you want to try, Paulchen?" He was alarmed because he suddenly wasn't so sure what Paul was aiming at.

Paul was fumbling around on the phone, but couldn't really get the words out. "Well, I mean, maybe we should get together ... you know..." He wasn't really talking about sleeping with him. THAT would be really more than intense.

"What, nope, right? Well, the kiss was already more than hot and turned us both on. But the fact that you still want to go to the extreme now, that.... that's really gross!" Richard's heart stumbled, and he wasn't sure if this was all a good idea on Paul's part.

He sat up in his bed and couldn't believe any of this. He had known Paul for over 30 years, and NOW he came up with an idea like this? After all this eternity? Well, that they always cuddled together on stage, he was used to that and it was really nice when they got along like that - but as friends and not as lovers. Damn it!

He thought wistfully of Sylvie and didn't want to cheat on her. He had always thought that he would be unfaithful if such a "buxom bunny", as Paul called it, came along on tour and he would and had to stand firm there, because he owed that to himself and his sweetie. But this, this had not been foreseen and brought him completely out of the concept.

He had no problems with having sex with a man, he had already tried everything, and was not really his thing. But with Paul? Had he really sunk so low that he was now already pining over his best friend and colleague? But actually, this whole kissing thing was all about him. And all that only because he had to smack Olli and Schneider around. Paul always with his glorious ideas. Unfortunately, these usually went into the pants - so also this time.

"Scholle, are you still there?" came again from the small receiver. Richard was startled, because he had been so lost in thought that he had completely forgotten about Paul.

"Yes, I am. So, Paulchen, honestly, I don't know what's the point? I mean, we both know we're into women, and you and Jenny want to build something up, just like I do with my sweetie," he rebuffed, but Paul didn't let up.

"I know that, Scholle. That is also still so. But you can't just ignore what the kissing triggered in both of us."

"I don't want to, but do we have to go to extremes for that? Don't you think that's a bit excessive? Especially since neither of us are definitely gay now." Richard shook his head, which Paul couldn't see.

"Over the top? Nah, I don't think so. And I wouldn't say definitely not gay either. But I would have liked to know if it's just our bodies reacting or if there are feelings involved," came the prompt reply.

Richard was excited, he found Paul very attractive, no question about it, but this story was no small feat. He had to think about it, he couldn't decide something like that ad hoc, and he told the little boy that. Besides, he had to sleep now, otherwise he would be in a bad mood tomorrow, and nobody wanted a bad-tempered lead guitarist. At the latest, when he let the diva hang out, he had a huge problem with Till - and he didn't want that now.

He pressed the little red button, put the cell phone on the nightstand and looked at the time. 02:30 a.m. - great. He snuggled into his sheets. And finally sleep overcame him.

Chapter Text

The next day, Richard awoke to the sun's rays streaming into his room through the large windows. The weather was beautiful for this time of year, and he was looking forward to tonight's concert. He was still tired, but he swung out of bed more buoyant than usual and trotted to the shower.

He quietly hummed a tune to himself that had been stuck in his head for days. It would be something for Emigrate, he had to write it down and put it into sheet music.

So he hurried with his morning grooming and wrapped only a towel around his hips, makeup for the show came later. Then he sat down on the terrace with his pad and wrote down his ideas. As he did so, he lit his first cigarette and slowly inhaled the smoke. And as he did so, he thought of Paul again, of their discussion yesterday, which ended with him wanting to think it over.

How was he supposed to do that, please? What should he answer Paul? Should he really dare, as an experiment, so that they both knew they weren't into each other, which Richard assumed, but that their bodies had played a trick on them? And what if there was more to it than just pure carnal lust? What a shit all...

It was maddening. No matter how he twisted and turned it, he kept coming back to the same point. He would HAVE to try it out, otherwise he would keep thinking about their stage kissing, what it would be like if there had been more going on between him and Paul than these innocent kisses. But did he actually have to try out everything in his life? What did he mean by try out? He had tried it before and it wasn't his thing. But not with Paul, his Paul, the man who fascinated him so much... on all levels. But he had never thought about this level, not in all these years. And now it should be like this??? Why just now?
He sighed loudly, pushed his cigarette butt into the ashtray and was about to get dressed when there was another knock at his door. Couldn't one think about something in peace for once? Annoyed, Richard trotted toward the door....

Paul! Of course, who else?

And of course, this time he came into his room without being asked. And he had nothing on except his boxer shorts. Richard got hot and cold, and he didn't know how to react. Man, it was Paul, his friend, his closest confidant. How many times had he seen him naked and never had anything happened there, let alone him going at it like that. So why the hell now???? Now that he had finally found a woman worth being truly faithful to - for longer than just a few months.

He couldn't! Not like this! He had to think about it in peace - but Paul didn't give him a chance!

He didn't flinch for long and pressed himself so close to Richard that the towel parted toward the floor. Oh, my God! Richard stood naked in front of his colleague and best friend. He didn't know what to do, feeling incredibly vulnerable. But Paul took the initiative, tantalizingly slowly and pleasurably running his hands over his sides, kissing him tenderly. Then he gently pushed him back onto the bed.

Now, yes exactly NOW would be the point where Richard could, would, would end all this... did he want to? Could he? He looked at him and knew he had lost. Lost against his feelings, which he felt more and more and which had nothing, but nothing to do with Sylvie, but with him, his Paulchen, his friend, his colleague, his support in his sometimes very black hours.

The answer was simple: he would NOT end it, this was already too good to even think about such a question.

*

In the meantime, this same Paul crawled agonizingly slowly over him and tremblingly kissed his way from Richard's face over his chest into his lower regions. Richard watched him very closely as he did so. Paul was beautiful; even more so when he looked so intensely and intently. His eyes were half closed, his cheekbones were working and a light film of sweat covered his forehead with the little wrinkles. He smelled of lust and excitement and that made him even more attractive.

Now he was slowly licking over Richard's stiff little nipples, which made Richard let out a sigh. Paul was just as excited as Richard, you could tell by his shaking hands. He was quivering with tension and horniness.

His beautiful hands that were so tender at the moment and like Richard had never been allowed to feel from him before. What was Richard actually thinking? But it was true, somehow everything about Paul was just beautiful. Even the wrinkles on his face, that prominent chin line - all of that belonged to him, made him incredibly attractive. He was one of those guys that age couldn't touch, who became more desirable every year.

And exactly this man wanted to sleep with him NOW??? Richard was somehow afraid of it and yet he had a desire for Paul that was beyond anything he had experienced in his life so far.

Richard clawed surrenderingly with both hands into the bed sheet, pushed through his back and laid his head panting in the neck. He knew how this would end, and he hadn't expected it to happen so soon. But Paul knew exactly what he wanted and energetically put it into practice. Richard noticed by his throbbing loins that this did not leave him cold, of course. His whole abdomen contracted. And he had to admit it to himself: He wanted Paul - here and now! The carousel of thoughts continued to spin incredibly fast. He deeply absorbed Paul's scent, this masculine scent that was just so overwhelming and so familiar that Richard felt completely different. He wanted to taste him, touch him, be one with him - God, what was he thinking?

Oh yes, Paul knew what he was doing... and he was good at it, very good in fact. You could tell he definitely wasn't doing this for the first time. Richard had just now become agonizingly aware of that again.

Paul had often had male bed partners in his youth. But in recent years there had been nothing more, at least Richard thought. He believed that he had always been faithful to his wife - until, yes, until she had said goodbye. And actually, he had also thought that Paul was faithful to his Jenny ... uaaaah, what was that little beast doing with him?

The "little beast" now tenderly embraced Richard's growing length with his big rough hands, smiled wickedly and kissed his way up his shaft with his incredibly soft lips. As he did so, he licked innocently over Richard's glans again and again until the first drops formed. He looked at Richard cheekily from below without blinking. That alone belonged already forbidden. Those incredibly beautiful blue eyes, which grew darker with lust from second to second, and which always seemed as if the mischief was on his neck. And then he took him in his mouth as deep as he could. Richard swallowed hard and surrendered completely.

"Oh Paul... ohaaah..." Richard couldn't and wouldn't control himself. He was tense to bursting and all his blood was pooling in his center. He pushed himself against Paul's mouth uninhibitedly and would have liked to come on the spot. But he tried to remain calm. He wanted to enjoy this at least a little bit. And Paul also tried to stay calm and let him slide out of his mouth again and again, only to put his lips around Richard's length again right after that, while he had his hand on Richard's belly and stroked him.

THIS was definitely not what Richard had ever expected. He had so hoped for a one-time thing when Paul had kissed him with tongue. But that was now just as invalid as his mind, which retreated into spheres where one could only grin inanely, because this was just way too nice... what Paul was doing to him.

Nothing could be heard in the room except moans and the soft smacking sounds of Paul's lips. If he continued like this.... But Paul suddenly let go of him. He had taken precautions. Wherever he suddenly conjured up that little bottle of lube, it was there and he slowly lubed Richard's length with it.

"What... what are you doing?" stuttered Richard, looking down at Paul in disbelief. But the latter now directed him so that now he lay under Richard and immediately spread his legs wide.

"Well, I think you know what to do!" came harshly from Paul's throat. Jahaa, Richard knew that.
"But without a condom?" he pressed out, now smearing his fingers with the stuff too.

"Yeah, without... now come on!" Paul was getting impatient. Richard wasn't sure, after all Paul's insides were territory for him - and yes damn it, forbidden territory too. But what little sanity was left after all this activity spoke up.
Richard rose heavily from the willing body beneath him. He searched, erratically and blindly, next to the bed for his pants, where he hoped to find a condom. Lucky for him, there was one there. Sometimes he could actually rely on himself.

When he finally fished it out of his pants pocket with his fingers, he shakily tore open the package and pulled the rubber over his length.

He wanted to prepare Paul and widen his entrance so it didn't hurt so much. After all, this kind of sex wasn't like with a girl who got wet on her own. And he didn't want Paul to not enjoy it because everything hurt him. Richard had been "down" from time to time in his life, too, and knew that as an active man you could do a lot wrong there.

But Paul reluctantly wiped his hand aside and hissed impatiently "I said do!". At the same time, he looked at him with a look that brooked no contradiction and that Richard rarely saw in his cheerful Paul.

Richard was really startled and looked at him with wide eyes. That had to hurt, but if he moved slowly... Maybe Paul was into pain. Hadn't he once said something about it when he was with his Jenny...?

Richard concentrated doggedly not to hurt his friend unnecessarily ... and then it was time.

As if in slow motion, he pushed his cock forward into Paul's hot tightness. Paul groaned in pain, bit his lips and laid his head back. Sweat was pouring off his face and he had his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Damn it! Richard had known it, why did the little one have to push his head through all the time... no, he didn't want him to be in pain, his Paulchen... he tenderly stroked his flat belly, which rose and fell with strain.

"Relax, Paulchen!" was the only thing Richard managed to say. He looked at him closely, but now Paul smiled contentedly as his body became accustomed to Richard's cock.

Then Richard moved carefully inside him and Paul picked up his rhythm. He wrapped his legs around Richard's body and had a firm grip on his own cock, which was more than rock hard. The rhythm with which Richard thrust into him and that of his hand on his cock became a common rhythm. With his other hand, he held onto Richard's shoulder.

They both gasped and moaned as their lower bodies met in even faster rhythm.
"I .... Rich... ooooooaaah." Paul screamed out all his lust uninhibitedly and reared back. Richard kept trying to hit Paul's most sensitive spot inside him and what they both felt at that moment was so so hot that Richard was sweating like he was doing hard labor, which was true in a way, and Paul's sweat was also flowing down his body in rivulets.

Shining bodies in the sun... that's what Paul had to think of as he poured himself, wincing, into Richard's hand - first. Richard came right after him, ejaculating his seed in waves deep inside Paul's body into the condom. Their two climaxes were very long and only very slowly did they both come back to the here and now.

Richard let himself fall exhausted on Paul. The latter lay under him as if shot and gasped choppily.

"Oh, that was awesome ..."

When he had calmed down to some extent, he hugged and kissed Richard tenderly and gently stroked his back. Richard very slowly and carefully withdrew from him. He disposed of the condom in the bucket next to his bed. Then he slid onto his back and pulled Paul into a gentle embrace. As he did so, he realized that tears were running down his face, from relief, from love, from melancholy. He didn't know for sure. Paul was crying as well.

"Paulchen, my Paulchen..." He swallowed because it had been so beautiful and he told him so. "It was beautiful, really beautiful." whispered Richard in relief against Paul's ear, kissing along his hairline. Everything about and inside Paul was so familiar, he felt safe, arrived. And he meant it just the same. It had been really nice.
But was there more to it than just the sex and feelings for Paul? He listened to himself. Hm... no idea.

Paul was lolling under him and holding him tight. "Oh yeah, that was it." He spoke softly, almost murmuring, and wrapped his arms even tighter around Richard. The situation was so surreal and unfamiliar that even Sunshine could only manage the bare minimum of words.

He grinned his Paul grin. At that moment, Richard knew that it wasn't just the sex that had been incredibly pleasurable for him, but that the feelings for Paul were more than intense... and shit, that wasn't really helping him now.

They had slept together to find out if there was just carnal desire behind it or more.... But then Richard hadn't really figured it out either.

No question, he had one of the most adorable people under him, but he was also his friend, his best friend. How, please, were they ever going to get a handle on this?

"So, what's your insight now?" Richard needed to know. After all, he wasn't so sure what to make of the whole thing anymore. Paul pondered, furrowing his brow.

"I really don't know ... maybe we should check this off as an experience?" Slowly and somewhat disappointed, Richard nodded. What else could they do? He was glad that Paul saw the whole thing a bit more pragmatically than he did. Although, he had gotten a bit more into it... but why?

"And do you think our stage kissing will be any different?" Paul looked at him questioningly.

Richard shook his head. "Nah, I think we'll continue to enjoy it and see it as a joke and goodie for the fans. Okay?"
Richard deliberately acted so cool, even though he wasn't. Because he couldn't cheat his heart, it kept tripping in his chest and he was still excited like before his first date.

"Okay, I can live with that," Paul snapped him out of his recurring thoughts and kissed Richard gently on the mouth.

They lay naked in Richard's hotel bed for quite a while, tightly embraced, kissing and caressing each other very passionately. Richard could get used to Paul's kisses and gentle caresses permanently, Paul kissed incredibly well and he didn't even want to talk about the gentle hands that triggered so much in him.

They still showered together, but nothing more happened sexually, which Richard somehow regretted. Paul was quite different. He had said quite directly that it was nice, but nothing more. Had it really been a one-time thing for him, too? He couldn't imagine that it all bounced off Paul so emotionlessly, he wasn't the type for that at all.

"Well, see you in a bit!" Paul dried himself off, put his boxers back on and rushed out of Richard's room - albeit with somewhat wobbly legs. Richard grinned.

But now that Paul had left, he was kind of sad, and finally after all these years, he could understand their song "Frühling in Paris." He felt cold when Paul left his skin. That was stupid, after all he had had so much sex in his life, but there had never been this feeling. He was probably just overexcited, after all, that could be. Couldn't it? Or not? Unfortunately, it was still maddening.

*

He continued to ponder. So that was it, the brief but beautiful sex with his best friend. Richard was disappointed, although he would never admit that to Paul. Sure, it had been beautiful, though far too brief. Had he fallen in love with Paul? Was it that easy to explain what he was going through? But really, he was far too straight for that, or so he thought. But this realization alone, and being as close to Paul as it was possible to get, that was kind of - phew, very hot, and Richard couldn't just go about business as usual.

Above all, he didn't want to miss the kisses - and the real ones - with Paul anymore. But how was that supposed to work? He couldn't and wasn't allowed to kiss Paul all the time and everywhere, just because he thought it was so great. At the latest, when their two girlfriends would arrive in November, that would probably be over anyway. Really?

Richard tightened up. Now was the time to stop all the brooding. After all, they had a job to do and had to play a concert tonight and leave in two hours at the latest, so there was still time for a little brunch.

Richard finally got dressed and was about to shoot out of his hotel room when there was a knock and he almost tripped over a tearful tailor who was about to knock on his hotel room door.

"Oh God, what do you look like, Christoph?" Richard was visibly startled. Tears were running down the big drummer's face, he couldn't get himself together at all. Richard put an arm around him and Schneider let himself be pulled along without resistance.
"I wanted to eat something. Come on, then you can tell me what's going on!"

Schneider just nodded apathetically and Richard pulled his hotel room door closed. Together they walked toward the exit.

He had seen a nice little café yesterday when they were dropped off in front of the hotel. Surely it would be good to have breakfast there. He ran ahead and at the next corner was the little café. He pushed Schneider in front of him and they placed themselves in a more secluded corner.

Chapter Text

„You know, Richard, I really tried everything. But I would never have thought that she would dump me so coldly. I feel like a piece of me has just been cut off."
Schneider sniffled to himself and Richard, who was sitting opposite him, tried to comfort him, which was not so easy. It was very sad to see the big man so broken. He also never thought that Ulrike would ever leave Schneider.
On the other hand, he also never thought that he would sleep with a certain rhythm guitarist and that he would also like it so much.

... and again his thoughts turned only around one person - Paul Landers!

He pulled himself together, because now he had to be there for his other friend, completely. He felt incredibly sorry for Schneider. Especially the way his wife had left him. That was just as bad as with Paul.

Paul - and always Paul! Would that ever change? He finally had to talk about it with someone who had nothing to do with it. But Schneider was really the wrong person to talk to, he had enough to deal with himself right now and he didn't want to burden him with his problems.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He looked irritated at the display.

Sylvie!

Shit, his sweet Sylvie. He had completely forgotten his girlfriend in all the emotional chaos. He couldn't talk to her now. He had to break it to her gently with Paul and of course not on the phone, but in person.
Besides, he had to take care of Schneider. He pushed her away. It wasn't the polite thing to do, but there was no other way at the moment.

But to make matters worse, the cell phone rang again - Paul! No! Not now! He couldn't talk to him now! So he pushed him away, too, and put his cell phone in his jacket pocket.

"Chris, you need to calm down. How do you want to play tonight if you're so preoccupied with Ulrike and all that shit? Sure, it's all not really nice, but that private detective is on it after all, and we'll find out what all went down. It's the same with Arielle." Richard nodded to his words. "And please eat something, I know you don't feel like eating, but you can't go hungry all day. And you should drink something too. Because otherwise you'll faint at our fire show."

Schneider looked at him sadly and now also a little defiantly. After all, he had angrily wiped the tears from his face. "Doesn't matter, somehow everything doesn't matter right now... besides, I'm sitting," came dryly from him.
Richard pulled his eyes up and grabbed another roll. He was hungry as a wolf, which was no wonder after this experience with Paul. He was already thinking about his colleague again.

Okay, so what? Richard decided that he really had to tell someone what Paul and he had been up to. Driven... how that sounded... like in a cheap porno.
And whether Schneider was heartbroken or not, there was no one he could tell such a thing to at the moment. So it came down to one try, didn't it? And maybe Schneider didn't think it was soooo bad what had happened between him and Paul. Richard knew that it was very selfish, but what could he do? It was all maddening, and he hated himself for starting his problems now, instead of comforting Schneider, who was really going down the drain right now. But maybe his little problem would distract Schneider from his current worries. That would be good.
He fussed, and when Schneider looked at him questioningly, he began to talk quietly.

"Tell me, have you actually had any experience with men?" Schneider looked even more questioning now. "Well, I mean, like ... well, you know..." Richard looked at his plate and blushed. He, of all people, who wasn't usually so prudish and shy. He felt as if he had done something else and would now be punished for it.

Schneider continued to look at him lurkingly. Now he did take a roll and almost raped it, because he was hitting the roll so hard with the knife that Richard was afraid he would hurt himself.

"What are you trying to say?" Schneider was now all ears and had perhaps forgotten a bit about his plight, which was not such a bad thing and aimed exactly in the direction Richard wanted - namely to distract Schneider from his worries. At the same time, Richard didn't dare look at his friend. He was totally embarrassed, even though nothing should be embarrassing when it comes to love.

Love? What a big word. Was it really love that he felt for Paul? And did he want to live it out with all the trimmings? But what would happen to Sylvie then? Could he even make love to her again without any transition, after he had been allowed to share this unbelievably good sex with Paul? And again, his thoughts just spun in circles.

"Richard?" the drummer inquired.

Richard looked up, he had totally forgotten Schneider had asked him anything. "Yeah?"
Schneider raised his shoulders and his hands. "Well?"

"Well, have you ever slept with a man?" Richard was now looking directly at him tensely.

Schneider's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Um, nope, never. And never really thought about it either. I've only ever been in the sack with women." He nodded at that. "Why?"

Richard stroked his face. He was tired of having to hide all this. And he was tired of constantly thinking, what would be how where when? Then it would have to be on the total confrontation tour, or he would never get any rest.

"I just slept with Paul!"

Rummms, that had hit home. Schneider almost fell off the bench and stared at him in such disbelief that it almost seemed funny again. Yeah right, like a badly made movie.

"You got waaaaas?" Schneider was beside himself. "Tell me, are you nuts, Scholle?" Schneider's voice almost rolled over. "Man, you can't be that underfucked. It hasn't been that long since we said goodbye to your sweetie! What's the matter with you?" Schneider shook his head again in disbelief and talked himself into a rage. "Have you ever thought about how your sweetie or Paul's Jenny would feel if they found out?" And another shake of the head. "And they will find out, count on it! One of you is going to slip up, or worse, they'll know by your reactions to each other! And then? How are you going to explain that to the girls?" He waved his arms. "Dude, you're not going to believe any of this." He leaned back on the bench, put his arms on the backrest and pulled up his eyes, puffing with a pinched mouth.

And Richard looked like a whipped dog with drooping shoulders and even more drooping head. "But..." he began meekly.

"Nothing but. Jeez, Richard, the rest of the tour goes on for three weeks now. Three fucking weeks. You can give your dick a break, can't you? It can't be all that hard! I just don't get it. You're not twenty anymore. And why with Paul? What are you doing? Is this your hundredth midlife crisis and you have to start something with men, too, or what?"

He put the bread knife aside and grabbed a piece of ham from the cold cuts platter. Chewing, he continued to grumble to himself.

"And Paul, of all people. What does he have to say about all this? And from whom did this shit actually originate? How do you come up with something like that? Is it the stupid kisses on stage, did they instill in you that you could make more out of it, so very private and so that no one notices, except of course yourselves? Because that's just how it goes, especially with us, right? Do you know what will happen if Till finds out or the others? That's going to be fun, you can believe that!"

Yes, of course Schneider was right. One hundred percent. But there was unfortunately more, at least with Richard.

"You're right, Chris. I'm just afraid that's not it yet!", it came even more meekly from Richard.

"What do you mean? What do you mean?"
Schneider leaned forward again and sat in front of Richard like an avenging angel. His face was flushed red with excitement.

"Nah, right? Please, please don't tell me you've fallen in love with Paul? Not after all these years together!"

The drummer was so blindsided that he couldn't even think straight. Ulrike and all his private shit were so non-existent right now, he was way too busy trying to comprehend this whole messed up box of his best friends, which was incredibly hard for him. Paul and Richard in the box together? That was just so off-the-wall that Schneider couldn't get behind it.

Richard shrugged guiltily. "I think that's how it is - unfortunately! I don't know either, why? Have you ever really looked at Paul, how beautiful he is? How unbelievably loving, how tender, that smile when he ...", Richard really started to gush.

"Stop!" Schneider put his index finger over Richard's mouth. "That's sick, Scholle, really sick! You're talking about our longtime friend and colleague here. We're talking about Paul. Our Paul." He took his finger from Richard's lips. "And please, since when do you actually like men?"

Richard fussed again until Schneider took his chin and forced him to look at him and come out with it.

"Well, I had some gay experiences in my youth, sometimes with older people, sometimes with boys from my wrestling team. But that was it. It wasn't my thing. Not until the day before yesterday. I never expected that these innocent stage kisses with Paul would become more. Actually they were meant as a statement. And were something like a little joke between Paul and me."

He thought hard, then broke away from Schneider and kept talking.
"But just so you know, that's all Paul's fault. HE sat down on my lap and kissed me properly. That I got hard from it, I couldn't do anything about it. And actually you and Olli are not without! You have teased us all the time with the oh so long kiss at the last concert! So!" Richard defended himself.

Schneider laughed mirthlessly and shook his head.

"Wait a minute! Sure, we were teasing you guys and snickering around. But hey, we never thought you two would get into bed with each other! Now that's a different caliber than a kiss."

"Yes, but, we're not talking about a kiss here, but a proper French kiss, my dear Chris!"

"That may be so, Scholle, but still, that doesn't justify you having sex with Paul. Real sex, gay sex. Man, I just hope you used a condom. Did you?" Schneider got even more into it and was still pretty pissed at his two friends.

Richard waved it off labidly. "Yeah, we did, get over it!"
Then he continued to wave it off "But I don't think it meant anything to Paul, guaranteed. He's more relaxed about it anyway. Unfortunately, it hit me like a bomb. And I don't know how it's all supposed to go on!"

Stealthily, Richard wiped a tear from his eye, sniffled and suddenly looked so sad that Schneider felt incredibly sorry for him again. He moved further in Richard's direction on the narrow bench around the table and put an arm around him.

"Oh Richard, I always thought that someday we'd grow up and get all staid and stuff...but apparently I was wrong about that." He was talking softly now, his anger suddenly gone.

Richard looked at him, nodded and could start crying again. What a shitty situation!

*

But neither of them had noticed that Paul had also come into the small café, together with Till, and that these two were now standing behind a pillar and had involuntarily overheard the conversation.
Till looked at Paul as if he wanted to eat him up right away. Please what had those two done there, they had slept together? His two guitarists had had sex? This was all beyond belief! Till gasped loudly in and out. Then he grabbed the shorter one and, unseen, pulled him back out of the café and around the corner where they were out of earshot.

"Tell me, do you still have them all? YOU had sex with Richard? Paul, what's all this about?" Till was visibly confused and so not at all okay with all of this, understandably so. He was furious, because he couldn't make any sense of it at all.

Paul swallowed audibly and wanted to tear himself away from Till, but he wouldn't let go. He was angry and really angry. Hissing softly, he pulled him back with him toward the hotel. When they arrived at the hotel, Till dragged him to the back of the lobby and then he got loud, very loud. And he didn't care if anyone else could hear.

"What's wrong with you guys? Have you guys gone completely insane?" the singer echoed. "None of this is true! How can you be so stupid, my face?"

Paul was stunned and, by his standards, quite meek. The singer had stood up in front of him and Paul felt like he was in school being reprimanded in front of everyone.

"Man Till, I don't know either. It just happened. Ick couldn't help it, I had to know what was going on between Scholle and me, you know?", Paul started, but Till cut him off.

"Why, for heaven's sake, did you have to know what was going on between you and Scholle? How do you come up with something like that? Not your stage smooching, are you? You've been doing it for so long, it's just for the show. That has nothing, but also nothing to do with reality. That should have become clear to you by now!"

"Well, I just wanted to get one over on Olli and Schneider, because they always laughed so much. And the last time the kiss was just a little longer, and we wanted to make a statement. So I just sat on Scholle's lap and kissed him properly. With tongue and all. Well, that's when it happened that Scholle got hard. And then he did it to me again, and we both got more than hot," Paul tried to defend himself.

"Boy, I don't believe all that... And what happened next?" Till was beside himself. All that was left was for him to stamp his foot.

„We tried to talk it out, but it was all to no avail. Then the next morning I went to his room, half naked, and yes, I sort of seduced him. And then it happened. First I gave him a blowjob, which totally turned us both on and then I definitely wanted more. I wanted to feel him inside me."

"Feel? More? Blown? You? Man, Paulchen, please where do you know such a thing? How do you know what to do with a man in bed? I'm really flabbergasted and speechless." Till shook his head. "Well, it's common knowledge that I'm a weirdo, and that I don't mess around. But with a guy? So really, nah...even I wouldn't think of that."

"Yes, I wanted more, much more. And that with the blowjob, well I can do that, I've made out with a few guys in the past and tried it out, so on Hiddensee and Rügen, also once with a guy in Berlin."

"Aha. That's getting better and better. So moving on now, what happened then?" Till nervously ran his hand over his face.

Paul felt like he was being interrogated. "Richard seemed to like the way I spoiled him. And when we couldn't go back, then ... yes, then he gave me his cock ... by all the rules of the art, well, you know. I felt so good with him inside me, you wouldn't believe it. With him it was just beautiful and so different from then. We are so familiar with each other, it was like coming home after a long journey. And after the experiences in my youth, I wasn't afraid that it would be shit. I trusted him one hundred percent and he trusted me too!"

Till just shook his head. It was all too much. They were in the middle of a tour stress and his two flash peeps on the guitars had nothing better to do than fuck each other, regardless of the fact that they both had a new girlfriend.

And definitely not gay... until recently he had had to listen to the whining about Arielle and Richard's solo run with the two chicks on Hamburg's Kiez. And now the counter program? Who, please, did the two of them want to prove something to? And all that only because the colleagues made jokes at their expense from time to time? That was no reason to suddenly pull a gay act.

What had gotten into them? It wasn't normal. But why was he upset? Nothing was normal in this band for a long time. It wouldn't surprise him if Schneider had something to do with it too.... Or Flake, Olli???

"I hope you've been with..."

"Yes, Daddy, we did." Paul pulled his eyes up in annoyance.

"And now?"

"Well, we both realized that was nice. Way too nice, if you ask me."

"Oha! You've both established that, good for you. But what's the next step?" Till was really tense to the breaking point.

"For my part, I've kind of tried to tick that off, but I think there's a lot more to Scholle."

Yes, Paul really believed that. The way he looked at him when he said goodbye, there was much, much more than just the sleazy sex itself. There was a longing in his beautiful gray eyes that spoke volumes more than any words spoken. He pondered. Richard was impossibly beautiful, loving, sometimes a diva, but he was his best friend. Was it possible to have friends with certain merits? And within their tightly knit collective? But Till brutally brought him back to the present by slapping him on the arm... Ouch!

"Not for you?"

Paul looked at Till, puzzled. Yes, what was actually wrong with him? He didn't know.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about that yet."

"My dear Paul, you should! How are you going to explain that to your Jenny? You can't just tick something like that off, you can't. You two shared something that can't be forgotten, especially since you said it was nice."

Till didn't even want to imagine how Jenny would react to this situation. And Sylvie too, what would she say to that? After all, Richard had already cheated on her once, admittedly with two broads from the neighborhood in Hamburg, but still. And she had given him the last chance. Did this chance also include Richard's cheating with a man? And then with his colleague and best friend - Paul?

But on the other hand, none of them could know or suspect that this time it was not some random woman who would turn Richard on, but his long-time colleague and friend. This was simply unbelievable, and even Till didn't know what to make of it now.

His thoughts were going around in circles. First all this shit with Paul's ex-wife and the drug story, Richard's cheating and then Schneider's wife ran away. But all that was nothing compared to this.

That he didn't go crazy with all this crap was really a miracle. He was so glad that he could let all this brain shit out on stage, where everyone thought he was absolutely bonkers anyway. He definitely preferred that to being constantly pestered with stuff like that in private. He was getting fed up!
He was so glad when he was finally allowed to go back to his little house in Mecklenburg. There was peace, there he could think, read, write poems and texts, fish, hunt or just hang out. And no one bothered him, except maybe his daughter, but that was perfectly fine.

THIS - that knocked the bottom out of even the last barrel! The boys had to clarify this, however, but this could not stand!

And there also no Mr Mueller helped more what. He was good for all the things with Arielle and Ulrike, but this, this had to be cleared up by the two of them - and pronto!

Paul now sat like a heap of misery in front of Till after he had let off his tirades.

And now, of all times, Richard and Schneider stomped back into the hotel. Startled, Till looked at his wristwatch - shit, they had to leave in half an hour. Hopefully his boys were so professionally bright that they could play the concert. It would be unthinkable if something like that would disturb the course of the concert. None of the fans deserved that. They had all spent a lot of money to see them.

Chapter Text

For the most part, the concert went normally - at least for any outsider. As "Ausländer" slowly wound down and Richard and Paul walked toward each other to kiss, Till was so tense that he felt really sick. He had positioned himself behind the two this time, right in sight, and Schneider was peering over his head.

But both of them were watching very closely what the two were doing. Only Flake and Olli didn't know about this whole thing yet.

Flake continued to run over his treadmill like a berserker and grinned to himself - I wonder what he thought sometimes? And Olli stood stoically by his bass, had his top off, also like always, and was trying to stifle his laughter. He wanted to appear super cool, which he managed to do reasonably well today.

When the last guitar riffs were played, Paul took Richard's face in both hands and kissed him, this time for a long time and ... shit, he actually stuck his tongue down his throat in front of the assembled team and fans. Richard opened his eyes in shock ... and returned the kiss! Hours passed and the audience went wild. Then Paul once again tenderly licked Richard's lips, lovingly stroked his cheek, and Richard grinned to the masses, as he always did. Then the two parted again and the concert continued as if nothing had happened.

Till's heart almost stopped, but he couldn't let on, after all, he was the frontman most people looked up to. He started the next song, and so they played a very strange concert to the end, where four knew about things that nobody could imagine in reality and two were clueless. Still, but they had to confess it to them as well. As already said - a collective, made of flesh and blood - without ifs and buts!

*

"Can you please pass me the bottle..." a drunken Schneider mumbled in the direction of Till, who was circling the obligatory tequila in the round. Till looked at Schneider and really felt like a father who had to take care of his adolescent children who were drunk for the first time. "Nah, Schneider, you're not getting any more, you're already drunk as a skunk!" determined Till. Schneider drew a pout, but sat down again dutifully on the couch that was in the backstage, staring gloomily ahead.

Richard and Olli were talking about some riffs that Richard supposedly didn't like. Flake was busy with his cell phone and lounged in the other corner of the couch. Till was standing a bit indecisive in the middle of the room with the bottle of tequila.

But where was Paul?

Till put the bottle down and went to look for Paul. But he didn't find him, at least not right away. He walked through the long corridors of the stadium in Prague towards the exit, followed by Danny as usual.

And then he found Paul.

He was sitting huddled next to the entrance, but still behind the barrier walls, so that no one passing by from the outside could see him. He had his head down on his knees and his arms wrapped around them. He was crying softly to himself and really looked like a mess. There was nothing of the beaming man he usually gave. Next to him were tons of cigarette butts, hopefully not all of them were his.

Till gave Danny a wave and he disappeared silently. Then he sat down next to Paul on the floor, which was quite cold, no wonder, October, as I said. He took off his jacket and put it around Paul's shivering shoulders. The little guy was actually out here in just a T-shirt. He was going to catch his death. Paul looked up gratefully and wiped the tears from his face.

Till's heart became as soft as butter at the sight. Slowly, he pulled him close. "Gosh, Paule, what's wrong?" He cradled him a little and Paul snuggled into his arms. Then he pulled up the tears and for the first time really lifted his face.

"You told me to think about all this, didn't you? I did. Ick don't know how to describe it when I see Richard, because bumps in my heart and I'm good to go all at once," Paul explained himself.
Till nodded. "That's great, Paul. But you're in a good mood even without Richard. Have you really listened to yourself? Is there something more? I mean, if it bumps in your heart?"

"That's why I kissed Richard with tongue on stage, so I know if the bumping is just excitement about everything or more."

Till still looked at him questioningly. "So, is it more?"

"I don't know, Till, honestly I don't. Now I'm just as clueless as I was before. Till, I don't know what to do! That last kiss on stage felt so right, I can't even describe it. You know, Richard makes me feel safe, even though he's burned a lot in the past."
He sniffled and rummaged in his pants for a pack of cigarettes. He held the pack out to Till, who took one and the two smoked in silence.

"Kid, I don't know what to advise you and Richard there either. It's all so absurd and so messed up. I mean, if you two were single and there was no Jenny and no Sylvie, I wouldn't give a shit as long as it didn't get out on the town and the band suffered. But like this? I mean, those two are so loving and you both were so lucky to meet those two classy women. Especially with you, I thought, how nice, there he can deal with this whole shitty thing with Arielle to some extent. And you are such a loyal soul. Even with Richard, I was sure this Sylvie could keep him away from his ever-recurring demons."
He cleared his throat.
"But nope, you guys had to be in the box together. And sure, you can't turn off feelings, but it's not going to be easy. I wouldn't want to be in your and Richard's shoes if you had to explain it to the girls. And you'll have to, the sooner the better." Till peered at the smoke he was releasing through his nose.

"Man, I want to be with my Jenny, too. No question about it. But how can we do that? I can't take her aside and tell her that I slept with Kruspe. That was only once, but everything else is fine. She won't understand. How could she? The girl has seen the whole fucking shit with Arielle and how I suffered. We were so happy, I really thought it could be forever. And now? Now I'm doing it with Scholle, my best friend and colleague, who I've known almost all my life? That would be exactly the same if I suddenly had a crush on Flake. This is really unbelievable. Nobody can understand that. I don't understand it myself."

"Hmm, that's hard to understand too. Especially after all the years you've known each other. So no offense to Flake, but Richard is a sight for sore eyes, isn't he? No wonder you've fallen for him. It's just that the timing is so bad, my dear. What does Richard say about it? Have you talked to him again?", Till asked as a precaution.

"No, we haven't had time yet." Paul sank down a bit again.

"Look, you guys HAVE to sit down and talk this out, and do it in a way that suits all sides. And by that I mean both of you, all of us, and of course the girls. You can't sit this out now until they arrive. You have to work this out NOW!"

Paul nodded, but again tears came to his eyes.

"My goodness, and this me. I never thought with the action with Frau Schneider and Olli that something like this would come out. And also not that I feel so comfortable in Scholle's presence. I don't know if that's love. It's all so bittersweet and the sex was just dreamlike. And what can I say, Richard's body and what he does with it is insane."

Paul really went into raptures. Till grinned to himself. He could understand the kid, Richard was just an incredibly good-looking man. And sure, reason wasn't always everything. But it couldn't go on like that. This was nothing half and nothing whole.

Suddenly Paul stood up and pulled Till with him. "So, enough crying. We'll settle this now, in front of the whole team. Okay?" Till was startled, Olli and Flake didn't know anything about it yet. They had to let them in on it first, and that's what he told Paul.

"Yes, that's clear. I'll handle it." With that, the two of them walked back through the long corridors towards the backstage.

*

Paul walked quickly in front of Till. He straightened up and pushed open the door to the backstage room. Not much had changed in there, except that Olli and Richard were now also sitting on the couch, still discussing riffs.

Till closed the door behind them both and Paul stood in the middle of the room.

"Hmhm...", he cleared his throat loudly. "I want to tell you something. Richard will you come here, please?"

Richard looked up, was a bit startled at first, then grinned slyly and actually stood up to stand at Paul's side. Till, meanwhile, had also planted himself on the couch.

Paul pulled him close, embraced his face - much as he had on stage, except this time there were no guitars hanging between them - and then kissed him with such tenderness that Richard felt quite different. He gasped, and then he let himself go for it. Gently, he put his arms around Paul and pulled him even closer. He pushed his tongue through the slightly opened soft lips of the rhythm guitarist and stroked his short hair with one hand.

EVERYONE - everyone, without exception - watched them with wide eyes!

"Um, no... or? You've got to be kidding me! Is that what I think it is?"
Flake was the first to find his voice again.

Olli looked at the two as if they were aliens. "Okay." That was all he could manage.

When the two moved away from each other again after what felt like ages, both were red in the face and out of breath.

But Paul apparently just went about business as usual.

"So, what I... what we wanted to tell you..." Then he broke off because tears were already welling up in his eyes again, this time from sheer happiness.

Richard lightly stroked his arm. "So, what we wanted to tell you...", he also started, but he also couldn't bring this one sentence past his lips.

"These two lovebirds here have been fucking each other!"

That was Till, who couldn't stand all this anymore, this bumbling around. Impossible. Since when had they been so smart-mouthed?

"You what?" Flake had gotten up excitedly, tossed his cell phone back on the couch, and grabbed Paul by both arms. "Say, what's wrong with you guys?"

He knew the two of them liked each other incredibly, but this, nah, this was too much even for him. Flake had noticed quite a bit in the past, especially on Hiddensee. From time to time, Paul had dragged a male with him into their LO when he had drunk too much and when Alyosha was otherwise occupied, and with this man he had done things that Flake didn't really want to know. The background noise had been enough for him and he had then left immediately.

But that Paul was only into men, was not so. After all, he had fathered two children naturally. And until recently he was still together with Arielle. And please what would his Jenny and Richard's new flame say to that?

Maybe he had been bi all these years and Richard too? That could be of course.

Hadn't Richard once told that he had had gay experiences from time to time during his wrestling days?

Flake was agitated, and whenever he was agitated, he started to stutter and then preferred to disappear somewhere in nature.

But nature wasn't there right now. So they all just had to go through it now. He took a deep breath to calm himself down to some extent.
The two guitarists together? That was so unbelievable, Flake was really shocked. So, that they constantly exchanged little endearments over the years on stage and also privately, that wasn't news. But Flake had always dismissed it as a close friendship. They just loved each other, in a platonic way. But that the two really got into the box together, he would never have thought.

On the other hand, he was also happy for them. In any case, he wanted BOTH of them to be happy. And if they were together, then it could not be wrong in any case.

But he dreaded when the two told this story to their girlfriends. He thought Jenny and also Sylvie were totally nice, they were also a good match for the two men. It was a horror. Just like Till, he didn't want to be in their skin.

The tour would be over in a couple of weeks and the girls should arrive for the last concerts in France. Flake kept thinking about it, but came to no conclusion.

But now Schneider intervened. But since he was too drunk for a proper and straightforward conversation, Olli took over the talking part in his place. As always, he was very calm about it and from his mouth the whole thing sounded only half as wild.

Schneider sank back into himself, then put his long legs over the back of the couch and almost fell asleep on the spot. Flake shook his head in amusement. But the good tailor couldn't take any more. He himself had been out of it for years anyway. When he had the obligatory tequila, he always got just a little juice to toast with; his alcoholic past had not been without its consequences, and just one drop was enough to make him dependent again. That had been a really shitty time back then, he had been drinking since his earliest youth. But Jenny had put him back on the right track. He thought wistfully of his wife. He missed her - he couldn't deny it, the tours were great, no question, but they wore on his nerves more and more and more often he wished he could go home.

"Well, I see the whole thing rather pragmatically. Sure, it's not a piece of cake, but if you really love each other, then at least from my side, nothing speaks against it. The only problem is your girlfriends. How should this go on? The girls will get the shock of their lives!" Olli had stood up and was now walking slowly back and forth in the room.

Paul looked nervously at his hands and Richard had put his face on Paul's shoulder and kept his eyes closed. But Olli continued to speak.

"Do you love each other?" Simple question, complicated answer.

Richard now took his face off Paul's shoulder again, tightened up and started very slowly. "I can only speak for myself right now, and I'm afraid I really don't know."
With that, he grasped Paul's waist and sat down on the couch with him. As he did so, he loosened his embrace and tenderly stroked Paul's left thigh in return. Paul looked directly at him, and there was so much warmth in his eyes that Richard had to swallow audibly.

Was it love? Could he have both - Paul and Sylvie? Richard was ruminating again, but he was interrupted by Paul.

"Yes, I know, I love you in my own way. The sex with you was wonderful, but I can't go on like this. I have to tell my little girl that, no matter what. And not just when they arrive. I think we should have a conversation today on the phone with both of them together. Reesh, we have to let the girls in on this, there's no other way."
At this, Paul batted his eyes with his long eyelashes and a small tear stole out of one of them.

Richard now looked a bit shocked. The others thankfully held back and let the two of them finish. He gently brushed the tear from his face. "You're going to let them both in on the phone? That's really intense. I can't imagine that's a good idea." Richard rummaged in his shirt and unearthed a cigarette pack from his small breast pocket. "Sorry, but I need a smoke now," he said apologetically to the others and lit one.

Paul shrugged his shoulders. "What else are we going to do?" He looked so sad and tired that it was really frightening.
And just at that moment, his cell phone rang. Paul looked briefly at the display - Jenny! Great, that was all he needed. The timing was more than crappy. He pushed her away and found the whole thing totally crap. But unfortunately there was no other way at the moment.

Then Till intervened again. "Why didn't you answer the phone? Maybe shock therapy is the best thing right now?" He rubbed his face tensely.

Richard and Paul both shook their heads at the same time.

"Okay, have it your way, but time is a little short. So please, what should happen next?" That was Olli again.

Richard's phone rang next - Sylvie. Had the two of them made an agreement or were they sitting together and thought, let's call our friends, after all they knew when the concert was over? But Richard also pushed Sylvie away.

What a huge bummer. He had hoped in the back of his heart that the whole thing was more than just sex for Paul. But he had been wrong about that. It made him a little sad, and he didn't really feel like discussing it any more in the big group.

"All right, well, I don't think it's going to happen today! Can we postpone it until tomorrow? I'm really tired!" he said. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and stood up.

"Wait a minute! You can't just leave now." That was Till again, but Olli put his hand on his arm placatingly. "Let it go for today, Till. This is just going around in circles."

Till nodded in surrender. "All right, but tomorrow we'll talk this out for good. This concerns all of us, as you know, so please sleep on it and tomorrow we'll see."

With that, he too stood up and pulled Olli out of the room with him. Flake rose as well and tried to pull Schneider up, but he was out of it and smacked loudly in his sleep.

"This can't be true. Man ey, Schneider, what a whistle!" echoed Flake.

But now Richard and Paul joined in and together they supported the drunken drummer, who was hanging on to them like a wet sack with half-closed eyes. Flake held the door open for them with one hand and then they got into the cab back to the hotel.

Chapter Text

It was quiet, very quiet. Wafting silence, so to speak. Paul was sitting all alone on a footbridge that led into the water. He looked out over a lake and thought. About himself and Richard. They had finally arrived in Bratislava and the weather was very nice for the end of October, even reasonably warm, so that one could still feel the last foothills of summer. Isolated seagulls circled above the water surface.

Paul watched them sadly and thought of Hiddensee. Of course. And also once again of Arielle - the thoughts of her had become less and less lately, but of course one cannot completely forget a relationship lasting over 20 years. Especially since it was always beautiful and worked well. At that time he had been very happy, he had arrived and thought that this would always continue. Well, he thought wrong. Especially that she of all people would draw the line, he would not have expected. Well, there were drugs involved - he shuddered just thinking about it. Would she still be with him if that wasn't the case? He didn't know.

In any case, an incredible amount had happened since then, and in a relatively short time. He had met and fallen in love with Jenny, this incredible woman. It had been so beautiful with her, especially in Heiligenhafen. And now she would travel to France in less than three weeks, together with Sylvie, the new flame of... there they were again, the thoughts of Richard. Richard, his best friend. And now everything was so damn different. He had fallen in love. With Richard, of all people. But he knew he loved Jenny, too. How was one supposed to handle loving two such different people at the same time? And much worse, apparently Richard was no different....

They had an off-day today and the first concert of two tomorrow. For the moment, all the organizational stuff was taken care of, as far as his part was concerned.

He continued to think. Finally, he had time to take a catchy look at the whole messed up box. Of course, he and Richard had not found a solution to their common "problem". Yesterday he had talked to Jenny on the phone for a long time. But on the phone he just hadn't managed to tell her the truth. She was looking forward to seeing him, in a little over two weeks she would arrive, together with Sylvie. Markus had also already been informed that he should pick up the girls from home and bring them to Fuhlsbüttel Airport.

He listened to himself. Sure, he was looking forward to seeing his little girl, but Richard and what they had together hung over them like a sword of Damocles. He had insisted they not stay next door to each other at the hotel. He didn't want to be tempted, because he didn't trust himself. Richard himself had been rather absent all the time, not a sound about the sex, about what they had shared, how beautiful it was, whether he felt the same way he did. Nothing. On the one hand this made Paul very sad, on the other hand he hoped that the whole thing would blow over, which would be better for all involved.

He heard soft footsteps behind him and knew exactly who was arriving. Richard! Suddenly his heart beat a few beats faster and his face turned red. Oh man.

"Hey, there you are, missed you already." He sat down next to Paul on the dock, just naturally, like he always did. He snuggled up to him and gave him a little kiss on the neck. Oh God, what was he doing to him again? It wasn't easy to avoid him. How could it? They were friends and colleagues. And now on tour together all the time, of course.

Gently, Richard's hand stroked his back and shivers ran down Paul's very back. "We need to talk about this, Paulchen. Very urgently. I spoke to Sylvie on the phone yesterday, she's already looking forward to the trip to us. Markus has probably already contacted them about the time and so on," Richard began.

Paul lowered his head. Oh yes, they HAD to talk. But he still didn't know how the whole thing was going to work. Richard was a bit nervous, you could always tell when he didn't know where to put his hands. Right now he was tearing off blades of grass and throwing them into the lake.

"I've been listening to myself for a long time, Scholle. And I've come to the conclusion that there's no future for us." He had forced this sentence out of himself. He felt quite differently. He wanted both. Yes, exactly, both. He wanted his Jenny and he also wanted Richard. It was like milking mice. Both were NOT possible, of course, he knew that. But how should they get out of this dilemma?

Richard looked at him disturbed. But at least he had stopped plucking out blades of grass. Now he was stroking Paul's back again. And he had moved up to him. Paul felt it quite clearly, Richard also wanted more, much more.

His voice was now just a hotter murmur. "Oh Paul, I know that too. But I don't want to lose you. Never again!" Sadly, Richard looked at him from those incredible eyes.

"I don't want to lose you either, Reesh. But how is that supposed to work? We're both in the public eye, we both have great women at our sides. Do you really want all that to go down the drain? Like Till said, we're lucky they're both great and want us. Man, they're both coming to France in a little over two weeks. How are we supposed to perform there? We can't hide that. And it wouldn't be fair either. Not for any of us." Paul thought about it and nodded affirmatively.

"Okay. Then tell me here and now, to my face, what YOU really want. No matter what the consequences!" He stroked Paul's cheek tenderly, getting closer and closer to his face. Man, Kruspe really had it down, the seducer act. Paul got hot and cold at the same time.

He swallowed hard, looked into Richard's beautiful gray eyes - and surrendered! He wanted him, here and now. Oh, shit everything!

Richard overcame the small distance between their faces and kissed Paul. Very tenderly and so lovingly that the tingling in Paul's belly grew more and more. He squirmed under Richard's hands, but the latter held him ironclad. "What do you want, little Paul? Tell me here and now! Please!"

"I want you! You know I do. This is all so convoluted, I can't figure it out." He was so excited in Richard's presence, this man was killing him. He didn't even do anything, he just kissed him. And he kissed so well, it was addictive. With these kisses it was like sex - a mixture between tenderness and a slightly more rough approach. After all, he had already found out once that he wanted to kiss Richard all the time, all the time. Even in public. He didn't give a shit what others thought about it. But he wasn't allowed to! Son of a bitch!

Richard smirked. Yeah right, that was what he wanted too. And now? He straightened up, stroked Paul's face gently once more. "Let's call the girls, now! Otherwise we'll go around in circles forever and it'll get worse and worse!"

Paul nodded sadly and Richard pulled out his cell phone. He let it ring for a long time, but Sylvie didn't answer. She probably had some kind of meeting or something.

Paul now tried Jenny, but she didn't answer either. Hm, that was strange. Maybe she had worked the night shift and was sleeping. He didn't want to ring Kalle, because that was too private. And he didn't want to give the impression that he was sniffing around her. Then they would have to postpone the whole thing, once again. Paul sat up and fumbled in his pants pocket for cigarettes. He found them and offered one to Richard. They both smoked in silence now, looking wistfully across the lake.

"Paul?" tried Richard.

"Hmm, what?" Paul looked at him startled, knowing exactly what Richard was about to say.

"I want to make love to you. Now!" Richard knew what he wanted and Paul knew it too.

"What here?" Paul's eyes snapped open.

"Why not? There's no one here." Richard grinned slyly.

"What if someone comes? What's wrong then? Besides, it's way too cold in here." Paul was unsure and didn't know how else to react.

But all he wanted to do was feel that incredible body one more time, caress Richard's broad chest, drive him crazy with kisses, and yes, feel him inside him, too. Richard was not a bottom guy, he was top, that had been clear to Paul from the beginning, and he had no problem with that. He just wanted to feel so arrived and comfortable one more time! Just one more time! This was exactly the thought he had had with Jenny. And now? He had these thoughts with both of them. How would this go on? Was it doomed to fail with Richard from the start? Did he do the right thing? He tried to stay strong, but he too was only a human being with feelings. And these feelings were so strong that he felt completely blindsided.

What if he could never get away from them? Then he could totally forget everything he had already built up with Jenny. Except for Sylvie, who apparently loved Richard, otherwise she would never have forgiven him for the little fling on the Hamburg Kiez.

"No problem. Look, I've thought of everything!" Richard stood up and pulled out a large duffel bag from behind the nearest bush. Next to it was a picnic basket. He awkwardly opened the duffel bag and out came two sleeping bags and a small tent.

"How now? You dragged all that with you? Because I'm not surprised you always have so much luggage. Camping? Here? All night? And what about the hotel room?" Paul was shocked and also surprised that Richard had really made provisions for contingencies.

"Gee, Paul, you're being silly. You're not usually like this. How often have you camped on Rügen or Hiddensee, please? You can't tell me you can't do that with setting up the tent with pegs and all that stuff." Richard smiled sweetly at him.

"Yes, that's true. But... but..." That's as far as he got, because Richard had joined him again and now put the index finger of his right hand to his lips.

"Shhh, don't worry too much, Paulchen! Let's just enjoy it! Let's enjoy ourselves! No rush, no time pressure, just us!" With that, he pressed a peck on his cheek and stood back up. Paul did the same and together they set up the small tent.

"What all did you bring? And from where?" Paul was amazed, in the picnic basket was everything the heart desired. Even a bottle of champagne had been organized by good Richard.

Richard grinned. "I charmed a woman from the hotel kitchen a bit and she packed me the leftovers." He grinned proudly to himself.

"You again. You might have ideas. But well, maybe you're right. I'm sure no one will miss us on the off-day. And if they do, they can call us, can't they?"

*

At the same time in the hotel in Bratislava:

"Say, where have those two cucumbers gone again? I hope they're not screwing again?" Till bit his lip as the waiter came by in the lobby and served them their drinks. Flake just looked at him and shook his head. What a bunch, but for real.

"Well, I haven't seen Paul. All I know is that Richard was dragging a giant duffel bag through the hotel toward the underground parking garage earlier. I don't know what he was doing with it." Schneider shrugged his shoulders and devoted himself to a jet-black espresso; he was dead tired and pretty annoyed by the whole thing between Richard and Paul. And still couldn't really understand it. The two of them together? Unbelievable.

"Okay, you don't have to understand it either, do you? And what car was he driving? Above all, he doesn't know his way around here at all! Very funny!" Olli was calm as usual, but it was all very strange.

Till was still annoyed by the two. Actually, this whole number should have been discussed out, but no, the gentlemen had then withdrawn and did not want to talk to them about it anymore. He looked a little sadly into his whiskey. Oh yes, he had really needed it now. Flake sat across from him, brooding. What Paul's oldest friend was going through at the moment, of course, also left its mark on him.

Suddenly Till's phone rang and when he looked at the name, he froze inside. Jenny, Paul's Jenny. What did she want from him now? He answered it and held his breath for a moment.

"Hello Till, glad to reach you at least. Tell me, can you tell me why Paul had tried to reach me and now doesn't answer the phone anymore?" she began bubbly. Till was at a loss, he hadn't known that at least Paul had already tried to reach her. But he also didn't know where he was now. And once again everything stuck to him.

"Hey, Jenny, good to hear from you. I don't know, we're off today and maybe he's in town shopping. I'm afraid I don't know," he answered her. At that, he looked around the room and everyone shut up, thankfully.

"Okay. Sylvie also tried to reach Richard. I guess he'd called her place, too." Till nodded at that, until he remembered that Jenny couldn't see that at all.

"Hmm, like I said, I really don't know. Do you want me to take a message in case I get hold of him today, or Richard too?", Till asked as a precaution.

"Yeah, actually I was going to tell him myself." She paused for effect. "Hold on, Sylvie and I could get away from our jobs earlier and then we wouldn't be coming to France in two weeks, but a week earlier. We would just need to know where you guys are exactly then. We have the tour plan, but we wanted to make sure, not that something goes wrong.

Jenny was happily excited and just kept on chattering. Of course, Till and everyone else's alarm bells went off.

He cleared his throat. "Um, that means you'll be arriving as early as next week then?" He slumped a bit.

"Yes, next Saturday," came the prompt reply. Till, of course, didn't have the whole schedule in his head, Paul was more responsible for that. And now, of all times, he was out of his mind. What a shit.

But he pulled himself together, not that Jenny noticed anything else. The two of them had to sort this out all by themselves.

"Markus will take us to the airport. If you tell me where you are then, you can get the flights booked for us." She still sounded so excited. "Oh, we're really looking forward to seeing you all," she continued to gush.

Till nodded again, looking at Flake, who sat there with his eyes wide open, shaking his head slightly.

"Jenny, I don't know the tour schedule off the top of my head, sorry. What do you say I get back to you as soon as I've looked at the schedule?"

She laughed softly over the phone. "Well, sure, but it would still be nice if we could both get our friends on the phone sometime." A quiet reproach. No wonder.

Till said goodbye to Paul's girlfriend a little too hastily, then pressed the little red receiver.

"Great, now we've got the shit really hitting the fan! If I get my hands on those two, I'll wring their necks myself - very slowly and with relish!" Till was at more than a hundred and eighty.

Flake got up and sat down beside him. "Very slowly, Till, we have to keep calm! Paul and Richard have to work this out for themselves. The only thing we can do, tell them that the girls can arrive earlier and where to come then. Everything else is none of our business anymore." Unfortunately, the keyboardist was right about that.

"But where the heck are they? Unbelievable. This is even worse than kindergarten," Till grumbled. "Does anyone have the tour schedule saved somewhere?"

The question now went to all of them, but Schneider was also always well prepared. He nodded. "Hold on, got it." He tapped away on his cell phone. "There. So on Saturday we're in Madrid for two concerts, then on Monday we're heading to Italy, and after that, yes, it's already France."

"Well, let the girls go to Spain then." Till tapped the callback button on his phone so that he was immediately connected to Jenny again.

"Wow, that was fast," she said happily.

The two of them sorted out the travel arrangements and Jenny asked Paul to call her back. Till promised her to take care of it.

"What a fucked up shit!" He ordered another whiskey from the hotel staff and Schneider and Olli joined him.

Chapter Text

Richard and Paul both sat in the tent and ate their way through the picnic basket they had brought with them. It had started to rain lightly and Paul pulled up his shoulders shivering. Lovingly, Richard put a blanket around his shoulders and snuggled up to him, chewing. He didn't want to lose Paul, he wouldn't give him up for anything in the world. He tenderly kissed his hairline and sighed softly.

Paul turned a little towards him and smirked. Richard was like a tiger. On one side dangerous and predatory, on the other tame like a playful house cat. This mixture made Paul fuzzy. He would never have thought that he could lose himself like this in a human being. And that this person, of all people, was a man and his best friend for decades and actually hung out in front of his nose almost all the time, simply this fact was unbelievable. And yes, he had to admit it to himself, incredibly beautiful.

He sucked in Richard's scent, this scent of warmth, of closeness, of lust, of man, and of course of Richard. He loved this Richard-esque scent. He was so familiar, so private, so engaging. Paul's heart tripped, he was excited, and he shivered slightly as he gently ran his hand over Richard's skin.

"Reesh...," Paul whispered softly, as if anyone could hear them. No one was around, they were all alone. Even the birds had largely ceased their whistling concert. It smelled a bit like musty ground after the light rain and the sun had once again sent its last rays through the trees. Everything seemed somehow enchanted and one heard only the light chirping of the last crickets.

Richard lay back in the tent and pulled Paul with him, so that he now lay half on top of him. Paul had both hands around Richard's face and was looking at it closely. He was so incredibly beautiful, and Paul still couldn't understand that this man seemed to love him. He ran his hand over the small nose, as if he could somehow find something new there. His index finger tentatively continued to feel its way over Richard's soft lips. Richard snapped playfully and they both began to snort.

Then Richard pulled Paul all over himself and realized that this left him anything but cold. Yes, he finally admitted it. He loved him like he had never loved anyone before. Paul was just home, was family, he felt comfortable and arrived. And he almost crawled into him, because Paul had a scent of his own that you could get addicted to. He smelled like fresh waffles and cinnamon.

Richard grinned, it was stupid, but he couldn't describe it any other way. For his part, he looked at Paul's still handsome face, even if a few wrinkles had been added over the years. His dark blue eyes, with laugh lines around them, veiled with lust. The high forehead with the small freckles on it. He lightly stroked the small scar above his right eye, which was only noticeable when you were very close to it.

But he recognized something else. The sadness over the failure of his marriage and the fear had completely left Paul's eyes. They were clear, and just now a small tear stole from the corner of his left eye. Richard raised his hand and wiped it away. "Shhhh, Paulchen, you don't have to cry." he murmured softly in his ear with the silver ring. Paul put his head on Richard's shoulder and couldn't help it. The situation was just so beautiful that he couldn't hold back his tears because of his happiness. He sobbed and his tears ran freely down Richard's T-shirt.

So they both just lay there for a while, caressing each other, until Richard realized that the smaller one had apparently fallen asleep. He pulled one of the blankets he had brought over them both and Paul even closer to him. He looked at him again. He looked so peaceful. On his cheeks you could still see the dried trace of his tears. He couldn't help it and gently kissed them away.

Paul woke up again. Confused, he looked around, looked directly at Richard and his left hand strayed to Richard's chest and caressed it. Then he looked searchingly into Richard's eyes. And in his eyes Richard now saw that Paul wanted him. He leaned down and kissed him tenderly. Paul returned his kiss and pulled Richard back on top of him. They had both stripped down to their boxers and now Paul spread his legs and slowly rubbed against him. Richard noticed how it tingled excitedly in his abdomen.

Yes, he wanted him, no matter what would happen afterwards. They made out like teenagers in love and Paul's gasp made Richard ratty. Yes, exactly, that's what Paul would say. He grinned into the kisses and removed the blanket he had wrapped around them both. Only gasps and sighs could be heard in the tent and Richard slowly pulled his t-shirt over Paul's head. Paul did the same to him.

"Stop, stop..." it escaped Richard, who couldn't really stop Paul. But if they continued here at this pace, it would be over sooner than they would have liked.

Paul straightened up a little. He looked a little disappointed. "Reesh... I... want...", he didn't get any further, because Richard had already closed his beautiful mouth with a kiss again.

"I know, Paulchen, I know. But don't be in such a hurry. I think we could use a little break right now." Then he straightened up and scrambled out of the tent. Paul looked disappointedly after him.

The rain had stopped, it was a starry night. He thought it sounded really corny now and grinned to himself. He stood up, realizing the bulge in his pants was in desperate need of relief. "How do you feel about swimming?" he called softly into the tent.

Paul had now crawled out, too. "You know what, we'll do that. It's a little cold, but what the hell." With that, he unabashedly took off his boxers and almost ran into the small lake. Richard was not so quick to follow. Paul now again.

"Dude, that's cold." Richard didn't jump into the cold waters like Paul, but walked on slowly.

"Now don't be like that, Scholle." Paul came swimming towards him and when he had ground under his feet again, he splashed Richard wet.

"Ey, are you crazy?" But he did the same and quickly a water fight had developed and the end of October. They both really had a fix. No one goes swimming in a lake at these temperatures and especially still in a foreign country - except two guitarists completely smitten with each other who behaved like naughty little boys. Richard shook his head with a laugh. No wonder many people thought they were totally stupid.

"Well wait...", Paul just shouted and Richard tried to catch up with him swimming. He soon did and clutched the little one. He stroked Paul's short wet hair back and kissed him lovingly again.

In the process, neither noticed that an ownerless small boat was floating in the lake, against which Richard was now banging his head. "Ouch, what was that?" He turned around and Paul's eyes widened.

"How did that get here?" They circled the boat carefully, but apparently there was no one in it. Paul held onto the boat and Richard pulled himself into the boat by the side. Then he pulled Paul in, too. It must have been floating around for a while, because the little blanket, which must have belonged to someone, was soaked from the rain and not really comfortable. At least there were two paddles in the boat that were still somewhat okay. So the two paddled naked as God created them back to the dock. It was a bit awkward to get out of the boat without an accident, since the wind had picked up again and the waves were crashing against the outer walls. But they had made it and were now both running back towards the tent, giggling.

"Man, man, man. Something like that can only happen to us, though." Richard was shivering all over and rubbed himself warmly with the blanket. Paul did the same. "We should put some clothes on and then get into our sleeping bags, otherwise we'll really catch something here."

But Paul didn't see that at all. Now he was really hooked. "Why then? Where were we again?" he grinned smugly at him and hugged Richard. At the same time the blanket fell down again and Richard's blanket also said goodbye.

"Paulchen, you're driving me crazy, do you know that?" murmured Richard, stroking him over his stiff nipples.

"I know, I feel the same way about you!"

He pulled Richard back onto the camp with him, and this time Richard was on the bottom. And now Paul brought out the seducer.

He slowly kissed his way along Richard's neck, to his collarbone, lightly stroked his chest, then continued to run his trembling hands along his sides. He spread little tender kisses all the way to his belly button. "You are so beautiful. But you know that," Paul sighed. Slowly he stroked Richard's length, which was still soft, kissed his testicles and slowly licked over the glans.

Richard had closed his eyes in pleasure, he really wanted this and he didn't want to think about what was after right now. He had brought this all about on purpose. He stroked Paul's hair and laid his head back. He moaned softly and just enjoyed what Paul was doing to him here.

Paul had closed his fingers around his length and pushed back his foreskin with his teeth. Enjoying, he licked the first drops from the exposed glans and massaged it with his hands over the perineum again and again. Then he suddenly took it all in his mouth and drove Richard crazy with it. Oh my God, this was heaven! Richard's member twitched and he thrust rhythmically against it.

He tried to hold on to something, which didn't really work with Paul's short hair. So he clawed into the blankets on both sides and gave himself completely to his friend. He was so horny for him that he forgot everything - where they were, what was with his girlfriend, what was with the band - only one thing mattered: Paul and his divine lips, which catapulted him into ever higher spheres.

"Oh.....oooooh....Paul...." Richard came violently in Paul's mouth and he swallowed it all. His orgasm rolled over him and Richard reared back. Very slowly the waves ebbed away and when he had calmed down to some extent, he sank exhausted onto the blankets and Paul with him. Hot tears streamed from his eyes and he tried to catch his breath. But he also wanted the little one to get something out of it. He stroked his shoulders and spread little kisses on his beautiful face.

Paul opened his eyes and grinned mischievously. Then he rolled off Richard and lay down beside him. "That was.... I don't know. Horny?"

Richard nodded at him. "But now it's my turn to spoil you, Paulchen." And then he knelt between Paul's now spread legs again and now spoiled him very slowly. But when he reached the south, he remembered that he had left the condoms and the lube at the hotel. What a shit. But even without saying anything, Paul understood him.

"No problem..." came only surrendered under him. Paul pulled Richard towards him and on top of him and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Richard's conscience spoke up.

"Paul, you can't. There has to be at least a little preparation. I don't want to hurt you!"

Paul raised his eyes, but Richard would not be persuaded. He tried to get up and looked in the picnic basket. There was some olive oil. He thought, maybe that would work. He fished for the small bottle from the basket and held it up for Paul to see.

"With olive oil? Nah, right?" Richard nodded. "All right, if you say so." Paul grinned.

Richard smeared his fingers and carefully slipped one finger into Paul's tightness. Then he added the second and also the third finger until he felt Paul's inner pleasure point.

"Oohaaaa." Paul squirmed a little under him and gasped loudly.

"Ease up and relax." He widened it further and also smeared some on his now hard hot length. Paul wrapped his legs around his hips and Richard slowly and very tenderly sank into Paul's tight heat.

Paul had his head stretched over and his eyes closed. He was breathing raggedly, but Richard stroked his flat stomach reassuringly, then pushed forward until he was all the way inside him. "Are you okay?" he asked tentatively. All that came from Paul was a nod, licking his lips as he did so. This looked so forbidden good, so Richard slowly moved inside him and Paul came towards him with his pelvis in the same rhythm.

Richard straightened up a bit and fixed his hands on both of Paul's hips. Their rhythm together steadily quickened and Paul had now taken his left hand to massage his hardness. They both moaned and Richard kept sliding almost out of Paul, only to thrust even faster and yes, harder. He too had now put his head back and closed his eyes.

He pulled the smaller one even closer by the hip, so that Paul hung a bit in the air. All that could be heard were gasps, moans and the collision of two bodies. When Richard realized that he was about to come, he pressed on Paul's belly and tried to slow down his rhythm to drag out the climax a bit more. But Paul hissed at him "Harder, please..."

Richard now put both of Paul's legs over his shoulders, just to have another thrusting angle. At the same time he grabbed Paul's tight ass with one hand and kneaded it additionally.

This was just too much - for both of them. They came at the same time and screamed their pleasure together into the night. Paul ejaculated on his belly, still had his head stretched back, and Richard gently and steadily pushed some more into Paul until he slowly withdrew from him again.

He was so exhausted that he just let himself fall and practically buried Paul under him. But as exhausted as they both were, Paul didn't protest either. They lay on top of each other and their hearts and breathing calmed only very leisurely.

Richard pushed himself even closer to Paul and had one leg draped over him. He kissed him on his tattooed neck and nibbled his earlobe. He was so infinitely happy he couldn't put it into words. He had closed his eyes and snuggled up to him. He was home, he was safe, he had found his love. And before his head cinema started to spin again, he squeezed his eyes shut and searched longingly for Paul's lips, which he found without effort.

The latter hummed contentedly. But then Richard noticed that Paul's face was getting wet. Paul was crying. "Heyhey, don't cry." He stroked his cheeks. Paul looked directly at him and there was so much love in his eyes that Richard just couldn't help himself and kissed him directly now, letting his tongue slide gently into the roof of his mouth. They fought a wild tongue battle that neither could win. Out of breath, they let go of each other.

"I love you, I really do, but..." came slowly and a bit harshly from Paul. Richard put his index finger to his lips. He didn't want to hear any buts now, not now, after they had just been so united.

"I love you too, more than I care to." Richard's reply.

Tightly embraced they lay there, and now the tears came to Richard too. And also the head cinema was there again. Richard could not turn it off. How, please, was all this supposed to go on? Especially now, after this wonderful experience - which was more than wanted by both of them.

And both of them, of course, had no desire to wash themselves now. So they remained lying and both pulled blankets over themselves. They both fell asleep relatively quickly from exhaustion.

*

The next morning the weather was a bit friendlier, it was no longer raining and the sun also sent its first rays into the small tent.

Paul was the first to wake up and blinked in confusion. He looked beside him and his heart almost overflowed with love for his best friend. He thought of last night and actually blushed a little.

They had done it again and with full intent. And it had been so beautiful.

Paul listened inside himself to determine if it was just sex. But his gut remained silent. He had fallen in love, he knew that, only he also knew - as he had thought a thousand times before - that he loved his Jenny too, just in a very different (more normal?) way.

Sex with Richard was phenomenal, it was so deliciously forbidden, and what he felt when Richard penetrated him he couldn't put into words. Sleeping with a man... heck, sleeping with THIS man was beyond anything he could have imagined, and only now at 57 did he know that he never wanted to give up those feelings. But he didn't want to give up his sweetheart either!

He rolled over on his back. "Ouch." All at once, Richard was awake. Startled, he jerked his eyes open.

"What's wrong?" he mumbled, still a little sleepy. He looked at the beautiful face next to him and was just happy.

"My butt hurts." Paul grinned. Richard grinned, too.

"No wonder, that was more than hard what we did there last night. And you couldn't have it hard enough. I really didn't think so."

Paul turned even redder than he already was. "Yeah, but with you I can't hold back. I would have loved to have it even harder." He was ashamed of that and narrowed his eyes.

Richard shook his head with a grin. "Paul, you're impossible, but real." He looked down at himself. "But we'd better get on track anyway, or Till in particular will have another crisis. They don't know we both spent the night here. So come on, my sweet Paul, off into the lake and then back to the hotel."

Paul nodded in agreement. They quickly washed in the lake, got dressed and packed up their clothes again. Actually, everything was quite simple if it wasn't so complicated, Richard thought to himself. Judging by Paul's face, he thought similarly....

... but neither of them knew yet that their friends would arrive much earlier than expected ...

Chapter Text

"Please what?" Richard dropped heavily into an armchair in the hotel lobby. He had Till on the phone, trying for the thousandth time to reach one of the two guitarists. Paul stood in front of him, looking at him uncomprehendingly. Richard raised his eyes, nodded, and said "Okay, see you in a minute." to Till, then hung up, suddenly sweating as if he'd been running for miles.

"What's going on?" Paul couldn't make sense of it. Was Till really that pissed off now that they had taken some time off? Well, for the love of God, but even Till wasn't their superior, even if he sometimes had that tendency to be.

He sat down next to Richard on the back of the chair and stroked his cheek lightly. At that Richard blushed, which was most rare, and then he held his hand tightly.

"Not here, Paul." he said weakly, and sank resignedly into himself. Paul didn't know what this was all about and finally wanted to know what Till had said on the phone. He looked at him questioningly. Richard answered him dully. "Don't ask. Till is right here, he can explain everything to you in detail."

And already Till came wobbling quickly into the hotel lobby. He looked rather displeased. He indicated to both of them that they would talk in the far corner of the lobby and there they sat down together.

Till looked from one to the other with big attentive eyes, again and again, until he understood.

"Nah, right? You did it again? Didn't I tell you to work it out with your girls? I don't want to get all wound up again, far be it from me, you're adults, but it really can't go on like this!" he began, looking urgently from one to the other. "Where were you guys anyway? None of you could be reached?" He took a deep breath and exhaled, then leaned back in the chair, waiting for answers.

Paul and Richard looked at each other for a long time. And then Paul tightened up, slowly taking the floor.

"Okay, to put it comfortably, we went camping." He grinned his usual grin into the round and there also Till could not remain serious any more. He grinned back. And shook his head.

"You two whistles, really ey. Man, I can understand if you got caught, but nothing to say, both girls didn't deserve that." He also straightened up and bent over a bit so that not everyone could hear everything. And then he dropped the bombshell. "By the way, the two of them are already traveling on Saturday. To Spain."

Silence...

But then Paul jumped up, startled. "What, you've got to be kidding me! Oh God!" He paced back and forth, and Richard got up as well, running after him, trying to calm him down.

"Easy, Paul, everything's going to be all right. We've got to figure something out NOW. Maybe it's just as well that we don't have time to brood any more now." He stroked his handsome face slowly, and Paul and he sat back down.

Till watched them both, how tender they were with each other. It was kind of nice to watch and of course he wished them all the happiness in the world. But he also thought about the two women. How could a woman and a girlfriend cope with the fact that her lover had a boyfriend with whom he also practiced sex? Till shook his head again. He was used to a lot of things from his life, but he had not experienced that yet, fortunately.

"I know what we do, Richard. We're going to have a nice dinner and tell our girls about it in peace. It's just the same, we've fallen in love with each other, we can't help it. Can we? What do you say?" Paul nodded in confirmation of his words.

Richard was highly embarrassed by the whole thing, and he didn't know how to handle it at the moment. He wasn't sure if his sweetheart could take it all. After all, he had already screwed up once in Hamburg. To this day, he couldn't understand what had gotten him into this mess. Well, not literally, but figuratively.

"Richard?" Paul nudged him, because Richard was totally lost in thought. Richard looked at him. How he loved this person, everything about him. And then he was supposed to confess to Sylvie, whom he had met and fallen in love with much later, that he was in love with his long-time friend and colleague. That was so out of line. He could totally understand if the two of them didn't get it. That was even worse than entering into an open marriage, like Paul and Arielle.

And he knew of himself, he would be so jealous if he knew that Jenny and Paul... what a load of crap!

Richard was really annoyed by the whole thing. He decided he needed a little time to himself now. So he got up abruptly, muttered something about going out for a smoke and hurriedly disappeared from the hotel lobby, leaving two perplexed looking men behind.

Outside the hotel he lit a cigarette and slowly strolled towards the hotel exit, where of course once again some fans had posted themselves. Should he turn back and walk behind the hotel in the park-like garden? Maybe it was better, he had no desire for fans at the moment.

He immediately turned on his heel and walked quickly through the lobby towards the hotel's rear exit. He was so focused on being alone that he didn't notice the sad looks from Paul, who was still sitting in the lobby with Till.

"Did you see that? Why is he running this way again?" Paul couldn't understand and was suddenly so not sure if Richard felt the same way about him as he did about himself.

"Calm down, Paul, there are fans in front of the hotel, Richard wanted his peace and quiet, which he is more likely to have in the adjacent garden of the hotel." Till put an arm around the smaller boy and pressed him gently against him. But Paul still could not calm down.

"But why does he want to have his peace and quiet? That concerns both of us. He can't just give up like that. I don't get it." Paul was incredibly sad and tired from all the back and forth. Richard and he had spent such a wonderful night in the tent. It was getting worse, too. He was addicted to him, this incredible body and what he could do with it, his warmth, his closeness, his love and how he took it, that alone was worth all the sins in the world. Oh man, he didn't know how to behave anymore.

"Pay attention, Paul. It's best if you go first and call your sweetheart now. Maybe our people have already booked the flights for the girls and she can tell you exactly when they're arriving. What do you think about that, huh?" Till continued to stroke his back, trying to calm him down to some extent.

He looked directly at Till and nodded slowly. "That's a great idea. I'll do that!" Then he stood up, took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Jenny's number. He waited and finally she answered. It was quite strange to hear her familiar and dear voice, and suddenly he wasn't so sure if it would all work out with going to dinner and calmly telling what had happened between him and Richard there.

"Heyhey, there you are at last! How are you doing? Everything okay?" Jenny sounded excited-joyful, and Paul's conscience was pressing him hard, though. Jenny's voice continued to bubble out of the receiver. "I tried to call you back. You tried me, but I was crashing. Night shift. But you didn't answer, I tried a few more times, no chance. And then suddenly your phone was off. Battery dead?"

He fussed a bit, but Till gave him a warning look from the sofa. Paul pulled himself together and took a few steps towards the back exit.

"Oh sweetie, I forgot to charge my cell phone. And only realized it was off when I woke up this morning. Sorry."

He raised his shoulders toward Till and looked out the window into the adjacent park. There, some distance away, he saw Richard sitting on a bench and also talking on the phone.

I wonder who he was talking to?

Maybe with Sylvie?

And already an unprecedented jealousy stirred in Paul. What was he thinking right now? He was jealous, although he didn't even know who Richard was talking to on the phone. He even had his girlfriend on the phone, who was now asking him if he was still there. What a bummer. He needed to take better care of himself and his feelings.

All of a sudden he noticed that another call was knocking. He looked at the display, Mr. Müller - oh no, that couldn't be true now.

"Sweetie, I have to go, there's an important call on the other line. I'll get back to you tonight, okay?" Jenny confirmed that she would be available that evening, and after a quick kiss on the phone, Paul picked up the other call. He was excited and realized that his heart was stumbling.

*

At the same time in the garden of the hotel:

Richard squirmed uncomfortably on the bench. He had Sylvie on the phone and now he knew when they were arriving. They would arrive as early as Saturday morning. That meant he had exactly 4 days to somehow name the problem with Paul and discuss how exactly they should tell the girls.

How that sounded, the problem. Actually, it wasn't. It was ... yeah, how was he supposed to say it? It was ... nah, it's ... love? Yes, that's right, he loved his little fellow guitarist. And he never wanted to give him up again. He couldn't imagine being "just" a friend and colleague of his again. The topic was definitely through, at least for him.

He leaned back against the backrest of the bench and looked straight ahead. There, behind the large pane of glass, he could make out Paul, who was also on the phone. He grinned. Probably Jenny was on Paul's phone. At least that would be totally funny. On the other hand, something stirred inside him that he could hardly describe. It stung in his heart and his stomach felt like he had eaten tons of rocks. He looked closer and noticed that Paul had gone completely pale, not to say chalky white in the face. Oh God, what was going on? He couldn't even concentrate on his phone call anymore.

"Richard? Are you still there?" came from the small receiver now. "Sorry, sweetie, I think I have to go. Let's talk on the phone again tonight." He was suddenly all excited, and thank God Sylvie didn't misunderstand. They said goodbye and Richard hastily hung up.

Then he almost ran towards the hotel's back entrance. There was no trace of Till in the lobby, which was perhaps a good thing. Instead, Paul was sitting apathetically in one of the lounge chairs and had his arm hanging powerlessly over one of the backrests, holding his phone in his hand, which could fall down at any moment.

Richard immediately knelt down to him, took hold of his knees and lifted his chin. What had happened, what was going on? He felt really sick, and now he also realized that Paul was crying.

"Hey...shhhh, Paul, what's wrong?" He sat down next to him and hugged his waist. Then he stroked him tenderly and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Paul sobbed and couldn't get himself together.

"She has... she has..." he stammered. "She left me, she didn't take drugs. I just had Mr Mueller on the phone. Do you understand? She did that on purpose. She wanted to leave me. She wasn't forced. I really hoped it had something to do with the drugs. But I never expected her to really do it out of ... out of..." He sobbed again. "... Out of dislike?"

He continued to cry, feeling so infinitely sorry for Richard. How could Arielle do this to him? Paul was such a kind-hearted person. He had always thought the two of them had a super marriage. After all, they had been together for over 20 years and had a daughter together whom Paul adored.

He could not understand this in any way. Well, it could always happen in life that you met someone again, who you found better than the one you had in your life. He always thought Arielle would have been happy with Paul.

What hadn't Paul done for her and his little family? Once, during a tour, he had genuinely flown home because he just couldn't take it anymore without her and his daughter. That had been during that incredibly long "mother" tour. Even they had all advised him that they would change the tour schedule again so that he could have a few days off.

The management had been anything but thrilled, after all, all the flights, hotels and venues had been booked. But still it had worked out.

And now this? Just like that? She wasn't forced, she had betrayed Paul of her own free will and left without a care in the world. He was flabbergasted. What did this other guy have that Paul didn't? Paul was unique, he was, as already said, good-hearted and for his loved ones he really did everything, and that in the truest sense.

Paul leaned against him and Richard stroked his short hair lightly, "Oh Paul, this all really sucks." Richard was really angry about this whole story. It hurt so incredibly to see his loved one suffer like this. He didn't deserve that, especially him.

Paul looked up at him, now wiping the tears from his face himself.

"Did this Mr Mueller say anything else?" asked Richard.

"Well, I guess that's enough for now!" Richard raised his arms.

"Yes, sorry. But didn't he still want to research whether Schneider's wife had something to do with it, too?" Richard didn't let up. Maybe that distracted Paul a little.

"He didn't bring it up. He just wanted to let me know that." Paul looked completely exhausted, his face reddened and his eyes puffy.

"Gee, Paul, please calm down. We have to play a concert tonight, we had to be fit." Richard was very worried, but Paul just waved it off.

"That's no problem. I can do my job with my left hand. At least it takes my mind off all this shit."

Richard nodded thoughtfully. "Well, come on then, let's chill for a bit before we get a ride to the venue." With that he pulled Paul up with him and together they walked to the elevator.

They didn't see that Till was slowly coming out from behind a pillar and was in turn thinking about how this was all going to continue with the two of them.

Now Mr Mueller had come on the scene again and what he had said to Paul about Arielle was a real bombshell. He knew his rhythm guitarist. He could overplay a lot, in the truest sense of the word, but after he was off the stage, he was all the more emotional. Then it could happen that he looked more than deep into some glasses at the aftershow party. How often had they had to carry the little one to the hotel, so to speak, because emotions had boiled up, for whatever reason. It was good that Richard was looking out for him.... hopefully at least he had himself under control.

Chapter Text

„Here we go, here we go." Jenny was totally excited, finally today she would see her Paul again. Sylvie had joined her and together they waited for Markus who would take them to Fuhlsbüttel Airport. Sylvie grinned to herself. Yes, she too would see her Richard again. They both felt as if they had been separated for years. Yet only a few days had passed. But when you love, every second without your beloved is terrible.

When the doorbell rang, Jenny flinched violently. She grinned at Sylvie and pressed the intercom.

Markus was an incredibly likeable guy who made it easy for the two women to like him. He was a typical Berlin plant with the mouth to match - only Paul could top him linguistically. He spouted one line after another, but he was not annoying, he was super funny. But he was also a man who could get things done. He was lively as he loaded both of their suitcases into the elevator. Then Jenny quickly checked that she had closed all the windows in the apartment and that the stove was no longer on. Now they were ready to go!

They had a pretty fun ride with Markus to the airport. He told stories about the crew and also partly about the band members, but nothing really internal. That was also good. If one talked so much and unasked, it could also backfire very quickly if it reached the wrong people.

He helped the two with their suitcases and parked the car in the short-term parking zone. They bid him a friendly farewell and thanked him. He was still waving to them as they were already walking toward check-in.

"Have you ever been to Madrid?" asked Sylvie Jenny.

"Nah, never. My vacations have always been limited to Germany until now."

"Well then, off to Spain. To the sun!" Sylvie gave Jenny a quick hug and looked at her cell phone. No message from Richard. Hmm, they were probably stressed out again.

They talked and it went pretty fast through the controls at the airport this time. Now they were sitting comfortably in the waiting lounge at the gate. And Jenny noticed now that she felt a bit of fear of flying. Her last flight was ages ago, back then to Munich for a crash course from the Association of Pubs Hamburg. There she had also met Kalle, her current boss. They had gotten along right from the start, back then he was still living in Berlin.

She smiled to herself, took a deep breath. It would all work out. The anticipation of seeing Paul made her relax a little.

"Flight 7430 to Madrid. We ask all passengers to proceed to gate 20." the announcement just came and they got up to stand in line. Jenny shivered slightly and Sylvie squeezed her hand.

*

Meanwhile in Madrid at the hotel:

"Say, what's wrong with you? Do you really want to tell the girls the truth right away, or what? With a sledgehammer? I don't think that's going to go over too well." Paul was beside himself, because Richard had actually made the suggestion to come clean with the girls right away.

Richard sat relaxed on his sofa in his room and saw an angry Paul, who was always pacing up and down like a tiger, gesticulating and talking.

"Well, what would be your suggestion, Mr Uppercut? After all, we haven't managed to come up with a battle plan these past few days," Richard countered directly. "And please sit down, you're driving me crazy!"

Paul paused in his pacing, looked at Richard perplexed, since he was now addressing him in a somewhat annoyed manner, and actually sat down dutifully next to him. If there was one thing Paul couldn't stand, it was an annoyed Richard, who behaved like the biggest bitch ever and didn't come down from his bad mood that fast.

But now Richard pulled Paul to him and kissed him on the side of the temple. "Gee, Paulchen, there's just no other way. What was that again? Better an end with horror than horror without an end?" The whole thing didn't please Richard either, of course, but he was far less emotional than Paul this time.

"Yeah, but, they didn't deserve that. The two girls come here because of us, are probably really looking forward to us and what do we do? We have nothing better to do than to tell them that we have a secret affair with each other. This really sucks!"

Richard nodded. Yes, the whole situation was more than unusual and of course never planned that way. But what should one do, if the feelings spoke a different language than the mind?

"I know that. But pushing around won't do any good. At the latest, when I can no longer hold on to myself and kiss or caress you, then they know. And then it becomes even more uncomfortable! There's simply no other way than to say directly what the phase is." Richard was really at his wit's end.

Paul took a deep breath in and out. "Okay! Let's get on track then, they'll be here in a minute!"

Richard stood up, pulled his shirt into place and took another look in the large mirror in the hallway as he passed. Typical Richard - a strand of hair out of place, and the vain rooster was off the track.

Together they walked out of Richard's room and into the lobby to greet their friends.

In the hallway, Schneider and Flake met them. The two were engrossed in conversation and only realized at the last moment that they were not alone in the hallway. "Hey, what do you guys look like?" began Schneider. "Did something happen?"

"Our girls are arriving here in Madrid right now." Richard stepped sheepishly from one foot to the other.

"Oha, and are you going to tell them right away or rather after the concert?" Flake looked pretty beat up, this whole disaster was taking more out of him than he would have liked. After all, his two best friends were in a situation that was more than unusual.

He wished them both so much that they could enjoy their love, but also that the two women could somehow cope. Jenny and Sylvie were so friendly and were a good match for Paul and Richard. It would be terrible if this failed.

Most of all, he wished Richard finally had something steady without having another so-called "love" burst after what felt like days. And if this person should really be Paul, then so be it. Oh, everything a cramp. Flake could never make up his mind if he stood between himself and the girls like they did.

Paul and Richard answered at the same time. "In a minute! It's better this way!" Together, the four rode the elevator to the lobby. Schneider and Flake said goodbye in the direction of the hotel garden to chill a bit before the show. Richard and Paul went into the lobby and sat down in the lounge area.

"It's going to be okay, Paulchen. It's going to be okay!" Richard stroked his left thigh and pressed a peck on his cheek. It felt so incredibly good to give tenderness to the one they loved, even if they had to continue to be careful that not every hotel guest saw their affection.

*

The flight had been quiet, and so Jenny could also relax a little. She had even been sleeping lightly until Sylvie woke her up, claiming she had been snoring. Pah, no way!

"Oh god, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see what the guys say when we get here!" Jenny was jiggling around in the cab to the hotel next to Sylvie, who seemed to be much more relaxed. But Sylvie was anything but relaxed too, she was just more in control of herself than Jenny.

"Well, they already know. Markus told them, didn't he? Besides, we got the flights booked through management." Sylvie tried to stay calm, realizing that she too was getting more and more excited the longer the trip went on.

"True enough. But still. Actually, we wanted to be there first in France. And now already in Spain. Hah, it's all so exciting!" She took out a mirror from her small handbag and checked her make-up. Sylvie grinned. What didn't a woman do for the masters of creation?

The cab driver pulled up in front of a very nice and classy looking hotel. He got out and helped the two to lift the suitcases out of the trunk. But when Sylvie wanted to pay, he waved off, mumbled something about "everything is already paid" in a bad English, got back into his car and drove slowly down the gravel path of the driveway.

There they stood in front of the hotel - and somehow neither of them dared to enter. Jenny's heart was pounding, but she was the first to bravely pick up her little trolley and walk towards the entrance. Sylvie did the same and behind them the automatic hotel door closed.

... and there they sat, in unanimous togetherness - their two men.

Jenny was about to rush off, because she hadn't seen them yet, but she stopped immediately when she saw Richard stroking Paul's leg, pulling him close to him and - after he had turned around in all directions but hers, to make sure no uninvited onlookers noticed - giving him a kiss in the middle of the mouth.

Please what? Why did Richard kiss her Paul on the mouth? And please why did Paul return this kiss and sigh into it?

Both women stopped with their mouths open and were so perplexed and stunned in front of their heads that they looked as if they were petrified.

Sylvie was the first to come to, turning on her heel and almost knocking over a hotel employee as she rushed out of the hotel at breakneck speed with her suitcase. It took Jenny a moment longer - but that moment was enough for her to be seen, out of the corner of Paul's eye - her Paul.

Startled, the two men stumbled apart. Guiltily, Paul now slowly stood up and simply pulled Richard with him. Quickly he ran towards Jenny...

... but as if in slow motion Jenny sank to the floor next to her suitcase. Paul was much too slow to stop her and Richard even less.

Sylvie must have watched this scene from the outside. She came back into the hotel now, excited and quite angry, after she had thrown the cigarette she had just smoked into the ashtray in front of the hotel.

And she was so angry that she didn't even notice that Paul was now kneeling next to Jenny and that two reception staff members were trying to help him move Jenny into one of the lounge chairs. The security man at the hotel entrance had the presence of mind to call the hotel's own doctor, who actually came running down the stairs with a doctor's case.

Sylvie, for her part, rushed up to Richard and gave him a resounding slap. "Tell me, are you all still crazy? What's the idea? You're out of your minds!" She was flushed bright red and Richard's cheek didn't look much better now. He stood in front of her like a watered poodle and pulled her away from all the people who were taking care of Jenny.

But Sylvie had finally figured out what was going on with Jenny. She tried to pull away from Richard, but he wouldn't let go of her. He had grabbed her arm tightly and was pulling her with him into the hotel garden.

"Shh, jeez. Not so loud. Not everyone here has to hear that!" he tried to smooth the waters a bit. They sat down on a bench. "Where's your luggage?" Richard somehow wanted to change the subject to something more banal, but Sylvie couldn't get herself together.

Now she was crying and Richard's heart was overflowing. He couldn't see any woman crying, he couldn't see anyone crying at all. He always pretended to be totally cool and tough on the outside, but deep inside he was so not. He pulled her to him and despite protests Sylvie let herself slide against his chest.

"What did I do wrong? Tell me, please, Richard. What happened? Why did you kiss Paul on the mouth, what's wrong with you two?" She sobbed and furiously wiped the tears from her face, smudging her makeup. But she so didn't care, he should quietly realize how shitty he had acted.

Richard gave her a kiss on the cheek. And then he confessed - and everything he and Paul had shared or still shared.

"... And then I gradually realized that I love you both - Paul and you. And he's no different with Jenny." Richard looked pretty beat up, too. He didn't want to hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted.

"But how, pray tell, do you come up with something like that? At first it was more fun than anything else, wasn't it? You wanted to take the wind out of your colleagues' sails... and then it escalated like this? You're not gay, and I don't think Paul is either? Are you?"

Slowly the tears dried up and Sylvie took a shaky breath. "Aren't you?" she repeated again, because Richard didn't answer and instead lit a cigarette with trembling hands.

Chapter Text

They had talked for a long time, all of them. Jenny had recovered to some extent from her shock and the small fainting fit. She was sitting quite calmly on the sofa in Paul's room, where they had all moved. Paul was taking touching care of her, had put a blanket around her so she wouldn't freeze.

They were a little pressed for time, because they had to be at the stadium by 4:00 p.m. at the latest. Richard had Sylvie pressed against him and stroked her hair, lost in thought.

"It's really hard to understand what's been going on. I don't really know how to deal with it," Jenny began quietly. Paul pressed a peck on her cheek. "Does this mean it's all over between us now?" She dreaded the answer. She had looked forward to seeing him for so long, counting every day until she saw him again. And now this. It was quite a strange situation.

"Of course NOT! Where did you get that idea?" Richard had answered instead of Paul. "What's between Paul and me has nothing to do with you guys." He nodded his head to that, as if to confirm it to himself.

Sylvie looked intensely at Richard for a long time, and Jenny had also now turned her focus quite directly on the lead guitarist. "But how is that going to work, Richard? I can't imagine sharing Paul. Or, how do you see it? Do you want to share Paul?" She was up now, rubbing her upper arms shiveringly. She looked to Sylvie, but she was now crying again. "I don't want to offend anyone, but I don't know if I can. Sylvie, please say something about this too!"

Jenny had now stepped next to her and sat down with her. Sylvie looked at her out of teary eyes. She reached for Richard's hand, squeezed it lightly, and looked up at him. "I don't know if I can do this either. But I want you to be happy, Richard. And if you can only be that with Paul, then I'll just have to accept that!" She continued to sob and tried to pull her hand away from him, but Richard held it tight.

"Accept it? Tell me, what are you talking about? You know I love you. But I love Paul, too." He looked over at Paul for a moment and he nodded in affirmation. "Don't you think we shouldn't give up so quickly and maybe give it a try?" He had gone very quiet and stroked her face lovingly.

She looked at him, startled. "Really?"

Richard kissed her hair and took her face in both his hands now. "Yes, really! What will become of it, we don't know. None of us do. But we should try." Again he nodded. "I don't want to lose you, and I don't want to lose Paul either. I love you both far too much for that!"

Paul looked lovingly at both of them. He was proud of Richard for reacting that way. Then he looked back at his girlfriend. She had gotten up again and stepped to the window, looking out into the bright sunshine, of which there was unfortunately nothing here in the room.

"Honestly? I need to think about this in peace. Since you're about to leave, I'd suggest we put it off until tomorrow. I can't change so quickly, and I don't want to." She acted more composed than she really was. She didn't want to lose Paul under any circumstances. He had brought so much joy and sunshine into her life, and that couldn't just be over now.

At least that played into Paul's cards, because he was usually more rational than Richard when it came to appointments. "Well, okay, that's a good idea of yours, honey! Richard, we should get going. Don't you guys want to come?" He looked questioningly from Jenny to Sylvie. The two looked at each other seeking help.

At that moment there was a loud knock on the door. Richard let go of Sylvie and opened it. And there they stood, all four of them.

"Now let's go, you toots. Everybody get in the car!" That was Till and he meant it just as he said it, he meant all of them.

"Okay, well off to the stadium." Richard grabbed Paul and pulled him tenderly against him. Sylvie brushed the tears from her face and stood up. A little wobbly she stood on her feet, but Jenny supported her. Together they walked towards the underground garage, where the V-classes were already waiting for them.

Nobody talked about the fact that of course everybody had seen that the two women were anything but cheerful. It was clear to everyone that THE conversation must have already taken place. They would all have it explained to them when the time came. It had always been that way with them.

*

"Sometimes I feel like I play better when I'm kind of in grief. And I have that, great ones actually." Paul had planted himself on a couch backstage after the brilliant concert and grabbed a beer from the catering. He sat across from Schneider, who still couldn't quite understand what was really going on between him and Richard.

Richard himself was still arguing with one of the Techs, because his Inears and his boxes had once again not worked as he would have liked.

Till and Flake were standing at the catering and were chatting about the next hiking tour, where Olli was also listening with interest, but he was sitting at one of the tables and was already shoveling into himself. One wondered where all the calories he was constantly eating were going, but apparently he had such a good metabolism that not a gram of fat was anywhere on him. Even Flake whined now and then about a little belly fat, but it was so small, one could only laugh about it.

Jenny and Sylvie had withdrawn a bit and were on a little tour around the stage with Jens Koch, the house and court photographer of the Rammsteiner. The stage was just entered one by one by hard-working helpers who were about to dismantle it again. The second stage was already in Italy, this one they would rebuild in France.

It was all very exciting to see what kind of technology was installed, how it worked, how the pyro reacted, how the stage felt, where the escape routes were, how to interpret all the signs on and behind the stage, and so on....

The two women had been given other ideas by Jens Koch, because he was a good listener and an even better entertainer. He knew his job, took unbelievably good pictures and was thievishly happy when he could annoy Till. Of course, this was always done amicably, but he knew how to get the good-natured colossus off his guard.

There were pictures of Till that hopefully no one ever got to see, the fans would swear off the entire band if they got hold of them. You wouldn't believe it, but Till was also a vain cock. A little bit different than Richard, but not less exhausting. But he was that only in very few moments. Most of the time Till was deeply relaxed.

There were also pictures of him lying backstage somewhere with his mouth open, snoring, because he had exhausted himself so much again that he simply fell down like a felled tree after he had left the stage. He was then also not to be awakened and not rarely the five other gentlemen had already heaved him with united forces into some cars and had brought in the hotel into his room.

Most of the time, the others would see a somewhat cross-tempered Till the next morning, who preferred to have breakfast all by himself and had to get back into the swing of things. Not infrequently, he was then, if time permitted, on the road in some woods. And that mostly alone or, if it came up, with Flake. Silently, the two then walked through nature and hung their thoughts, as Flake told Paul from time to time.

"Yeah, but that can't be it either. How did your girls react when you confessed it, so to speak?" Schneider asked Paul just as Richard joined them and sat next to him, pressed very close to Paul. He lovingly caressed him and gave him a little kiss on his tattooed neck. He sucked in Paul's scent and sighed in surrender. Paul turned to him and kissed him directly on the mouth. Schneider's eyes widened, but he left it at that. He would get used to it - someday.... maybe...

"Hm, somehow my sweetie couldn't really handle it. Sylvie was somehow different. She wants Richard to be happy. But my little girl still has to think about it, she can't just decide that, she said." Paul leaned back with a sigh and closed his eyes. Richard was bent forward and already had his obligatory cigarette in his hand again. Actually, smoking was prohibited here, but of course he didn't feel like constantly traipsing through the stadiums' catacombs only to smoke in front of the entrances.

"After all, it's not all that easy. If I imagine, I'm really looking forward to finally seeing my boyfriend again, who is traveling all over the world. And then the time finally comes and what do you see? His boyfriend sitting in the hotel lobby, smooching with his best buddy and colleague. I think I would have been totally ticked off. No offense to you guys, I still think this is anything but normal, but you have to understand the girls too. This is really the shit!" Schneider took a deep breath. "And your sweetie, Scholle, she still reacted quite well. You can see how much she loves you. But I'm not so sure about Jenny. I mean, honestly, how do you want to continue all this? There's a very special word for... I can't think of it..."

He pondered, but Richard spoke up. "Polygamous? Or something like that?"

Paul butted in again. "Nah, that doesn't quite apply, I'm not married to Jenny."

"Yes, but with Arielle." Schneider stroked his forehead, feeling warm and with a headache.

"True. Still. But we're not together anymore. There's another word for... wait, I'll ask "Aunt Google"..." Paul typed away on his cell phone, then grinned. "Polyamory, that's what it's called!" He nodded at that.

"Uh-huh, whatever. What would happen if the girls went through with it, too, and had another guy on their hands?" Schneider had talked himself into a frenzy. "Have you guys ever thought of that? I don't think you guys would like it either."

"Nah, sure, we wouldn't like it. But it's different with Richard and me. We've known each other for ages. I also didn't think that our cuddling would turn into a serious thing. But it happened, we can't change it now. And we don't want to. Right, Reesh?"

He looked at Richard for confirmation, but Richard looked at him sadly. Then he stood up. "I have to go out the door for a minute, I don't really feel well right now." With that, he quickly rushed out of the baking room, leaving two stunned colleagues behind.

"I'm kind of feeling really crappy, too. I think I'm going to go lie down in the hotel right now." Schneider stroked his forehead and narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe you should eat something. You've been working yourself up again, no wonder you've got it in the head!" Paul stood up and simply pulled the drummer along with him to the catering. "Come on now, time for predator feeding!"

Then they both took plates and heaped the food on them. Paul was happy, finally he could eat something. But Schneider trotted along behind Paul with his shoulders drooping. He still wasn't really relaxed thinking about the fact that his two colleagues and friends were now in a gay relationship. Not to mention their girlfriends, who were currently out with Jens.

As the two sat across from each other at the table, Paul dropped the next bombshell, as he told Schneider about Mr Mueller's phone call. Schneider almost dropped the bite he had just put in his mouth out of it again. "Please what? That's what Mr Mueller said? That's not true, oh man!" He leaned back and wiped his lips with his napkin.

He looked closely at Paul and then saw that Paul was trembling and small tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes. He pulled the tears up and focused on his food. Paul always tried to see everything positive in everything, but in this matter he was powerless. Schneider felt incredibly sorry for him. Even though he sometimes drove him up the wall, but no one deserved that, especially his colleague and friend.

"How are you going to deal with it now?" asked Schneider meekly.

Paul looked up from his food again. "Honestly? I don't know. It still hurts pretty bad, even though I have just enough distraction. I just can't understand why Arielle did this to me. Why did she leave without a word? Why didn't she even talk to me? Maybe we could have saved something. But everything was always fancy and beautiful, never a bad word. No complaining or anything. And all of a sudden she left, just like that. And then this appearance in the pub where Jenny works. It was just too much, you know? Suddenly there's this incredible woman and blows me away! I was so happy with Jenny... until it happened with Richard. But even now I'm happy, with Richard AND Jenny. Only, I don't know how all this is supposed to go on? If Jenny throws in the towel, I can't do anything. And that hurts unbelievably! I don't want to lose either of them. Oh, it all just sucks!"

Paul sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry, Schneider, I didn't mean to cry all over you."

Schneider just nodded his head mutely. "No problem, Paul. After all, it's all pretty heavy stuff that's been going on lately." Reassuringly, he stroked Paul's arm, which was lying next to the plate. "But let's get back to Mr Mueller. Did he, by any chance, also say if he got anything out of Ulrike's behavior?" He looked directly at him, but Paul shook his head.

"Nah, he didn't say anything then. I didn't ask either, was so floored by the news with Arielle that I forgot." He shrugged helplessly.

"Hm, too bad. But maybe we'll get a message there, too. Would be good, because by now I don't know what to make of it either. I'm so glad that we can at least play concerts and distract ourselves. If I sat at home brooding now, I'd go insane!" He looked sadly around the table. He missed Ulrike, he missed his kids - once again he felt like parts of him were missing, and he was really glad for his colleagues and friends who kept him on his toes, even if he didn't really approve of this so-called relationship of Paul and Richard.

"I'll take your word for that. Wouldn't feel any different." He yawned, realizing that this day had taken a lot out of him. He longed for rest and a warm bed. "We should see where the girls are with Jens! And what about Richard? He just wanted to get some air, didn't he?" Paul stood up and put the used plate on the sideboard, Schneider as well.

"Come on, we're looking for them! They can't be that far, the stage is already being dismantled. I'll see where Jenny and Sylvie are. You'll take care of Richard?" Paul nodded and so they separated - Schneider towards the stage, Paul towards the exit of the stadium.

Chapter Text

Schneider found the two women in one of the stands in the stadium, engaged in a lively conversation with Jens Koch. That was good, they were distracted. But still, something had to happen, and soon, as it looked now, it went no further, at least the drummer thought.

In the meantime, Paul had walked towards the stadium exit, but since there were several exits in such a large stadium, he didn't find Richard right away. At the penultimate one, he finally got lucky. Richard sat slumped like a heap of misery on a step and smoked thoughtfully. He looked up at the sky, lost in thought, and his eyes were moist. Oh God, if Mr. Kruspe was already crying, it had to be pretty bad. Paul was absolutely sure that Richard hardly ever cried, because he didn't want to show his hurt side to anyone. But it was so important to let your feelings out sometimes, he knew that from his own experience.

It was only when Paul carefully sat down next to him that Richard noticed him. He looked at him from reddened eyes. Paul leaned against him and Richard tenderly stroked his head. "Oh, Paulchen, how is it all going to go now? I thought we could handle this, but somehow this whole messed up situation totally sucks." He sniffled and wiped tears from his eyes with his sleeve. Paul nodded and looked up into the now dark sky as well. He was absolutely sure that he would lose Jenny if she thought about everything in peace. And so would Richard. Please, what woman went along with that, that her own boyfriend still had a lover? Paul had grabbed a cigarette from Richard's pack, although he actually wanted to smoke less, but the current situation also overwhelmed him - and not only the thing with Jenny, but also the thing with Arielle.

"I don't know what we're doing either. I think it's good if we wait until the girls say something. Anything else would just be wasted energy." He snuggled up to Richard.

Richard tightened up. "Okay. Then we should now go back inside and see where the two are. Maybe there's a result already. I know that sounds totally stupid, but hey, maybe they can live with it!"

He rose and Paul pushed his half-smoked cigarette into the stand ashtray. Slowly they went back. But when Richard tried to take Paul's hand, he eluded him. "Not here, Richard. The crew doesn't know we've got something going on."

Richard looked at him, startled. He was right, but it still hurt not to publicly squeeze the hand of his loved one, to caress him or kiss him. He hated playing the ideal world to everyone except his boys. What was so wrong with men loving men, or women loving women, for that matter? He had always advocated, vehemently, that everyone be equal, no matter who they went to bed with. The main thing was to be happy and loved. Everything else was so beside the point. He couldn't understand why people still thought that way in the 21st century. That's why he had been so in favor of Paul and him giving each other that kiss on stage, in defiance of every homophobic asshole. They couldn't have known that it had turned into something more.

*

Richard and Paul had wanted to wait for their girlfriends, but they had both independently fallen asleep in their respective rooms. The concert had been nice, but also exhausting, and this whole private misery no less draining.

Paul noticed someone stroking his head and pressing a feather-light kiss to his cheek. He pressed himself against the person and thought it was beautiful. He sighed and pressed himself against the warm body. Still tired, he opened his eyes and recognized Jenny, who had sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked down at him tenderly and whispered, "Hey, handsome. Are you still awake?" Paul blinked and tried to sit up in bed, but Jenny pushed him back and lay down beside him, pulling the covers over them both. Very close she had moved up to him and it felt incredibly nice to have her so close next to him. Paul pressed a kiss into her curls and hugged her gently.

"Paul, I've been thinking hard again about this whole thing with you and Richard. I had some time earlier when Jens had shown us all this stage construction and everything to do with it. He went for a drink with Sylvie backstage, but I wanted to think in peace," she began to tell. All the while she looked at Paul intensely.

"I realized that I don't want to lose you, simply because you are you, because you gave me so much sunshine and love that I have never experienced in my whole life. I love you, you crazy man. And yeah sure, I know this isn't going to be easy, but..." She broke off, having to swallow as she thought again about Paul and Richard sharing as much or more intimacy as they both had. But Paul continued to stroke her hair reassuringly.

"Little girl, I don't think you have to worry about that. I love you too, of course, what do you think? But hold even after all these years the old Kruspe. Yes, I know that sounds totally stupid, but it seems that I really love you both. And Richard is the same. Richard and I talked about it earlier." Now he sat up after all and pulled Jenny along.

She sniffled and cleared her throat. "All right. So, for my part, I can only reiterate that I love you, more than anything else in my life. And clearly, that sight of the two of you in the lobby today pretty much shocked me. Of course, the fact that it then completely knocked me out was not something I could have predicted. I think I was just so perplexed because I was so excited to see you that my mind just thought, nope, that's not true now." She swallowed again. "But maybe we should try - but only on one condition!" She looked at him.

"And what would that be?" came from Paul, now nervously kneading his fingers.

"I don't want to know how often you make out with Richard or whatever. And I don't want to see it in any smear sheets either. Keep this between the two of you, please. That's all I want. I would also like to ask you not to invent some half-baked compromise, for example that you spend half a day with Richard at Christmas and the other half with me. That would drive me crazy."

Paul was flabbergasted, he never thought Jenny would have thought the whole thing through like that. He thought the arrangement was totally fine for himself. All that was left was for Richard and his girlfriend to agree to it.

He pulled Jenny to him and gave her an intense and loving kiss. "Oh man, kiddo, you wouldn't believe how relieved I am that you're not breaking up with me. I had already imagined all the horror scenarios. But this is really good. That's how we do it. That sounds reasonable to my ears at least. Let's see how the other two see it."

*

Lovingly, Richard nibbled on Sylvie's neck. They had talked for a long time about this whole thing with him and Paul. Jens had probably told the two girls that he and Paul had always had an incredibly intense relationship that was worse than any marriage. Sometimes they fought to the death, sometimes they cuddled as if they'd been dating for years. "The two of them are just unbelievable in what they do!" Jens had told Sylvie and Jenny. "But I would never have thought that it would become something more. I always thought they were doing it as a joke, or in Richard's case out of conviction, because he has a huge problem with homophobia," Jens had mused.

Richard smiled to himself. Jens was one of the few of the team who knew. He was very talkative and entertaining, but anything that was supposed to stay under the radar, stayed under it. Richard was absolutely sure of that. He had tested many crew members over the past few years just by telling them things they didn't want anyone to know. All but one had passed the tests. The one who had failed the tests was also no longer employed by them.

"I just want to know one thing, Richard, because I've just had a lot of negative experiences with men." Richard looked at Sylvie expectantly. "Do you really love me or am I just the appendage for the public?" She looked sadly at her hands and the wine glass in her hand trembled. Then she took the last sip and placed the glass hard back on the small side table.

"Sweetie, I know this may sound a little weird to your ears right now, but I love you AND Paul. I really can't describe it any other way. I don't want to lose you because after all the screwing around I've done over the last few years, I've finally found a woman I can imagine having more than a few months of fun with. And with Paul it's... yeah, how do I describe it? With Paul it's something very intimate, buried for years and only now erupting. Paul is so familiar to me because I feel he has always been there. With him, I can completely let myself go, even when I'm feeling like shit. I don't even have that with my children, with Khira and Merlin. Max is still much too small for that, of course."

He poured himself another glass of wine and put the cork back on the bottle. Then he continued to speak. "You make me feel just as good, but in a completely different way. I love the way you laugh, sometimes a little too loudly..." He broke off because she playfully slapped his forearm. "... I love your scent, I love the way you move, your loving and tender way of showing me that you love me, oh, just everything about you. Even when you run your mouth over me and don't let me get away with everything because once again I'm acting like I'm THE rock star par excellence and the whole world is against me." Richard had to take a deep breath because he just wasn't used to such long speeches, he preferred to put his energy into music and song lyrics.

"You're so cute when you talk yourself into a rage, my little rock star." Sylvie had playfully placed her index finger on Richard's lips. He grinned and kissed her finger. He started to talk again, but she cut him off. "Don't. Let me talk, please." He surrendered and it was Sylvie's turn now. "You have to promise me one thing." She looked at him challengingly.

"Anything you want, love!" His eyes flashed.

"Nana, don't get cocky, mister. Now, I don't want you to rave to me about Paul, I don't want to hear or see anything about the caresses you exchanged. If you can promise me that, I can live with that and then we'll see where it all goes. Okay?"

She leaned back and Richard stood up to put his arms around her from behind. Then he kissed his way down her neck. He hummed in satisfaction. "Okay." he breathed. "This is more than I expected. I'm so glad we finally have a solution. Now we can only hope the other two feel the same way."

They kissed passionately and Richard pulled his girlfriend up from the chair to land with her on the big double bed. There was no room for any more words now, as he began to slowly undress her....

*

"How can a little person shovel so much into himself?" Schneider grinned across the large breakfast table in Paul's direction. He was so glad the two women hadn't left. Apparently the four of them had come to an agreement. What it was, he wanted to know, of course, because he was curious. But so far, not a word about it had passed their lips, not from anyone.

"I can, my dear, nothing starts with me. You can not. You have to watch what you eat." Paul stuck his tongue out at him. This cheeky little dwarf.

Flake sat next to him and grinned pensively. Schneider was sure he knew something. He wasn't so sure about Olli and Till, they were busy and engrossed in a conversation about different approaches to fishing. Fishing was not his thing at all, sitting still all the time and looking at the lake or pond to see if someone might bite. No, he had to have more action. He was more likely to play soccer or handball, preferably with his good friend Kretzsche. The next Union game was already on the schedule, in December, indoors, but better than nothing.

He missed these little activities outside his family. Speaking of family. That apparently didn't exist for him anymore. He noticed it all tightening in the back of his throat when he thought about Ulrike and the kids. He missed them, of course. All of them!

And that private detective still hadn't called and told him what was really there. Or maybe there was nothing. Maybe she was just up and leaving like that because she just didn't want him anymore. Maybe it really was like Paul. Arielle had also just run away. And she had done it on purpose, she hadn't been drugged.

It was sickening!

Well, Paul and Arielle didn't have three small children, but still. You don't do that - with anyone. She could have at least talked to him. What the hell had he missed? Had he not had enough time for her? Probably... but she knew his job, she knew that he was on tour several months a year. She knew that from the beginning.

They had been so happy, he would have done anything, but really anything for this woman. And now? A pile of broken pieces that he had to pick up slowly when they were back in Berlin in a few days.

He would have liked to run away, somewhere where no one knew him. But, as we all know, that wasn't possible.

"Schneider? Schneider! What's the matter with you?" Richard patted him on the shoulder. "We're leaving in a minute, we're going to Italy!" he quipped, stroking his back. Schneider just nodded.

Italy, hach, how nice. He hadn't been there in a long time. He loved the Italian cuisine, he loved the flair in this country, the temperament of the Italians, the fast language, the music. Just everything. He was looking forward to it and a little bit this thought of it could drown his worries.

But he was still curious about what Richard and Paul had discussed with their friends now. He pulled Richard back down to him as everyone else was already more or less on their way to the lobby to grab their luggage and walk towards the shuttle buses.

"So, how did Jenny and Sylvie react?" he asked Richard directly.

Richard grinned all over his face. "Curious, aren't you, Schneiderlein?" He was about to get up again to make him squirm, but Schneider wouldn't let him.

"Sit down! So, what's the phase now?" Schneider jittered back and forth on the chair with impatience.

Richard grinned surrenderedly. "Okay, you old washerwoman." Then he told him all about their agreement.

"Then you two were really lucky with your girls. I think it's really great that they reacted so casually. Not every woman would have let that happen to her. And if you stick to the agreements, then you'll see how it goes. Only one thing is a fact, Scholle. If you let it slide again, they will be gone. And rightly so. You'll never find such great women again, let me tell you that!"

Richard raised his eyes in mock annoyance. "Yes, Dad."

Schneider nudged Richard's arm. The latter laughed at the top of his lungs, as was seldom seen with him. Then he pulled Schneider to his feet and together they strolled out of the breakfast room toward the shuttles that would take them to their private plane....

Chapter Text

"When the red sun sinks into the sea at Capri..."

Till sang this old hit song loudly and fervently on his hotel balcony, and he didn't care if anyone could hear it or if anyone liked it.

"... And from the sky the pale crescent moon flashes....

The fishermen go out to sea in their boats....

And they lay out their nets in a wide sweep..."

His beautiful baritone echoed loudly across the hotel garden where Flake and Paul had retired for a little break.

The two women were shopping with Richard, Milan was predestined for that. And Richard, the old diva, had to come along, of course. He had no wardrobe at all in his closet, of course. Schneider had withdrawn completely and wanted to be alone. Whether that was good for him, Till wasn't so sure, after all, a little distraction would be better for him, so that he didn't have to think about the still unresolved disaster with Ulrike.

"Alta, is it still going on? Dit jeht ooch leisa!", Paul crowed at that moment from downstairs to Till and threw him a more than angry look. But he grinned all over his face and continued to sing unaffected.

"Only the stars, they show them in the firmament

Their way with the pictures that every fisherman knows

And from boat to boat the old song resounds

Hear from afar how it sings

Bella, bella, bella, bella Marie, stay true to me

I'll be back tomorrow morning

Bella, bella, bella, bella Marie, never forget me."

"This is not to be endured. Come on Flake, let's go." With that, Paul resolutely got up from his couch and pulled Flake along with him, who almost tripped over him, he was so startled.

Till almost fell off the balcony out of sheer exuberance when he saw the two of them stumbling off the couches in good old slapstick fashion. He was in a great mood, he had made good contacts here in Italy over the years, and he was looking forward to tonight like a little child.

There was to be a big reunion with Giacomo, the landlord of his favorite restaurant in Milan. He had asked his friends and colleagues if they would come along, but they apparently had other plans. Paul and Richard's two girls also preferred to be alone with their husbands, or rather the men with them. Oh man, he couldn't even think about how all this was going to go on.

But today, for once, that was not his problem. He was also looking forward to meeting a certain Isabella, Giacomo's daughter, whom he had met during their last visit to Italy. She was a typical Italian. Long dark hair, a tight figure with an ass that made you forget everything you could think of as a man. Her bosom left nothing to be desired and she had legs that reached to the sky. For her temperament she actually needed a gun license, but Till was not willing to resist.

In short, he wanted this girl - tonight. And no one was going to stop him, certainly not his two guitarists, who were now leading relationships of four. Unbelievable!

Giacomo apparently also had absolutely nothing against his daughter and Till flirting with each other or even doing more, because he had liked Till from the beginning like a son he never had. Why that was, Till himself did not know, but it was nice, and he felt so at home with Giacomo and his team, as rarely anywhere else.

*

"Dude, he's out of his mind. I wonder what's wrong with him again? Too much smoking or the climate here in Italy. It can't be anything else." Paul shook his head again. Flake grinned finely. The two had now sat down on Paul's balcony and were trying to chill a bit. "What are you grinning at? I'm right after all!" Paul looked at Flake belligerently.

"No, I think our dear Till has a flame here somewhere. In any case, he's always like that when there's something female somewhere near him." Flake looked conspiratorially at Paul.

"Aha, well that explains a lot. But does he have to announce it so loudly on his terrace? I mean, we're not alone in the hotel here either. Unbelievable!" Paul raised his eyes and let himself sink back into his lounger. He looked annoyed in front of him. He wasn't used to this kind of thing either.

"Oh, Paul, calm down, will you?" Flake stroked his longtime friend's arm. "What's much more interesting is what's going on with you and Richard now? And of course with your girls?"

"Well, you know that. We have made an agreement that Richard and I together with the girls look, where it all leads. For my part, I can only say I love my Jenny, nothing has changed. Now even more so, she is simply a stunner. I would never have thought that she would react like this to the whole thing. But I also love Richard. Probably always have. It all blew me away. I mean, there's this good friend that you've known your whole life, and then there's this little kiss and suddenly everything changes. And I can tell you, I've been listening to myself for a long time to see if I'm still quite right in the head, but my gut still tells me that I want this with him, absolutely."

Flake nodded his head thoughtfully. He knew that Paul had had experiences with men in earlier years, so that was nothing new. But he never thought he would act it out someday. And then also with Richard, who had been rumored for years anyway, even if he had constant womanizing, to be latently gay.

He grinned again. The two of them were somehow also a really cute couple. He was genuinely delighted with each of those on-stage kisses, which, yes, he always saw directly. There was nothing reprehensible or disgusting about it. But Flake was also curious, he wanted to know exactly how it went with the sex. And if he could ask anyone, it was Paul. He trusted him one hundred percent.

He took heart and asked directly and straightforwardly.

"You, this might be a little awkward for me right now, but how exactly does it work between you guys. I mean.... Well, you know!" he pressed around. Paul looked at him dumbfounded at first, then he understood, but he wanted to let Flake fidget a bit.

"No, I don't know what you mean." He grinned all over his face, and when Flake looked up again, he punched him in the arm. "Ouch, tell me... All right, how should I explain this now? It's just very different than with a woman, the preparation alone..." He broke off, somehow he was embarrassed to talk about such intimate things, even in front of his longtime friend.

Flake nods in understanding. "Well, I know a little bit about it, too. You don't have to go into details now, but how do you feel about it? Were you bottom? Oh God, that's embarrassing to ask you." He blushed and began to sweat. And this to him, who was actually always relatively relaxed in such things. They felt like teenagers, yet they were both adults, and he had always thought wise, too.

"Yes, I was." That's all he could get out right now, because the memories of Richard just overwhelmed him. He was more than hot and would have loved to run to him right now and seduce him by every trick in the book. But unfortunately that was not possible, because the gentleman was just shopping - and that of all things with his "opponent", who was not one and his girlfriend, who for him, Paul, was of course also somehow competition, but somehow also not. A vicious circle.

"Yes, and? How was that, so the feeling? Can I also imagine that as a straight man or how?", Flake asked further.

Paul laughed dirty.

"Hm, I don't know. So one is just filled in the butt. Oh, my, that's hard." He turned red and was suddenly completely unsure whether it was all right. Why, actually? He loved Richard, with all possible consequences. And he didn't regret anything, not a second of their lovemaking. And he wanted to have it again and again, from him also the other way around.

Flake looked at him, startled. "How filled out? Is hard to imagine!" He sighed.

"Well, ah Flaki, I don't know how to explain it either. Like when you have to go, only the other way around. Dude, that's weird to tell that too. Especially to you, you've known me my whole life. And that's kind of so very private too." He broke off because he was somehow ashamed, and he didn't even know why.

But Flake put an arm around him. "Oh, Paul, don't worry about it. It's just the way it is. The main thing is that you all get along with it and are happy. And please, do me a favor, keep everything to yourselves, all the dirty details! The stuff you just told me, I don't really want to know that much, even though I asked." He squeezed him gently, the tall gaunt man the shorter one, and gave him a gentle peck on the short-cropped hair.

"I think I need some fresh air. Will you come have a smoke with me?" With that, Paul stood up and together the two of them left Paul's room to go to the smoking area of the hotel. As they did so, Paul looked at his wristwatch. The three graces were still not there. Well, he liked to go shopping, but this hardcore shopping was not his thing. Probably some helpers of theirs had to carry Richard's shopping bags from A to B again. He was pretty sure that the girls were guaranteed not as extreme shopping as this little diva.

*

Meanwhile, the "little diva" sat quite chilled with Sylvie and Jenny in an ice cream parlor in the old town of Milan. They had also earned, hardcore shopping was exhausting, Richard had now also noticed once again. What he had not found everything in new clothes, especially in his favorite colors - he loved the small shops here. And it didn't have to be designer clothes, what he found and liked automatically went with him.

Sylvie and Jenny had kept a pretty low profile, although the two of them could quietly max out the gentlemen's credit cards. But neither really wanted to, they didn't want to fleece them, either of them. Richard was genuinely taken aback, most of his recent flings were letting themselves be gifted like nothing good, but Jenny and Sylvie had only stopped at a small jewelry store.

He looked at his girlfriend in love and gave her a little kiss on the hair. Jenny thought that was just super beautiful. But in the back of her mind, unfortunately, was this thought that Richard was also spreading little kisses on Paul's mop of hair. She pushed the thought far away, it all helped nothing, they had agreed to at least try it, and after one day they could not give up already. That wasn't fair to anyone.

Sylvie had looked so devoutly at this little silver bracelet with the snake pattern at the jeweler in question, Richard couldn't help it, he had to buy it for her. She had been overjoyed and also somehow ashamed. There was no way she wanted to be kept out by her Mr. Superstar. And she had made that more than clear to Richard. Jenny thought that was great of her. Sylvie didn't put up with anything, it was just as well that Richard got an announcement now and then. He had a tendency to overdo it, unfortunately. She had also seen that he had bought a little something at the jeweler - what it was exactly, he had known to hide well. Probably something for Paul, her Paul. She ignored this little twinge in her heart.

She herself had seen a white pearl necklace in the shop window, the kind men were supposedly fond of wearing these days. She would never forget when she saw many running around with it last summer. First she was shocked, then she thought it was kind of cool. She had informed herself over the net, but apparently that was with the gentlemen of the creation really the newest cry.

Would Paul like something like that? She asked Richard, but in terms of jewelry with Paul, he was sure that he probably only wore the more coarse things like skull rings and link chains, of course made of silver.

"Well, honestly, a pearl necklace like grandma used to wear, no, I can't really imagine that with Paul." Richard looked doubtfully at Jenny.

"You think so? Why not, actually? He likes unusual things, doesn't he?" Jenny replied. She kept trying to peek into Richard's small bag, but he had hidden his purchase well.

Richard nodded in response. "Yes, that's true. But a pearl necklace is something else altogether, even if it is hip at the moment."

She then stalked around the said necklace she had chosen for a long time, until the clerk at the jewelry store looked at her questioningly.

"Okay. I'll take these please. Can you please gift wrap these?" asked Jenny as she decided to bring Paul this necklace. She whipped out her credit card as she paid because the necklace wasn't as expensive as most of the other items on display.

So she confidently followed the lady to the cash register at the store called Pisa Diamanti, which was located in the so-called Quadrilatero, the area around Via Monte Napoleone that was probably famous for its designer stores.

But of course Richard wouldn't let that happen. "Say, you're out of your mind. Not your credit card. Here!" He gave her his, and his look brooked no argument. She paid and together they strolled out of the little store again.

"Say, what time is it anyway?" asked Richard, who once again didn't have a watch with him and of course didn't have the idea to look at his cell phone. No wonder with all the spoils.

Jenny looked at her wristwatch and was startled. "Oha, already shortly after seven. Paul will be worried already." She sent him a quick WhatsApp so he knew they would be arriving back at the hotel, which was a bit out of town, soon. Richard was aware of that, the little guy worried about the people he loved all the time and everywhere. He smiled as he thought of him, and called one of their Secus to pick them up in the old town.

Jenny was all excited now, how would Paul react to the gift? She really had no idea, but by nature he was so charming that he was sure to wear the necklace once or twice, just so she could see that her gift wasn't completely free. He was far too decent to refuse. He was well behaved, even if he was usually very direct and also said when something didn't suit him. And she was just as curious to see if he would tell her what he had gotten from Richard. But there she had to be patient.

*

Paul and Flake sat chilling in the winter garden of the hotel and enjoyed a plate of delicious Italian hors d'oeuvres. After all, it was already after seven and he was starting to worry about where the three of them were. But then his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He fumbled to get it out and hastily opened a WhatsApp from his sweetheart. Good, they were on their way, so it couldn't take much longer.

"You, I think I'm going to lie down. I'm so tired today. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" With that, Flake wiped his mouth with his napkin, quickly finished his water, stood up, gave Paul a quick hug, and headed for the elevators.

Paul nodded his understanding and was left alone in the restaurant. He gazed pensively through the large windows toward the hotel garden.

It was unbelievable what had happened in the last weeks. Some people never experience so much in their whole life - and now? Now he had no wife, but the most loving and incredible girlfriend he could imagine, and a friend who was also one of his best buddies.

He silently wondered for the hundredth time what would have happened if Jenny had said goodbye... or if Richard didn't feel the way he did? He waved to the waiter, paid, and walked from the conservatory directly toward the hotel entrance to wait for the three of them.

Chapter Text

Richard had once again outdone himself. One of her assistants lugged what felt like 30 bags from the car straight to the hotel. Paul shook his head laughing. Mr. Kruspe again. Richard booted proudly like Oskar in his direction, in tow the two women. All three were chattering and gesticulating wildly. What they were talking about he couldn't understand at the moment because they were still too far away. But his heart soared when he noticed their familiarity. He was happy - with both of them.

And he saw once again that his Jenny was an incredibly attractive personality who didn't need to conceal anything with makeup or overpriced clothes. She was naturally beautiful and her hearty laugh outshone everything.

When she saw him, she threw him an air kiss and hooked up comfortably with Sylvie. And since Richard had done the same on Sylvie's other side, a so-called sandwich came his way. He grinned. "Well you crazy people? Did you buy out Milan?"

They were all talking in confusion and Paul didn't understand anything anymore. "Stop!" he shouted, laughing loudly. "I don't understand anything. Let's take it in order, please!" Then he let himself be pulled along into the hotel and noisily they continued to drool until they arrived in the elevator and then in their respective rooms. What a bunch!

*

In the meantime, Till had dressed up and taken a cab to Giacomo's restaurant. He was as excited as on his first date, which was now more than strange. After all, he was a seasoned man who had been through quite a bit in his life.

He paid the cab driver and walked leisurely towards the front door of the restaurant. Then he heard loud shouting from inside, and suddenly a door was slammed with caracho. Oha, there it was again, the famous Italian temperament. He grinned to himself and pushed down the handle of the front door. But he had to duck, because just at that moment a plate flew at him, which he just managed to dodge.

"Isabella, cosa c'è che non va? Mi spiego...", Giacomo's deep voice was heard from the back of the restaurant, but it was interrupted by Isabella's voice. They both hadn't noticed Till yet and were bickering like tinkers.

"No, papà, non puoi farlo. Non sono un oggetto che si può vendere così. Chi pensi di essere? Mi sento come se fossi nella mafia!" Now Isabella stormed past Till as if chased by the devil himself and was about to run to her father when she stopped in mid-motion.

"Till, what are you doing here?" she addressed him perplexed and breathless in broken German. At that, her brown eyes flashed aggressively. She wiped her hands sheepishly on her apron. "Papà, non crederai mai a chi c'è qui in questo momento. Venite qui, presto!" she called loudly to the back, and then the tall and massive figure of Giacomo appeared in the doorway to the back of the cozy restaurant.

"Till, amico mio, è un piacere vederti!" With that, he ran with quick steps in Till's direction and hugged him tightly. That such a colossus of a man could run so fast was amazing. He gave Till an affectionate hug and pushed him off him again so he could look at him closely. "You look weary, my friend. Come, sit down. I'll have something small prepared in the kitchen!" With that, he pushed Till onto the nearest chair and wobbled away toward the kitchen.

Isabella had been standing by the whole time, but now life came back to her. "I'll be right back!" With that, she rushed off, skirts billowing, up the stairs.

Till shook his head in amusement. This was going to be fun. But he was also looking forward to the evening - and of course to the night.

*

"You can't be serious!" Paul sat next to his Jenny with mixed feelings and looked at the small package from the jewelry store. "You're not supposed to buy me anything. I'm glad you're here. I have everything I need. Why don't you keep your dough to yourself?" He pulled her affectionately close to him. His little girl really didn't have that much, and now she was giving him presents, and from one of the most famous jewelers in Milan. That really didn't have to be the case.

"Paul, please, calm down. I didn't pay for this at all. It was just supposed to be a little gift." She squirmed on her butt and lovingly stroked Paul's hand.

"Excuse me? Don't tell me Richard paid for that? He's out of his mind, isn't he?" He would have liked to stamp his feet. They had sworn not to give each other anything, they both had enough money. But once again, Mr. Kruspe couldn't hear them. Paul blushed, he was incredibly embarrassed.

"Honey, that's okay, Richard was just trying to be nice."

Paul stood up, annoyed. "Nice, the little sister of shitty? Richard and I swore we wouldn't give each other anything, but no, the good guy can't help himself." Sometimes he could shoot Richard anywhere else, even though he loved him to death, this crazy guy.

"Come on, Paul, sit back down and unpack it. I'm so anxious to hear what you have to say about this," Jenny begged him. He looked at her out of teary eyes because he thought it was all so cute again, his girlfriend had bought him something that his friend had paid for. No wonder his eyes got wet. Everything totally confused and crazy. But also beautiful. He wondered if he had really become such a crybaby lately. And again and again, why he had deserved all this.

Carefully, he removed the bow around the delicate paper and opened the small box. Curious, he peeked inside and plopped down in the back. "A string of pearls? Um..." He didn't know what to say to that at first.

"You don't like it? Oh, I knew you wouldn't. You're not into that kind of thing." She looked at him, startled, but Paul reassured her.

"No, no, that's okay, but how do you come up with something like that? I mean, a pearl necklace is more for grandmas, or do you think I look like a grandpa and then you could..." He did not get any further, because Jenny had snuggled up close to him and now closed his mouth with a tender kiss. He made big eyes and together they let themselves fall into the kiss.

"You might be one to me..." He grinned as they released the kiss. He carefully took the necklace out of the small box and Jenny tied it around him. He stood up and looked at himself in the large mirror. "Hmm, that seems kind of funny, but also kind of totally off. And that's exactly what I like, isn't it? What not everyone has." He spun around like he was modeling for something else, grinned dirtily, and decided to keep the chain around his neck - for now. "And why did you buy that anyway?" Paul didn't let up.

"Well, after all, it's your birthday in two weeks, and since I couldn't wait, I figured..." Her courage left her and she sank down into herself

"Oh little one, that's so sweet of you. I don't need anything after all, I have everything I could want." He sat down with his girlfriend again and held her tightly.

"Yes, but Richard paid for it. I just wanted to contribute something, too. And now?" Jenny straightened up again, but Paul shook his head.

"You know, kiddo, none of that matters. Whether Richard bought and paid for it or you did, the important thing is that you're with me and not giving up on us after the whole thing that went down with Richard. I'm so grateful for that, you wouldn't believe it."

He looked at her directly and openly. She smiled. Jenny still couldn't quite understand how she loved this man. He was just unique - in every way, even if he was totally nuts. He was hers, at least half of him, she thought strained, but Paul, as always, took away her doubts by approaching her with searching hands and grabbing her under her T-shirt, just like that, without shame....

"Hey, what's it gonna be when it's done?" she also asked right away.

"Let's surprise you!" Then he pulled Jenny up with him and over to the big double bed....

*

Meanwhile, in Giacomo's restaurant, the mood was boisterous. Other regulars had arrived, some of whom Till knew. But he only had eyes for one this evening - namely Isabella. In the meantime, she had put on something else and looked outrageously good. The floor-length black dress fit like a glove and emphasized all her curves, and she had plenty of them.

Next to him sat Giacomo, who of course took his time with his special guest, texting him. Till talked about the last tour and the current one, about experiences outside and inside the band, about his worries with his daughter, who now wanted to marry the man he detested after all and was living in his house in Mecklenburg, of all places.

And of course he was worried about Richard and Paul, how it would go on with their so-called love triangle. He didn't tell Giacomo anything about that, of course, but working it all out on his own wasn't really Till's thing. He could do that with a lot of things, but on this subject he was oversensitive, because he was constantly afraid that it would break up the band, their collective, which had worked so well for decades, even if they didn't always agree and had reached their limits often enough in the past.

Suddenly Isabella came up to him and pulled him along, because one of her favorite songs was playing. Till was not the dancer par excellence, but he went along with her. There were already other couples on the small dance floor and Isabella immediately wrapped an arm around him and pressed herself tightly against him. He held her close and tried to keep up with her. He looked helplessly over at Giacomo, but he just laughed and gave both thumbs up. After the song ended, Isabella just pulled him along with her, up the stairs. Oha, now it was getting interesting. She pulled him into one of the guest rooms, which were above the restaurant, and locked the door behind her. Till stood indecisively in the small room, but he could not resist her temper.

"Non puoi immaginare quanto tempo ti ho aspettato, mio grande uomo forte.", she breathed towards him and started to unbutton his shirt. Till was very impressed by so much commitment. Usually it was he who first had to "open up" the ladies, so to speak, so that he could reach his goal. Here he let everything happen to him and just enjoyed.

"Ti voglio adesso."

With that it was clear what would happen right here now. His whole body was tingling and he let himself fall... he knew he wanted her, right from the start, and he was more than ready for this Italian beauty who was now very slowly tugging at his jeans. With one tug, she pulled the offending pants off his legs and sank her hand into his boxers. Till held on to the doorpost and put his head back against the wall....

*

Richard stood indecisively in front of Paul's hotel room, not knowing whether to knock or not. After all, his girlfriend was there and if he disturbed now, it wasn't so great for them all. He chose the easier way and sent Paul a WhatsApp. Sylvie had been totally tired from the whole shopping trip and just wanted to sleep. But he did want to get rid of the little present he had bought Paul. I wonder what he would say about it. Actually, the whole thing was supposed to be a birthday present, but Paul's birthday wasn't for another 2 weeks and Richard couldn't and wouldn't wait any longer.

His cell phone buzzed and he looked at it: "Hey, what's so important?", came only briefly from Paul. Well, at least something. Richard had gone back to the hotel lobby in the meantime, he answered Paul briefly and ordered himself a white wine. He waited for him and just typed "I'll be in the lobby, then I'll tell you!". Richard was curious whether his Paul would really appear. And especially whether he would show up alone or with Jenny.

Richard didn't have to wait long, curiosity had driven Paul of course, it was so clear. He knew his colleague. He dropped down next to him on the comfortable sofa and stretched his legs.

"So, what's so urgent?", Paul started, but Richard stood up, took his wine and simply pulled Paul with him onto the terrace. "What, what is it? Are you in that much of a hurry?" Paul grinned to himself as he stumbled along behind him.

They went to the hotel's own little park so they could be undisturbed. Paul loved adventure, so of course he went along. They sat down on a small bench that was somewhat sheltered behind small trees.

"I bought you something that was supposed to be a birthday present, but I couldn't wait." With that, Richard pulled the small box out of his pants pocket and solemnly handed it to the rhythm guitarist. Paul looked at him in shame, blushing increasingly in the diffused light of the small lanterns.

"Oh God, not you too..." he began, and with trembling hands took the small box in his hands. It was in dark blue velvet. Richard looked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?" Paul looked directly at him.

"Well, my little girl already gave me something today, too. Did I miss something that you all gave me?" He grinned his Paul grin.

"Um, no you didn't. But actually Jenny wanted to give you this for your birthday first."

"Yeah, I know, and you plum paid for it, too. Gee, Richard, we agreed not to get each other anything else, or have you already forgotten?", Paul justified himself, but Richard brushed his concerns aside by putting his index finger over his mouth.

"Not now, Paulchen. Mine's a birthday present too, I couldn't wait either." At that, his eyes fell on the pearl necklace that was around Paul's neck. He started to snort. "But hey, it suits you, dressed up like a grandma!" he couldn't help himself and of course caught a poke from Paul.

"Are you still there? I find the chain not so bad. It's something different, and Jenny said that a lot of guys are wearing it nowadays, simply because it's all the rage at the moment. So!" He wiggled his eyebrows smugly.

"Last cry really hits the spot. If you show yourself like that in front of our fans, then they don't know what to do with themselves. You really can't do that, Paul, after all we have a reputation to lose!" Richard sat up straight.

"Yes, no, it's clear. I couldn't care less, you wouldn't believe it. I'll make you a deal. If everyone thinks this sucks, I'll never say anything about your painted nails again." Paul nodded affirmatively to his words.

"My painted nails? Since when do you find that shit? You're the one who encouraged me to do it in the first place, can't you remember?" Richard didn't understand his friend at all.

"Yes, I did. But only because you kept nagging me if you could wear it. And I never mentioned red nails. Black is okay, but red? Hmm... I don't know." He looked at the small box and then back at Richard.

"Well, open it already, you're driving me crazy!" Richard was getting impatient.

"Okay, but you're not supposed to-" Paul started again, but Richard just shook his head.

"That's enough, Paulchen. Open up! Now!" He could no longer control himself. He was so anxious to hear what Paul would say about his little gift, he was almost bursting with impatience himself.

"Oh, Reesh..." Paul's gaze softened when he saw the silver ring lying in the small box. He twisted and turned it, and as he did, he saw that there was something engraved in the ring "I love you. R."

Paul was in tears, such a beautiful thing from the man he loved. "I don't even know what to say. You're really crazy!" Paul sniffled.

Richard took the ring from him and slipped it over Paul's left ring finger. Then he looked at Paul's beautiful hands, which were strong on the one hand, but totally delicate on the other.

"Looks good!" Then he gave him a kiss on the temple, but Paul pulled him close and searched his lips like a drowning man. He was so lost in emotion, he really couldn't believe it. First his sweetheart, who had given him this great necklace and whom he had more than thanked by spoiling her to the hilt, and then Richard, who topped everything with his gift.

He pressed himself very close to him and noticed that Richard was anything but cold. Gently, he pushed Paul a little away from him. "Not here, Paulchen, too many people!" He finished his wine glass, left it carelessly beside the bench, and pulled him with him toward the hotel.

"We need another room for one of our technicians who just arrived today," Richard just said snottily to the pretty little woman at the front desk. She nodded, looked at her computer and asked for the person's name. Richard made up some name and took the key card for the "technician."

Paul had to stifle a laugh. Since they both couldn't go to their hotel rooms because that's where their girlfriends were, they had to get out of the way to spend time together in a way that no one who didn't know about it would notice.

Head held high, Richard booted ahead of Paul to press the elevator button. 'He's got a horny ass, too!", Paul thought to himself as he trotted along behind Richard. The room for the supposed technician was on the top floor. They were lucky, it was the last room down the hall.

Richard professionally unlocked the door, nudged Paul lightly so they both disappeared into the room. He hung the sign with the do-not-disturb saying outside on the handle and locked it from the inside. Now they were finally undisturbed.

Chapter Text

Naked as God created him, Till lay on the wide bed. He had had an incredible night and even experienced things that he had never been allowed to enjoy like this before. If he did not know it exactly, one could think Isabella works as a professional. As many times as he had gotten his money's worth this night, literally, it was no wonder that he lay there as if shot, looking transfigured before him.

And when the bathroom door opened and Isabella came out naked, he could only marvel at what a perfect body she had. She dressed very slowly, always looking at him, and smiling. Lazily, Till looked at the small alarm clock that stood on the rustic nightstand next to the bed. Half past nine. He was hungry, no wonder, after that night.

"Well, handsome man. Are you hungry?" she addressed him. She finished dressing and sat down next to him. As she did so, she caressed his broad chest and kissed him lovingly.

Till grumbled to himself, he didn't feel like getting up at all. There was another concert tonight and tomorrow. After that he was going to France. And he didn't know when he would see them again.

"Sarebbe bello se poteste rimanere." She looked sad and Till was not left cold by all this either. After all, he always had playmates in the various cities where they performed, but Isabella was something very special. He would have loved to pack her up and take her with him to France and then to Germany. But unfortunately that wasn't possible, and that's what made him kind of sentimental. It could be that he had fallen in love a little bit. He wiped his face. It was no use, they had to go through with it. He forced himself to stand up and disappeared into the bathroom.

After a long shower, he got dressed thoughtfully. Isabella had already disappeared downstairs. He packed his clothes and left the shared bedroom.

In the dining room of the restaurant, which at this hour was still closed to the general public, Giacomo and Isabella sat and ate breakfast. Till stood by somewhat indecisively, but Giacomo stood up, pushing the big man down on the chair next to him. "Please, my friend, it's all here, help yourself!" With that, he nodded, and Till just glanced briefly at Isabella.

It almost tore his heart, she looked as sad as he felt. He couldn't eat anything, even though he was ravenously hungry. It choked his throat. So he drank only a small espresso and chewed unenthusiastically on a fig.

"What's the matter, Till? Not hungry?" Giacomo knew exactly what was going on between him and his daughter, he wasn't stupid after all. And he could tell by the look on Till's face that none of this left him cold. "Okay, okay, I get it. Listen, you two, either you get it over with or it's still a hanky-panky, as they say with you." With that, the matter was settled for him and he discreetly retreated to the kitchen.

Till now moved up to Isabella and took her small hands in his large ones. "I don't want to lose you, Isa, you hear. But you know my job, too. I'm always on the road. How is all this going to work out?" He looked straight into her beautiful big brown eyes, where a single tear was just saying goodbye to the south.

"Mia cara, non lo so nemmeno io, ma forse possiamo provare." She squeezed his hand. "If you want too..."

Till's heart leapt. "I won't kid you, I haven't always been faithful in my acquaintances." he tried to get out of it a little, but he couldn't meet her gaze. Should he really dare? His father had always said, cobbler stick to your last.

"I know that, Till. But maybe we both have a chance after all. We can try, can't we?" She kissed his fingers and he pulled her close to him. He had been more of a driven man his whole life. He had married once and had also fathered children, but a real committed relationship? When he thought about the disaster with Sophia, he felt sick.

He was really afraid of getting involved in anything closer. Could a long-distance relationship that spanned two countries work out? Did he really want that? He wasn't so sure about that. "What do you think about visiting me when I'm back in Berlin. For Christmas, maybe?" he tried cautiously.

She looked at him, startled. "Per Natale? In quel momento mio padre mi stacca la testa. Il Natale è famiglia, è quando si è a casa con i propri cari."

Crap, he hadn't thought of that. "Hmm, that's right. What if I come to your place instead?"

"Oh, Till, you'll really have to ask Papa. I can't decide that so easily." She stood up and called loudly for her father. "Papà, vieni un attimo da noi, vogliamo chiederti una cosa."

Giacomo then booted back into his restaurant in a good mood, sat down next to Till, and looked at them both expectantly.

*

After a sweaty night, the two guitarists still didn't want to be without each other and both realized that lust was still not really satisfied.

Paul and Richard had had to make it clear to their girlfriends that they should do without them for one night, because they needed some time for themselves. Jenny had been a little sad about it and Sylvie had been very quiet too. But then they had grabbed two men from their crew and went to the "Magazzini Generali", one of the in-clubs of Milan. The place was internationally known and Richard and Paul hoped that Michael and Andreas from the crew could distract them well.

Now Richard leaned over Paul and with agonizing slowness pulled his boxers off his legs. Paul leaned further back into the soft cushions and grinned wickedly at Richard from below.

"You're so beautiful, Paulchen..." Richard slowly crawled up to him and lay down beside him. As he did so, he tenderly stroked his chest and let his tongue circle around his stiff nipples. Paul laid his head back and moaned with pleasure. His whole body was tingling with tension, he was so ready for Richard again. This man was addictive, he wanted more and more. Inwardly he shook his head at himself, never would he have thought this.

Richard was now slowly kissing his way south from his belly, not stopping to stroke Paul. Paul's best bit had already grown a bit, and before he knew it he was in Richard's mouth. Richard greedily licked the first drops from his wet glans, making slight smacking noises that totally turned Paul on. If Richard continued like this, the whole thing would be over sooner than either of them would have liked.

"Stop, stop, not so greedy..." he pressed out and pulled Richard up a little. As he did so, he lovingly kissed Richard's full lips and then pulled him all over himself.

"What?" mumbled a dazed Richard to himself. He snuggled up close to Paul. "Mmmmh, you smell good. What's that? New?" At that he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Don't you know it? Obsession. Had me going again." He smiled pensively and kissed Richard on his shaggy hair. As he did so, he squirmed under him, realizing that he was getting pretty hard, too.

"Uh-huh, yummy." Richard held him tightly. "Now don't wriggle like that, it's exhausting." He lay down next to Paul and somewhat awkwardly took off his pants. As God had created him, he stretched out next to Paul and stared out the large window, lost in thought.

Paul leaned over and turned his face to him. "What's the matter with you? You're so quiet all of a sudden!" he tried to unravel for Richard. As he did so, he saw that a small trail of tears ran down his cheek. Paul was totally shocked, had he done something wrong? Very gently, he kissed Richard's tears away and licked lightly over his sweet little nose.

"You know, Paul, I've been thinking about us for a long time again. About everything, about you, me and of course our girls. Do you really think we can manage it all? Even when we're back in Germany?" Richard looked at Paul thoughtfully and furtively wiped the tears from his cheek that wouldn't stop flowing from his eyes. "The two girls live in another city and we both live in Berlin. I could really imagine that the two already react a bit jealous somewhere, since they can not always be on site. That's definitely not so easy in the long run. In any case, not as easy as when you live a few streets away and we can see each other virtually all the time." He closed his eyes.

Paul snuggled even closer to him now, almost crawling into Richard. "That's right, you can't deny that. But, if we all make an effort, we'll get it done, definitely." With that, he stroked Richard's chest again, which was rising and falling excitedly, and now bent over him again to teasingly bite his little nipples.

"Ouch, say...", Richard started to playfully scold him, but Paul was not deterred. He wanted him, now and here, he was happy with Richard and now finally had no qualms about acting out his homosexual side as well, since Jenny had apparently made her peace with it as well. At least that's what he hoped. He let his right hand wander further over Richard's chest and then over his belly, tickling him a bit and kissing his way further down.

At the same time he thought about the small gift from Richard, how sweet of him to give him such a piece of jewelry, especially with the engraving. I love you. R.' Richard had had engraved. He traced small circles over Richard's body and had now finally arrived at his pleasure center. Light as a feather, his hand stroked Richard's member, which was becoming increasingly hard. He grinned. How he loved this person, he still could not really put into words. And that after such a long time. After all these problems he'd been having lately, starting with Arielle and her leaving their life together.

Suddenly his phone rang - as if on order.

No, he didn't feel like being interrupted now, when everything was so nice just now. He tried to ignore the ringtone, but Richard suddenly sat up.

"Aren't you going to answer it, maybe it's important?" he reminded him.

Paul pulled his eyes up in strain and annoyance. "Nah, I can call back later." With that, he wanted to move on to the beautiful man below him, but it didn't and wouldn't stop ringing. "Okay, okay, you pain in the ass." He slid down from Richard and fished on the nightstand for the small phone. At that moment it had stopped ringing. Of course it did! Paul looked back and forth between the phone and Richard, annoyed.

"Great. It's just like always." Strained, he looked at the small display. His little girl had been trying to reach him. Oh man, he hadn't checked in with his kids in ages. But this moment in time was anything but right for a father-child conversation. He sent her and Emil a WhatsApp that he would be in touch tomorrow morning. Satisfied, he put the phone back on the nightstand to turn his attention to the much nicer part, which was currently lolling in the big bed in the form of Richard.

Paul looked down at him from above, enjoying the beautiful sight. "Well, now. Now nothing can distract me from you." With that he crawled back onto the bed and was about to continue the tour he had started over Richard's body, but Richard spun them both around and put his index finger on Paul's mouth.

"Sssh, it's quiet now, Paulchen. Let me pleasure you!" Paul looked at him challengingly and lay back. Richard stroked his way south along his sides, spreading Paul's legs slightly. He kissed his way along the insides of Paul's thighs and a little sigh escaped him now and then.

"Oh Richard, oh...." That was as far as he got, because Richard was on him in a flash, pressing his lips greedily to Paul's mouth. He clasped his face with both hands and licked tenderly over his lips. Paul's mouth was open a bit and so Richard could easily penetrate his mouth and spoil his tongue. He smacked his lips lightly and Paul started to gurgle.

Richard pulled back and looked at him in amazement. "Ey...", Richard went on, but Paul couldn't stifle his laughter anymore.

"Sorry, but I ..." He couldn't stay serious.

Richard slapped him lightly on his chest. "You're impossible, Paul Landers, but really ey!" He rested his head on Paul's chest and took a deep breath.

Then he stood up and fished in his clothes for a cigarette. He awkwardly put his boxers back on and went out on the balcony to smoke. He inhaled the smoke with pleasure and exhaled it again.

Paul slowly followed him, but it was cold as hell outside. Shivering, he stood next to his friend. "Say, aren't you cold?" He fumbled from one leg to the other and held onto Richard's arm.

Richard looked down at him. He stroked his short hair lightly. He was so glad he had him. He quickly finished his smoke and flicked his cigarette into the small ashtray that sat on the balcony table.

"Okay." he breathed. "Let's go inside. You're cold all over, you really need something done about that." He grinned at him and arm in arm the two walked back into the warm hotel room.

... at that moment the doorbell rang again, this time it was Richard's cell phone. He let go of Paul to answer it, but this time it was Paul who took the phone from his hand and directed him towards the bed.

"Now that's enough of the distractions. Now all I want is you, beautiful man." He pushed him down on the bed and sat astride Richard. And he picked up right where they had been interrupted. He kissed his way across his chest and stomach, taking Richard's boxers off again.

Richard had both hands on Paul's butt and was kneading the latter's tight little ass excitedly. Why was he excited, anyway? It was just Paul and he knew him inside out by now. But every time they were both intimate, Richard was as excited as the very first time they had sex. Unbelievable what this man was doing to him.

"You're wearing too much, my Paulchen!", Richard breathed towards him and put both arms around the smaller man so that he could turn him around again. But Paul did not let himself be turned around. He awkwardly took off his trousers and sat down exactly where he had been sitting before - on top of Richard.

He bent down and kissed him passionately. His hands had taken on a life of their own and were excitedly rubbing up and down Richard's hardening erection. The latter now bent backwards and moved Paul a little on top of him. Gently, Paul alternately squeezed and stroked Richard's length and testicles. All the while he moved on top of him and kissed his way down Richard's face and neck.

"Paul, ah, I can't take any more..." Richard licked his own lips and put both hands on Paul's hips. And Paul directed Richard's cock right to his entrance. "Wait, not without lube, handsome!" Richard knew no pardon then, he didn't want to hurt Paul, even though he knew Paul liked it a little harder.

Paul pulled his eyes up, actually he didn't want to wait now, but Richard fished next to him to the small tube with the cool gel. Hastily he unscrewed it and spread a generous amount on his hardness and at Paul's entrance. Then he threw the small tube carelessly aside.

Paul lay back now and spread his legs. Okay, he wanted it that way, just as well, Richard thought to himself. He grabbed himself and rubbed his stiff cock a little over Paul's entrance. Then he sank one and immediately after that a second and third finger inside him, widening it. And again and again he rubbed his hardness vigorously over Paul's inner most sensitive spot, and each time Paul gasped.

"Come on now!", Paul hissed at Richard. He looked at him sternly and Richard very slowly and carefully sank himself into that incredible heat. He gave his friend time to get used to him and set a pretty relaxed rhythm, even though he was more than horny himself. Paul imperiously pulled Richard against him and came towards him with his hips. They had quickly found a common rhythm and were panting and moaning in unison.

Both were now already wet with sweat and Richard now fixed himself with both hands on Paul's hips. He was now thrusting into the smaller body quite roughly as Paul kept hissing and cheering him on to take it harder. Unbelievably, Paul was so different in bed than usual....

Richard was now licking over Paul's stiff nipples and kissing his way along his neck, trembling. He was now holding onto the insides of Paul's thighs, giving him another thrusting angle.

"Oh, Reesh.... Oh Rich..." Paul had been stimulating his own member more than frantically at the same time as he was being penetrated by Richard, and now he was squirting off, and an incredible amount, which was landing on him and Richard.

By Paul's muscle contractions, by his insides tightening around Richard's cock, Richard also climaxed after him and poured deep him Paul in a never ending gush. They hadn't used a condom, it occurred to Richard, scalding hot!

Exhausted, he collapsed on the smaller body, breathing heavily. Carefully, he pulled out of Paul. Paul had thrown his head back and was stroking Richard's back, breathing choppily. The latter lifted his head to look at Paul and then he saw that Paul was crying. Oh God, hopefully he hadn't hurt him too badly.

But Paul placated him. "It's all good. I'm just so happy..." That's all he could say for the time being, because Paul was completely exhausted. Sweat was running down both of them and they clung to each other like drowning men.

Richard rolled off Paul and looked up at the ceiling, breathing heavily. He couldn't say it any other way, sex with Paul was just awesome and so damn different than with his girlfriend. He never wanted to miss it again. He turned slightly to Paul, snuggled up to him and lightly kissed his stubbly cheek. "I love you, Paulchen. So much!"

Paul looked at him lovingly. "Well, I love you too, Reesh, absolutely!" He pulled him close, looking at the big clock hanging over the front door. "Oh shit, when do we have to leave again? Shouldn't we be at the stadium by four?" Richard also looked at the clock, it was now shortly after one and they still had to the interview before the concert with the local press. Of course, like the others, neither of them had any desire to do that, but there was no other way. They had not been in Italy for a long time and therefore unfortunately had to answer questions today.

Hectically, the two got up from bed and dashed as if stung by a tarantula into the shower...

Chapter Text

"Yaaa, oh yaaa." Till was completely flattened by Isabella, who was still spoiling him. They were in his hotel room now and he was writhing in ecstasy under this Italian beauty. She was riding him quite purposefully and he was now throwing his head back as he came quite violently inside her. She lay on top of him as he pulled out of her and just stayed on top of him exhausted.

"Il mio bellissimo omone. Come faccio a cavarmela senza di te?" she breathed softly and immediately after in German, how on earth was she going to manage without him. He hummed softly. She would also join him on the rest of the tour, meaning two concerts here in Milan and then on to France, and then travel with him directly to Berlin.

He was looking forward to it, had arranged everything with Giacomo. They would be in Italy for Christmas. That was also great, so he was not alone. The Rammstein Christmas party would be supplemented this year by three females, but two of the women who had always belonged to it for years as a matter of course were no longer there - Arielle and Ulrike. Very sad, Till thought. He had liked both of them very much.

He was also not quite sure how it would all work out with Paul and Richard's new girlfriends and with the two of them among themselves. After all, some of the crew members were invited to the Christmas party of their Rammstein cosmos, and they still didn't know anything about the fact that their two guitarists were now having an affair. They would make eyes - and that after all the years they already worked for Rammstein.

The singer grinned smugly to himself, haha, and then he would present his Isabella. Finally, he had found a woman again with whom it was worthwhile to do more and spend time than the constant one-night stands of him in recent years. He had had an incredible amount of sex lately, but these encounters were really only for one night, at most for a second - and yes, he had also let professionals in the respective countries get close to him. Sometimes even he had no other choice with all the stress.

And even if it always seemed as if Mr. Lindemann could choose the girls every night, no, he couldn't do that anymore. Partly they were really much too young for him, partly he didn't feel like it and often wanted to be all alone after the concerts - and meanwhile it was really weird that especially the young girls went for him, an old guy of almost 60. He had never been ashamed of anything, especially not in the sexual sphere, but he also realized that he was making himself increasingly ridiculous in such activities.

He lovingly stroked Isabella's back and tenderly kissed her hair. "Mi amore, I'm afraid I have to get up or the boys will start tonight without a singer." He tried to free himself from the embrace, but it was not so easy, because Isabella held him stoically.

"No, ti prego, non alzarti ancora, è così bello stare con te in questo momento, omone.", she sighed theatrically. Pah, big man, there were quite others, though, when he thought of Olli and also Schneider like that. "Isa, that's my job, you know that. We still have so much time and you're coming with us." He stroked her back again and pulled the covers a little higher over them both. "What do you say you start packing already, we'll be heading for France the day after tomorrow at the latest, huh?" He kissed her again, she gave a sighing sound.

"Okay, I guess that's what it's like to be with you then, isn't it?" She smiled sweetly at him and literally tortured herself from the shared camp. And then she took her things, threw him a kiss on the hand and silently disappeared into the bathroom. Till looked after her and was just incredibly happy for the first time in a long time.

*

Schneider sat paralyzed in his hotel room and was really close to tears. He had just received a call from Ulrike, who had told him coldly that she would never come back to him. His wife had always been a kind-hearted and above all totally empathetic person, but this phone call had been so routine and totally unreal that he couldn't cope with it at all.

He had withdrawn from the others in the last hours, he wanted to be alone, but this really blew everyone away. He didn't know how to deal with it at all. And there was a concert to play tonight, too. How was he supposed to get through that?

He thought of Paul, who had somehow managed to get through it, even though he had suffered like a dog for weeks - oh, months - after his Arielle had dumped him so callously. Paulchen - he still couldn't believe that this crying bundle of nerves suddenly had a girlfriend who was really unbelievable, and then had also started a relationship with Richard. Richard, of all people, was the ultimate devourer of women. How could all this have happened?

What was always meant as a joke and goodie for the fans, namely the stage kiss of the two to show the assholes of this world out there that homophobia didn't stand a chance with them, had triggered that the two suddenly had sex - and with each other. Two men he had always thought were really only into women - never would he have thought that the two of them would go to bed with each other. And that their relatively fresh relationships with their girlfriends would stand up to it.

He shook his head again in disbelief - and thought. Actually, he was acting just as much like a homophobic asshole towards the two of them. He had never really had a problem with gay men, nor lesbian women. Why should he? Everybody should do what he wanted in bed. Maybe it was so surreal to him because this involved, of all people, two of his best and longest friends and colleagues? He didn't know.

He had been ticked off when Richard had told him. And he felt that he definitely had to apologize to both of them, after all, they weren't hurting anyone by doing this when even their girlfriends were - or had to be - somewhat okay with it. Whether this so-called relationship of theirs would last was something neither of them knew, but perhaps that was precisely what made it so appealing.

Schneider pulled out his cell phone and dialed Richard's number. He had always understood him best, even if they hadn't always seen eye to eye. He let it ring for a long time, but Richard didn't answer. Hmm, now what?

He was startled when there was a sudden knock at his hotel room door. Sluggishly, Schneider stood up. In front of his door stood Flake, who strangely seemed to be in an ultra-good mood. Usually the keyboard player was introverted, but not today.

"Can I come in?" he asked, already packing his backpack. Schneider let him enter and slowly trotted after him.

Flake sat down. And looked at him expectantly. "What is it?" asked Schneider.

"Well, we'd have to get going. Do you know where the others are?" Schneider shook his head. Actually, they were supposed to be in front of the hotel at half past three to be driven to the stadium. But according to Flake, no one was in front of the hotel, and now it was already past three-thirty.

Flake pulled his eyes up, that was as usual. A bag of mosquitoes was shit against it. Actually, Till was always the one who rounded everyone up, but there was no sign of him either, which really surprised Flake a lot.

"And you're not done yet either. Gee, Schneider, we're getting old, aren't we?" He smiled to himself. He had been talking to his wife on the phone until recently and was looking forward like hell to being home, he was always glad when the tours were over and he could settle comfortably back into his beautiful apartment to do nothing for now except read, go for a walk and cook delicious food for himself and Jenny.

He also planned to write a new book, he had already collected some anecdotes and wrote them down in his little notebook. This band and everything that happened around it on tour was a spring that never stopped bubbling. He looked forward to it. No question, he loved his job and the band, and of course he loved being on stage, fooling around and watching this gigantic spectacle, but he also loved being in his so-called hood, where he knew everything and everyone and was just Christian Lorenz, the somewhat stuffy but all the more loving normal husband.

He looked at Schneider again and was shocked by his facial expression. "Oh, Schneider, what's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." Flake sat down next to the drummer and put an arm around him.

Schneider looked down at the floor, embarrassed. He didn't want pity, he was a grown man who mostly settled everything with himself, always had. But in this weak moment, he was glad that at least one was there. And Flake wasn't the worst listener. In fact, the best, because if anyone could keep something to himself, it was the gaunt man at the keys.

"Uli will never come back to me! That's what's up!" At this, he looked so gloomy that one could really feel sick if one knew the otherwise so straight and tall man. He sank more and more into himself and again furtively wiped his eyes, because of course his tears didn't want to flow at all. He shook his head and rubbed his hands on his pants.

"Please what? This can't be happening at all. Has the private investigator contacted you?" Flake couldn't believe any of this. Schneider's wife had been so in love with her drummer, they had been a model couple for decades, no scandals, nothing. Just like Paul with his Arielle. And now this? The dog in the frying pan could go crazy, first Paul got into such shit and now Schneider, too. None of this was normal.

"No, he didn't. Uli called herself and told me coldly that she didn't want anything more to do with me." He sniffled. "Flake, I really don't know how things are supposed to go on now. I mean, we're married, after all. What about the kids? I can't live without them, I can't handle all this." Flake was so shocked, it was all unbelievable. What were the women thinking, and above all, why these two, of all people, who had been more than tolerant and faithful - and that for years? Yes, they had been, that was exactly the emphasis. It was all very sad.

"Schneider, this is all really unbelievably violent. But, as sorry as I am about all this, we still have to go, or there won't be a concert in Milan tonight." He looked straight at him.

Schneider looked at him helplessly from those ice-blue eyes, drew up his tears once more, and stood up abruptly. "Okay, doesn't help! Then we should get going!" With that, he picked up his backpack and key card. Together, they walked briskly towards the lobby, where they hoped their colleagues were now finally.

*

The concert was over and there was a lot of excitement backstage. Nothing, but nothing at all had worked out tonight as the Rammsteiner were used to. Till had missed his cue several times, not to mention showing up at the stadium just in time. Very unusual for their frontman - and nobody knew why, and Till shrouded himself in mysterious silence.

Besides, Paul and Richard had had a huge fight about some riffs before the concert, again, and nobody wanted to give in, of course. But the stage kiss had turned out to be more than short today, Paul had also turned away, which was very unusual, even when the two had no relationship. And last but not least, Flake kept misplaying and the power Schneider usually wasted on the drums had been rather limp and very uncoordinated.

All in all, they were more the schoolboy combo today than Germany's most internationally known and successful metal faction. The mood was therefore more than depressed and very aggressive.

The only one who saw through to some extent and did his job normally and well was Olli. The big man, who rested in himself, and never any aggressive word came over his lips. This man now stood in the middle of the room, was the center of attention, which he never wanted to be, and reassured his friends, who were all chattering wildly.

"Just relax, guys! Sure, things went wrong today, but I hardly think our fans noticed." He took a coffee from the fully automatic machine and slowly sat down again. "Why do we have to keep arguing, anyway? At the end of the day, there have been a lot of happy faces in the first few rows. So please, what's the problem?" He sipped his hot coffee leisurely and looked expectantly around the room.

Paul, of course, was the first to get upset with Richard again, that he just didn't see fit to back down, especially when it came to the riffs.

But then Till stood up, put an arm around the smaller one and took the wind out of his sails, so to speak, which caused a liberated gasp from Richard, because he didn't want to argue with Paul, he loved him and this constant nagging about these stupid guitar riffs was so pointless, because it would still be done that way if EVERYONE had given their two cents, no matter what Paul said again.

Till moved into position and stood in front of them like a rock. "Okay, okay! I have something to tell you!" With that, he trilled slightly nervously from one leg to the other. And he grinned to himself. Everyone, without exception, including the technicians, was looking at him eagerly. Of course. Everyone was curious about what the master (not today) had to say.

"I think I'm in love!"

Chapter Text

"I knew it, even when he warbled so stupidly from the balcony. You know, he is so stupid, can't he even react normally? Like a normal person. No, with Lindemann everything always goes either wrong or way up. There is no in-between. No matter what the subject. It's such a pain in the ass." Paul could no longer contain himself. Flake put his arms around Paul in a friendly way. "Now stay solved, kid. You know Till, he's like that, always has been." Paul grumbled softly to himself.

They were sitting comfortably at breakfast, except for Till. The good guy was on his way to his sweetheart to help her carry her suitcase together with one of her drivers. Hopefully he would be back in time - there was another concert in Milan today.

"That you can't rely on the singer anymore either, is really heavy. It's happened before that he misses his cue while singing, but that he shows up so late and then also with a semi-stiff in tow, that's new. Man, man, man...", Paul continued to get worked up.

Richard had now joined in the conversation and smiled to himself. "Oh, come on, honey, you of all people should say that. How many times have you been walking around with a hard-on because you couldn't wait..." Richard snorted lightly and Paul turned red as a beetroot.

"That's something completely different. That's probably when I was horny for you or Jenny." Paul nodded his head in response.

"No, that was a long time ago, there was nothing going on with Jenny and me. Don't get it mixed up, my good man!" Richard gave Paul a little kiss on his left temple, at which Paul turned even redder and started fidgeting back and forth in his chair.

"Okay, okay. It's clear. Anyway, Lindemann is a pain in the ass right now. I mean, it's nice for him to have a flame again, but does he have to make such a fuss about it?" Paul was highly annoyed.... But his face brightened abruptly when Jenny entered the breakfast room together with Sylvie. He almost choked on his roll and Flake lightly patted him on the back. Gentleman-like, Paul stood up and moved the chairs back for the two ladies to sit down. Richard whistled softly through his teeth and grinned all over his face.

"Hello, beautiful woman. Long time no see!", Paul grinned and gave his girlfriend a little kiss. Richard did the same with Sylvie. Grinning with satisfaction, Paul looked from Jenny to Richard and back again. He was so happy that it was going well with their relationship as a threesome, or rather as a foursome.

*

Suddenly Till stood in the room with his new flame. Man, what an apparition. Everyone was speechless. Now that was a woman. She waved her arms impatiently and Till grinned from ear to ear. Well, if she didn't have her singer under control....

Till and his accomplishment took their seats and Till introduced them to everyone. "This is Isabella, my dears." He was proud as an oskar. She was greeted warmly by everyone. Man, but she also had a figure, madness. The men's tongues were hanging out at half past eight, so to speak. But the other two ladies had immediately taken Isabella in hand. They were probably very happy that they were no longer alone among all the crazy men.

"I'm going for a smoke!" With that, Richard got up and left the whole gang. Unbelievable what a beauty Till had dragged in. Italian women were generally beautiful creatures, but she was so racy and had a rack that a man just had to go weak - always assuming he was into women, which was the case with him, but he also loved his friend. Smiling to himself, he looked over at his colleague and realized that he would be happy to lay him now. Man, what thoughts he had again and that at the breakfast table.

Richard of course begrudged Till from the bottom of his heart that he had someone again. And she would ride with him for the rest of the tour. Well, there were only 4 concerts left, but at least she had impressed her singer so much that he even took her along.

He was sitting in front of the hotel, lost in thought, and noticed that someone sat down next to him. Paul - of course. Paul rested his head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Well, are you all right?" he began, stroking Richard's right arm affectionately. Richard looked to him and nodded slightly.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I think it's great that Till has someone again. He's been alone for a long time now. And this constant screwing around with some chicks isn't the real thing in the long run."

Paul nodded. "Sure. But it was the same with you for years." He lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss on Richard's neck.

"That's right. But with Sylvie it's completely different. And I don't even have to talk about the two of us. I think I've loved you for half my life." What a sweet declaration of love. Paul blushed and he realized that right now he would like to be all alone with Richard. "What time do we actually have to be at the stadium?" he also asked right away, grinning suggestively.

Richard looked at his watch. "About 4:00 p.m." He looked at him. "Why?" he asked innocently, grinning dirty because he knew exactly why Paul was asking that.

"I'm in such a mood, you wouldn't believe it." Paul got all jittery and slid around excitedly on his butt. Richard grinned some more and stubbed out his butt in the ashtray.

"What now? Um...", Richard started jerking around.

"Yeah sure now. The others are at breakfast, which I think will take a while. They have to deal with Lindemann's new flame first. We have all the time in the world." With that, he pulled Richard to his feet, hooked onto him and dragged him toward the elevator.

"Paul, where do you think you're going? We can't go to our rooms. If our two ladies suddenly get in there, it's cheese." Richard wasn't sure what Paul was up to.

"Let me worry about that. Come on!" He pushed the top button in the elevator and literally shoved Richard into the small car as it opened the doors in front of them. There was no one in the elevator, good thing.

When they got to the top, they were almost on the roof of the hotel.

"You don't want to fuck on the roof right now. That's way too cold. Nah, nah, I can't do that!" Richard shook his head and pulled his arms around himself.

"Reesh, I don't want to fuck on the roof." With that, he took a small key from his cloth jacket and continued to drag it with him. Near the end of the long hallway was a small door that said in three different languages that this was for staff only.

Paul unlocked the door quietly. Wherever he had gotten the key from, and especially what he had given as his reason, Richard didn't want to imagine at all. The little one again, always good for a surprise.

*

The small room turned out to be a storeroom for all sorts of things. But the good Mr. Landers had made provisions for whenever he still found time for it. In the room lay a mattress with a few blankets and pillows, on top of which Paul had decorated the whole thing a bit with tea lights and in the background soft music was playing from an old tape recorder.

"Say, you've thought of everything. You planned it all, you little rascal!" Richard grinned to himself, but Paul quietly locked the door from the inside. Then he turned to Richard and had that look on his face where his beautiful blue eyes were dark and his lust was reflected in them.

"Yes, I did." With that he pushed the taller man onto the mattress where Richard lay like a bug on his back. Paul hastily took off his jacket and immediately the T-shirt underneath and crawled on top of Richard. "Mmm, you smell good." He kissed Richard gently on his little nose and his hands automatically went under his black shirt.

Silently Paul sighed, because he was always so perplexed that this incredibly beautiful man put up with him, the little, already sometimes exhausting, but mostly loving guitarist. He still couldn't believe it. And he was crazy about him, addicted, to be exact.

But Richard pushed his hands away. Breathing heavily, he looked closely at his friend. "Hey, don't be in such a hurry, Paulchen. We've got all the time in the world. I want to enjoy you, and I want to do it slowly." He sat up and with trembling fingers unbuttoned one button of his shirt after the next. Lasciviously, he licked his lips.

Paul noticed that his crotch was getting incredibly tight. This man was driving him crazy. How had he not seen this all these years? He couldn't have been that blind. He would have loved to jump Richard right now, but he wanted it slowly. Well, that was fine, too.

Paul was about to crawl down from the mattress again, but Richard held him with one hand. "Stay here!" he almost hissed at him. Startled, Paul paused.

"But I wanted my pants...", Paul tried, but Richard shook his head decisively.

"No way, I'm taking YOU off. Slowly! Remember?" He grinned wickedly and quickly removed his shirt. Paul once again couldn't get enough of that broad chest with the little nipples and tiny hairs on it. He slid closer to Richard and reverently stroked his skin, which smelled of coconut.

"How I love you, I can't even put into words, Reesh!" he breathed almost tonelessly. "I'm sorry to say it too, with you it's so damn exciting. I don't get that excitement with my sweetie." He thought of his Jenny and, despite her consent, always had a guilty conscience when he was with Richard.

"Don't worry, Paulchen, it's no different for me. The bad conscience does not pass me by without a trace. But here and now there's only us!" And with that, he pulled the little one very close to him and pushed his tongue into his mouth in a demanding manner. Paul was just so incredibly sweet that he couldn't help it, even if he wanted to take it slow. Reluctantly, he interrupted their kiss and pulled his pants off his legs. Paul had already taken off his shoes at the door. Paul was now sitting in front of him in just his underpants.

And Richard saw that the first damp spots were already starting to appear in his pants. Also his best piece was - how would Schneider say - such a pleasant semi-hard-on. He grinned smugly and lay back to pull his pants off his legs. But again Paul did not allow that. He put a finger on his lips and very slowly undressed Richard. And he immediately took Richard's underpants with him. Richard kicked his boots off his legs himself. Now he lay like God created him in front of Paul.

"Man, what's going on with you? Nothing's happened in the lower region yet? I'll have to remedy that, won't I?" He bent over Richard's cock and slowly stroked his fingers up and down his shaft.

Richard put his head back and closed his eyes in surrender. What Paul was doing to him was just so beautiful and his desire for this man was growing immeasurably.

He was curious and looked into his lower region, which was now being worked on by Paul with his mouth. At the same time Paul's fingers played tenderly with his testicles and kneaded them. He let soft smacking sounds be heard and that made Richard incredibly hot. And again and again he let Richard's length slide out of his mouth again, only to take him tighter and deeper into his mouth again. He licked the first drops of pleasure from his glans, using an incredible amount of saliva, so that it looked like Richard had already come. This sight was so sexy that Richard clawed into the mattress. "Oooooh, Paul, oh yeaaa... oh..." He kept lightly thrusting his pelvis into Paul's mouth. But he also realized that it wouldn't be long before he would cum, so he tenderly pulled his friend up to him.

Paul kissed him and Richard tasted himself. "I love you so much." Richard could only croak, so caught up was he in his horniness. He took both his hands and turned both their bodies around so that he was now on top of Paul. Very slowly, he kissed his way down Paul's torso and very lightly bit into his nipples, which were sticking out at him stiff and large. When he reached his belly button, he hooked his fingers into his boxers and very slowly pulled down his pants. How beautiful Paul was, and most of all, how well-groomed.

"Please, please, Reesh, don't make me wait so long," Paul pleaded, squirming with pleasure beneath him. Suddenly he reached beside him and conjured up a small bottle of lube. Richard couldn't help smiling - the little guy had really thought of everything.

He took the small bottle and dripped some of the cool gel onto his fingers. Then he bent down to Paul again and kissed him lovingly. Meanwhile, he spread Paul's legs and slowly and tenderly stroked his entrance. As he did so, he kissed his way down Paul's torso again and let his tongue disappear into his belly button. Paul giggled and excitedly stroked Richard's back.

Richard now sank his index finger into Paul and kept running it over his inner pleasure spot, causing Paul to groan loudly and claw at Richard's back. Rhythmically he came towards him with his pelvis, but that was not enough. So Richard took one of the many pillows Paul had placed on the mattress with him, with his left hand, and placed it under Paul's bottom so that he had a better position and Richard could penetrate him more easily. Next he added his middle finger and widened Paul's entrance further.

Sharply Paul sucked in air, but not from pain, but from unbridled pleasure. And when Richard realized that Paul was more than ready for him, he took his hot throbbing hardness in his hands and agonizingly slowly pushed himself into the tight crack in Paul's butt, a gasp escaping him because it felt so so good and so right.

Tears of happiness ran down Richard's cheeks, and he kissed his way down Paul's temple, over the straight nose and sensuous mouth with the slightly rough lips, to his neck. Sublimely, he stroked Paul's tattoo and twirled his nipples a little harder, making Paul moan out loud again.

When he had sunk his entire length into the willing body beneath him and was holding onto Paul's thighs with both hands, he had to muster all his concentration to keep from thrusting into him fast and hard. Very slowly and evenly he slid into Paul over and over again, he wanted to bring him to climax with this slow rhythm, but just not fast and loveless.

Paul gasped and moaned, infecting Richard as well, of course. "Please, Reesh, go faster!" came from Paul, who had now clawed his hands into Richard's arms. Thus Richard pulled him even closer by the narrow hips and thrust harder now until he realized that everything was contracting in his lower abdomen. He knew he was about to go over the so-called cliff, but he wanted to delay his orgasm a little longer.

So he started working Paul's member with his left hand. Paul's cock quickly grew to its full size, and it was considerable, twitching expectantly towards him. It couldn't last long now, and although Paul kept pushing him, Richard stuck to a mixture of sliding in and out with feeling and a little harder. Both their bodies were wet with sweat from the exertion and Richard's heart was pounding at an incredible pace. He looked down at himself, watching in fascination as his darkened member disappeared over and over again into the soft flesh and small rosette, and the sight gave him the rest.

"Oooooh, Rich..... Aaaah, aaaah..." That was all Paul was capable of. With a yelp, Paul came violently, spurting his cum right onto Richard's chest. He himself poured hot and deep into Paul. And couldn't control his rhythmic fucking movements either, let alone let him, so he was still thrusting into Paul until he sank down on his friend with surrender. Both came back to breath only gradually.

"Stay inside me still, it's so nice right now!", Paul begged Richard and the latter nestled lovingly against his cheek. Richard could not describe how he loved Paul. He continued to cry with happiness and realized that Paul's cheeks were wet, too. His stubbled cheek rubbed a little against his.

But of course, since both of their cum was more than sticky, Richard very slowly withdrew from Paul's body and lay down next to him, completely exhausted. Paul bent over his friend and looked intently into his beautiful gray eyes. And every now and then a tear stole from them. "You are so beautiful, just when you come! You can't believe how it feels when you're inside me." He kissed him lovingly on the mouth and was just happy.

Richard smiled at him and looked furtively at his wristwatch - the only "piece of clothing" he still had on. It was now just after one in the afternoon, so there was still a little time to savor this incredibly beautiful and intense experience just a little bit more. He pulled Paul even closer to him and kissed him gently on his short hair.

"With you, sex is so different from with a woman. So much more intense. So much more emotional and sometimes so much harder. I never experienced that like that when I slept with a woman."

Richard found anyway that gay men had much more fun in bed than straight men, precisely because they could both be top or bottom, depending on their mood.

And he realized he couldn't do it without Paul. Anything could happen, but without Paul he would never want to live again, that at least was flawlessly certain for him. He hoped that Paul saw it the same way.

He looked at him fascinated, this pretty face with the laugh lines and the flashing eyes. Slowly he approached those lips and captured them with his teeth. Humming contentedly, he pushed his tongue deep into his mouth and went exploring again until they both ran out of air. He detached himself from Paul and looked at him attentively. His! No question about it!

He closed his eyelids contentedly and shortly after that he had also fallen asleep. Paul stroked Richard's chest even longer and knew that he never wanted to be without him again... slowly his eyes fell closed too....

Chapter Text

"Say, where are those two string torturers again?", Till just asked into the round, for the repeated time. Oh no, please not again. He had a suspicion. This number with the alleged technician, that had still made the rounds. The ideas that Mr Kruspe sometimes came up with were unbelievable. And all that just because they wanted to fuck in peace. But instead of taking a room as usual? No, why should they?

"I just saw those two disappear in the elevator earlier. Maybe they're out with their girls?", Schneider tried to take a little of the pressure off, even though he also figured the two were indulging their urges.

"Nah, they aren't. The girls disappeared with Isabella to the hotel's own boutique," Flake answered the question.

"Aha, see, I knew it. Oh shit..." Till plopped down in an armchair. "I really wonder how this is going to go on? I mean, these two are acting like teenagers who pupertarily take every opportunity to pop." He shook his head. But Flake reassured him.

"Till, now just stay relaxed. The two have just found each other, they are now living out everything they have suppressed for years. It can happen that they are constantly ratty to each other." He smiled knowingly to himself.

"Great. And now? Do we now have to constantly wait for the gentlemen to have finished popping when we have to go somewhere? This is going to be fun!" He waved his arms. "I mean, I'm no prude and all, but this? Why do gay men have to talk about and have sex all the time and everywhere?"

Now Schneider butted in again. "Wait, not gay, Till. Polyamorous!"

Till snorted. "Poly-what?" He looked at Schneider as if he were from Mars. Now he stood back up to walk around excitedly.

"Polyamor is what it's called! It's what you call it when someone is married and then has something else running alongside. Doesn't matter if it's male or female!", Schneider patiently enlightened him.

Till slapped his forehead with the flat of his hand. "Oh no, what a lot of things there are. It's getting better and better. And there's now a new description for every little thing. It's like gendering. Really. Who needs that crap?"

He looked around angrily, until suddenly both gentlemen, of whom they had just spoken, came towards them again, laughing and arm in arm, as if nothing had happened.

Till was about to puff himself up again, but Flake put a hand on his shoulder. "Till, leave it!" he whispered to him, and Till came right back down, too. Whenever Flake was around, he got right back in. It was the same with Olli, for example. He was glad that he had two such quiet people in the band. If they were all like him and the two guitarists, the shit would hit the fan all the time. Schneider was sometimes a bit hot-tempered, especially when it had something to do with his drums, but otherwise he was mostly chilled out.

"Well, what did we miss?" Paul started talking right away. He was in a great mood and held Richard's hand tightly in his. Richard was somehow embarrassed by the whole thing, and he blushed like he did in school when he had done something wrong.

"Nothing you missed. Everything's fine." Flake sipped briefly at his water glass and grinned conspiratorially. For this, Till was anything but amused, although Flake had boiled him down a bit.

He stepped up to the two and cleared his throat meaningfully. "So, next time you guys are going to take a so-called "time-out", please let me know beforehand. That's all I can think of at the moment, otherwise...." And with that, he wanted to boil up again, but Paul also put his hand reassuringly on his arm.

"Don't get upset, Till, I know what you mean. You're right, but somehow we were just horny." He lovingly broke away from Richard and dropped into the first chair he could find.

Till just pulled his eyes up. What a mess. Then he clapped his hands. "Okay, you whistles. It's a little after two now. We should be at the stadium by four at the latest. I'd say get changed and we'll be on the road around three-thirty. Everyone clear?"

Paul jumped up again and saluted him. Till playfully punched him in the arm. You could never stay mad at Paul for long, even if he could be a pain in the ass sometimes. Richard watched the whole thing with amusement and probably thought his piece. That meant he had over an hour to take care of Sylvie, whom he had been criminally neglecting lately. Likewise, Paul was off to see his girlfriend. Such a relationship with four people was not as easy as the two of them had thought.

*

"Dude, he can get nasty, too, good Till!" mused Paul, who was lying exhausted next to his Jenny. Having sex twice a day with different people was a bitch, no question about it. Although he felt like he could rip out trees, he wasn't twenty anymore. Right now, he felt more like he could fall asleep relaxed right now, with his sweetie in his arms, and not have to play a concert. But that wasn't possible, they had a job they all adored, so he had to get through it now.

Jenny smiled to herself. She had spent a lovely morning with Sylvie, who was becoming more and more of a real friend. And, of course, Isabella, whose temperament took some getting used to and who sometimes bubbled over. You couldn't tame this woman, you had to get a caliber like Till to do it.

She snuggled up to her Paul, who smelled so good at the moment, like sex, like a man, like a little aftershave and of course like Paul. How she loved him, she still couldn't really comprehend. Especially when she thought about how they had met. Under what circumstances. Paul then with that frustration that his wife had left him and she, who never had any luck with men and then got such a caliber. Of course, the whole story with Richard was not planned and by no means always easy, but she also liked him more and more every day, because she noticed that he did Paul so incredibly well, as no woman ever could.

It was something else when two men loved each other, as a woman you had no chance. Jenny had to accept the whole thing willy-nilly, and as long as she didn't have to watch them making love or exchanging any other kind of affection, everything was fine.

And yet she was naturally curious about what men experienced together in bed. For this reason, she was not at the concert of her favorite tonight, but together with Sylvie on the laptop "arranged". A good friend of Sylvie celebrated his birthday, but in Hamburg. This was also gay, had invited some people in a gay bar - and there ran a camera for a not quite legal porn channel - it had been provided, from the dark room to the cuddle corner was there everything.

Jenny was therefore totally excited and now had to tell Paul that she and Sylvie were not at the second concert in Milan tonight. Sylvie also had to tell Richard. That would not be easy, especially since the two could not really come out with the truth. Jenny had been racking her brains all day about what she should tell Paul. From headaches to no appetite or gastrointestinal problems, they had gone through it all, but none of it really worked - her men would see through her, no question.

So there was nothing left to do but come clean.

"Paul, I have to tell you something. And please, let me finish, I think it's going to blow your mind!" she began carefully, turning so that she could look her boyfriend directly in the beautiful face. Paul raised his eyebrows and sucked in a sharp breath.

Jenny flailed around, not knowing how to begin.

"So, kiddo, out with it. What's going on?", Paul tried to get her started.

Jenny was so embarrassed by this whole situation. Actually, she wouldn't have to do something like that; what Paul did with Richard was really none of her business, but curiosity won out, as it so often does with women.

"Sylvie and I won't be able to be at the concert today," she began meekly. At that, she squirmed like a worm and sat up stressed, but Paul pulled her back to him, stroked her dark curls and gave her a little kiss on the cheek.

"Uh-huh, okay, um... too bad. Why not?" He couldn't explain it, he actually thought that the girls would be at all the concerts of their almost finished tour.

"Well, God, I'm embarrassed... Sylvie and I wanted to..." That's as far as she got, because Paul put a finger to her lips.

"I see, sweetie. You two chicks want to be alone, have a chick night. No problem, I understand that. And I'm sure Richard does too." He grinned and waggled his eyebrows smugly, but Jenny broke free of his embrace and sat up again.

"Nah, Paul, there's something else. Not a normal girls' night out. Sylvie and I wanted, well we wanted..." Man, was that hard. She cleared her throat and started again. "... Well, we wanted to... oh shit everything." She got up annoyed, put on her robe and paced the room annoyed.

Paul came after her and lovingly put his arms around her waist from behind. "What did you want?" He turned her around to face him and looked at her intently. "Ha, I know, you want to see some stripper group, with undressing and stuff? Look at Jenny and the hot guys from the belly dancing troupe. I think that's good!" He waved it off and laughed.

"Nah, no strippers, no Chippendales or anything. More like the other direction...", she tried again. Paul's eyes were wide now.

"What, the other direction? What do you mean?" He was a bit curious now and couldn't make sense of Jenny's jerking around.

"Paul, Sylvie and I want to watch porn. So it's video chat, you know." Now it was out and Jenny turned tomato red. Paul let go of her instantly.

"Please what? You two want to watch porn? Um, why. Am I not enough for you?" He couldn't comprehend that at all. So, strictly speaking, it was nothing different than with Till on stage, who also performed pornographic treatises there, just with 'Bück dich' with Flake or with 'Pussy' on his oversized penis-foam-cannon. But Jenny and Sylvie - they really wanted to watch porn? Why? He was very puzzled about his girlfriend. "Tell me, is this all coming from Sylvie or why do you really want to watch such dirty stuff now?"

"That's exactly what the right person says. After all, you guys don't have anything to do with smut in your stage shows. Don't you?" She grinned cheekily at him. He pulled her close again and gave her a big smack on the mouth.

"Hey, don't get sassy, missy. It's all for show, I don't watch that kind of stuff in private, I'd rather do it myself." He licked his mouth and gave her another kiss, this time a more intense one. "I still don't get it, though. So please enlighten me. Why porn?"

"Well, actually, it's not a porno in the real sense, but... but..." She stuttered again. This wasn't going to work. She extricated herself from Paul's embrace again and tightened. "Well, all right, I'll start from the beginning. Sylvie's good friend Bernd's birthday is today. He's gay and invited some people to ne gay bar in Hamburg. And since Sylvie and I are super curious about what gay men are up to in bed, he's not quite legally running one or more cameras filming men having sex and other activities - what did he say? In the darkroom, in the cuddle corner, dancing. Something like that."

Paul was speechless. This couldn't be true. His sweetheart and Richard's new flame were going to be peeping toms, watching gay men have sex via cameras? This was really unbelievable. How did they come up with something like that? They could have asked him or Richard. Would have been the easiest thing to do. But they were probably embarrassed, because they had said in their so-called agreement that they didn't want to know anything about kisses and sex between them, let alone see it.

"You can't be serious now!" He dropped powerlessly onto the wide hotel bed. "Curiosity is one thing, but the fact that you have semi-legal cameras set up so that you can be there 'up close and personal' when the guys are doing it with each other in the gay bar, well, really. Jenny, I wouldn't have thought that of you. You could have asked me or Richard, we would have explained it to you." He shook his head.

"Yes, perhaps you would have explained, but seeing, my dear, is another matter altogether." She sat back down beside him on the bed and slowly stroked up his arm.

"Why are you chicks into sex between two guys? Does that turn you on somehow?" He still didn't understand.

"I don't know, I haven't tried it yet. But after tonight, I'll be able to tell you for sure." She had the upper hand again, and suddenly she wasn't embarrassed at all. Sylvie had agreed with Bernd that they would both watch via laptop, and each of the gentlemen who was there that evening and performed sexual acts in this bar knew that he was being filmed. So from that point of view it was okay.

*

Suddenly there was a thumping knock on the door and loud voices could be heard outside. Paul raised his eyes in annoyance, stood up and opened the door. An angry Richard came rushing in with Sylvie in tow, who he grabbed hard by the arm. Incensed, he slammed the door behind him.

"What's wrong with you people? Do you still have it all? Are you guys underfucked now or what's going on? This can't be happening!" he yelled, his face dark red with anger. "I guess you guys don't care what Paul and I do in bed, huh? So then what's all this talk about gay bar, birthday with cameras, darkroom and that's why you can't come to our concert? I think you are here because of us and not because you are watching porn on a fucking laptop in your hotel room to get off on it. You guys are the worst. Women! All the same."

He let go of Sylvie, who almost tripped, and angrily pulled open the balcony door to light a cigarette. He inhaled furiously and blew the smoke back out in a gush through his pretty little nose.

All three stared at him as he finished this stage-ready performance. And all three suddenly started laughing heartily, which in turn made Richard boil up again and he flicked the butt into the ashtray, annoyed, which he hadn't even smoked halfway. Like an avenging angel, he reentered the room and was about to reel back in when Paul pulled him close, hugged him and stroked him over the head. "It's all right now, Reesh. I just had the same issue too."

Richard actually calmed down and Paul led him to the sofa where he pressed him into the cushions, poured him a glass of water and handed it to him.

"Okay, okay. Well, I don't think it's that great either, but if they're curious, there's nothing you can do. And apparently it's all settled. Those guys know they're being filmed." Paul had leaned on Richard's thighs with his hands, looked directly at him and wiggled his head. Now Richard couldn't stay serious either, and the anger dissipated like a breath of summer wind. If anyone could soothe him, it had always been Paul.

"Good, yeah. So, I still don't think it's great. But if that's what it takes." He admitted defeat and still looked angry in front of him.

"Don't you think an apology would be in order now..." With that, Paul pointed at Sylvie, who was being squeezed like a heap of misery by Jenny. Richard looked at him in consternation, but Paul practically pushed him off the sofa. He slowly walked over to his girlfriend, who was completely distraught. Jenny let go of her so Richard could take care of her, which he thankfully did. He was so lucky that Sylvie was such a lovely person and forgave him, of course, as she had so many times before.

Paul grabbed Jenny. "Well, that's settled now, but we want to know everything that's been going on. Can you take the whole thing seriously?"

Jenny had no idea, but Sylvie nodded her head. "Sure, no problem."

"Well then we have something to watch after the concert. Maybe we can learn something else, huh?" Paul grinned again across his broad face, and that settled the matter for him, at least for the moment. This man was simply unbelievable. He always made the best out of even the shittiest situation. "So, Scholle, calm down. Everything will be fine. But slowly we should get going, you know, the good Till said, at half past three it starts."

"Yes, he said. So, see you soon." He looked at his watch. "In ten minutes." With that, he pulled his girlfriend along with him, this time without a huff, and Paul now closed the door quietly behind him.

"Y'all might be some chicks to me, but for real. The chicks are watching the gays having sex with their laptops. You can't tell anyone that either." He grabbed a towel and disappeared into the bathroom.

Jenny stayed behind, still excited. That had been hair-raising. When Richard had breezed into her room like a HB male, she had thought that was it - with everything.

But since she had the best man ever and this Richard completely in control, it had all turned out well once again. Well, sure, they didn't have to do that, but as already said, curiosity - nope, rather inquisitiveness had won out once again.

Since she had been with Paul, she had found herself in situations that she would never have expected in her life. She smiled to herself - if Kalle knew, he would no longer recognize her.

She now also looked at the large wall clock above the front door. There was still some time, so she might as well call her boss, he would definitely be happy to hear a sign of life from her. Besides, she wouldn't be on tour forever, there were still three concerts to go - and then the daily routine would start again. On the one hand, she was happy to have the opportunity to be with her sweetheart, but on the other hand, she kind of missed her job and everything that went with it.

Chapter Text

"Little girl, how nice to hear from you. How are you doing? And how is it with the Rammsteiners? Are they all nice to you?", Kalle babbled excitedly through the little earpiece. Jenny grinned and told her boss about the whole tour life, except that her boyfriend had a relationship with Richard. That was nobody's business outside the Rammstein bubble.

"Sure, everyone is totally nice and exciting about it all. You don't get to see everything that goes on behind the scenes at a concert like that. It's crazy what kind of effort they put into everything," she began to rave.

"And how is it with your sweetie?"

She cleared her throat and took a sip of water from the specially provided glass carafe as a precaution, so that she wouldn't get a dry throat when talking about Paul, because for her the whole situation was anything but normal and whether she could ever get used to sharing him, she still didn't know until now.

Besides, she was quite excited because of the upcoming video chat at Sylvie's buddy Bernd's birthday party. They were just spectators and no one could see them, but still. Whenever something below the belt came on TV, she was happy to watch alone. And this time Sylvie was there, who had established herself more and more as a friend in the last weeks, but still she was a stranger watching quite private things with her.

"Very nice, he's a great man. And I know he loves me very much and of course I love him too." came the rather matter-of-fact answer from her. She raised her eyes, but Kalle would not be Kalle, if he could not hear between the lines and there of course immediately asked.

"Ah, well that doesn't sound so in love now, my little one. What's going on? Did you have a fight?" He didn't let up, and since Jenny had more of a friendly relationship with her boss, she could squirm all she wanted, he would still notice.

"No, we didn't. It's just all a bit complicated," she tried to talk her way out of it.

"Complicated? Why? Jeez, girl, now don't let everything come out of your nose!", Kalle kept trying.

"Kalle, I can't tell you on the phone. I'll explain it to you when I get back, okay? It's already next week." That settled the issue for them for now, and Kalle was somewhat reassured.

"All right. If he's hurt you in any way, he'll have to deal with me, but you know that! Don't let him get to you, kid, and take care of yourself. So long." With that he hung up and Jenny was a little relieved. She put the small phone on the table - and at that moment Paul came out of the bathroom again.

"Well, how is it? Who did you talk to on the phone?" he also asked right away, putting on his stage clothes and struggling with a boot that didn't want to like him.

"With Kalle." she said simply.

"Oh what? Is he all right? He probably misses you to no end, huh?" He grinned and had now finally pulled both boots over both feet. She grinned smugly and stood up to hug him. She snuggled up to him and would have preferred to stay there, just the two of them embracing in the huge hotel room.

He gently stroked her back. "Alright, sweetie, I gotta go. I say, have fun watching the video. Dude, what ideas you guys have too." Then he gave her a pretty hot kiss and took his shoulder bag and room card. With an air kiss, he walked through the door and closed it quietly behind him. Whew, that was done for now.

Shortly after, there was a restrained knock at her door - Sylvie. "Are you coming over to my place? We're leaving in an hour." She grinned.

"Yeah, I still need to get into some comfy clothes. Be at your place in half an hour, okay?"

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit then. I've got wine and nibbles over at our place." Sylvie stomped off again. She had probably tried to call her; but since she had been on the phone with Kalle, the call had passed her by because she had deactivated the call waiting function in her cell phone. It annoyed her when she was on the phone and noticed that someone else wanted something from her.

*

"Sei un grande! Grazie per le due belle serate nel vostro bellissimo paese. Ci vediamo l'anno prossimo!"

Wow, Till had actually spoken in Italian the parting words of their two Milan concerts. Paul was impressed, as were the other band members. Isabella had probably drilled those three phrases into him until Till could recite them to him in his sleep. Paul grinned to himself. This temperamental beauty could definitely be trusted. Unlike Jenny and Sylvie, she was backstage, watching her Till very closely.

Now they all knelt down in front of their audience, as they always did at the end of their concerts, and humbly lowered their heads. When they got up again, Richard had quite a bit of trouble, because he had gotten caught in his long coat. Paul was next to him and was just able to catch him with his hand, otherwise Richard would have fallen. What a moment of shock again. Richard didn't make a face, he just pressed his lips together.

Now he stood like one, proudly walked his exit across the stage and bowed smiling to his fans. A rather dolled-up chick in the front row, who wasn't really wearing anything, screamed his name loudly and couldn't get her head around it. Richard winked at her, sent an air kiss into the audience and raised both arms upwards.

Paul knew this, but still it always gave him a jealous stab in the heart. He also smiled into the audience and then disappeared under the stage down the stairs. Richard quickly came after him and dropped his mask. He had twisted his knee a bit after all and told his assistant to have their physical therapist come take a look at his knee.

Paul hooked up with him and together they disappeared into Richard's dressing room.

"What's wrong with you? The knee again?"

Richard sat down on the small sofa with his face contorted in pain and Paul sat down next to him. He stroked his cheek and tenderly kissed his temple down to Richard's left ear.

"Ew, that tickles." Richard laughed, only to wince right back when there was a knock at the door. Paul sat down artfully beside him and Heiner, their house and court physiotherapist, came in. He carefully examined Richard's knee, but apparently he had only pulled it. He put some ointment on it and bandaged the knee. Then he gave him some more painkillers.

"How many concerts is that now?" he asked. Richard answered him. "Okay good. But after that I'll see you in my office. That's where I need to go again to make sure this is going to be good in the long run. Okay Richard?" When Richard just nodded and didn't answer, he asked again.

Richard looked at him annoyed, because of course he wanted to get back to the studio to work after the tour. "Yeah, okay."

Shaking his head, the man said goodbye again and left the small dressing room.

"Reesh, this is important. Then put your legs up in the studio or something. When we go on tour next year, you gotta be fit. You know we're going further overseas this time." Paul was worrying way too much again.

"Yes, Doc!", Richard then teased, and Paul gave him a little slap on his forearm.

"I still need you!" He looked at him doubtfully. He knew Richard, he always took it all very casually, but you didn't joke about something like that.

"Oh really? How much, huh?" At this Richard came closer and closer to him. Paul winced briefly.

"Richard, not here. Where someone can surprise us at any time."

"Then lock the door. Or don't you want me anymore?" Richard ran teasingly over Paul's crotch. Paul hastily disentangled himself from him, only to discover that the wardrobe had no key with which to lock it from the inside. Nor did it have a latch. He shrugged and had to admit defeat.

"Oh well, there are hotel rooms or some dark alcoves." Richard had that darkened look on his face again. Yet Paul's mind was on completely different things. He really wanted to know what their two friends had seen on video. They were probably still at it, he looked at his wristwatch. It was only 11:30 p.m.

"What do you say we get out of here and see what exciting things our two girls are up to at this Bernd's birthday party?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Richard grinned dirtily.

*

Sylvie and Jenny sat glued to the small laptop and couldn't believe what they were seeing. Some were doing it the hard way, and Jenny kept looking away in shame, because what this big tattooed guy was doing to his playmate had to hurt, there was no way around it. Besides, the guy who took him from behind was pretty well hung. Sylvie ate the chips one by one with excitement. And Jenny had already had her third glass of wine. Thank God Sylvie had taken precautions and got three bottles of wine. And the bags of chips piled up on the comfortable sofa.

Next, a fairly young male couple was in the process of orally pleasuring each other. They were incredibly gentle with each other and when it came to the extreme, a lot of lube was used as well. And this guy very slowly and carefully pushed himself into his sex partner, gently holding him by the hips. Also, both had decided to see each other having sex and not like the others, this both stood and the guy who had the active part only got to see his chosen one from behind.

All in all, most were quite affectionate with each other, although, as Bernd had told Sylvie, most saw each other for the first time ever on the latter's birthday and did it right away with each other. Well, the gay community was probably rather unconventional. And without exception, all did it with a condom, which Jenny found super exemplary.

The whole thing was exciting and exciting in any case, and Jenny knew very well that Paul would not get away with it tonight. She was pretty wet in her panties and she didn't think Sylvie felt any different. Oh my, the thoughts she had since she was with Paul. She grinned to herself.

They were so engrossed in the little laptop that they didn't notice their two masters come into the room. Turning to Richard, Paul put his fingers to his lips and quietly they crept into the hotel room, which wasn't so easy with Richard because he did limp a bit. They stood behind their friends and looked at the small screen as well.

And now a loud gasp filled the whole room. An incredibly handsome black-haired guy with a figure to kneel down on was just about to put his full lips around the cock of a rather rough guy, when Richard couldn't help himself and said snidely "Nah, really, with that guy? I'd rather not!" At this he slapped his mouth in surprise, but the two girls spun around in fright.

This whole scene was so absurd that everyone, without exception, started laughing heartily. Paul and Richard now joined them on the large and wide sofa and together they kept reaching into the large bowl of chips. Paul got up again to get a glass each for himself and Richard.

"There's no such thing. No, really. I think they all moonlight as porn stars." He laughed again, but Richard gave him a meaningful look, because what the one guy was doing right now with his partner on the screen, Paul had done the same with him this morning. But Jenny and Sylvie didn't need to know that. He grinned to himself and nodded his head in confirmation.

The whole video transmission didn't go on much longer. Exhausted, Sylvie hit the exit button after the "show" and turned off the laptop. She swayed her head back and forth in disbelief. "Is it all the same with you guys?" she couldn't help but ask the two gentlemen.

They both looked at each other knowingly and shook their heads at the same time. "We don't say anything, you know, agreement is agreement!" With that, at least for Paul, the subject was settled.

"But not even a little bit ...", Sylvie started again and Jenny looked interested, but the two didn't let her see their cards.

"No. No comment!" Richard did.

Jenny tightened up. "Okay, well then. I'm tired." She snuggled up to Paul, gently stroking his chest. "I think I have the right amount of bedtime now!" Paul nodded affectionately to her and they said goodbye to the other two.

As soon as they arrived in the other hotel room, Jenny locked the door from the inside and a stunned Paul was pulled more or less rabidly onto the big bed. She still had something planned for him and now she put it into action, whether he wanted it or not.

Silently Paul moaned as Jenny slowly pulled down his jeans and clawed into the bed sheets. His stage clothes were already in the wash and probably already on their way to France... and right now he was anything but sure whether he wanted Jenny right now or not Richard after all! A vicious circle.

Chapter Text

"Dad, what's going on with you guys? I'm worried, Emil hasn't heard from you in ages either. Please get in touch. Love you." Paul looked worriedly at the display of his cell phone. Yes, he knew he had forgotten to call Lilly back, there was too much going on in his world at the moment. And he had also criminally neglected Emil, even though he had promised him to take care of his latest project.

He stood indecisively in a new hotel room, they had just arrived in Nantes and Jenny was in the shower. So, the best opportunity to check in with his children. He dialed his daughter's number and waited, but unfortunately she didn't answer.

Hm, he tried Emil. "Heyhey, Dad, that you're still alive. What's going on with you guys? Lilly is driving me crazy, she calls me every half hour," came from the small receiver of an excited Emil.

Paul had a guilty conscience, also because Emil had just taken such loving care of Minni, whom he now didn't want to drag along on the tour. He missed his little dog very much. Arielle and he had bought her 2 years ago and never regretted it. She was from a Spanish dog rescue center and probably grateful all her life that she was rescued from it. She was affectionate and so funny. Meanwhile, he had even made her an Instagram account, which he had also criminally neglected in recent weeks. But his son took care of that, too. Man, how long had Paul not looked at social media? Simply because he was experiencing so much offline that there was really no time for boredom.

Three more concerts in France, each in a different French city. And then it was time to go home. He was really looking forward to Berlin for the first time, especially in the run-up to Christmas. And then there was his birthday at the beginning of December - he still couldn't believe it. 58 years! He had experienced so much in his life that others could not even begin to imagine.

And now, in his old age, he also had a double relationship. With an incredible woman and a man who had been his colleague and best friend for years. If Arielle hadn't left him, none of this would have happened.

"It's all good, kiddo. Nothing to worry about. Just a little stress. But otherwise everything's in the green. And you, everything okay too?" Paul gnawed hard on his lower lip.

"Everything's fine with me. When will you be back home in Berlin? The new project is slowly taking shape and I could really use your help," his son replied. Paul told him. "Great." He fumbled a bit. "Um... there's one more thing. Everyone in the media is going crazy over you and Richard right now. It's everything from cute and cutest couple to disgusting. And all because of your stage kissing? Can you enlighten me on that?"

Paul was immediately alarmed, he knew exactly what Emil was talking about - and no, this time it wasn't a duck, this time it was the truth, but he couldn't and didn't want to explain that to his children on the phone, thousands of kilometers away from Berlin, so he put him off. But since his son was as stubborn as he was, he didn't have a chance, because Emil didn't stop asking.

"Okay, it's all right. You can be a pain in the ass." Paul raised his eyes.

"I'm not inferior to you, Dad, you should know that." Emil cheekily countered his father and didn't let up.

"Emil, I can't tell you such private things on the phone. I'll explain when I get back, okay?" Paul was pacing up and down the room, blushing, and all because his son was talking about social media and how the fans were getting off. This was going to be fun.

"So, is there any truth to the stories? Dad, what's going on? When exactly will you be back? This week? All right, but please report back immediately. This is all unbelievable. A little tip, perhaps?" Emil was now hooked, no wonder.

"No tip, kid. Richard and I are friends, you know that. And now enough of that, I don't have any more time, I still have to get ready, there's a concert in Nantes tonight."

He was about to hang up, but Emil had one last question. "And what about Jenny from Hamburg? She's with you, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. Everything's fine. I'll call you when I get back. I promise!" With that, he quickly hung up and rubbed his somewhat sweaty face in excitement.

During the whole discussion he hadn't noticed that Jenny had finished showering. She now snuggled up to him from behind and gave him a tender kiss on the neck.

"Well, why are you so thoughtful again, handsome man?" she addressed him. She was half dried and smelled good. He spun around and saw that she was wearing only a large bath towel.

"Oh, I was just thinking about my birthday. Fifty-eight, imagine that...I still can't believe it. Yet I feel anything but in my late fifties." He tenderly stroked her cheek. "And I have to take care of my kids, just got off the phone with Emil. The good guy has a new project going on with his best buddy, something to do with hip-hop."

She smiled at him, he was so hardworking and constantly took care of other people's worries, he was just great.

"Are you actually coming to the concert tonight or do you girls have other plans again?" asked Paul.

"No, I'm coming, of course. The gay video thing was an exception after all." She blushed noticeably. "Sylvie will be there, too, of course, I'm sure Richard will be pleased."

"Guaranteed. Gee, kid, the fact that you're getting over everything with him and me like this is really big. I don't deserve you at all." He held her tightly and the towel finally slid to the floor. He looked at his wristwatch, they still had a little time...

*

"Why, Uli, why don't you want me anymore? What have I done wrong, please? You can't just throw away all those years. I really can't understand it."

Schneider sat tensely on the sofa in his room and almost cried into the small telephone. His wife had just made it clear to him once again that their relationship was now over for good. He had called her to maybe patch things up after all, but after that announcement just now, there was simply nothing he could do. He felt shabby and could beat everything up.

Mr Mueller had briefly reiterated that Ulrike really had nothing to do with any of the dealings of the businessman from Hamburg, with whom Arielle had been fiddling.

"And what about the children? I just miss you guys so much. This can't be all that's left of our marriage. Please, Uli, let me see the little ones at least once in a while."

Now tears were running down his cheeks and he wiped them away angrily. He wanted to say something else, but Ulrike had hung up. Just like that, without warning. He threw the cell phone angrily on the sofa and had his hands over his face. He was really crying now.

To make matters worse, there was a knock at his door. He didn't want to see anyone right now, they didn't have to be at the stadium until afternoon. He ignored the knock, but the visitor had perseverance until he heard an angry "Schneider, if you don't open the fucking door now, I'm going to kick it down! You know I will!" was heard. That was Till. Oha, if he was in such a mood, it could already happen that he really made serious and maltreated the hotel door.

Like an old man, Schneider shuffled to the door and opened it. An energetic Till stormed in, slammed it behind him and looked at him challengingly. "Dude! What happened to you?" He flung himself onto the nearest chair and looked at him expectantly. Schneider dropped down next to him on the sofa and told him everything.

"Oh, Christoph, this really sucks. What has gotten into those women? First Arielle, then Ulrike. Are they still crazy?" He stood up again and pulled open the balcony door. As he did so, he lit a cigarette. He actually wanted to stop smoking, but impossible situations required impossible reactions. He felt like Richard, who had a cigarette in his hand in every situation.

Schneider was dejected, and he looked it. The big man hung on the sofa and was somehow broken. The beautiful face was sunken and his blue eyes were rather dull. Not at all like usual, where they usually flashed perky, and he also got every wish fulfilled, from male as from female.

"You know, Till, I thought I'd give her a little time to think about it, maybe I'd hoped that everything would somehow work itself out, but no, she's stuck with it. It's over for her. For good. And it hurts like shit. She just pushed me away when I asked if I could at least see our sons from time to time. Just like that. As if I was the very last thing. And I don't even know what I did wrong. We had the best marriage you could ever imagine. Harmonious and so loving. And now? A shambles of the finest kind. I can never hold her again, never kiss her again, soak up her incomparable scent, watch our children grow up, hear her bright laughter, her unconventional way of dealing with even the shittiest situations, with an ease that not everyone has. All of that is gone and gone forever. I just can't believe it. I don't know how to live with it. I just don't know."

He cried again and Till stubbed out his butt, took the drummer in his arms and cradled him like a little child. "Shh, Chris, it's all right. We're still here too."

He thought about his just-beginning relationship with Isabella, which was going super well for him right now. But that was just how it was, on one side there was only sadness and frustration and on the other love and joy.

He felt incredibly sorry for Schneider. What had he fought for this woman and now she had separated for no reason just like that. It was the same with Paul. The years-long relationship with Arielle had not always been easy either, that's quite normal, but that they had loved each other, there was no doubt about that. He had always thought the same about Schneider's marriage. But apparently he had been wrong about both of them. He shook his head slowly.

Something had to happen now. Two in the band who had to cope with such losses. Well, with Paul there was Jenny, who really suited him well and also loved him - and he believed Paul loved her too, even if he now had something going on with Richard. Unbelievable, what was happening right now. You couldn't make up stories like that, something like that just came out of nowhere.

"You know what, Chris, I think after the tour you and I should go away together. What do you think about Sweden? Fishing, a bit of hunting, a nice drink, hanging out and relaxing. Well, it's cold because it's winter, but never mind. When you come home now and you're all alone in your big house, sooner or later the ceiling will fall on your head and then you might have strange thoughts like Richard, when he's back to normal life. And nobody wants that. You least of all!" He looked at Schneider intently.

"What do you mean, you want me to come along on one of your notorious tours?" Schneider looked at Till in amazement. "And what about Isabella? You can't leave her alone in a completely new city and in a foreign country."

"I'm not going to do that either. Isabella will be back in her home country after the tour, and I'll be with them in Italy over Christmas. Before that, there's still some time, so we should manage two weeks to distract you a little from your frustration."

"Hm. Then it's good. But hunting, no, that's not for me. Fishing, maybe more like it. I'll think about it, okay? Thanks for the offer." There he was again, Schneider, the well-mannered man.

"I'd definitely be happy to distract you for a bit, big guy." With that, he slapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner, which made Schneider wince slightly.

*

"Babe, please... please don't say anything. I'm so embarrassed. Oh God, this has never happened to me before..." Richard lay slain on the huge hotel bed, his girlfriend beside him. He had failed at sex, how awful. And to him, the sex god par excellence. He would like to crawl away somewhere. He just had too much stress, it was no wonder he was failing.

Sylvie stroked Richard's broad chest pensively. Sure, one was disappointed when one's boyfriend didn't bring it in bed, but still she was anything but angry with him. It could happen to anyone, yes, even to a Richard Z. Kruspe.

"Hey, it's all right. It's not that bad.", she tried to reassure him, but Richard was alarmed, because he had a bad suspicion. What if he couldn't take it anymore with Sylvie because he had to think about Paul all the time? There was no way THAT was going to happen. They were going to make this work, all four of them. He urgently needed to talk to Paul, if that had happened to him with Jenny.

Suddenly he was in a hurry to get out of the warm bed and into the shower. Slowly, he untangled himself from Sylvie. "I'm going to take a shower and then we have to leave soon. Are you two actually coming to the concert tonight?" he asked. She nodded affectionately to him and Richard disappeared into the bathroom.

*

He was with Paul and Schneider in a van heading for the stadium, the other three in the other van. Jenny and Sylvie were in the car with Jens Koch. That was good, Jens had done it to the two ladies, he was so wonderfully uncomplicated and told super stories about everything possible.

Schneider looked pretty exhausted, traces of tears could still be seen on his cheeks, he had smeared the make-up over carelessly. What was going on there again? Richard could already guess, it was definitely about Ulrike.

Paul was cheerful as usual and chattering away. Richard leaned over to him and gave him a little kiss on the hairline. Schneider reacted zero to it, although he usually still had his little problems with their caresses. That was unusual. And also that he was so quiet and really didn't make a sound at all. He leaned as if molded into the comfortable seat, staring blankly ahead.

"I really need to talk to you. Maybe before the concert.", Richard tried to tear himself away from Schneider's sight. He whispered and looked at Paul seriously. The latter turned to him, startled.

"What's wrong?"

Richard shook his head. "Not here, later, in my dressing room. Okay?" Paul still couldn't make sense of it, but nodded in agreement.

When they arrived at the stadium and were assigned their dressing rooms, Richard immediately pulled Paul along with him.

"Hey, you don't let anything go to waste, do you?" he grinned and let himself be pulled along. Richard locked the door behind Paul. Paul misinterpreted this whole action and tried to slowly pull Richard's clothes off. They still had their normal clothes on, in an hour they went to the costume rehearsal, then they were equipped for the stage. As of today, they had new costumes for the last three concerts. Paul had chosen a black stage outfit with all kinds of studs and belts. Richard had chosen a red and black outfit as usual, this time with a shiny look.

"Paul, I don't want sex right now, I really need to talk to you," Richard tried, but Paul slowly stroked his chest southward.

"Haha, anyone can say that. We still have a little time, it'll go fast, you'll see." He grinned dirtily, but Richard stopped him.

"Stop, stop, you know I love you, but this time I just have to TALK to you!"

Paul drew a pout, but let go of him and sat down next to Richard. "Okay, what's on your mind??" He stood back up and grabbed a cold Coke from the beverage fridge that was in each dressing room. "One too?" With that he waved the bottle and Richard nodded. "Now tell the uncle what's going on."

Richard squirmed like an eel, he was still embarrassed by it all, but Paul was really the only one he could confide in. He straightened up, opened the Coke, took a big swig and then told him about his failure in bed with Sylvie.

Paul snorted, he really hadn't expected that. "What, you? No, I don't think so. The great Mr Kay didn't get it up. I'm about to piss myself." He laughed at the top of his lungs and Richard became furious.

"Haha, rarely laughed so. Has apparently never happened to you. Paul, really, I would have thought you were more mature. Instead of laughing at me here, you should help me. So, what am I supposed to do now? And above all, why did this happen? Sylvie's a hottie, he's standing there before she's even thought about taking her clothes off. Man, I think I'm getting old. I can't do it anymore. I could puke!" He stared angrily ahead of him.

Paul stroked his arm lightly and noticed that Richard was shaking. "Hey, I didn't mean anything by that. It's happened to me too, though not yet with Jenny." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Try to relax, Reesh. Lie down, I've got an idea."

With that, he stood up again, putting his Coke on the table. "Turn over and just lie there. Okay?" Richard didn't know what to make of it. What was coming next? "Why don't you relax?" Richard lay down on his stomach on the comfortable couch and Paul sat down on his backside. "All right, now take it easy, my best man. Let Daddy Paul have a go."

With that he began to pull his T-shirt over his head and massage Richard's stiff neck. As he did so, he kept stroking his back as if at random, kissing his way from north to south to the waistband of his pants.

Slowly he pulled his sweatpants along with his boxers over his plump ass and continued kissing his way down. As he did so, he slowly and teasingly stroked the small cleft.

"Hey, I said no sex, Paul." But he wasn't quite so averse, because what Paul was doing with his mouth and hands was totally turning him on. Moaning softly, this man was completely upsetting him. He noticed that he quickly became hard. So all was not lost after all. At least that calmed him down a bit. But this was Paul and not Sylvie. He had guessed it, he only got hard when Paul spoiled him. It was really amazing how fast he could get him aroused. And he didn't even do much. But Paul's sinewy hands alone, which stroked him into madness, were enough to make him more than horny...

Chapter Text

"Aaaaah, oh Paul, I..." Paul kept sinking into Richard, setting a pretty fast rhythm. This time they had switched roles and as Paul kept touching his sweet spot, Richard squirted off ... fast, hot and a lot. He couldn't calm down at all, because the waves of orgasm just didn't subside and Paul's rolling movements against him continued, because he hadn't come yet.

Instead he smooched him almost senseless, Richard's lips were totally swollen. And all this before a concert. Paul clawed at Richard's thighs and thrust hard into him until he came too ... hot, hard and a lot. Exhausted, he sank down on top of Richard and rubbed Richard's cum between them with his body. What a mess. Richard swallowed and could have cried - with happiness and with fear that he would never be able to experience something like this with Sylvie again. This just couldn't be true.

He closed his eyes and stroked Paul's back, thoughtfully kneading his tight ass. He was still inside him, it was nice to feel him like this for longer. Once again he couldn't understand that this man turned him on so much. Sex with Paul was fantastic, no matter how they did it. There was nothing dirty about it, he couldn't imagine his life without him. When he thought of all he would have missed if Paul hadn't challenged him. He pulled him even closer to him and nibbled tenderly on his neck. "I love you, my little Paul, so very much...," Richard breathed.

"I love you too, you know that.." With that, he carefully withdrew from Richard's body.

But Richard could not get enough of him. He never thought he could go straight to the next round. He leaned over Paul and slowly kissed his way from top to bottom. As he did so, he took his now flaccid cock in his hands and cleaned it with a handkerchief. They had made love again without a condom, but by now he didn't care.

Paul looked down at himself excitedly and gasped loudly. "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning you up, what else?" Innocently, Richard blinked his eyes, but the lust was written right on his face.

" You don't believe that yourself. Reesh, me… oh... me..." That's as far as Paul got, because Richard was not only cleaning up, but slowly and tenderly stroking his cock up and down. As he did so, he kissed his way around the exciting zone until he arrived at the pleasure center, then he took Paul's now slowly hard length between his teeth again and gently bit into the tender flesh. Then he licked over it and his hands helped Paul get hard again.

Hot his member now stood out and Richard now took him deep into his mouth. With his hands he helped and pressed Paul's length against his palate, mimicking swallowing motions. "Oh Reesh..." Paul squirmed lustily under him, trying fahrigently to hold on somewhere. He got a hold of Richard's hair and clawed at its fuzz so hard he almost ripped out a few strands.

"Ouch, man..." Richard was distracted for a moment, but Paul's hips were just doing their own thing and he kept thrusting upward. And Richard did him the favor of letting him out of his mouth over and over again, only to take him right back deep into his warm oral cavity. It didn't take long and Paul was just able to pull out of Richard, then he came. Richard was completely done and Paul spread his seed all over his chest, for the second time that day.

He moved much closer to Richard now and saw that Richard was crying like a little boy. "Reesh, oh, what's wrong with you? All good?" Paul lovingly kissed the swollen lips and nudged Richard's with his nose.

"Yes, all is well, my little Paul. I'm just so overwhelmed that it's always so nice with you and I can't get enough of it. I've never experienced that to the extent I have, even with my marriages." He tried to sit up. "I'm so scared I'm going to lose Sylvie, even if that sounds stupid to your ears now. I love her too, it's just that the sex right now is - well, how shall I put it? Not at all?" he looked rather crestfallen, but Paul kissed him gently.

"Hey, that doesn't have to mean anything. You just try it again with that girl. I slept with Jenny, too, and everything was fine. Maybe you're just too stressed out in the head. It's possible. You shouldn't brood so much. It's not good for nothing." He stroked his chest and almost crawled into Richard. He smelled so good, so masculine, like sex and his very own scent. Paul was happy.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Richard looked at him lovingly.

"Sure..." He looked at his wristwatch. "You know, I think we should take a shower, we don't have much time left."

Thank goodness the dressing rooms nowadays all had their own shower, not like in the old days when they sometimes had to shower in threes in one. He stroked Richard's arm affectionately once more, then they both got up awkwardly and staggered slightly into the shower in Richard's dressing room.

*

The aftershow party was in full swing, everyone was in a good mood, even Schneider was trying to distract himself a bit. The only one who just took a powder on the terrace with the usual fag in his hand was Richard. He still couldn't get over the fact that he was getting it on with Paul, but not with Sylvie, his girlfriend. Something had to happen now. Maybe he should get himself checked out when he was back in Berlin. Maybe it had physical causes, that could be.

"Well, handsome man, all alone out here in the cold?" someone spoke to him. He turned around, but it was no one he knew. He looked at the woman, she was incredibly pretty, had big talking eyes, however, she was a little too much made up for his liking. She was wearing a dark red dress, very short and low cut, and a small black fur stole over her shoulders. For the life of him, he couldn't remember having seen her before. Even though he had had more than enough affairs in his life, but he would not have forgotten such a beautiful face so easily.

"Do we know each other?" he asked right away, too. They were here in France, so it wasn't so normal to have a lot of German-speaking people at their parties. He turned to face her fully now, leaning backwards against the patio railing. He eyed her, she was really very appealing and in the past he wouldn't have flinched and taken her, even if it was just for a little blowjob. But he had a steady girlfriend and a steady boyfriend. He grinned slightly to himself. That alone was incredible.

"Not yet." she breathed, moving closer to him. "But you can change that." This tour had always worked on him, he just couldn't resist such advances. Only this time he immediately kept his distance and raised his hands defensively.

He thought back to Paul and how they had spoiled each other several times - it had been so nice, everything fit together so well. They had exchanged roles, which Richard admittedly was a little afraid of, but being fucked by a man had been an incredible experience. With Paul, he could let himself go, knowing that he would never hurt him. He had experienced an incredible climax. And he had had many of them in his life so far, but this topped it all again.

Unfortunately, he was just still worried that all of this wasn't making his relationship with Sylvie any better. He really needed to talk to her again and of course try to sleep with her. Maybe he had just had a little lapse. That's what Paul had meant - but he couldn't just go back to business as usual. He was just so emotionally knotted up there. He had imagined the whole thing with Paul AND Sylvie much easier. Theory and practice - once again two completely different things.

"I don't think so. I'm here with company. Sorry." He smiled apologetically at her, stubbed out his cigarette and shrugged. Then he disappeared back inside. Disappointed, she glanced after him.

*

"You won't believe what just happened to me.", Richard just whispered to Paul, who was grinning borderline debonairly because he was sitting one down.

"What?" he mumbled, giving him a peck on the cheek.

Richard was immediately alarmed. "Paul, not here, is public. Remember?" He pulled him with him to the nearest corner, but Paul didn't see it all at all and snuggled up to him. His hand wandered cheekily to Richard's crotch.

And Richard once again had nothing to oppose - he had fallen for this man, clearly - no matter how often and intensely they slept together. He pressed himself against him and again he felt this gribbling. He was just about to pull him with him towards his hotel room, when suddenly someone shouted 'quiet' loudly. This someone was none other than Till. His booming voice really made everyone quiet and listen to him attentively. Richard was the first to leave the small corner, Paul followed him unobtrusively a little later. As if nothing had ever happened, the two rejoined the troupe.

Till cleared his throat loudly. "Dear all, I wanted to take this first France concert as an opportunity to say a huge thank you to the dear people around us, our crew, all staff and helpers. Without you we would not exist, without you our performances would not be possible, at least not in this dimension, I think I speak for all of us. And for always being there, you also deserve a big thank you." With that, he took a step back and - wherever he got it from - picked up several large boxes from a side table and handed one to each of her staff.

Everyone applauded, and it could have been such a nice evening if a woman hadn't suddenly stepped into the circle next to Till and simply pushed the taken-by-surprise Till away. Paul sucked in his breath sharply, suddenly he was sober again. He had really thought that he would never see this woman again - Arielle - in full beauty and an appearance like the evil queen of Snow White.

Right next to her now stepped Ulrike, Schneider's wife. It was all so surreal right now that everyone thought they had fallen for her. Where did the two ladies come from? Even Till was more than startled and couldn't say anything at first because of his surprise. And Schneider himself had to hold on tightly not to freak out right away. Flake had placed himself next to him and held him tightly.

"Oh, how nice to see the whole gang together. Well, then we can get started." She turned to Ulrike and laughed wickedly.

Paul, next to Richard, shook his head in disbelief. Jenny, standing a little apart from the two of them, looked back at them, startled.

"Did you really think we were going to go along with this whole circus all our lives? We've lived well the last few years, you've been more than generous. Thank you for that." She grinned smugly and her words dripped with scorn. "But Ulrike and I have decided that it's finally time for us to stand on our own two feet."

With that, she turned to Ulrike, who now spoke up. She looked with a fixed gaze at her husband, who stood there as if paralyzed and would have preferred to sink into the ground. The same was true for Paul, who couldn't understand where they were coming from and why they had chosen this location abroad.

Ulrike cleared her throat. "Okay, so, Christoph..." She muddled, but Arielle put her hand on her shoulder and nodded in confirmation, then Ulrike continued speaking. "Well, the thing is, I don't want anything to do with you anymore, let alone this whole mongrel bunch here. I've practically raised our kids on my own because, of course, you had nothing better to do than wander around the world with your people for most of the year - and I mean every fucking year." She had slowly talked herself into a rage and was now looking at him and the others with evil eyes.

Somehow Schneider didn't buy this whole announcement. She seemed to be remote-controlled. That was not his Ulrike. Arielle was also behaving more than strangely. This friendly woman at Paul's side, who she had always been, could not have suddenly changed like that. Paul had said that there were no drugs involved, but he still didn't quite believe it.

"But that's my job, Uli, you knew that from the beginning! I don't know what your problem is. You can't just throw away our good marriage and our special bond like that," Schneider tried to defend himself, but Till gently put his hand on his arm.

"Don't, Chris, there's no point!" With that, Chris slumped a bit against Till's arms and the two ladies continued with their nonsensical speech until Paul was directly attacked by Arielle when she brought up Jenny and Richard, and in the nastiest way.

Paul pulled up, broke away from Richard and got dangerously close to her. Even though he was usually in a good mood, but when Paul was mad, he was really mad. And you could see it in his twinkling eyes.

"Tell me, are you out of your mind? What's the point? First we left without a word after more than twenty years, when I always thought we were something special as a couple. What you're doing to Lilly and Emil, they don't seem to give a damn about. And then you drag Uli along with you into your machinations and act as if we've ever forced you to be married to us." He took a deep breath as Arielle was about to reply, and made a hand gesture that made her stop immediately. "And don't you dare say another word about Jenny or Richard. That's none of your business anymore. I'm happy with both of them! So!"

That had sat. Until now, only the close circle, namely Rammstein themselves and their partners knew about Richard and Paul, but now it was clear to everyone.

Here and there a startled gasp and whisper could be heard, but Arielle just laughed, and so wickedly and hurtfully that tears came to Paul's eyes.

"You don't miss a beat, do you? First you look for a bitch from the Hamburg neighborhood and then you even eat up your colleague. I did not know that you are also on men. But I could have guessed, the way you two always make out on stage. Ugh, Spider, you two are really the last straw!" With that, she grabbed Ulrike and trudged triumphantly out of the hall.

"Oh, how I hate you, you wouldn't believe it!" Paul called after her, but she had already left the hall. Weeping, he sank to his knees and howled bitterly.

*

"Please, Paul, say something...", Richard tried and pulled him very close to him. They had lifted him off the floor again and put him on the nearest chair, where he now hung like a sip of water, and was as absent and introverted as anyone had ever seen him. Jenny just brought a glass of water and squatted down beside him. Mechanically, Paul took the glass from her and emptied it in one go.

"Why dose dit? Why? Please, what have we done wrong? I just don't get it. And that thing about you, she said in such a derogatory way, it's... it's..." He sobbed loudly and Schneider, who was absently squatting next to them, suddenly looked at Paul with a serious expression.

"Well, I don't know either, Paulchen. But unfortunately, we seem to have to accept that they've just been taking advantage of us all these years. I don't have any other explanation right now." And now he sat down on the floor, too. Till, Olli and Flake stood around them and were more than perplexed.

But Till didn't see this whole fuss at all and went back to the others. "Guys, the party is over. Sorry, but I don't think any of us are up for partying now!" A low murmur followed and most of them quietly left the big hall.

*

"Really, I thought that was a done deal. - Great! And how do we get the ladies out of there now? - Oh, you're on it already? - Okay, and how long did you say something like that takes? - How long did you say it would take? It can take up to years? Oh, God. All right, no problem. - All right, no problem. Please keep us posted - you can always reach one of us, unless we're on stage right now. - Yeah, sure. No problem, that's taken care of. Goodbye."

Till had just gotten off the phone with Mr Mueller and was incredibly exhausted after this nerve-wracking evening. Now he turned back to the others, who were still squatting on the floor. "People, please stand up. This is unbearable with you. Since when did we all become such crybabies?"

Isabella had now stepped up next to him and, of course, was on the outside, because she didn't know how the whole thing was connected. She clung to his arm and said, startled, "Tesoro, cosa c'è che non va? Non so nemmeno di cosa si tratti. Ho fatto qualcosa di sbagliato?" Till turned to her and kissed her gently, something you wouldn't have thought the big brute would do. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'll tell you later, beautiful." Then he turned to the others. "We're going to bed. It's getting late!" With that, he pulled Isabella with him and they both left the party with their heads hanging.

The others had also thoroughly lost their desire to party. Richard was now sitting next to Sylvie, who was crying because she couldn't understand it all. She felt so sorry for Paul. She had known the smaller man as incredibly loving and tough and that he now looked so torn, was just not nice to watch.

But it was also an incredibly tricky situation. First his wife left him like that, then he had the great fortune to find a woman like Jenny, whom Sylvie had grown very fond of in the meantime. And then he had also discovered his feelings for her Richard.

The fact that the two of them lived out their love and were allowed to live it out, even though they both had girlfriends, was not easy enough, but that this woman, of all people, with whom he had spent almost half his life, would flip out like this and expose him in front of the whole team, that was so incredibly mean. Nobody really deserved that, especially not the usually good-humored sunshine.

She continued to think about Schneider. The tall handsome man had completely broken with his wife's performance and had hastily taken a powder. I wonder what he was doing now? He was probably kicking the bucket in his hotel room. That would be understandable in any case. "What's actually going on with Schneider? He left so quickly, I don't want him to hurt himself again."

Sylvie looked at Richard, startled, but he waved it off. "Leave it, he does a lot of things to himself."

"Are you sure about that?" She was not convinced.

"We should definitely check on him again, you're right," Paul agreed with her. He rose with difficulty. Then they said goodbye to everyone who was still there. Together, the two couples walked towards the elevator...

Chapter Text

On the ride to Lyon, everyone on the bus was pretty quiet. Everyone was preoccupied with their thoughts, and even the high-spirited whirlwind Paul was quiet for once. He was lying in his bunk, together with Jenny, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Next to him, Till was snoring. His girlfriend had already gotten up and made coffee for everyone. She was talking quietly with Olli, who was up early. Next to them sat Flake and a somewhat grumpy tailor, who had looked too deep into the glass yesterday, but when Paul and Richard had checked on him, he had just stood dead tired at the hotel room door and had looked at them incredulously. He hadn't understood at all why the two of them had bothered to come to him again.

Paul just now had those hated tears running from his eyes again, because he couldn't get over this impertinence of Arielle at all. He felt that Jenny had fallen asleep in his arms again and was now slowly waking up. He stroked her back, lost in thought. She looked up at him and gave him a peck on the mouth. "Well, handsome man, sleep well?" He shook his head and tried to wipe away the tears, but only half succeeded. "You're crying. Paul, this is all so unfair. I'd like to help you so much, but I don't know how."

"Oh, little one, I know. But you really can't help. I have to go through this all by myself. I just hope that this Mr Mueller can still help. Till had said that there was still something open." He snuggled up to his girlfriend and closed his eyes. He didn't feel like performing tonight at all, that happened to him extremely rarely, he loved to be on stage and feel the energy. But today he would have preferred to crawl away and be somewhere else. "What annoys me most is that Arielle acts as if she has suffered from me for years." He opened his eyes again.

"Yes, but that's due to all the circumstances, apparently that businessman or whoever she's hanging out with has something to do with it. And Schneider's wife too." She sat up a little, which was not at all easy in the cramped bunk.

"You're right about that, though. It's all so twisted, it's all strange. But it doesn't help, somehow it'll go far." With that he swung himself up and almost fell over Jenny if she hadn't held him.

Next door, Till was still snoring. And where was Richard, anyway?

"Guys, a little break?" came from Udo, their bus driver, who was just turning into a rest area.

"Oh, that's good. I need to stretch, I feel so rusty." With that, Paul almost hopped out of the bus. But someone was faster - Richard. Where he had come from again, I have no idea, but of course he was smoking again. Paul joined him and stroked his chest lightly. He snuggled up to him and Richard gave him a kiss on the mouth.

All of this was strange. First he was cuddled up in his bunk with his girlfriend and seconds later he was glued to his friend's broad chest.

Richard smiled and rubbed tiredly over his beautiful eyes, had probably had a rather long evening yesterday, the good guy, after they had stopped by Schneider's... Paul thought so his part.

Udo looked at them in amazement, he hadn't even noticed the whole thing, he hadn't been at the aftershow party yesterday. Paul grinned at him and came strolling up to him. "Tell me, what is this?", Udo asked immediately. Paul explained it to him. "That's a thing. And what does your sweetheart say about it?" He wiggled his eyebrows and sipped his coffee.

"Well...", Paul began. "It's not that easy. But we'll just try the four of us." Paul looked down, kind of embarrassed, and kicked little pebbles away.

"Four of us? No, right? Richard's slice is in there too?" He laughed dirty.

"Yes, it is. It's not easy, as I said, but it can't be changed. I love them both, and Richard too."

"Well, you guys are a couple of firecrackers. And how long have you known that you like Richard, or is this all new?"

"You're not curious, are you? I think I've had a crush on him my whole life, I've just always seemed to push it." Paul grinned at Udo. Richard now came back to the two, he had disposed of his cigarette and hugged Paul from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

Udo smiled to himself. "Somehow you are a sweet couple. It's kind of funny that you're together now. Do the rest of the crew all know this?

"Yes, since yesterday," Paul answered.

"See, I wasn't there. Did I miss anything else?" Paul and Richard looked at each other in alarm, but since Udo would also find out about the whole unholy business with the two ladies, they let him in on it. "That’s a thing. Paul, I always thought that nothing could come between you and Arielle. And even Schneider was so happy when he finally landed with Uli. And now they both don't want to know anything about you anymore? So you ask yourself, was it all just an act or what's going on?" He shook his head uncomprehendingly.

"No idea, honestly. But this private detective that Till got is on it, but it may take a while."

"Great. You two were such a great couple. It really hurts."

He looked apologetically over at Richard. But he now put his arm around the bus driver. "Don't worry about it, Udo. It's not easy, but we'll make the best of it."

He nodded his head while hitting Paul on the shoulder with his paws, which were in no way inferior to Till's. "But I am happy for you. Honestly." Richard let go of him and Udo slowly walked back towards the bus.

*

"What, you can't be serious. - Okay, I'll clear this up first, but it's a doozy. - Yeah yeah, alright, I'll get back to you - promptly!" Till was pretty upset and was drinking a new glass of tequila backstage after the concert. He mumbled to himself and sat down heavily on a chair that had its best days behind it and swayed dangerously under Till's weight.

Paul was still full of endorphins, the concert had gone great, and now they only had Paris to go. Then the tour was over for this year. "What's wrong, grumpy?" He swung up next to Till and took a hearty bite of a sandwich. Till pulled his eyes up theatrically, this good mood was hard for him to bear at the moment. He downed the tequila and was about to pour himself another glass, but Paul stopped him. "Hey, stay relaxed. What’s going on?" he looked directly at him. Till squirmed like an eel, but the little rhythm guitarist wouldn't let him out of his clutches.

"Alright, you're not going to give it a rest after all, pain in the ass!" Paul grinned all over his face, he had won again. Till stood up. "Folks, everybody, listen up!" Immediately he had everyone's attention. He cleared his throat. "I just had management on the line. They want us to do a photo shoot after the tour." He paused for effect. Everyone looked at each other in amazement, now another photo shoot, yet it was almost the end of the year. They were getting ideas, too.

"Where then?" came the simple question from Schneider.

"Well, in Berlin, of course!", Till answered him a bit too hastily.

"Aha. Well, it's not really that natural. We've had shoots all over the world. So what's phase then?" Schneider sat up straight now. Something was coming now after all, Till had sounded anything but amused on the phone.

"We're supposed to shoot with snakes!" He looked around, no one said anything. He had had a lot to do with snakes, especially on his trips with Joey, but those had been completely different situations. But the whole band with snakes? That didn't really fit.

"Well, I have no problem with that. There are certainly people who know about the animals. Since when do you have a problem with that? You practically spend all your free time with them when you're out and about?" came Paul's immediate reply.

"That's right. I don't have a problem with it either, but what about the rest of you?" He continued to look questioningly into the round.

Flake looked startled, which was kind of obvious. "No, so that's not for me." He shook himself and looked as if that was his last word. But since Flake always had something to say somewhere, Till ignored his opinion for the moment.

"Okay, what about you guys? Olli? Richard?" He was pacing now and had his hands behind his back, like a boss dictating something to his secretary.

"Fine by me - I have no problem with that!" Olli was deeply relaxed as usual and calmly explained his opinion.

Only Richard had turned bright red. Now you could also see that he was sweating. He was about to crawl back into his corner, but Paul slowly pulled him back into the foreground. Thereby he touched his arm tenderly and pressed a little kiss on his cheek. "Reesh, everything okay? You look like you've been blessed with a ghost."

"I... I can't!" was Richard's curt stammered reply. At this he tried to break away from Paul, but the latter held him ironclad.

"How, you can't? Why?" Till had now stepped closer to the two again.

It was noticeable that Richard was becoming incredibly agitated, now freeing himself from Paul's grasp after all, and throwing an angry "It just won't do!" into the room. Then he disappeared outside with rustling robes and slammed the door behind him.

Paul wanted to follow him, but Till held him back. "Let him, our little bitch will get over it!" Then he sat back down. He knew this, it was exhausting, but it had been routine for years. Even Richard, too, would snap out of it. One hundred percent.

"Okay, okay, when is this supposed to take place?" Paul looked at him challengingly.

"You're not going to like it, Paul, because that's the other sticking point in the story." He looked up at him with wide eyes. "On 09." He would have loved to sink into the ground. Paul wanted to celebrate his birthday in a big way this year, it wasn't a round birthday, but it was the first one with Jenny and the realization that he was now also with Richard. In other words, a completely different and new situation for everyone involved.

"What? You can't be serious! On my birthday? Are they still crazy? It won't work, it just won't work." He raised his arms dramatically. "How do those idiots come up with that date? They know when my birthday is. Damn." He was beside himself, completely understandable. And right now Richard wasn't there and neither was Jenny. The two ladies, together with Isabella, were playing games in the next room. Great.

"I need fresh air." With that, Paul also disappeared from the baking room, but he didn't slam the door behind him like Richard. Olli, Flake, Schneider and Till looked after him.

"Great performance, really!" Schneider's mood had gone to the basement after all the euphoria of just now, and if that was the case, it was impossible to have a reasonable conversation with him. He stood up. "I'm going to crash. Anyone else coming to the bus?" Olli and Flake rose synchronously.

Only Till stayed behind alone. He angrily pounded his fist on the table, which swayed menacingly. "What the fuck is this again, really!" He took the tequila bottle and retreated to the next room, where Isabella was sitting next to Jenny and Sylvie, and the three of them seemed to be having a lot of fun playing games.

*

Paul had of course looked for Richard and found him sitting outside the stadium smoking next to the tour buses. After him the door suddenly opened again and Olli and Flake trudged wearily and with a muttered 'night' towards the bus. Richard had sat down on a stone bollard and looked thoughtfully into the clear cold sky. "Aren't you cold?" Richard shook his head, but Paul hopped briefly onto their bus and brought two blankets back out with him.

"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" began Richard.

"I can only return that, pipe. What about that sweetie? She's still in there with the other girls." He sat down next to Richard and put a blanket over his cold shoulders and took one for himself. "Got one for me, too?" Richard dug the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket again and handed him one. Paul lit the cigarette and looked at his friend. He looked pretty beat. What was wrong with him? He moved closer and snuggled up to him. "What's wrong with you? You look really tired." Since Richard had already smoked up and his hands were in his lap, Paul stroked them with one hand. They were ice cold and shaking.

"Paul, I can't do this shooting thing. Not with snakes. Just thinking about it sends a chill down my spine. I know it's anything but professional, but I just can't do it." Richard was angry and excited at the same time. Paul's loving caress calmed him down a bit.

"But why? You don't have any other problems with anything, do you?" Paul flicked away the half-smoked cigarette and now took both hands to warm Richard's cold hands. The latter nestled directly into the rough large hands of Paul.

"Oh Paul, you're so sweet to me, but it just won't work. I can't explain it to you."

Paul nodded his head slowly. "That may be so, but we don't have time to think about it anymore. Hold on, the idiots from management want to make this shooting my birthday. As if there are no other days in the year. No, it has to be the 09th of December. I could really puke!"

Richard looked at him, startled. "What, it's getting better and better. You don't have a problem with the creepy crawlies, but you do with the date. Very great, really, very, very great. Maybe we should really see about getting some other management, like we've thought about before." Richard was now really angry and his flashing eyes literally sparked.

"Now don't get the devil on you. Maybe Till can still change it, that is, the date."

"Great, he can do that. But you will still have to do without me, I will definitely not shoot with snakes, no way. There the entire management can turn on its head. Even if I get called a bitch again, I couldn't care less, you wouldn't believe it!" That was the end of the matter for him.

He got up in a huff, the blanket slipping to the floor, and with a long stride he headed for the tour bus. As he did so, he turned around once more. "What is it? Are you coming or are you going to freeze to death out here?"

Paul looked at him sadly, that could still become something. Once again, one of their notorious discussions, which mostly came to nothing, but it only worked in the majority in the so-called collective. He found the whole thing nice and was quite normal for him, but there were also days when it all pissed him off. Brooding, he took his and Richard's blanket and followed him...

*

"I said no, Till. How many times do I have to repeat that, huh? I just don't want to shoot with the critters. The end. Out. Period!" Richard was high-fiving and unnaturally red in the face. Till sat across from him. The two squabblers were fighting a battle that simply didn't have to be. And since Richard wasn't talking about his real reasons for objecting to all this, Flake was now trying to settle the dispute.

"Richard, I don't like the snakes thing either. But we are a unit, a collective, it concerns us all. Don't you think you could make an exception?" He looked directly at him with those big clever eyes behind his glasses. Richard smiled, Flake was a soul of a man. But there was also this huge fear inside him that hadn't let him go since he was a kid.

"Flake, I know that." He stroked his forearm lightly. He was uncomfortable talking about this childhood trauma. But if this was all not to end in absolute disaster, he had to come out with the language now, which was incredibly difficult for him. Till and Flake looked at him with wide eyes, none of them spoke a word, even Paul, who had kept somewhat in the background, now pricked up his ears.

Slowly Richard began to talk.

"You know about my stepfather ... that he beat me and all ..." He was so embarrassed to lay out all his soul garbage in front of his friends now. Paul, of all people, felt that intensely. He rose from his bunk and trotted over to the big round sofa. He sat down next to Richard on the other side and put a hand on his thigh. Richard winced briefly, looked at him fondly, and then continued to speak softly.

"This time it has nothing to do with that." He paused again. "Well, I must have been about eight or nine. We went to the zoo in Schwerin. I was never much of a zoo-goer, I rather hated it, but my mother thought it was great, and so little Sven always had to go there."

He took a big gulp of the wine Flake had put on the table. "My stepfather was a big fan of everything that crept and flew. So spiders, snakes, insects. He headed straight for the little terrarium and enthusiastically ran from one critter to the next, pouring out hymns of praise about all the different kinds of snakes. And just then, what you wouldn't wish on anyone happened. One of those big discs suddenly collapsed on itself and I fell into a smaller pool because I hadn't held on properly."

He suddenly shivered and Paul continued to stroke his thigh reassuringly. "Dit sounds like something out of „Harry Potter“."

Richard looked at him ignorantly. "Huh?" he made toward Paul.

"Well, that's in the first part, where little Harry suddenly comes face to face with a snake and beasts it because he can parsel." He looked around. "Don't tell me you've never seen the „Harry Potter“-movies!" General head shaking. Great. He explained it to them, including the snake language Parsel. What kind of cultural philistines were they? Paul loved the little student of magic and had of course seen all the books and all the movies - several times.

Richard looked over at him. "If you look at it from that point of view, it's true. Only with me it had nothing to do with magic, I was just unlucky. You must not think that my stepfather made any effort to go anywhere for help. Most of the people had run away screaming and were busy with themselves and their panic, everything was scurrying around. Even my mother had run away. I couldn't understand it at all. They just left me there."

You could see that he was incredibly upset by all this, still after all these years. Distraught and halting, he continued.

"I was trying to pull myself together when suddenly I heard a menacing hissing above and beside me. The snakes were huge, at least that's how it seemed to me. But as if in a trance, I could no longer move and only noticed that one of them was coming menacingly close to me. Then I must have fainted. When I woke up again, I was lying on a cot in a small room next to the terrarium and my oh so worried mother was sitting next to me. There was still no sign of my stepfather. Then the door opened and a white coat came in. He had probably injected me with a sedative.

'Well, my boy, can you get up?" he asked me kindly. I could, thank God. I will never forget that day - but it was never spoken of again within the family. That was embarrassing, Sven had misbehaved once again. Since that day, I hated my stepfather even more and my feelings towards my mother had also turned rather negative." He broke off and his chest rose and fell with strain.

Everyone looked at him musingly, Till was the first to recover his voice. "Okay. Okey-dokey. We'll reschedule and we won't do the snake thing. I'm curious to see what their response is." With that, he rose and went to the back of the bus to call management. It was already very late, but a Till Lindemann so didn't care. If one of his friends wasn't well, then he didn't care about times or the like....

Chapter Text

They were all just kneeling on the stage to say goodbye to their grateful French audience. The farewell lasted longer than usual this time, because it was the last concert for this year. Even Till was totally emotionally wiped out, you could see tears running down his made-up cheeks, that didn't happen every day either. A young woman threw him something on stage, which he caught skillfully. It was a small teddy with a heart on it. Actually, Till was not into that at all, but this time he smiled honestly and the young woman beamed over her whole face.

Afterwards, they went together to the back of the elevator that was supposed to take them upstairs. But something else was different that day - they would announce the next tour on the big screen. People would go wild. That energy they all felt from the audience did so much good and even Richard, who was still pissed off because of that shoot and dealing with his back, was smiling at his fans and the smile was genuine - Paul knew him well enough to judge that.

When the farewell bang sounded and Flake once again covered his ears - covered by the audience - and Paul laughed out loud because he thought it was so funny that Flake still hadn't gotten used to the banging after 28 years, you could feel the wave of enthusiasm from the fans wafting towards the stage, because now the countries were on the big screen with the flags they would be heading for the coming year. They were all always overwhelmed by these reactions, even after so long.

Paul stood next to Flake and hugged his waist and he actually blushed. Delightful, oh his good old friend Flake. It was nice that after all these years of knowing each other, and this was way before the Rammstein era, they were still such good friends, even if things didn't always go smoothly. Paul gave him a little peck on the cheek and Flake looked embarrassed.

*

The flight back from Paris to Berlin had been turbulent, and Jenny had clung anxiously to Paul the whole time. Eventually the shaking had stopped and she had fallen asleep. They had all said goodbye to each other in Berlin. Isabella would travel to Italy tomorrow and Jenny and Sylvie had been allowed to add 3 days to their vacation, after all they wanted to be there for Paul's birthday.

Paul had already invited everyone from France, this time quite unspectacularly by WhatsApp message. He was looking forward to his special day and was pretty exhausted after the last exciting time. He could also use a little rest.

*

"Thank God Till has managed everything. We only have a provisional management now, but our contracts will be terminated at the end of the year anyway. So it's all good." Paul sat with Jenny at the richly laid tables. They had rented an entire restaurant and were watching Till as he gracefully, as was possible with his stature, floated across the dance floor with Isabella.

Since she would be leaving tomorrow, Till still had to enjoy the short time with her, because right after that Schneider and he were going to Sweden for two weeks of fishing. Paul couldn't imagine Schneider and Till sitting next to each other in complete silence, waiting for fish to bite. But well, he thought it was great when Till cared so much and Schneider desperately needed a break from it all.

The only one missing now was Richard. But one was used to that from him, Richard was never on time. So Paul wasn't worried yet, although he had hoped that Sylvie had a little influence on him. "Your cell phone's ringing." Jenny leaned over to him and pointed to the small phone on the table. Paul hadn't even noticed over the loud music. He grabbed the small phone and covered one ear so he could hear.

"What, Richard, is that you? What? Wait a minute..." He jumped up and retreated to the nearest quiet corner. "So, here you are again. What happened?" He listened strained, then nodded and joined Jenny at the table again. "Richard is late. Sylvie isn't feeling well. He just drove her to the hospital. No idea what's going on." He looked sad and sat down heavily next to his girlfriend.

*

Richard paced up and down in front of Sylvie's hospital room and became more and more nervous. He would have liked to light a cigarette right here in the hallway, but he couldn't. As Paul turned the corner frantically, Richard was digging through his pockets for change for a coffee.

"What are you doing here, Paulchen?" he was also immediately addressed by Richard. "It's your birthday, you should be with your guests." Richard shook his head in disbelief and sat down powerlessly on one of the unadorned hospital chairs. Paul sat down next to him.

"No kidding. The others are celebrating in the restaurant, they'll be fine without me." He stroked Richard's hair.

"But what about your girlfriend?" Richard looked at him, startled.

"She'll be here soon, she just parked the car. And I went straight to the reception because I wanted to know where Sylvie was. What actually happened?" Paul just sputtered out the words so that Richard couldn't really follow.

"Apparently a circulatory collapse. We had just dressed up for your party, and suddenly she fainted, so quietly, without me immediately noticed. And I was still talking to her, and when I turned back around, because I was wondering why I wasn't getting a response, I saw her lying there." He gasped frantically and Paul stroked him again. "I got so scared. At first I didn't know what to do. Then I panicked and looked for my cell phone and called 911. They came right away."

Richard was about to get up again because the waiting was driving him crazy, but Paul pushed him back into the chair. "Reesh, give me a break. They'll take care of your little one. It all takes a little time. What do you think about a coffee, huh? Should I get us one?" Richard looked gratefully at Paul and nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back. And don't run!" Richard sat there and was in his world, at least as far as the expression on his face was concerned. "Okay?" Paul nudged him lightly. Richard nodded and Paul walked down the long hallway toward the coffee machine.

*

"I'm going to miss you so much, beautiful." Till nibbled on Isabella's neck. They were still dancing, and oddly enough, it didn't bother him in the least. He had never been the dancer, but this woman was doing things to him where even he didn't know he would enjoy it. She snuggled up to him, stood on her tiptoes and breathed a kiss on his mouth. "Till, what do you say we take a little break?" That something like that just came from her, Till wouldn't have thought either, but he nodded in agreement. "I'll get us something else to drink, okay?" With that he booted towards the bar and Isabella sat down next to Schneider and Olli, who were having an animated conversation with Flake's wife Jenny.

Flake himself was standing at the bar, getting drinks for himself and his wife, when Till stepped up next to him. "Well, big guy, everything fit in step?" Flake was a little startled, because Till's paws on his narrow shoulders, that always took a little getting used to.

"Yeah, sure, everything's fine. I'm just wondering what's going on with Richard? Why isn't he here? Or is everything off with the two of them? Oh, please don't! I've really gotten used to it, I'd really be sorry." Flake looked at Till with wide eyes.

"No, everything's fine there apparently. The way I overheard it earlier, Richard drove his girlfriend to the hospital. What exactly is going on there, I don't know."

"And what about Paul?" continued Flake.

"He left in a hurry, together with Jenny."

"Alright, I hope they all come back. It's funny, his birthday child isn't here, his sweetheart isn't here, and his girlfriend isn't here." Flake shivered somehow and stood next to Till with his shoulders hunched.

"Well, it will be all right, you'll see." With that, he turned to the bartender and ordered two glasses of champagne for himself and Isabella. If, then properly. After all, he wouldn't see his girlfriend for quite a while. For now, two weeks of downtime in Sweden were on the agenda. Till was looking forward to it. He needed complete rest now and then, otherwise he would go crazy.

By the way, where was Schneider? He hadn't seen him for quite a while either. He took the two glasses and scanned the hall attentively, but he couldn't find Schneider. Worried, he meandered through the crowd of people and placed the glasses on the table in front of his girlfriend.

"Sweetie, I have to go look for our drummer for a minute. Somehow he worries me too, I think he still hasn't quite gotten over what happened to his wife." Isabella nodded understandingly and Till slowly walked through the restaurant searching. There, in the farthest corner, Schneider was sitting or rather hanging out on the wide sofa and was just putting the bottle of vodka back on. Oh no, he had already skipped the part with the glasses and had now stayed with the bottle. Till hurried toward the table and sat upright in front of Schneider.

"Tillie, everything okay? Why don't you go to your Isa....b....issab..." He didn't get any further, Schneider was drunk as a skunk and only slurred his words. Holy cow, even this construction site. Till felt like he was in an insane asylum. Not that this was anything new, Rammstein was a lunatic asylum, but this all took on quite unhealthy features at the moment.

"Jeez, Christoph, you're as thick as a pork chop. You can't even talk anymore. I'll call you a cab, okay?" Till had already pulled out his cell phone, but Schneider didn't see the point.

"Don't call a cab... I want to dance. Are you coming to dance? Please..." He clung to Till and tried to get up, which he didn't manage at all, he plopped down on his backside again.

"Nothing there, I'll call you a cab and come with you. Okay. But only until you're lying in your little bed. This is even worse than the Salvation Army here! There may be something going on here..." With that, he dialed the cab call. "You sit here, I'll just tell Isabella." Schneider just nodded in resignation and Till stormed back down the hall to inform his girlfriend that he was taking Schneider home and would be back.

*

"Dude, did you see that one back there? What a cut. I think I need to get a closer look." Emil just nodded in understanding, as his buddy and Best Buddy was in checker mode. The latter now stood up, pulled his pants up and wiggled in the direction of the two blondes, who were currently moving to "Last Christmas". Oh man, that this song was played again every Christmas, he already couldn't hear it anymore.

He took another sip of his beer as his sister joined him. "Lilly, oh it's so good to see you." He stood up and hugged his little stepsister. She had her new friend in tow, who artfully introduced himself as 'Roman' and together they sat down at the round table.

"There's a lot going on here. No wonder, it's always like this at our parties, isn't it?" She laughed all over her face and you could tell she was very happy at the moment. "Where's Dad, by the way? I didn't see him at all when we came in."

Emil didn't know either and just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, little one, he can't be far, it's his birthday." With that, he stood up. "You guys want something to drink?" Lilly looked around at her friend.

"Will you bring us two white wines? Thank you." With that, Emil strode leisurely toward the bar. He, too, was surprised not to see his father at all. Very strange.

Suddenly there was a loud sound against a glass. Flake's wife had stood up, she was much better at talking, at least in a big round. "Everyone, listen up! Don't be surprised, Paul is in the hospital with Richard. Nothing bad, though. Richard's girlfriend had a minor circulatory collapse. They'll be back here shortly too, just without Sylvie. She will have to stay another night in the hospital for observation. I should tell you, Paul had just sent me a message!" She nodded to the group and sat down again. What a relief Flake was to have such a tough woman. He himself would probably have stammered one out.

*

"Hey, sweetie, what are you doing?" Richard, Paul and Jenny were now allowed to see Sylvie after she had been thoroughly examined. She lay weak and pale in the hospital bed and Richard and Paul sat in the two visitors' chairs. Jenny had fetched some more water from the hallway and now came back into the room with two bottles.

Richard had clasped Sylvie's hand and was lightly stroking it with his thumb. She smiled weakly at him and pointed to the water bottles with her other hand. Paul had a better view of it all, Richard was completely overwhelmed with this kind of thing.

He stood up and poured some water into a glass for her. "Here, drink this." He held the glass to her mouth. As he did so, he saw that Richard was crying. How had this man actually managed to bring three children into the world and also be present at each birth? Paul smiled slightly and sat down next to him again.

"What kind of crap is all this? And just on your birthday." Richard was completely crestfallen and tears were running steadily down his cheeks now. Sylvie had dozed off again and Paul moved closer to him. He didn't know him like this either. Emotionally he was, but that he was built like this by the water, nope, that was new. He kissed him on the cheek and tenderly stroked his arm.

Jenny had leaned against the small table and watched the two of them - they were just so sweet together. Sometimes she felt like she was intruding. She swallowed her fear. Now Sylvie was important.

Suddenly the door opened quietly and a nurse checked the saline supply to Sylvie's arm. Everything seemed to be in order. Just as she was about to leave the room again, a doctor joined them in the hospital room.

"Which one of you is Mr Kruspe?" he inquired politely. Richard wiped the tears from his face and stood up. The doctor made a gesture for him to follow him outside. Richard looked at Paul and Jenny, startled, shrugged his shoulders and went outside with the doctor. What was that all about, the two of them couldn't make sense of it.

*

Richard stood in front of the doctor like a wet poodle and listened to what the man had to say. "Mr Kruspe, I can congratulate you. You're going to be a father!"

Richard was stunned, that was some news. He reached behind him to hold onto one of the chairs in the hallway, as he realized he was shaking and his legs were giving way beneath him. The doctor supported him and together they sat down on the chairs.

"That's not true, is it? I mean... I..." Richard stammered helplessly to himself - Sylvie was pregnant?

"Now, calm down, Mr Kruspe. Is this your first paternity?" the friendly doctor continued to ask. Apparently he didn't know Richard or the band, so he couldn't have known that Richard was a father of three.

"No, this is my fourth... Okayyy…, that's a thing!" Richard finished. "I'm going to be a daddy!" he whispered now, and tears came again, this time tears of joy. "I have to tell Paul about this. Now!" With that he wanted to jump up, but his circulation didn't cooperate and he swayed back in the chair.

"You should slow down a little. No one benefits if you collapse now, too!" With that, the doctor stood up and carefully pulled Richard up from the chair. "I'd like to keep your friend here for another night, just as a precaution. But you take care of yourself, please. Can I count on that?" Richard nodded to him. "You can pick up your girlfriend tomorrow morning then. I'll have the papers ready then. Is there anything else you need?" Richard shook his head. "All right. I wish you all the best!" The man bid him farewell and Richard cautiously walked back into the room.

"So, what did the doc want from you?" asked Paul right away, too. Richard was so overwhelmed that he couldn't make a sound. He looked lovingly at Paul, sat down next to him. Sylvie was still asleep.

"You two, I think we should go now. It's been a long day. Sylvie is asleep and will probably be out tomorrow." With that, he rose, stroked his girlfriend's face affectionately once more, gave her a little kiss, and formally complemented Paul and Jenny from the room.

Once outside, Richard stepped it up a notch to finally get out of the hospital. He hated these facilities. Paul and Jenny couldn't even follow him that fast. "Jeez, Richard, what now?" He had hooked up with Jenny and as if the devil was after them, they almost ran into the underground garage to the car.

Completely out of breath, they arrived at the car. Richard leaned on the hood and hung his head. Paul and Jenny looked at each other, startled. What on earth had happened?

"Richard, please.... What did the doc say?" Richard slowly turned to the two. He still couldn't believe it. His Sylvie pregnant...he was completely overwhelmed. Paul had moved close to him again and was now whispering. "Reesh - please, let's not die stupid. What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be a daddy again!" said Richard powerlessly, and began to cry. Immediately Paul was with him and pressed him against him.

In his hair he whispered "No, right? That's not true now. Richard, this is ... oh, I don't know what to say." He pulled the taller one even closer to him and Richard cried in his arms like a little child. Jenny was delighted. What a beautiful message.... And this, of course, had to be told to the others. She was the first to find her way back to reality.

"Okay, guys, let's not wait any longer then. Off into the car and now we celebrate however correctly... we have now still another reason to it! Although without Sylvie, which is really sad, but we drink a little glass for her with!" With that, she pressed the remote and swung behind the wheel. The two gentlemen stumbled into the car more than they got in....

Chapter Text

After a still very humid birthday party and a rather short night, Paul sat on his sofa and drank his morning coffee with relish. He had brought Sylvie and Jenny together with Richard to the train quite early today.

When Sylvie found out about her pregnancy, she had once again tipped away. It was all a shock to her too, especially since they hadn't been together that long. The doctor at the hospital had only let her in on it this morning, long after Richard had found out. Paul smiled. She had been so happy, but she was also scared. Richard had been so incredibly sweet and even had tears in his eyes as he said goodbye. Jenny seemed a lot more resolute and had promised to take care of Sylvie in Hamburg.

The date for the photo shoot had now been set for shortly before Christmas. The management found the alleged bitching of Richard of course anything but good, but they had prevailed. Till had clearly told them that they would not shoot with the snakes. Instead, it should now be small dogs. Well, that was no problem. He looked at Minni, who was lying calmly next to him on the sofa. The little one had been so happy that he was finally back. She was completely fixated on him and snored softly to herself.

Richard had just gone to the bakery to get rolls and now rang the front doorbell. Paul rose heavily and trotted to the door.

"Dude ey, the store was completely overcrowded, felt like all of Berlin had to buy rolls right now." Richard threw the bag on the kitchen table in annoyance and took off his coat. Paul went after him into the kitchen and poured him a coffee.

"What are you so annoyed about?" As he did so, he tenderly stroked his cold cheek.

Richard took the coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. "I'm not annoyed, I'm just..." That's as far as he got, he was shaking. What was wrong with him?

"Hey, sssh, what's wrong with you?" Paul sat down with his cup opposite him. He had already prepared everything for their breakfast together. Richard tore the bag of rolls and with a little too much momentum threw a croissant onto his plate.

"I'm not annoyed! I'm just scared!" He swallowed hard.

"You're scared? Of wat?" Paul looked right at him.

"Gee, Paul, I'm going to be a father. That alone is hammer news. But my sweetie lives in another city. How, please, is all this supposed to work out? I can't keep commuting, especially when we're on tour again." He looked sadly into his coffee cup. "And I keep asking myself, how is this all going to work with us then? I don't know if I can."

Paul looked at him, startled. "Does that mean you don't want ma anymore?" His heart was pounding up to his throat, he didn't want to lose him. He realized that his throat was getting tight and he bravely pushed away the tears.

But Richard looked at him tenderly. He took his hands above the table. "Never, my darling, never would I leave you. I hope you know that. But I just worry about the future." He bent over the table and gave Paul a quick kiss on the mouth.

"But we all don't know what the future holds." He was somewhat reassured that Richard didn't want to break up right away. "I still think it's so great that you're going to be a dad again. And once the little worm is here, Uncle Paule will take care of it, of course. That goes without saying, doesn't it?"

"That's really sweet of you, Paul. But first I have to make sure that Sylvie and I find a place to live together. I can't leave her alone with the child in Hamburg." He was thinking again and bit his lips.

"You'll do it, Reesh. It sounds stupid, but time will tell. It was like that and will always be like that." He took a roll, cut it open and put his favorite cheese on it. Munching, he sat in front of it when his cell phone rang. How appropriate, always inappropriate, of course!

"Landers?" he mumbled into the cell phone. "Yeah, that’s right. No, the performance was enough. - Yeah, what am I supposed to do now? - All right, see you in a minute." With that, he pressed the little red receiver and looked thoughtfully at Richard.

At Richard's wide eyes and eager look, he told him that Schneider's wife was about to show up at their house. Richard's eyes got even bigger.

*

Ulrike sat on the huge couch in Paul's apartment, completely dazed. The two gentlemen were across from her, watching sadly as Ulrike blew her nose all over one handkerchief after another. "I ... I don't know what's gotten into me.... I don't know why Arielle was there either.... And I don't know where I'm supposed to go now either? Christoph will never take me back, I've thrown too much at him for that!" She cried and blew her nose again and again. Of course, Paul couldn't stand by and watch. He sat down with her and took her in his arms.

"Now tell us calmly, Uli, what really happened, we have time." With that, he stood up again. "Want some coffee?"

She nodded and began to talk. And what came out was incredibly hair-raising. During the first part of her tour, Ulrike had been visiting her parents and had tripped over the garden hose in their garden. In the process, she had fallen so unhappily and hit her head. Her parents were completely freaked out and immediately took her to the nearest hospital for an examination, but nothing was really diagnosed there, except for a slight concussion.

After that, she kept having lapses and developed a real aversion to her husband, which led her to confide in Arielle, since they were close friends. Arielle had dragged her to this businessman, or guru, as Paul had come to call him. He supposedly had good connections to doctors who dealt with something as rare as partial amnesia. Ulrike then also went to one of these so-called doctors. After this session, which Ulrike could only dimly remember, nothing was the same as before. She felt as if she were constantly wading through Neben and found everything she had experienced with Schneider only exhausting and somehow childish, especially his love of music, and the entire band in general. Even her children had become mere appendages and had not really been wanted. For this reason, she had parked them with her parents, who of course could not understand what was going on. But Ulrike had brushed them off and told them some story about how she had to find herself. Her parents had believed her and kept their feet still for the time being, especially since the band was on tour and not really available.

But after the last performance at the aftershow party in Paris, which she had done together with Arielle, Ulrike had more and more doubts whether it was all so right. She then probably went to a doctor again, namely her long-time family doctor, who had always supported her, even when she herself went in this direction professionally. Ulrike also could not explain that just she with this professional psychological background, concerning her job, could be deceived in such a way and had not noticed it.

When she finished her report, she had Richard and Paul sitting next to her, hugging them both. A huge mountain fell from Paul's heart, he was so glad that at least there was a positive clarification with his buddy Schneider. And he hoped that this wasn't another game of intrigue on the part of his ex-wife.

"Calm down, Uli, we have to teach Christoph slowly. Right now he's way too agitated," Richard explained to her. Ulrike nodded.

"Thank you, dear ones, for listening to me. I really didn't know who else to go to. Actually, Till is always the soul comforter for such things, but he wasn't there."

Paul looked at Richard in alarm. There was something else. After all, Till and Schneider wanted to travel together. Ulrike knew nothing about it. How could she? "Uli, I think we have a confession to make." She wiped the tears from her beautiful face. "Till and Christoph will be gone for two weeks. To get away from it all, they are both fishing in Sweden."

"What? Christoph and Till are going fishing together?" She began to laugh heartily despite her sadness. "Well, Till fishing is almost standard, but my husband with his partially piqued posturing at the lake in the freezing cold? The idea is just too beautiful, I'd love to be a fly on the wall." She giggled and the other two joined in. Then she became serious again.

"But tell me, what's going on with you two anyway? You're together? Like, really?" They both nodded. "Didn't you have two new girlfriends?" Another synchronous nod. "And what do they say about it? I mean, it's not easy to deal with something like that. I don't know if I could." She sipped the hot coffee.

"It's not all that easy, either. But we all four agreed that we wanted to try it together." He looked strained at Richard, but he immediately continued talking. "It's actually going quite well, but since Paul's birthday there's been something else..." He broke off and looked over at Paul.

"Yeah, right, it was your birthday too. Happy birthday to you." With that, she hugged Paul and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. She was such a warm person, always had been, so Paul hadn't understood how she could be so ice cold and do all this drama to Schneider. Just like his Arielle, who was also always warm-hearted. The whole thing was just catching up with him and he had to swallow down the tears to keep from crying and looking like a wimp again.

"Company thanks!" He grinned wryly. "Um, what Richard wants to say, well, I mean... it..." He didn't get any further, because Richard got up and went to get another coffee. When he returned, he straightened up, set the cup down on the small table and took a deep breath.

"Sylvie's pregnant!"

Ulrike almost choked on her coffee. "Please what? Nah, right? You're just saying that in between? Gee, Richard, I'm glad to hear that. Honestly. And congratulations again." He grinned proudly. "But then what about you guys? And above all, what about your girlfriend? She lives in Hamburg, right? You can't leave her alone now, that's... I mean..." She looked at them both with wide eyes. "And what about your Jenny, Paul? Does she know all this?"

Richard shook his head. "Nah, of course she doesn't. I'll talk to her later today. But first she has to come to terms with it at all. I mean, we've known each other a few weeks. The fact that it happened so quickly, even though we were using contraception, we both honestly didn't think it would." He sat back down.

"And who's taking care of her right now?"

"Jenny is taking care of se," Paul interjected, but Ulrike kept talking.

"But surely she has a job in Hamburg, a social environment, an apartment. Does she even want to leave?"

Richard looked at her, startled. He hadn't even thought about the fact that she didn't want to leave Hamburg. "Um, no, I hadn't thought about that at all." A sudden frantic restlessness came into him. "Dear ones, I think I need to sort this out really quickly now. I'll come back later, okay?" With that, he hugged Ulrike again, gave Paul a tender kiss on the mouth, and was gone down the hall. Shortly after, the apartment door was heard to fall into the lock. Ulrike and Paul looked at each other. There were apparently still some things unclear.

"You said earlier that you didn't know where to go. What about your parents, and above all, are the little ones still there?"

Ulrike looked at him sadly. "Yes, they are still there, but my parents have broken off contact with me. My mother was so upset about it all, and she told me on the phone that she didn't want any contact for the time being." That was very sad.

"Uli, don't worry about it. In the worst case, you can live here too."

She looked at him sweetly. "Thank you, Paul, that's really sweet of you. But what about Richard and you?"

"Well, you heard me, Jutste has to take care of his little ones first, so I have to go through with it. Even if it hurts." He swallowed hard. He missed him already. And of course he missed Jenny, too. Oh, everything is not so easy... he scowled into his coffee cup.

At that moment his little dog came trotting up, sat down in front of him and looked at him out of her big googly eyes. His heart melted. And Ulrike was thrilled, she had not seen Minni often, she had to deal with her family herself. "Can I pet her?" asked Ulrike. Paul nodded and gave Minni a little pat on her bottom. That was his sign to the bitch, so to speak, that he had "approved" of letting someone else pet her, too. "God, she's cute!" She was ecstatic. Everyone, absolutely everyone was in love with Minni, yet she could be quite a bitch. But only he knew that. He was grinning again now.

*

"Christoph, hurry up, the plane is not waiting for us!" Till already had all his luggage including fishing equipment in the cab, but Schneider once again took forever. He just came out of his house with what felt like the tenth suitcase and packed his luggage into the trunk of the cab.

"Yes, yes, I'll be ready in a minute. With that he booted back, but came right back out of the house, now with his backpack over his shoulder and locked the door. "Let's go!" With that, the two got into the cab.

It was total chaos at the airport. No wonder, many people were in the pre-Christmas rush and apparently all wanted to leave somehow. Till and Schneider were thickly masked, but of course there were always people who recognized them anyway. Two male fans around 50 recognized Till, but thankfully didn't make a big fuss and just wanted a photo with them. They said thank you and left. That was Till's favorite way. He hated it when he had to pose with people all the time, even though he didn't feel like it. Yes well, it was part of the job, but at the moment they were here privately. That was it however already and they could relaxed sometime by the safety control.

*

Richard was sitting at one of his huge mixing desks in his studio and was pushing files with single sound snippets from A to B. He was in a great mood, because he was working with a lot of people. He was in a good mood, because he had just talked to his girlfriend. The two women had arrived well in Hamburg and Sylvie apparently had no problem moving in with him. She would miss her home country, of course, that was quite clear, but she had made it clear to him that she would come to Berlin sooner or later.

Only Richard himself was not sure whether she would move into his penthouse here or whether they would find something else in common. First she had to settle her affairs in Hamburg. He had promised her his support and would travel to Hamburg in the next two weeks to help her.

It would degenerate into stress, as usual, because he already wanted to spend Christmas in Berlin, especially with his children, and Margaux would also arrive from New York with Maxime. In other words, he had a full house and so far nothing had been prepared, not to mention Christmas presents.

Besides, with all this stress, he couldn't forget Paul. He didn't want to leave him alone, even if the premise of their four-way relationship had now been completely thrown out the window. He thought about his friend. Emil was still there, no question. Also Lilly with her new boyfriend. So, Paul wouldn't be completely alone, but especially over the Christmas days he wanted to be there for him.

He looked intently at the large clock hanging on the wall in the recording room. He still had an hour to work, he was in the process of putting together new and slightly older tunes for a new Emigrate album. That would be the fifth. If you think about it, Emigrate had been around since the mid-2000s and they were on their fifth album.

With Rammstein, they had been working as a band since 1994, and there had been exactly eight regular studio albums, not counting all the remixes and compilations. The new album would be unleashed on the fans next year, and he was jubilant that this was now in the can without any ifs and buts, as they said. They had been back to Saint Remy for pre-production and main production, but this time it wasn't as exhausting as previous albums. He grinned. Maybe they were wiser now. Definitely...

With Emigrate, he wore the hat all by himself, in consultation with Joe, Arnaud and the other members, but with Rammstein, there were always six opinions that couldn't be more different, and every time there was stress in the creative implementation. What had he not already quarreled with the others, and mostly one saw in him the head bitch, which he was not at all. Most of the compositions were his, but Paul always had something to say about it. Even Flake had become more strenuous in the last few years and also more demanding in terms of his playing.

As he thought about it, his phone suddenly buzzed. He looked at the display. There was a big heart and underneath it said: Miss you! - Paul. He felt his heart start to trip. So many feelings he had let out in the last weeks were more than new to him, too. On one side his sweetness, this tenderness he felt for the tender creature and of course the anticipation of his fourth time being a father.

On the other hand, these incredibly beautiful feelings for Paul, his Paul, whom he loved so much that it partly hurt when he didn't see him. He sent back a heart emoji and promised to be back with him in the next hour. Then he put the phone aside and returned to his studio work.

Chapter Text

Paul just sprinted to his apartment door and almost tripped over his own feet, so excited was he because Richard had promised him to come back.

He yanked open the door - and there stood not his lover, but .... his ex!

Paul looked at Arielle as if she had just come from the moon. He couldn't believe that this woman still dared to come here, here, to their common home, from which she had calculatedly just run away several months ago - without any urgent reason - just out of spite.

And just as maliciously she looked at him now - Paul felt like a mouse in front of a snake. He felt sick and had to hold on to the door of the apartment to keep from falling over. It couldn't be that this woman still had such power over him. He was a grown man, half the world loved him, so now he just had to stand over it and not leave the field to her.

He tried to close the door again, but she immediately put her foot in it, pushed the door open wider, and pushed past him into the loft.

And she also immediately started to nag. "Tell me, how dare you work Ulrike over like that and tell her anything else about her husband, that loser? And then to drag Richard into it, too? What you do in private and fuck yourselves senseless doesn't interest me, but if it then goes so far that you undermine our goal, then be sure that I won't just stand by and do nothing!"

She threw her purse on the sofa and wandered up and down the living room. As she did so, she gestured excitedly with her hands. With those hands that could be so soft and gentle, Paul just mused. What, please, had become of this loving woman he had fallen in love with back then?

He was speechless and could not immediately understand what she had said. He slammed his apartment door and came to meet her. "What's going on? What are you talking about?" He leaned against the kitchen counter and tried to calm down a bit. "And anyway, what are you doing here? You don't really have any business here anymore!" It hurt incredibly to slap her right in the face, but he had to, otherwise he would choke on his grief and bewilderment.

"What am I doing here? You really ask that?" She moved closer and poked him right in the chest with an index finger. "Now watch this, you little pissant." She was talking herself into a frenzy, and Paul wondered for the umpteenth time why his Arielle was using such language, please, and why she was communicating with him in gutter language.

"I advise you for the last time to keep your hands out of our affairs, or something will happen that you never expect. You can have all the great lawyers you want and your crappy band, I won't let you do it! You're going to tell me right now where I can find Ulrike, or you're going to get it!" She sparkled at him angrily and one had the impression that she was about to jump on him.... until the doorbell rang repeatedly. He was so startled that he didn't even realize that it really had to be Richard.

She spun around in alarm. "Don't you dare open that door now!" Paul flinched. He wasn't one to hurt a woman, but he didn't see how she could treat him like that either.

"But I... this is important, I have to open up there!" He broke away from her and frantically pressed the intercom without asking who was down there. Judging by the quick steps in the hallway, it was Richard. The elevator seemed to have been down, because it was up to him pretty quickly.

Paul had opened the door and Richard also came in immediately with the words, "Paul, I brought us food!" He faltered in mid-motion when he saw Arielle. "What are you doing here?" He put the food bag down on the table and got rid of his coat, which he carelessly threw on the sofa. Belligerently, he reared up in front of the little woman and protectively put his arm around Paul.

Arielle crossed her arms in front of her chest. "That's so typical again. As soon as my dear ex doesn't know what to do, he calls in the strong Richard. Ridiculous you are - both of you." She spat out. Then she turned back to Paul. "Now, remember, you're not going to stop us! And I need to know where Ulrike is now. And I mean „pronto“!"

Paul looked warningly at Richard and answered her with "No idea, how should we know where Uli is? She never contacted Schneider, so we had to look for her ourselves. And now I'd say that's it. Get out now!" With that, he pulled her by the arm and complemented her out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She knocked on it from outside and insulted them both in the worst way, but Paul didn't react anymore.

He was so angry about this performance and all her behavior that he sat down exhausted on the sofa and cried bitterly with his hands in front of his face. It had been so humiliating and Arielle's tone so scathing, how could she be like that, where was the kind and polite woman he had once married?

Richard sat down with him and stroked his back reassuringly.

"Hey sssht, she's out of her mind. Please don't let her get you down like this, my Paul!" He kissed his hair and continued stroking.

Paul sobbed heartbreakingly. "But I... I don't know what else to do? How can she be so mean? This is no longer the woman I loved, for whom I would have put my hands in any fire. It hurts like hell. How am I supposed to explain this to my kids? Especially Lilly, who doesn't understand that her mother is so crazy. I don't understand what she means when she says she can't keep her mouth shut. You can tell me whatever you want, even if she doesn't officially have any drugs there, but whatever did this guy do to her, whatever?" He angrily wiped the tears from his face.

Richard stood up and pulled Paul along with him. "I have no idea what that was all about either. But it all doesn't help, we still have to eat. So, let's chow down, huh?" With that he unpacked the bag of food, he hadn't felt like cooking himself and so had brought something from the Asian restaurant.

Food always attracted Paul, hungrily he pounced on the fried noodles. Chewing, he got upset about Arielle, but Richard lovingly tried to calm him down. "Where did Uli go now, anyway? Did she say anything else?", he began, trying to get Paul's mind off things a bit.

Paul shook his head. "I offered her that she could stay with me in case of emergency." Richard opened his eyes in amazement. "Yes, that's no problem, the loft is big too, I believe Uli wouldn't mind. And if we feel like going out, we could go to your place." He smiled mischievously.

Richard was relieved that Paul had come down from his trip with Arielle to some extent. He smiled back. "I think we should have a cozy evening. What do you think?" He stroked Paul's thigh under the table and his hand continued to crawl cheekily toward Paul's crotch. The latter looked at him, startled.

"Tell me, you only think about one thing at a time, don't you?" But he wasn't angry with him, he wanted him just as much. He pressed his hand towards Richard's and Richard stroked him tenderly over the little bulge in his sweatpants.

"Should we change locations?" Richard grinned dirtily, stood up, and pulled Paul with him toward the bedroom.

*

Ulrike sat distraught with her parents, crying her heart out. She had told them everything, including that she was with Paul and Richard and had told them the truth.

Her mother took her lovingly in her arms, she was so happy that her daughter had apparently become reasonable again. Anyway, she couldn't understand why Ulrike had left her husband like that. Christoph was a great man who had quite a demanding job, but he had never left her alone and devotedly took care of their three sons together. He trusted his mother-in-law and praised Ulrike in the highest terms and also that he loved his Uli more than anything.

Therefore, she could already understand that he had broken down when Ulrike made this farce, and all because her supposedly good friend Arielle had introduced her to some cranks. Her mother couldn't understand Arielle either, to leave such a loving man with the sunniest disposition ever and hurt him so much, she couldn't understand that and neither could her husband.

"Ulrike, please calm down. It's going to be all right. We're here and so are the two guitarists. You can stay here for now, of course. But at some point you have to talk to Christoph, he deserves the whole truth," her mother addressed Ulrike. Ulrike looked up and was so grateful that her parents were no longer angry with her. "Come now, I have some food in the oven. You've gotten so thin, this whole thing is going to eat you up!" With that, she pulled her daughter off the bench in the conservatory and together they went into the cozy eat-in kitchen.

While eating, Ulrike then told her parents that she suspected Arielle wouldn't be fobbed off so easily and would probably come looking for her. Not a nice idea, especially since she assumed that Arielle was so brainwashed by this businessman from Hamburg that she would also go over dead bodies for her supposedly good cause.

"Didn't you say that Till had hired a private detective? Maybe this man is still on Arielle. You really should talk to Till when they get back from their short vacation." She patted her daughter's hand delicately.

"Yes, Mom, I think you're right. I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to Chris? After all, the man thinks I'm full of shit. And the kids, they don't even know what that was all about. How can you be so stupid?" She was still crying, precisely because she was so angry with herself.

But now her father interfered. "Child, please don't worry so much. You try to talk to Chris as soon as he gets back. After all, the other two know now, so maybe they can let him know before then." She nodded in agreement. She was really so glad she had sought them out....

*

Richard looked lovingly at Paul, his beautiful gray eyes shining in the dark. He slowly kissed his way from Paul's face down his neck. As he did so, he stroked the dark nipples that stood up expectantly, taking one after the other into his mouth and sucking on them lightly. Paul moaned softly and snuggled against Richard's muscular male body. He was enjoying the caresses Richard was giving him, everything was tingling, every place Richard touched felt like a thousand little hot needles were touching his skin and the pleasure was growing.

Paul pulled Richard even closer to him and kissed him passionately, pushed his tongue into his mouth demanding and put a hand on Richard's butt. He pressed it very firmly on his hips and pushed himself rhythmically towards him. At the same time he kneaded Richard's sexy buttocks and made room for them on his neck, to which Richard now devoted himself lovingly again.

Richard's lips were by now swollen from the intense kisses and Paul's lips had also turned red. Richard now wandered lower again, leaving Paul's mouth and kissing his way south until he reached Paul's boxers. Slowly he slipped them off Paul's hips and smiled to himself because of course he saw a big wet spot because his Paul was so ready for him.

Meanwhile Paul was kicking the shorts off his legs and spreading them wide. Richard slowly kissed the soft skin of Paul's testicles and took Paul's now hard, hot member into his mouth. He licked delicately along the length and kissed the wet tip again and again, taking in every little drop.

This sight was driving Paul crazy. He pressed up against him and hissed "Please, Reesh, I can't take it anymore!"

Wherever Richard suddenly conjured up the little tube of ointment, now he opened it, squeezed a little on his fingers and carefully felt for Paul's entrance. He gently massaged the small opening and slowly dipped a finger inside Paul. He unerringly found his most sensitive spot and excitedly rubbed it. Paul moaned loudly. Then he took a second finger and widened Paul further. He licked his lips tremblingly and pushed his tongue between his teeth. He didn't want to do anything wrong and tried to fuck Paul in a leisurely rhythm.

Paul's hip movements became faster and faster and Richard withdrew his fingers from him. He smeared his now hard and throbbing member with the gel so that he could now gently penetrate Paul. "Oh, my...", Richard was unable to do more as he felt the hot tightness around him, he slowly felt his way further and when he was completely engulfed in Paul, his eyes automatically closed and he gently thrust.

"Speed it up!" now came the announcement from Paul, who made choppy moaning sounds and came faster and faster towards him. There was nothing about slow rhythm, Paul became more demanding and now reached between them both to work his own member.

Richard straightened up a bit and had Paul's leg over his shoulder and pulled him closer by the hips. Sweat was running down his face and pooling in the small hollow at his collarbone. Paul had clawed into the sheet and thrown his head back. He gasped with his mouth open, urging Richard on.

Richard was completely caught up in all his lust and thrust uncontrollably into the hot body beneath him. They both climaxed loudly together and Richard's cum spread not only deep inside Paul, but also on his belly, because he couldn't stop cumming. Now he carefully pulled out of Paul and fell exhausted next to him. Slowly his breathing returned to normal and he realized that he was shedding hot tears. Paul was also completely exhausted, but now put his arms around Richard and cried too.

"I love you so much, my little Paul. You can't imagine how much." Richard sighed and pulled his partner close to him. He spread little kisses on Paul's face.

"Yes, yes, I do. I love you very much too. Way too much." He buried his face under Richard and felt he had arrived and was safe. "I just don't know how it's all supposed to go on with us... I mean, I..." he lifted his head again, but he didn't get any further, because Richard closed his mouth with a tender kiss.

"Don't, Paul. Not now. We'll get through it all." Tightly embraced, the two lay in Paul's bed, but soon they could no longer ignore the marks of their love. Richard rose with difficulty. "Ouch. Oh man." He held his back and tried to stand up, but unfortunately he couldn't without Paul's help.

"What's wrong?" Startled, Paul helped Richard up, but he couldn't get up.

"My back, ouch." Like an old man, he let Paul lead him into his bathroom.

"That doesn't sound good. Wait, I'll help you." With that, he maneuvered the taller man into the spacious shower. There Richard sat down for the time being. As he did so, he heard a cracking sound and bit back the pain that drove like a sword into his lower back. Tears were running down his face again now, but this time it was the pain.

Paul took care of him lovingly, soaping him carefully and letting the warm water jet run over him. And very slowly Richard relaxed. Nimbly, Paul also cleaned himself up. Now Richard tried to stand up again with Paul's help. After several attempts it worked. "What was that?"

Paul shook his head and raised his shoulders. "I don't know, but the doctor should take a look at it. And it's urgent." He handed him a towel and together they rubbed themselves dry. Then they both put on bathrobes and slowly limped towards the living room.

"Yeah, probably better." Richard let himself slide onto the sofa with a pained face and Paul called their physical therapist.

Chapter Text

"Yes, Mr Kruspe, none of this looks good. The MRI showed that you're dealing with a bit of osteoarthritis." Richard sat like a whipped dog in front of his orthopedist. Heiner, their physical therapist, had taken another look at Richard, just at the knee, but everything was probably fine there. But when it came to his back, he'd better see an orthopedist. That's why Richard was here now, on Heiner's recommendation. Paul had come along, of course, and was waiting outside.

"So ... what's going to happen now? I mean, this pain, I don't want to have it again...", Richard asked cautiously.

"Well, I don't want to scare you, Mr Kruspe, but the pain radiates from the hip." The doctor made a mental note and looked directly at him again.

"From the hip? I thought it was the back. I was in pain the whole tour and was on cortisone the whole time. It really wasn't pretty, especially I couldn't really do my job properly, it was just for the gigs that I was sort of groomed." Richard sighed, for he had not expected such a devastating diagnosis.

"Mr Kruspe, whatever the case, you definitely need to exercise regularly." Well, he had let sports slide a bit lately, but something like this? Richard was pretty exhausted. "Do you have time for long walks and light exercise at the moment? Or are you out with your colleagues?" the doctor inquired further.

Richard shook his head. "Nah, it's a tour break at the moment, but I'm still working. In the studio, composing for Rammstein, writing lyrics for my second band, have to take care of my family, plus Christmas is coming up and a lot to do." Extended walks... how he hated that.

"Good, then you don't have to stand on stage for hours at the moment. I really advise you to take this seriously, Mr Kruspe. You can't stop osteoarthritis, but you can live with it if you take care of yourself. Okay?" Richard nodded. Then he stood up heavily, the doctor had written him another ointment, and Richard, his face contorted with pain, took the prescription and pulled open the door.

Outside the consulting room, Paul literally jumped from his seat. "So, what did the doctor say?" Richard dropped onto the uncomfortable seat in the waiting room. He was really depressed. He didn't know what to do next. He felt like he was 80 years old, and again tears wanted to flow from his eyes, but he didn't see the point. Since when was he such a crybaby? Sadly, he looked at his Paulchen.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to come to terms with the fact that I'm a sick old sod." He tried to smile wryly, but didn't really succeed.

Paul sat down next to him again and pressed his face against Richard's neck. "What, why? Now say!" He stroked his right cheek affectionately and looked at him intently. " Besides, I love the old sick fuck." Paul gave him a little kiss on the mouth and Richard just lost himself in those dark blue beautiful eyes again.

"I have osteoarthritis in my hip," Richard began carefully.

"Oh, but you said it was in your back, right?"

"Yes, it radiates there. I have to take it easy now. Long walks, the doc said. You can't imagine how much I love that. In any case, I guess I need to get some controlled, regular exercise." He shook his head sadly. "How, please, is all this supposed to go? I have to go to Sylvie, I can't leave her alone now. Besides, Christmas is coming soon and the family will be there too."

"Yes, you said that before." Paul absently stroked his thigh.

"I know it sucks, I also have to worry about a place for Sylvie and me to stay and then the little worm later."

"You already told me that, but I also said that you're not alone. Are you in pain now, or are you okay?" continued Paul.

"No, at the moment it's okay to a certain extent. Come on, I want to go home." With that, he rose, leaning on Paul, and slowly the two walked out of the office.

*

"Honey, I'm not sick after all. I'm just pregnant. So, just take it easy. I'm on vacation for the holidays, so we can look at apartments together." Sylvie laughed her beautiful laugh and Richard was immediately in a much better mood. He sat in front of his computer and Skyped with his girlfriend. "But you look pretty tired. Did something happen?" That women but also always had a knack for such things. Richard didn't want to worry Sylvie, but she probed further.

"I just went to the doc with Paul about my back. The doctor said that I have incipient arthritis and that I should exercise regularly. And that it's not from my back, it's from my hip." Richard looked strained at the screen.

"Hmm, that doesn't sound good. But we can manage that, too. Don't worry so much, and most of all, think about yourself." She smiled fondly.

"I told you. I'm an old fart. What do you want with me?" Self-pity had always been one of his strong points, but Sylvie's face just contorted into a grimace.

"Richard, now look here. I love you, you know that. We're going to be parents. Do you really think I'd drop you now just because you have a little arthritis? There are so many young people with the exact same things. So again, please don't drive yourself crazy! It's not like you're alone, you've got me, you've got Paul, you've got your kids, your friends, your band mates."

Richard was getting smaller and smaller in front of the PC. Sylvie had always been good at telling people off, she didn't put up with anything, and that was a good thing. He tightened up and changed the subject.

"All right, you're right. But something else. When are you actually coming to Berlin? On the 24th or sooner?" He was pretty excited, the first Christmas with his new girlfriend.

"I'm on vacation from the 20th of December until the 6th of January - I think we'll definitely find an apartment in all that time. Besides, I can take care of you."

"Yes, I think so too. My family is there too, hopefully it will all work out." Richard was already in a leisure rush again, but again his girlfriend gently slowed him down.

"It'll be fine, Richard, please don't stress yourself out."

He sighed. "Yes, I know. Do you actually need me to pick you up from Hamburg, or are you coming to Berlin by train?"

"No, you don't need to pick me up in Hamburg. Jenny and I will come by train. We'll let you know exactly when we'll be in Berlin." The name Jenny gave Richard a little stab in the heart. Yes, he couldn't forget in all this that he was in a relationship of four, which was exhausting in itself. Now there was the matter of his hip and Christmas and the New Year.

He swallowed and said goodbye to his girlfriend. Then he closed the laptop and looked thoughtfully in front of him.

He would have preferred to lock himself up alone somewhere. But that wasn't possible. And he couldn't forget his Paul. Speaking of which, where the hell was he? The last time he had seen him was in the studio. Paul had come with him so that he wouldn't be alone in case something happened to his pain again. But as if on cue, he now came back into the spacious living room.

"Well, what did Sylvie say?" He went to the patio door and opened it. "There's a lot of air in here, for real." He stepped out the door and lit a cigarette. Richard grinned. Actually, that was more his part, but lately Paul had been smoking more again. Probably just the whole situation, no wonder, a lot had happened.

"She gave me a telling off." Paul turned to him and grinned. Richard rolled his eyes upward. "Yeah, she's right."

"Well, there you go. You have to yell first. It's good for you that she's so drunk. Sometimes you really have to wash your head, otherwise nothing happens." Richard slowly stood up and stepped next to Paul. It was cold, but the icy air did him good. Together they stood on his spacious rooftop terrace and looked down, fuming, at the city below them.

"I know. I'm so happy I found her." He smiled to himself, but when he looked at Paul, he realized he had just chosen the wrong words. He gave him a kiss. "Hey, but I'm so glad to have you too, my Paul. I know all this isn't easy. But easy would be boring, wouldn't it?" With that, he stepped closer to him and put his arm around his waist.

Paul looked at him in love. "I love you, Reesh, please don’t forget that! And no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you! Okay?" He rested his head on Richard's shoulder and slowly blew smoke through his nostrils.

Then he remembered something. "When is this stupid shooting again?" He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray and walked back into the warm living room, Richard following behind him.

"Um, hold on." He pulled out his cell phone and looked at his calendar. "On 12/20 at 11:00 - this is going to be a hassle, Margaux and Maxime were supposed to arrive on 12/20 and I have to pick them up at the airport." He spun around on his own axis because he was looking for the piece of paper on which he had written down the arrival time. Paul handed him the note, he had been faster. "Whew, so not until the evening. But still, hopefully this shit doesn't go on forever."

*

"I don't believe it. Those two are late again. It's driving you crazy." Strained, Till looked at his wristwatch. It was now just after half past ten, and Richard and Paul still had to get into makeup and costume.

"Till, it's only half past ten, don't panic. They'll be here." Olli calmed Till down once again. He was just in the process of getting changed.

"Yes, come is probably with them the keyword par excellence, in the truest sense." Evil he looked in front of him.

In word-finding, no one was fooling Till. "Till, now leave those two alone. We don't even know what happened in the last few days. Did you call Richard yesterday?"

"No, I forgot. I can't always think of everything. But everyone got the appointment. I don't like it so close to the holidays either, but that's our job." He was lacing up his boots.

Olli nodded in agreement. "Let's talk about something else. When do we actually leave for Italy?" Olli grinned all over his face and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "And how was the short trip with Schneider?" Till looked at him in amazement, he was not used to so many words at once from the bassist.

"Italy tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to seeing Isabella and her family. It's going to be really nice." He was literally gushing and had a blissful smile on his face, which was rarely the case with Till. Then he became serious again. "Sweden was quite okay. Although our dear tailor is quite a sissy sometimes." He sat down on his butt and searched in his shoulder bag for his cell phone.

Olli looked at him in amazement. "Oh really? Well, you mustn't forget that you're used to this kind of thing, going fishing in the cold and things like that. Schneider didn't. I still think it's great that he went along, especially in his whole situation."

Till smiled to himself as he thought about Schneider jumping up from their cozy fishing spot in a panic and running off like the devil was after him, all because he thought a snake was going to attack him. Yes, that's right, in winter in Sweden, a snake. Till couldn't get himself together any more and sat comfortably on his four letters for the time being. The "snake" turned out to be one of several long thick ropes, which were there at this lake, together with small sticks, which were embedded in the earth, that the newly planted trees grew straight. They stretched across the entire shore. Till had then gotten the info from one of the local residents.

Schneider had come back after what felt like an eternity, looking around cautiously. "Till, I thought I wouldn't find you again, I got totally lost. But a friendly older man showed me the way. What kind of critter was that, please?" Schneider was still straining, but Till calmed him down and explained what the ropes were all about. "Sorry, but I'm also sensitive right now."

Till, the good-natured bear, had put his paw on the big drummer's shoulder. "No worries. I know why you're so thin-skinned at the moment. Have you actually heard from Uli again?"

Schneider had shaken his head sadly. "Nope, nothing more." Then he had wordlessly settled down next to Till again. They had made one or two catches after all. Till had fried the fish, and even the spoiled Schneider had really blossomed, because freshly fried fish were a delicacy.

*

At that moment, Richard and Paul trotted up to the shoot. Flake and Schneider were just in makeup and had to be done soon.

"Hello, you bags!" a cheerful Paul trumpeted to the crowd, but he also saw that Till was pulling a sour face. „What? Are we too late? He looked at his watch. No, everything is fancy. It was at 11, wasn't it?

With that, he let go of Richard's hand and planted himself next to Till without being asked. Olli looked at Till strained and shook his head imperceptibly. Till conceded defeat. "Yeah, all good." He stood up awkwardly and typed away on his cell phone.

Paul looked at Olli. "There's something wrong. Come on, Olli, what's wrong?" Olli squirmed like an eel, Till should explain that to them himself in a quiet minute. Now they had a shoot coming up, and they were professionals enough to make sure it all went off properly. After all, there were enough people here who had a job to do.

Just then Flake and Schneider came out of the make-up and already had their shooting clothes on. White - how appropriate. The makeup woman just waved for Paul and Richard. "So go on now, beautiful man. Otherwise it won't work out with the pickup at the airport." Paul took Richard's hand and together they walked off. Olli, Flake and Schneider watched them go. They were kind of cute together and weren't afraid to show their close bond, at least in the context of their Rammstein world.

The shooting went differently than usual, because the little dogs all had their own minds and did exactly what they wanted and not what they should. Still, Paul was blown away, he loved little dogs. His shooting dog was named Emil - how appropriate. But he was much cuter than his son, although he was proud as punch of him. Despite the whole messed up situation back then with his mother, Arielle had taken him in like her own child. Arielle - again he thought of her.

But at that moment the little dog came running towards him again and Paul wiped the heavy thoughts aside. "Well, my little one... do we want to try this again?" He stroked the little animal and sat it on his head. Quite different from the others, because they all had their dogs in their arms.

Paul had to play the famous exception again, Till thought, but he was used to that. He grinned. You could never stay mad at the whirlwind for long. Forgotten was the stress from earlier about being late, which it wasn't at all. He looked over at Richard, who was giving a rather distorted smile at the moment. What was going on there? Till really needed to talk to the two of them. Something had happened again, he had a feeling by now. Paul's cheerfulness wasn't really real today, it was more played and overlaid his entire being.

"So, the last one for today. Everyone in position?" the photographer just asked. Everyone nodded. "Okay, let's go!" He snapped and snapped. Then the shoot was over. "It's a wrap, darlings." Jes had come all the way from Denmark because he really wanted to do a shoot with Rammstein. Actually, it should have taken place long ago, but the tour dates put a spoke in his wheel. He seemed incredibly satisfied, and the guys thanked him for the beautiful afternoon. Only one was in full stress, because he had to go to the airport. Richard.

Richard tried to run to get rid of the clothes, but it didn't really work. Strained, he contorted his face and Paul was immediately on the spot. "Wait, I'll help you." With that, he hooked himself onto him and Till and the others could only watch, shaking their heads.

Chapter Text

Till was knocking on Richard's dressing room when Paul came out with Richard's clothes and wobbled toward the costume department.

"Hey Till. You, sorry, I've got to run. Margaux and Maxime are coming in from New York around 8:30, I have to pick them up." With that he pulled on his pants and almost tripped over a pant leg if Till hadn't been holding him.

"It's just a little after five. Now don't get all stressed out. Richard, what's the matter with you? I don't like you at all. You were so quiet during the shoot and your face was contorted in pain when the camera wasn't on you. Are you not feeling well, is it the knee again?" He was honestly worried about his lead guitarist.

Surrendered, Richard sat back down and waved it off. "Oh, nothing to worry about." At that moment Paul came back into the dressing room and still caught the last sentence of Till and Richard's answer.

"No, Richard, nothing half-assed." He waved his arms and Richard tried to slow him down, but Paul wouldn't let him. "We've been to the doc, Till. Richard must move more, walks and so. It's the hip. Arthrosis." He sat down next to Richard and lightly stroked his forearm. Richard lowered his head guiltily and just felt like shit.

"What, oh shit. Jeez, Richard, this is not something to joke about." He rested his large hands on the latter's thighs and looked directly at him.

"I can't help it after all, Till. Osteoarthritis is here to stay. Long walks, the doctor said, since I love them so much." Grumbling, he pulled a wet wipe from the small box beside him and wiped the makeup off his face.

"Never mind that for now. You go ahead and do that. It's really good and you get out of your studio for a change. And take Paul with you. It will do you both good. Nature always helps, you can see that in me. And lay off the cigarette every now and then." With that he stood up and the two shook their heads laughing.

"Yeah, Daddy." Richard couldn't help himself. Now he had two chaperones, too. Just great.

"So, dears, if nothing else is pending, I'd like to go home now, still have to pack, tomorrow evening we're heading for Italy." He almost whispered and left the small dressing room.

They hadn't even managed to tell him about the thing with Uli. Well, that didn't concern him directly now. But they had to talk to Schneider, and before Christmas.

"Richard, we still have to discuss the issue with Uli with Christoph." Paul looked directly at him. "Now would be the best time. Now that we're together so nicely."

"But I have to go to the airport."

Paul looked at his wristwatch again. "Hey, it's just about half past five. What did you say, are they arriving?"

"20.30."

"That late? We still have plenty of time. Come on, we have to wait for Christoph before he leaves." With that, Paul stood up again and pulled Richard to his feet. Together they went next door, where Flake and Schneider shared a dressing room.

Flake had already packed up and was about to leave when the two guitarists came in. Their serious faces spoke volumes and he was curious enough that he sat down again. Schneider was removing his makeup, but had also put his normal clothes back on. He looked at the two of them through the mirror and spun around in amazement. "What kind of faces are you guys making? Did something happen?" Flake was wondering the same thing.

Richard sat down next to Schneider and Paul stopped in the doorway, but closed it. "Chris, we have to talk with you." At that moment there was a knock. Paul opened the door again and Olli came in and closed the door behind him. "Well, okay, except for Till, we're full."

Paul now stood directly in front of Schneider and cleared his throat. Richard was glad that he had taken the scepter. He was not as skilled as Paul in making speeches. Although he could only do that in a small circle, he actually had a hard time at events. He only had to think back to the Echo awards ceremony a few years ago.

Schneider had only just managed to open his mouth at the time, and Paul had only done so when Richard had held out his hands to him from the audience. He had been fixated on him even then, Richard just hadn't caught on again. He grinned. And now this little sunshine was his lover, his friend, his everything. His heart was beating faster again. But now there was no time for intimacy. They had something to report - and that was hard enough.

"Uli has called in." Paul was sweating with excitement and his face was red. Schneider looked at him as if he had seen a ghost. "Gee Chris, say something." Paul was worried and came closer to him.

But Schneider flinched back. "That's not true, is it? You guys are fucking with me. Why are you guys doing this? Do you think this is funny? What did I do to you?" His face was pure pain, and it was clear he didn't believe them. Richard now had his arm around Schneider and Flake and Olli looked at them both in amazement. Now that was some news.

"Chris, that's right. She was at Paul's house a little while ago. She should tell you the whole story herself, but what she told us, we believe her. You can't make stuff like that up. It's all completely different."

Schneider's head jerked around from Paul to him. He couldn't believe it. And why now of all times? "I don't know if I should believe that, Richard. Honestly, I don't." He quieted a little. Ulrike had gotten in touch, that was too good to be really true. But why hadn't she contacted him? "And why with you? Why not with me? I don't understand all this." His lips narrowed and his flashing eyes took on a sad expression.

"Because she was afraid. That's obvious, after all this shit I'd be scared too. She probably wanted to check out the pool first." Paul went back to the door frame. "You should call her, Chris. Before the holiday. I think it would do you both good."

Tears were now streaming from Schneider's beautiful eyes. "I...I can't. Not after the shit she threw at me. How can I ever trust her again? It hurt so fucking bad." He sank further into himself.

Paul sat down on Richard's lap now, who winced a little, but at the moment it didn't matter. "Chris, please. Give her another chance. If I were in that situation, I would have grabbed the opportunity too. But with Ari, it's a different story." Sadly, Paul looked at the big drummer.

"That's right." Then something occurred to him again. "What about the kids? Where did she take them? Are they all right? Oh, I'm going crazy with all this crap."

Paul continued to reassure him. "Everything's fine. The kiddies are with their parents and they're with their parents. Come on, Chris, give it a try. We'll keep our fingers crossed in any case. Okay?"

Slowly, Schneider nodded. Then he took a deep breath. "All right. I'll try." With that, the small group broke up, leaving only Richard and Paul in the small dressing room.

"I just hope he really goes through with it. It would be a shame if such a great relationship went completely down the drain." He stood up and pulled Richard with him again. "Come on, honey. Let's get on the road to the cursing port."

Richard smiled at him and winced again in pain as he stood up. "Are you alright?" Richard nodded bravely and together they walked toward the exit.

*

A few hours earlier in New York City:

"Honey, please hurry. The plane is not waiting for us." Margaux was a little stressed, Maxime was still not ready. They were both pretty excited, especially because Richard had just told her on the phone yesterday that his new girlfriend would be there for Christmas, too. And then he sounded a bit sad, but he didn't want to come clean about what was going on. Well, they would find out all about it. She had known her ex-husband long enough.

"Yes, Mum, I'm coming!" Maxime was raised bilingual, and whenever she got excited, she lapsed into German. Margaux had also learned a lot of German in the last few months and naturally understood her daughter.

"Okay, Sweetie, let's go!" She grinned, and suddenly the little whirlwind came hurtling around the corner. With her big black teddy in her arms. "No, no, that's not a good idea. Do you really want to drag it back to Germany with you?"

Maxime looked at her out of big round googly eyes. "Please mum, please! It has to go with me, I got it from Dad." How these children's eyes could soften one, even Margaux was not spared this phenomenon.

"Fine, he'll come with me then."

At the same time, a bell rang from downstairs. "Ma'am, your cab is here," it pierced through the small speaker. With that, Margaux pressed the buzzer and the cab driver came up to help them with their luggage. It was a friendly man with round eyes and the widest smile Margaux had ever seen. She neatly locked the door and together they made their way into the elevator. They still had plenty of time; Margaux always tried to squeeze out a huge buffer of time when she was traveling with Maxime, because she knew that the little girl got lost quite often.

When they arrived at the airport, the friendly cab driver helped her with her luggage, she paid and then they went together to the departure lounge.

"Mum, I'm so excited. I haven't seen Dad in so long!" Maxime babbled in a tour, and Margaux was so happy that at least their daughter together had turned out well, which was more than could be said for their marriage. At least they were now getting along well enough again that they could even celebrate Christmas together.

It hadn't always been that way. They had fought a few battles, but for the sake of the child, they had refrained from any more nasty arguments. And since Maxime didn't see her father very often, mostly only via video call or at the one or other concert, it was only natural that the little girl was excited. Especially because of her father's new girlfriend. This was certainly not always easy for such a small child's soul, and Margaux tried her best to ensure that the little one lacked nothing.

*

"Dad!!!!!" Maxime ran towards Richard excitedly. Margaux ran slowly after him. Paul had come along and was looking forward to seeing the little one. She was a golden treasure, Richard and his ex had created something really good. Margaux didn't know about their relationship yet, they had to sort that out in the closest circle. Maxime threw herself into Richard's outstretched arms and was just happy to finally see her father again.

"Hello, my sweet, how are you doing?" Richard himself mixed both languages whenever he was excited, and he certainly was now. He had gone down on his knees, because squatting was not an option, as his back was making bitches all the time.

Paul stood by a little indecisively, but when Maxime spotted him, she stood up and clung to his legs. "Uncle Paul, oh so nice, you're here too." He stroked her blond curls. Somehow she reminded him of his daughter when she had been smaller. Yes, had been... a long time ago. He suddenly felt sad again. Of course, especially now at Christmas time, his thoughts were also with Arielle. How was she doing? The last appearances of her had been everything else than beautiful. Whether she thought now and then of their time together, when everything was still in order?

He had always loved the Christmas season, it meant home, love and family to him. It still did, only now there was a new woman in his life and a man too. He looked at Richard, who was beaming all over his face. It was nice to see him like this. So relaxed, so beautiful, so human. There was nothing of his occasional demons that he could never quite shake off.

He now greeted Margaux with a warm hug and helped Richard back to his feet. Startled, Margaux watched as he did so. "Reesh, what's the matter with you? The back again?" she addressed her ex-husband.

He slowly shook his head. "This time it's the hip." He laughed tonelessly. "I'm an old man, remember?"

He floundered as he explained, and Paul helped him out. "Osteoarthritis. Unfortunately."

Margaux's eyes widened. "Oh, Reesh, this is not good. Have you seen a doc?" She hooked up with him and Maxime took Paul's hand as a matter of course. Together they walked to Paul's car in the large parking lot at Berlin-Brandenburg Airport.

*

"You can't come? That's such a shame, Merlin, but it can't be helped. Yeah, sure, I'll pass it on. I'll definitely see you in January. Take care of yourself. Have a great Christmas already, big guy." Thoughtfully, Richard pressed the little red receiver on his cell phone, then looked around at the small group consisting of Paul, Margaux, Khira and Maxime. "He got a job in Australia, now of all times. Oh well, can't be helped." He sat down awkwardly on the big sofa and his little daughter jumped next to him.

Paul felt somehow superfluous right now. "I make coffee." With that, he disappeared into Richard's elegant kitchen, shoulders drooping.

Margaux looked at Richard in amazement. "What's wrong with him?" She had noticed, of course, that Paul was somehow sad.

"It's a longer story, Marg." She sat down next to him. "Not in front of the kids, okay?"

Khira had understood and was now pulling Maxime along with her. "What do you say we play a game of Monopoly at my place, huh?" She looked lovingly at her half-sister. Maxime didn't know how to act and looked from her father back to her mother and back.

"You go ahead, sweetheart. We'll have something to eat in a minute. I'll let you know then." He lovingly stroked his little daughter's rosy cheek. She hugged her father again and disappeared with Khira one floor down, where Khira had a small apartment.

*

Paul had come back into Richard's living room with a tray full of coffee cups, milk, coffee pot and sugar and now sat down with the two of them at the large dining table. He distributed the dishes and poured each a large coffee pot full. Then he literally held on to his cup and stared ahead without saying anything, which was rather rare with him. Margaux had also known him long enough that she noticed right away that Paul was unusually quiet.

"What's wrong with you guys? Something's wrong!" she also immediately began to ask. Richard and Paul looked at each other in alarm. Now they had to show their colors, which was incredibly difficult for both of them. No one knew how Margaux would take it. But keeping quiet wasn't an option either, so Richard took heart.

"You may have noticed that something is different about us than before...", Richard wanted to begin awkwardly, but Paul cut him off. He couldn't take it anymore, he finally wanted to tell the truth. He soothingly put his hand on Richard's arm.

"Ssh, let me. Okay?" With that, he stood up, stroked his face once in agitation, and paced the room. It was so hard, but Margaux made it easy. She stood up as well.

"Paul, what's going on between you two? I saw the way you were looking at Richard." He turned around, startled. "You're having a thing, aren't you?" Wow, that was fast. Paul nodded, kind of affected, and Richard felt himself get a little smaller. Was it that obvious? Margaux sat back down, perplexed, so she hadn't been wrong.

"Yes, that's right. We love each other. But that's not all."

She looked at him expectantly. "What, not all of it? What's still to come? That alone is already... how do you say with you... a boomerang?"

Paul sat back down at the table and Margaux also took her seat again. "Well, you know about Richard's new flame, but I also have a new girlfriend. Somehow it happened at the same time in Hamburg."

"What? Paul, you can't be serious. You have a new girlfriend too? You've got to be kidding me. I think I'm out of the loop. What about Arielle?

"That's the problem, my beloved ex has fucked off, just like that, when we were on tour. She moved out, took all her stuff with her and got herself a new guy."

"No, right? And you? Didn't you fight for her?" She was speechless.

"Yes, I tried, but no chance. I suffered for a long time. Till had hired a private detective, but he only found out that she had a new relationship. At first, Mr Mueller thought that she had been drugged, but that wasn't the case. She left me with full conviction. After more than 20 years. That hurts already. The last gig wasn't that long ago, she was ice cold and even dragged Schneider's Uli into it." Margaux shook her head. All this was unbelievable. Richard had told her a little, but that it was all so violent, she did not know.

"And how did it come about that you two...well, you know?!" She looked from one to the other and again she saw those looks, they really sank into each other's eyes.

"Paul actually just wanted to piss off Olli and Schneider, because they always screwed us over so much because of our stage kisses. One day he sat down on my lap and kissed me. And that's when I noticed that it left me anything but cold." He was kind of embarrassed now, to spill such intimate things in front of Margaux, but again Paul helped him.

"Yes, and so did I. Then we tried again to see if it was just a mistake. But it wasn't. We both wanted more. That same night I just tried to see if there was more and went to Richard's room. And there we slept together for the first time. It was wonderful and from that moment at least I knew that I had lost. Namely, my heart to that slob there." He pointed at Richard and grinned cheekily. "So, the short version. We love each other. Haste yes already noticed."

"Hm. But how.... I can't say that in German.... So.... How did you both know what to do with each other in bed. I mean, there are guaranteed rules or so-called codes, right? That's something else again than when you sleep as a man with a woman."

"Well, for my part, I can only say that I have had gay experiences in my youth."

Richard nodded at that. "Yes, Marg, me too. Back then already in the wrestling team and later in West-Berlin." He looked down at the floor, ashamed, but Margaux took his chin, making him look at her.

"Hey, darlin'...that's great that you at least knew what to do." She smiled lovingly at both of them. But then she turned serious again.

"Uh.... And how did your girls react, I mean, that's pretty ... how do you say? Special?"

"The two visited us on tour, traveled to Spain. They found out by chance, caught us red-handed, so to speak. First my Jenny collapsed in the hotel lobby and Sylvie went berserk and insulted Richard. After the initial shock, we sat down together and discussed everything. The only point they both don't want to know is that we don't tell about any raunchy things we both do with each other. Everything else is going well."

"And what about the others you work with? Your colleagues and friends? Do they all know about you?"

"Yes, by now even our crew knows," Richard now rejoined the conversation.

"And the women just go along with it? Respect, I don't think I could do that." She reached for her coffee cup and tried to calm down a bit. "Do your kids know about this?"

"Yes, partially," Richard tried to reassure his ex-wife.

"My kids were really cool about it. Emil even said he kind of always suspected it." Paul smiled. Lilly had been a bit more reserved, but since she adored Richard, she was ultimately overjoyed that her father was having a thing with the "most beautiful man in the whole world."

"Maxime doesn't, of course," Richard now interjected.

"She doesn't need to know that right now either. It is better this way." Margaux would have expected many things, but that her ex-husband had an affair with one of his best friends, that was simply unbelievable. But she also saw how affectionate the two of them were with each other. She never would have guessed that Paul was into men, too. She had always been unsure about Richard, even during their marriage. He'd been hit on a lot, and not just by women. And she would never have sworn that he wouldn't have fallen for a good-looking man once or twice. He had just confirmed that together with Paul. In his youth, the two of them had left no stone unturned, in both directions.

Paul's phone suddenly rang and everyone was a little startled. He reached into his pants pocket in an agitated manner. "Landers?" He stood up, shrugged apologetically, and ducked out onto Richard's roof deck.

Margaux and Richard watched him thoughtfully. He gestured excitedly, and when he came back into the living room, tears were streaming from his eyes. Richard immediately stood up, he was not so fast because of his hip, but he took him in his arms and slowly the smaller man calmed down. "Don't worry, these are tears of joy. It was Jenny. De beedn arrive tomorrow morning at ten at the main station. I have to pick her up."

Richard started to move again. "Really, that's nice. I'll come with you, of course." He stroked Paul and slowly staggered towards the kitchen. "But now I'll take care of the food first, will you set the table?"

With that, he disappeared, and Margaux and Paul got the dishes out of the small display case in the living room. He was a mess sometimes, Margaux thought about her ex-husband and smiled to herself. It was nice that Paul was there to bring him back down.

Chapter Text

"You're going to be a father again? How nice, oh Richard, I'm really happy for you!" Margaux was delighted. In all the excitement, they had simply overlooked this very unimportant point. Richard was beaming all over. They were at dinner and Khira and Maxime were also now back in Richard's penthouse. "That's not true now, Dad...Sylvie is pregnant?" Khira dropped her fork.

"Yes, dear, she is. I was more than surprised by the news myself." Richard smiled.

"Didn't you use birth control?" She spoke softly, for Maxime had dozed off on the couch next to her father and for her small ears such talk was not meant.

"Yes we did, but apparently it wasn't enough. After the initial excitement, though, I'm glad to be a father after all." He nodded in affirmation.

"And Sylvie, how is she doing with it? I mean, she lives in Hamburg. You have to take care of her, don't you? Have you already talked about the extent to which..." Khira didn't get any further, because Richard put his fingers over her mouth.

"Shh. It's all good. Jenny and Sylvie are arriving tomorrow morning, and I've discussed with my sweetie that we'll have plenty of time over the holidays to find something together."

"You want to move out of here?" Khira was honestly startled.

"Well, not exactly. The studio stays and you in your apartment, of course. We'll try to find something close by."

"But why don't you two stay here? There's plenty of room here, even for a little worm."

Now Paul chimed in. "I agree, but your dad doesn't think it's possible because of the studio and all his junk."

Richard turned to him. "But that's also true. This place would have to be rearranged first."

"Yes, and? We'll figure it out. Don't worry so much, honey." With that, he gently stroked his cheek.

Margaux also found the whole situation unusual, but also nice; her ex-husband was pretty cool with everything, even though his health wasn't doing so well at the moment. She patted his arm. "You'll be fine, I'm sure of it, Reesh!"

Richard conceded defeat. "Hmm, okay, I'll have to check with Sylvie first, though. Dessert?" He grinned to the crowd. Then he leaned over to his ex, pressed a kiss to her cheek, and disappeared into his kitchen.

*

Schneider stood indecisively at Ulrike's parents' front door, as excited as he was on their first date. What was he supposed to say, please? How would she react to him just standing there in front of her? But it didn't help, he had to go through with it if he wanted to save his marriage somehow. Determined, he pressed the doorbell. At first it was very quiet in the house, then footsteps came to the door and Ulrike's mother opened it. When she saw her son-in-law, she let out a startled cry and pressed her hand over her mouth.

"Christoph, oh my God... how beautiful..." Tears slowly dripped from her eyes. She cried and he took the petite woman in his arms. Slowly he pushed the door shut behind him and followed her into the house. From inside he heard laughter and the babbling of his three sons.

He felt a little woozy, realizing how much he had missed it all. "I was so hoping you'd come around after all...and now you're just here...I keep saying it, miracles still happen..." She sniffled, then tightened and resolutely pulled him with her. "Come on, Chris, I hope Uli doesn't get all worked up again. She's not doing so well right now. She's gotten so thin." Concerned, Uli's mother looked at the big man. "But you don't look so good either, my boy! What have you done to yourselves? I still don't understand it all." She slowly pulled Schneider with her into the large living room.

Schneider was so perplexed by it all that he was literally speechless. He quietly walked behind Ulrike's mother, and when they were both standing in the living room, Ulrike let out a hoarse cry. She could not believe that her beloved husband was standing in front of her. She jumped up, stumbled a bit on the carpet and Schneider caught her gallantly. She virtually threw herself into his arms and, sobbing, she snuggled up to him. "Oh Christoph.... I... I...." That was as far as she got, she was too upset. Like a drowning woman, she pressed herself against him and would not let go.

Schneider himself also wrapped his arms around his wife, who had really lost a noticeable amount of weight. Ulrike had never been fat, but at the moment he had more bone than flesh in his arms. He kissed her lovingly on the hair. "Come on, honey, let's sit down."

In the back of the living room, her sons were playing, not yet realizing that their father had suddenly reappeared.

At that moment Ulrike's father came into the living room, startled, he dropped the tray with the coffee cups and it clattered loudly, startling the children so much that the smallest of them began to cry. Ulrike quickly jumped up and took care of her youngest.

Ulrike's father sank down on the back of the spacious sofa and couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Boy, what are you doing here?" he just managed to get out, and now tears were running down his face, too, although he wasn't built as close to the water as his wife, but rather controlled and sober.

A little later they all sat around the round dining table and Ulrike told her incredible story. Schneider couldn't believe it all, it was so surreal and unbelievable. "And how do you imagine all this now?" he asked Ulrike uncertainly, because he would have liked to wrap her up, together with the children, and never let her go again. She stroked his hair lovingly.

"If you still want me?" He kissed her affectionately, pressing his wife against him in relief for the umpteenth time.

"I've always wanted you, Uli, it's just that you hurt me so much that I just couldn't understand. Why didn't you say something sooner? Surely I could have helped you."

"Because I was under that influence that Arielle sprays."

"Yeah, but what's all this about this cult?" Schneider took another piece of cake from his plate and bit into it heartily.

"I don't really see through that either. She was always talking about the plans they weren't going to let anyone ruin. Her and this new guy she's with now."

Schneider nodded. "I don't know if it's really a cult, either. They were always talking about some stuff I didn't understand, like saving the world and that they had to be careful of those who had made human connections with these...what did she call it?... Infidels."

"Man, that sounds like those radical groups who also think the Western world is completely infidel. What did they call them again?" He looked strained.

"Salafists, I think they were called," Ulrike's mother interrupted the conversation. "Unfortunately, all these gangs have become so surprisingly big here in Berlin that you could really get scared." She shivered a little.

"Well, it's not like these people are going to show up at your door right away," Schneider placated his mother-in-law. "But you should be very careful who you get involved with." He looked at Ulrike again. "Is this new guy from Ari also one of those people?"

"Nah, he looks pretty Nordic and is quite attractive!" came Ulrike's reply.

Schneider couldn't understand all this, Paul was also attractive, loving and selfless. What had gotten into Arielle's head? He hoped that she would get out of it someday. He turned back to his wife. "Just be glad your doc got you out of there. Otherwise you'd still be so blinded." He put his index finger to his lips. "What do you think? Is there any way to get Ari out of there, or is it all too late?"

"I really don't know, Chris. Is that private investigator from Till still on the case, then?" Schneider nodded again.

"Yes, he is. Paul gets regular updates from this Mr Mueller on how things are going with his ex-wife. But they haven't really figured it out yet either." He paused for a moment. "Have you thought about what we're doing for Christmas?" He looked apologetically around at his in-laws. "You guys do your Christmas together, kid. You need time for yourselves and your relationship now." That had been Ulrike's father. Ulrike looked lovingly at her parents.

"Well, I thought maybe it would be quite good if we all celebrated together." The idea had come to him spontaneously; all he had to do was ask the two lovebirds and, of course, Richard and Paul's families and new girlfriends.

"All together?"

"Yeah, not really everyone; Flake and Olli are with their families and Till is with his latest conquest from Italy!" Schneider grinned broadly all over his face and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Till made a new conquest?" She grinned. "Tell me!" She moved closer to him. "And most of all, tell about your trip together. How was it?"

Schneider looked around the room, and as three interested pairs of eyes looked at him, he began to tell.

*

Paul and Richard were both standing excitedly at the main train station in Berlin, waiting for the train from Hamburg. This had, how should it be different, once again late. Deutsche Bahn, as they loved it.

"I'm going for a smoke!"

With that, Richard already wanted to wiggle in the direction of the smoking area, but Paul held him back. "What did Uncle Till say? Less smokes..." He looked at him seriously.

"Yes, but not now. Now that I'm so excited." He untangled himself from Paul somewhat unwillingly and trudged on. He could be as stubborn as his friend. Paul shook his head and trotted after him.

They were both still dead tired, last night had been long and beautiful and the meal Richard had conjured up was delicious.

"God, when I think about it... My sweetie, my ex, my kids, except Merlin, you of course, Jenny... It's already not going to be such a cozy little Christmas, but rather the slightly bigger round." Richard looked thoughtfully ahead of him.

Paul had his arm wrapped around his waist and nodded affirmatively. "Well, it'll be all right. You're not alone, I'll help. And so is everyone else." Then suddenly his phone rang. "Hold this!" With that, he handed Richard his smoked cigarette and laboriously pulled his cell phone out of his pants pocket. "Christoph, what's up?" Strained, Paul listened. "Okay, he's standing right next to me. I'll have to ask him first, and I'll get back to you."

With that he hung up and looked attentively at Richard. Richard gave him back the cigarette and put on a questioning look. "Um, joah. So, this is so...", Paul pressed around.

"Well tell me, what's wrong?" Paul looked at the floor and nervously stepped from one leg to the other. "Uh, well... Chris and Ulrike have got out of it and would love to spend Christmas together with us." He pulled his shoulders up apologetically.

"What?" Richard seemed not amused.

"Yeah, without kids this time, they're staying with their parents. So, I think it's good that they finally spoke up and want to celebrate with us."

"Yeah, sure, that's great, but..."

Paul put his fingers over Richard's mouth. "Look at it this way. It's a new beginning for them! Man, how long did Schneider suffer? We should be happy with him." At this, he looked down again, because his own misery came back to his mind. "I would have been happy, too, if that had been the case with Ari."

Richard looked at Paul, realizing that the smaller man was once again fighting tears. "Hey, shhh, all good. We'll get these two fed up too. But right now we need our girls to arrive." He hugged Paul to him and gave him a kiss on the hair. At that moment, the long-awaited train finally arrived and the two gentlemen became even more nervous.

*

"There they are, there they are." Richard tried to run, but his hip meant he wasn't quite as fast, which annoyed the hell out of him.

"Gee, honey, you just relax. They won't run away from us!" With that, Paul hooked up with Richard. They now walked more slowly to the area where their two girls would get off the train.

Huge numbers of people were on the rather spacious platform at Berlin Central Station, but their two girls still stood out, simply because they moved so elegantly. Richard and Paul smirked, probably thinking the same thing.

Searchingly, Jenny and Sylvie looked around and when they finally spotted them, their steps quickened.

"God, it's so good to hug you again." Paul lovingly hugged his girlfriend.

"I can only return that, beautiful man. But it wasn't that long ago." She grinned at him and shook her dark curls. Beside them, Sylvie was now crying in Richard's arms. Hormones, Paul thought, smiling to himself.

"Do we want to go? It's all getting too crowded for me here right now!" Paul grabbed Jenny's suitcase and Richard took his girlfriend's suitcase. Together they meandered through the crowds to the parking garage.

*

A little later in front of Paul's apartment. He had quickly driven Richard and Sylvie to Richard's place and was just putting the car in the small courtyard. But as he was about to get out, Jenny held him and leaned over to him.

"You wouldn't believe how excited I am for Christmas this year. Especially, the first one with you." With that, she put her hands around his face and tenderly pressed her lips to his mouth. The latter returned the kiss and the two were now sitting in the car making out like teenagers.

"Okay, okay..." he broke away from her. "Maybe we should go deeper into that upstairs? What do you think?" He gave her a dirty grin and Jenny nodded. With that, they got out of the car, Paul got her suitcase out of the trunk, and arm in arm, they walked rather briskly to the front door.

*

"Paul... oh.... Pauuuuul." Jenny squeezed his butt tightly against her and pushed through her back. Paul was ready too, and he poured himself deep inside her. She had her legs wrapped around him and was holding onto him tightly. Paul slowly tried to catch his breath and now gently stroked her face, then kissed her. Tears ran from her beautiful flashing eyes.

"Don't cry, sweetie. What's wrong?" He brushed the tears from her cheeks and continued kissing her.

"I'm just so happy with you, Paul, so happy." Slowly, he pulled out of her and lay down beside her, exhausted. She turned to him and pressed herself close.

"I’m happy too." He smiled. Yes, it was true, he was happy to have his Jenny, even if this whole situation was not easy for either of them. And again his thoughts were with Richard. I wonder if he had also slept with his girlfriend? Certainly. He was brooding again. It always gave him a little stab in the heart when he thought about his Richard sharing the most intimate thing in life with his girlfriend. And he was also constantly afraid that Richard would change his mind and forget him despite everything, at least on this very special level.

He looked down at his girlfriend, she had fallen asleep. Why did he have such nonsensical thoughts, please? Richard loved him, he knew that very well, and he loved him too. How could he, after having just had sex with his girlfriend, think of such things? It was certainly not normal.

At that moment, his cell phone buzzed. He awkwardly reached for it on the small nightstand. And again he saw a small heart on the display, the message was from Richard. He had thought of him, too. Maybe he felt the same way?

He lay back and grinned all over his face. It had been far too long since he had been alone with him. At the moment he couldn't either, as long as Jenny was here. She would definitely stay until New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve itself, she unfortunately had to work, the small pub in Hamburg was busy that day and Kalle unfortunately could not do without her, even if he had hired two more substitutes.

But was she just a substitute and an excuse? He had been asking himself this question for a long time and had not found an answer to it until now. He urgently needed to talk to Richard again and also to her, this could not go on like this.

The cell phone buzzed again. "Miss you" was now written on the small screen of the cell phone, and Paul's heart began to pound violently. He picked up the small phone again and typed, "Me too." The prompt reply came with a big smiley face in the shape of a heart. He missed him a lot, too. "We should talk again." he sent his message now.

No reply.

The day after tomorrow they were invited to Richard's for dinner, on Christmas Eve, he was really looking forward to that, but before that he had to sort it out. It wasn't that late in the day now, maybe he should try Richard again? He got up a little shakily, gave his girlfriend a little kiss, due to which she hugged the pillow and went back to sleep. He took his cell phone and wandered into the bathroom.

Chapter Text

Paul had quickly showered and texted Richard again. He had then called back, and Paul was glad that he had taken the cell phone with him into the bathroom. Richard had suggested that they meet at his place, there was more space and Sylvie was still on the road, had probably met with a friend from Hamburg, who had moved to Berlin two years ago. In other words, they were off duty - and Paul was as nervous as on the first date.

Excited, he just stood in front of Richard's front door. Maybe he was worrying too much again and everything was only half-wild. But it all helped nothing, he had to sort this out now and so he resolutely pressed the doorbell.

"Hey, Paulchen. Glad you're here." With that, Richard hugged him warmly and pulled him into his penthouse with him. Paul brushed off his coat and hung it neatly on Richard's coat rack.

And as he stood indecisively in the hallway, Richard pulled him along again. "What's the matter, I've never known you so calm?" Paul tried a grin, but failed, and followed Richard. Together they sat down on the spacious sofa. "Want a drink?" With that, Richard literally wanted to jump off the couch again, but Paul pulled him back. He had to sort this out now, or he'd just be putting it off again.

"Nah, not at the moment. Reesh, I need to know something. And I mean now." Richard leaned forward now that he was sitting across from Paul and put his hands on Paul's knees, making Paul sweat a little more.

He looked at him with wide expectant eyes. "Okay, what's up?"

"Reesh...I...ick...man, this is hard!" Paul rolled his eyes upward, then took a deep breath and started again. "I know this is going to come across as completely stupid, but I slept with my Jenny earlier and afterwards I couldn't stop thinking about you. I can't get away from it now. And my head tells me all the time that I'll lose you if you don't want me anymore." Phew, that was out!

Richard looked at Paul uncomprehendingly and then began to laugh uproariously. He couldn't contain himself any longer, and Paul was getting more and more nervous. Was this the reaction Richard showed when he got tired of someone?

Now Richard stood up again and paced back and forth in his living room. Then he stopped, straining to stand in front of him, and made an announcement to him that was a big one. "Tell me, what do you actually think of me? That I'm going to drop you like a hot potato just because we can't see each other for a few days and touch each other all the time? What's that all about? You're driving me crazy with your constant questioning!" He tigered off again.

"But, but… me...," Paul started again, but Richard cut him off.

"So, either you stand by me, no matter what, and believe with all your senses, too, that I love you, just like I told you I would, or else... worst case scenario... we end it all between us - right now, right here!"

He stopped and gave Paul a nasty look. The latter flinched back slightly.

"Man, Reesh, I didn't mean any of that."

"But it comes across that way, Paul. What more do you want as proof? You've got everything from me that I can and will give you."

"No, I just don't have that. I don't know how it will all turn out once the little one is born. Maybe you don't know me then, so outside of the band. That's possible." Paul shook his head. "Isn't it?"

Richard now sat down again and stroked Paul's arm. "Oh, Paul, how it all turns out, none of us knows. But why are you worrying about it already? We'll see all that, won't we?"

"See, that's what I mean. You don't know that either."

"How could I? Let's enjoy our time together. Neither of us can see into the future."

"I know. But I just can't go on like this at the moment. It's all driving me crazy."

Richard looked at him sadly. "And that's supposed to mean something now?" He suspected something bad.

"I think I need a break from you, from us!"

"What? Why? Just because you're so worried about unlaid eggs?" Paul nodded.

Richard tried to remain matter-of-fact. "And that's why you want time off?"

"Yes, damn it. I need to regenerate somehow. And the only way I can do that is if you're not around me all the time." He looked at Richard sadly.

"That's just great. And what about Christmas?"

"I don't know. I'll ask my girlfriend if we can celebrate in Hamburg after all." With that he stood up determinedly, he had made a plan. "Have a nice Christmas, Reesh... and don't be mad at me, I really need to get alone first and think about it. I'll be in touch!" With that, he practically shot into Richard's hallway, grabbed his coat and was out the door before Richard could even react.

*

"We're celebrating Christmas in Hamburg!" This sentence Paul said in the chest tone of the conviction straight his Jenny in the middle of the face. With beating heart he had hurried home and found the thought better and better. He had to get out of here, he had to have some distance from Richard, otherwise he would go crazy.

"But why? We just arrived from Hamburg today, didn't we? Why don't you want to celebrate at Richard's. I was so looking forward to seeing everyone. And what about Sylvie?" She couldn't make sense of it. "Paul, please look at me. WHAT'S THE MATTER?" The latter had let go of her hands again and was now leaning strained against his kitchen counter.

"Little girl, I just can't take it anymore. The whole thing with you, with Reesh, the relationship with the four of us, it's killing me at the moment. I don't know if it's because of Christmas or because we still don't know what's going on with Ari. I just don't know. I only know one thing, I have to get out of here. Preferably far away."

"Well, Hamburg isn't that far away."

"Yeah, that's true, but..."

Jenny stood up and came toward him. "Honey, honestly? I want to celebrate Christmas here with Richard, with Sylvie, with Richard's family, with Christoph and his wife and of course with you. All of us together!" She had tears in her eyes and was now hugging her boyfriend tightly. "We knew from the beginning that this wasn't going to be easy. But until now, I always thought it was going well."

"I thought so too. But sometimes ... well, I mean.... I just have needs sometimes, and right now I'd like to be with Richard.... Well, you know!" He was so embarrassed, but his girlfriend wouldn't be his girlfriend if she didn't understand. He didn't deserve her at all, she was just great.

She grinned cheekily at him. "Then I'd say you apologize to him now and let your needs run wild?"

"What??? Um, that's... But what about you? I can't leave you alone right now just because I want to fuck Richard." He looked down at his feet in shame. "God, this is embarrassing."

"Don't make such a fuss, Paul. That's exactly what I was trying to say! I'll make myself comfortable here with you, I know where you are. Besides, the new season of my favorite show starts today." Paul looked at Jenny uncomprehendingly. He couldn't even comprehend it, she was literally sending him to her competitor. Unbelievable. How could a person be so selfless? He was flabbergasted.

"And what should I tell Richard? That my girlfriend sort of encouraged me to throw myself at my boyfriend's neck? I don't know how he'll react. Reesh is guaranteed to be pissed as hell, the way I blew up at him."

"Well, Paul, you'll have to sort it out now. How can you be such a hothead? I'd be mad too if I were Richard."

"Jenny, I really don't know what to say. You're just a stunner." He looked at her standing in front of him with flashing eyes.

"I'd love to. And when I'm done eating tomorrow, apparently a stunner, if Richard really cooks as great as you've always told me." She laughed. "Now get out there - have fun and only do what I would do."

"Yes, ma'am." He saluted and put his coat back on. And now he was even more nervous. How would Richard react if he came back remorseful?

*

Said Richard first reacted as one would have expected. "What else do you want?" came an annoyed voice from the intercom. Sure, he himself would have reacted the same way if Richard had run out of his apartment like that.

"Reesh, I... I wanted to talk to you again," Paul said meekly, his heart pounding loudly in his chest.

"Oh, yeah? Actually, you've said it all, and you've said it clearly."

Paul felt like a supplicant at Richard's front door. "Geez, Reesh, let us in, this is silly now. We're cold outside." Paul froze and rubbed his cold hands against each other. He had forgotten his gloves again.

"It's your own fault, Paul. You could have had it all different!" Paul looked at the intercom with the small display as if it were his final opponent. This couldn't be true now. Had he heard wrong? Was Richard really that ice cold? He really just left him standing there? But running after him? Nah, he still had a little pride. Good, then it was like that. Then Mr RZK didn't need to imagine that he was.... Then there was a buzz and the door opened. Paul was relieved. He pressed the top button in the elevator and his heart leapt in his chest.

Richard stood at his apartment door like an avenging angel, looking at him arrogantly from those incredible eyes. "Well, what more do you want to talk about? I thought it was all said. After all, you made that clear by just walking away."

That's it, Paul thought. "Okay, then it's like this!" With that he wanted to turn around, but he had done the math without Richard. The latter took a step forward, turned Paul towards him, grabbed him hard by the neck and pulled him into his apartment with him. He kicked the apartment door shut with his foot and pressed Paul relentlessly against the wood. Words were unnecessary as Richard bridged the distance to Paul and pressed his lips hard to the smaller man's.

As he did so, he pulled the heavy coat from Paul's shoulders and somewhat awkwardly got down on his knees. As he did so, he pulled Paul's comfortable sweatpants down and the boxers right along with them.

Without further ado he grabbed Paul's best piece and put his lips around the still flaccid cock without being asked. He looked up with pleasure and now licked and sucked on it. Paul became completely different and his knees became more than soft. What was that, please? A sexual assault, almost like in a bad movie? But the look of Richard alone was really worth every sin. Hadn't he gone back to him for that very reason?

He pushed his pelvis towards Richard and closed his eyes in surrender. The smacking sounds alone, which Richard made, intensified Paul's lust and he sighed loudly. He would have imagined it all much more tender, but this rough behavior also had its very own charm. Paul had never gotten hard so quickly.

Richard now took his hands and kneaded Paul's butt and pushed against his cock himself. Paul had buried his hands fahrig in Richard's spiked hairdo and was coming towards him with frantic movements. In a moment.... he would be ready, he could take no more, he felt his legs give way and at the same moment he poured out. And Richard swallowed. When he released him, Paul also sank to his knees and relieved, he hugged the younger man.

Both grinned at each other through tears. " I didn't know you could be like that." Paul kissed Richard and together they shakily got back to their feet. " I think that was the shortest blowjob I have ever experienced."

"Actually, I don't let anyone treat me like that, Paul. Not even from you, I just wanted to say that again. That's why I couldn't help myself. Apparently that's the only language you understand." Now those wonderful gray eyes were looking right at Paul.

That's as far as he got, because Paul was now kissing him directly on the mouth. He pressed himself very close to him and rubbed against him a little. But Richard was still on the edge. Determined, he pushed him away. "Nah, you're not getting away from me that easy. You wanted to talk. So please, here I am! Shoot!" With that, he walked past him and sat down across the room in his sofa. Broad-legged, he sat there with both arms draped over the backs.

"Geez, Reesh, it's not all that simple." Paul sat down next to him and rested his head on Richard's shoulder.

"Then explain it to me. What's not so easy?"

„Well, the whole thing. You know, with you, with Jenny, with your girlfriend, that you're going to be a father again, and also the thing with Arielle... I just can't get the thoughts out of my head that... well, that you don't love me enough to handle it all. You know?“ He looked at his hands, which were shaking. Richard had put his head back and closed his eyes. Now he opened them again and looked straight at Paul.

"Paulchen, why on earth are you worrying so much? And why now of all times? Is it because of Christmas that you are suddenly so sentimental?" He stroked him on the head. Paul looked up at him and a single tear stole from his dark blue eyes. Gruffly, Paul wiped it away.

"That's probably it. You know, I've always loved Christmas and somehow this makes me think. What's going to happen to us, we won't be younger, you daddy again, my sweetie, your sweetie, the little worm, will it all work out?"

Richard moved closer to him. And stroked very gently over his cheek and the gray stubble, he kissed the curved mouth and Paul sighed in surrender. He couldn't resist Richard's caresses, and he didn't want to. He missed him, it had been far too long since they had made love.

*

Richard and Paul had moved into the spacious bedroom, and Paul was in the process of removing Richard's black shirt. As always, he took his time enjoying the sight and sounds of Richard doing it. He was still excited and all his relief had flowed into his center. He could tell he was starting to get hard again and Richard's moans were a big part of that. Besides, he had his girlfriend's "permission", so to speak, to do to Richard everything they both hadn't gotten around to doing in the last few days.

"Paul, please.... Don't keep me waiting!" sighed Richard, squirming restlessly in his big box spring bed.

"Psssh, I'll do it!" And with that, Paul devotedly tended to the body in front of him, on which he loved every single square inch. Small beads of sweat could be seen on Richard's chest and irregularly his chest rose and fell.

Paul stroked the collarbones, pinched the small hard nipples briefly and kissed his way towards the waistband of his pants with wet lips. He stroked one hand over the bulge that appeared in Richard's pants and grinned wickedly at him. And again very slowly, he undid the belt buckle and undid the buttons at a slow-motion pace, making Richard hiss for him to speed up.

"Paul, I can't take it anymore, please!" He thrust with jerky movements toward the stroking hand. When Paul finally got his pants undone, he paused and looked down at his friend. He grinned diabolically and pushed himself back up to kiss Richard's mouth.

The latter opened his mouth and Paul's tongue snaked jerkily into the other's mouth. Extensively it played around the other tongue and then pushed forward enough to make Richard gag a little.

Richard had his hands on Paul's hips and was now slowly stripping his pants including boxers off his tight ass. Paul had already taken off his top. "Hey, don't be in such a hurry!" At that moment Paul's hardness was already plopping out of his shorts and towards Richard. He rubbed himself fiercely against Richard and kissed the swollen lips with an intensity that made Richard feel quite dizzy. Paul acted as if this was the last time they would perform such intense sexual acts on each other.

"Man, I missed you so much. Hm, and you smell so good." And then he pulled Richard's pants fully down and Richards kicked them off along with his socks. Now he was lying nicely like Adonis in front of Paul and he was kissing his way south again, stroking the insides of Richard's thighs. He had spread his legs a little and lifted his pelvis a little. Paul fixed him and now took intensive care of Richard's hot throbbing member.

He tenderly kissed his way up the shaft and stroked Richard's testicles. Then he took it into his mouth and let it slide out of his lips again and again. Saliva had formed on Paul's lips and with it he now continued to lick Richard's cock, so that once again it looked as if Richard had already come.

Richard was watching him from above and this sight made his cock even harder than it already was. "Paul.... Oh... you're driving me crazy ..." Paul continued to stroke Richard's lower belly with one hand. He noticed Richard's stomach muscles tighten. Richard now had his head leaned back and pressed very firmly into the pillow, holding onto the headboard of the bed for support.

What Paul was doing there with his mouth was so forbidden and so good that he was about to jump over the so-called cliff. But all at once Paul's warm mouth disappeared from his cock, and Richard was disappointed. He looked down again. Paul now crawled back up and kissed Richard again on the mouth. He tasted himself and it was kind of a fucking turn-on.

They looked into each other's eyes as Paul paused and without saying a word, it was clear that today Paul would take the active part. Paul leaned way over Richard and the other side of the bed. He pulled open Richard's nightstand drawer, he knew where to find lube and condoms. He took only the lube.

"Come here, I want to feel you deep inside me!" gasped Richard towards him. Paul smirked. Yes, he knew Richard was into dirty talk, he had infected him with it.

He sat up a little, took some of the cool gel and smeared his fingers with it. He played around the little rosette, bent over again and licked and kissed his way down the little crack. As he did so, his tongue kept poking into the tiny opening and with his hands he pulled Richard's entrance apart, then slowly penetrated Richard's tight ass with one finger. With his other hand he now kneaded Richard's one ass cheek, the firm flesh felt wonderful under his hands.

Richard came even more towards him and Paul instantly found the most sensitive spot inside Richard and rubbed firmly over it. Richard had touched himself now and was frantically rubbing up and down his cock, moaning loudly. Paul added a second finger.

"Please, Paul, do it already!", Richard managed. He licked his own lips and the sight of his wet lips drove Paul crazy.

He withdrew his fingers and hastily smeared some gel on his hardness. Then he took his cock in his hand and very slowly pushed himself into Richard's tightness. This went better than expected, and Richard spread his legs a little wider. Paul propped himself up on Richard's thighs and thrust slowly and then faster.

They had both immediately found a common rhythm that was not too violent, but not too gentle either. Gasps and the slapping of two sweaty bodies against each other could be heard in the bedroom.

Paul moved closer again and kissed Richard, pushing his tongue very deep into Richard's mouth and his rolling pelvic movements were now becoming more uncoordinated. "Oh God, Paul, please take me harder!"

Paul didn't need to be told twice and lifted one of Richard's legs over his shoulder to thrust deeper and quite hard into him. Now Richard's face was contorted in pain, which made Paul pause, startled. "I won't hurt there, Reesh...me..." Richard looked at him out of lust-fogged eyes and shook his head.

"It's okay...go as hard as you can, Paul, and deeper!" Paul put his head back and let his body act automatically. He kept bumping into Richard's pleasure spot and suddenly he was pouring warmly into him, he hadn't been able to anticipate his climax, it came so violently and surprisingly. Richard himself poured warmly over his own hand and belly almost simultaneously. Paul was still thrusting, although both had reached their climax. Exhausted, he let himself fall on top of Richard and still stayed inside him, knowing that Richard loved it, just as he did. They both struggled to catch their breath.

Later, they lay close together in Richard's bed. Paul stroked Richard's chest, lost in thought, playing with the little hairs. "Well, we haven't really talked yet."

Richard grinned at him. "True, but actually we don't have to. That I love you and never want to lose you, I don't have to keep telling you that. That is and STILL is!" he told him emphatically. He punctuated his statement with a little kiss on Paul's high forehead. "We'll get it all worked out. If we stick together! I wonder how you come up with something like that anyway?"

Paul nodded thoughtfully. "Well, you've never lasted long with any chicks. And so I thought..."

Richard put a finger to his lips. "But now this nonsense is over. Since when are you one of my so-called chicks?"

Paul closed his eyes. "Yes, you're right... Different subject. What's with the pain in your hip? I haven't noticed it for the last few minutes." He blushed, thinking of her erotic outpourings in the last few minutes.

"It's gotten a little better. Don't worry about it. Like I said, exercise is always good." At that, he grinned cheekily at Paul. "I don't care what kind of exercise." Now he laughed out loud. "Another round?"

"Kruspe, you are really impossible, you know?" At this he moved very close to Richard and spread little kisses on his soft skin. " But why not? I can still..." He buried his face in Richard's nether regions again now....

Chapter Text

"Tell me, are they still coming or not?" Paul stood with Richard in his kitchen, leaning against the kitchen island. Richard was stirring in a large pot and now took a small spoon to taste the food. He shrugged his shoulders.

The living room had become crowded. Margaux, Jenny and Sylvie were in the middle of telling some kind of things they had experienced. Maxime was playing Mau-Mau with Khira at the smaller table next door.

The apartment doorbell rang and Paul darted out of the kitchen into the hallway like a berserker to answer it. "There you are at last." Schneider and Ulrike entered the hallway and Paul took their coats from them. It had gotten cold in Berlin and the two were wrapped up thickly.

"What, did you miss me already, kid?" With that, Schneider pressed Paul to him and gave him a peck on the hair, like a little boy.

"Ey, I'm not small.", Paul complained and Richard called from the kitchen "At least he has parts on him that are very big."

Schneider covered his ears. "Oh no, no details please. I don't want to know that much detail." Ulrike had hung her coat on the coat rack now and was grinning to herself. I wonder what she thought about them. Sometimes they were like little children with impossible behavior.

At that moment Margaux came running out of the living room and greeted the newcomers warmly. "It's so good to see you together again. After all, Richard has told me many a story." With that, she hugged them both.

Paul ducked back into the kitchen and watched Richard whip up his meals. "Can I help you with anything?" he inquired, clasping Richard from behind, wrapping his arms around him and breathing a peck on the back of his neck.

"Gee, Paul, not here. Didn't you get enough yesterday?" But even he had to grin a little, because of course Paul's caresses didn't leave him cold. Paul pressed Richard a little against the countertop and Richard noticed that his best piece in his pants straightened up a little. This couldn't be happening now. "Paul, please...I'm getting hard again." He tried to free himself from Paul's grasp, but Paul wouldn't let him.

"Do you actually know that's pretty sexy when you're cooking like that? And it all smells so good. Just as good as you do.... Mmh ..." He buried his lips in Richard's neck.

"Don't, Paul, we're not alone here. Someone can come into the kitchen at any time."

"But I miss you so much already. I can't change it anyway. You can't do anything about your feelings."

Richard turned around in the embrace and put both hands to Paul's face. He kissed him affectionately. "I know, it's the same for me. But we should still control ourselves a bit, especially because of our girls. And not least because of Schneider and Uli, and of course the kids."

Paul plucked at his lower lip with his teeth. "Do you think they would notice if we took a little time off?" He licked his lip and wiggled his eyebrows. Richard almost dropped the wooden spoon from his hand. His friend was simply impossible. One had to come up with such ideas first.

"I think they would notice. After all, I'm the host, remember? Nah, well, you really can't do that. Besides, I was looking forward to finally filling up the place and cooking for everyone. It's been way too long." Richard looked at Paul urgently.

"Okay, okay, that's fine. You're right." He pouted a bit to himself, but Richard kept him busy by having him bring the dishes, the silverware, and already the appetizers into the living room.

Paul, meanwhile, was well-behaved and obediently carried everything into the cozy living area. There it just became noisy, because Schneider reported about the tour life, and for the first time in a long time one noticed that he told in a relaxed and open way and was like he usually was, namely the friendly and caring man they all knew.

"What, this can't be true? And what did you do then?" it just came from Ulrike, because Schneider had come from tour life to his little time out just before Christmas with Till.

Paul grinned and slipped back into the kitchen. But he was not alone, Jenny had followed him and now held him from behind. "Hey, not so fast, handsome. We haven't really met yet, have we?" Paul turned around, startled. She was right about that, unfortunately.

"Then we should catch up real quick, don't you think?" With that, he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and maneuvered her back into the living room. They sat down a bit apart on the large living room couch and made out like teenagers, until the moment when a somewhat irritated and tense Richard appeared in the doorway.

"Um, I could use some help right now!" He looked around the room, but Paul was busy. Schneider got up and followed Richard into the kitchen.

"Gee, Scholle, say something. We can't be everywhere." With that, Richard annoyedly handed him the big bowl of homemade dumplings.

He was tense, yes, you could say that. It really wasn't easy for him at the moment. He became a father, he had to take care of his girlfriend, but no, he was in the kitchen all the time. And then his help fell out, who had nothing better to do than to cuddle with his girlfriend. Pah, as if they couldn't find another time.

Richard noticed how he was becoming more and more aggressive. In addition, his hips and back were hurting so badly from standing for so long that he was now bent over, holding his back with his face contorted in pain.

Schneider was just coming back into the kitchen to get supplies when Richard turned around with a jerk, thinking Paul was coming back. And in the movement, a hot pain shot through his back that he dropped the wooden spoon. "Owuuuaaaa!" Schneider was on him quickly, holding him down. Richard's knees buckled and Schneider carefully maneuvered him to the nearest chair. Tears had welled up in Richard's eyes and he gasped for air.

"What was that?" Schneider had crouched down and was still holding Richard.

Richard shook his head. "I don't know, Chris. Oh, damn, does that hurt." He carefully straightened up, but the pain continued.

"Okay, I'm calling a doctor now!" He was up again. Richard looked at him, startled, and now shook his head more vehemently. "Don't argue with me, Richard. This isn't going to work! Or are you going to lie completely flat for the holidays now?"

"Yeah, but. What about dinner? I can't just..." He didn't get any further than that, because Schneider interrupted him.

"The food is ready, if necessary it can be reheated. So come on, I'll help you up and then you can put yourself on the sofa." Richard stood up with Schneider's help, twitching his face with each step. Slowly they came into the living room. And six pairs of eyes looked at the two of them in amazement.

"Oh God, what happened to you?" Paul jumped off the sofa and came toward them. He held Richard by the arm as he lay down on the sofa with his face contorted in pain. Together with Schneider, he packed a couple of pillows under his back and a blanket on top of him. Schneider pulled out his cell phone and called 911. Quite great and that at Christmas. Sylvie was now leaning over her boyfriend, startled, and wouldn't let go of his hand at all.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Her eyes were all red and she tenderly stroked Richard's face. Paul was sitting on the back of the couch, terrified for him. He kept stroking his arm. Richard had closed his eyes and was only slowly calming down. Now Schneider came back to the couch. "The doc will be right in."

*

"That worked out well, didn't it?" Paul was already a bit more relaxed again. The doctor had given Richard a mild sedative and injected one painkiller each into his hip and lower back. Sylvie was just escorting the doctor out.

Maxime was now standing in front of her father with tears in her eyes, sobbing quietly to herself. She had put her hands very firmly on Richard's chest and her head on top. Margaux stood next to her and just shook her head. "But he can't hear either!"

"Daddy, what's wrong?" She was so excited that Paul lovingly put his arm around her slender shoulder.

"Take it easy, little girl. It's not all that bad. Dad has a bad back. He has to get over it first." With that, he looked directly at Richard, so that he understood. "So, now you help Uncle Paul with the food. Okay?"

"Oh yeah." With that she hopped off the couch and followed Paul into the kitchen.

*

A few hours later they were all sitting around the big dining table. Richard was also feeling better now. Paul had taken care of him and wrapped a warm compress around his lower back.

Khira had just come back up, she had put Maxime to bed after having to explain to the little girl several times that her daddy was fine.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Richard looked at everyone, startled. "What's that? Who's coming to see me so late?" With that, he wanted to get up, but Paul took over.

If he had known beforehand who had rung the bell, he wouldn't have been so quick to press the button on the intercom.

When the elevator opened, Arielle was standing in front of him.

He flinched imperceptibly. "You?" With that, he was about to close the door again, but the sight of her was beyond pathetic. She looked quite tattered, her hair hung tangled in her face, and her makeup was runny. Paul's good heart prevailed and he took her by the arm and wordlessly took her inside Richard's penthouse. Then he closed the door.

"What happened to you?" was the only thing he could think of just then. She looked at him from oversized pupils that were unnaturally dilated and fell around his neck. She sobbed and held onto him like a drowning woman.

At that moment, Jenny came out of the living room ... and froze. Paul turned to her. "Don't say anything. I don't know what that's about either." With that, he maneuvered his ex into the living room, where everyone looked at her, aghast. Schneider jumped up as if the devil himself had stopped by them, and Uli just looked startled.

Paul offered her a chair, and Arielle slowly sat down. She looked guiltily at her hands, and then she began to talk. And about everything. She didn't leave anything out. How she'd fallen for the guy, how he'd tried to blackmail her with her family and her ex-husband, how he'd slowly made her compliant by giving her substances, which she didn't notice for a long time because he was good at disguising the whole thing by mixing stuff into her drinks every now and then. She had fallen for a corrupt ring of businessmen who had formed an internal circle of power - and had noticed it much too late.

Richard was up now, too. He couldn't help himself, although his back still hurt a little. Slowly, like a predator, he walked toward them. "That's all well and good, Ari, but what you've done to us, and especially to Paul, with this, you can't even imagine." With that, he now put an arm around Paul and pulled him close. Jenny had also now stepped to Paul's other side and put her arm around Paul's waist.

"He's suffered like a dog. For months he wasn't really the Paul we all know and love. He kept worrying, he kept feeling guilty. It almost ate away at him because he wasn't sure if he had done anything wrong in his life with you." Richard continued to get worked up and loud, though Paul tried to placate him. "And now you just show up like this and everything is supposed to be fine? Nah, nah, Ari, it doesn't work like that!"

She was now standing up as well. "I know, Richard. And I know about you and Paul, too." Then she looked at Jenny. "And also that you're Paul's new girlfriend." Jenny was about to say something, but Arielle shook her head. "Don't say anything." Then she walked slowly up and down the room. "I know I made a huge mistake. And I still don't know how it all happened and got so out of hand."

She was standing in front of the huge window now, looking out over the city. Then she slowly turned around. "I know you had a detective on me. I think he's become redundant now."

Then she came up to Paul and looked straight at him. "Please forgive me!" With that, she stood on her tiptoes and gave him a fleeting little kiss on the cheek. Paul swallowed. What had he loved this woman ... and now? He listened within himself. No, there was nothing more that drew him to her. "I wish you all the best."

With that, she was about to say goodbye, but Paul held her back. "Ari, it's Christmas. Don't you want to have a drink with us?" He jumped over his shadow, so to speak, but she waved him off.

"Don't bother. Have a good time. And I'll be in touch with the kids when I have the strength." With that, she walked a little faster now to the apartment door and closed it quietly behind her. They all looked at each other. This was like a haunting. Had that really just happened?

*

Paul stood with Jenny on the platform and calmed her down. "Little girl, what do you think of me? I love you. And even if Ari has finally realized that she screwed up big time, that ship has sailed, so to speak. I don't want her back. No way. I'm so glad I have you." He gave her a little kiss on the mouth. "Give my love to Kalle and don't worry about anything unnecessary."

She looked at him attentively. "I love you, you know that. I hope to see you again soon." With that, she took her suitcase from his hands and threw him another air kiss. Then she boarded the train, which by now had pulled in.

Paul still watched her sit down in her compartment and waved after her until the train had disappeared from the station. Thoughtfully, he walked toward the parking lot.

*

"We'll stay in my penthouse after all. Sylvie and I have talked about it for a long time." Richard and Sylvie sat with Paul in the latter's apartment. Richard now bent lovingly to his girlfriend. "That would also be nonsense, if we were looking for something new. There's enough room at Richard's, so it'll be fine. I'll be traveling back to Hamburg tomorrow afternoon, I've got some things to sort out with my job and landlord and stuff."

So Sylvie would move to Berlin. That was really good, after all, the two became parents and separate apartments in two different cities were rather suboptimal. Paul was honestly happy for the two of them, although there was always that little twinge of jealousy - deep inside him.

"Okay, that sounds good." He stood up. "So, you two, what about New Year's Eve? Are we all going to celebrate together or what?" He had gone shopping after putting his girlfriend on the train to Hamburg, because this time he was supposed to cater the dinner.

"Of course, we had agreed on that. Who else is actually coming?" asked Richard now.

He had taken Margaux and Maxime to the airport, although Maxime would have liked to stay longer with her dad.

Schneider and Ulrike wanted to celebrate a very comfortable New Year's Eve for themselves.

Till was still in Italy and Flake and Olli were away with their families for the New Year.

Khira was planning to celebrate with Paul's kids - they had rented a whole club especially and Emil and his best buddy were going to play; meanwhile it was going pretty high with "Two Colours", his son's band - and Paul was mighty proud of it - meaning, the kids were "taken care of", so to speak.

Yesterday, Paul had talked to Arielle on the phone, who had once again come forward remorsefully, and he had once again not had the heart to let her be alone on New Year's Eve. So, without informing the others, he had offered to let her join him, but Arielle had declined.

Maybe that was just as well, that would probably have caused stress again after all, at the latest Richard would have really jumped out of his shirt this time.

"So as I see it, there are three of us today." He looked at Richard attentively. "How's the pain going, by the way?", he asked him straight.

"It's gotten better. I have an appointment with my doctor on the second. He should look at it again very carefully. Can it be that I have to go to the clinic after all?" Richard grinned a wry smile and ducked his head a bit, knowing full well that Paul wouldn't just take it. As he did so, he looked down at his hands, which were on the table.

... and here we go ...

"And you're just saying that between doors?" Paul had jumped up again. "That's unbelievable. That I'm worried, you wouldn't think of that either, would you?"

He was pissed, but Sylvie reassured Paul. "It's good that he can go to the doctor the day after tomorrow. It won't be so bad." She stroked Richard's arm tenderly.

"Sylvie's right. It's best if you come with me. I didn't want to go up there alone anyway." He got up awkwardly and "caught" his friend. "Hey, Paulchen, don't worry so much. You'll be fine."

Paul turned to face him. Sadly, he looked at him. "Okay, I'll come with you. You know I won't leave you alone. But I'll take care of you, too. And what the doctor says will be done. Got it?"

Richard nodded guiltily and Sylvie beamed all over. She was glad that someone took care of Richard when she wasn't around. The man was just so stubborn sometimes, working until he dropped, even though he was miserable. It was good to have Paul, he neutralized it all a bit.

"All right. Then it's time to go take care of dinner. I'll help you." Paul nodded and Sylvie and he disappeared into the kitchen. Richard was left alone in the living room.

Chapter Text

Richard, Sylvie and Paul had had a nice New Year's Eve. Richard had taken his girlfriend to the train the next day, just as Paul had taken his Jenny the day before.

Now the two were sitting at the doctor's office, and after an eternally long wait, it was finally Richard's turn.

"Oh, look at that, it does work." Paul couldn't help himself. There one was already private patient and still had to wait. The little goodies that came with being a celebrity were sometimes nice, but nothing really changed either - at least not here in this doctor's office.

Richard stood up heavily, the back pain was back, and now the nurse took Richard by the arm and led him into the treatment room. Paul was left alone.

*

"Please what? Oh God, that can't be true. I didn't think it was that bad." Paul maneuvered his big car through Berlin's city traffic and was more excited than Richard himself.

Richard had unfortunately been diagnosed as needing to go to the hospital after all. His hip was acting up and radiating into his back. A new hip joint was inevitable. Richard tried to be strong and reassured Paul. "Gee, Paulchen, this is almost routine these days. I'm just not a young hopper anymore either. And these aches and pains that keep coming back, I'm really not up for that." He stroked his arm gently. "I have you, I have Sylvie, my family, all of you. You guys are there for me after all, you'll be fine. It's a good thing I got an appointment for surgery right away."

"Yes, that's true, but still, I'm allowed to worry about you, aren't me?" Richard smiled at Paul from the side, who was now routinely driving into the underground garage of Richard's house.

"I mean, sure, the pain really sucks, but that it has to be a new hip joint? I thought that was only ever the case with old people." He looked at him with a grin. They got out of the car and walked slowly to the elevator.

Khira was already waiting for them at the top. Paul was supporting Richard. Khira was excited to see what the result was now and Paul explained it to her.

"Oh man, Dad, this really sucks." She looked startled at them both. "So what's the next step and when do you have to go under the knife?" She ran after Richard, who had opened the patio door and had just lit a cigarette.

"The surgery is next week, honey." He looked sadly at the city below. His daughter had moved next to him and was now patting his broad shoulder.

"Oh, Dad, you'll be fine. You're not alone." She hugged him from behind and peered back into the room at Paul. "You'll take care of him, won't you?"

Paul got up now and joined them both on the terrace. "Man, it's really cold." He rubbed his arms, shivering. "Of course I'll take care of your dad. It's a point of honor." He went back inside and plopped down on the spacious sofa.

"I still have to teach Sylvie that somehow. Man, she's gonna get all scared. And right now she's not here." Richard walked slowly to the sofa.

"Well, why don't you do it now, Pop? What's gone is gone. She'll understand all right. And she does know we're all here for you," Khira replied. "Do you want me to make us something to eat?" Both men nodded and Khira disappeared into Richard's spacious kitchen.

*

After Khira's really delicious meal, Paul and Richard were now cuddling on the couch. Khira had another appointment and they were finally alone. Paul now moved closer to Richard. He had cheated his hands under Richard's T-shirt and was stroking him tenderly.

Richard had his eyes closed. Sylvie was thankfully cool enough that she had taken this news of the surgery rather relaxed. He was glad of it, nothing would be worse than a hysterical girlfriend who was pregnant by him and living in another city. He was looking forward to seeing her when she finally arrived in Berlin. But there was still a lot to do until then.

He couldn't really switch off either, as the fear of the surgery was now slowly seeping into him. He always acted so tough, but he wasn't at all. And Paul knew that very well.

That's why he was lovingly taking care of him right now, was always there when Richard needed something. He had almost moved in with him. Khira was also there for him, but she still had a job that demanded a lot of her, and that sometimes took more than ten hours a day.

Richard realized how much he enjoyed Paul's caresses. He lazily blinked his eyes open and looked down at the slightly shorter man. He smiled. And again he thought. What was going to happen after the surgery? He was guaranteed to have to go to rehab, and all this at a time when he was actually working and composing new songs.

He noticed that he was slowly relaxing under Paul's caresses. And the desire for Paul returned. He wanted him. Now! And he told him so...

Paul grinned. "Hm, me too, handsome man. No one knows if you'll still be able to do it after the operation." He slapped Richard on the arm and giggled.

What a cheeky fellow he was, Richard looked at him with feigned indignation. "Let's go to the bedroom," he murmured to him, slowly pulling him along.

*

Paul was standing in front of Richard in his bedroom and had snuggled up close to him. He stroked Richard's broad chest reverently and gave him a kiss on the collarbone. "Hmm, you smell so damn sexy," Paul breathed to Richard. His fingers slowly moved under Richard's T-shirt, caressing the bare warm skin.

Richard had put on some weight, just from the medication he was taking for the pain. But that didn't bother Paul at all. On the contrary, he found it totally cute, Richard's little belly. But Richard, the vain rooster, of course had a huge problem with exactly that. That's why he wanted to disappear under the covers as quickly as possible, but Paul wouldn't let him.

"Hey, stay here!"

"Paulchen, I have become totally fat. If you think that's nice, then I don't know." At that, he tried to push Paul's hands away a little, but Paul was persistent.

"Reesh, what's your problem? I think you're as hot as ever, even if you have a little more flab. That's cute, isn't it? I don't get you." Richard looked at him lovingly. Paul was just great. He wondered for the thousandth time how he had earned this incredible person.

He surrendered with a sigh and lifted his arms upward so Paul could finally pull the shirt off his body. "Mmmmh, that's it." Richard held onto the wall from behind now, as Paul continued and pulled his pants down now. As he did so, he kissed and stroked his belly and Richard kept jerking back in arousal. This man was driving him crazy. He was so tender, but at the same time decisive and anything but shy.

Paul was now tugging with his lips on the little hairs above Richard's genital area and Richard was getting more than hot. He noticed that his whole body started to tingle and his cock slowly became harder and harder. He Fahrig searched for some support behind him and his knees went soft. "Paul....please, let's go to bed.... I can't take it anymore," Richard pleaded with his partner. At that, he pulled him back up to kiss him excitedly.

Paul grinned into that kiss and his wet tongue played with Richard's. And again and again he licked into Richard's mouth, thrusting his tongue into its oral cavity. Caressing each other, the two sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and Paul gently pushed Richard backward. Richard briefly released the kiss, panting up he looked intently into Paul's lust-darkened blue eyes. "Oh God, please go on..."

Paul grinned. " You want me to fuck you today…"

Richard covered his mouth. "Shh...keep going and please don't stop!" Nervously, Paul pulled off his T-shirt and Richard fumbled with his pants, rapidly pulling them down over his tight ass. Paul kicked everything off of him and now he was naked and Richard couldn't get enough of the beautiful wiry body. "You are so beautiful, Paul, just so incredibly beautiful."

Richard was so overwhelmed, he just had tears in his eyes. I don't know why he suddenly got so emotional, but through all this shit with the surgery, he once again had dark thoughts and wanted to savor everything that was possible, because who knows how long he could.

But apparently he had voiced his concerns out loud, because Paul looked at him indignantly. "Say, what's that all about? It'll all work out." He kissed him again and now crawled between Richard's now spread legs. Thereby he kissed himself again from top to bottom and now pulled Richard's pants and boxers down in one go. Richard also kicked his clothes off.

Surrendered, he lay before him in all his beauty and Paul sighed. He had now reached Richard's belly button and kept poking his tongue in and kissing his way down, again over the little hairs to Richard's cock, which now stood out to him in all its glory.

Richard had his head back and his eyes closed. Paul's rough hands were reverently stroking the testicles and his tongue was just licking the first drops from Richard's member. He himself was also more than aroused and his cock throbbed between his legs, struggling for release.

"Got any lube there?" asked Paul of Richard in a choked voice. Richard didn't answer right away because he was probably already floating in other spheres. "Reesh?", Paul quietly asked again.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Lube?"

Richard's head pointed toward the dessert. "Upstairs." He was unable to do any more, for Paul's hands had not stopped lovingly working his testicles, and Richard's lust was growing fiercer.

Paul reached for the top shelf with his left hand and with somnambulistic certainty pulled the lube from the nightstand. Trembling, he opened the small tube and almost dropped it, as excited as the first time.

He threw the lube next to the bed and smeared his penis with it. Then he attended to Richard's entrance, which he stroked lovingly, letting his first finger sink into Richard very slowly. Richard lifted his bottom and came towards Paul. "Ohaaaa, oh...." Richard's voice was raspy and he moaned loudly. Paul had probably caught his most sensitive spot right at the first poke in.

Paul grinned mischievously and took another finger to stretch Richard's entrance. And again and again he stroked tenderly, but also a bit rougher over his inner pleasure spot. "Paul...oh, please, now...I.... want.... to feel you.... inside...me!" Richard spoke choppily, he was aroused to bursting, and Paul withdrew his fingers from Richard.

Then he put his slippery fingers around his cock and stroked them slowly along Richard's butt crack, again with such infinite slowness that Richard was by now hissing at him to fuck him that he no longer knew whether he was male or female.

"Ohhaaaa, dirty talk, I guess that's what you're into, huh?" And with that he pushed his hardness slowly and unerringly into Richard's hot and willing body. He loved being him, but he didn't want to hurt him either, so he tried to control himself, which he didn't quite manage, as Richard urged him to go harder and faster.

Paul rolled his eyes, took Richard's right leg and put it over his shoulder - again slowly - to have a slightly different angle once again. This position was perfect, he thought, and when he had sunk completely into Richard and he now had his hands clasped around Paul's hips, pulling him closer, Paul thrust.

He had his eyes closed and they both found a pretty fast and also pretty hard rhythm. Paul held onto Richard's thigh and realized that he was not far from his own climax. Richard's moans and his own, as well as the fact that Richard was touching himself and working his cock between them with the same intensity, as well as his licking over his lips, which were more than red and wet, made them both come at the same time. With a groan that was a riot.

Probably now the whole neighborhood had been witness. Paul poured himself hot and deep and very long into Richard and could not stop thrusting into him. Richard himself was spurting his lust all the way onto his chest. "Stay inside me for a while, please!" he begged Paul. He knew now what Paul meant. It was just nice to have the part of your loved one close and intense inside you for as long as possible. That closeness you could get used to and never want to be without. Richard never thought he would feel this way, but he did. Without Paul, he felt imperfect, incomplete, and just lonely and alone. It was so corny, he thought with amusement, that somewhere it was also good.

"God, how I love you." Paul was about to sink on top of Richard, but since the latter's entire chest was full of cum, he pulled out of him now after all and dropped down beside him, exhausted and sweating wet.

"Oh, that was... I don't know, I can't take it anymore..." He tried to catch his breath, panting, and Richard's chest also rose and fell in a rapid rhythm.

When his breathing had recovered to some extent, Paul turned to Richard. His short hair was sticking out of his head and Richard had to grin. He pulled him down with both hands and kissed him lovingly.

"I think we should really take a shower, it's disgusting." With that, Paul broke away from Richard and tried to stand up, which was not so easy after this experience, because he was quite wobbly on his feet. "Come on, I'll help." With that, he slowly pulled Richard up and curled his arm around Richard's waist.

"Ow, ow, ow shit. My back." Tears welled up in Richard's eyes. He looked down at himself. Paul was right, he too was wet with sweat and Paul's cum was running down his legs. Richard's legs were like pudding. He had had a lot of sex in his life, but even with Sylvie it was never as intense as with Paul.

""See, if it hurts in the back, you should stop in the front." Paul grinned cheekily. "Come on, old man, get under the shower." With that, he pushed him out of the bedroom.

*

"That's good," Paul spoke to himself. In the meantime, the two of them had showered and were lounging lazily on Richard's couch. Paul had his cell phone in his hand and was googling for movies that were playing in the theater. "Look, what's with this?" He held the cell phone out to Richard. But he only looked dully at the display and was actually not mentally present. "What's wrong?" Paul put the cell phone aside and snuggled up to Richard. "Don't you feel like going to the movies? We can do something else. Watching TV?" He was about to fish for the remote control, but Richard held him tight.

"Paul, I'm not in the mood for movies. I need to talk to you." Oh, that sounded serious. Paul dropped back and looked at Richard, startled.

"That doesn't sound good. Anytime there's supposed to be talk in relationships, something's wrong." He took a deep breath. "Okay, here we go. What is it?"

Richard slid back and forth on his butt. "Paul, I know this is kind of sudden. But I've really thought this through." He cleared his throat. "Sylvie will be coming to Berlin soon. And I just don't feel like making excuses like a teenager to be with you and not hurt her."

Paul looked at him. He didn't know what Richard was getting at. Richard sat up now. "So, I was thinking, don't you want to move in here too? It would be a lot more convenient than having you so far away." Now it was out and Richard exhaled audibly.

Paul looked at him confused. "What, into your pad with you? Why? I don't live that far from you."

"But Paulchen, it is already a few streets."

"Yes, but that's no problem. I've got legs, I've got a car and a bike, and the streetcar runs too. So what's the point?" Paul couldn't understand that at all. Since when was Richard so emotional?

"Well, it would just be nice to have you around all the time." He looked at him faithfully.

"Reesh, you know I love you, but I need my space too. Besides, my children often come to visit me."

"But they can come here, too, can't they?"

"Yes, but ..."

"Paul, the whole house is mine. On the second floor, an apartment will become available next month, because the guy who lives there is moving to his girlfriend in Freiburg. So it doesn't get any better than that."

Paul looked at the floor. He couldn't decide that quickly. "Reesh, don't be mad, but I have to take a nap. Okay?"

Richard nodded his head. "Sure, no problem." He pulled him close. "I'll talk to Sylvie and see what she thinks."

"What, you don't have that yet? She should know that, though." Then he remembered something else. "What about Jenny, anyway?"

Richard looked at him. "I don't know. Have you asked her if she wants to take this step, too? You can't just jump the gun on that." He had a point there.

"Hm, I don't know. But I'll ask them." Then he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Paul pressed around, but he wanted to be alone now.

"Hey, I forgot that I have another appointment with my son. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Richard became sad. And right away he had that fear of loss again that always held him in its spell when he somehow had to say goodbye to someone, even if it was only for a few hours. "You're not going to sleep here tonight?"

Paul sat back down and stroked Richard's arm. "Not tonight." Richard looked at him intently. He couldn't let him take him like that. That was clear to him.

"All right. See you tomorrow then." With that, he stood up and accompanied Paul out.

As he was about to close the door behind him, Paul turned to him once more. He pulled him close and his lips found Richard's. He gently licked Richard's full lips. "Sleep tight."

Richard breathed back. "You too." With that, he closed the door for good, still hearing the elevator rumble down.

Chapter Text

For hours Paul had been sitting in the hallway at the hospital with Sylvie and Khira, and still nothing had been heard about how the surgery had gone. He was very worried, it couldn't have taken that long. Hopefully everything had gone well.

He stood up again now and paced nervously until Khira stopped him. "Paul, please, you're driving us crazy. Do you want me to get you a coffee or something? And when was the last time you slept properly? Sorry, but honestly, you look like shit."

Paul looked at her, startled. "You think so? I didn't even notice that." He took a deep breath. "Coffee's fine." With that, Khira marched off and he sat back down.

Now Sylvie took him in her arms. "Everything will be fine, you'll see. It all takes time. Don't get so crazy." She pressed him against her.

Paul couldn't even think about it, he had to be strong for Richard, he had sworn to himself. Then he remembered something. "Say, when are you actually moving to the capital?", he asked Sylvie and moved away from her a little.

"I'm afraid that's going to take some time. My boss won't let me out of the contract sooner, so there's nothing before the end of March." She looked sad, she had imagined it all differently, especially because she had been working for the firm for so long. But there was also, unfortunately, her colleague who kept denouncing her and spreading lies about her, and unfortunately her boss believed him too. And when he got wind of the fact that she wanted to leave completely, he never missed an opportunity to put obstacles in her way.

She had actually hoped that he would be happy if she left the firm and didn't hinder him on his career ladder, but she was probably wrong about that. Of course, to make matters worse, he was also lazy and only really good at making big speeches. She did the dirty work, and he basked in her glow.

And she had the feeling more and more that he was only involved in all these intrigues because he was simply into it. And her boss was so gullible and didn't get all that. She sighed aloud. "Well, but I know you're there for Richard. At least that's something." She smiled lovingly at Paul and stroked his short hair.

At that moment, the doctor in charge came out of surgery, and Paul and Sylvie literally jumped out of their seats and excitedly walked up to the man. "So, how did the surgery go?" Sylvie spoke calmly, the more excited of the two was definitely Paul, at least the one where you could clearly see the excitement. He nervously kneaded his fingers together and stood there like a schoolboy waiting for the results of his exam.

The doctor reassured them and also told them that Richard would now be taken to the recovery room. "You can rest easy. Everything went well."

"And when can we see him?" Paul stepped from one leg to the other, but the doctor objected somewhat.

"So before tomorrow there is nothing to do. The best thing is for you to go home now and get some rest!"

At that moment Khira came back with three coffee mugs. She placed the mugs on a small table and excitedly walked over to Paul and Sylvie, who were standing with the doctor. "What about my father?"

The doctor reassured her as well. "Sorry, I have to go on, have other patients. Don't worry so much, your father will be fine." With that, he left the small group.

Paul sat down exhausted on a seat and took his coffee. "Oh, none of this is for my nerves. I'm too old for this shit." He looked strained into his cup and noticed that the tension was slowly easing. In his case in the form of tears, which simply ran out of his eyes without being asked.

Khira noticed this first and sat down next to him. "Gee Paul, take it easy. You're all messed up." She stroked his arm. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here. I think we should eat something, too. My treat." With that, she stood up, and the other two dutifully followed her.

*

Very slowly, Richard returned to the here and now. He blinked and realized that his vision was a little blurry. And he also noticed that he was not alone.

"Well, here we are again, Mr Kruspe. How are you?" In the most beautiful Berlin dialect, the resolute nurse spoke to Richard, standing in front of his bed.

Richard cleared his throat and could only manage a whisper. "So-so." He continued to blink, and now his vision was slowly becoming clearer. It was quite a strange feeling to wake up from anesthesia. And he was dead tired.

"Sleep it off. This is the best thing for the wound. I'll come by later." With that, she looked at the drip with the painkiller Richard was hooked up to, and slowly walked out of the room. Richard immediately fell asleep again, dreaming of some demons who wanted to drag him away from home.

With a scream he came to again and a body was soaking wet. His heart was pounding wildly, and he had to get his bearings.

The nurse from earlier came back in and tried to calm him down. "Oh man..." Richard was completely out of breath. He had still been dreaming about Paul and Sylvie cheating on him with each other - and that was an idea that didn't work at all and made him so sad that he was now fighting tears.

"Mr Kruspe, please calm down. You've had a bad dream." She sat down at his bedside and stroked his arm.

"Phew, that was... so... so real..." He gasped. "Am I actually allowed to have visitors yet? I'd love to see my loved ones."

"I don't know about that. I need to talk to the doctor first, okay?" With that, she got up and walked out of the room. Richard was annoyed. He had to see Paul. And Sylvie, too, of course. Preferably everyone who was important to him. He looked at the big clock hanging over the door. It couldn't take that long. He pressed the little red button again. She came rushing back in and looked at him promptly.

"Mr Kruspe, if you make such a terror here, it won't be of any use to anyone." The nurse looked at him seriously.

"But I just want to know..." That's as far as he got.

"I've just been gone for five minutes. But good, I was able to talk to the doctor. One person can see you, but not until tomorrow. There's no more chance today."

Richard rolled his eyes. "Not until tomorrow? How am I supposed to stand that?" A steep crease had formed between his eyebrows, and he tried to give his face a scowl, maybe it would work. But no, here was no stage, no party, no record company; here was a hospital and the nurse quite unimpressed by his posturing.

"That's just the way it is, you have to go through it now. So, please go to sleep now. It will do you good. You're in a hospital here, not in some hotel." She nodded at him once more and then left.

Richard just wasn't the type to sit still, let alone lie down. He had to keep himself busy and was afraid of falling asleep again and having such terrible dreams again, but he couldn't do anything about it, because the painkillers and probably sedatives that were slowly dripping into his veins did the rest and he wandered off into dreamland again....

*

Paul, Sylvie and Khira had been eating, and now they were sitting in Richard's living room, trying to distract themselves somehow.

"I have to call them again. It won't leave me alone, at least I want to know if he's awake again." With that, Paul grabbed his cell phone and called the hospital. Sylvie and Khira watched him closely. He nodded and pressed the little red receiver. "Well, he's awake again and has apparently already theorized a nurse, because he wants to have visitors. That is so typical Richard, unbelievable. He's supposed to get well again, but no, Mr Kruspe must be annoying the people who are just doing their job."

Sylvie and Khira couldn't help smiling. "And when do we get to see him?"

Paul sat down again. "Well, actually, only one person is allowed to see him right now." He looked down at his shoes.

"Paul, that's perfectly okay if you see him first." Khira had gotten up and sat down next to him.

"But, you are his daughter, actually you have every right to see your father." It was embarrassing to Paul, to say the least, to have his daughter there reaching back behind him.

"Yes, I know I will. But you're his friend. Or, Sylvie, what do you say?" She, too, was standing up now.

"Don't worry, Paul. Even though I'm his girlfriend ..." but Paul interrupted her, "... and pregnant to boot ..." He couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, that too... so even though I'm his girlfriend, you still have every right to see him first. So you go ahead and do that. Tomorrow you go to the hospital and you and I will make our sick call later. Okay?"

Paul nodded in surrender. "Well, only if it's really okay with both of you."

Now both women nodded. "It is. Everything's fine. But tell me something else. Have you already thought about moving in here?" This came so suddenly that Paul had to swallow. With all the excitement, he had completely forgotten this point. Actually, he should have told Richard long ago, but the excitement about him and the surgery had made this thought disappear to the back of his mind.

He fumbled around. "Nah, I haven't yet." He looked at the floor again.

"Why not? Wouldn't that be the best solution!" This was Sylvie now.

"Yes, but I don't know. Somehow it doesn't seem right. You have so much to do with yourselves, I'm just interrupting."

"Tell me, do you actually notice anything? Richard loves you, both of us, and for that reason he also wants you to be near him." Sylvie would have liked to shake him.

"I do know that. I just ... well, I ... have my obligations, too. And my two kids," Paul tried to talk his way out of it, but Sylvie wouldn't let up.

"But that's not a problem. You don't have to document every step. You have your own apartment here, and whenever you want, you can retreat. So, I think this solution is ingenious. Or what do you say, Khira?"

Khira smiled. "You know, Paul, with all his colleagues, you would be my favorite person to move in here." Paul was blushing now after all, but he nodded. "Have you talked to Jenny about it yet? You were going to do that, too." Sylvie again.

"Yeah, that too. I haven't yet." He fussed again.

"Why not?" Sylvie was getting impatient, how could anyone be so stubborn? Paul was even worse than Richard.

"Well, it's not that easy. She has her life in Hamburg, just because we're together doesn't mean we have to move in together. Especially not after such a short time."

Sylvie didn't understand. "That's no reason. It works for us, too, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, sure. But you're also pregnant from Richard. That's different." He was really unsure whether he should really move into Richard's house and into the free apartment. "I'll talk to him again and also to my sweetheart."

He hoped that now the subject would be left alone for the time being. He knew himself that he had to deal with it, but it was not so easy. "So, I have to go again. I'll let you know when I get out of the clinic tomorrow." With that, he got up and got dressed. "Take care, all of you." And he was gone. Sylvie and Khira just looked at each other, shaking their heads.

*

Tentatively, Paul knocked on Richard's bedroom door. Then he carefully opened the door. There he was, the man he loved, asleep. He looked sweet, Paul thought, and smiled.

He grabbed the small chair and moved up to the hospital bed. Slowly he stroked Richard's hand that was lying on the bedspread. Richard growled something in his sleep and slowly he woke up.

"Hey, handsome man. How are you?", Paul started cautiously. His heart was beating excitedly, and he was just glad to see his friend.

"Paulchen... finally! Richard was happy. "Can you please move the headboard up a bit, or I won't be able to see you properly." Richard looked at him lovingly. "It's so good to see you." He tried to hold back tears, but no chance. "I was so scared." That he would admit that, Paul didn't expect either. Richard always acted so tough, yet he was anything but.

"Shh... don't talk so much. I'm here now." He leaned forward a bit and gave Richard a little kiss on the mouth. "Hm, you still taste so good." With that, he grinned dirtily.

"Well, listen, sure I taste good. What did you think?" Richard suddenly felt better, now that he had his lover very close to him. Paul's eyes were a little moist, too.

"How long did you have to stay in here?"

"I don't know, but it'll be fine." Now he was back to his old self. "Tell me, have you finally thought about moving?" Paul pulled annoyed his eyes up, now he also started with the sorry topic.

"Yes, I have. Long even. And I don't know if it's all so good." Paul realized that he just didn't want to give up his freedom. Pah, freedom... he had had it during the last years, because Arielle had never restricted him, rather the opposite... he wrinkled his nose, because he had to think about her again and also about the good times they had had.

"Gee, Paulchen, why not? I'm not going to get on your nerves. If you want your peace, I'll accept that, of course." Paul nodded thoughtfully. "And what about your sweetie, have you talked to her too?"

Paul shook his head. "Hm, not yet. I haven't dared yet."

"What, why not?" Richard couldn't understand that at all. He held Paul's hand tightly and squeezed a little.

"This is also a complete change for the little one. I don't know myself what I actually want."

Richard put his head back, feeling sad that Paul wasn't coming from the hip. Speaking of which, he slowly noticed that the painkiller was wearing off, the wound was ticking a bit now. But he didn't dare bring that out in front of Paul now either, he was worried enough about him as it was.

"I actually always thought you wanted me." He turned his head away from Paul, because tears were welling up in his eyes now after all.

Paul gently stroked the back of Richard's hand. "Of course I want you, Reesh. That's not a question. You know that, too, but it's a big step toward pulling together, don't you see?"

"Yes, of course, I understand that somewhere. I would have been really happy if you had moved in with me. And of course with your Jenny. Well, there's nothing you can do about it." Giving up wasn't really his thing, but he also knew Paul's stubbornness. Maybe he should just wait and get well again, then they could still think about it. And since he owned the house, he didn't have to worry about someone else moving into the apartment.

"Another question... Do you already know where you have to go to rehab?" Richard was looking at Paul again now. His eyes were red and Paul was startled. „Oh God, don't cry, honey! I'm talking to Jenny and... and I'm thinking about it again. Promised!" He breathed a little kiss on Richard's hand.

Richard swallowed. He hadn't even thought about the upcoming rehab yet. "Um, I don't know. Actually, I don't want to go anywhere. Can't you do it at home? With supervision like that? "

Paul was stumped. "I don't know that at all. It's best to ask the doctor." Slowly, Richard nodded. "Reesh, I have to go again, Lilly wanted something from me."

He stood up, smoothed out his pants and bent over Richard. "My Paulchen, oh come here, I missed you so much." With that, Richard pulled Paul to him and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. "Promise me you'll talk to your girlfriend. I'd really like that. Because I can't do without you anymore." He grinned and let go of Paul again.

He said goodbye and once again stroked Richard's face tenderly. "I can't do without you." With that, he turned around jerkily, realizing that all this was not leaving him cold, and almost stormed out of the room.

Outside, he tried to catch his breath and sank exhausted onto the small stool in front of the door. Richard was right, he had to make a decision. It was anything but easy for him, especially because his life had changed so much in the last few months that he couldn't keep up. Determined, he got up again and walked quickly towards the exit so that he could make a phone call.

*

A few weeks later, the world looked very different. Richard had been released from the hospital again and now had to start his rehab. Of course, he could not do this at home, as he had hoped. For this reason, Paul was on his way to Bavaria with him. Bavaria, of all places, was as far away as he could get.

What had he been upset about it and Richard first. But it couldn't be helped. The only thing they had managed to get through was that he, Paul, was allowed to come along. As a moral support, so to speak, although moral would not be what he would do with Richard when he was reasonably well again.

Sylvie would have liked to have Richard with her, but she couldn't really get away from work and had a lot of organizational things to do in Hamburg before she moved to Berlin. In addition, she still had an incredibly long notice period, because her boss would not or could not let her go.

When she said goodbye, she told Richard not to overdo it, and woe betide him if he came back with a so-called cure shadow. Richard had only grinned and cheekily replied that he had his personal spa shadow with him after all. He was glad Sylvie was such a cool woman and went along with it all.

"Man, Reesh, 'tis not far now. You can whine like a little kid." Richard was grumpy because he was in pain, and to make matters worse, there was a folded-up wheelchair in the trunk of Paul's big car, in which he first had to be pushed around. He bitched and moaned in one go. "I feel like an old man. Wheelchair, oh ... And that to me..." he just started again. He looked at Paul from the side as he did so, but Paul had stopped fussing. Stoically he drove along the highway.

"The next exit should be ours according to the navigation system. It's not far now." He took one hand off the steering wheel and stroked Richard's left arm.

"Yes, I know, I'm impossible." Richard knew it himself. He had never been in a situation like this before, and it scared him. And that fear centered with him on grumbling and nagging. The fact that he was driving Paul crazy with it, he considered more on the sidelines.

"You're so lucky that I'm so patient, I think Sylvie would have kicked you out of the car by now." He put on his blinker and leisurely drove out the exit.

They had been on the road for almost seven hours, Berlin and Bavaria were not exactly around the corner. "So, now a little more country road..." Paul looked strained on the Navi. "B12 and B388 in the direction of Pfarrkirchen and Bad ...what? Bad Birnbach and then to ... ah, okay, well, it's still a good half hour."

Richard slid a little back and forth in his seat. "I'm so excited, this clinic had been incredibly advertised on the net." Richard's attending physician also found the St. Wolfgang Clinic in Bad Griesbach more than suitable. Besides, the shed was a private clinic and hotel with all kinds of amenities, especially in the spa and wellness area. So, if they had the option, it should be the best for Richard, Paul thought. And even if Richard most likely had to go from one treatment to the next, they would still have time for themselves. And Paul was looking forward to that.

Actually, they would be now at this time, as every year, in the studio or in the rehearsal room or once again in southern France, to develop new song ideas, but this took precedence.

Olli, Flake, Till and Schneider had nevertheless gone to the Baltic Sea, again to Heiligenhafen in their small studio directly at the beach, to write some ideas. Their guitar parts would have to be mixed in later.

Till had let it be known that he had had a wonderful time in Italy with his new flame, but had also repeatedly used his notebook, because he had to process a lot of impressions in the unfamiliar environment.

*

"Wow, that's... not bad!" Paul whistled appreciatively through his teeth as he turned into the first street from the traffic circle and they drove towards the spacious entrance area to the clinic. Richard looked more relaxed now, too. Yes, he believed by now that he would recover here. They had driven leisurely through the countryside and even if he was not a fan of the mountains, the area was impressive. Maybe he could get out now and then and explore the surroundings a bit with Paul. That would be seen.

Paul parked the big car in the parking lot and hurriedly got out to get the wheelchair for Richard out of the trunk and help him. Richard wanted to get out on his own, but at the first little movement he squinted his eyes in pain and went into Paul's tender care.

"Richard, now you just relax. I'll take care of it. I'm here to help you. So please let me help you too. Got it?" With that, he unfolded the wheelchair and Richard leaned on the smaller man to get out of the car.

"Yes, Daddy, it's clear." He grumbled a little to himself. They left the suitcases in the car for now, they could come back for the luggage later when they were checked in.

Link to the clinic: https://www.stwolfgang.de/

Chapter Text

"Dude, that's quite a view." Paul was thrilled. By now their suitcases and bags were in their room. Oh no, this wasn't a room, this was a suite with a small kitchenette, if they really wanted to cook something themselves, and a huge four-poster bed. Not to mention the spacious bathroom. This was much bigger and classier than anything in Richard's penthouse, and that was nothing to sneeze at.

Richard hobbled strenuously to Paul, who pulled him up to the roof terrace with him. Actually, he was supposed to be in the wheelchair, but Richard resisted as much as he could.

Richard took a deep breath of the oxygen-rich air. "Yes, quite nice." That was all he could manage, he was still pissed that this whole act was going on so long. After all, he was supposed to spend four weeks here. Four weeks! Well, he had Paul with him, who literally read his every wish from his eyes, but when he looked at his rehab plan, which he got earlier during the conversation with his responsible doctor, he felt quite different. So from extended leisure activities one could not really speak there.

And quite apart from that, he had an unbridled desire for Paul, but since his hip joint was of course still a bit bitchy and everything had to heal and get going again first, he had to restrain himself, and that was incredibly difficult for him. Grinning inwardly, he shook his head at his own thoughts - he was thinking only about sex again. But that was no wonder with the beautiful man at his side.

A very small bit of his guilty conscience towards Sylvie was also stirring... but the sweetie was busy, which was quite good. Still, he missed her somehow - after all, she was carrying his child under her heart, as they used to say. He still couldn't believe it, he was becoming a father once again.

"Well, listen, quite nice is probably more on the edge. This is dreamy, honey!" Paul grinned contentedly, laid his head against Richard's chest and snuggled lovingly against him.

Richard gave him a kiss on his high forehead and sighed theatrically. He couldn't stand himself at the moment. Since when was he so on diva mode and permanently? Sure, he could be a bitch, no question, but constantly?

At that moment, his phone rang, which he awkwardly pulled out of his pants. He looked at the display. Sylvie... mind transfer? Crap, he had forgotten to check in with her that they had arrived safely. "Yes?" He sounded annoyed, but not at her call, but at himself, which of course she had no way of knowing. "Sorry, sweetie, I'm ... well, you know ... it's all crap." He nodded his head in affirmation to himself.

Meanwhile, Paul had swiped the cigarettes from Richard and sat down on the soft rattan chair. He had pulled a cardigan over his sweater, for it was quite cold. But the sun was shining and the snow was glistening white on the mountain peaks. The scenery was a dream. In any case, he had to manage to make Richard's mood more bearable again. He smoked silently, had his eyes closed and enjoyed the warming rays of the sun.

*

"Yes, and now the other leg. Very slowly!" A physical therapist went through all the exercises with Richard. Richard was sweating and felt totally stupid. He felt like his own grandfather and would have loved to run away, but unfortunately that was not possible. He had to go through it now. He tried to boil himself down, because he disliked the physio guy from the start, even though he really did everything to make Richard get back on his feet and feel somewhat comfortable.

"Yes, I'm doing it!" Richard now grabbed the handholds on either side of the long aisle they were running down.

He was still pretty wobbly on his feet and secretly scared to fall down, but he'd rather cut off his tongue than have the nerve to ask for help.

He really only did that with Paul because he knew he would never hurt him on purpose and because he loved him. Even with Sylvie, he occasionally acted as if he were Mr Universe himself, even though she was smart enough to see through the game. But she let him do it and was quietly amused royally by his posturing.

"Shit, damn it!" he just grumbled to himself, because he had slipped and his leg buckled a little outward and, of course, hurt right back. If this kept up, it would take forever for him to fully recover. He would have loved to stomp up and cry like a little kid.

Of course, the physical therapist was right there, supporting him and helping him into the nearest wheelchair. "Mr Kruspe, please listen to me! I know you don't like me very much, but I'm only here to help you. And of course, that doesn't happen from one day to the next. Patience isn't your strong suit, is it?"

He looked at him intently. The man was probably his age, had a gray beard, gray short hair, and brown kind eyes. He was helpful, and probably knew his job, but since Richard didn't like himself, he took it all out on the man. He just nodded absently. "All right, all right. We'll call it a night." With that, he pushed him out of the big room and took him to her room.

He said goodbye, including to Paul, who had walked right up to Richard and the man, and disappeared. Richard looked down at his legs and would have liked to break something, he was so angry at himself, at everything... but the one who always brought him back to normal temperature when he was stuck to the ceiling upstairs was standing in front of him.

"Reesh, what's wrong?" Automatically, the dark voice of his friend reassured him. Paul helped him out of the wheelchair and onto the couch. He sat down next to him and stroked his thigh. "You want a drink?" Richard shook his head.

"This guy is driving me crazy. The things I have to do, it can't be healthy. And today it hurt so much again, and then the same thing over and over again. I'm going to have a crisis here!" Richard was so caught up in his self-pity that he couldn't think of anything else.

"Just relax, Reesh. The people here just want to help you. It takes time. Think about it, you had an operation, it doesn't happen overnight. And you won't be a twentysomething anymore."

"But... but...", Richard started again.

"No, no, no way, my dear! Now it's over with the bitch mode. If you can't do it on your own, I'll just have to come along to the applications."

Richard looked at Paul, startled. "What? That's not possible."

"Why not? I'll ask in a minute." With that, he pressed a little kiss to Richard's cheek and stormed out of the room.

*

In the meantime, they had been here for almost two weeks, and Richard had slowly come around. Paul was also allowed to come along for the treatments, after practically begging on his knees in front of the doctor. The argument that Richard would otherwise go on forever had finally worked. In addition, he was assigned a new therapist who did the same thing with him as the other one, but apparently the guy was more on Richard's wavelength. For whatever reason.

Paul was sitting in a chair in the corner, and Richard was just on the ergometer, leisurely pedaling. He was making such slow progress, and he noticed it. In other words, his mood had improved considerably.

Outside in the anteroom, the new therapist sat and watched Richard's heart tones on the small monitor in front of him. Slowly, he increased the beat rate of the medical bike, and Richard had to use more force to pedal. He was really trying hard. Anyway, though he got off the bike drained and red-headed, he was walking better and better, albeit slowly. But that didn't matter, after all, he wanted to get better, and that wasn't possible without doing something for it.

"Hey, good job!" Paul had stood up, and at that moment the man came back in.

"That looks pretty good already, Mr Kruspe. If you keep it up now, it can't be long before you're hopping like a young deer again." He laughed boomingly and Richard joined in with a wry smile.

Paul had to put his hand over his mouth behind Richard or he would have let out a loud snort. But his friend was also an exhausting contemporary when things didn't go his way right away. And he felt that he had to go through something like that, not the pain, of course, but all this rehab, so that he could get his feet on the ground again.

Sometimes he really acted like a fucking rock star, which he didn't really want to be. At least that's what he always said in interviews. No, of course, that's why he had a huge loft in the middle of Berlin with all the bells and whistles.

By the way, Paul was still thinking about whether he should move into his house or not. He hadn't come to a conclusion yet, and it would come back to Richard at some point and he would ask him again. He had to think about it calmly. What was best suited for that? Exactly, rest on an intense walk. Without Richard, of course.

He told Richard at supper that he needed a few hours for himself, which Richard of course didn't really like at first, but when he told him that he had to think about many things in peace, he nodded perforce.

*

So the next day Paul was not present at any application, but had put on comfortable clothes, strapped his hiking boots to his feet and leisurely wandered through the breathtaking landscape. From a distance, he saw a herd of cows leisurely grazing, and somehow all was right with the world right now - at least for the moment.

For the moment, he sat munching on a rock at the edge of a hiking trail, looking out over this breathtaking expanse. It was really beautiful here. He was happy that he got to experience it.

Just like he was always happy when they were on tour and he got to experience new cities and cultures. Mexico in particular had done it to him. The fans there were even crazier than those in Europe, which was sometimes really exhausting, but the energy of the people there, who of course had a completely different temperament than the rather reserved Europeans, carried him away and constantly released happiness hormones - and not only on stage, but also in the time in between. He was constantly in a joking mood and could literally embrace the whole world.

He thought about his life, about the whole terrible story with Arielle, he absolutely had to get in touch with her when they were back in Berlin. He had to know how she was doing now and if there was anything wrong again.

His Arielle - how could it have come to this? After the tour before last, when they were still together, they had vacationed together in Mexico. It had been so wonderful, he never thought he would lose her. They had been such a unit for years, nothing fit in between. Sure, they had disagreements too, which was normal in such a long relationship, but they had always gotten back together... and then suddenly everything was different and over!

Paul sighed.

And then he had met Jenny in a phase of his life where he would never have expected it... his Jenny... he thought of her and his heart warmed. He had to talk to her, absolutely. He had not been able to reach her from Berlin. How did she see the whole situation? And would she really move to him in Berlin?

Of course, he also thought about Richard, after all, that was what he had set out on his walk to do. Should he move into his house, into the apartment that had become available? Whenever he thought about him, his heart rumbled uncontrollably and he looked forward to him.

This was all crazy already, he was in a three-way relationship... THAT was something he never thought he would experience.

And yet he was still unsure if this was such a good idea, even though Richard assured him that he would leave him alone if he wasn't up for company.

Richard could hardly stand it alone. Maybe he should bring Khira or Merlin into his boat, so that they would have his back when Richard was annoying. Besides, he had to explain this to his children. But since they were totally relaxed and really liked the fact that he was in a relationship with Richard, they would probably have the least problem with it.

But what was he actually thinking? Well, yes, good Richard could be annoying, but he also loved him, so much so that even he, who was a freedom-loving person, was hurt when he wasn't around him.

Sighing, he packed up the rest of the sandwiches he had made for himself in the breakfast room, got up and wandered thoughtfully back towards the spa clinic.

*

When Paul returned, he found an exhausted Richard lying down on the sofa, looking at him languidly with blinking eyes. Paul got rid of his hiking clothes and sat down next to Richard. "Eww, you stink!" came from Richard, who wrinkled his nose and contorted his face in disgust.

"Are you crazy? That can't be." He smelled under his arms, and unfortunately he had to agree with Richard. He wasn't even aware that he had been sweating so much. Okay, let's get him in the shower right away. Richard grinned mischievously at him. "Alright, I'll be right with you!"

With that, he started toward the bathroom, but Richard held him. "Wait a minute. I'm not letting you go anywhere without a kiss!" Paul rolled his eyes in feigned indignation and gave Richard an affectionate kiss, stroked his cheek and disappeared into the bathroom.

When Paul returned, Richard was up all alone, sitting on the patio smoking. Of course, he would probably never do away with the vice.

"Well, it's getting better with the walking, huh?", asked Paul, and Richard nodded.

"Yes, definitely better." He still wouldn't admit, of course, that rehab had played a huge part in that, but Paul was careful not to ask and just accepted it.

Richard now pulled Paul a little toward him. "And I want you so much!" he whispered in his ringed ear, making Paul all dizzy. "Now you smell good too, mmmmh." He licked over Paul's left ear, which tickled and Paul squirmed under Richard's brushing, squealing.

"What? How can you always think of one thing? You're really impossible!" Paul grinned and wanted to break away from him, laughing, but Richard held him ironclad.

"I know that not everything works yet. But maybe a little?" He almost whispered, wiggling his eyebrows and stroking Paul's short hair.

"But not out here. Come on, we should go inside." With that, he slowly pulled Richard with him into the living area. Richard walked slowly and still limped a bit, but it was definitely much better than at the beginning.

Together they sat down on the spacious living area, and Richard immediately went on the attack by sliding his rather cold hands under Paul's sweater. "Hey, that's cold. But you always have to smoke..." Paul's nipples had instantly erected, but not from excitement, but from cold. No, it didn't work like that.

"Your hands have to warm up first. Shower?" he asked and Richard nodded. He was more than aroused and Paul noticed the little bulge in Richard's sweatpants. He smirked. "Man, that doesn't leave me cold either... Do you really think it's going to work again?"

Richard nodded, because he couldn't get a word out, he longed for Paul, his arousal throbbed hotly in his much too tight pants... he was wearing sweatpants, they couldn't really be too tight. He was hot, and he would have liked to throw all his clothes right off him. This guy drove him crazy, he was suddenly so hot for him that he even forgot about his ticking hip and only wanted Paul to redeem him...

Chapter Text

Paul had carefully peeled Richard's clothes off his adorable body, and now the two of them stood in the shower with Paul stroking Richard. Richard had pressed up against the smaller man and so into one corner of the shower and was kissing him passionately. "Mmmmmh, you taste so much like more, my Paulchen." Richard growled and his tongue sank deep into Paul's mouth again and again.

The hot stream of water had bathed them both in a thick fog and moans and groans could be heard from both of them. Richard had put his hands on Paul's neck and pulled him even closer. He was now kissing his way tenderly over Paul's attractive face. Every single wrinkle of Paul's he kissed, loving every one of them. Even though they were both not the youngest anymore, he thought that Paul had become more and more beautiful over the years. He had a sexual charisma all his own, coupled with his perpetual friendliness and sunny disposition, that was so appealing, Richard couldn't help it - and he didn't want to.

"Stop, Reesh, or this will be over before it starts." Paul was out of breath, his lips were now sore kissed, and he threw his head back slightly. Richard smiled at him and hugged him. So of course Paul noticed Richard's hardness throbbing against his, and pressed so close together it was only a matter of time before the two of them discharged.

He gave Richard a kiss on the crook of his neck and slowly kissed his way down Richard's body. With that he pushed the larger man against the opposite wall and his hands were now busy with Richard's hard little nipples.

Richard tried to hold on somewhere, because of course his just recovering body was not doing everything as one hundred percent as he would have liked already. He found a small handle to hold on to, as Paul's hot lips and expert tongue were now moving into his lap. Paul held onto Richard and got down on his knees in front of him. This sight from above and Paul's played innocent look he gave him simply belonged off limits.

Paul's gentle yet strong hands massaged the soft skin of his testicles and he slowly kissed his way up the hardness towering in front of him. To do this, he took his long tongue and licked up the first salty drops.

"God, Paul, you're driving me crazy..." Richard groaned loudly and lovingly stroked the other man's short hair. And he also realized he wasn't going to last much longer, simply for the reason that his knees were giving out and he didn't yet have the strength back to stand for any length of time without being able to hold on to something. He was still weakened, which was bugging the hell out of him. "Let's move, huh?" he murmured roughly, pulling Paul up with him.

The latter nodded and hooked himself to him. Very slowly, they walked into the cozy living area. They settled down on the large sofa, and Richard lay back in surrender. Paul crawled over him and lay down on top of him. Their two hardnesses were now on top of each other, rubbing against each other as Paul moved and covered Richard with soft kisses.

Then Paul took Richard's face in his hands and looked at him intently. Yes, he loved him, everything about him, even the somewhat strenuous sides. He kissed him on his snub nose, making Richard laugh because it tickled. Then he remembered something. "Haste locked?" He squirmed a bit under Paul, but he reassured him.

"Sure, what do you think of me?" He continued to kiss him and played with Richard's hair, which had grown a little longer after all. Paul thought it suited him. He gently stroked Richard's face again and kissed his way down his body with a wet trail. Then he knelt beside him and when he got to Richard's pleasure center, he kissed his way back over his testicles to Richard's hardness.

His cock was more than plump in the meantime and Paul's tongue ran over it again, combined with little bites that made Richard wince each time. "Oh, what are you doing to me? Oh God ..." Richard overstretched his neck and laid his head back. Both arms had curled into the soft fabric of the sofa, and he had thrust his hips up a little.

Now Paul was taking Richard's length into his warm oral cavity as deep as he could, mimicking slight swallowing motions. Richard tried to spread his legs even more, again sending a small thrust through his hips. He gasped softly, but Paul thought that was because of him. Richard would now do the devil and tell Paul. He would only worry again and this would be over sooner than he would have liked. He was so horny for Paul that he rather kept his mouth shut and enjoyed.

Paul stroked Richard's lower belly faster now and played excitedly with the little hairs that stretched from his navel to Richard's cock. Then he released Richard from his mouth again and continued kissing his way down Richard's thigh. He left a wet trail there too. And up again to Richard's mouth.

Richard tasted himself. He never thought he'd be into this, but with Paul it was all so easy. Paul grinned mischievously, and now he had his big right hand around Richard's cock, massaging it rhythmically and quite firmly.

Richard gasped and clawed himself even deeper into the sofa. "Oh Paul, oh Paul... ohaaaaaa." Richard came violently. Paul had done a great job, as Richard discharged hotly on his own belly in spurts, rolling his pelvis upward over and over. His breathing was choppy and his heart was doing dances in his chest.

He had seldom been so breathless, Paul could satisfy him so orally, he was speechless, and not just because Paul was kissing him stormily now. "Stop, stop, oh ... I ..." Richard couldn't get any more out and Paul lay down next to him. Both of them were out of breath now and slowly regained consciousness. "Now I'd like a cigarette!"

Richard was about to reach for his pants, but Paul put his hand on Richard's arm. "Not. Not now." He turned to Richard and pulled the small blanket lying on the armrest over them both and snuggled up to his friend. He stroked his shoulder and broad chest, lost in thought. He had closed his eyes contentedly and sighed softly.

Richard looked down at him. "I love you, Paul." That was all he could manage at the moment.

"Me you too, Reesh." He still had his eyes closed and that little mischievous smile, for which Richard loved him so, stole onto his lips, swollen from kissing. And then he uttered what Richard was eagerly waiting for.

"And yes, you've said it, I'm moving in with you!"

This came so suddenly that Richard's heart did a giant leap and stumbled in his chest. Paul had finally made up his mind and Richard was so happy that he had finally said it.

"What, really? Oh man, you wouldn't believe how happy I am." Richard pulled him even closer and pressed a wet smack right on his mouth.

"Eww, that's disgusting." Paul tried to escape Richard's clutches, but he held him ironclad.

"No way, I'm never letting go of you again! Never again!" Paul grinned mischievously at him and snuggled back contentedly into Richard's strong arms.

"So, are you okay? Did anything hurt you?" asked Paul.

"Hm, just a little, but it was worth it." Paul sat up, startled.

"What? Why didn't you say anything? You're quite a guy, aren't you? Where did it hurt?" He looked at him sternly. "Honestly, Reesh, this is no fun here, I want to know now, where you have pain! I'm dead serious!"

Richard also slowly straightened up. "Gee, Paul, it wasn't that bad. And I had such a desire for you. And I think you fancied me, too." He cleared his throat. "And even though I'm not one hundred percent recovered yet, I don't ever want to miss out on that, especially with you. Got it?"

Paul looked at him directly, still very serious. "Sure. But honestly, if something hurts, please let me know. Not that there's something else. It won't help us if you have to start all over again. Let's forget about the activities." With that, he wiggled his eyebrows and Richard had to laugh.

"Okay, I promise!" He lay back on his back again, relaxed. "But tell me, what's actually wrong with you? You didn't really get much out of all our action just now, did you?" He was still grinning all over his face, but Paul fought it off.

"Nah, it's all right. All good." He hadn't gotten his money's worth, but at least Richard had, and that was something. Besides, he didn't want to overwhelm him, but Richard didn't see that at all.

"My Paulchen, I want that but..."

"What, to order like that? No, I can't do that." He tried to get up, but had not reckoned with Richard's persistence.

"Stay here!" He pulled him back on top of him and buried his hands in Paul's tight butt. They tried to fight playfully in entwined bodies, tickling each other. They squealed around like young chicks, but Richard finally won and leaned over Paul. "You're so beautiful, do you know that?" he breathed back at him, before very slowly and pleasurably placing his lips on Paul's and very gently trying to slide his tongue into the latter's hot oral cavity.

Paul growled a little, but then opened his lips and received the tongue, which immediately began to play with his. Richard was still lying on his back and Paul was now practically sitting on him. They weren't ready for real sex yet, simply for the familiar reasons, but when Paul tried to kiss his way down Richard's body again, Richard grabbed hold and turned them both over, as best he could, so that now Paul was on the bottom.

Richard was now kissing his way down Paul's neck, nibbling at his skin. He ran his fingers around the dark large nipples and sucked on them. He straightened up a bit and stroked his way down the hard muscles of Paul's stomach until he reached his yet again considerable hardness. "Dude, that's a nice dick!" grinned Richard and Paul playfully slapped him on the arm.

"Say, that's just.... No, I didn't know you could be like that." He jerked his hips a bit so that his cock swung back and forth a bit. Richard started to snort.

"Landers, you are really impossible!" And then he grabbed on, a little too tightly, as Paul made a surprised and gasping sound. Whether that was from horniness or surprise, Richard couldn't make out. Slowly he stroked his way over the tender skin and very slowly, much too slowly for Paul, he took him in his mouth and very gently pressed his tongue against the hot hardness. He took his time, his hands were on Paul's belly and kept stroking him steadily. Paul had clawed his hair and set the rhythm. As deeply as Richard took him in, Paul could only marvel at that. Just the bobbing of his head was driving him crazy and his whole body was tingling.

Richard kept licking and a bit of saliva trailed down a thread as he kept sliding Paul's cock in and out of his mouth. This sight was just so damn hot that Paul couldn't help himself and made slow rolling motions with his pelvis, thrusting upward - careful not to hurt Richard, which he was finding harder and harder to do.

"Oooooh yes, Reesh, yesssss... now..." Paul let go completely and squirted all his pent-up lust onto his belly and partly still into Richard's mouth. Richard grinned at him filthily from below and swallowed.

This sight alone was worth every sin. Sex with a man, with THIS man, was just so incredibly hot and so very different than with a woman. He had, of course, had blowjobs given to him many times in his life by women and, in his youth, by boys, by his ex, by Jenny, by groupies in earlier years, but the way Richard spoiled him and what he felt while doing it and the worlds he shot him into, that could really only be him - Richard, his friend, his love, the man he felt he had known all his life and about whom nothing was strange to him.

"I love you, Reesh..." Tears suddenly spilled from Paul's dark blue eyes, which he tried to wipe away in shame.

"Hey, hey, Paulchen, don't cry. It's all right." Richard stroked his cheek affectionately. "Wait a minute.... Since when do you speak High German?" He was confused. Paul never spoke High German, there was always this Berlin accent in his pronunciation. Why on earth was he speaking High German now???

"I'm not doing that." He sniffled and pulled up his nose. "I just wanted to say, I.... Oh shit all." He stood up abruptly and was about to go to the bathroom, to clean himself up, but Richard held him. "What? I need to take a shower." And already he spun out of Richard's grasp and almost fled in the direction of the bathroom. What was wrong with him? Richard had a very bad suspicion. He got up too and trotted after him as fast as he could.

He pulled open the door and Paul was already in the shower. Richard carefully pulled the shower door aside and got into the shower with him. He hugged Paul from behind and pulled the wet body close to him. "Hm, you smell good," he murmured hoarsely. Paul rested his head back on Richard's shoulder and sighed.

Then a jolt went through his body and he spun around.

"Okay, I'll try. Reesh, I'm moving in with you, I already told you that. And yes, I'm looking forward to it. But what about Jenny? What if you want me? I can't tell her I'm going up to the attic for a quick fuck. What does that look like?" He shook his head. "I think we've really miscalculated with this four-way relationship. Don't you think so? I feel guilty all the time when I'm with you, and vice versa. I'm sure it's the same for you. Do you?"

Richard nodded thoughtfully, but Paul immediately continued. "But with you it's a different story, you're going to be a father, your little girl is going to have your child. That's a bond, you can't do anything about it - I can still see that with my ex-wife. I'll also be forever connected to Arielle, simply because we have Lilly together." He swallowed hard and was about to cry again, but he pulled himself together. "I just wonder then, what about us? I'm so scared of losing you. I'm scared of losing my sweetie, too. Oh, I'm just scared that we're going to get this thing so screwed up that we'll break up in a fight and we'll both be to blame if our band suffers now too. Not to mention our kids and our friends."

Phew, what a speech. Paul was still standing in front of Richard like a wet poodle, nervously kneading his hands and looking down at his feet. Richard stepped up close to him now and put his index finger under Paul's chin, making him look at him.

"Now listen, my little Paul. You see it all super black. Since when did you become so pessimistic? None of us can see into the future. Let's enjoy our time together. And be glad that we both have such relaxed friends who tolerate this with us. It doesn't get any better than that. And as for our kids, they are so relaxed anyway. All of them... Khira, Emil, Merlin and Lilly. They have their own lives, and I honestly think it's somewhere in the back of their minds. As long as you and I are happy, everything is fine. And what our friends say about it, I don't know, of course - but if they're real friends, they can take it, they understand... no question. And I'm not just talking about Till and the others now, but also your friends and mine outside our band."

He put both hands to Paul's face. Then he gave him an intense and very passionate kiss, with Paul clinging to Richard to keep from falling over with excitement. Richard grinned into the kiss and then breathlessly broke away from Paul. "I might again..." He cleared his throat and pressed his pelvis very close to Paul's and thus him back against the shower wall.

Paul laughed liberatedly. "Reesh, honestly? If it goes on like this, we'll fuck our souls out. I didn't have as much sex as with you in either of my marriages. And why do you want to go again, I think you're in pain?"

Richard pulled a pout. "Yes, well, it goes... Do you not want me something more?"

Paul chortled. "I always want you, Richard, and my stomach is tingling so much again. And yes, I want to feel you, inside me... do you think it's going to be okay again or is it still too exhausting for you? Especially with the pain?" Paul played with Richard's left nipple and squeezed a little, causing Richard to flinch briefly.

"I really don't know. But it would be worth a try, wouldn't it?" With that, he pulled Paul even closer to him and whispered hoarsely in his ear, "Turn around!" which Paul didn't need to be told twice....

After a short preparation of Richard's fingers by means of body lotion, Paul stretched his ass towards him, and Richard penetrated him very carefully. His pelvis slowly rolled forward and when he was completely inside Paul, he slowly moved. He listened into his body - no, all quiet, no pain.

Paul had both arms braced against the wall and his legs spread a little more. Richard had one hand on Paul's hip and the other stroking his chest from behind, playing with his nipples. He bit into Paul's neck with relish and licked apologetically over the little red spot.

He was glad, because so far his hips weren't bitching, he dared another slightly bigger movement. All was well and he realized he was getting hornier and hornier for this body in front of him. He loved sex with Paul, it was so intense and so exciting. And just beautiful to be as close as possible to this loved one.

Richard unerringly hit the sensitive spot inside Paul, as Paul made squeaking choppy sounds and pushed his ass closer and closer to Richard, making him slide deeper again. Paul slowly slid his hands down the slippery wall of the shower and had now taken hold of his own hardness, massaging in the same rhythm as Richard thrust into him.

This rhythm increased steadily and he felt that Richard's cock was getting harder and harder the faster he took him from behind. His whole body was tingling. The sound of two bodies colliding, that deep moan from both of them and in addition the heat of the water jet above them, made them both come at the same time. Paul splashed off and right against the wall in front of them.

But Richard couldn't stop ejaculating either, so he leaned against Paul and into his own cum. "Ewww..." was all Paul said before he half turned his head to Richard, who gave him a passionate kiss and thrust hard with his tongue into Paul's mouth. As he did so, he continued to stroke Paul.

After what felt like an eternity, Richard then very carefully withdrew from Paul again and devoutly stroked the hot skin. He spread little kisses on Paul's back, and when Paul turned all the way to him again, he hugged him effusively, and now Paul realized that Richard was crying too. "I'm so happy with you, my Paul... I... I..." Richard couldn't say more just then, because his feelings overwhelmed him and he turned away ashamed. Actually, he was not that emotional, but what Paul triggered in him, no one had ever managed.

"Hey, there's no need to be embarrassed. Reesh, I'm happy too."

Then the two finally washed themselves clean. Together they stepped out of the shower and rubbed each other dry with the big fluffy hotel towels.

*

A little later, the two lay relaxed on the large living room couch, wrapped in the two large blankets, and idly watched the television. "What time do you have to leave for training tomorrow?", Paul just asked Richard, but he had already fallen asleep and snored peacefully quietly to himself.

Paul looked at him. Richard was beautiful, just after sex. His cheeks were flushed, his damp hair had partially fallen in his face, and he twitched his nose slightly in his sleep. Paul gave him a fleeting kiss on that little nose he loved so much, and lightly wiped a few strands from Richard's face. Richard grumbled to himself and turned a little to the side.

Paul thought again. Yes, he was happy. Very much so. And yes, of course, it wasn't all easy, but he had to finally get off the trip of constant brooding, otherwise it would all just fall apart at some point, and he certainly didn't want that.

Now Richard had to finish the rehab properly and then they would see... Besides, they would soon be touring again, meaning tour preparations, rehearsal shows, press appointments, administrative stuff....

And he had to report to Arielle, even if that was anything but easy.... He cared about her, never had, and even if they weren't together anymore, she was still a part of his life and would be forever.... Slowly, his eyes fell closed as well.

Chapter Text

Richard sat distraught in front of a young female doctor. He had tears in his eyes and didn't even know why. He hadn't even guessed that his rehab included psychological counseling. Paul wasn't included, he was gymnastics somewhere in the countryside or enjoying some wellness program, lucky him. Richard sighed in frustration.

Thus he sat here alone, feeling like a rabbit in front of a snake. The woman was attractive in her own way and totally friendly-accommodating, but as soon as someone appealed to his psyche, Richard shut down and felt attacked from all sides. And that's exactly what he gave the woman in front of him.

He angrily wiped the tears from his face and wanted to stand up, but his leg didn't cooperate, he felt a stabbing pain and immediately fell back on his backside in the comfortable armchair.

"Owaaa, damn it!" He would have preferred to scream out loud. But that didn't help, so he put his head back on the headrest and tried to breathe through very slowly.

The doctor in front of him had jumped up and squatted down next to the chair. "Mr Kruspe, what are you doing?" She had gently placed a hand on his arm, reassuring Richard.

But defiance had Richard fully in its grip, so he tried to get up again, but he had no chance. He could have howled like a little child and would have preferred to stomp up too, but he couldn't, after all he was a more than grown man.

He had to come down from the trip and trust the doctor if he wanted to get through this. Nothing was going to help. Richard mumbled something incomprehensible to himself.

She stood up again and sat down in her chair. As she did so, her skirt slid up a bit and Richard wouldn't be Richard if he didn't risk a glance. Well, not so bad, he thought. At the same moment he scolded himself for being a fool. What was the point of this again? He was happy with Paul, he was happy with Sylvie, she was having a child with him. And again these thoughts came... he was always thinking about the one thing in the most impossible moments... this was not normal at all. Was he really a sex addict? It couldn't be underfucked, after all, when he thought back to the last night with Paul. He grinned to himself.

But despite everything, he had been thinking about this very topic a lot lately. Maybe a psychologist should take a look at it. And right now he was right there, with a psychologist. He thought about it. Should he tell this doctor? Or at least give it a quick test to see what she thought? He was quite undecided... but it came down to a try.

"I... I think I'm hooked..." he tried slowly and deliberately. He had his eyes closed and was waiting for a reaction, which of course didn't come.

He opened his eyes again and looked challengingly at the woman in front of him. She didn't move a muscle. For better or worse, Richard had to be more direct. "Well, I mean... I'll just stand up..." He broke off again. Somehow he was totally embarrassed to tell this strange doctor something so intimate.

She tightened up. "Okay, got it. So you want to talk - well, let's talk... So what are you into, Mr Kruspe?" She leaned back, and a small smile played around her mouth. She had a nice mouth, Richard thought. Not too full lips, especially not splashed ones, and flashing light brown eyes.

There, again. Surely this couldn't be true. Flashing eyes his Paulchen had, too, but in the most beautiful blue he had ever seen. And he didn't even need to start with Sylvie's starry eyes.

"I ... I think I'm ... well, addicted to sex, no matter with whom!" he stammered helplessly to himself.

He had said it, softly, but he had said it, but the doctor wanted to hear it out loud again. He repeated the sentence louder. But she would not let him off the hook until he almost screamed. He had become so enraged that he was as red as a beetle in the face and would have liked to strangle her. What a stupid cow! He was panting loudly and felt as if the woman could see into the darkest recesses of his soul.

"Are you satisfied now?" Oh, he still didn't like her, and that apparently wasn't going to change. How wrong he was. She wouldn't get anything out of him anymore, he was offended. What was the point of it all? He was not prepared for the whole thing to degenerate like this - and whenever Richard was not prepared for something, he became insecure and thus also erratic in his actions and unfair to those around him.

Now all he needed was for her to bring up that unspeakable coke thing from decades ago, and he would be screwed.

"Mr Kruspe, may I ask you something else?" She had leaned back in her chair again, hands relaxed on her notepad. He knew it, that was exactly WHAT she wanted to know from him....

He nodded caught and still squirmed like an eel to avoid that very question. Because this whole thing with the drugs back then had only partly to do with his workload. It also had something to do, of course, with his sex addiction and, last but not least, with his unfulfilled longing for a certain rhythm guitarist who, in that long-ago phase, hadn't even thought about ever doing anything with him, Richard Z. Kruspe.

"I don't know about you, but the stereotype of musicians of all kinds is that there are not always legal substances involved. - So, hand on heart, have you ever been involved with drugs?" She was a little flushed herself, but Richard was trying to play it cool now.

"Yes, I have had. And no, I'm not proud of it," he began. And then everything he could think of about it bubbled out of him. That constant pressure from management at the time, the pressure to make the next album sound as good as the first. The colleagues who relied on him, this unspeakable marriage with Caron, the move to New York, the emptiness he had felt in the giant city at that time, although he was partying every weekend and and and...

... and of course this insane and unfulfilled love for Paul and that he could never really reveal himself to him, because Paul was already married and happy at that time. He had just become a father for the second time and was proud as can be. Not to mention that he didn't believe that Paul was into men.

Richard couldn't come up with the idea that he'd secretly had a crush on him from the very beginning. And why was he, anyway? Richard questioned his whole being at that time. Did he like men, did he like women, did he want both - one after the other, at the same time, young, old, married, taken? He had been in so many relevant establishments around the globe, he had lost count. Not to mention the willing ladies, and yes, gentlemen, after concerts and at parties.

But this perpetual longing had remained. And gnawed at him. Even his wife at the time could not change that, let alone the birth of Merlin, of Khira and also not the relationship with Margaux and the birth of his little treasure Maxime.

He told her about his first encounter with Paul - how he loved him from the start, this cheeky and rebellious whirlwind, who annoyed everyone with his manner, but who was also so loving and cheerful that you just had to love him. But Richard wanted to be super cool and so he had simply pushed that to the back of his mind and somehow checked it off.

And then he had started experimenting with weed, then ecstasy, because the nights in the various clubs were long and exhausting... at some point he had landed on coke and had noticed that he could do much more and also enjoy himself longer.

He hadn't realized at the time that he was pretty much alone in that. He tried to hide his addiction from his colleagues, friends and family, but at some point he almost died from a so-called speedball.

Paul, of all people, had saved him then. And when Paul didn't let up, he had then undergone a lengthy and rather exhausting therapy in the States. The addiction came back a bit weaker, but the new therapy in Berlin had also helped, and finally he had overcome this drug addiction, thank God. Without his family, friends and of course his colleagues he would never have managed it. And not without Paul anyway.

Nowadays, he only drank a glass of wine now and then, but he would probably never overcome his cigarette addiction. Speaking of which... "Can I have a smoke?" he asked cautiously, but Doc Schmidt replied in the negative. Sure, she's a doctor. He raised his eyes, but she immediately moved on to the next topic, lest he get any ideas.

"Tell me more about your current life, how do you feel today? And yes, please also about the problems with your hip and back, and how it came about."

Actually, she could read all that in the medical record, Richard thought, but he told it anyway, everything, every detail.

"... And then we did this joke with the colleagues, and at least I realized that there's still a lot of feeling for Paul," he tried to end the matter, but she wouldn't let up.

"And what about this woman from Hamburg?"

Richard smiled. "Sylvie? Yes, I have an instant crush on her." She smiled again.

"But there was still your colleague, wasn't there? How did she take that?"

Richard nodded and told the doctor how great his girlfriend had reacted to it all and, after an art pause, that he was going to be a father again.

"Oh, yeah, well that's news. But how wonderful for you. Congratulations. And what does your boyfriend's girlfriend, or your boyfriend, say about it?"

"As long as Paul and I keep our affections to ourselves, the two women have no problem with it. Paul, of course, had his reservations at first, but it's going quite well now." Richard nodded proudly again.

"Respect! Well, I don't think I could do that. Such a relationship with four. - And one more question for today: does anyone besides your family and friends know that you're in a relationship with your colleague?"

She had bitten off more than she could chew and really seemed to want to know EVERYTHING. Richard squirmed nervously in his chair again. He had an inkling of what was to come.

"No, only our immediate crew knows about this yet. And I'd like to keep it that way for now, please."

"But why don't you be open about it, Mr Kruspe?"

Bingo! He had known, and now he shook his head dismissively.

"And what about the stage kisses? Haven't the fans wondered to what extent that's just for show?" This woman had to have studied him so much, their shows, the few interviews they gave, just everything. He was shocked.

"Well, that's something else. This is really just show!"

"But you started this back then because you wanted to make a statement against homophobia, or am I wrong?"

Richard swallowed hard. "Nah, you're not wrong, that's true. But one thing is show and what Paul and I have is private and really no one's business outside."

He gave her a dirty look, but she didn't let it rattle her. Richard really wanted to end the conversation now, but Doc Schmidt was more than persistent, because she realized exactly that there was still something up with Richard.

"Mr Kruspe, I don't want to do you any harm, but nevertheless the whole thing is stewing inside you, I can tell!"

Richard had had enough, he became a little louder and his voice took on a decidedly harsh tone. "How do you imagine that? I'm a guitarist in Germany's most famous band. Surely I can't just stand in front of an audience or in front of some journalists and say that I'm - yes, what actually - gay?" Richard noticed how he was slowly but surely boiling up more and more.

"Well, that's not quite true - more bisexual, I'd say," she interjected labidly.

"Yes, that too. But you can't, never let the public know. Period!"

"And why not?"

"Why not? Um, well, how does that look - we're making hard music, and then the two guitarists with the killer riffs are gay or bi?" Richard tried to keep breathing normally, but realized the conversation was straining him beyond belief.

"So what? I guarantee there are men or women in their line of work who are into the same gender, too. There's nothing wrong with that."

Richard looked at her like a car and resigned. "Sure there are, but not in this metal scene..." He set down, exhausted. "Uh, well, nah, so... okay. I'll have to talk to Paul about that first, I think..." He had gotten up awkwardly. And now even the doctor noticed that he just wanted to leave. She tried to calm him down.

"Mr Kruspe, now just stay relaxed. Everything you say here stays here - doctor-patient confidentiality, remember? I just wanted to say that sometimes you have to go unexplored ways, just to be more relaxed. Maybe this is your way to better deal with her whole depressed mood and the resulting consequences."

He looked at her again. There was nothing evil in her gaze. She was neutral. "Hmm, I understand that, but what does all this actually have to do with my rehab here and the physical ailments?"

"We'll clarify that in the next session - next week!" That was the end of the subject for her for now, and Richard slowly walked out of the small examination room, musing.

*

Paul had been wandering around for quite a while when he arrived at a large display board. There were several billboards with ads for day trips, some of which went to the Czech Republic, but also to Austria. He didn't know now whether Richard was allowed to do such things at all within such a rehab, but asking didn't cost anything after all.

He took a cell phone picture of the board. When he was back in Bad Griesbach, he would ask Richard's doctor again. Richard would definitely like that, too. He wouldn't be alone, and he wouldn't have to drive himself. Paul smiled to himself, that was a more than good idea, he thought. Besides, his friend had made good progress in the last two weeks, and he could save the wheelchair now. He was walking slowly, but at least he was walking again. And sex was going again, too. Paul smiled dirtily to himself. He thought of the last time between them. He loved this man, everything about him, even the bitchy parts.

Suddenly his cell phone rang. Paul was a little startled, he hadn't expected it at all. After all, Richard's appointment with the psychologist was certainly not over yet. So, it couldn't be him. He awkwardly pulled the cell phone out of his pocket. His girlfriend, oh how nice.

"Well, my little one, everything okay with you?", Paul answered his phone cheerfully.

"Yeah sure, everything's fine. I miss you, Paul. Very much so," came from the small receiver. Paul sat down on a stone by the side of the road and his expression softened. Of course he missed his sweetie, too. Even if he had just been thinking about something completely different. This constant back and forth was anything but easy for him, too.

"Oh, my sweetheart, I miss you too. But first we have to get good Richy back on track, you know that." His smile widened, and while talking on the phone he watched a flock of sheep lying leisurely in the grass and the little dog frolicking excitedly around the flock. He had to think of Minni, he missed the little mouse. But with Emil she was in good hands.

"Paul, are you still there?" came from the receiver. Paul winced briefly.

"Yes, of course I'm still here. What do you have in your heart to call me?" He stood up again and walked on leisurely.

"Nothing special, I just wanted to hear you. And ask how the rehab is going."

"Yes, everything is going well. Reesh can also walk again to some extent, a little slowly, but he is walking. Right now he is with a psychotrist, no idea what that's all about. After all, he is here because of the hip and the surgery afterwards and not because of his head. Well, that's just the way it is." He kicked a small stone away from him.

"Okay, well, that doesn't sound so bad. And that with the psychologist must be apparently, I guess they want to clarify everything. How long are you actually going to be in Bavaria?"

"I don't know, sweetie, it was only supposed to last four weeks, but I'm afraid it's going to be a little longer. We'll see what the psychologist thinks. Tomorrow Richard will have a talk with the head physician and then we'll see. In any case, I'll let you know when we go back to Berlin. I miss you, too - very much." That was true, he really missed his girlfriend, even when he was with Richard. The fact that one could love two people and at the same time was new to him and sometimes very exhausting.

"Oh Paul, then I hope that this all goes over quickly, as they say. But something else. You actually wanted to tell me something else, can you still remember it?"

Paul knew exactly what Jenny meant by that, but he didn't want to ask her on the phone if she would move in with him, and then at Richard's house. He had to thread that very carefully, it wasn't something that could be done so easily on the side. After all, it was a big decision.

He fumbled a bit, but talked himself out of it, that he had to go back quickly, after all Richard needed him. "You little one, sorry, I have to get back, I think Richard needs me."

And since his girlfriend was the world's best girlfriend ever, she didn't start a discussion, but sent a kiss through the ether and still said he should get in touch. He would definitely do that - there was still a lot to sort out! Wistfully, the thought of Arielle crept into his brain again; yes, she would have reacted exactly the same way. All the freedom he had had for the last twenty years was due in no small part to her. He took a deep breath.

Then he pressed the little red receiver on his smartphone and pocketed it again. He glanced at his wristwatch. Oh, so late after all. He had plugged in a compass that his grandfather had given him. Such a thing was worth its weight in gold on hiking tours, especially in foreign climes. He headed south and followed the sparse signs in the direction of the spa clinic.

Chapter Text

"What? She really wanted to know that from you? I don't know if it's really necessary, Reesh, but you're here because of your hip, not because of your injury." Paul sat across from his friend on the wide sofa in their apartment and was visibly shocked.

"Well, at first I hated her for asking those questions, then in the end it wasn't so bad. Next week she'll want to know more." Richard looked at Paul strained. "Maybe rehashing this whole story again isn't so bad, either."

"But why this one? You've been through it before. First with the Americans, then here in Berlin, I actually thought you'd gotten over it." Paul took a sip of the coffee he had just brewed for himself and Richard.

Richard moved closer to Paul and rested his head on his shoulder. "But I am, too, my little Paul. Don't worry so much, huh? First thing tomorrow morning is the talk with Dr Feldmann and then we'll see." He gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and hummed with pleasure. Then something occurred to him again. "Say, did you actually ask at the front desk if we could get a room to practice in, we didn't take our guitars for nothing, did we?"

Paul looked at him guiltily, he had completely forgotten about that in all the excitement. "Um, no, oh God, sorry. I'll get right on that." With that he jumped up and was about to storm out of the room, but Richard held him by the arm.

"Wait a minute, not so stormy. We can work this out after lunch, can't we?" With that, he pulled Paul close to him again. Paul grinned at him and sat cheekily on Richard's lap.

"You can't be serious! You want sex before noon? What was that again? Sex addict? I have come to believe that as well." He laughed all over his handsome face and Richard put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down to him, only to steal a rather passionate and hot kiss.

"Say, are you still up for it? Now you're starting to do that too. I just wanted to kiss you, that's all. I swear!" With that, Richard breathlessly broke away from Paul and held up both hands apologetically.

"Yes, yes, you too. I won't believe a word you say. So come on, Kruspe, off to the food trough. I'm hungry as hell." With that, he pulled him up gently but firmly, and together they left the room for the dining hall.

*

Richard had retired after lunch and wanted to lie down for a while. The whole therapy was taking a lot out of him, especially the part with Doc Schmidt.

Paul had actually gone to the front desk and asked for a rehearsal room. They were lucky, in the back of the clinic there were some rooms for all sorts of things, including rehearsals, where they didn't disturb anyone. He was thrilled and went after the friendly lady from the reception.

"So, Mr Landers, this would be the room where you can practice undisturbed. Don't worry about the other guests, these rooms here are so far away from the others, you won't disturb anyone here even at night." She was right about that. The rooms were located behind the large park on the edge of the adjoining grove - nothing better could happen to them. The guys in Berlin would already be rehearsing, after all, the start of the tour wasn't that far away. So they did everything right, Paul thought. He thanked her and the receptionist gave him the key.

Whistling, he inspected the room and took some photos to share with Richard. He was glad that they could practice here and that Richard was making great progress, even if the psychologist was probably not his cup of tea.

But suddenly he noticed that there was someone else in the room, he suddenly had a bad feeling in his stomach. He jerkily turned around... and then it happened! Paul only noticed that something heavy and big was coming towards him and then tore his skull away... It became dark around him...

*

"Have you seen my friend? He wanted to ask you if we could have a rehearsal room!", Richard just addressed the young receptionist. He had woken up from a very strange dream to find that Paul was not there.

He had waited quite a while, watching a bit of TV, playing around on his cell phone, but at some point he had gotten worried, so he had walked very slowly to the reception. He still had a little pain in his hip area, but the movement still felt good.

"Sorry, my shift just started. My colleague should know then. Wait, she's still here," the friendly lady answered him. With that, she went to the back reception area and came back with her colleague. She then explained to Richard that she had found a rehearsal room for the two of them and that she had given Paul the keys. "He wanted to look around the room some more," the woman replied to Richard.

"And when was that?" She answered him truthfully. "Well, that was ages ago. I have a really bad feeling about it. Something happened, or he'd be back here by now. I tried to call him, but it just went to voicemail." Richard became restless and sweat broke out. He wiped his face uneasily. "Please, quick, tell me where it is!" Richard was pretty much done for.

She took his arm reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. Maybe he's already started rehearsing too and didn't hear you." the young woman tried to reassure Richard, but something in his gut told him that wasn't the case.

"Please, let us look. Please!" She looked at him frankly, nodded, and together they walked toward the clinic park.

Out of breath, they both arrived at the premises, which were somewhat off to the side, but there was no sign of Paul. The room itself was open, but Paul was not inside. "You've got to be kidding me! Where the hell is he?" Richard had slumped against the doorframe, and he realized that tears were slowly streaming down his face. He didn't give a shit what he looked like either, if something happened to Paul, he wouldn't survive it.

The receptionist was standing close to him now, reassuring him. "Relax, Mr Kruspe, he can't be far. The area is guarded, so don't worry about it. We'll find him." She put a hand on his arm. "Come on, I'll try to reach security and see if they've noticed anything." Richard nodded and slowly walked behind the woman back toward the main house.

"So, were you able to get anything?" inquired Richard impatiently after the woman had spoken to the securities. She shook her head. "No, they didn't notice anything unusual." He pulled his eyes up and just couldn't believe it. Where was Paul?

*

Paul awoke very slowly from a dull feeling. Slowly, the black before his eyes turned to gray. The light blinded him, and he didn't know where he was. He couldn't really move either. He felt like he was in a nightmare. What had happened? A throbbing headache was in him, and slowly the memory seeped into his mind. He had been hit from the front when he had looked at the rehearsal room.

He tried to see something, but everything was blurry. He blinked a few times. Now it was getting better. He was lying tied up on the floor of a room.

And now the door slowly opened ... and in walked none other than the guy Arielle had fallen for. This couldn't be true! He had already repressed this whole story, and now it came back like a boomerang. The guy smiled greasily and knelt down next to him. "Well, you faggot? How do you like that? You thought I was going to put up with that, didn't you?" His voice was just unpleasant and boomed in Paul's ears. "You didn't expect that, did you? But I told you all, eventually everyone will pay - including you!"

He stood up again, chuckling maniacally to himself. "You guys have enough dough, it won't hurt you." He turned a little and lit a cigarette in the room. Actually, smoking was forbidden in the rooms, but that didn't bother the creep. Paul tried to say something, but only a croak came out. He closed his eyes and realized that his heart was pounding up to his throat. He wasn't really the fearful type, but people like that didn't care about anything, they were totally nuts.

He had experienced something like that before, back in their early days with Rammstein, a girl had fallen so in love with Schneider that she had stalked him for months. When she noticed that he didn't make an effort, she threatened him and did very strange things. Thank God Schneider had called the cops right then, so the woman could be taken out of circulation. But that something like that would happen again, and to him, he would never have expected.

Well, they were known as colorful dogs, so you could expect it, but actually they were well secured, at least when they moved within the job. Rather in the focus was Till, who was constantly and everywhere recognized and photographed. He always thought that at least he, Olli, Schneider and Flake would have more peace. With Richard and Till it was somehow something else, they were also the two who gave interviews from time to time.

No one except their closest people knew anything about Richard's rehab. Especially not where it took place and that Paul had gone along. So how did this guy know? And above all, what did he want with her money? He was a businessman, at least according to Arielle, Ulrike and Mr Mueller. Actually, one could assume that this man had enough money.

Paul was confused, but now this guy started talking again. Paul listened only with half an ear, he could not really concentrate. He now tried to speak again. "What...what do you want from us?" His throat hurt and he coughed. The guy knelt down next to him now and slowly stroked his cheek. Paul tried to turn away, because this guy smelled unpleasant. I wonder if he had done the same to Arielle. He squeezed his eyes shut strained, hoping it wouldn't be that bad.

"Don't take offense, buddy, you might be a nice guy personally, but what you guys are doing with your crappy band and what you're raking in for snot, I'd like a little bit of that. Other than that, you guys are in our way."

He stood back up and had his back turned to Paul. "We are an elite club of several influential people who find elements like you to beastly against the grain. It's time the world order was restored." Upset, he spun around again. "I'm going to turn my attention to your friend, that handsome and arrogant snob who pretends to need help here." With that, he yanked open the door and locked it from the outside. Paul was alone. He was even more confused now. What did this guy want? World domination, elite club? That sounded pretty schizophrenic...

*

Richard and the receptionist had now alerted security and the men had swarmed all over the hospital grounds. At the moment, Richard was sitting in the lobby, completely exhausted, staring at his cell phone. He still couldn't reach Paul, and he was sure now that something bad must have happened.

"Damn it, Paulchen, where are you?" he spoke quietly to himself, his heart pounding hard in his chest. If someone had hurt his friend, he would pay for it, he swore to himself.

"Mr Kruspe? Will you come with me, please? I have someone who really needs to talk to you," a woman he didn't know addressed him seriously. Richard looked up at her, startled, and cautiously got up from the comfortable chair. "May I ask how you know me? And who are you?" He was quite unsure and didn't trust the whole thing.

"Come with me, otherwise I can't guarantee anything!" She spoke somewhat broken German and Richard became more and more alarmed. There was something very wrong. He still couldn't believe it. He was here to get well again - and then something like this happened. What was going on with Paul? What kind of woman was that?

The woman walked a bit stiffly in front of him through the eternally long corridors of the clinic. Up to a room, which was a bit secluded. "Here it is!" Then she disappeared silently and Richard now stood somehow lost in front of the hotel room. He knocked cautiously, not knowing what was behind it and what awaited him.

"Always come in!" someone spoke from inside and somehow this voice seemed familiar to him. Somewhere he had heard it before. He carefully pushed the handle down and opened the door. What he saw then made his blood run cold.

As fast as his feet carried him, he ran towards Paul, who was now at least sitting on a chair, but still tied up.

"Paulchen, my Paulchen..." He sobbed and sank to his knees in front of him. He held onto Paul's leg and slowly stroked it. "What's the matter with you, what..." That's as far as he got, because.

"Heyhey, not so hasty, mister!" With that he was pulled to his feet by strong hands and pushed roughly against the wall. A guy with a brutal expression and cold eyes held his arms in front of Richard's chest, and now he also saw another man slowly approaching him from the semi-darkness of the room.

"Well, who do we have here? The other fag. Well, how is he in bed, is he good at it?" With that he pointed at Paul, who was slumped over. Richard wanted to break away angrily, but the guy in front of him had bear strength, and even Richard, who was anything but weak, had no chance against him.

"Let go of me, you ass!", Richard hissed at him, trying to wriggle out of his grip. "What have you done to Paul?" Richard was wriggling around so much against the wall that he finally managed to do it and pushed the man in front of him off of him. But now the other guy was coming toward him - he knew it, he had seen him before ... how on earth did he know him?

"Well, is the realization coming slowly, Mr Upperside?" this man addressed him directly now, and the tugging in Richard's chest grew even stronger. He closed his eyes and tried to take a slow breath... and then the memory hit him. Yes, that's right, it was that greaseball who had shown up with Arielle in the little pub in Hamburg where Jenny worked and where he had met his Sylvie. This realization hit him like a blow. His Sylvie, oh God, what was being played here?

What was this guy doing here? Did Arielle have something to do with it? Was her whining at Christmas just a diversion? He couldn't imagine that with the best will in the world. From what he had seen of Paul's ex-wife in recent years, she had always been a pretty tough and straightforward woman.

"Well, do you recognize me, you big shot?" He walked up to him, and all of a sudden he had a gun in his hand and was pointing it at him. Richard had been through something like this before, back in America, when he had also once dealt with a criminal in his younger years. He flinched, this could get pretty dangerous. If there were weapons involved, the whole thing was definitely no longer a game. Paul's head was also jerking up now and his face was red and tear-stained. Richard would have loved to go back to him, but the man in front of him wouldn't allow it. He grabbed him in a flash, had Richard pushed against the wall again and was now twisting his arm backwards.

"Owuuaaaa!", Richard cried out. But the man tied him up and pushed him to the floor, next to the chair where Paul was sitting, or rather hanging. He was not well and Richard was afraid that he would not last much longer. What a bunch of bullshit.

"So, friend, now we're going to talk straight." And with that, he talked about his oh-so-great elite club, all the stuff he probably told his followers all the time in his so-called sessions. The whole thing reminded Richard a lot of sects like Scientology, which were also very present in New York.

When he was done, it was clear that he had all the connections to destroy them and their friends, girlfriends and families. Of course, none of them could allow that, especially since the others didn't seem to know anything about it. He now came to talk about Arielle and Schneider's wife, in such a derogatory tone that Richard would have liked to smack him. But he couldn't. He tugged and pulled at the shackles and tried to get free somehow, but now his hip started to bitch again.

"Don't you dare talk about our friends and families like that!" he snapped at him, immediately catching one from the gorilla this guy had brought with him. He realized he was tasting blood. His lip had apparently split open. Great!

"What more do you want? Do you actually realize that you wantonly destroyed a happy marriage? You kidnapped my boyfriend, you kidnapped me, and you did it in a clinic for people who attend rehab or have so much money that they can afford to enjoy wellness here. Apparently, it's really the money, the dirty money? You can have it, we have more than enough of it...", Richard started to turn the clock, which was not really his thing. He was well-to-do, as the saying went, but he didn't like to let it hang out, they all didn't, they hadn't been brought up that way.

But this idiot apparently needed such announcements. "I don't need your money, mister. Not just, anyway! I want you to provide us with information, any information. You can get a lot of things from being a celebrity. It's about time someone else took over the reins here."

Richard shook his head, this guy was so crazy, there was no such thing. "And how should the whole thing look then, and above all, why this effort?"

"It is necessary for our association to grow, so that we can prove to the world that it has only been deceived up to now. We started here in Germany, but we will show the whole world that they can rely on us!"

"But why us? Why were Arielle and Ulrike infiltrated, so to speak?" He echoed, turning dark red. "What is actually being played here? What does your so-called elite club have against us?" He couldn't comprehend any of this at all and asked directly. "And what the hell were you actually up to when you pumped Arielle and Ulrike full of drugs?" Mr Mueller had said it wasn't, but Richard was convinced that it was.

"Well, the two ladies aren't entirely unattractive, are they? And just in case..." this guy started to get even sleazier. Richard could have puked. The whole story was so weird and incomprehensible, Richard couldn't believe it.

"And now? What are you going to do with us? Are you going to let us disappear completely from the scene? I'm curious to see if you'll get away with it then! After all, they'll miss us at the clinic and ask questions."

The guy came closer again and started grinning diabolically. "Oh, let me worry about that. But when I think about it, your crazy band without any guitarists at all - that wouldn't be bad. Especially since you guys are so proud of the fact that you've been playing with the same lineup since the beginning. Who would take over your part or that of your friend? Maybe that weird guy with the weird pronunciation?"

"His name is Till, you asshole!", Richard couldn't help himself, but the guy spun around to the window and started giggling loudly and maniacally.

"But no, that would be too easy. I'd be in favor of you just going back to your perfect world now, you continuing your rehab and being fully available to us for selected stuff and information. Partly also with financial support, should it ever be necessary. How does that sound to you?"

He had turned back around and was looking at Richard out of cold pale blue eyes. "Or should we tell the whole world that you and your colleague have a more than strange relationship and apparently have been for quite some time. I think your oh so loyal fanbase would probably have a huge problem with that. Wouldn't you? Not to mention your new girlfriends. And families. And yes, children too. I think something could be done if you don't deliver! A little accident there, strange things happen there... uhhh.... Can happen!" He started laughing like a madman again.

Richard tugged at his restraints again. But the guy suddenly conjured up a black cloth and had it wrapped around Richard's head in no time, blindfolding him. His henchman did the same to Paul.

*

All of a sudden, the room went quiet - they were alone again. Richard hardly dared to breathe, but he had to keep Paul awake. "Paul?" he whispered into the unfamiliar darkness. But he received no answer. He was beginning to feel afraid. "Paul? Honey...please say something? Paul?"

He crawled on his butt, face contorted in pain, to the right toward the chair where he still suspected Paul was. He leaned against its leg, but Paul was ice cold. Oh God, no, please don't... Richard didn't care about anything - he was screaming at the top of his lungs....

Chapter Text

Suddenly everything happened very quickly and the door was kicked open rudely. Richard heard some people come into the room and his blindfold was taken off. "My friend, he... he..." That was as far as he got. The fact that there were suddenly people there to help made him faint graciously.

*

A few days later...

Richard had spent the last few days in the hospital's guarded infirmary. Anxiety about Paul and his hip acting up again had completely knocked him out. In addition, his attending physician had put him on sedatives.

"Mr Kruspe, can you hear me?" he was gently awakened. In front of him was a nurse who had just brought in breakfast. He felt as if he had been hit over the head with a hammer. He had a throbbing headache and now the fear of what had happened to Paul was coming back. The rescue workers at the hospital had quickly taken him out of the danger zone, and what had happened to Paul he hadn't even noticed. Of course he was worried. He tried to sit up and the nurse helped him. Richard cleared his throat and was thirsty as hell.

"What...what happened? Where am I?" he croaked hoarsely. He looked around, startled, but the woman reassured him. "Where is my friend, what happened to him?"

"Mr Kruspe, don't worry. Your friend is fine. He's right next door in the room," she answered him. "Here, have a drink first!" With that, she held a sippy cup in front of his face and Richard drank greedily.

"Can I see him?" Richard tried to get up, but fell back into the hospital bed, powerless. "Fuck ey!"

"Please, take it easy, Mr Kruspe. You're still a little weak." The woman put the cup back on the small table beside the bed.

"But I want...want to see Paul! What about him?" He was still going crazy. Everyone fell silent and no one said anything.

"He'd passed out in the meantime from the kicks he'd been given." The nurse had now sat down at Richard's bedside and was stroking his forearm sympathetically.

"Those bastards, I'll get them all!" Richard was getting really angry now.

"Later, Mr Kruspe. Right now you need to get back on your feet. I've brought you some breakfast. Please try to eat at least a little of it so you can regain your strength," the nurse tried to encourage him.

Richard sank back into the pillows. "Okay, okay. But then I want to see Paul. Please, please!" he begged the woman and she nodded.

"All right, but first we'll eat. I'll come back later and we'll see." With that, she walked out of the room and Richard was alone again.

*

"Hey, kid, don't worry so much. Nothing happened to me! And I still don't know what's wrong with Richard." Paul was on the phone with Jenny, who was crying on the phone. "I'm going to see if Mr Kruspe is responsive yet. The nurse said he must have been looking for me."

He said goodbye to Jenny and promised to get back to her. He had to do that, after all, he still had something important to discuss with her. After this whole incident, he didn't want to put off the question of moving in together. Who knew how much time they had left together? Sometimes it happened very quickly, Paul ruminated and swallowed the tears that were coming.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and wanted to get up, but he immediately felt dizzy again and held on to the bed frame convulsively. "What the fuck!" he grumbled to himself.

But now the door opened and the attending physician came in for rounds. "Well, how are we doing today, Mr Landers?" he asked immediately, looking attentively at him. He had brought two colleagues with him, who were eagerly taking notes. Probably some medical students who regarded him as a guinea pig. Paul's mood sank immeasurably - and he didn't know himself that way. Actually, for him the glass was always half full rather than half empty, but what they had experienced in the last few hours could turn any sunshine, no matter how cheerful, into a sad dumpling very quickly.

"Well, that's the way it goes when you've got a headache," Paul replied resignedly, still trying to hold on to the bed frame.

"But you don't look good at all. You are very pale. Have you eaten anything today?" the man inquired further.

"No, I did not get that swallowed. I'm worried about my friend."

"I can understand that, Mr Landers. But he is well taken care of. You have to think about yourself now!"

"Yes, I know that, but I want to see him. Could you tell me where Richard is?" asked Paul.

"He's next door. You can visit him, but first you have to eat something. Otherwise you'll feel sick again, like you did just now. You feel sick, can't you tell?" The doctor saw very clearly that Paul's face was chalky white and his hands were shaking. And now cold drops of sweat had also formed on Paul's high forehead - so he could no longer ignore everything.

"Yes, it is. I'll eat something, I promise." Grumbling, he sat down on the bed, and as if on cue, the nurse now came back in and brought him a tray of breakfast. He had refused the first one this morning. Now he had to eat something, because the doctor would not give him any rest. He would stand here until he had had at least one bite.

"That's it! I took another look at your readings. You should really watch your blood pressure, Mr Landers. It's pretty high." He looked seriously at the chart and made notes.

"Really now? Well, no wonder with all the stress here. I actually thought that I was only here as an escort for Richard's rehab. But I didn't think we'd get kidnapped and knocked down here." Paul shook his head. "You've got securities here, haven't they noticed that there are crazy people running around?"

The doctor looked at him dumbfounded. "No, this businessman stayed here normally, not for rehab, but for a week of wellness and had booked two normal single rooms for himself and his partner. You wouldn't expect them to get physical and start waving weapons around."

Paul grabbed his chin thoughtfully. "No, not really. Tell me, what actually happened to these guys? Have they been arrested?"

The man shook his head. "No. The security was only able to arrest one. At the moment, the man is probably still being questioned by the police."

"What? They only arrested one? And what about the other one? That can't be true! What a load of shit." The doctor shrugged his shoulders. And Paul was really pissed off. "But it doesn't help at all." He looked at the food, which was at least bearable. Especially coffee, his elixir of life - nothing worked for Paul without it.

"Well, bon appétit then. And see you tomorrow. And please don't worry so much, we've got everything under control now!" With that, the doctor said goodbye to Paul and took his companions out of the room with him.

"Everything's under control, no, it's clear," Paul summed up indignantly and took an annoyed bite of a bread roll.

*

"Oh, my Pauli, it's so good to see you alive!" Richard had hugged Paul very tightly, nestled his head in the crook of Paul's neck, and was now crying. He didn't give a damn if anyone could see that either. He was so incredibly relieved that Paul was okay.

"Well, tell me, wat do you think? Seeing alive, you must be crazy." Paul had stretched him off and was looking at him seriously.

"Well, when I touched you there in the room, you were ice cold and I thought it was all over. I would never have forgiven myself if anything had happened to you." Richard stroked Paul's face and kept kissing along his neck.

"Oh Reesh, it doesn't die that fast. You can't get rid of me, you know that." With that he kissed him very tenderly and brushed the tears from his face. "Besides, I still want to experience so much with you, with my sweetie, with your sweetie. And above all, I want to meet the little worm." With that, he grinned his typical Paul grin and pulled Richard right back into a kiss, which this time was quite passionate.

"Hrm..." They hadn't even realized the door had opened. Startled and caught, they both turned around. And as they did so, Richard let out a hoarse cry.

Standing in front of them was - Sylvie!

"Sweetie! God, what are you doing here?" He tried to get up, but Paul pushed him back into the pillows.

"Hey, broken down!" He stood up and hugged Richard's girlfriend. She grinned through tears she couldn't stop.

"What am I doing here? Gee, honey, I found out what happened here. The whole online world is upside down right now. Do you really think you guys were able to keep all this a secret? I dashed over here as fast as I could."

Paul drew a startled breath through his teeth. "You drove here? Are you crazy to drive a car in this condition? Man, what else could have happened? And what do you mean by 'online world is upside down'?"

"Paul, stay relaxed. I'm not sick - I'm just pregnant." With that, she made those quotation marks in the air. "Well, this whole kidnapping thing and all. It was driving me crazy. I couldn't help it." She became unsteady and sat down next to Paul on Richard's hospital bed.

"Sylvie, you're just so sweet, you wouldn't believe it." Richard hugged her affectionately. "How's our little one doing?" He sheepishly stroked her belly, which wasn't really there yet.

He smirked as he did so, and Paul once again felt totally superfluous. "Um, I'm going to my room. I have to call Jenny." With that, he got up rather quickly, swayed a bit, and then hurriedly left the room.

"What's wrong with him?" Sylvie looked after him in amazement.

"I don't know either." Richard could guess what was wrong, but he said nothing about it. "I'm just glad nothing else happened to him. When he was so icy when they finally found us, I thought he was ..." He broke off, realizing now this whole scope of the story.

"Ssssh, don't, Richard. Try to forget it. It's no use." Sylvie stroked his cheek gently. "What exactly happened, anyway?" And Richard told her the whole story, including that the police had probably arrested one guy now. "And what about the other one?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. But I sure hope they finally get the other one, the more important one!"

Sylvie listened intently and quietly. "Do they know who these guys were yet?" She was totally horrified that something like this could happen in such a renowned clinic as the "St. Wolfgang Clinic" in Bad Griesbach.

"Yes, that guy who wanted to influence Arielle and later Ulrike with his weird elite club." Richard looked at the ceiling of the room, annoyed.

"Please what? Oh God, that guy can still act however he wants. This can't be happening at all. Have you heard anything from Arielle and Ulrike?" continued Sylvie.

"Nope, nothing. But that doesn't have to mean anything. I talked to Till on the phone yesterday, he's still in Italy, but he mobilized Mr Mueller again. I hope that they will then arrest him and this nightmare will come to an end." Richard was quite charged.

*

Paul sat smoking on the balcony. He was allowed back into their shared room. He was very happy about that, he wouldn't have been able to stay in the hospital room much longer. Only Richard had to undergo some more examinations, but he was also allowed to leave the infirmary.

They had had dinner with Sylvie the night before and Sylvie had left early this morning. Unfortunately, she still had to work for the lawyer in Hamburg. She had spontaneously taken unpaid leave to support Richard.

After a long discussion she had gone after all, Richard had explained to her that he would manage everything and that he would not be alone. And she had to take it easy, after all she was pregnant. But since Sylvie was a pretty cool pregnant woman, she had only waved off, got into the rental car with panache and left the clinic grounds with squealing tires.

"You know what, Reesh? Whenever your sweetie is around, I feel so redundant, you wouldn't believe." He took a drag on his cigarette and looked back into the room where Richard was lying on the couch.

Richard sighed, "Paul, we've been through this! You have to get this stupid thought out of your head. You know that we have a four-way relationship. It's not always easy, we never talked about that, but if we're all honest and open with each other, we'll manage. Besides, you like Sylvie too - and meanwhile she's even close friends with your Jenny. Nothing better can happen to us!" Wow, what a speech.

Paul put out his cigarette and came back into the room. He sat down next to his friend on the sofa, tenderly clasped his hands and kissed them. "I know all that. Sometimes I'm such a complete idiot, I'm jealous, even though I know that you love me. But there's also always this little twinge that you'll eventually say you don't want me anymore. I'm just scared to death of that!"

Paul looked at their hands knotted together. Richard sat up now and moved closer to Paul. "Oh Paulchen, I love you with all my heart. How could you think I could do such a thing to you?"

He withdrew his hands from Paul and put them to Paul's face. Then he bridged the small space between them and incredibly tenderly placed his lips on Paul's. The kiss was cautious at first, but then became more and more passionate. He realized that he wanted Paul, right now, right here. "I want you, Paulchen, now!" he voiced his desire too and Paul smiled into their kiss. Then he made a grab for Richard's T-shirt and pulled it over his head. Carelessly it flew into a corner....

Chapter Text

Paul stood exhausted in front of the bathroom mirror and shaved. He was so exhausted from their last night that he could barely stand. All the passion they hadn't really been able to live out in the last few days had literally been unloaded last night and he hadn't gotten his money's worth that often in a long time.

The bathroom door opened and Richard snuggled intimately against Paul from behind. "Good morning, handsome man. Hmm, you smell good." He gave him a little kiss on the neck and wanted to get in the shower, but Paul didn't see that happening at all. He turned around, shaving cream still on his face, and pulled Richard into a passionate smooch. Richard broke away from him, laughing. "Landers, you're impossible." With that, he wiped the foam from his face and took off his clothes to shower. Paul gave him a little slap on his shapely butt and finished shaving, which wasn't so easy with him grinning.

"Don't you have an appointment with Doc Schmidt today?" he asked, and Richard answered in the affirmative. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Richard turned off the shower and peered out the shower door. "Nah, you don't need to, I can handle it myself."

"Fine, I'll take care of the dilemma with the guy and the elite club." He was about to leave the bathroom, but Richard held onto his arm.

"Please Paul, be careful. I still need you!" With that, he pulled him close and kissed him tenderly.

"Don't worry about it, I'll manage. See you later." With that, Paul was gone from the bathroom as well.

*

Paul had inquired at the reception desk whether the businessman's room was still reserved. The lady at the front desk confirmed that it was. She, too, had heard from her colleagues what had happened. She warned Paul to be careful and not to experiment. Wordlessly, she gave him the spare key to the room. Paul didn't believe that the guy was so careless and still on the hospital premises, but you never know. He thanked the friendly woman and took the elevator to the 3rd floor.

He felt like he was in a bad detective story as he crept through the empty hotel hallway like this. When he arrived at the room, he noticed that the door was only ajar and voices were coming from the room. A strange smell was coming from the room and he looked through the crack of the door with the utmost caution.

There he saw the businessman sitting on the floor. Paul still couldn't believe that his Arielle had fallen for such a guy. He was not really uttering intelligible words. A spherical annoying music was playing in the background. Excitedly, he pushed the door open further and saw five more people sitting on the floor, all dressed in white robes. There were two women and three men of different ages. They had their eyes closed and were mumbling incoherent stuff to themselves. Great, this was even worse than he had thought. If this was that elite club, then it was nothing more than a cult, almost exactly like the Scientologists.

He remembered, a few years ago he had been approached by exactly these people... and had let himself be lulled...

*

"You become very calm, you don't think about anything, everything is fine. You feel a warm feeling and let go! Let go of the world, let go of your friends, let go of yourself..." spoke the woman who sat in front of them and looked at the ceiling with a fixed gaze.

Paul had been so caught up in all this doing then that he closed his eyes and drifted away more and more. He had always been afraid of being drawn into something like that, especially because of his job he got to know people who were not well-disposed towards them. But somehow they had gotten him. The whole thing had only turned out well because an attentive Till had grabbed a few of his buddies and they "smoked out" this store, so to speak. The woman and her accomplices had been caught, and since they had some criminal records to show, they had also been put in jail. That had been more than ten years ago. And Paul wasn't sure if they were still in prison or if they had already been released. Maybe some of them were even here today in this so-called elite club. You never knew.

He shook his head, but they wouldn't get him this time. He was mad as hell at such subjects, as he called them, but right now there was nothing he could do but wait and see what else was going on.

At that moment the businessman stood up, put on a black long robe and took out a bottle with a greenish liquid behind him. "So, my children, we should now join together in remembering our brothers and sisters who have passed away. Are you ready? Then raise your hands and cup with me!" With that, as if by magic, another middle-aged man dressed in white, with rather piercing eyes, appeared behind him. This one carried a tray of pewter cups, and the businessman poured each cup full of the greenish stuff.

Paul was frozen. What was this stuff? Hopefully not poison? He wouldn't put it past this greasy guy. One had often heard that such associations got together for mass suicide. He was sweating and didn't know what to do. Actually, he would have to call for help right now, if the stuff in the bottle was really poison...

*

Richard flattened himself in the armchair in front of his psychologist. Today he was somehow in a better mood and was able to answer her probing questions in a different way. I wonder if that was because of the previous night. He grinned to himself - it was so nice to sleep with Paul. For the life of him he couldn't imagine ever letting another man get close to him, with Paul he felt safe and he sincerely loved him with all his heart. He sighed.

"So, Mr Kruspe, it's good to have you here. How are you today?" Doc Schmidt also asked immediately. Richard nervously slid back and forth in his chair. Didn't the woman know about her kidnapping?

"Um, yes, it's all right now..." he began cautiously. At that, he looked at her scrutinizingly, but no trace of knowledge about her unplanned adventure.

She was looking up from her notepad again now - sincere and eager. Richard cleared his throat, brushed aside the lewd thoughts of a little guitarist, and told her about the businessman from Hamburg and how they had fallen into his clutches.

"Please what? That's unbelievable." She was honestly shocked and now stood up and went to the window. "Mr Kruspe, what happened to you and your partner there can't just be wiped out of your life again. I hope you realize that. It needs a good reappraisal. In other words, we have another point in your life that could be your undoing. Also, should Paul...? That's his name, right?" Richard nodded. "... So Paul should also seek psychological counseling. As I said, all this is no longer child's play and it puts an immense strain on the body, especially when the psyche suffers."

"You want to get Paul into therapy, too? But he has nothing to do with it. He's just my personal companion here at the clinic, where I'm actually only in rehab for my hip surgery. I still don't quite understand what this is all about. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately." Richard realized he was already getting highly annoyed with the woman again.

"It's exactly that behavior of yours, Mr Kruspe, that short fuse, that's what I'm trying to therapize with you here. That you just loosen up a bit and don't explode at the slightest thing." Doc Schmidt looked at him seriously. "And your friend should loosen up a bit, too."

"Haha, so if anyone is loose, it's Paul. Sometimes way too much. You can take my word for that!" replied Richard, upset. "You don't even know him. So, what kind of theses are you making here!" He could again... but she calmly sat back down in her chair, which made Richard even more upset. Not to be discouraged, she simply moved past Richard's little outburst to the next topic.

"You had a conversation with your attending physician, Doc Feldmann, last week. What does he have to say about your whole situation?" she tried to steer the session in another direction.

"He is, on the whole, very pleased with my recovery. I still have some pulling in my hip area from time to time, but other than that, I feel a little more satisfied every day. It's just that this whole kidnapping thing has set me back, of course," Richard answered truthfully, trying to cool himself down.

"You see, Mr Kruspe, that's what I mean. That's on top of your other psychological stuff."

Richard was now looking at her angrily again. "Other psychic stuff? What do you mean?" This woman was driving him crazy, he had the feeling that she was deliberately trying to talk him into something that was so not true. "You don't mean all that drug shit a few years ago? That's been dealt with, like I said last time. I've had therapy twice, but I think that's enough now." He was beastly charged that she was still harping on it, but she wasn't budging.

"Mr Kruspe, you should let me worry about that." She got back up and walked over to him, squatting down next to the chair and looking him up from underneath. "I mean you no harm, you know that. But this is my job, after all. The sooner you realize that, the better." She got up again and went to the window. "Look, you don't want to be stuck here in this clinic forever either. The sooner you cooperate with me, the sooner you'll be out of here. And so will your partner!"

To Richard's ears, that sounded like a threat. He just couldn't bring himself to trust this woman in any way. He felt he had already said far too much. Therefore, he stood up with a jerk. "I think we should end this conversation right here and now!" But he had made the calculation without her. She also turned around jerkily and simply blocked his way to the door.

"And I think you should sit back down now. This is not a request! You're here to get better - physically AND mentally. And I'm just doing my job, so please, let's deal with each other like two reasonable adult human beings. And above all else, trust me already!" She sat back down. And looked pretty exhausted.

Richard didn't know what to do now. Resigning wasn't really his thing. But if he stayed bitchy now, this was only going to get worse. Not to mention that at some point they would go on tour again and then he wouldn't have time for any spirits. "Can I at least bring my friend here with me?" he then asked meekly.

"Of course! I suggested that earlier, didn't I? Call him!" She jotted down something on her notepad again. Richard pulled out his cell phone and was about to call Paul when he saw that he had received a WhatsApp from him that just said, in big letters, "Get help!" and the number "325..."

*

The two of them had been running like two maniacs on their way to room 325. Richard suspected something bad, after all he knew that Paul wanted to take care of the businessman and probably he had been too careless again. Sweat and tears were running down his face and he was panting as if he were running a 1000 m race, which was no wonder with his nicotine consumption.

When they arrived at the room, it was a mess. Paul was sitting exhausted in a corner, next to him a policewoman and an employee of the clinic's security service. Richard ran over to him excitedly and slowly squatted down. He still felt his hip a bit, but that didn't matter for now. Nothing had happened to his Paul. He took his hands and was just relieved. The tears were running down his face unhindered, which he didn't care about at all.

Doc Schmidt stood indecisive and somehow lost in the midst of the chaos. Some hotel employee offered her a chair, and she slowly sat down. She looked pretty beat - Richard now had an incredibly guilty conscience, maybe he had gone a little too far with his bitching after all.

"Are you Mr Kruspe?" he was suddenly addressed by a tall man in a police uniform. Richard stood up again and turned to the policeman.

"Yes, I am. What can I do for you?" he asked the man.

"Please come with us, we have some questions for you!" With that he turned, Richard looked startled at Paul, who just nodded at him, then shrugged and followed the policeman into the next room.

*

"... And your friend's ex-wife got involved too?" Richard was just asked.

The latter nodded. "Yes, and Schneider's Uli too," Richard answered truthfully. The policeman looked at him uncomprehendingly. "Schneider's Uli?"

Richard tried a smile. "Okay, you wouldn't know that. Our drummer's name is Schneider, that is Christoph Schneider and his wife's name is Ulrike. She got involved in this elite club, too. Through Paul's ex-wife." The man nodded, took notes and asked Richard more things, which he answered in detail.

After what felt like an eternity, Richard had answered the last question. He was quite tired and worn out. And actually he only wanted to snuggle up to his Paulchen and sleep.

*

... said Paul was already in bed, after he had to answer some questions, too. Doc Schmidt had also approached him again and suggested that he should also get therapy. Paul didn't care about anything at the moment, he just wanted to snuggle up to Richard and sleep... by the way, where was his friend still? Paul sat up annoyed when the door opened quietly and a rather groggy Richard scurried into the room. He carefully pulled the door closed and peeked into the bedroom.

"Hey, you're here already!" With that, he bridged the few feet to the bed, stripped off his clothes except for his shorts, and slipped under the warm covers. He pressed himself close to Paul and pulled him back into the comfortable supine position with him. "The shit we're going through again, you really can't tell anyone. I'm so glad nothing happened to you, my Paul." He kissed him. "Having to be so scared for you within two days is really too much for me. I'm really not always so snivelling, but this..." He didn't get any further, because Paul closed his mouth with a rather intense kiss.

Breathless, Richard stroked Paul's bare chest and, as Paul's lips released him, kissed his way down Paul's neck. He covered Paul's entire face with small tender kisses and again gently placed his lips on Paul's. As he did so, he growled and Paul put his hands on Richard's chest to push him away a little so he could speak.

"You say something. I don't know what to make of all this. I only know one thing right now, I'm so tired, I just want to crash." With that, he approached Richard again, opening his lips to receive Richard's tongue. Lovingly they kissed and caressed each other until they both fell asleep exhausted....

Chapter Text

"Were you both able to sleep to some extent?" Doc Schmidt just turned to Paul and Richard. Both nodded, but looked rather unrested - no wonder after that night.

Richard tried to stifle a dirty grin, and Paul unobtrusively nudged him to please stop grinning. He himself had put on his poker face with some effort and was listening to the good woman. "Okay, let's get started then."

Richard was looking at Paul seriously now. Paul didn't believe him, but the doctor couldn't know that. He sighed and they both surrendered to their fate.

*

After what felt like hours, the two came out of the practice exhausted. "Man, she's got a lot going for her, doesn't she?" Paul had hooked up with Richard and they were on their way to Richard's last therapy session regarding his hip.

"Yeah, but I think that's finally it. That woman really nearly took the last of my nerve." Richard pulled his eyes upward. "The way she poked around inside me, unbelievable. I mean, I've been to therapy twice, and I actually thought that was it. Nope, still going for it. I'm so glad we're finally leaving. She had told me to trust her, but I just couldn't stand them, and you know how it is with me, once screwed up, always screwed up!"

Paul nodded in affirmation. "Yup, well, now we've done it. Today we'll do one more thing, because we'll be here for a while and then we'll go home tomorrow. To the capital. I'm glad, you wouldn't believe it." He almost sang. Finally, the ordeal was over. What they had experienced in the last, almost six weeks here, one could write novels about it again.

"Yes, but I still have to go to the final interview with Doc Feldmann. I'm curious to hear what he says." Richard wasn't sure if there wasn't still a trap lurking somewhere, especially as far as this psychologist was concerned.

"Hm yes, that’s true. It's a shame we didn't really get to practice. But this whole thing with the crazy guy and the elite club, that was really enough."

Richard looked at him sadly. "You're telling me. I haven't touched my RZK in almost six weeks, my baby... that really sucks." Richard looked like a little kid who had his favorite toy taken away. He looked thoughtfully out the hallway window as they headed toward the chief's office. "Are you actually coming to the exit interview?"

Paul shook his head. "No, Reesh, I think I'll have to do it alone. I'll get our stuff together for that."

"Well, do that then. It's also too bad we didn't really do anything here. The area is really beautiful."

"Yes, that's true, too. But this healthy is more important than anything else. Don't worry about it." He gave him a little kiss.

"All right. Then I'll be on my way to see Doc Feldmann. Wish me luck!" Paul squeezed him affectionately.

"Will do!" With that, Paul hugged Richard and he slowly booted away.

*

"Got it all, Reesh? Not that you have forgotten something with all your clutter?" Paul stood by the car and waited for Richard.

"Yes, yes, everything with it. I'm not such a chick as you always make me out to be. Besides, you're packed, dear!" Annoyed, Richard threw his last two bags into the trunk and slammed the trunk door a little too hard. Paul just shook his head, his little diva once again. He grinned and sat down in the driver's seat.

"Of course, I also packed everything from you. So please no accusation. Come on now... let's go home!" With that, he started the engine and drove off the grounds of the clinic rather rapidly.

"What did this doctor actually say? Everything reasonably okay?", Paul asked Richard as they drove toward the highway.

Richard nodded. "Yes, so far everything is in the green area. But I'm still supposed to make a few appointments with my orthopedist, as a follow-up."

"That was clear, but it's also normal. And what about the psychiatrist?"

Richard made a snide noise. "Pffff. Of course, this doctor thinks it's necessary to have further talks with our psychologists. However, we should both go there."

"What? She's really out of her mind. I'm telling you, she's such a hottie, she thinks she can save the world." Paul rolled his eyes, but said nothing more. By now he could understand Richard.

The rest of the trip was more or less uneventful, except that they were recognized at one or two rest stops, of course. But they weren't annoying fans, just a few photos and autographs. That was part of their everyday life, they could live with that well.

Richard, however, had relaxed a bit during the last kilometers before Berlin and put his head on the headrest and dozed off. Paul was now singing along to the songs on the radio, but so softly that Richard didn't wake up. He was looking forward to Berlin. He desperately needed to talk to his children and, of course, to his Jenny. This whole moving thing wasn't off the table yet.

And he also had to deal with the whole kerfuffle with the clinic and the guy and the kidnapping. But that he went to psychological treatment for it? Never ever. He could handle that on his own. With Richard, however, he wasn't quite so sure. But he would do everything to make his friend feel better. He looked next to him for a moment and his heart opened with love. He smiled inside himself and looked back at the road.

As they drove off the highway at the Pankow interchange in the direction of Prenzlauer Berg, Paul's stomach tingled because he now had to face all his problems, which weren't really problems, but he was still kind of excited.

Suddenly his cell phone rang, which he had connected to the car via Bluetooth. He looked at the big display - Arielle was calling. His heart did a little leap and he answered the call.

"Ari, what can I do for you?" he answered cheerfully. His ex-wife was pretty quiet on the phone and asked him approximately when he would be back. He told her and they made an appointment for the next day to talk about everything that had gone wrong recently.

Richard woke up from the ringing and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "What's up?" he asked, looking rather sleepy, with tousled hair and small eyes. Paul looked briefly to his right again and started laughing. How he loved this man, he still couldn't believe. Everything about him, even the not-so-nice parts like the diva posturing or his - how did that woman Doc Schmidt say it? - short fuse, which he would probably never quite get rid of.

"Nothing. It was just Arielle. I'll meet her tomorrow. It's time for a talk, we both think." He looked strained at the afternoon Berlin traffic, and at the first red light Richard impulsively pressed a big smack on his right cheek.

"Do that, it's quite good. You had a long time to gnaw on it when she ran away." He stroked Paul's forearm lightly. "I have to get in touch with Sylvie too, haven't talked in a while."

"Did she get back to Hamburg all right?" asked Paul.

"Yes, no problem, but this latest thing she had not noticed. I'm already dreading telling her about it. I'm sure it won't be easy." Richard pulled his lower lip between his teeth, but Paul reassured him.

"I'll have to call my sweetheart and explain it to her, too. Hopefully, the two women won't worry so much." He put on his blinker to change to the left. He had to cross the streetcar tracks here to stop in front of Richard's house.

"Oh, why don't you pull into the underground garage, I don't feel like carrying all those clothes up from the street!" With that, Paul turned into the little side street and Richard pressed the remote.

Paul gave him a big look. "You think of everything, don't you?" He laughed and Richard gave him a nudge.

"Sure, if I didn't think of everything, nothing would happen here!" Paul pulled up next to Richard's parked car and turned off the engine.

"Are you still there? If I wasn't here, you wouldn't have started this strange rehab in the first place! So!" He was about to unbuckle his seat belt, but Richard reached next to him in a flash and pulled Paul into a rather hungry kiss. Paul still tried to free himself from Richard, but had no chance.

"You naughty little runt!" scolded Richard good-naturedly as he briefly broke away from Paul's lips and gripped the back of his neck authoritatively. He released the kiss briefly again and Paul took a yelping breath.

"Midget? Hey, you're about to catch one... I'm not small, get it now! I'm reduced to the essentials... you should know that." He punched him on the chest, but Richard pulled him closer again and now kissed him extensively. As he did so, he stroked Paul's short hair with one hand and then played with the silver earring on Paul's left ear. As they breathlessly broke away from each other, they both laughed from the bottom of their hearts. "You may be one to me!" Paul had recovered his words first. He could never stay angry with Richard for long.

"Yes, but you love me for that! I know it, I know it!" With that, Richard flicked back his seat belt and opened the passenger door. "Cut to the chase, will you?" With that, he grabbed Paul's crisp backside. "Hmm, yeah, definitely your butt is worth every sin." With that, he playfully brought himself to safety, as Paul was about to punch him in the arm.

"Dude, do you have rocks in your luggage? There's no such thing." Paul was now standing in front of the elevator, panting.

"Everything the modern gentleman needs," Richard murmured into Paul's ear from behind, grinning. Together they drove to Richard's penthouse. But it took Richard even longer to find his apartment key.

„Reesh, hurry up, I'm about to pee my pants!" Paul fidgeted impatiently and Richard looked strained.

"Yesss... Man, where the fuck is that thing..." he muttered annoyed and rummaged through his pockets until the apartment door opened from the inside and a beaming Khira greeted them warmly.

"Well, finally. I thought you weren't coming back at all." With that, she gave her father a stormy hug, and Paul right along with her. She took one of Richard's bags and was probably thinking the same thing as Paul, because the expression on her face spoke volumes.

"My little girl, it's good to see you," Richard began, hugging his daughter affectionately. "How are you, are you okay?" With that, he walked past Paul and Khira, carrying two of what felt like twenty bags into the spacious living area. He turned to Paul. "Any of my stuff still in the car with you?"

Paul shook his head, dropped the two heavy bags ... and dashed into Richard's guest bathroom. Khira and Richard snorted with laughter like teenagers.

When Paul returned, he addressed the two again. "That was a close one. Okay, you two, I've got to get back to my place, unload my stuff." With that, he was about to turn around. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He had enjoyed enough good childhood and had a well-developed sense of tact to know when he was interrupting. That was why he had decided to leave them alone. After all, they hadn't seen each other in a long time, but Richard had quite different plans.

He grabbed Paul's arm in a flash. "Stay here!" With that, he pulled him into a light kiss and Khira looked away, ashamed. Even though she didn't have a problem with it, but it was still kind of weird that her father was now kissing his best friend and colleague, who she had known for what felt like her whole life, in this way.

Richard pressed himself against Paul. "I actually thought you were sleeping at my place tonight..." And softly he whispered in Paul's ear "... or with me?" He grinned wickedly and Paul buckled. He couldn't remember ever having had such a flutter of the heart, no matter who he had been in love with in the past, with Richard it was always all incredibly exciting. The whole man was exciting - and he belonged, at least in part, to him... and if he came with an offer like that, then of course Paul couldn't and wouldn't say no. Who knows how long they would have time just for themselves, once Sylvie was living in Berlin and the little worm would be there, too.

*

"Hmmmmm, I could get used to this!" purred Richard as he snuggled up close to Paul. They both lay in Richard's bed enjoying each other.

Paul had then quickly gone to his place after their arrival to put the car in the garage and pack his things into his apartment. Richard had made him a less than youthful offer and of course he had not refused.

Paul was as excited as the first time and had hopped in the shower at his place for a bit. That would take care of itself eventually when he was staying at Richard's house, he thought to himself, and his heart thumped excitedly at the thought. No travel, but apparently no real privacy either?

He still wasn't quite convinced, although he had already agreed to it. First he had to talk to Ari and of course to Jenny. He had sent a short message to his girlfriend that they had arrived safely back in Berlin and that he would be in touch the next day. She had replied to him with a little red heart emoji and sent a short voice message because she was at work.

"Me too.", Paul whispered in love and kissed his way along Richard's neck. Actually, he wanted to be alone today and not disturb the quality time Richard was spending with his daughter, but as I said, that had been taken care of with Richard's offer.

He moved even closer now and put his right leg over Richard's hip. He could tell he wanted him. And he wanted to determine this time. Richard had no problem with that and let himself be pampered a little. Sighing, he laid his head back and enjoyed Paul's stroking - to the point where Paul had reached the waistband of his underpants.

"Don't..." whispered Richard. Paul looked at him in amazement. "...Or it'll be over in a minute," he continued to murmur, turning them both around.

"Hey, I thought today I could..." Paul didn't get any further, because Richard had laid himself down between Paul's legs, which he had spread, and was just about to kiss his way down Paul's chest. As he did so, he took off his boxers as a matter of course and freed his best piece, which was already jutting joyfully towards him.

"You're already hard!" he remarked redundantly, licking once over Paul's length and kissing Paul's hardness tenderly. Paul gasped in surrender.

"Well, what do you think it's going to do to me when you're so tender...oh yesss." He stretched his head over and clawed Richard's mop of hair with both hands. "Mmmmh, go ahead!" He rolled his pelvis toward Richard's mouth and Richard took him in as deep as he could.

Paul sucked in a sharp breath and Richard ran his hands over his flat stomach. He never thought he would enjoy oral sex so much. Richard now grabbed Paul by the narrow hips and released him from his mouth again. He kissed his way back up and gently bit Paul's left nipple. Then he licked over it and grinned diabolically.

"I love you, Paul. You can't imagine how much." As he did so, he continued to distribute caresses until he arrived at Paul's beautiful face. He stroked his cheek lightly. "...I love everything about you, hmmmmm." He took a deep breath of Paul's scent. Paul's eyes grew wide as Richard in turn now rolled his pelvis against Paul's and their two arousals touched.

"Reesh, I'm going to cum... I'm going to cum..."

Richard placed a finger on Paul's lips. "Shhh, don't speak, enjoy!" He kissed him again and Paul wrapped his legs around Richard's body. They moved rhythmically against each other until Paul came...hard and hot...spreading his seed between them.

They grinned breathlessly at each other and Richard slumped a little on top of Paul. Paul had never come so fast, how he had missed being spoiled like this by his friend. They had had sex in the clinic too, but in their own four walls it was something else again.

"Maybe we should clean up the mess first...", Richard started, but Paul pulled him close again. He buried his face in the crook of his neck until he realized Richard was crying. He lifted his head with both hands.

"What‘s up?" Paul was visibly startled.

"Nothing, my Paul, I'm just so incredibly happy to have you." With that, he stroked his short hair and pressed a little kiss on it.

"Me too. But you haven't gotten your money's worth yet..." With that, he wanted to spin them both around again so he could finally "play" the top this time, but Richard wouldn't let him this time either.

"That's right - striking!" He smiled slightly and his beautiful gray eyes flashed cheekily. "However, I think we should try something new..."

Paul looked at him intently, and when he saw Richard's face, he felt a little queasy. "And what?" he now inquired cautiously.

"Well, I've got something I think you'll like, too." With that, Richard reached into the top drawer of his nightstand and pulled out handcuffs from it. Paul knew it, Richard was always good for a surprise. But whether this surprise was so good for him, he wasn't so sure.

"You are not serious. Really now? Don't you think it's so out?" Paul furrowed his brow and furrowed his eyebrows. "This is so seventies."

"Aha, the seventies then... and out, yes? No, my Pauli, I don't think so at all." With that, he lay down on Paul again and pulled his arms up. Like a pro, he clicked the handcuffs around Paul's hands. "Have you ever done this before?" he asked.

Paul shook his head. "No, I've never done it like that with shackles and all. Well, if you don't believe it. It's probably more Till's thing."

Richard continued to hold Paul's hands at the head of the bed. He grinned with amusement. Yes yes, their singer sometimes had quite strange preferences. "Probably!" He looked at his "work" and looked pleased. "There, Paulchen! Nothing out! I've got something else for you too..." With that, he whipped out a cloth and gently bandaged Paul's eyes.

"But, I… I..." Paul began to stutter. Suddenly he felt uneasy about all this, even though he trusted Richard one hundred percent.

"Why don't you relax, Paul?"

"Reesh, I don't know if i should like this...," Paul started again, but Richard closed his mouth with a breathy kiss.

"Let yourself go, my little Paul. You know very well that I would never hurt you. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Okay?" He continued to kiss him.

"Okay, okay. What's left? I have to trust you." With that, he dropped back into the pillows.

"That's good! Then be quiet now finally and enjoy it!". Then he stroked with a feather very lightly over Paul's upper body, on which goose bumps had formed....