Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Biology wasn’t my favorite subject - but it was within the junior curriculum. I didn’t go for any advanced placements like at my old school. Charlie thought it was best for me to enroll in standard classes so I could focus on adjusting to Forks. Adjusting academically shouldn’t be too hard. Socially, however, I was pretty hopeless. 

When I entered the classroom, I saw the familiar black topped lab tables lined in three rows, plus the assorted beakers, goggles, and microscopes. I approached the teacher, Mr. Banner, to sign my slip. After handing me the slip along with textbook, he sent me to the one open seat in the middle of the room. 

I kept my eyes down on the textbook as to not make accidental eye contact with anybody, to stay as mundane as possible. The book was titled Balancing Act: Environmental Issues in Forestry, Second Edition. Its cover displayed an image of a gathering of pine trees. Not too far off from of the view outside the classroom window, save for the constant cover of clouds and rain. I suddenly became wistful for the cacti of Phoenix.

When I looked up at who I was sitting with, my breath caught in my throat. 

She smiled, revealing her perfect white teeth. "Looks like we're lab partners.”

Completely and utterly flummoxed, I sank down into the chair. Then I began to feel the eyes on me, but now even more with a Cullen as my lab partner.

"I'm Alice,” she continued. Her voice reminded me of silver bells at Christmastime, light and melodic. “You must be Bella Swan."

Finally, I turned around, bewildered. "H-how did you know that?" 

Alice blinked back innocently. "Know what?" 

"That I prefer to be called Bella?"

She laughed a soft, enchanting laugh. "Oh - just a premonition, I guess."

While searching my backpack for a pen, I let out a dry chuckle. "I figured everyone knew me here as Isabella from Char - from my dad."

Alice chuckled. "Well of course he would be excited about his daughter coming to town."

When I looked back, Alice was holding out a sparkly purple gel pen. I closed my mouth, not even realizing it had opened, and took the pen. “Thanks,” I murmured.

“Alright everyone, let’s get started,” Mr. Banner announced, cutting through the buzz of conversations. “Your assignment is to examine the slides of onion root cells and identify the stage of cell division.” 

I tried to concentrate on Mr. Banner’s explanation, but he sounded miles away. I couldn’t help overanalyzing my brief exchange with beautiful girl next to me. I remembered her entering the cafeteria earlier along with her equally dazzling siblings…

“Who are they?” 

“Those are the Cullens,” Jessica whispered. “The blonde is Rosalie, and the big burly guy is Emmett. The one who looks like he’s in pain is Jasper, and the one who looks like he’s sulking is Edward. And the little dark haired girl is Alice - she’s really weird.”

Strange, unpopular names -  like the kinds grandparents had. None of them suited their youthful appearances. The one exception was Alice - that name matched her perfectly. Delightful and adorable, with an air of sophistication. 

The small, Asian girl twirled towards the back table, causing a her long knit cardigan to flutter and chandelier earrings to sway. Her hair was cropped short, spikes pointing in every direction. Her eyes were also dark, almost matching the inky black of her hair. And for a brief moment, she met my gaze. 

Shit - she caught me staring. In that moment, I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. 

Fortunately, I hid behind my curtain of brunette tresses - hopefully enough to obscure my reddened cheeks. But then, the corner of her lip twitched slightly upwards - and I couldn’t place it. Was she smiling at me? No, maybe she’d been holding back a laugh at my pathetic gawking. Though whether mocking or sincere, I could sense that she knew something that I didn’t. I couldn’t decide whether that idea terrified or excited me. 

I muttered something about them all being very nice-looking. 

Jessica opened her bag of garden veggie straws. “Rosalie and Emmett will probably enter the competiton for prom king and queen.” Then she rolled her eyes. “Again.”

“Are all of them together?” I inquired further. 

“Only Rosalie and Emmett,” Angela explained. “We thought Jasper and Alice were together at one point, but Alice is um - not into guys. She’s openly lesbian.”

At first, I was a sort of stunned - hearing the “L” word spoken aloud - but I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I could see Jessica shift in her seat, but she didn’t make a snide comment. And Angela seemed okay with it. I wouldn’t be coming out to them any time soon - hell, trying to explain to Charlie proved enough of a headache. He chalked it up to me swinging both ways. But it was nice to know it wasn’t a big deal. Even though I overthink every situation regardless. 

“And Edward isn’t interested in anyone,” Jessica whispered. “All he does is mope. Still, he’s super hot.”

Her voice held the shock and condemnation of living in a small town. Throughout the conversation - which shifted to the possibility of Edward Cullen being metrosexual - my eyes kept flickering to the back table.

I noticed they weren’t eating anything. The food on their trays went untouched. I wondered if they lived in Forks for long - if so, I hadn’t seen them around. 

Alice looked up and met my gaze again, this time with evident certainty in her expression. Like she had seen everything all planned out  - and also, like I was the only one in the room. 

Mr. Banner’s enthusiasm jolted me back to the present. “Whoever identifies all the slides correctly first will win - the golden onion!” He waved the so-called trophy, which was just an onion spray painted gold, in the air. The class groaned and opened their textbooks.

"Would you like me to start, Bella?"

Even for most simple question, her voice sounded ethereal. "No," I answered. "I'll go ahead.”

I snapped the first slide into place under the microscope. It only took a brief glance to know the stage of cell division. Admittedly, I was showing off a little. I'd already done this lab, and I knew what I was looking for. I should take solace in an easy break, but it did nothing to soothe my nerves around Alice.

“It’s prophase.”

"Do you mind if I check?" she asked. 

As she adjusted the objective, I glanced at her. She was even prettier up close. Her features were delicate, yet defined. Her side profile revealed high cheekbones and an upturned nose. I could tell she was wearing makeup - but it still looked so natural. Maybe she was just that beautiful. 

When she peered into the microscope, she nodded and wrote it down. Her handwriting was in cursive - which I vaguely remembered from elementary school. Letters flourished elegantly across the page, as if she was writing calligraphy, not biology notes. I noticed when she wrote her name at the top, she dotted the “i” with a small heart.

“My turn,” she sang. "Looks like anaphase.”

"Mind if I check?" I asked. I took a glance and nodded. "Yep, anaphase."

Alice smirked in a telling way. "I have a feeling you've already completed this lab before."

"Yeah, um," I said. "Back in Phoenix - just with whitefish blastula instead of onion root."

"Phoenix?" Alice repeated, quirking a brow. “What a difference in weather."

I swallowed down hard. "I miss the heat," I could gush about everything I missed back home.

"You don't like the cold?"

"Or the wet."

"Forks must be giving you whiplash,” she giggled, yet her humor quickly faded. "Oh - I didn't mean for that to come out harsh."

“It's not my first time in Forks," I blurted out. "I mean - I've visited my dad before. But this time I'm staying permanently."

Alice tilted her head. "What makes your stay permanent this time?"

Everyone I met so far asked about trivial matters, such as if I needed directions to the library or my dress for the prom. Hell, I hadn’t even thought about prom. I just wanted to survive my first week in Forks. But I was the shiny new object, in Jessica’s words. I realized no one asked me anything about myself, about my life. 

For a split second, I thought she might be flirting with me, but my awful self-esteem lessened my sureness. I shook my head. "It's complicated."

"It's okay - you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

That was different too. Everyone wanted to nudge and prod - no one displayed any regards for my boundaries. No one understood that I preferred to suffer in silence. 

"Want me to walk you to your next class?” Alice offered. “We can talk more then.”

I preferred walking alone, taking in the sights and sounds of the new school without external intervention. If it had been anyone else, I would’ve politely declined. But the Cullens intrigued me - namely Alice - so I nodded and said sure. As nonchalant as I tried to sound, my heart was pounding in my chest.

My conscious screamed at me to not mess this up. 

Chapter Text

"So why did you move back to Forks?" Alice asked as she opened her locker.

Its interior was astoundingly neat - each folder, notebook, all lined in a row, not a single scrap or crumb in sight. Pictures of Vogue models and fashion sketches were taped on the inside, along with a jewelry rack, featuring few necklaces and charms clinking. 

I clutched the golden onion close to my chest. "My mom - she got remarried, and she wanted to travel with her new husband. He plays minor league baseball, so he travels a lot. Since they wanted to go on the road - I moved back to Forks.”

“Why aren’t you traveling with them?”

“It’s just easier this way, I guess - coming back here. Plus I get to spend time with Charlie. I haven’t seen him in years.” 

"Well that doesn’t sound so complicated, does it?” Alice paused, maybe thinking I would laugh, but my silence must have concerned her. “I’m kidding, of course. That’s a lot for you to handle so young. Making that decision must’ve been really difficult.”

So young - as if she wasn’t my age too. 

“You know, I play a bit of baseball myself,” she continued. “Our family likes to make it a group activity. I usually play pitcher.”

“I’d probably only be able to play as umpire with how uncoordinated I am,” I joked. 

“You’re funny, Bella,” she nearly gushed. “I look forward to your sense of humor. And we could use an umpire at our games.”

When I looked closer, really focused on the flawless details of her face, I caught it. In the cafeteria, I noticed her eyes had gone black. Today her eyes were pools of dark butterscotch. 

Was it a trick of the light? Or was my gay panic making me go crazy?

"Did you get contacts?" I interrupted without thinking twice.

Alice had been busy retrieving the books for her next class - a purple notebook covered in silver stars, and a textbook with a French title. When she closed the door of her locker, she blinked back at me innocently, lips pressed in a thin line. "Hm?"

Yeah, definitely the gay panic. "Sorry - I thought there was something different about your eyes."

"Well, I am wearing a new shade of eyeshadow - from the new Urban Decay collection, of course." 

I just scoffed under my breath, now walking alongside her as we left the locker. “Oh - right," I said. "It looks pretty."

That caused Alice to giggle. For some reason, in spite of her giddiness, she never seemed to blush. "Thank you much!"

"I don’t really wear makeup - so,” I trailed off, unable to complete the thought. I hadn't worn makeup since ballet classes as a kid. My mom loved makeup. She nearly begged me to go to the mall counters and let the ladies apply rouge to my sallow cheeks. 

My mom liked accessories and baubles. A key reason for wanting to travel the country with Phil - to collect tiny knicknacks, from jewelry to fridge magnets. I briefly recalled the fridge at Charlie's house. Unlike my mom's fridge, which was covered with photos and magazine cutouts, his was sparse. When I opened the fridge this morning for breakfast, I noticed he affixed a coupon for the Carver Cafe along the scrawled list of important phone numbers, such as Dr. Cullen and Forks city officials. 

There was one last item on Charlie's fridge - one of those photo strips that you get at a tacky standalone photo booth. The photos were of me and Jacob, back when we were little. Charlie had taken us bowling, and he must've given me the two dollars. Jacob was prying his mouth apart with his fingers, sticking his tongue out, while the camera caught me mid-laugh. I looked practically the same - bare-faced, save for freckles from the Arizona heat, with long brown hair past my shoulders. Jacob had his hair long then too, worn in a braid down his back.

I missed those days, as a kid in Forks. I didn't have to worry about keeping track of Renee, making sure the bills were paid and the carpet was clean. I could embrace the carefree youth that most children possessed, even if it was transient. 

It seems that was the right answer, as a mischievous glint reflected in Alice's amber eyes. “Well, we can definitely change that."

Then the bell rang. "Oh - well that'll do it," the pixie-cut girl chirped. Suddenly her expression fell, crestfallen in witnessing an unexpected sight behind me. 

I looked over my shoulder and swallowed the lump in my throat. Standing about ten feet across the hall was the tall blonde, Rosalie, with her arms folded and heart shaped jaw clenched. She paid no mind to the students bustling past. She was, without a doubt, laser focused on Alice and myself. I never understood the expression if looks could kill so clearly in my life. Inwardly I winced - wondering what I'd done to anger her - aside from speak to Alice. It wasn't like - 

Then the second bell rang, which I knew meant to really get a move on. I secretly hoped that my status as a new student would negate any chastisement for tardiness. I could just make something up, say that I'd gotten lost rather. It was better than telling my next teacher I'd been too busy low-key flirting with a girl. Maybe I could ask Alice for directions - 

Yet when I turned back around, she was gone. 

Chapter Text

Knowing the future as I do, I often forget the scenery of the present. But there’s no denying the discomfort in the room now, among all of them.

Rosalie sat on the couch, arms folded, heart shaped jaw clenched. Emmett sat next to her as usual, rubbing soothing circles on her leg. I could tell from how Edward winced that she’d been screaming from the top of her mental lungs for an hour. 

“Seems your clairvoyance doesn’t prevent you from being a selfish, irresponsible fool!”

Emmett placed a large hand on her thigh. “Relax, Rose.” 

“Thank you, Emmett,” I said, nodding towards him. “And I’m not being irresponsible. I’ll happily explain everything.”

I noticed Edward glaring daggers at our newest family member.

A small growl formed at the back of my throat. “Don’t you dare even think about it, Jasper.”

Shadowy images flashed through the future. No matter which direction Jasper lunged from, I saw myself there, blocking Bella from harm’s way. It was strange how none of my other siblings appeared. So despite Rosalie’s insults and Edward’s judgement, neither would conspire with him. That offered some relief.

While Jasper was the most experienced fighter among the Cullens, I could see his approach, and Edward could predict his moves before he made them. If Edward wanted to cooperate. Since he usually opposed whatever Rosalie thought best, it was almost a guarantee. 

I knocked in a two-four pattern on the door of his study, signaling my specific presence. I heard him put down his book and get up to answer the door. He opened the door with a pleasant smile, which quickly disappeared upon seeing everyone else’s concerned frowns. I broke through the tension with a glittering smile. 

“Hi Carlisle. First, I need to give you this for later,” I handed him a folded up piece of paper, which he promptly placed in his jacket pocket. “Second, I have something to announce, so I’d like to request a little family meeting.”

“Alright,” he said, giving a tight lipped smile. “Why don’t we take this to the dining room?”

One might call our dining room an oxymoron. It was furnished like any other house, a way to keep up appearances - or play pretend as a nuclear family. A long oval mahogany table surrounded by black chairs with leather backs. Italian paintings, courtesy of the Volturi, adorned its walls. Caravaggio had always been too violent for our gentle father - he preferred Tiepolo from the 18th century, depicting a divine salvation. Plus black and white pictures of historical landmarks, such as the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore and the Roman Forum. 

Carlisle sat in his usual spot at the eastern head of the room. Esme sat beside him, holding his hand atop the table. Esme looked at me with a hint of curiosity in her gaze. But I could pull off a pretty good poker face. She had no clue of what was about to occur. Maybe she was worried, like any mother would be. I could scarcely remember my real mother, so it was a small comfort. 

I confidently sat down next to Carlisle, determined to lead the conversation. Despite the small crease in his forehead, his expression remained neutral.

I cleared my throat. “I have excellent news, loved ones,” I declared. “My visions have finally led me to my soulmate.”

“That’s wonderful, Alice,” Esme smiled. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Her name is Isabella Swan. She prefers to be called Bella, so when I bring her over, please call her that.” 

It was Carlisle’s turn to speak. “What coven does she belong to?”

“She doesn’t belong to a coven,” Rosalie sneered. “She’s human.”

“Bella will be safe. I’ve seen it.” I amended the situation out loud. “And when the time comes, I’ll change her myself.”

A hiss came from behind me. Then Edward spoke up, shaking his head. “Your visions aren’t always accurate. Maybe you need to think this over. Go run somewhere far away and clear your head.” He shrugged. “The Denali coven might appreciate your company in Alaska.”

There goes banking on him to help me out. Thanks a lot, big brother.

“Absolutely not!” I interjected. “I’m not just going to abandon Bella!”

“She shouldn’t go anywhere,” Emmett added. “That would be the opposite of helpful.”

Carlisle let out a sigh. “I think Emmett is right. The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It’s all of us leave, or none of us.”

“It’s Jasper that Edward worries about. But I know that I’ll protect her. I’ve seen it.”

“And if you don’t?” Rosalie snapped. “You’ve already piqued her curiosity. What will happen when Jasper tries to rip out her throat, hm?”

Chuckling under his breath, Edward leaned over to Emmett. “Always with the dramatics.”

“Edward, please,” Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. “Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is entirely innocent.”

“I’m not trying to take it personally. I’m just trying to protect us all - as a coven and as a family.”

I cleared my throat. “Bella will find out, but she isn’t going to tell anyone.”

“Have you actually seen that, Alice?” Emmett asked. I knew he wasn’t really questioning the validity of my visions. He was just trying to support his wife. 

Esme pursed her lips. “How can we help?” she prompted. 

“I just need you all to trust me, okay?” I looked at Carlisle pleadingly. “Have my visions ever failed us?”

Carlisle met my gaze and let out a deep sigh. “Look. I say we take a vote.” 

Rosalie snorted and folded her arms across her chest. “Well you know my answer,” she huffed. “I’m all for disposing of the Swan girl and sweeping it under the rug. Sometimes humans go to sleep and don’t wake up.”

When my attention shifted, my gaze was no longer kind. “I’m not going to let you hurt her.”

Emmett let out a snort that he seemed to have been hiding. “C’mon, Rose, are you really so petty? She’s only one human. What’s the worst she can do?”

“As much as I hate agreeing with Rosalie, she makes a good point.” Edward chimed in. “But that being said, I think we need to plan to relocate. Just in case.”

I frowned at him, though I looked over to Jasper, the most dangerous of our family. He was still adjusting to our vegetarian lifestyle, and he posed the largest threat in my visions. Jasper stood stoic in the corner, yet finally, his eyebrow twitched. 

“If she’s going to join our family - then I guess I can restrain myself until then. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

Rosalie let out an incredulous gasp. “Jasper!”

Esme blushed. “If Bella is going to make Alice happy, then I vote that we don’t intervene.”

“Carlisle?” Edward asked, as my eyes flickered over to our father figure.

“Every life is precious,” Carlisle stated. “You know that’s one of my core principles. While I understand your perspective, I don’t think I can allow you to bring harm to Bella, especially if it puts you at odds with Alice.” 

Rosalie sighed heavily and jutted out her lower lip. Emmett patted her shoulder. 

“It’ll be alright,” Carlisle reassured. “We need to protect each other. The occasional…accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are. To murder a blameles child in cold blood is another thing entirely. She has no reason to suspect anything, and Alice believes she will keep our secret. The vote settles that we do not harm her - and we entrust Alice with this situation.”

A ghost of a smirk floated across my lips. I wouldn’t grin or cheer - just a small bout of satisfaction settled the score. Rosalie scowled and stormed off, but I was no longer worried about her. I could see that she would go along with Carlisle’s decision, no matter her wrath. 

Everyone would come to love and accept Bella as a part of the family, myself most of all.

Chapter Text

The next day, my thoughts were consumed by Alice Cullen.

I contemplated our brief interactions but I couldn’t make heads or tails of them. Obviously I knew my feelings, but if I learned anything from Jane Austen, it was to not consider judgements as fact. Just because Alice was a lesbian didn’t mean she was flirting with me. Right? It wasn’t like I had any idea how to flirt back. Knowing me, I would've flubbed my words or fallen flat on my face.

But what if she had been? A part of me wanted to take our time, and another part of me wanted her to just kiss me hard. Either way, I couldn’t stop daydreaming about those twinkling honeyed eyes.

“Hey Bells,” Charlie called from downstairs. “Have you seen the remote?”

Right. All Charlie could think about was Sunday football.

I hadn't realized I'd been chewing the glitter gel pen from Alice the whole time - which I then promptly removed from my mouth. A blank sheet of notebook paper stared back at me, with only my name and title of the history assignment written down. 

"Um - no dad, I haven't!" I called back.

The members of the Forks police department gathered to watch a game every month. The closest team was the Seattle Seahawks. Some outlets in town carried their jerseys. I remember Charlie asked if I wanted one for Christmas, but my mom insisted on a gift better suited for girls. Besides, I was too uncoordinated to play sports, let alone try to be a fan. I kind of felt bad about the reluctance. My mom always spoke about Charlie with chagrin and disdain. In hindsight, I might’ve liked going to a game - it would’ve been fun as a kid, eating popcorn while decked out in the team colors. Sounded better than fishing, honestly.

Now I was so caught up in everything - still unpacking from Phoenix, already getting assigned homework at school - I just didn’t have the time to hang with Charlie. Every time he popped a frozen lasagna in the microwave, I felt a pang of guilt.

It was his turn to host the view party, and I could tell he wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. When I came downstairs, I saw him searching for the remote in between the couch cushions, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve of his shirt. I agreed to drive him to the store to pick up a few things for the party - a vegetable platter, napkins, a pack of Rainer’s beer. I jotted each item down on the notepad as he spoke. I insisted on taking my pickup truck. Drawing attention with the police car would be mortifying.

Fortunately, Charlie relented, though not without playing cop. Occasionally he’d glance my direction or grip the side of the passenger’s seat. He tried not to make it obvious, but I noticed.

“Did you take that list with you?” he asked. 

I patted the side of my leg on the pocket. Charlie nodded and breathed out. I’d never seen him so wound up. But then again, my aversion to social settings came from him. 

___

I pulled into the small supermarket and we exited the car in silence. Looking up at the overcast sky, I frowned. Forks remained under a near constant cover of clouds and rain. While Charlie retrieved a shopping basket, I pulled the shopping list from my pocket. The place wasn’t too crowded, thankfully.

Charlie cleared his throat. “I’ll look for the beer, since you’re too young for that section. Can you go find the vegetable platter? The one with the ranch dip?”

I nodded and began walking towards the produce. I surveyed the display of stone fruit, picking up a deep red apple and turning it in my hands. Then I looked to my right, and my mouth nearly fell open. This young, blond man observing the pears was handsomer than any movie star I’d ever seen. He was even dressed handsomely, wearing a black peacoat with a knit navy blue scarf wrapped around his neck. 

Before I knew it, Charlie was back at my side holding the beer, addressing the stranger as one would a friendly acquaintance. “Dr. Cullen - fancy seeing you here.”

Cullen? Alice’s dad - right, he was the head doctor at Forks Hospital. He was even more beautiful up close. Paler too. I noticed the tired circles under his eyes, although it didn’t subtract his male model look.

“Chief Swan,” he said, turning towards us. His voice sounded gentler than anticipated. “Good to see you as well.”

Charlie patted my shoulder, albeit awkwardly. “Uh - this is my daughter, Bella.”

Shamefully, I cleared my throat. “Hi - Dr. Cullen.”

“Please, I insist you call me Carlisle,” he smiled, showing off his perfect teeth. “The formality isn’t necessary outside the hospital.”

Charlie quickly changed topics. “Oh, reminds me - I left you a voicemail yesterday. Our forensics team collected more DNA samples from the guard in Mason.”

The charming smile faded, almost remorseful. “Right - I’d been meaning to get back to you, yet I was away with my family. We’ll definitely talk more tomorrow.”

I didn’t know much about the happenings in town, but sometimes I glanced at the newspaper headlines or heard the news broadcast while getting ready for school. The breaking news involved an animal attack, supposedly the third one this month. Charlie had been getting home late, clearly distressed about everything.  

As they talked, I noticed Carlisle’s basket was practically empty, only containing adhesive gauze. He hadn’t even picked up a pear to feel for its ripeness. 

Somehow, in the midst of my quiet observations, the conversation pivoted. “Your kids are in high school too right?”

“Yes, all five of them,” Carlisle answered politely. 

“Dad -” I cringed, knowing what he was trying to do. 

I couldn’t fully blame him - despite our casual relationship, he was my dad, and he wanted to make sure his daughter was adjusting well. Although I wish he’d remember that I wasn’t his little girl anymore, and that I could hold my own just fine. I’d been capable down in Phoenix, before moving to this cold, wet wasteland.

If only he knew the one thing on my mind…

“It’s quite alright,” Carlisle reassured me in the same gentle voice. “I know you’re familiar with my daughter, Alice. It is nice to meet you in person.”

I looked up at the mention of Alice’s name, though only Carlisle seemed to notice. Wait - he knew that I knew Alice? Did that mean she told her parents about me?! 

“Oh - um -" I stammered, still reeling."Okay."

"Shoot, I don't see where the cutlery is-" Charlie muttered, more to himself as he scanned the aisles. "I'm gonna go ask a worker here. Talk soon, Carlisle." After the two men exchanged nods, Charlie wandered off with the list in hand.

As I began to turn around, Carlisle spoke up. "Oh, one more thing, Bella -” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket. “Alice told me to give you her number,” he spoke in a low tone, handing me a piece of paper. “For your biology class, of course.”

__

I couldn't help but grumble on my way towards the truck, hauling two paper bags. Of course we got more than we came here for, as Charlie kept thinking of things for the party, and I knew what we'd been running low on in the cabinets. He was carrying four bags in his arms.

Still, I clutched the piece of paper Carlisle gave me like my life depended on it, before slipping it into my vacant pocket.

“I already know the Cullens, Dad,” I spoke through gritted teeth. “You didn’t have to ask.”

“C’mon, Bells - I wasn’t trying to embarrass you,” he said, fastening his seatbelt. “I know they’re kind of weird, but maybe they can show you around. It’ll do you good to try and make some friends around here.”

“I have friends -” I placed the bags in the back of the truck and walked around to the driver's side. “I eat lunch with them - plus I have Jacob."

“Doesn’t Dr. Cullen have two daughters? Maybe they can sit with Jessie and Amber.”

“Their names are Jessica and Angela.”

“Didn’t he mention an Alice?” 

A huff left my lips. "Yes - he did," I turned the keys to the ignition and smoothed my palms over my legs. "We're partners in biology class."

"That's good, sweetheart," he responded, offering a lopsided grin. "That's a great way to make a new friend. Soon enough the two of you will uh - have sleepovers or something."

Typical Charlie, envisioning me as a child again. Though it took all of my willpower not to laugh, as his version of a sleepover with Alice would be incredibly different from mine. 

__

When we arrived back at the house, two familiar silhouettes were on our doorstep. One a young man, and the other an older man in a wheelchair. I parked the truck in the driveway and hopped out of the driver's seat.

"Hello, anybody home?" the older man joked. A tray of cookies sat in his lap. He wasn't a part of the police force, but he was always down for some football.

This was Billy Black. He's Charlie's best friend in town, even though they couldn't be more opposite. Billy loved to laugh and be social. Maybe they could connect with a similar grief of losing their wives - albeit in a different way. And they both also loved fishing. 

"Hold your horses, Billy, we're coming," Charlie muttered, scooping the bags out from the back. "If you're gonna be early, then you're helping me out. How about you get your son to help us with the groceries?"

Standing next to him was the person in question - Jacob. He smiled playfully as he walked towards the truck, yet his eyes remained locked on mine. 

Chapter Text

As promised, Jacob helped carry in the groceries, and I returned the smile sheepishly. Charlie held the door open for Billy while he used the ramp on the side of the house.

“It’s good to finally see you again, Bella,” he remarked.

Suddenly it dawned on me that it had been years since I’d been to Forks. I thought the rest of my life would be under the Arizona sun. And then when I would die, I’d be buried in the arid deserts, and someone could plant white waxy blossoms at my side. Yet here I was, in the rainy town of Forks, amongst family friends who now almost felt like strangers.

I noticed his crow’s feet as he smiled, the streaks of gray in the curtains of his black, shoulder-length hair. I stupidly realized my unnatural pause - so I just repeated the words back to him. “It’s good to see you too.” 

We made some light conversation, mostly about school and the truck. Billy gifted me the truck when I first got here - as much as I worried about its condition and costly repairs, I knew it was perfect for me. Part of me wanted to ask a dozen questions about the Cullens. I still knew so little about them. 

Fast forward thirty minutes later, and the party began. A dozen officers, some donning their uniforms, and others in full Seahawks attire, crowded around the television set. Conversations about sports betting and gas prices filled the living room. Of course I refrained from making conversation with anyone, more apt to play the part of a server. I noticed the diminishing stack of napkins and paper plates, so I ducked my head and walked towards the kitchen. As I tore into the plastic packaging, I heard footsteps from behind me.

“Hey,” Jacob said.

“Hey,” I greeted with a half smile. “You’ve gotten taller.”

His eyebrows shot upwards. “You’ve gotten paler,” he teased back. “Phoenix heat didn’t do much, huh?”

“Ouch, Jake,” I stifled a laugh. “Maybe that’s why they kicked me out.”

Grinning, Jacob walked over to the counter. His hair swayed with the movement, long and silky enough to be in an advertisement for shampoo. His deep brown eyes were warm. 

“How have your sisters been?” I continued, recalling Rachel and Rebecca to try and make conversation. Might as well try and strengthen our friendship, especially as we were the only two people under thirty in the house right now. Maybe I could somehow steer the conversation toward the Cullens.

“They’re good, thanks,” he responded. “Rachel got a scholarship to Washington State and Rebecca lives in Hawaii now with her husband.”

Shit, I had no idea Rachel even got married - again I was reminded of how long it had been. But rather than comment, I simply nodded back. “Nice.”

Billy and Charlie cheered from the living room, which elicited an almost embarrassed expression from Jacob.

“The geezers already have had a few beers, so things are getting kind of rowdy,” he said.

I laughed and shook my head. “I know nothing about football.”

“Me neither. I prefer surfing.”

Right, Jacob lived near La Push, a village on the west coast of the Olympic Peninsula at the mouth of the Quillayute River. It was only fifteen miles from Forks, surrounded by the dense green forests of the national park. I’d visited the beaches many times with Charlie in my past visits, namely First Beach. Jacob joked about teaching me how to surf, and I replied how I'd fall off the surfboard within the first minute of trying. 

“Actually, a few friends of mine are going to First Beach next week,” he continued. “Not to surf, but we’re having a bonfire. You should come. I mean, if you want to.”

“Sure,” I answered. 

Perhaps -  I could bring Alice. We could hold hands as we walked along the sandy shore, and later wrap the same blanket over our shoulders by the bonfire. Plus I could introduce her to Jacob, and her sunny disposition would charm him too. Once Jacob approved, then Charlie would too. He trusted his judgement; he always called him a good kid. In a way, Jacob resembled the the son he never had.

I had to take advantage of the lull in the conversation. Everyone had an opinion on the Cullens thus far. Jessica thought they were weird, but she expressed jealousy, which tainted her view. Angela didn't think badly of them, but she never thought badly of anyone. Charlie acknowledged their strangeness, but he found their quiet presence pleasant. By that logic, Jacob must have his own perception, one that I could better rely on. I could sneak a moment before La Push to pull him aside and ask, not directly but through allusions. Yet in that moment, my brain disconnected, and I blurted out unprompted - 

"Do you know anything about the Cullens?"

The boy looked taken aback, certainly not expecting my question. "Um - I know they moved here a few months ago, but other than that, they mostly keep to themselves." There was a twinge of disdain in his voice. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued: "I've never seen them on the beach, if that's what you're asking?" 

A pang of guilt resonated in my chest. I shouldn't be using Jacob to investigate the Cullens or flatter Alice. “No, I -" I stammered until I could exhale, gathering the napkins and plates under my arms. “Never mind.”

Immediately after, I tripped and dropped everything, fortunately able to stable myself on the kitchen counter in the nick of time. Still, Jacob put a strong hand on my shoulder. "Woah - you okay?" he asked, concerned gaze searching mine. I nodded, and he let go. 

Reaching down to pick up a stray napkin, I offered a shy smile. "Good thing it wasn't the beers, right?"

With a hearty laugh, Jacob knelt down to help me clean up my mess. 

 __

The clock read 11 PM. Everyone was leaving, continuing their conversations outside my window, some smoking cigarettes. Charlie and Billy were among them, finishing one last beer together and waving goodbye as cars pulled out of the driveway. I had already changed into my pajamas - a burgundy tank top with gray sweatpants - and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Stepping away from the window, I moved to my bed, and stared at my phone resting on my pillow. The paper Carlisle gave me sat atop my nightstand, illuminated underneath my lamp.

Teeth tugged at my lower lip. I spent nearly all day thinking about Alice and her family. Even talking with Jacob, I caught myself thinking too far into the future, already letting my romantic feelings steal me away. I needed to act on it. I needed to know that we felt the same way about each other, once and for all. If only I didn't suck so much at flirting...

With a newfound resolve, I plopped down and reclined back on my bed. Pulling the purple blanket to my chest, I typed in the number on the paper, then sent my first message. 

Bella: Hey - is this Alice? It’s Bella Swan.

I cringed inwardly. Why did I say my full name like that? Still, I waited with bated breath. What if she didn't respond back? What if I had the wrong number? Had I been gullible, perhaps fallen for a prank orchestrated by the guys at school? Great, now my crush was making me paranoid. 

Alice: You caught me ;) I take it you’ve met Carlisle.

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth. With a hand pressed to my forehead, I sat up on the bed and typed back:

Bella: Yeah - I ran into him at the store.

A linger in the conversation, until a response pinged back. 

Alice: Funny how that works. 

I laughed to myself, but paused, thinking about how to veer into flirting without being awkward.

Bella: LOL. I'm excited for biology class - we can compare notes about the new chapter together. 

Alice: We don’t have to just talk about biology you know.

My eyes widened. What was I supposed to say to that? Holy crow, Alice Cullen was really flirting back with me - well, in comparison to my sorry excuse for flirting - and over text! I mean, at least she couldn’t see the blood creeping onto my cheeks. 

Bella: What did you want to talk about?

Alice: I want to get to know you, Bella.

My teeth sank down into my lower lip. No more prose - I needed to be honest. I backspaced a few letters before finally deciding to reply:

Bella: I’d like that.

Alice: Good. So would I :) How about I pick you up tomorrow morning and drive you to school?

I sucked one last breath in. 

Bella: Yeah, absolutely.

Alice: Perfect. See you tomorrow! Sweet dreams XO

After setting my phone on the nightstand, I turned the lamp off. And indeed, when I closed my eyes to slumber, my dreams were sweet, because they were full of Alice.

Chapter Text

I took joy in how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her. No more waiting or watching in bated breath at what my visions foretold. Centuries of the same old day in and day out had come to an end. I could move into a new chapter of my life - and we could start creating our lives together. Who would've thought that I'd meet my soulmate in 2005, paired with the human girl in biology class?

The chugging of her truck's engine signaled her arrival, and I whirled around to see her reflection in the windshield. Today, the road was slick with ice, so she gripped the wheel tight, driving with caution. I added this to my growing list of knowledge: she was a serious person, a responsible person. The girl got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it.

Teeth nipped at my lip, curious if I should go talk to her. No, that wouldn't be right for this moment. Not like I cared, but Rosalie's disapproving stare inspired little confidence. 

Bella leaned against her truck, wearing a slouchy corduroy jacket and a pair of gray mittens. The melting ice on the concrete dampened the cuffs of her bootcut jeans. Her Converse were caked in dirt - seriously, I had half a mind to tell her to tie her shoe. But she was still so lovely - especially with how her headband pushed her brunette waves from her face, complimenting its heart shape.  I could freely stare, following along with those wide brown eyes as they scanned the pages of her book . And even then, all her little quirks excited me - how her brows tightened together, how she chewed on her lower lip. Oh, how I adored everything about her!

“Gay,” Emmett jeered under his breath. 

And then I noticed how all my siblings were staring at me instead . Emmett looked on in amusement, whereas Rosalie watched in rapt horror. As usual, Jasper appeared pained - probably more focused on restraint. Edward weirdly almost seemed pensive, head tilted and lips pursed.

Just then, another student entered the vicinity. His name was Tyler Crowley, one of Bella’s human friends. A sharp cut of the wheel sent him swerving into the parking lot, now skidding across a patch of ice. A high pitched screech terrorized my eardrums, growing painfully loud by the second. 

Because it was getting nearer. 

His car began to careen across the lot and crush the girl who made my heart beat again. My vision happened just half a second before reality. 

The necklaces I'd been holding slipped through my fingers, sending beads and pearls scattering across the tile. My entire body trembled. All I felt was desperate despair.

“No!” I cried out in a horrified gasp. 

Several things came into view all at once. Everything moved so fast. Nothing about the impending doom would be slow. Yet I would absorb every detail, commit the tragic fate of my Bella to memory.

I looked to my right, where Edward stood in the doorway. I couldn't tell whether we were in the lot or in my bedroom. His eyes were blown wide, analyzing my vision with similar dread. It didn’t take a mind-reader to understand where the car was headed. Even without my foresight, it would’ve been simple enough to predict.

Bella looked up from her book, quickly becoming frozen with fear. She looked straight into my frightened eyes. 

Everything became a streaky blur. Tyler wrestled with the wheel to gain control. Faces of onlookers - students, staff, anyone who had been unfortunate enough to witness it - twisted in anguish. And me - staring back in horror, until the vision ceased to exist.

I burst into a sob as the present resumed. “That c-can’t happen!” I exclaimed. “I won’t let it!” 

I rushed over to my brother, and my trembling hands squeezed his own tightly. “You have to help me." I swallowed hard, and my voice became small. “ Please .”

It took a moment for him to respond, but eventually he let out a low sigh. “Isn’t it better this way?” Edward murmured. “That she goes out in an accident completely unassociated with us?” 

Suddenly I jerked my hand back in a heated moment of betrayal. If I could cry - tears would be streaming down my face. I almost wanted them there, dripping like diamonds down my cheeks, to remind me how strongly I felt. “Edward, I can no longer keep my thoughts to myself," I confessed. "She means everything to me!” 

Another long pause - always so melodramatic. But my outburst must've finally flipped a switch - he realized how much losing her would shatter my world. Edward and I had always been close in our own way, most resembling a typical sibling relationship. Now he would decide to - oh please, hopefully - help his sister. Because you know I'd do the same for you, no questions asked. 

“Okay,” he relented. “I’ll help you.” His eyes closed in a moment of frustration, probably disappointed with himself. I couldn't care less.

“I can get to school early and tell administration to block off the ice," he continued. "You need to make sure Bella doesn’t drive herself to school tomorrow.”

I nodded. Part of me began to wish for Jasper’s calming presence, someone who could tame my whirlwind of emotions.

“He's in the foyer. Go to him,” Edward said, reading my thought in an instant. "Get your mind off it. I'll tell Emmett that we'll be hunting earlier than usual. Or I can tell him I won't be seen with him wearing basketball shorts in the cold weather."

Somehow, I found it in me to manage a small chuckle. Like with any member of my family, I fully trusted Edward. And he must know too, like I began to process now - the vision hadn't finished, and that meant there was still time to change the course of events. Bella was going to be okay. 

As I began to exit the room to find Jasper, a voice caused me to pause halfway down the hall.

"Alice?" 

I turned on my high heel to look back at Edward. He refused to meet my eyes, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, feet shuffling awkwardly beneath him. "When can we meet her?" he inquired in a puzzled way, as if the words were tumbling strangely off his tongue. Thick brows furrowed as his lips pressed into a thin line. "Bella, I mean."

"Soon, I promise," I answered. "I've seen it."

Chapter Text

Usually I hit the snooze button at least twice before dragging myself out of bed. Today, I awoke bright and early, anticipating Alice’s arrival.

I skimmed my closet, more conscientious of my fashion sense. I selected cream colored top embroidered with pink roses - most likely a birthday gift from my mother, and too girlish for my tastes at the time - and a semi-cropped fuzzy green cardigan. Pairing them with my trusty bootcut jeans, I deemed myself decent. 

I stared into the mirror as I brushed my hair. It was almost strange to regard myself out of my typical flannels and hoodies. I almost felt pretty. 

Looking at the clock, I realized I had enough time to make a breakfast that wasn't a bowl of cereal. I opened the pantry and winced at the unopened box of Bisquick pancake mix. Better than nothing, I supposed. I checked the expiration date and sighed in relief. I found a container of blueberries in the fridge from our recent grocery trip and began cooking. This would make more than enough for Charlie and me.

“Something smells good,” he remarked, putting the newspaper on the counter. His brow furrowed as he looked toward me. “You’re up early. Do I need to take you to Dr. Cullen?”

My cheeks burned at the irony of it all. “Actually, um. His daughter Alice is giving me a ride to school today.”

His bushy brows raised. “Well -” he exhaled. “That answers that.” That was my cue to his sneaking suspicion. Given the hare-brained, erratic nature of my mother, I know who I got my insight from. 

The doorbell rang, and I nearly dropped the mixing spoon. Quickly moving to tuck my hair behind my ear, I heard the door swing open, letting in the chill of the wintry air. 

“Hi, Chief Swan!” I heard her greet brightly. She leaned in for a hug, which Charlie reciprocated off-balance with one hand awkwardly on her back. “I’m Alice. I’ll be taking Bella to school today.”

“Yes, erm -  you’re Dr. Cullen’s kid, right?” I heard him answer. “Well, it’s sure a pleasure to meet you, Alice. Please, come in.”

I turned around, resting my elbows on the countertop behind me. It was hard not to be captivated by her. Even with the windows letting in the gloom of the overcast morning, her presence was always airy and bright. She wore a mauve, lace trimmed camisole under a sensible gray blazer, paired with a dark plaid skirt. Her hair was still in perfectly wispy spikes, with a barette of a ceramic daisy.

“Hey,” I said. I pointed at the frying pan. “You want pancakes?”

“No thanks, I already ate,” she answered, nearly smirking. “Don’t let me spoil your breakfast though.”

After plating the pancakes - two for me, double for Charlie - on the kitchen table, I put out the rest of breakfast. A half-empty bottle of maple syrup, a pair of forks and knives. Charlie grabbed some orange juice from the fridge and two glasses. At least he was trying to help. 

“Usually I go down to The Lodge for these,” Charlie commented. “Great job on the pancakes, Bells.”

I mumbled a thank you and pushed around the pancakes with my fork, keeping my eyes trained on the dated dinnerware. Even though Alice declined eating breakfast with us, she sat in between Charlie and me. 

“So Alice,” Charlie began, stabbing his fork into the stack of pancakes. “How good of a driver are you?”

“Well, not to brag, but - I’m the best driver in my family,” she quipped.

“We gifted the truck to Bella when she got here two weeks ago,” he continued. “Bought it off my best friend Billy, and his son Jacob fixed it up. Surely you know the Black family? They've been living in La Push for ages - well, since Billy was a kid anyway."

There was a distant look in her eyes, almost glassy - an expression I hadn’t seen until this very moment. Quickly though, she perked back up and replied - “I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of meeting them.”

“Yeah, um,” I piped up, forcing down a bite of pancakes to avoid talking with my mouth full. Looking like a fool in front of my dad and Alice was the last thing I needed. 

“Jacob actually invited me to First Beach next week,” I continued. “He’s having a bonfire with some friends. You should come, Alice. It’ll be fun.” My gaze flickered over to Alice, who looked bashful all of a sudden. 

“Hm,” she hummed. “I suppose I can check my calendar.” She glanced at her silver heart shaped watch. “I think it’s time we head off to school.” 

Then she turned to Charlie, who was currently polishing off the pancakes. “It was wonderful to meet you, Chief Swan,” Alice smiled. “I’ll make sure Bella gets to school safe and sound.” 

Slinging my backpack over one shoulder, I opened the door and began walking down the front steps. I looked over my shoulder to see that Alice hung back with Charlie. His voice was low as he half-whispered, but I acquired the gist of conversation.

“....your dad…the station…might have a lead…more blood samples to compare.” 

Not looking in front of me, my feet started to slip on a patch of ice. My eyes widened in anticipation of falling on my face - a familiar feeling. Yet ever so quick behind me, Alice placed her soft hands on my hips, steadying my slender frame. My entire body body tingled with goosebumps. She spoke softly, mere inches from my ear, with an almost teasing seduction. 

“Careful of the ice, darling.”

Cheeks burning, I leaned over and whispered. “You didn’t have to come in and introduce yourself.”

“Of course I did, Bella! I’m almost insulted that you wouldn’t want me to. Besides, it’s only a matter of time before you come over and meet my family formally.”

Had I actually been listening, I would’ve protested, but I was rendered speechless. Parked in our driveway was a state-of-the-art, bright yellow Porche, freshly washed and polished. It looked like a car from a magazine cover. The more I stood in shock, the more I became confused. I knew Carlisle was the town doctor, but this kind of purchase warranted a millionaire’s salary.

“I figured you wouldn’t be opposed to grand theft auto,” Alice smirked. “I’m kidding. It was a gift from my brother.”

I must’ve been standing with agape too long, since she had been looking at me expectantly with the passenger door open. “Well are you just going stand there or get inside?” she giggled.

“Right,” I mumbled, stepping into the passenger’s seat. I caught a glimpse of Charlie at the window, still sipping from his coffee mug. He raised his free arm, palm open. Ugh . I brought my hand up over my forehead in a lame attempt to duck. Meanwhile, Alice cheerfully waved back.

“Holy crow,” Charlie muttered, taking another sip of coffee. “How much money does that Cullen family make?”

___

During the car ride, Alice put on a CD. It was the album So Jealous, by a duo called Tegan and Sarah. I really liked their song “Walking With A Ghost.”

However, the music became background noise to my scattered thoughts. I hadn't yet come to terms with getting a ride to school in a Porsche. This is a car that would be better suited riding around Hamptons, Beverly Hills - or even Venice, Italy. Anywhere but the miserable, rainy town of Forks. Things just kept making less and less sense about Alice and her family. The Cullens were beautiful, wealthy, and distinguished - yet shrouded in enigma.

The only word that came to mind was anomaly. 

__

Forks High School usually remained uneventful. The only features in the school newspaper consisted of the swim team padding their Speedos. But as we pulled into the lot, a crowd of students and faculty came into view.

No ambulance, no cop car. That was a relief, especially given the whisperings and news about strange disappearances around town.

We had parked, but in an instant, I unlocked the door and burst past, now jogging towards the commotion.

"Bella, be careful!" I heard the bell-like voice call from behind me. 

I craned my neck, finally able to take in the scene. A section of the parking lot had been blocked off with bright orange cones. A white van with “MEYER’S SNOW AND ICE REMOVAL” in black lettering, was situated haphazardly nearby. A group of men hopped out of the back wearing highlighter colored jackets, carrying large bags of rock salt and ice picks over their shoulder. I traced the path of cones with my eyes. It ended right where I parked the truck each morning. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

I noticed the faculty ushering students around the sectioned off area, causing somewhat of a bottleneck towards the entrance. The school administrative assistant, who gave me my schedule on the first day of school, stood in the center of the action. A boy wearing a gray peacoat was speaking with her in hushed tones. 

When he turned around, I immediately recognized him as Edward Cullen, Alice’s brother. His golden gaze locked onto mine, jaw clenched. The bell rang. The school administrator blew the whistle around her neck, calling for everyone to head to class. The men in jackets continued entering and exiting my line of sight, emptying the bags onto the asphalt. 

What the hell was going on?

A cold touch nearly caused me to jump out of my skin. I closed my eyes and breathed out. It was just Alice. I exhaled again and looked at her, but my vision was hazy. 

"Time for class, Bella," she said, though her voice sounded miles away. "Let's walk to our lockers together."

When I turned back around, Edward had vanished into the crowd of students, a little too phantasmal for my liking.

Chapter Text

All the conversation around me dissolved into nothingness. I stared at the grooves in the wall, etchings from past students and marks from thumbtack. My eyes blinked in slow motion as my mind rewound the last ten minutes again. 

Things weren’t adding up. 

“Are you okay, Bella?”

I came to, finally meeting Alice’s golden eyes, which grew wide with concern.

Tucking a strand of stringy brown hair behind my ear, I nodded. “Yeah, I guess I’m just a little shaken.”

“It’s okay, Bella. Fortunately no one was hurt.”

I should’ve found solace in her reassurance, yet for some reason, I couldn’t let go of this. Had I been standing there, like usual in the morning, if an oncoming car hit the back corner of my truck - I would've been toast. I wouldn't have even had time to close my eyes. The shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, my head cracking on the icy blacktop. I'd still be lying on the pavement. I could've been dead in the parking lot of Forks High School. And yet somehow, in what seemed to be a miracle - I successfully circumvented my demise.

“But - that was right near where I usually park,” I insisted. 

“Well then, it’s a good thing I drove you today,” she answered. “I was hoping it wouldn’t be a one time thing either. No offense, but my ride is much more chic. Well, compared to your hunk of junk.”

“Hey, don’t hate on the truck.”

With a giggle, Alice opened her locker. She turned to view her side profile in the mirror, primping her hair with her fingers. 

“Would you believe me if I told you that I know everything is going to be alright?” she continued, smiling. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you - nor am I going to let you go anywhere. I’m pretty set on that.”

Intrigued, I leaned against the adjacent locker. I somewhat hoped my relaxed posture would help cover my racing thoughts - but anyway. I couldn't tell if this was Alice being flippant. After she had gathered her books, Alice closed the locker and clutched them to her chest. She mirrored my posture, yet ever so subtly, had inched closer to me. The fluorescence danced in the reflection of her honeyed eyes, giving it a mischievous twinkle. 

Come on, she's making it clear as crystal. Stop doubting things. Just go for it, would you?

My next words came out all in one breath. “Is this you saying you want me around more often?”

“Bella - have I not been forthright?” she replied, a faint smirk lifting the corner of her small mouth. “Because I very much do.”

Tongue between my teeth, I canted my head down bashfully. Well, there was my answer. At least one of my suspicions were confirmed.

“Hey um - did you - want to eat lunch together later?” I blurted out. Any ounce of my fleeting charm sprouted wings and flew out the door. “Or something?” 

Alice swallowed thickly, yet she did an excellent job at keeping her composure. Had I said something amiss?

“I would love to - really I would, but it's just not possible yet," she said. "You see, we're strict vegetarians."

Images of meager lunch trays at their table resurfaced in my memory. The Cullens murmuring among themselves. The bronze haired boy picking his bagel to pieces with his long, pale fingers. Alice rising with her tray — unopened soda, unbitten apple — and walked away with a quick, graceful lope that belonged on a runway. I remember being amazed at her lithe dancer's step, till she dumped her tray and glided through the back door, faster than I would have thought possible.

And then I recalled Dr. Cullen's shopping basket at the supermarket - nearly empty of any edible items.

Was the cause some strict, Olympic diet? Or worse - was it because of her family? Did her siblings really loathe me so much? The stark contrast of Alice's soft gaze, whereas her siblings always glared daggers at me, especially the statuesque blonde. I'd done nothing to cause them any strife, except arrive as a new student. Even Edward had looked at me strange - forlorn, but unmistakably cold. 

"Why don’t I sit with your friends?” she suggested brightly. "They seem nice."

I nodded hastily, trying to ignore sting of rejection. "Sure."

Alice smiled and started chattering about the latest Dior winter collection, whereas my mind continued racing.

___

During class, my eyes kept wandering to the clock, counting down the minutes until lunch. A part of me fretted over how the new addition to the table would go. Angela was considerate and polite, but Jessica harbored a bitter side. No doubt both of them thought the Cullens were strange, and as much as I yearned for Alice, I would still be inclined to agree.

Again, things weren't adding up.

While my English teacher, Ms. Braeburn, lectured about the poetry of Emily Dickinson, I began scrawling on the empty page of my notebook with my purple pen. 

Pale skin 

Insanely attractive 

Golden eyes

Strict vegetarians

"Miss Swan, would you care to share your analysis on the themes this poem?"

Shit. The sudden question caused my wrist to spasm, so the "ns" in "vegetarians" scribbled off the page, and my pen to clatter on the table.

I glanced at the open anthology on my desk, noting the title, Because I could not stop for Death - 479. I knew this one. It was probably Dickinson's most well-known work. While my admiration of classic literature would save me here, I detested the feeling of all eyes on me. 

"Um, she seems to accepts death calmly," I answered. "Maybe she wants to ease the uncertainty of what happens after."

"That's a good start, Miss Swan," Ms. Braeburn stated. "While Dickinson often portrays death throughout her work in brutal, cruel, or merciless way - here, Death is personified as a gentle figure. And in death, she chooses to take the companion of Immortality. She transcends time and mortality as the carriage heads to its final destination of eternity."

Finally, the bell rang. I closed the anthology and shoved it into my backpack before hurrying to lunch.

__

I entered the busy cafeteria and instantly spotted the Cullens - including Alice. Rosalie stood tall, glowering down at Alice. Her beautiful lips moved too fast for me to decipher what she was saying. But it was clear she was livid. The burly one, Emmett, put a hand on her shoulder, and coaxed her to sit down. There was Edward too, whom I recognized from this morning, his hands buried in his pockets. 

My feet froze to the cafeteria floor in an awkward in-between our tables. Then Alice looked my way and grinned. As she began to flutter toward me, an exchange too fast for the naked eye unfolded, in which somehow, Edward now stood over her shoulder, grasp tight on her slender arm. He muttered something low in her ear, and she tensed her shoulders. They exchanged tight glares before heading in opposite directions. I watched Edward stalk away, still peering over my shoulder as Alice looped her arm in mine, ushering us toward the perpendicular table.

Angela had been doodling on her folder, while Jessica was mid-sip of her iced coffee, both with jaws slack and eyes widen open. Angela, considerate as ever, blinked and cleared her throat. 

“Oh, hey, Alice,” Angela greeted politely. 

Sitting down, I couldn’t help but glance back over at the Cullens. Emmett had enveloped Rosalie into a seated embrace, tracing the side of his thumb down her cheek. Another instance of uneaten assortment of food. A plastic bag of eggs rested on the table, for some bizarre reason.

“I’m so happy to be at a table full of girls,” Alice beamed, clapping her hands together. “So, what's the 411, as they say?"

Angela bit her lip, suddenly bashful. "I’m still hoping Eric will ask me to the prom."

“You should ask Eric yourself,” I suggested. “You’re a strong, independent woman.”

Angela furrowed her brows. “You’re right. I should.”

Jessica let out a dramatic sigh. “Meanwhile, Mike is never going to ask me. I’ve tried bringing it up but he never gets the memo. He says he’s planning to ask somebody but, like, now I don’t feel like it’s me.”

“He’ll come around. He'd be a bonehead not to," Alice reassured. She angled forward with her palms flat on the table, almost feline-like. “So - if none of you have dresses yet - I was going to propose a little shopping trip.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Angela commented, chewing on a grape from a Ziploc bag. “Port Angeles has that really cute boutique on First Street."

Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. Although I had no desire to attend prom, I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented.

"True that," Jessica sighed. "Fine. Since I'm captain of the volleyball team and president of student council, I have to be there. For my reputation, obviously. Guess if Mike's a bust I could always ask Tyler Crowley."

"Fun!" Then Alice turned toward me, eyes glimmering. "How about you, Bella?" In a movement so subtle, she placed her hand on my thigh where my hand rested, intertwining our pale fingers. Her touch was ice cold, causing me to tremble in a mixture of surprise and delight. "You'd look simply ravishing in blue."

"I'll go if you stop fussing over me," I joked, hoping my cheeks hadn't been burning too scarlet.

"No promises," she quipped back. She clasped her hands together again, smiling from ear to ear. "Oh, this is going to be amazing! Now let's talk hair and makeup -"

Those subjects fueled the rest of the conversation, in which I didn't have much to contribute, but Jessica seemed elated by the attention. She may have even cracked a smile once or twice. I tried to listen to their easy chatter, but admittedly, I grew terribly uncomfortable. I hoped the other Cullens would simply ignore us, yet Alice hadn't seemed to mind. She may be small, but she sure was defiant. Still, I remained baffled at how I could've drawn the ire of her brothers and sisters. Was I too clumsy? Too plain looking? Insecurity gnawed at me again.

Eventually, lunch ended, and Alice squeezed my hand goodbye before returning to her clan. I must shamefully admit how my curiosity got the best of me, in my masterful plan of pretending to tie my shoe. I bent down to tug at the laces, occasionally glancing up to follow their path. Eventually, Emmett and Jasper tapered off, entering the gymnasium. Rosalie, Edward, and Alice remained, decidedly rounding the corner. I kept my footsteps light, lingering on the other side of the wall. 

"So you're holding her hand now?" a distinctly feminine voice growled. "It's bad enough that you're starting to reek like her friends too."

I paused to bring my shirt up to my collar and take a whiff. Smelled like regular fabric softener. Maybe she was talking about Jessica's generous use of Victoria's Secret body spray.

"Rose - please." A softer masculine voice, humiliated. 

"I know you love me, thanks," Alice said. "But I'd appreciate it if you stopped thwarting my plans."

"Please, Alice - you are lucky we're letting her live," Rosalie replied freshly. "You know what would happen if we had it my way."

With that, the clack of heels down the hall signified her exit. I hoped that was a hyperbole. Rosalie could probably kill me and do her nails at the same time. 

"You're being reckless, Alice," came the masculine voice again, now through gritted teeth. "Don't make me regret sticking my neck out for you."

"Will you stop whinging, Edward?" Seriously, no wonder you haven't found a significant other after all these years."

I had to suppress a chuckle with my hand over my mouth. There was a palpable silence. Ever so slightly, I peered around the corner, only a quarter of my face visible. Even though Edward towered over Alice in terms of physical stature, anyone could see that she could read him like a book. 

"You're getting on my nerves," he snapped.

Alice rose onto her tiptoes, still reaching nowhere near her brother's height, but close to his face with a cheshire grin. "Oh am I?" she lilted, in a particularly unchaste fashion that made my whole body flush. And yes - while I was completely and utterly attracted to Alice - they were both inhumanly, devastatingly beautiful. Was this what they called bi panic?

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?" I heard the tail end of Edward's final retort, as his face twisted into an expression of presumable disgust.

The bell rang, and I immediately jerked back behind the safety of the brick barrier, trying to pull myself together.

Chapter Text

After school, I needed an excuse to keep away from the Cullens, a notion that sounded backwards, as I was undeniably drawn to them. I remembered Angela had given me a flyer about literature club after school. I could find a ride back home from Charlie. Or even Jacob, who knew his way around my truck. 

If only Jacob attended Forks High School, maybe he could’ve been my lab partner in biology, instead of Alice. He would’ve invited me to sit with him at lunch. It would’ve been nice to know at least one person. Not that I didn’t enjoy Alice’s company - honestly, the extreme opposite.

Alice had pouted and pleaded, in the way that she does, suggesting a mall trip and listening to more Tegan and Sara. I had stammered, then snapped, harsher than intended - saying I needed some time alone. It stung, but Alice finally relented, and said something strangely cryptic - 

"I understand," Alice had said. "It'll be hard but - I'll respect your boundary and give you some space, Bella. Perhaps - now is too soon."

Attended literature club with Angela proved that it wasn’t much of a club as it was silent reading in the library. Hands in my back pockets, I strolled through the fiction section, before pulling the spine of my favorite novel - Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton. I decided to also pick up Emma by Jane Austen. After checking out the books from the librarian, I sat next to Angela, who was reading about nature photography. 

I tried to focus on the book, which I’ve read at least five times before on long car rides and under the covers with a flashlight. But not even the foreword of Tennyson’s poem could shake the sequence of events - the molehill slowly becoming a mountain.

You’re lucky we’re letting her live. You know what would happen if we had it my way.  My initial frustration stemmed from doing nothing to deserve their wrath - but now another question dovetailed with it - why should they have any say in their sister’s decisions? Caring what other people thought - that wasn’t like Alice.

Perhaps now is too soon.  I imagined she meant us being together. If so, I would forever be kicking myself, wondering how much more we could've been. But maybe this wasn't the right time for her either. I might need to swallow that until I could know what she knows, there wasn't a future yet. 

I glanced back over at Angela, still engrossed in pictures of hummingbirds. Whereas I had yet to turn the page. Chewing on my thumbnail, I began to think. And I came to terms with something I perhaps had been too unworldly to realize sooner. I had the sinking feeling that Alice was deliberately keeping something from me. Whether for protection or ignorance remained unknown - but the reason didn’t matter. 

___

Eric had stayed back for chess club, and offered to give Angela and me a ride. She ducked into the passenger’s seat of his Buick while I sat in the back. While Eric listened to the radio (and badly sang along to Hollaback Girl), our eyes met in the rearview mirror. I tossed a knowing look, and Angela blushed. I opened Tooth and Claw, pretending to read to give them a moment.

Fortunately, Angela got the message and cleared her throat. “Hey Eric?”

“Sup?” he asked, turning the volume knob counterclockwise to lower the music. 

“I was wondering - were you planning to attend prom this year?”

“Heck yeah!” he exclaimed. “I’m part of the planning committee. And I’m the eyes and ears of the school, so I gotta make sure I know what goes down. Just gotta get my suit rental. I’m thinking I mix it up and wear a navy blue suit -  ”

“Eric, do you want to go to prom with me?” 

A car behind us honked, and Eric slammed on the brakes at the red light. I buried my head in the book to keep from laughing. 

“Sure, Angie!” he tried to laugh, but it came out awkward and high-pitched, like a teenager going through puberty. “That sounds great! Now I gotta find a corsage.”

After Eric dropped me off, I received a text from Angela shortly after.

Angela: OMG - did I really do that?? I don’t know what came over me! I just did it!

Bella: I’m so proud of you! 

Angela: So tell me…are you and Alice going to get matching corsages or what?

Shit, was I that obvious?

I walked through the door to see Charlie poring through stacks of papers and manila folders with post it notes sticking out in all directions. 

“Hey dad,” I greeted, shrugging off my jacket and backpack.

“Hey Bells.” He let out a long sigh and put his head in his hands. “Holy crow, this case is a nightmare.”

“Want to order in? We have the menu for China Chef.” 

“That sounds fantastic,” he answered. “My wallet is on the counter. Could you get me uh, some beef and broccoli with lo mein?”

I couldn’t help but wince. “You sure you should be eating red meat?”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “C’mon, one meal won’t kill me.”

I thumbed through the menu and. I remembered this place from my childhood. Neither of my parents enjoyed cooking. Had it been up to Mom, I would’ve made something from her South Beach Diet cookbook. It was how I learned to broil, bake, and pan-fry salmon (although nothing compared to Harry Clearwater’s fish fry). Back in Phoenix, I did most of the grocery shopping, letting my mother attend pottery class and mimosa brunches. I did most of everything. 

Had it been up to Charlie, he would’ve popped a Stouffer’s lasagna in the microwave. Every Thursday, he went to the local restaurant for a plate of steak and fries, then berry cobbler for dessert. I went with him last week, where a few people approached our table to say hello the chief of police and his daughter. Impressed with how much I’ve grown, fondly remembering holidays, though my youngest years remained a blur. 

As I picked up the phone on the wall, I couldn’t help but catch a glimpse at his paperwork. A newspaper snippet peered over the cover, bold capital letters jumping out at me - DNA RESULTS REVEAL MASON GUARD - but the closed folder cut it off there. 

Charlie snapped me out of my budding curiosity. “Hey Bells, can you actually make mine a combo meal with an egg roll?”

“Sure, dad.”

___

After dinner and watching Lethal Weapon - one of Charlie’s favorites - I crashed onto my bed and allowed myself to sink into the comforter. I didn’t even want to think about doing homework right now. All I wanted was Alice, but I had begun to doubt whether she wanted me. The Cullens were so isolated, so reclusive - but why? What were they hiding? I wanted to be angry at them about it, yet the Cullens had an inexplicable grasp on me. 

A melody of bells nearly caused me to leap off the bed. I read the caller ID. It was the first time she had called. I had been avoiding calling her, for obvious reasons.

“Hey mom.” 

Renee let out the breath she’d been holding when she heard me pick up. “Hey honey, I’m so sorry, I meant to call sooner. Phil is getting the rental car fixed, can you believe it? I told him to go with Alamo, but he insisted -“

“It’s okay,” I cut her off. “I get it. No worries.”

“How are you liking Forks?"

Thinking of Charlie my friends, and admittedly Alice, I smiled softly to myself. "I guess Forks is growing on me."

Then came a barrage of questions: "Tell me everything. How’s school? Are your classes hard? Did you make any friends? Any cute boys?”

A once boy-crazed teenager (and probably adult - in the interim before Phil) Renee remained oblivious to my interest in girls. I mean, we both thought Leonardo diCaprio was gorgeous in Titanic . But she didn’t bat an eye at the posters of the Spice Girls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I loved Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku as Buffy and Faith, and I’d come to realize why) plastered on my bedroom walls. To her, I was simply a tomboy who hated wearing dresses. 

"School is good, classes are fine, and yes I made friends," I answered in succession. I rolled my eyes at the mention of cute boys. Edward was cute. Jasper was handsome too. But I desired neither of them, obviously. "I mean - there is someone,” I admitted sheepishly. “But right now it’s complicated. I’m kind of getting mixed signals.”  

“Oh, I’ve been there too, Bella,” she sighed wistfully. “How about you just talk to them? Couples counseling taught me that communication is key."

The irony of that advice did not go lost on me. "I think that would complicate things further." 

"You never know," Renee singsonged. "I'm so glad you're enjoying it up there. I hope it's not too cold either with all that rain. Remind Charlie to keep the heat on, would you?" I heard vague clanging noises, and then Phil's voice. "Oh, Phil said the rental car is good to go! I'll call you next week. Maybe the week after? Please don't hate me if it's in two weeks!"

I hurried to respond. "You're fine, mom. Talk soon. Bye."

I let out a breath. Rolling over onto my back, I began to type out a message to Alice on my phone. 

We should talk.

Do you want to date me?

Does your family secretly hate me or something?

Are we dating?

My thumb repeatedly pressed the backspace button. No way was I going to do this over text. Tomorrow, I would approach Alice and try to set things straight, and it would be the only straight thing about us. 

—-

When Charlie went to bed, which was 10 PM sharp on workdays, but on his days off he often fell asleep on the couch watching football, I emerged from bed. I could hear my dad’s soft snoring, signaling the coast would be clear. I tiptoed down the stairs, toward the table where all his files sat.

Just a peek. Nothing more. I needed to know something around here.

DNA RESULTS REVEAL MASON GUARD - 

In that moment, I briefly remembered Carlisle and Charlie discussing a guard from Mason at the grocery store. I wanted to groan, but I couldn’t hold it against Carlisle. Charlie kept saying how he was the best doctor this town had ever seen. If this was serious, he should be on the case. I opened the folder. When I saw the rest of the headline, my heart leapt into my throat.

AS VICTIM OF VICIOUS ANIMAL ATTACK.

What accompanied the article were pictures of the guard among the yellow tape. He must’ve been no older than forty. He was completely pallid, stripped of his jacket and shirt. Deep marks punctured through his skin, but for what was described as a vicious animal attack, there wasn’t a drop of blood in sight. I rummaged through to another sheet of paper, an autopsy report signed off by Dr. Carlisle Cullen. 

Type of death: Found dead. Suspicious, unusual, or unnatural. 

So that’s why Charlie was pulling his hair out over this. Seems like I’m not the only one looking to get to the bottom of things. 

In the figure drawing, the neck, wrist, and leg were marked off. Three wounds in different places. The neat cursive in the description noted bruises and apparent bite or claw marks. I glanced back at the pictures. I couldn’t think of any animal in the Pacific Northwest  who could make claw marks that deep. 

Probable cause of death: Likely animal attack

Manner of death: Unknown

Unknown? How could it be unknown if they cited an animal attack? Unless, that was only speculation, or a cover-up for the real story.

Guilt took over, and I slammed the folder shut. I could convince myself that I read too many horror novels. I could convince myself that it was one in the morning and I was imagining things. But I couldn’t betray my conscience like that. 

Something strange was happening in Forks. I had the creeping feeling that everything would intertwine.

Chapter Text

Today would be the day I start getting answers. I thought about rehearsing what I’d say in the mirror, but talking to my reflection would seriously make me cringe. It didn’t matter. I just needed to communicate how I felt. If only it were actually that simple. I let my thoughts wander as I drove the truck to school, turning down the heat to accommodate the strangely sunny weather.

My mother’s advice rang in my ears. I couldn’t imagine her ever trying to talk to my father. She just packed her things and left. That was easy for her. When my parents met, she had been visiting Forks, camping at First Beach in La Push. She told me the story of when Charlie and Billy approached her, and it had been so windy that Billy’s hat flew off his head and Charlie went chasing after it. Both of them agreed it was love at first sight. Mom would sigh and say that he was persistent. When she returned, he proposed. A few weeks later, they got married.

Then Grandma got sick, and Charlie needed to help Grandpa take care of her. Fortunately, they had moved into a house across the street. Mom tried to convince Dad to leave Forks and start over in sunnier skies, but he couldn't abandon his parents. Then I was born, and postpartum depression worsened things. 

“I said we could move back to California. Even the Bahamas, could you imagine,” she'd recall, bitterly laughing through a smile. “I didn’t want a promising girl like you growing up in a gloomy town like Forks.”

Charlie couldn’t bring himself to choose her over his parents, which is what probably drove the wedge through their relationship. But he didn’t contest the divorce or the child support. All he’d asked for was time with me. Although I could tell he never truly let go. Despite his quietness, he always talked about their good times, whereas mom would become irritated or try to brush the subject off. In the end, Renee got what she wanted. She started over, just without Charlie. And now that I was back in Forks, the only reminder of her ex-husband could truly begin a new chapter in their lives.

That was the difference. If I had been more like my mother, if I could truly separate my heart and self, I could have walked away too. But I didn’t want to be like her. My dad deserved closure to the open wound in his heart. And now, so did I.

If I kept pining after Alice without knowing the truth, I would only be hurting myself.

__

After some time away, I was desperate to see the Cullens - namely Alice , of course. My eyes kept flickering to the clock during class, anxiously tapping the glitter gel pen on my textbook. I mindlessly played with the butterfly pendant on the silver chain around my neck. Phil had gotten it for me for my birthday last year. 

Immediately upon entering the cafeteria, I glanced toward the Cullen’s table. It was empty. My eyes scoured the rest of the room, hoping to find Alice waltzing towards our table. But there was nothing, and my heart sank.  No scowling blonde with glowing skin. No brooding boy in the gray peacoat. And no pixie-haired dream girl.

I shambled along behind Angela and Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen to their conversation about the swim team anymore. Had I driven Alice away with my distance? 

It was the first day that the sun dared to peek out behind the clouds. Nearly all the students went outside to lounge in the quad, tossing around frisbees or sitting on the grass. Jessica perched herself on top of a picnic table, eyes closed, chest toward the sun. 

“Just so you know, Alice won’t be joining us today,” Jessica remarked. “Whenever the weather’s nice, the Cullens disappear.”

I sat up a little straighter. “They just - ditch?”

Jessica sighed and stretched her arms above her head. “Dr. and Mrs. Cullen yank ‘em out for hiking and camping and stuff. I tried the idea out on my parents - no dice.”

Eric slid onto the bench, placing an arm around Angela. I offered a subtle smile. Angela was a good friend; she deserved to be happy. 

"Sup Arizona?" Eric asked, nodding his head toward me.

“So Bella,” Angela prompted.“Any plans to invite Alice to literature club next week?”

I rolled my eyes half-heartedly. “Well, she already declined my invitation to go to La Push so -” 

When she drove me to school that one morning, she said she’d check her calendar. I hadn’t heard back - I knew when a lack of response meant no. 

“You’re going to La Push?” Jessica chuckled, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “No offense Bella, but you don’t seem like the surfing type.”

“It's not to surf. It's a bonfire,” I spoke, placing my chin on my knuckles. “My friend Jacob offered -"

"Wait, that actually sounds super fun," Eric chimed in. "Can we come?"

"Um- sure," I replied. "I'll ask him right now."

I would convince myself that being more social would be a good thing. Besides, I didn’t want to seem like a friendless loser in front of Jacob. I pulled out my phone and quickly typed, before checking my inbox. No texts from Alice. Surely she would have let me know she wouldn't be here today - or mentioned family camping trips at some point.

“Alice seems a lot more social than her siblings," Angela mused quietly. "I wonder why she wouldn’t want to attend.”

__

I realized I’d been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology. I saw her empty seat and felt a new wave of disappointment. No meeting with Alice by her locker to walk to our next class, which became a routine since the day we met in Biology. Sometimes she would loop her arm with mine or put her hand on the small of my back. I missed her touch, a comforting chill, knowing she was there at my side. 

I lingered at my own locker, listening to iPod with one headphone in. Charlie shipped it to Phoenix as a gift for graduating middle school three years ago. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hardly listened music. I downloaded some Teagan and Sara after Alice played it in the car yet I couldn’t bring myself to listen to anything that reminded me of her. Instead, I softly tapped my foot to “New Slang” by the Shins. 

“Hey Bella!”

My body tensed at the sudden exclamatory greeting, ripping out the earbud so fast that I almost gave myself whiplash. I turned around to see Mike Newton from History class. He was wearing a fitted t-shirt and carrying a duffel bag with embroidered varsity lettering. 

With a bright smile, he gave me an emphatic wave. “I know we haven’t talked but I figured I’d introduce myself. I should’ve way sooner but better late than never right?” An awkward pause that he jumped to disrupt with his hand outstretched toward mine. “I’m Mike. Mike Newton.”

I really didn’t want to return the favor, but I wasn’t raised in a barn. After gingerly taking his hand in mine and giving a single shake, I nodded. “I know. Mr. Wright tells you to stop throwing erasers in class.”

“Guilty on all counts,” he joked, running a had through his blond spiky hair. “Well, anyway - I hope I can join the welcome party! Maybe I can even show you around town.” 

“I have someone showing me around already, thanks.” My response came out clipped, perhaps harsher than Mike deserved. I wasn’t in the mood be social, a rare occurrence in and of itself. I wanted to be left alone with just me and my internal conflict.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook my resolve.

"Well then, maybe I can escort you to prom?"

Talk about out of left field. "I wasn't really planning on going." I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. But then I remembered how dejected Jessica had been at lunch. "But you'll be there, yeah?"

“For sure,” Mike spoke, expression brightening.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “You should ask Jessica.”

“Jessica Stanley?” he half-laughed, but then he stopped. “Wait, really?”

“Mhm. She’s been waiting for you to bring it up. You really shouldn't make her wait any longer — it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled. “Anyway - I have somewhere to be so - I'll see you around."

I offered a shy wave back, almost whispering my next words. “See you around.”

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the second-hand embarrassment out of my skull.

__

When I got home, I chose to enjoy the nice weather as well. However, a hiking trip wasn’t exactly my speed. I’d trip over a rock, lose my footing and go tumbling down the mountain, into a secret cave I grabbing a ragged old quilt from the closet and headed towards the small, square yard. The untrimmed grass remained slightly wet, even with the sun in the sky. I laid down the quilt and rested on my side, reading the copy of Emma from the school library. 

Ugh, I forgot how snobbish Emma could be. 

I only want to keep Harriet to myself…

The warmth on my skin felt like home, a soothing memory. A light breeze blew my hair around my face, tickling my flushed cheeks. Rolling onto my back, I let my hair fan out on the quilt. I closed my eyes and unabashedly soaked up the sun. 

And then I woke up - hearing the rumble of Charlie’s cruiser approaching the house. I bolted upright, now seeing the sun dip beneath the trees. Muddled, I looked around. A tingle ran down my spine. Had I truly been alone?

I wandered back inside to find Charlie on the couch. “Hey - I fell asleep outside. Sorry.”

“No worries, kiddo,” he said. “I saw in the TV Guide this morning that one of your favorite movies is on tonight. That uh -” He snapped his fingers, searching for the name. “Star Wars, A New Hope, right. Wanna watch together?”

I didn’t have the heart to correct him that my favorite was actually Empire Strikes Back. So we sat on the couch with our leftover Chinese food, watching Luke experience the binary sunset on Tatooine. My phone buzzed with a text message from Jessica. 

Jessica: OMG!! Mike just asked me out to prom!!

Bella: That’s great, Jess. I knew he’d come around. 

I almost finished Alice’s words in my head - he’d be a bonehead not to.

Jessica: Grab your girlfriend, we’re going dress shopping. Port Angeles next week?

Did everyone know that I was in supposedly in relationship with Alice but me?

I piped up during a commercial break. “Hey, um - I’m thinking about going to Port Angeles with some friends next week, if that’s cool.”

“That tourist town?” Charlie inquired. “What for?”

“We’re going to look at dresses for the prom.”

Charlie snorted. “Since when did you want to go to prom? I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since third grade school picture day.”

I stifled a laugh. “Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it."

“Well, okay.” He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth, much like myself.

"You’ll be okay for dinner, right?”

“Bells, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here,” he answered. “Which friends are you going with? Jackie and Amber?”

“Jessica and Angela,” I corrected him. “And Alice.”

“You know, I bet Alice would take you to the prom,” he commented. 

My cheeks burned. “Changing the subject!” I interjected. “How’s your casework going?” A bold question, but I’d be lying if I said my curiosity weaned.

“Um - still kind of a question mark,” he admitted. “Dr. Cullen wants to study blood samples, but we’re having a hard time getting ‘em.” His brows furrowed. “What's got you interested in forensics?"

“I dunno,” I exhaled, shrugging. “Just making conversation. Talking about our day.” Not the whole truth, but not a blatant lie either. 

“No, I get it,” Charlie said to my surprise. “You wanna make sure it's safe for when you go to Port Angeles." He got up from the couch and came back with a small can of pepper spray. I nearly  groaned when he handed it to me. "Take this and keep it on your keychain. Remember to use your thumb to deploy it."

It seemed Charlie was clueless as I was, even with the aid of Dr. Cullen. And like me, he knew that the sleepy town of Forks had suddenly started to become dangerous. 

__

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling out of the driveway. He was probably going fishing with Billy and Harry. I closed my eyes, but to no further repose. My body and mind decided to start two hours early. The shower didn't last long as I hoped it would. Even taking the time to blow-dry my hair didn't wring my thoughts out. Wrapped in a towel, I crossed back to my room. I dressed into my most comfy sweats and made my bed - something I never did. I even had time to myself a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, which I brought upstairs to my bedroom desk. 

Whiplash from girl crushes and murder mysteries aside, I was already under enough stress with my studies, with exam season looming. I could use this extra time to study - or continue down the rabbit hole of the mysterious Cullens. I dug through my backpack, opening my English notebook to the list made during the unit on Dickinson. 

Pale skin 

Insanely attractive 

Golden eyes

Strict vegetarians 

Holy crow, like so attractive

My teeth dug into my bottom lip. Clicking my glitter gel pen, I scrawled on a new line:

Absent in sun

This was starting to sound insane. Should I leave my English notebook in a time capsule, my descendants would think I ended up in some mental asylum. Dickinson had warned me that sapphic longing would lead to despair.

My latest point remained questionable.  Mom went on her hikes and camping trips in the summer. So why wouldn’t the Cullens just wait until summer break to go camping? 

Alice was an astute student as well, raising her hand to participate and never getting an answer wrong. Had I not already done that Biology lab, she would’ve easily passed on her own. Alice must know the impact attendance would have on her student record. 

Begrudgingly, I opened up my laptop. I hated using the Internet here. I went to the search engine and researched  aversions or allergies to sunlight. An article from a medical academy discussed something called photophobia, or extreme light sensitivity. But the article cited it as a symptom, and not a condition. Even so, the lights in the hallway and cafeteria never seemed to bother Alice or her siblings. The Cullens were all adopted, so what were the chances of all of them sharing the same neurological problem? 

Another dud. I sighed and wrote down the most basic observation.

Absent on sunny days  No sunlight 

I thought back to all the seeming coincidences. When she knew I preferred to be called Bella. When I needed a pen in biology without saying anything. So maybe she could read minds? Next thing I know, I’ll be considering radioactive spiders and Kryptonite.

However, telepathy wouldn’t explain why Carlisle had Alice’s number on a piece of paper at the store. I recalled when Alice politely declined joining her lunch table. It’s just not possible yet.

Yet. What did she mean by yet? Was there an implied time as to when I’d join the Cullen circle? 

My gaze absentmindedly wandered, falling on my nearly full hamper, with the cream colored top draped over its side. That was the top I wore on the morning Alice drove me to school. In that brief moment, I attempted to recall that day more clearly. The commotion around the orange cones that surrounded my parking spot, next to Edward. I couldn’t theorize Edward giving a shit about me beyond reasonable doubt - he and Rosalie seemed to compete as to who could glare at me the longest. 

It was a good thing Alice drove me that day. My mind had raced with the chances of an accident happening, had the ice not been sectioned off. Another car could’ve hit my truck - or hit me.

Being cooped up inside my room would only feed my madness. I had another hour before school started, so I got dressed and pulled on my boots. I didn't know where I was headed. I shrugged into my raincoat without checking the weather and walked out the door, purposely leaving my notebook behind. The sky was overcast, and the grass shined with morning dew. I angled across the yard onto the thin trail that led into the vast forest, snaking around spruces and maples. I promised myself I would only walk a mile at most.

I sat down on a recently fallen tree. Without the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing. Until the soft sound of pattering, drops increasing in frequency. I grappled with the attributes that latently suggested something that I didn't want to believe. 

The Cullens were strict vegetarians, in Alice's words, but they never seemed to eat. I noticed it the first day in the cafeteria. When Alice sat with us, she spent the entire period chatting, without taking a bite or sip of anything. Not only were they captivatingly beautiful, but they moved with a disturbing grace, like statues come to life. And the way she sometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences and exquisite prescriptivism, fit better with someone older, and not in a twenty-first century classroom. 

The Cullens were inhuman. Was I really starting to believe this? Would anyone believe me if I told them about these hypotheses?

Words came back, her cold hand in mine, my heart skipping a beat when she so sweetly promised that she wasn’t going to let anything happen to me.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I know everything is going to be alright?” 

Intuition? Clairvoyance? The gift of prophecy? My head spun in answerless circles. I decided that most of the blame belonged on the entire Olympic Peninsula. 

The Cullens were more than human. So then maybe - that would have to be my answer for now. 

On my walk back, I stared up at the towering trees, a chill down my spine. Nothing had changed in this forest for centuries, and every possibility seemed more likely in this green haze than they had in my clear-cut bedroom. 

Chapter Text

Like most kids my age, I was grateful that it was the weekend. Going to La Push meant escaping the four walls of my bedroom, away from the conspiracies and fret. My morning walk the other day invigorated me. I found myself longing for the scent of petrichor. However, I rose from bed later than intended, making up for multiple sleepless nights. I worked on a piece of my Math homework, drowning in formulas and equations. I read more pages of Emma, snacking on an apple - keeping myself busy until the bonfire. I packed a crocheted blanket and a scarf in a knapsack - plus some extra plastic utensils and napkins from the football watch party. 

Charlie sat on the couch with a microwave meal in his lap and a Rainer beer on coffee table coaster, watching the local news on TV. I lingered in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, tuning in to the banner beneath the reporter. She was covering the the mason guard attack, showing snippets of the same pictures from the police files. Yet there had been no updates to the autopsy, as the manner of death remained unknown. The reporter concluded the segment with cautioning viewers to stay away from the woods, and in the case of encountering a rabid animal, to call animal control. 

"Be safe out there Bells," he called out as I was making my way out the door. "You got your flashlight on you?"

Rummaging in the back of the kitchen drawer, I found the flashlight, clicking it on to ensure it worked. Stupidly, I held it up to my face, and the bright light blinded me, causing me to see spots for a minute.

"And make sure Jacob has his hunting knife on him!" That was the last thing Charlie yelled when I closed the door, and a horn honked outside. 

__

It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks. Mike offered to drive everyone to First Beach in his parents’ van. Its bumper was covered in stickers from Newton’s Olympic Outfitters, a hiking and sporting supply store owned by his family. Jessica texted me earlier about inviting him. I said I didn’t mind, and I was being honest. Fortunately, I snagged the window seat. 

Out of morbid curiosity, I checked my phone once more. No texts or calls from Alice. I could ask her about the math homework, or I could remind her about prom dress shopping - at least the latter excited her. Though it had been days without any communication. My mind swam with fatalistic explanations, resulting in the sinking feeling that I may never hear from Alice ever again. 

He parked the minivan on the gravel path, lurching forward. I heard someone shout my name, and my hair whipped around with the wind. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, seeing Jacob walk toward me with two other boys, sharing his tan complexion and long hair.

"This is Paul and Embry." 

“Nice to meet you,” I greeted. 

Paul grinned wolfishly. “We already know who you are. Jacob here won’t shut up about you.”

Raising my eyebrows, I looked over at Jacob. Despite the darkening sky, I saw blush creep onto his cheeks. 

“This is Eric and Angela,” I introduced. “And Mike and Jessica. Everyone, this is Jacob - and Paul, and Embry."

A wistfulness stirred in me, realizing I was the only person who came alone. But I was happy to see Eric and Angela all smiles. Whereas Mike looked less thrilled about Jessica clinging onto his arm - though she appeared like she just won the lottery.

"So Alice really couldn't come?" Angela whispered. 

"You mean Alice Cullen?" Eric interjected loudly. Angela rolled her eyes at him, removing his arm from around her shoulder.

"I think it's nice that you invited her," Angela mused. "No one ever does."

Overhearing us, Mike let out a rather obnoxious laugh. "Yeah, cause the Cullens are freaks." I bowed my head, ignoring Paul and Mike high-fiving and laughing about that. 

"You guys know them?" I inquired, hopeful. 

“The Cullens don’t come here.” Embry said, in a more solemn tone. Jacob shot him a look. I closed my mouth, waiting for Embry to elaborate - but he didn't. His expression remained stone. All fell silent, only the sounds of the distant lapping shores and calls of birds surrounding us. 

Branches creaking beneath our feet, we followed the boys to the clearing, where the canopy of trees began to part and the wind began to whistle. Naturally, I fell on my way there, earning some shallow scrapes on my palms and green stains on my knees. It could’ve been worse. Austere, soaring firs crowned the sheer cliff sides, whisking the brisk, briny breeze toward the rocky shore in the distance.

Each log sat two people - Eric and Angela, Mike and Jessica, Paul and Embry. That left Jacob and me. I sort of wished I could sit next to Angela. She was a nice person to be around, preferring to share the peaceful quiet. I thought about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks - some days became a blur. At other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference - and it disturbed me. 

We assembled a ring of driftwood logs, previously used for bonfires like ours before. There was already a fire circle in place, full of black ashes. Eric and Embry gathered some broken branches of driftwood from the drier piles against the forest edge. Jacob used the same lighter Billy used to smoke an occasional cigar with Charlie to ignite the first branch.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire before?" Mike asked. I shook my head.

Carefully, he placed the blazing twig against the pile of wood, which lit another small branch.

"It's blue," I said in surprise.

"The salt does it. Pretty, isn't it?" He lit one more piece, and I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle toward the sky.

Jacob brought sausage links to roast over the fire, as well as and dried salmon, a delicacy in Forks. Embry brought a boombox, first playing Bow Wow and 50 Cent. Jacob made sure to change the hip-hop CD to the new Green Day album, American Idiot, which was a bit more my style. The fast-paced vocals and guitar reminded me of Linkin Park, a band Phil introduced me to, with their album Hybrid Theory. Right now, a song called "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was playing. I liked this one best. 

We all chatted about typical adolescent topics, sprinkled in with laughter over stupid jokes. For once, I was in a totally good mood. Then Mike brought up the recent animal attacks, mentioning how all the customers at the outfitters were talking about it. According to him, a few hikers claimed they saw a grizzly bear.

"Could be the Butcher Beast," Embry said.

"What’s the Butcher Beast?” Eric asked with wide eyes, now chewing the licorice faster.

Jacob pinched the bridge of his nose shook his head. "Don't start, man." 

Embry wiggled his eyebrows. “The Butcher Beast is a massive creature, at least fifteen feet tall with glowing red eyes, sharp yellow fangs and claws." He picked up his flashlight and held it under his chin, casting a ghastly shadow. "It has a heart of ice and feasts on human flesh."

"Can we talk about something else , please? Literally anything else?" Jessica interjected. For once, I was grateful for her social insolence. 

Our surroundings seemed too ominous and murky against the adolescent laughter. I leaned over to Jacob. “Hey, um - do you want to walk down the tide pools with me?"

Jacob smiled. “Sure.”

The hike down to the pools wasn't too long. I measured step carefully, avoiding roots below and branches above, and I soon fell behind. Eventually we broke through the dense, whispering forest and onto the shore. It was low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. The waves were pitch black. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained teemed with life. Jacob and I stood on the fringe of the larger pools, spellbound by the natural aquarium, even in the darkness, the brilliant anemones and curved shells shone. 

I was completely absorbed, except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Alice was doing now, and trying to imagine what she would be saying if she were here with me.

I snapped my fingers, at the same time snapping myself out of my daze. "Oh - my dad wanted to make sure you brought your hunting knife."

Jacob patted the side of his pocket. "Locked and loaded, baby."

We shared a chuckle, until I could no longer ignore the nudge. “Do you really believe in those stories?” 

“So that’s what you wanted to talk about.” Jacob spoke incredulously, shaking his head. “That’s not a real story. Embry's just making stuff up.” His expression softened. “There are actual Quileute stories though. When I was little, my grandfather told us stories of the Raven. He’d do great imitations of animal noises. Sometimes he’d even sing."

“That’s nice,” I murmured, captivated for a moment. But I remembered why I originally asked, and I couldn’t go quiet now. "Well - what did he mean by the Cullens don't come here?"

The humor fell from Jacob's expression. Goosebumps formed on my arms.

“Don’t worry, I won’t give you away," I said, pulling my lips tight.

"From what my dad explained, The Quileute Tribal Council found them violating our hunting regulations," he explained. "Something about how their way of hunting was unethical. As a result, the Cullens are no longer allowed on Quileute land. It's been kind of swept under the rug."

I tilted my head, letting my tousled hair fall down my shoulders. "Do you really believe that?"

Jacob shrugged. "The misdemeanors happened before I was born, apparently." 

A scoff escaped my mouth. "So you lied when you told me they moved here a few months ago,"

Again appeared the rosy color in his cheeks. "Guess you got me there," he admitted sheepishly. "I'm sorry. My dad doesn't like talking about the Cullens, and he was in the other room when you mentioned it. It's all been swept under the rug for the most part. I wasn't lying about them mostly keeping to themselves."

A shiver ran down my spine - from the truth or from the cold, remained uncertain. A bloodcurdling scream came from the woods, and I whirled around so hard that I nearly gave myself whiplash. Jacob turned too, immediately planting himself in front of me. I clicked my flashlight on, able to make out two silhouettes barrelling toward us. It was only Angela, trying to run away from Eric waving a worm on a stick. I placed my hand over my chest, trying to steady my now lightning fast heartbeat.

“You okay?” Jacob asked, reaching back toward me. I flinched, and he jerked his hand away. I winced at the embarrassment of it all. 

"Sorry I - I'm fine," I rambled. "I'm just cold - I've got a blanket and scarf in my bag."

Jacob quirked an eyebrow. “Are you really just a scaredy cat?”

My mouth hung open in mock surprise. "You better chill, or I'll tell Billy you stole his lighter."

The boy snorted. "Please, like that's a shock to him."

His brown eyes gazed up at the sky, much darker than moments ago, another instance of time moving discontinuously. "We should head back to the bonfire and get you warmed up then.” 

Mike jogged over to us as we stepped back into the clearing. “There you are, Bella,” he beamed, relieved. I tried not to notice Jessica glowering at him. “Where have you been?”

“Down by the tide pools," I responded matter-of-factly. "Just talking."

“We’re packing up and heading out,” Angela spoke, getting up and slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Eric’s mom has a strict curfew, especially with what’s on the news.”

Jacob turned to me. “It was nice to see you again,” Jacob said, and I could tell he was taunting Mike just a bit. “I’m glad you were able to join us - even if your friend couldn’t.”

“You too. And thanks,” I added. “For your sympathy, I mean.”

Jacob lowered his voice. “I know my dad will tear into me if I don’t say this, so - be careful around the Cullens, okay?” 

In total spite of myself, I nodded.

Pulling up my hood, we tramped across the rocks back toward the gravel lot. I crawled into the backseat by Angela and laid my head back, trying very hard not to think.

____

In my dreams, there was an elegant opera house, golden and ivory, with an imposing stage at its center, velvet red curtains swept on either side. The bright lights turned on, revealing a graceful ballerina standing first position, tutu skirt shimmering. I took ballet lessons as a child. Needless to say, my lack of coordination frustrated me, and I quit shortly after. But even I couldn't keep my eyes off her. The orchestra began to play, and her lithe body angled forward. 

[ Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds / Or bends with the remover to remove] 

The ballerina leaped in a grand jeté across the magnificent stage. Next, she connected her pointed toe to her outer thigh, beginning a series of pirouettes in perfect unison with the allegro tempo of the strings. Her short, spiky hair lashed out with every turn of her head, as she twirled and twirled and twirled, keeping her gaze fixed on me. I watched, enraptured.

[ O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark / That looks on tempests and is never shaken]

Finally, she curtsied, and thunderous applause filled the theatre. However, the show was far from over. The applause died down, and the lights dimmed. The ballerina sank down onto one leg and performed a fondu, then contorted forward, eyes darkened. My breath hitched in my throat, a chill ran up my spine. Time seemed to come to a benumbed halt.

[Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks]

She pounced on top of me, stretching open her mouth, about to put her canine teeth in the side of my neck. I sat paralyzed, gripping the sides of the chair. My perspective became hazy. I started to slip, slowly - then sinking deeper, deeper down, until the world became black. The last thing I felt was a weight on my lap, and a furious clashing against my lips. I thought I heard someone say something. Maybe it was my name. I couldn't register it. They sounded a million miles away.

I had never given much thought to how I would die. I don't think anyone does, until they realize it's happening. 

[Love alters not with her brief hours and weeks / But bears it out even to the edge of doom]

I woke up with a start, brow dampened with sweat. I checked the clock. It was nearly three in the morning. My phone buzzed. A missed text from around midnight. I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palm, grabbing the phone with my other hand. I nearly dropped it upon seeing the sender and reading the message. 

ALICE: Hello darling - I think it's time we talk. 

Damn her for prodding at my subconscious. 

Chapter Text

I had come to realize something worse than incessant rain - freezing rain in winter.

Exams had started, an unfortunate predicament for someone who entered in the middle of the semester. I already began studying, leaning against my truck with my History textbook in my hand. But my attempt to memorize dates and wars was futile. All I could think about was Alice’s text. After a week apart, I had been aching to see her again, to hear her melodic voice. 

The Cullens crowded around a shiny convertible, sticking out among the station wagons and hatchbacks. First, I spotted Jasper, clenching the handle of his umbrella, and then Emmett with his arm around his tensed shoulders.

And then I saw Alice, radiant and beautiful. She tossed a a handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face. He blinked, surprised, and then grinned, throwing a handful of ice back, accidentally getting some on Rosalie. She recoiled and Alice laughed, a mellifluous sound that carried through the wind.

It was like a scene from a painting, idyllic and sentimental. They were so perfect, all of them. 

“Arizona, how you liking the rain, girl?”

I turned to see Mike, Jessica, and Angela. During the last literature club meeting, Angela mentioned that Eric would be out of town visiting family in South Korea. 

“Knock it off, Mike,” Jessica interjected. There was a twinge of annoyance in what should have been a playful reprimanding. She turned to me and smiled. “Are we still on for dress shopping this weekend?”

My response came out in a pained groan. “Do I have to?” 

“Well you can’t go to prom wearing flannel and sneakers," she huffed. It sounded like something Alice would say.

How about I don't go to prom at all?

Peering over their shoulders, my gaze wandered back over to the Cullens, who had mostly disbanded. Only the twins remained. Jasper assisted Rosalie in picking the bits of snow from her blonde curls. Even while wincing, primping her hair to restore its bounce, Rosalie was gorgeous. Eventually, she swatted him away, and pulled out her compact mirror to touch up her lipstick.

"I'm sure Alice would love that," Angela teased. She squeezed my arm reassuringly and lowered her voice. "Come on - you're gonna have to talk to her eventually."

If I had to balance my gratitude for Angela on a scale, it would be too little. 

__

I was taking the practice exam in the middle of algebra when I needed to use the restroom. I totally lost track of my - monthly female occurrences. 

I dug through my backpack, unable to find a sanitary pad or tampon. Great. I would have to settle for a wad of toilet paper and pray for stain-free jeans. Exiting the stall, I rushed to the sink and I turned on the faucet, cringing at the crappy water pressure. Luckily, I was able to squeeze out the last bit of gel soap from the dispenser.

“Hi, Bella.”

My chest tightened. There was the voice that I hadn’t heard in a week, now only in my dreams. Despite my better judgement, I looked up, seeing Alice's reflection in the mirror.

“H-Hi.”

She reached into her purse and handed me a pad wrapped in floral cloth packaging. “I figured you could use this.”

I shoved the pad in my pocket, cheeks burning. “Oh - thanks.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Bella,” Alice spoke, in that odd matter-of-factly but also unenthusiastic way. “But obviously I’m not here to talk to you about that."

"What are we going to talk about then? You sent a pretty cryptic text message." 

Her voice softened. “Well - do you still want time alone?”

I shook my head, and she smiled, relieved. I hesitated in reciprocating the feeling. For all I knew, she could tell me that her family was leaving and she was never going to see me again. I had run hundreds of possible catastrophic scenarios in my head.

“I wanted to - apologize for my absence," Alice continued. "I was trying to respect your request for time apart but something - unexpected happened.” 

And that was it? A strangled laugh passed my lips, eyes downcast to the circling drain in the sink. “Sure.”

“You’re still upset.”

Immediately, I looked up, blinking back at our reflections. Sometimes, the accuracy of her insight startled me, though any rational person would be upset at what transpired. “Alice -” 

“Can’t you just - trust me?” she pleaded with a sorrowful smile. 

“How?” I shot back. My tone came out sharper than intended. I couldn't help it - days of pent up frustration, now combined with raging hormones, had all culminated. “I - feel like you’re hiding stuff from me. Not to mention your siblings hate my guts.”

Alice scoffed, slipping back into her assured sense of self. “Please, they respect me way too much to actually act on it,” she responded. “Rosalie and Edward hate everybody equally, and Emmett doesn’t mind. And Jasper, well -” 

Too impatient to let her finish, I took her freezing hand in mine and squeezed tight. "I want you, Alice,” I blurted out. “I can’t think straight without you.”

Her eyes widened, perhaps startled at first. Somehow in an instant, her small hands flew to my waist, pressing my back against the pale pink tile of the bathroom wall. She could shatter my hip bones and I wouldn't have minded. 

"I want you too," she whispered, barely audible. "Oh, Bella, if you only knew how much -" 

Her lips ghosted over mine, making me gasp. My heart pounded loud against my ribcage, about to burst at any moment. Gosh, I was so pathetically desperate.

Two could play at this game. I encircled her tiny wrists with my hands, letting her manicured fingers sink deeper into my torso, the fabric of my shirt riding up ever so slightly away from my low-waisted jeans. My teeth sank into my lower lip. For a split second, I caught our reflections in the mirror, our postures entangled, our faces inches apart. Fuck. I would mentally capture this moment, saving it for sleepless nights for when my lust spilled over.

"How much what, Alice?" I whispered back. 

Closing her eyes, she pressed her cold cheek to mine, burying her button nose into the crook of my neck. Parted lips brushed softly against my throat, up to the shell of my ear. I recalled the bizarre dream of ballerinas and bloodshed from the night before, wondering if this was some sort of fugue state.

Suddenly, she pulled away, yet the corner of her mouth upturned. "Your concupiscent behavior caught me by surprise," she remarked. "What am I going to do with you, Bella?"

We slid past the door, spacing out our departures to not catch any attention. Which would have been more convincing had she not been giggling the whole time, even now walking down the hallway. I ducked my head, not even wanting to think about how long I spent in there. I could always tell Mr. Stevens that it was girl stuff - and I wouldn't be lying. 

The petite girl inhaled sharply, hands clasped in front of her waist. "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I’m going to take you on a date. A real date. How do you feel about coffee?”

“I have a low tolerance for caffeine,” I confessed sheepishly.

"Noted. I'll make certain the cafe has other drinks. I figured you'd like a simple spot with no frills."

"Beats a first date in the girls bathroom," I joked.

"True," Alice reasoned, though smiling all the same. "What's a romantic place for you, Bella?"

Breathing out, I spoke the first thing that came to mind. "Anything outdoors, I guess. Somewhere quiet and serene, like a field of flowers or a meadow."

As she turned the corner, about to go our separate ways to different classrooms, her golden eyes sparkled with mirth. "Noted."

”Hey -“ I called out after her. “No more secrets, okay? No more keeping apart.”

Alice stopped in her tracks, but she was no longer facing me, so I couldn’t see her expression. She slowly turned over her shoulder and smiled wistfully. “To think I could ever actually keep apart from you.” 

Quicker than I could fathom, she vanished, but I felt a cool sensation on cheek, a fleeting memory of lips having briefly visited there.