Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

USERNAMES

wing slut/InacentAbe - abe

scary bitches #1 fan - joan

g-spot - gandhi 

slut/firechillbro - jfk

queen cleo 👑 - cleo 

lesbianfailure - frida

hamilton liker  - harriet

confusayzz421 - confucius

top_her69 - topher 

THIS CHATFIC CONTAINS:

joanfucius (joan x confucius)

jfabe (jfk  x abe)

kahlopatra (cleo x frida) 

Chapter Text

GROUP CHAT NAME: THE CH SQUAD ⭐️ 

wing slut has added scary bitches #1 fan to the group chat

wing slut has added queen cleo 👑 to the group chat

wing slut has added g-spot to the group chat

wing slut has added slut to the group chat

wing slut has added hamilton liker to the group chat

wing slut has added confusayzz421 to the group chat

wing slut has added lesbianfailure to the group chat

wing slut has added top_her69 to the group chat

wing slut: annnddd there we go! 

wing slut: hey everyone! 

scary bitches #1 fan: waut what

scary bitches #1 fan: why

scary bitches #1 fan: we already deal with enough drama at HS why do we need a gc 

confusayzz421: bro said "annnd there we go! 🧏‍♂️"

slut: HAHAHA

slut: Wait wait a second

slut: what the hell change my name back

slut: Abe why 

wing slut: We're twinning! ❤️

slut: ok 

slut: can we twin later

wing slut: Okay...

wing slut: you can change ur name in here yknow

slut: Mhmmmm

slut has changed their name to firechillbro 

firechillbro: That's better..

wing slut has changed their name to InacentAbe

queen cleo 👑: wait who made this 

queen cleo 👑: oh abe did okay....

g-spot: WASSUPPPP

g-spot: wait what is this gc for again

InacentAbe: just a place for us to talk and update each other. Nothing special really 😊

hamilton liker: ooh i could get used to this

hamilton liker: amino chatrooms paid off tbh

lesbianfailure: please censor am*no 

hamilton liker: SORRY am*no 

scary bitches #1 fan: funny how topher hasnt said a single thing yet

top_her69: I'm busy. 

scary bitches #1 fan: ahhh i see 

InacentAbe: BTW...just wanted to remind everyone we're supposed to be working on the group project today! if we all stay focused, we won't take long! 👍

hamilton liker: ooh yes!! we only have like a week before it's due. let's divide the work.....i made a doc!! 

g-spot: is it a doc that's not boring 

scary bitches #1 fan: it's a fucking doc 

confusayyzz421: [sends an image] me logging in to do exactly nothing 

top_her69: Excuse me. But what is the project even about?

firechillbro: the water system i think

queen cleo 👑: pls don't tell me we have to talk about moisture its a gross word

hamilton liker: CAN WE PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC 😭

InacentAbe: Okay, okay. let's refocus. if we all take a section--- harriet can do precipitation, i'll do evaporation, gandhi can do condensation, cleo and frida can work on collection, and jfk can maybe. Help with visuals?

firechillbro: got ya. making the Canvas rn 🔥🔥🔥

[JFK names the Canva "The Moist Boys explain the Water System."]

scary bitches #1 fan: jack

g-spot: PERFECT

queen cleo 👑: we are NOT putting Moist Boys on our science project 

lesbianfailure: helpme 

hamilton liker: no one is putting "moist boys" on the project this is a GRADE

top_her69: I think this conversation could go better if we all settled on a name. 

InacentAbe: Guys. please. just add at least something to the doc

InacentAbe: I even put pictures! 

hamilton liker: real....you guys dont understand how painful it is to care this much

g-spot: i get it. but also what's the point if we're all gonna die from climate change anyway

InacentAbe: Okay let's all stay on topic

[7:47 PM]

scary bitches #1 fan: okay im gonna take a break rq before my brain melts from working too much

InacentAbe: Okay! just dont forget we're 80% done though we just need the conclusion and visuals

hamilton liker: pls dont bail on us joan pleaseee

scary bitches #1 fan: i will literally be back in 5 mins

scary bitches #1 fan: i juat need to relax 

scary bitches #1 has gone offline

[at this point in...everyone else is offline as well except for JFK and Abe.]

firechillbro: Heya 

InacentAbe: hey! 

firechillbro: so uh ive been wanting to talk about something 4 a while

firechillbro: and maybe it's dumb as hell or whatever but

InacentAbe: oh is it about the slideshow? it's coming along pretyy great! 😁

firechillbro: no not the slideshow

firechillbro: i mean. about ys 

firechillbro: *us sorry

InacentAbe: What 

firechillbro: yeah like...ur just really cool and u always try hard and care abt ppl and u say "Thank you" when i do dumb stuff and it makes me feel all. I don't know. queazy inside 

firechillbro: And I like how longer ur hair has gotten and how it's all messy...and when you forget to brush it it's kind of cute LMAO

InacentAbe: Oh, haha! yeah I've been forgetting lately. 😅 

firechillbro: And the rhing is I really like you, Abe. 

InacentAbe: Oh...well, I like you too!

firechillbro: REALLY?

InacentAbe: Yeah! I value our friendship together. always! You're such a neat person, honestly. how could anyone not wanna be friends with you? 

firechillbro: oh thats what you meant

InacentAbe: Hey RQ should I add a chart? I think those enhance projects or whatever 

firechillbro: a chart huh

firechillbro: I just told you i liked you and you hit me with "i should make a chart" 

InacentAbe: Is...what i said not a good thing? 

firechillbro: oh no its fine really

firechillbro: Sorry that i'm weird

InacentAbe has gone offline

scary bitches #1 fan is online

scary bitches #1 fan: what did i miss. what happened here 

firechillbro has gone offline

scary bitches #1 fan: oh god

scary bitches #1 fan: i see where the problem lies now

Chapter Text

[10:21 PM]

lesbianfailure: we did it. its finally over 

lesbianfailure: i can finally sleep 😭🙏 before my dad finds out ive been awake this entire time

confusayzz421: weak

confusayzz421: i be up until 3 am most of the time

scary bitches #1 fan: its literally a school night what is wrong w you

confusayzz421: everything!!!! 

scary bitches #1 fan: dork

scary bitches #1 fan: maybe it'd be easier if i came over and slept w you

confusayzz421: PLEASEEE

scary bitches #1 fan: jokingggg joking its late

InacentAbe: For what it's worth, this was a really good project team! you all did great. 😊

hamilton liker: no bc seriously we ate that up kinda

g-spot: this better get us an A fr 

scary bitches #1 fan: you barely did shit cmon now

g-spot: i did do shit. you just didnt see it 

hamilton liker: I'll make my mom read it in the morning. if she says it's good, it's getting an A 

queen cleo 👑: im too pretty to get bad grades so it's FINE 

lesbianfailure: real talk though im on the verge of collapsing

lesbianfailure: like im lit typing this with one eye open rn im half asleep

confusayzz421: weakkk

top_her69: Good night everyone. 

g-spot: goodnight to you too ig???

InacentAbe: Goodnight everyone!!! 😴 you all did amazing today!!!!

confusayzz421: nighty night 🫶 

queen cleo 👑: sleep tight frida <3

lesbianfailure: <3 gn babe 

scary bitches #1 fan: get a room

hamilton liker: you're the one dating confucius.....

scary bitches #1 fan: okay fair

[1:37 AM]

Private Chat: firechillbro & scary bitches #1 fan 

firechillbro: Hey Joan

firechillbro: you awake?

scary bitches #1 fan: no

scary bitches #1 fan: i am literally Not awake

scary bitches #1 fan: u just woke me up out of my sleep

firechillbro: srru srry i just

firechillbro: couldn't sleep....

firechillbro: jus' thinking about stuff 

scary bitches #1 fan: did you have a bad dream or something 

firechillbro: NO

firechillbro: its about abe 

scary bitches #1 fan: ...ok you have 5 minutes go

firechillbro: i just

firechillbro: IDK what to do anymore

firechillbro: I try everything

firechillbro: i compliment his hair

firechillbro: i help him with stuff

firechillbro: we have sleepovers all the time!!!

firechillbro: But he just. DOESN'T. see me

firechillbro: and hes so NICE about it too

firechillbro: "Oh wow thanks JFK you're such a great friend!" FRIEND. 

scary bitches #1 fan: ooohhh that sounds familiar 

firechillbro: You liked him forever back in 2002 and even before that. HOW did you survive that

scary bitches #1 fan: barely. i tried my hardest to get his attention but it just wouldn't work because he was so infatuated with cleo

scary bitches #1 fan: and he ended up going with her on prom night anyway. it hurt but its over now and im dating confucius but still. it wasnt a fun era

scary bitches #1 fan: listen

scary bitches #1 fan: abe is like.....hopelessly earnest. he doesn't pick up on hints unless u write it out and read it out loud 3 times

firechillbro: ok but what do i DO

firechillbro: i feel like if i just tell him he'll think im a freak or something 

scary bitches #1 fan: ok heres the deal

scary bitches #1 fan: if you want him to know, you HAVE to be clear

scary bitches #1 fan: not like, "haha ur so cute bro"

scary bitches #1 fan: like "i like you. romantically. like LIKE like you. do you like me back?" 

firechillbro: hmmmmmmmmmm

firechillbro: But what if he says no

scary bitches #1 fan: if he says no you'll be sad for a while obviously

scary bitches #1 fan: but then you'll move on. because ur literally jfk and someone else will fall for your dumb greaser ass eventually

scary bitches #1 fan: trust me

firechillbro: do you think he'd say yes

scary bitches #1 fan: honestly? idk just dont ambush him during class or smth 

scary bitches #1 fan: pick a chill moment like going on a walk with him

firechillbro: Ok

firechillbro: yeah Ok

firechillbro: thank you joan

firechillbro: srry about how our relationship went

scary bitches #1 fan: its fine we both kinda sucked

scary bitches #1 fan: now never text me at 1 am again unless someone or you is on fire

scary bitches #1 fan: i am going back to SLEEP

firechillbro: yeah yeah gn joan 

scary bitches #1 fan: nighty nighttt. and just tell him before i do it for you

firechillbro & scary bitches #1 fan has gone offline 

Chapter Text

[11:27 AM]

InacentAbe: GUYS

InacentAbe: OUR GRADE IS IN

InacentAbe: WE GOT AN A+ 😭😭😭🌈! 

hamilton liker: OH MY GOD

hamilton liker: ur fucking w me

hamilton liker: A+++???

InacentAbe: Well yeah....technically 

InacentAbe: The group got an A+ 

InacentAbe: Except for one person...

queen cleo 👑: 🙁

queen cleo 👑: i already know where this is going

queen cleo 👑: GANDHI

g-spot: hey guys 🙏🏾

InacentAbe: Everyone else got an A+ 

InacentAbe: Gandhi got a C 

InacentAbe: The teacher said "minimal contribution"

firechillbro: LMFAO

firechillbro: HOW DO YOU GET A C ON A GROUP PROJECT THAT GOT AN A+

firechillbro: YOU HAD ONE HOB

firechillbro: *JOB

confusayzz421: hob 

firechillbro: Die. 

g-spot: i was spiritually present 

hamilton liker: What does that even MEAN

g-spot: i was like cheering everyone on from the sidelines moral support is important 

lesbianfailure: you lit disappeared halfway through the project to watch tv or something

lesbianfailure: said "i'll be back in a bit" and dipped completely

g-spot: ok so i MAY have gotten a little distracted 

g-spot: guys they literally had spongebob on 

hamilton liker: it was almost midnight. nick at nite would've been on by then

queen cleo 👑: i cannot believe you fumbled a free A likw how do you even do that 

queen cleo 👑: its impressive actually

g-spot: thank you 🫡🫡🫡🫡

confusayzz421: bro acting like he won an award 😭

firechillbro: Congrats on being the only person alive who could fail a group effort carried by 6 people

hamilton liker: no wonder he wanted to go last when we were assigning slides

hamilton liker: he didn't even make a slide he just went "next" 

InacentAbe: To rephrase, the teacher specifically wrote in the notes: "Gandhi's only participation appeared to be clicking 'next' in the slideshow." 

scary bitches #1 fan: i csnt 

g-spot: ok wrll

g-spot: lesson learned, next time i will contribute to at least ONE slide 

InacentAbe: But anyway! good work team! ❤️🌈

[3:56 PM]

InacentAbe: hey just a heads up

InacentAbe: I'm gonna be offline for the rest of the day 

InacentAbe: my foster parents need help reorganizing the garage and fixing some stuff around the house 😅😅😅

InacentAbe: I'll catch you guys tomorrow tho 

hamilton liker: aww ok! good luck!! 

hamilton liker: don't lift anything too heavy pls 😭

firechillbro: u got this abe. fix that garage or whatever 

lesbianfailure: take care 💙

g-spot: you'll return stronger. a man forged by dust and wrenches

InacentAbe: LMAO thank you guys 

lesbianfailure: yeppp

InacentAbe has gone offline 

lesbianfailure: anyway

lesbianfailure: cleo

lesbianfailure: you wanna go to the grassy knoll later 

lesbianfailure: just the two of us? 👀

queen cleo 👑: oh??? 

queen cleo 👑: asking me out in this economy

lesbianfailure: we've literally been dating for almost a year at this point 

lesbianfailure: butttt if you got other plans....

queen cleo 👑: no no i don't like at all 

queen cleo 👑: yes. immediately yes 

scary bitches #1 fan: god i love gay people

top_her69: I think it's very beautiful when two women can love each other and maintain a healthy relationship. Love is eternal 🌈

hamilton liker: ok??

hamilton liker: why'd that feel like a ted talk intro 

firechillbro: Topher what are you doing in there

top_her69: As an ally, I respect the power of pride. 

g-spot: ok like

g-spot: we're happy you're an ally but why do you always format ur sentences like ur narrating a national geographic documentary

lesbianfailure: "here, we see the lesbians in their natural habitat. calm. at peace. ignoring men." 

queen cleo 👑: cryinggg 😭😭😭

queen cleo 👑: i love you 

lesbianfailure: love u more 💖

Chapter Text

[4:32 PM]

g-spot: GUYS

g-spot: I JUST FOUND A CUTE LITTLE ALLIGATOR OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

scary bitches #1 fan: you just what. 

queen cleo 👑: no hold on

queen cleo 👑: rereading that real quick

queen cleo 👑: "cute"??? "little"??? "outside your HOUSE"????

hamilton liker: we live in the suburbs wdym "little alligator" 😭

firechillbro: dude that's not something you'd casually find 

g-spot: no no listen he's like

g-spot: a solid three feet long max i think

g-spot: he's chillin near the hose i think he likes it 

g-spot: im naming him boots 🫶🏾 like the monkey from dora 

lesbianfailure: Oh 

firechillbro: you dont even know how to tame a damn gator

g-spot: YES I DO. you just gotta look them in the eyes and earn their respect 

scary bitches #1 fan: you guys saying this stuff makes me think abt two rednecks sitting on a porch drinking beer 

hamilton liker: not to be rude but maybe you should focus on like

hamilton liker: getting rid of the gator outside ur house 

g-spot: no?? he's adorable?? hes my son now

confusayzz421: waut hold up

confusayzz421: we literally live in. the suburbs 

confusayzz421: this ain't australia or florida for that matter 

queen cleo 👑: right we live in fucking exclamation

firechillbro: I just think its so funny that we lose Gandhi to some random event every month

firechillbro: "oh hey guys i found a raccoon in my closet" 

firechillbro: "theres someone inside of my house" 

firechillbro: and now "look at my pet gator" LMAOOO

scary bitches #1 fan: boots is gonna eat bro 

lesbianfailure: just dont let him inside the house

lesbianfailure: or near children

lesbianfailure: or near urself in general

g-spot: too late he's trying to get into the garage

g-spot: im putting on my crocs

hamilton liker: WHY CROCS

hamilton liker: wait nvm that fits

confusayzz421: this is wild bro 

confusayzz421: you guys get on me when i stay up until 3 am but THIS is normal???? 

confusayzz421: "oh yeah i got a prehistoric apex predator outside my house" like ??????

queen cleo 👑: no because he's got a point

scary bitches #1 fan: gandhi if this ends up in you being on the news i wont be surprised one bit

firechillbro: "teen found dead after interacting with predator outside of his house" 

g-spot: nahhhh dw hes chill as hell

g-spot: even one of the neighbors ran thats how chill he was 

lesbianfailure: 2024 cannot be real bro 

hamilton liker: someone please go to his house and remove the reptile

[5:12 PM]

g-spot: update on boots 

g-spot: hes inside the house now 

hamilton liker: .

hamilton liker: .

hamilton liker: .

hamilton liker: YOU BROUGHT HIM INSIDE???

lesbianfailure: I 

lesbianfailure: GANDHI

lesbianfailure: NO 

queen cleo 👑: pls tell me this is a joke

firechillbro: I can Feel it in my bones. He's not joking

g-spot: he looked cold 🙁 he needed a safe space

g-spot has sent a photo

[massive alligator, sprawled on Gandhi's kitchen floor. Gandhi's crocs are next to its head]

scary bitches #1 fan: GANDHI.

scary bitches #1 fan: THAT IS NOT "LITTLE" 

scary bitches #1 fan: THAT IS A FUCKING DINOSAUR

firechillbro: BRO???

firechillbro: laughing so hard RN

firechillbro: YOUR KITCHEN IS NOT AN ENCLOSURE

top_her69: Not to alarm anyone...

top_her69: But there are literally dozens of recorded deaths from Alligator attacks in the US every year. 

top_her69: This is how people get documentaries made about them. 

g-spot: i told yall alreadyyyy hes chill

confusayzz421: this is golden 

confusayzz421: gandhi i changed my mind forget everything i said. im coming over rn i wanna take pics w boots for the gram 

scary bitches #1 fan: confucius istg

scary bitches #1 fan: you're not going to his place

scary bitches #1 fan: and gandhi you are NOT keeping the alligator

queen cleo 👑: call animal control or SOMETHING

lesbianfailure: i cant believe we're at this point 

lesbianfailure: like this started with "oh look guys a baby gator" and now it's a full creature lounging in the house

hamilton liker: what happens when your parents get back gandhi???

hamilton liker: you think they're gonna be like "oh sweetie you got a prehistoric carnivore, how responsible" ?????

g-spot: i mesn ill put him in the laundry room for now

g-spot: they don't usually go in there anyway unless needed

g-spot: he seems to like the dryer

confusayzz421: what detergent you think boots prefers

confusayzz421: lilac??? 

scary bitches #1 fan: confucius im begging you not to encourage him

scary bitches #1 fan: gandhi

scary bitches #1 fan: you have until ur parents get home to find a humane and LEGAL way to get him out of your house 

scary bitches #1 fan: or i'll drive over there myself and release him into the wild 

g-spot: :(

g-spot: fine

g-spot: but im making him a goodbye lasagna 

hamilton liker: i'd advise not to? 

g-spot: YOU GUYS ARENT MY PARENTS. I DO WHAT I WANT 

Chapter Text

[7:47 PM]

InacentAbe: hey guys, I'm back!! 😁

InacentAbe: helping out didn't take as long as i thought! what did i miss? 

lesbianfailure: oh just normal things

lesbianfailure: like gandhi bringing an alligator into his house

lesbianfailure: and naming it boots

InacentAbe: 

InacentAbe: WHAT? 

queen cleo 👑: yeah. boots. like the monkey

g-spot: he's vibing

InacentAbe: wait are you okay??? is it in a cage or...????

scary bitches #1 fan: he let it IN. its not caged its lounging freely in his kitchen like it pays rent

scary bitches #1 fan: so if he gets bit im not even gonna pretend to be shocked

top_her69: I have a possum named Lucyfur JR. She just hisses sometimes.

hamilton liker: ok but lucyfur jr is like. a screaming rodent not a huge ass lizard

firechillbro: !

firechillbro: hi abe 😊😊😊

firechillbro: ur back

firechillbro: thats so nice

confusayzz421: bro is late 😭🙏

lesbianfailure: JFK. gator. focus.

firechillbro: OH YEAH RIGHT

firechillbro: gator. yes. very scary. anyway abe how was helping out 😊😊😊

g-spot: y'all underestimate how intelligent boots is

g-spot: he knows not to bite friends....i gave him grapes 

InacentAbe: This is kind of a lot to come back to 😭

InacentAbe: but like. for real Gandhi I'm kinda worried for you man

g-spot: appreciate it king ❤️ im chilling. boots is in here chilling w me he seems interested in the show im watching rn

scary bitches #1 fan: i hate this fucking chat /j 

scary bitches #1 fan: no one here is sane 

firechillbro: except abe 😊

lesbianfailure: STOP BEING OBVIOUS BRO

InacentAbe: What? lmao 😅

scary bitches #1 fan: sigh

[8:52 PM]

g-spot: hey guys

g-spot: its over

g-spot: boots is gone 💔

queen cleo 👑: THANK GOD

queen cleo 👑: i was gen worried you were gonna be on the news

g-spot: weird that you care this much tbh 

InacentAbe: Wait really? you finally got rid of him? 

InacentAbe: did you get hurt or anything?

g-spot: nah im good

g-spot: i cried a lil though. we had a connection. we bonded man.....gave him one last grape before the animal guys came 

scary bitches #1 fan: GANDHI

scary bitches #1 fan: ur LUCKY that oversized lizard didnt MAUL you

scary bitches #1 fan: or worse ruin ur house 

confusayzz421: sighhhh boots will live on in our hearts......

hamilton liker: speaking of things that aren't life-threatening...

hamilton liker: cleo, frida how did the date go 👀👀👀

queen cleo 👑: it was perfect 💖

queen cleo 👑: we left the grassy knoll earlier because the menu got stale as fuck. so we went to this hill area and had lemonade

queen cleo 👑: laid in the grass. frida picked a flower and stuck it behind my ear it was so romantic 

lesbianfailure: cleo said she liked how my hair looked and i almost fainted 

lesbianfailure: 10/10 date fr 

firechillbro: Awwww

firechillbro: you guys are like...the opposite of me and my luck RN 💀

queen cleo 👑: i really dont think anyone gaf 

scary bitches #1 fan: stares directly at jfk

g-spot: do you think boots would've liked the grass

g-spot: he was an outdoorsy guy at heart 

hamilton liker: GANDHI PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE ALLIGATOR

InacentAbe: im glad you're okay though

InacentAbe: and frida, cleo----you guys are so cute! 🥹

firechillbro: yeah

firechillbro: Really Cute 

firechillbro: not jealous or anything

firechillbro: im so normal about it 

scary bitches #1 fan: ok jack

Chapter Text

[12:38 PM]

queen cleo 👑: ok real talk

queen cleo 👑: WHY does mrs. parker act like taking our phones is some kind of victory

queen cleo 👑: "you'll thank me later in life" GIRL NO I WONT. I WAS TEXTING FRIDA

lesbianfailure: aww <3 i was texting you too 

lesbianfailure: the system is keeping us apart smh

confusayzz421: cleo u are 100% valid rn

confusayzz421: like if im filming my flipflop in class and she takes my phone i consider that disrespect 

g-spot: notttt meee i keep spares just in case 

confusayzz421: oh wait now that you said that i literally have spares too what am i going on abt 😭😭😭🙏

hamilton liker: tbh i think taking phones away is a bad solution

hamilton liker: like sure phones are a distraction 

hamilton liker: but taking them just makes everyone anxious and more focused on getting them back instead of actually learning

InacentAbe: yeah agreed

InacentAbe: also this whole convo reminds me...

InacentAbe: did you guys realize me, joan, jfk, gandhi and cleo didn't even have phones back in 2002?

confusayzz421: WHAT

g-spot: YEAH DUDE we had to pass notes in class like cavemen

firechillbro: flirting with girls didn't require much of a phone back then but its WAY easier to now 

firechillbro: Not that I'm concerned with chicks atm...

scary bitches #1 fan: hm

scary bitches #1 fan: 2002 wasn't a good year for me at all but i'll always cherish the music 

scary bitches #1 fan: but still. not that great 

top_her69: I don't get why people treat the 2000s like they were perfect.

top_her69: Useful technology didn't exist. The fashion was ugly. Everyone was insensitive. Let it go.

InacentAbe: OK maybe they weren't perfect I'd say but still, so much nostalgia 

InacentAbe: I mean, where else would you find wacky cereal commercials nowadays? 

firechillbro: I kinda miss mario...

top_her69: Yeah, um. Pretty sure Mario still exists today.

hamilton liker: i swear y'all are allergic to staying on topic

queen cleo 👑: the topic is "school sucks and i want to text my gf" 

queen cleo 👑: so i am on topic

lesbianfailure: aw babe

[2:26 PM]

g-spot: GUYS

g-spot: UR NOT GONNA BELUEVE WHAT JUST HAPPEBED IN THE BATHROOM 💀💀💀

g-spot: GOGH AND CAESAR WERE MAKING OUT IN THERE

g-spot: HAHAHA

lesbianfailure: gandhi omf 💀

lesbianfailure: thats not really ur business tho??? like dont snoop

g-spot: frida pls ive BEEN snooping since 2002

g-spot: i do this for US

scary bitches #1 fan: yeah ok ur getting on my nerves 

g-spot has been muted by scary bitches #1 fan for 1 hour

scary bitches #1 fan: WAIT

scary bitches #1 fan: I COULD'VE BEEN DOING THAT THIS WHOLE TIME??

InacentAbe: Yeah! i made you a mod 

InacentAbe: you didn't notice?

scary bitches #1 fan: i thought that crown emoji next to my name was cosmetic im so stupid 

top_her69: We're twinning! 

top_her69: I manage a Discord Server and I mute people all the time. It's a great power to have. 

confusayzz421: oh brother here we go

confusayzz421: not this man bragging about being a discord mod 😭

firechillbro: I bet ur room probably stinks like rotten cheese and sweat 

confusayzz421: i bet bro doesn't even touch grass 💀💀💀💀

top_her69: This is harassment. I hope you both know that. 

queen cleo 👑: this GC is about to be peaceful for the next hour 

lesbianfailure: wait how long is gandhi muted for again

scary bitches #1 fan: 1 hour. i wanted peace 

lesbianfailure: fair 

Chapter Text

[4:43 PM]

top_her69: I'm going to the grocery store with Caitlin. I'll be back shortly. Please don't do anything reckless while I'm gone. I don't trust Gandhi. 

g-spot: THAT'S SO RUDE i was silenced for being too silly

lesbianfailure: not the flex you think it is bro

InacentAbe: LOL

InacentAbe: BTW i was wondering

InacentAbe: JFK do you mind if i come over this weekend? i don't really have anything planned and it might be fun to hang out 

firechillbro: .

firechillbro: uh

firechillbro: Yeah sure. whatever. that's fine. 

hamilton liker: 👀👀👀

queen cleo 👑: ooooohh 

lesbianfailure: okay gays

lesbianfailure: have fun on ur little date

InacentAbe: Huh??? 🫤

firechillbro: SHUT UP

firechillbro: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP

scary bitches #1 fan: they just started talking you guys

hamilton liker: its called signs joan

queen cleo 👑: and i know how it'll end

lesbianfailure: maybe with a kiss??? 

firechillbro: I'm gonna block everyone in here. 

g-spot: HAHAHAHA

g-spot: ABE AND JACKIE SITTING IN A TREE

firechillbro: I WILL BREAK YR KNEES TINY TIM 

g-spot: ohhh im so scared 

g-spot: bro called me "tiny tim" 

firechillbro: getting in the car

g-spot: DAMN DAGW IM DJOKING 

InacentAbe: I just wanted to hang out 😭 you guys are being weird

firechillbro: Ignore them ok

firechillbro: yes you can come over

firechillbro: we'll play video games and eat pizza and i'll beat ur ass in mario kart again 

InacentAbe: Fun! Okay now im definitely coming

top_her69: I'm still in the car but I just wanted to say that I love the subtext. 

top_her69: It's okay to be in love JFK.

firechillbro: SHUT THE FUCK UP

[7:12 PM]

Private Chat: firechillbro & lesbianfailure 

firechillbro: frida you there?

lesbianfailure: yeah wassup

lesbianfailure: something happen? 

firechillbro: ok so i need...help

firechillbro: abes coming over this weekend and im gonna spontaneously combust 

lesbianfailure: nervous as always i see

firechillbro: shush! 

firechillbro: I want to show him that i LOVE him

lesbianfailure: im listening

firechillbro: not like kiss him against the wall kind of love (yet)

firechillbro: just. be genuine. soft. mushy. that corny shit 

lesbianfailure: ohhhh

lesbianfailure: okay wait i respect this

lesbianfailure: sorry i thought you were abt to say something sus and i was gonna close the chat because ik how you are 

firechillbro: LMFAOO

firechillbro: NO but like i want him to get it. like ACTUALLY get it. he's so oblivious it's almost concerning 

lesbianfailure: oh ur so right abt that

lesbianfailure: boys brain is full of bs 

firechillbro: I KNOW

firechillbro: and I didn't know who else to ask but

firechillbro: You and cleo? you guys are a huge couple

firechillbro: how did you even manage it. she was so...scary back then. especially when it came to our relationship 

lesbianfailure: lmao. shes still like that a bit 

lesbianfailure: but yeah no i remember that whole thing

lesbianfailure: confucius' and harriet's party? i think that was a year ago? 

lesbianfailure: she came up to me when i was at the balcony 

lesbianfailure: and then we just ended up kissing french style 

lesbianfailure: literally 

firechillbro: so cinematic...

lesbianfailure: yeah and i couldn't believe it was actually happening

lesbianfailure: but that was the moment. and like. i wasn't trying to prove anything. i just wanted her to know that she was the most beautiful girl in the world and that she mattered to me 

firechillbro: so you're saying...

firechillbro: french kiss abe under the night sky?

lesbianfailure: nah nah 

lesbianfailure: unless you want to

lesbianfailure: but its more like just make abe feel like he matters 

lesbianfailure: just be john

firechillbro: thanks man. seriously 

firechillbro: i guess everyone already knows and is just waiting for me to go for it so

lesbianfailure: exactlyyyyy so dont be afraid alr 

lesbianfailure: u got this!!!!