Chapter Text
Deuce liked to think he and Yuu were friends. After facing Overblotting housewardens and Phantoms together, they had to be right?
Even after they saved his anemoned ass from his poor life decisions, Yuu and him and Grim and Ace still had study sessions like good, class-attending, rule-abiding honor students did. They shared notes and helped him survive the pop quizzes and even normal quizzes he needed to keep better track of. They helped out with Heartslabyul chores and he helped them with some Ramshackle repairs and whatever old appliances they dug out from storage. They all shared a lunch table, and sometimes the four of them would just to hang out with cards and idle talk and whatever snack was on sale at Sam's. All that had to count for something.
He still didn't think they were this close though.
Yuu didn't have the smile they had when they joked. They looked dead serious, and they had a terrible poker face, so this probably wasn't a prank.
"Can you uh, say that again?"
Across the couch, Yuu inhaled sharply. They looked away, upwards, as they did sometimes, as if seeking guidance from the skies (or maybe to divine the water damage patterns on Ramshackle's ceiling, in this case). They sighed and looked at him again.
"Deuce," Yuu said calmly, or trying to sound calm, "would you like to attend my wedding?"
Okay. So he did hear them right.
Yuu looked at him, looking more embarrassed, actually looking red-
"Deuce, it's a yes or no question, please don't make me ask again-"
"Oh uh- Sure? I guess? I mean- yeah, yes I'd go to your wedding!. . . but isn't it kinda early to be thinking about that kind of-"
Now, between the two stress responses, Deuce much preferred fight. Talking with fists for the survival of the fittest was simple, and flight the coward's way out. . . but if he were more predisposed to running, perhaps he wouldn't have become as much of a heartache to his dear mother as he did. So it would likely be better to run sometimes. But years of finding running to be deplorable, to be a show of weakness, don't just disappear like smiling cats; and so upon seeing a tall, dark figure suddenly loom above his friend, his first inclination was-
-Well his first act was to pull Yuu out of the way. It was unfortunately rough, he basically yanked them to the ground-
But his second was to punch the thing, and so his fist sailed through the air-
It kept sailing through cold air as it passed through the pale, wide-eyed face.
Shit.
Deuce reeled back to make some space and grab his pen-
"Deuce, no cauldrons indoors!"
He froze at Yuu's sharp tone, but didn't glance back, because that's how you get distracted and decked in the noggin. His brain still spun though, torn between snapping back with a What or a Run and how he couldn't think of any spell but cauldrons now but then the guy was moving towards him so he had to-!
It breezed past him and the arm he raised as a guard.
"Yuu, are you alright?! "
Deuce stared as Yuu shooed away the stranger and got up, dusting themself off. "I'm fine. Guess it worked-"
Deuce pulled Yuu behind him when the stranger neared. They stumbled, but stayed standing.
The stranger frowned. "Could you perhaps handle them less roughly?"
"He was just surprised-"
"Yuu. What's happening?"
Yuu put a hand over Deuce's good arm, and slowly pushed it down, his pointed pen with it.
"Deuce," they said slowly, calmly. "This is. . .this is my uh. . . .he's. . . God I'm gonna have to explain this every time, aren't I?"
"You managed it with Grim," the stranger said encouragingly.
"That was Grim! He thought marriage was like a cake to eat!"
"Well, weddings do have cakes . .would you like me to-"
Yuu groaned and hung their head, which meant it bumped into Deuce's back, and that did not help how statue-stiff and warm-faced he was because their arm was still on his in a kind of half-hug from behind. Somehow, he managed a "You- you okay? Yuu?"
They mumbled into his jacket.
"What?"
Yuu made another miserable sound and peeled themself off him. They trudged over to the stranger, and while holding a hand up as though presenting a blackboard diagram, said, "Deuce, this is my fiancé. . .maybe."
Deuce blinked. Stranger was still there. Yuu was still there. The stranger took Yuu's raised hand, and kissed its fingertips.
Yuu shot the guy a look.
"Oh. I'm sorry-" he didn't look very sorry- "I thought you might have scraped your fingers when you fell-"
"YOU'RE MARRYING THIS GUY?! "
"No."
"Oh heavens no!"
"But you're engaged," Deuce said, looking between the two, squinting though it might reveal how to connect the confusing puzzle pieces before him.
"We think we're engaged."
"I thought-" Deuce turned to Yuu, "I thought you came from another world?!"
"I did."
"Then- when did- how did-?!"
Yuu slumped into the couch. "I wish I knew."
"Don't we all," said the stranger, Yuu's fiancé-
"When I arrived at Ramshackle," Yuu said. "I could see him. Apparently no one else alive could, and everyone dead barely did. We've looked through the books and asked the other ghosts. The only real theory we have right now is Ghost Marriage."
"So you are marrying?"
"Perish the thought!"
"No."
Deuce sunk into the other end of the couch. "I- just- just give me a- . . .did you say Ghost Marriage?"
"Well. Ghost Engagement."
The fiancé nodded. "Aspiring spectral spouses-to-be can have a grace period to win over their partners! Most just tend to make it short as-"
"No I mean, he's a ghost? He's dead?" That explained being unable to land a punch, but he had greater concerns right now. "You're engaged to a dead guy?!"
The ghost smiled cheerily. "I'm fairly certain I'm dead, yes."
He turned to Yuu. "And you're fine with this?!"
"What am I supposed to do? Exorcise him?"
"Break up with him?!" Deuce blurted. He looked at the stranger "No offense-"
"Oh no, none taken! Ghost Marriages are rather dangerous things. If we're ever joined in holy matrimony and our union's sealed with a kiss, Yuu here will end up spirited to the other side whether they want it or not!"
"You'll what?!"
Yuu crossed their arms. "It's fine, we're not smooching on the lips or having a ceremony, my soul's staying in the land of the living, thank you very much-"
A spidery, gloved hand gave their head some quick pat. "And I'd quite like it to stay that way! Yuu here's helping me to remember who I am, you see."
". . .okay," Deuce said. It was not okay. Something about this seemed very not okay and neither was how unbothered Yuu seemed to be about it.
"So you two are engaged;" he began-
"Probably? " Yuu shrugs. "It's the only explanation we've got, and the wedding invitation working twice means it probably wasn't a fluke. . . engagement might've been though. We still don't know how that happened."
"Shame, that," said the specter as it shamelessly draped itself over Yuu's shoulders.
Deuce peered at them both. "You are engaged to some dead guy who doesn't know who he is. . .and you don't want to get rid of him."
Yuu looked flatly at him. "Deuce, he was here before me. I'm not exorcising a guy from his house."
The ghost crossed his arms. Or hugged Yuu. It was a little hard to tell. "Not for lack of trying! We found a severence ceremony for ghostly courtship, but seeing as we don't know what initiated the engagement, we couldn't break it off."
"Alright," Deuce said. "And why exactly are you telling me this? Did you want me to help look for his memories?" Or find something to get rid of him. Or-
Yuu smiled. "I'd appreciate that, but mostly I just wanted some confirmation that I wasn't crazy and that the ghosts here weren't playing some long con on me. Figured if I told Ace he'd be more of a jerk about it. Then he'd just tease me about it forever."
. . .yeah he could see that. Deuce could see how Yuu being surprise engaged was kinda funny, but he wasn't gonna tease them about it. It was a nice thought, in a way, to think that Yuu liked him more than Ace. Or that Yuu just trusted him enough to- wait-
"Is he the reason why Grim volunteered to help out at Heartslabyul?"
Yuu gave their ghost a look.
This time, the specter actually looked sheepish. "I may have. . .gotten a bit too excited that he could see me-"
"He lifted Grim in the air and spun him snuggled him and smooched him all over his face," Yuu said simply.
Deuce stared at the ghost and his crusty lips, then slid closer to the end of the couch.
The ghost sighed and its neck bent at an impossible, spine-snapping angle to lay its head upon Yuu's. "You're the only one who loves me."
"I'm the only one who can see you. . .Was the only one who could see you. There weren't many options."
He grinned. "I'm not hearing a no."
"You're incorrigible," Yuu lamented, but smiled the way they did when they looked up sometimes, only now Deuce could see what they had been looking at all this time.
He coughed, and they both turned to him.
"So to be clear. . .there's no actual wedding?"
"Nope!"
. . .guess that meant he didn't have to get a suit. . . he felt strangely disappointed. It must have shown (his poker face sucked too), because Yuu let out a laugh as they slid over to pat his back.
"Hey, if I'm stuck here and I get married for real, you'll be the first person I invite, okay?"
". . .yeah?"
"Yeah!" Yuu beamed. "You can even be best man."
Deuce smiled back.
The face over Yuu's shoulder also smiled back.
"How touching!" swooned the ghost, hands clasped together beneath his chin.
Deuce couldn't scooch back any further, but Yuu noticed the guy and moved back to their end themself. The ghost followed, still floating over their shoulder.
"Is he always like that?"
"Oh no, he's usually clingier."
"Yuu! " the ghost gasped. "You'll make a poor soul roll in his grave! "
"Oh so you care when people can see, then?"
"I care when merely standing behind you warranted being punched in the face! It was unpleasant. And you're making it sound like we're doing something scandalous! I assure you, Mister Spade, I've done nothing untoward to your friend-"
"Isn't sharing a roof as an ummarried couple scandalous?"
"Well, we can't help that. . .do you want to try the salt again-"
"So you can pretend you're melting like a slug? No way!"
The ghost giggled. "You were so worried-"
"I thought I killed you!"
"Well you didn't. Not then at least." The ghost grinned at Deuce. "Oh yes, we've another theory that Yuu murdered me and was so overcome by regret that they forgot the whole ordeal!"
"That's melodramatic. And messy."
"I'd say it's quite the passionate, romantic way to go! But I digress. I do think dear Yuu here couldn't possibly be a killer. If anything they'd be a victim! Isn't that right?"
Yuu pouted and raised two fingers at the ghost's head. "Bang."
The ghost chuckled, but then frowned at them more seriously, standing as he wagged a finger and started gesturing all about.
"Really though, Yuu," the ghost chided, "you should be more mindful of yourself! Especially since you keep getting into trouble! Three overblots- can you imagine? And you were there for every single one! I don't even recall seeing a single Overblot my whole life!"
Yuu rolled their eyes. "You don't remember anything-"
"I know it isn't normal! " the ghost insisted. "It's a miracle you've come out so unscathed! Speaking of which-"
The ghost turned to face Deuce and bowed at the waist. "Thank you for looking out for Yuu, truly."
"It's. . . I didn't really-"
"You shoved me out of the way of one of Riddle's axes," Yuu said. "And Leona's lion-thing's claws. And dragged me into your air bubble in Octavinelle when mine popped-"
"And I am so glad you did! I can't easily leave Ramshackle, you see. Makes it quite frustrating to be a good friend or fiancé or whatever-I-am to Yuu."
"Oh uh, happy to help?"
The ghost beamed. "And I'm delighted to meet you properly, Deuce Spade! You've a lovely name and lovely spirit! "
". . .thanks?"
He leaned forward and Deuce thought he was going to bow again, but a hand shot out and had his and before he knew it-
Deuce stared at his kissed hand as the ghost glided over to Yuu. He processed the act, then turned to Yuu. They only shrugged.
Deuce wiped his hand and the cold, lingering feeling off the couch fabric as discreetly as he could. "Nice to meet you too erm. . .I'm sorry, what's your name?"
The ghost raised a finger and opened his mouth-
Then closed it with a thin-lipped smile, finger curling.
"Yeah, still working on that," Yuu said.
"Can I help with anything?" Deuce asked.
"We've been trying to go through the old things around here for clues." said the ghost. "But we've only one body between us. It would be lovely if you could help, but no rush! You've both got academics and your own lives to deal with, after all."
"He's very chill about it," Yuu nodded.
"School is hellish enough without helping some old spirit find his misplaced memories. . .and handling Overblots. . .even if nothing comes up, I'll manage on my own. I've done it so far."
The spirit smiled patiently, and Deuce looked at ghost guy who looked very much like some normal living guy aside from the suit.
"Have another question, Deuce?"
"Oh just- you don't look like a ghost?"
The specter beamed, straightening up. His feet stayed planted on the ground though, as it had been, instead of floating. "I try!. . .pity it wasn't enough to sway you into a friendlier hello."
Deuce winced. "Sorry about that. You kind of popped up out of nowhere."
"Is that how it looked? "
Yuu hummed. "Maybe you should walk in next time? If somebody suddenly appeared behind Deuce, I'd probably get jumpscared too."
"Or, " said the ghost, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "I could stay behind you and we can see how high Ace can jump."
Yuu frowned. "Grim might have snitched by now though."
"Would Ace believe him?"
Yuu turned to Deuce. "Would Ace believe you if you played dumb?"
"Ah yes. This would be much more fun with an accomplice, wouldn't it? Deuce! How well can you act?"
Not very well, it turns out, but Ace thought Grim a liar, and so he practically shot out the couch when the ghost appeared like some shambling, melting monster behind Yuu, and for a moment, Deuce understood why Trey liked tricking them so much.