Chapter Text
"Mr. Todd!" Nellie called out, looking around for her beloved friend. Usually the two of them would go on walks together, almost daily. She didn't see him anywhere downstairs, she supposed he was still in his room. It was strange, she was usually the one who took longer to get ready. "You almost ready, Mr. Todd?" She asked. "I'll be down in a moment," She heard him say. She nodded, and for a moment, she found herself getting completely lost in her thoughts.
She and Sweeney had been spending much more time together lately, which she was really happy about. They usually spent time together, of course, but now, he was slowly breaking his habit of pushing people away, and he seemed to be living in the moment a lot more. She was glad to see him doing so well, and she was glad that they were getting even more time together. Sweeney had always been her closest friend, and she had been in love with him for ages.
When they were younger, before he had been sent away, he was the sweetest, most gentle person she knew. Though he had changed so much, she could still see that side of him, even if it was hidden deep down. She seemed to be one of the few people he showed it to, probably the only one, in fact. He seemed to completely dislike most of humanity, but with her, he was still so sweet and gentle, even if he'd never admit to being either of those things. He had so much sadness and anger within him, his heart had hardened towards the world, but he still seemed to have a soft spot for her.
There were times when he would push her away, and there were times when he would focus on nothing other than revenge, but even so, they remained as close as ever, and now he was doing everything he could to make it up to her. She admired this effort, it meant a lot to know that he cared about their friendship just as much as she did, and to know that he cared about her. Even if others didn't see it, she knew that he was kind and affectionate towards those he cared about, and he was extremely protective too. She had seen him in his darkest moments, and yet he was one of the people she felt safest with, for he would never let anyone harm her. He was the type to protect his loved ones at all costs.
Nellie sighed as she continued to think about him. He was everything she could ever want in both a friend and a partner. There was so much that she adored about him, she always lost track every time she tried to list it all. She cherished every moment with him, and even when things seemed bleak, she continued to hope that they'd be together someday. With how things were now, clearly something was going right. She hoped that this good luck would continue.
She found herself absentmindedly looking around, still deep in thought, though she was brought back to reality when she noticed something on the counter that caught her eye. There was a bouquet of flowers, and an envelope next to it. The bouquet consisted of gillyflowers and daisies, her favourite flowers. She smiled as she stared at them. Her gaze then shifted towards the envelope, which she now saw had her name on it. She picked it up and opened it, quickly unfolding the paper inside, and began to read.
My dearest Mrs. Lovett,
I don't even know where to start. There is so much I want to say. For a little while now, I've felt like there was a lot I wanted to say to you. In fact, there probably aren't enough words in the English language, or in any other language, to cover all that I wish to say, so I hope this can suffice. To say that you've changed my life would be an understatement. You saw me at my absolute lowest, you saw me when I felt like I was only a shell of a man, and for reasons beyond my understanding, you stuck around. You've always been my closest companion, and you continue to be the most wonderful friend I could ever ask for. You've always been there for me when I needed you most. Truth be told, I'll always need you. I truly can't imagine a world without you in it. What a dreary world that would be. I once thought I'd live in darkness forever, but you brought the light back into my life. You're the light within the darkness, the calm within the storm. Life has slowly but surely began to feel okay again, and you're the main reason. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me feel more happy and alive than I've felt in a long time. I once thought I'd never feel that way again. I have grown so fond of you, my dear. You are the sweetest, most compassionate person I've ever been lucky enough to know, and also by far the funniest. You always seem to know how to lighten the mood when things are rough. There's much more that I adore about you, but if I were to write it all, I'd be writing forever. You are absolutely lovely. I have no idea how or why you care so much about me, but I am beyond grateful. I will always be grateful to have you in my life. You truly mean the world to me, Mrs. Lovett. I struggle to express all of this aloud, I even struggle now as I write this for you, but I want you to know just how much I adore you. You've torn down all of the walls that I had built up inside, and you've found your way into my heart. This heart of mine, which I once thought would never feel in such a way ever again, is yours to keep. It will always be yours, I will always be yours. I once tried to push away these feelings, I suppose I was terrified deep down. Terrified of being so vulnerable again, opening myself up to pain, terrified of letting go of the past, terrified that I might lose you too, but now I want you to know, you deserve to know, and I feel I'd regret it even more if I went on not telling you. I love you, Mrs. Lovett. I love you so much.
Love,
S. Todd
P.S. I hope you like the flowers. I remember gillyflowers and daisies being your favourites. Am I correct about that?
For a moment, all Nellie could do was stare at the paper in complete shock and disbelief. She skimmed through it a few more times just to make sure she had read it correctly. She set the paper down next to the flower bouquet, though she continued to stare at it. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She almost thought she might've been dreaming, but it was all real. Sweeney really did confess his love to her. The love of her life, the man she had been so deeply in love with for years finally seemed to feel the same.
She rushed upstairs and knocked on Sweeney's door. "May I come in?" She asked. "Yes," He replied. She opened the door and walked in, immediately finding herself staring at him. How absolutely beautiful he was, she was completely captivated by him. How easy it was to get so lost in those dark, soulful eyes. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Lovett," She heard him say, breaking the silence. "I wasn't still getting ready, I was just staying up here because, well..." He paused for a moment. He appeared quite flustered. "Did you see what I left on the counter?" Nellie smiled and nodded. "I did," She said. "The flowers were absolutely beautiful! And the letter..."
She briefly paused, continuing to stare at him, and she could feel her emotions begin to swell inside of her. She rushed over to Sweeney and threw her arms around him, holding onto him as tightly as she could. "I love you, Mr. Todd!" She exclaimed, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I love you so much, I've always loved you!" Sweeney wrapped his arms around her, but he said nothing. "Did you really mean it all?" Nellie asked. "You really love me?" "I do." Sweeney replied. "I meant every word," The tears finally escaped from Nellie's eyes, and ran down her face. "Oh Mr. T, I've always dreamed that one day- I mean, well..." She laughed a little, then gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so weird, I'm just so happy!"
Sweeney gave her a kiss on the forehead. "You don't sound weird at all," He said. "I'm happy too, happier than I've been in so long, I..." His voice trailed off. "What?" Nellie asked. "I'm sorry, love," Sweeney mumbled. "It's just all so hard to express sometimes." "It's alright, dear," Nellie replied. "I'm just happy to know that you really love me." She found herself leaning in a little. "So does this mean we'll be together?" "Yes," Sweeney said softly. "I mean, if that's what you want." "Oh Mr. Todd, you know that's what I want!" Nellie responded excitedly. "That's what I've always wanted!"
Sweeney seemed to have such a bright look in his eyes, a look that she had seen before, but not often. For a while, happiness was a rare thing for him to express, though recently, it started to become more common, and he'd always get this adorable look on his face that Nellie absolutely loved, the same look that he had now. She could feel her heart racing. How she adored the way he was smiling at her now, and the love she could see in his eyes. She had always dreamed that he'd look at her this way, with such love and adoration, the way that she always looked at him. "I love you, Mr. Todd," She said with a smile. Sweeney didn't respond, though he did lean in closer to her. For a moment, Nellie was too shocked by this closeness to even form any coherent thoughts, but she quickly sorted her mind out, and spoke up. "May I?" "Yes," Sweeney replied.
Nellie kissed him, and he kissed back, caressing the side of her face, which was still wet from her tears. She could feel a few more spilling out of her eyes, the tears of pure joy. The complete, utter happiness she felt was overwhelming. Everything felt so nice and warm, she hoped that this feeling was one that she could hold onto forever. It felt as though everything else had entirely faded away, and all that mattered was him. It was just her and her dearest Sweeney, together at last. His arms tightened around her, and she felt like she could've melted right then and there. How safe she always felt within his embrace, how comforting it always was. How wonderful it felt to know that he was there, that he'd always be there.
It'd be the two of them forever and always. She'd get to spend all of her days by his side, sharing all the ups and downs, facing life together, the good and the bad. Even in the hardest of times, they'd have each other to turn to and confide in. They'd have each other to love and cherish forever. They'd get to share more soft and tender moments like this, and they'd one day look back on those moments and think fondly of them. She knew that this was only the beginning, and she was probably getting way too ahead of herself, but she was just so unbelievably happy. She couldn't help but think about spending her life with him. Whenever she thought of Sweeney, she thought of forever.
She pulled away, and for a brief moment, all either of them could do was stare. "Mrs. Lovett," Sweeney then spoke up. "My love, I..." His voice trailed off. He let go of her and rushed to his desk, quickly writing something down, then handing it to her.
Dear Mrs. Lovett,
I love you.
Love,
S. Todd
Nellie smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you too, Mr. T." She wrapped her arms around him once again. "I love you so much." Sweeney held her as tightly as he could, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "There's so much I want to say," He mumbled. "I would say it all, I just... I don't know, it's just difficult." "It's alright, dear," Nellie replied. "Just say whatever you can. As for the rest, you could continue to write letters." "That was my plan," Sweeney said. "Makes sense," Nellie responded, nodding. "You seem to be able to express your feelings quite clearly there."
She leaned her head on him. "I know we were planning on going for a walk, but do you think we could do that another time?" She asked. "I think I just wanna stay here with you." Sweeney gave her another kiss on the forehead. "That's fine by me." Nellie gave him several kisses on the cheek, then leaned her head on him again. It still almost felt completely unreal, and yet here she was, in the arms of her love, just taking in this wonderful moment. Finally, they were together. It was a dream come true.
Chapter Text
My dearest Mrs. Lovett,
Your love is truly the most wonderful thing I could ever ask for. I still don’t understand how I of all people am the one you love, but how lucky I am to be that person. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you, to have your affection, to be able to call you theirs. You have no idea how wonderful it feels to call you mine, and to be yours. You know I’ll be yours forever, my darling Mrs. Lovett. I struggle to explain the absolute joy I feel, even in writing. I am beyond happy to be with you. I truly meant what I said in my last letter, that I feel more alive than I have felt in so long. Everything feels so bright and warm again, I once thought I’d never experience such joy again. How great it feels to have been proven wrong. I love you, my dear. You know I always will.
Love,
S. Todd
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"Mrs. Lovett!" Nellie heard Sweeney's voice call out. She turned around and smiled as she saw him rushing down the stairs. "Hello there, Mr. Todd," She said. "What are you doing? I thought you were getting the shop ready." "I was, I'll be opening up soon, I just wanted to see you for a moment before work," Sweeney responded. "I also wanted to give you this." He handed her a folded piece of paper. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, for surely it was another letter. "Thank you, love," She said. "No need to thank me, it's just something I want to say," Sweeney responded. "Something I would say aloud if I could," He added.
"I don't know why it's so difficult. You'd think that just saying words wouldn't be so hard, it's just... I don't know, I guess I've just got so many thoughts and feelings, and so much that I'm still dealing with and working through. It's just so much." "Don't worry, dear. I understand," Nellie reassured. "Expressing feelings can be difficult sometimes, especially if they're particularly strong." "Yeah," Sweeney mumbled, nodding. "And they are quite strong. The amount that I admire you, it's just... It's a lot." Nellie smiled at him. "That's very sweet, love!" Sweeney smiled back at her. "I do try."
He glanced over at the stairs and sighed. "Well, I suppose I should open the shop now." "Alright, dear," Nellie replied. She held his hand and leaned in a little. "Just one last kiss before work?" The smile reappeared on his face, and he pulled her close. "Of course, love." He leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed back, holding onto him even tighter. She once again felt as though she could've melted right there in his arms, just as she always felt whenever he held her. He held onto her so tightly, yet his embrace felt so gentle, so comforting. How nice and warm it felt, just as always. She loved moments like this, she loved every soft little moment with him.
Even as the days continued to pass, she still couldn't fully believe that they were truly together, that he truly loved her at last. How overwhelmingly happy it made her to think about that. Now he wrote letters every day to express his affection, and how beautifully written they were. Even if he didn't say much out loud, she could tell just how much he truly meant every word. She did hope that one day, it'd become easier for him to express his feelings, but she didn't mind how things were now. In fact, she loved the letters. Even if he was saying things like that out loud, she'd enjoy the letters. He didn't let others see this side of him, but he really was quite the romantic deep down. As a hopeless romantic herself, Nellie loved this about him. Of course, there were many things she loved about him.
"Mum?" She heard a voice say. She quickly pulled away and turned around, noticing Toby standing before her and Sweeney. "Sorry to interrupt," He said awkwardly. "We're opening the shop soon, right?" Nellie laughed a little. "Yes we are." Toby nodded, then walked towards the tables, setting them up. Nellie turned to face Sweeney once again. "Alright then, love. I'll see you later." Sweeney nodded, then headed upstairs. She glanced at the balcony for a moment, watching until he was out of her sight. She then looked at the letter he had given her, and quickly unfolded it.
My dearest Mrs. Lovett,
Is it strange that I miss you during work hours? I know we live together, I know we see each other every day, I know it's only for a few hours, and we'll see each other again after work. For some reason though, I find myself missing you. I quite like my job, I'm sure you like yours too, yet it sometimes feels like the hours pass by so slowly, and I just can't wait to close the shop and rush downstairs to see you again. I imagine your smile as we run to each other, I imagine your warm embrace, and now I wish I could just take the day off from work and hold you all day. I can't wait to hold you again. I love you so much, Mrs. Lovett.
Love,
S. Todd
Nellie smiled, then rushed to her room to put the letter away. She had a case that she had been keeping Sweeney's letters in. She always loved seeing it grow as each day passed. "Mum, do you want me to put up the open sign?" She heard Toby ask. "Yes, dear," She replied. She set down the case, then rushed back out to the pie shop. It felt nice to know that Sweeney missed her during work too. She felt like she might've been a little dramatic, missing him when he was just upstairs. She couldn't help it though, she just loved having him around. She watched as some customers began to enter the shop, and sighed. It was time for work once again.
Chapter Text
My dearest Mrs. Lovett,
How I absolutely adore you. My love for you only grows with each passing day, and that truly is saying a lot, for I love you as much as one could possibly love anyone or anything. Every moment with you is the best moment of my life. Going on walks with you, talking to you, listening to you play that harmonium, those moments where we'll sit beside each other, and usually you're knitting and I'm reading a book. You'll sometimes glance over to see what I'm reading, and I pull you closer. I remember one time, you had fallen asleep right there, with your head on my shoulder. This was before I told you how I felt, but that night made me consider it. I stayed there, for I didn't want to wake you, and also because there was a part of me that couldn't help but want to stay. I couldn't admit even to myself how I felt then, but deep down, I knew. I knew I wanted to be with you, I knew I wanted to hold you every day. I swear, it's like I've got the world in my arms whenever I'm holding you, and I find such comfort within your warm embrace. I feel as though I could stay there with you forever. Whenever I'm with you, there's truly nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. I cherish every single moment, every day that I get to spend with you. Every long conversation, every quiet moment, every time we hold each other, every time we fall asleep on the sofa, every kiss, every time we'd dance in the middle of the pie shop, I treasure and adore it all. How I love all those times we'd dance, and then I'd twirl you around one last time before pulling you into a long kiss. I can't even begin to describe how it feels, it's even difficult through writing. The most I can say is that such moments feel so soft, so sweet, so gentle. I could kiss you over and over again, and never tire of it. And then after, we just stay there, holding each other tightly. I don't know how it feels to you, but for me, I feel as though I don't ever want to let go. It's almost as if I fear you'd somehow disappear if I let go of you. Do you feel this way too? Is that weirdly dramatic of me? I guess I just worry sometimes, after all I've lost. I don't want to lose you too, my heart couldn't bear it. I can't even stand the very thought of it. I hope I don't ever have to worry about that. I hope that it'll be you and me for the rest of our lives. I love you, Mrs. Lovett. I love you so, so much.
Love,
S. Todd
Chapter Text
My dear, sweet Mrs. Lovett,
I only just realised that I hadn't told you about the moment in which I had fallen for you. It was a while ago, the day that you had come up with the plan regarding our business partnership. We had danced and laughed, telling so many jokes back and forth. Honestly, it was a relief to know that your sense of humour is so similar to mine. I was always worried that I'd startle you with a dark joke. What a fun moment it was, spending all that time with you, without a care in the world. I had almost forgotten about all of my troubles, it was as if in that moment, they had all disappeared. It was like the whole world faded away, all that mattered was you, and the moment we were sharing. That was the first time I had felt genuinely happy in so long, and the first time I had really laughed in a while as well. Until then, I had forgotten what happiness felt like, I had forgotten what it was like to laugh at ridiculous jokes with a trusted friend. I enjoyed all the dancing too, I enjoyed every part of that moment. I believe that was the first time I had ever used any term of endearment for you as well. What a wonderful time that was, I still think fondly of it. I hadn't noticed it then, but that was when I fell for you, and I have loved you ever since. It's so strange to think of because back then, I had practically given up on love entirely. I didn't believe in it anymore, I could no longer see a world in which living happily ever after was possible. That moment had changed everything though, you changed everything. Even before then, your friendship and loyalty slowly made me start to believe in the good in this world again. You truly have changed my life for the better. How I've lived without you all these years, I'll never know. I love you, Mrs. Lovett. I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll always love you.
Love,
Sweeney Todd
Nellie smiled, and she felt as though her heart were soaring. He had really loved her for that long? She couldn't help but feel a little shocked, though she was extremely happy about it. She glanced over at Sweeney, who was seated at one of the tables across the room. "You've really loved me for that long?" "Yes," Sweeney replied softly. "Oh Mr. T, come here!" Nellie said excitedly. Sweeney got up and walked over to her, and she pulled him close. "So that was the moment you fell for me?" She asked. He wrapped his arms around her, holding onto her tightly. "Yes," He said. "I hope that's not too strange."
"Strange?" Nellie asked. "That was one of my favourite moments!" She exclaimed. "I'll cherish that moment forever!" "It was a nice moment, wasn't it?" Sweeney responded. Nellie nodded. "You wanna know the moment I fell for you?" She then asked. Sweeney nodded in response, though he said nothing. "It was a while ago, we were about sixteen or seventeen. I was wanting to get away from my parents for the day, my father was being especially difficult, so I went on a walk with you, but your older sister had to tag along. We slipped away from her though, and we went to the floral shop. I remember you asking me what my favourite flower was, and I told you. You immediately bought me some gillyflowers and daisies after I told you that I loved them. It felt nice, having someone who was so sweet and did nice things like that," She explained.
"A bit after that, the two of us, along with your sister, went back to your house, and you had written me a sweet little note, I'm sure I still have it somewhere. Anyway, we sat on the sofa together and talked for hours, but it had felt like no time passed at all. In fact, it had felt like the whole world had faded away, it was just you and me. Things got quiet, but not in an uncomfortable way. It was nice, just being there with you, taking in the moment. You had pulled me close, and I remember thinking about how there was nowhere else I'd rather be. I wound up falling asleep there, and instead of waking me up and telling me I needed to go home, you stayed with me the entire time. I remember my parents being angry with me the next day, but I didn't care. I had such a wonderful time with you, and I realised that I wanted more moments like that. I then found myself thinking of you for hours and hours, I couldn’t get you off of my mind. As I thought of you, I noticed just how much I truly adored you. I always knew you were someone I wanted in my life, but it was then that I started to notice all that I love about you, and from then on, I wanted it to be you and me forever."
Sweeney's eyes widened, he appeared quite surprised. "Oh," He mumbled. "You really loved me for that long?" "Yes," Nellie replied. "I have loved you from then on, for so many years, and for even more years to come." "I don't even know what to say," Sweeney muttered. "I mean, aside from falling asleep on the sofa seems to have just become a thing for us." Nellie laughed a little. "It sure has." Sweeney laughed along with her, though the laughter soon stopped, and she saw such an adorable look in his eyes, and a very sweet smile on his face. "I really can't believe you've loved me for that long," He said softly. "You've been my one and only for years," Nellie muttered. "You still are. You always will be."
Sweeney gave her a kiss on the forehead. "And you'll always be my one and only." His eyes widened in shock immediately after he spoke. "I..." His voice trailed off. Nellie was a little surprised as well, but happy nonetheless. She held him even tighter. "You said that out loud!" She exclaimed. "I did," Sweeney mumbled, still slightly in disbelief. "I mean, I did!" He then said. "I actually expressed something out loud!" "Oh Mr. T, I'm so proud of you!" Nellie said excitedly. "Thank you, Mrs. Lovett," Sweeney replied. "That means a lot." He gave her another kiss on the forehead. "And you know I meant every word I said, my love."
Nellie kissed his cheek, then leaned her head on him. "I love you." "I, uh..." Sweeney stammered. "You know I feel the same for you." "It's alright, say it aloud whenever you feel ready," Nellie said. "I will someday," Sweeney replied. Nellie smiled and closed her eyes, just taking in the warmth of his embrace and the beauty of this moment. He was still struggling to express himself, but today, he showed the first sign of fighting off those struggles. It was nice to hear him express such feelings out loud, and she was glad to see him so happy about it. She just hoped he knew that there was no pressure for him to figure this out quickly. Even if he never expressed himself aloud, she would always love him.
Chapter Text
My dear, sweet Mrs. Lovett,
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you.
I apologise for repeating this so many times in this letter. It just really frustrates me to no end that I can't seem to express everything out loud. It's like I can't speak without getting nervous, or even just completely standing there, frozen. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I just stand there, mortified. It's like there's something in my mind that stops me. I have so much inside my head and my heart that I plan to say, but then the moment I try actually saying it, I suddenly can't seem to figure out how to phrase it, my brain just mixes it all up until it sounds completely incoherent. You deserve to know just how in love I am though, I hope you do know that. How I adore you, my love. I would've written an I love you for the amount of times I had wanted to say it aloud, but that would've been far too many to fit into one letter, so please excuse the random amount that I have written. Mrs. Lovett, you have completely captivated me. You've unlocked a softer side of me, which had been buried deep down for so long. I used to think that I had lost that side of me entirely, that it was gone forever, never to return. Even back when I thought that though, I just couldn't help but have a soft spot for you. I suppose it's no surprise that I ended up falling for you. So much in my life has been difficult, but loving you certainly hasn't been. Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done, even if expressing that love hasn't always been easy. I really hope that someday, preferably soon, I can say it aloud. I wish you could hear it, I want you to hear it. I know how much it'd mean to you. I know you always say you're fine, and you always tell me you understand, and I'm so glad and relieved that you're so understanding, but I notice that look on your face whenever you tell me you love me, and I can't seem to say it back. Despite how much you understand, it still makes you sad deep down, and it pains me to see you like that. I'm so sorry I have all of these struggles. You deserve better than this, better than me. I wish I could be better, I really am trying to be. Until then, just reread the first few lines of this letter whenever you really want to know how I feel. In fact, you can reread all of my letters, since they express it in a way that I can't seem to express out loud. If you ever find yourself questioning my feelings, just go back to these letters, and know that I mean every word. I love you more than life itself, my darling Mrs. Lovett. Even if it takes me a while to say it aloud, please know that this is how I feel. I love you.
All my love,
Sweeney Todd
Chapter Text
My dearest love,
You've always told me that you'd stand by me no matter what. I hope I've made it clear just how much I appreciate that, how much I appreciate you. I know I haven't always been the best at showing that in the past, so I'm doing everything I can to show it now. I really do appreciate you. I will always be grateful to have you in my life. I've said so many times how lucky I am to be with someone as wonderful as you, and I'll say it again. I am so lucky to have you around, and to be the one who gets to spend all my days with you. I truly can't thank you enough for always being here for me. I want to do the same for you as well, I hope that's what I've been doing, and I hope I've been doing a good job at it. I want to brighten your days the way you brighten mine. I want to be your shoulder to cry on when you need one, I want you to know that you don't have to hide your pain from me. Whenever you need me, I'll be there. I want to provide you the same comfort that you have always given me. I hope you know that I'll always stand by you as well. I'll stand by you through it all, every high and low, on your best days and your worst days, I'll be right here for you no matter what. You don't ever have to worry about me leaving you behind when things get rough. I'm here to stay, my love. There's nothing that could pull me away from you, nothing that could break my complete, utter devotion. You are the love of my life, Nellie Lovett. Nothing in the world could ever change that. I'll love you forever.
All my love,
Sweeney Todd
Chapter Text
My dearest Mrs. Lovett,
Just writing this to tell you that I love you.
I love you so much, my sweet. I'll love you forever. I hope you never forget that. Every letter that you receive is an I love you from me. I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love your sense of humour, I love your kindness and compassion. I love how witty and clever you are, I love your passion for your interests and your dreams, and speaking of which, I love how much of a dreamer you are. I used to be confused and slightly annoyed by people who managed to remain so optimistic despite how terrible this world is, but it was different with you. In fact, I understand it a lot more now. I couldn't help but admire the hopefulness you had even when faced with hard times, it's very quickly become one of the many things I love about you. I love your ambition as well, the way you always chase your dreams and do what it takes to achieve them. I know it's lead you down a strange path before, but I don't mind. I mean, who am I to judge? I've seen your darker side too, I know what your practicality, which I also admire, can lead to, and I love it just as much as I love everything else about you. You never have to be afraid of showing me that side of you. Even in your worst moments, I love you. I love you for exactly who you are, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. I wouldn't change a single thing.
I love you.
All my love,
Sweeney Todd
Chapter Text
Nellie Lovett,
You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I really, truly mean it. I can't thank you enough for bringing such light and happiness back into my life. I once felt like there was nothing left of me, it was only pain, sadness, and rage. Suddenly, I remember what it's like to be so happy, to feel like maybe not everything is so terrible all the time, and you're the reason. A while ago, I had told myself that I'd never let anyone in ever again. Never again would I be so soft or vulnerable or naive, never again would I trust or open up to anyone. I couldn't help but trust you though, you've always been my closest friend. Despite what my cynical mind told me, my heart kept telling me to let you in, and I'm so glad I did. My worldview has become so pessimistic, you know that, so trusting no one was something I had tried to live by, but now, you're someone I trust so deeply. I know I can be myself around you without judgment, I know you'll understand me and be here for me, and it really means so much to me. I couldn't keep all of my emotions bottled up anymore, and I trusted you enough to open up about them. You were so sweet and understanding, and you continue to stand by me through it all. I had almost forgotten what it was like to bear my soul to someone without expecting pain. You've made me want to be soft again. You've made me want to be that sweet man that I once was. I know I'm not always the best at showing that side of me, but I hope it's clear for you to see. Your love has truly had such a great impact on me. With you, I feel like I don't have to hide at all. I trust you with my vulnerabilities, I trust you with my emotions, I trust you with my softer side. I was once so terrified to even admit that I had vulnerabilities and a softer side, I tried so hard to act like this tough, completely hardened man who was entirely numb. All of that has come crashing down though, and suddenly, I'm not afraid anymore. Well, I'm at least not afraid of you knowing. You already know me so well, better than anyone else. You were able to see past this cold facade that I had put up, you could somehow still see the good in me. That's another thing- You have seen me at my worst, and yet you continue to love me. I trust you with that side of me just as much as I trust you with my softer, sweeter side. You've seen it all, and I trust you with it completely. You've shown that you're someone I can trust, someone I can rely on, someone I know will be there. A while ago, I was in a self destructive spiral, and you pulled me out of it. I don't know if I've been good at showing just how much it means to me to be shown such kindness, such tenderness. Your compassion, your friendship, your love, all of it truly means the world to me, and it has made this process of healing my wounds so much easier. Every moment we spend together, I remember how it feels to be happy, I remember what it's like to not constantly be in pain. Thank you for everything, Nellie. For being here for me, for brightening my days, for easing the pain, for changing my life. I will always appreciate all of it.
I love you so much.
All my love,
Sweeney Todd
Chapter 10
Notes:
Just a heads up:
There are brief mentions of violence in this chapter.
Also, TW for a very subtle mention of suicidal ideation.
I changed the rating from general audiences to teen & up to account for this.
There might end up being more mentions of violence later on. After all, this is about Sweeney Todd, lol
Chapter Text
My dearest Nellie,
You know, one of the things that kept me from admitting how I felt sooner, and even caused me to keep my distance sometimes, was my fear of losing you. I had lost everyone else that I got close to, I figured it'd only be a matter of time before something happened to you too. I thought that maybe I could keep myself from getting attached, and then it would hurt less. Of course, I couldn't help but maintain this closeness with my dearest friend, and then I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you. I now know that it'd be even more painful if I never got to be with you. I'm happier than ever now that I'm with you. I'll never regret letting you know how I feel, I'll never regret what we've got now. This fear still remains though. That makes sense, I suppose. Who wouldn't be afraid of losing a loved one? This fear always haunts me though, it constantly plagues my mind. Sometimes I'm kept awake at night just worrying that I'll lose you. I'm so grateful for all the times that you've noticed my distress comforted me, your reassurance really does mean a lot. What a relief it is to know you're still here. You know I won't let a single thing harm you. If anyone hurts you, I swear I will make them pay. If anyone even tries to hurt you, I will make sure they suffer. You know I'll always stand by you and fight for you, my love. I'll always do everything I can to protect you. I'd fight for you, I'd die for you, I'd kill for you. I don't care how much blood I spill, I don't care if I myself end up completely broken and bloody, as long as you're safe. I'd do anything to keep you out of harm's way, even if it hurts me or others. I know you'll probably read this and be upset at the thought of anything happening to me. Don't you worry, dear, I'll make sure it doesn't come to that. If it does though, just know that being the one you love has been the greatest privilege, and if I had to give up my life earlier than I hoped, dying to protect you would be the ideal way to go. I really do hope it doesn't come to that though. I hope to live a long life by your side. I want to grow old with you. It feels somewhat strange to say that. I used to not care whether I lived or died, the only thing that kept me going was my desire for revenge. Now though, I find myself actually wanting to live again. I want to live, and I want to experience life with you. I hope to spend the rest of my days with you, and maybe one day, I'll reunite with Johanna, and we can raise her together. I must admit that Toby has grown on me a little bit as well, I hope I can be a better father to him than I have been. The four of us, just living our lives together. I actually like the idea of that. I hope that such a life is truly possible, that the darkness that seems to be everywhere I go will finally stop following me. I hope that I'll always be able to keep you close.
I love you so much, my dear.
All my love,
Sweeney Todd
Nellie glanced over at Sweeney and smiled. "Mr. T?" She said. "Yes?" He replied. "Is it strange that I find it so sweet when you threaten anyone who tries to harm me?" "Well, others might find it strange, but they'd find it strange that I said that at all," Sweeney responded. Nellie laughed a little. "I suppose we're not exactly normal by anyone else's standards." "Maybe not," Sweeney said. "But I don't mind." "I don't mind either," Nellie replied. "What matters most is that we understand each other." Sweeney nodded, but said nothing.
"Also, I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're not letting your fears stand in the way of us being together," Nellie said. "I mean, I truly do understand how scared you are. You know I'm terrified of losing you as well." "The very thought of anything happening to you is like a knife in the chest," Sweeney mumbled. "I..." He paused for a moment. "I can't believe I actually said that aloud!" Nellie smiled, though she stayed silent, for she could tell that he had more to say. "If I ever lost you, I... I don't even know what I'd do. My whole world would fall apart." "Don't you worry, dear. I'm not going anywhere," Nellie said softly, reaching out for his hand. Sweeney grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You don't know what life could throw at us," He said. "Maybe not, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Nellie responded. "Right now, we're together." "We're together," Sweeney repeated.
He pulled her close and held her tightly. Nellie wrapped her arms around him, and she briefly found herself staring, noticing that he was teary eyed. "It's alright, love," She muttered. "It'll be alright." "My darling Nellie," Sweeney said softly. "I mean every word, I really don't know what I'd do." He gave her a kiss on the forehead. "And I meant what I said in that letter too. If anyone even tries to hurt you, I'll make them suffer." Nellie gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled. She knew how odd it was for her to find his words so endearing, but she couldn't help it. She was also glad that he seemed comfortable enough to say it aloud. He always seemed so proud of himself whenever he managed to express himself out loud, and she found it absolutely adorable.
"I meant everything I said in this letter," Sweeney said, breaking the silence. "I mean everything I say in all of my letters." "I know you do," Nellie replied, giving him another kiss on the cheek. He opened his mouth to speak, but he quickly closed it again. "It's okay, dear," She said. "Whatever it is you're wanting to express, you can write it down." "It has to do with something I already wrote in this letter," Sweeney responded. "About our life together, and Johanna and Toby." Nellie nodded, recalling that part of his letter. It always made her happy whenever he mentioned wanting a life with her, and she was also thrilled to see that he was starting to warm up to Toby. "We'll all get that happy life together," She said. "Just the four of us." Sweeney smiled at her. She felt as though she could've melted, she always felt that way when he smiled at her. "Just the four of us," He repeated. "I like the sound of that."
Chapter Text
My dearest love,
I hope this doesn't seem strange, but during the nights where I've found it hard to fall asleep, I recall hearing you mutter to yourself, something about hoping I'd still love you even if you couldn't be everything I hoped you'd be. I don't know exactly what you meant, and you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I just want you to know that I will love you no matter what. I'll always love you, my dear. Nothing in the world could ever change that. Also, you're already everything I hope you'd be. I don't want you to be anyone other than yourself, your true self. I love you for exactly who you are. There isn't a single thing I'd change. I don't expect you to be someone you're not, I don't expect you to twist yourself into knots trying to be what others might expect. Who cares what anyone else thinks? I want you to feel safe, wanted, and loved. I hope I'm succeeding at that, I hope I'm able to make you feel that way. You are safe with me, I'll always do my best to provide you comfort, and defend you whenever you need defending. I'm here for you, and I always will be. You are wanted and loved too. There's no one else in this world that I want, no one else that I could even consider loving. You're all I want, my love. You're my one and only. Nothing will ever change that. You don't have to worry about something causing my love to fade, for my love for you is unconditional. I love you, Nellie. I love you for you, and I always will.
Forever yours,
Sweeney Todd
Chapter Text
My dearest Nellie,
You remember when I told you about that customer who brought his daughter with him? He came back to the shop today, and he brought his daughter again. I do struggle with talking to people, but I always try my best to be polite, and to not seem intimidating to others, so I engaged in some minor conversation. He said I that I seemed quite happy, more so than I was the last time he was here. I didn't talk excessively about it, but I might've let it slip that you're the reason for that. The little girl got all excited, and her father eventually had to stop her from teasing me over how in love I am. She also said that you're pretty, which I agree with, of course. You're absolutely beautiful, my dear. Anyway, like I said, I didn't say much, but as soon as you were mentioned, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. It was far too obvious that I was thinking of you. The entire time, I couldn't get you off of my mind, so now here I am, writing you this letter. I don't really know what else to say? I guess I just thought I'd let you know that I was thinking of you, and that you make me so happy. I'm always so overwhelmed with pure joy when I think of you, and especially when I remember that we're together. I want things to always be this way, for us to always be this happy and in love. I hope to spend the rest of my life with you. You and me forever, my love.
I love you, Nellie. I will love you forever and always.
Forever yours,
Sweeney
Chapter Text
Nellie's eyes opened wide as she heard a gasp. She glanced over at Sweeney, who was awake and breathing heavily. "Sweeney?" She mumbled tiredly. "Are you alright, dear?" He stared at her for a moment, then sighed. "I'll be fine," He replied. "I just..." His voice trailed off. "Are you sure?" Nellie asked. "If anything's wrong, you can talk to me." Sweeney pulled her close, though he said nothing. She noticed a tear rolling down his face. Suddenly, she had a feeling she knew what was wrong. "Was it a bad dream?" She asked. He nodded, still saying nothing. "I'm so sorry, dear," She said, wrapping her arms around him.
For a moment, everything was silent. Nellie reached out and caressed his face, gently brushing the tears away. He kissed her forehead, his embrace tightening around her. "I'm sorry for waking you," He said softly, breaking the silence. "I didn't mean to, I just..." He paused for a moment. "It's alright, love," Nellie replied. "You can always wake me whenever you have nightmares. I know how scary it can be." "How relieving it is that you're here," Sweeney muttered. "I woke up so terrified, worried that those horrible things I saw might've been real." "It was just a nightmare." Nellie said softly. "It's not real, I'm right here."
Sweeney took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, though he was still in tears. "I have nightmares often, I should be used to it by now," He said. "It was just so terrible." "Nightmares are always scary," Nellie responded. "Doesn't matter how many times you deal with them. It's perfectly reasonable to be so distraught." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I just want to reassure you that it was only a bad dream, nothing more." "Oh Nellie, I don't know what I'd ever do if..." His voice trailed off. "If what?" Nellie asked. "If I lost you," Sweeney mumbled. "It started out normal, the dream. I was in my shop, cleaning up after work. I went downstairs to see you, and..." He paused for a moment, once again trying to collect himself. "I found you lying on the floor, and there was so much blood. I didn't want to believe you were really gone, but you weren't breathing. There was no hope in saving you, you were just..." More tears rushed down his face. "You were gone."
For a moment, Nellie said nothing. She simply held onto him tighter, and gave him several more kisses on the cheek. "I'm right here, love," She then said. "None of that was real, I'm still here." "None of it was real," Sweeney muttered. "You're here and you're safe." He gave her a kiss on the forehead, then let go of her. "I'll be right back." He got up and walked towards the desk. Nellie watched as he began to write. She supposed he had something he wanted to say, but couldn't find a way to say it aloud. He had slowly started to become more comfortable with saying some things out loud. He had gotten a little bit better at expressing himself verbally, though he thought he was still bad at it. He still struggled though, especially if what he needed to express was something deep and emotional. He had always found it easier to write things like that down.
He walked back to her, handing her a piece of paper. "Here," He said. "I explain things in a little more detail here." Nellie took the paper, and he pulled her close once again, holding onto her tightly. She unfolded the paper and began to read.
My dearest Nellie,
What I saw in my dream was truly horrible, absolutely miserable. I've had nightmares like this before. I suppose my mind likes to find all sorts of ways to torment me. Maybe it's just because of all I've been through, and all the fears I have. Sometimes I have nightmares about my time in prison. It's like I'm back in that awful place, and I'm reminded of my suffering. I've had nightmares about all I've lost, and how easily I could lose what I've got now. Right now, my greatest fear above all else is losing you. I suppose that's why my brain will show me all the ways in which that could happen. Everything just felt so horrible. Those visions of you lying there dead, completely covered in blood, knowing there was nothing I could've done to save you, knowing that you might've called for help, and I didn't hear. All I could do was just cry. It was all so horrible. It was too much to bear- The pain of losing you, the sadness of it all, the tragedy of your whole life being stolen from you, the anger I felt towards whoever hurt you, wishing I could've stopped them, wishing I could've saved you, the guilt I felt for not being able to do anything, the guilt I felt for not expressing more when I still had the chance. You had died without ever hearing me say that I love you. I spent so long being unable to express myself, not telling you when I had the chance, and suddenly, it was too late. I kept wishing that I would've had it in me to say it aloud, to express any of my feelings aloud. I want you to hear all of this. I could only hope that you had my letters on your mind in your final moments. Even if I couldn't say it out loud, I hope you at least didn't die thinking I didn't love you. I hope that despite looking completely lifeless, you at least had enough life in you to hear me when I said it as I cried. I repeated it so many times- "I love you, Nellie. I love you so much." What a relief it was to wake up, to learn that none of it was real, and you were still here. You were safe and sound, you were still right here next to me. I'm still so shaken from that nightmare, but at the same time, it was so nice to wake up and see you. I'm so glad to be reminded that you're okay. Your life hasn't been tragically cut short, you still have a future, we still have a future together. I just hope things continue to go well, that nothing like those nightmares ever actually happen. I always worry that something will happen, and I'm completely powerless against fate. I can only hope that fate will finally be kind, and let us be happy. I suppose all I can really do for now is just be relieved that this time around, it was all in my head, it was something I could wake up from. The moment I opened my eyes, all I wanted to do was pull you close and hold on for dear life, as if you'd somehow vanish if I let go. I just needed to know you were here. Thank you so much for being here for me, for providing me the comfort I so desperately needed. You've always been so good at that, making everything better. Thank you for the reassurance, for allowing me to pour out my emotions the best I can, for holding onto me. I hope to keep you close forever. I hope we never have to let go. I suppose this is as much as I need to say for now. I just want to hold you again.
I love you so much, Nellie. I hope you always remember that.
Forever yours,
Sweeney
Nellie set the letter down on the nightstand, then wrapped her arms around Sweeney, giving him a few kisses on the cheek. "Don't you worry, love," She muttered. "I'm not going anywhere." She noticed tears running down Sweeney's face once again. "Nellie," He said softly, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "My love, my sweet..." He gave her a few more kisses. "You're here, you're really here," He mumbled. "I won't ever let you go, dear. I promise you, Nellie, I'll hold on forever. I won't let anything happen, I won't let anyone hurt you." For a moment, Nellie wasn't really sure how to respond. She was focused on Sweeney's words, surprised that he said all that out loud. Such deep and emotional things were usually only expressed through letters. Every now and then, he'd say something really sweet and emotional like this, but it was something he was still working on.
She smiled and held onto him tighter. "I'll always be right here, love," She reassured. "I got you." Sweeney gave her a few more kisses, continuing to cry. "I don't wanna lose you," He muttered. "Please, can life be kind for once?" "You won't lose me," Nellie said softly. "I promise you, love, I'll always be around." "You don't think anything will happen?" Sweeney asked. "Neither of us can be certain about what life has in store," Nellie responded. "But I think it's best to focus on the fact that we're both here now, and we're together, and as long as I'm around, I'll be by your side."
She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I get scared too, you know. I worry more often than I let on, fearing that something will happen, terrified that I'll lose you. I've learned that what helps me is just taking deep breaths, reminding myself that those are all hypotheticals, and the reality is that we're together, and that's what matters. None of those fears and what if's are real, what's real is what we've got now. I remind myself that you're here with me, and I feel so grateful. I let myself know that it's best to just live in the moment. I can't predict where life will take us, so I'm going to spend as much time with you as I can. I'm going to savor every moment I get to spend in your company. That's what truly matters, being here with you now."
Nellie found herself starting to cry a little. "I've found that a good cry can also be helpful," She said, giggling through the tears. "It's okay to cry, love. You don't ever have to feel ashamed." "Can you hand me the letter?" Sweeney asked. Nellie nodded, grabbing the paper and handing it to him. He pointed at the line that read, "I love you so much, Nellie." "I love you too, Sweeney," She said with a smile. "I love you so, so much." He gave the letter back to her, and she set it back on the nightstand. "You should go back to sleep now, dear," She said. "You need the rest." Sweeney nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Thank you for being here," He said softly. "I'm so glad you're here." "I'll always be here for you," Nellie replied. She leaned in a little. "Goodnight kiss?"
Sweeney nodded, leaning in and kissing her. She kissed back and held onto him even tighter. How she loved such tender moments like this, and it was nice to know that she was able to help him calm down at least a little bit. Who knew if the nightmares would ever go away, but at least for now, they had vanished. All that mattered was that they were together, that he was there by her side, and that he knew she'd always be there for him. She felt so safe and warm there in his arms, she hoped he felt that same safety and warmth.
She pulled away and smiled. "Goodnight, my love," She said. "You know I'll always be right here. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled back at her. "I'm not going anywhere either." "I love you, Sweeney," Nellie said softly. "You know I feel the same for you," Sweeney responded, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I adore you, Nellie," He muttered. "My dear, sweet Nellie." Nellie's heart skipped a beat. "I think that's the first time I've heard you say that aloud." She said. "You know I adore you too. I always will." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, love." "Goodnight, dear," Sweeney replied. Nellie closed her eyes, continuing to take in the warmth of his embrace, so happy to be there with him. Soon enough, she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Text
My dearest Nellie,
I want to thank you again for being here for me. It means so much to me that you're even here at all. I know that I deal with so much, I know I'm not always particularly easy to love, but somehow, you stick around. You really do make me feel loved, I hope I do the same for you. I'm so glad to have you by my side. It's always such a joy to wake up in the morning and see you there next to me, especially when the nightmares are bad. Just seeing you there, knowing that you're alright, is a comfort on its own, though I also adore your comforting words. You always seem to know exactly what to say to make things better. Your presence alone makes my whole world so much brighter. I really don't know what I did to deserve someone so wonderful. I often find myself wondering how you could possibly love someone like me, but I truly am so glad that of all the people in the world you could've loved, it's me. I'll always feel so lucky to be with you, to be the one you love. How lucky I am to be able to call you mine. You know I'll always be yours, you'll always have my heart, you'll always be the one I love. Nothing in the world could ever change that. Nothing could ever rid me of this adoration, this love that I feel for you. I love you, Nellie. I'll love you forever.
Forever yours,
Sweeney
Chapter Text
My dearest Nellie,
Something quite strange happened earlier. Not strange in a bad way, it was just interesting, I suppose. One of my customers was talking to me, he had mentioned his wife or something. If I'm being entirely honest, my mind was elsewhere for part of the conversation. Hilariously enough, he then said something about how he sometimes gets distracted during work because he's thinking of her. I told him I understand what that's like, since I often think of you. I had intended to leave it at that, but I always prove myself unable to shut up once you're mentioned. Anyway, the man had assumed that you were my wife. A bit odd considering there's a sign right outside of your shop that refers to you as Mrs. Lovett. I corrected him, but I didn't mind the assumption. You know, I once thought I'd never remarry, that I'd never want to remarry. Of course, I had also once thought I'd never love again at all. Interesting how that turned out. Anyway, I don't intend to rush into marriage, but I can't deny that I quite like the thought of marrying you eventually. I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do you remember the times that people assumed we were married, and they called you Mrs. Todd? I remember how happy that made you, it was adorable. I’ll admit that I love the way it sounds- Nellie Todd. I've thought of this a few times, more often than I've admitted to. Again, I don't want to rush anything, but I will say: I'd be so happy to someday be able to call you my wife.
I'll love you always, my future Mrs. Todd. (I'm sorry, I just love how it sounds)
Forever yours,
Sweeney
