Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

December 21, 1992

Song: Pandora’s Box by J-Hope

The sound of the water dripping off of Jung Hoseok’s black wool coat was louder than the bell of the convenience store door.

The cashier gave a sleepy greeting, having been awoken by the customer’s entrance. The clock on the wall pointed its black hands towards midnight, yet Hoseok looked as if he was wide awake.

His almost black hair was stuck onto his forehead in a soggy mess. Rainwater and blood was dripping down his chin and onto his neck. His brown eyes were a deep blue underneath and his skin was almost as white as the walls of the store. Despite his sickly pallor, his face looked strong and handsome. The scars on his face did nothing to take away his appeal, not even the thick red stitched incision that ran from the corner of his mouth to the lobe of his right ear.

The cashier made a surprised noise when she noticed his appearance but he paid her no attention. Small pools of light pink water spawned as Hoseok walked across the store. The cashier’s shocked glance quickly turned into an appalled look, likely dreading to clean the mess he was making across the entire store. Hoseok, on the other hand, looked unperturbed. His eyes went directly to the section of instant noodles before he quickly selected one. The cashier complained loudly about the mess he was making while he paid for his noodles but he ignored her. She gasped when he opened his coat to reach for a bill in the large stack of money he held in the inner pocket. 

It was undeniable that his once white shirt was soiled with blood. He did not look injured nor did he look like he cared, or knew, that there was blood on his clothes. 

Her breathing quickened while he placed a bloodied bill on the countertop. She reached for the phone shakily and began making a call. 

He walked over to the hot water machine and began preparing his meal. He only watched as the hot water from the machine splashed off the dry noodles and onto his hand. His face maintained its composure as his hand turned red from the hot water droplets that boiled his hand. 

He picked up his bowl and placed it on the small seating area inside the convenience store which was serving as his shelter from the storm. He watched as the raindrops cast a thick blurry veil over the old window of the convenience store. There was nothing to look at outside other than a street lap nearby and a red neon sign flashing on and off intermittently. It would have lit up the entire store if the lights inside weren’t so white and overpowering. Hoseok watched the time on his cracked golden watch as he patiently waited for four minutes to pass so he could begin eating his ramen. He never showed a glint of impatience despite the low grumble resonating from his lower abdomen. He placed a bloodied hand there absentmindedly and rubbed. The contact left small streaks of red on his shirt which only added to the existing stains of blood.

He maintained his composure and waited patiently, even when the cashier announced the police were on their way.

The only thing that was able to break him out of his calm demeanor was the arrival of two men. They were both drenched from the frigid rain, seeking shelter under the small overhang in front of the convenience store.

“We’re only a few blocks away, do we really need an umbrella?” The first male complained.

The skin on Hoseok’s arms raised under his wet coat. His head twitched as if he was going to turn his head to look at the man yet he did not, choosing to watch from his peripheral vision instead.

“A few blocks? It’s a twenty minute walk. We’re going to get pneumonia at this rate. This is why I told you we should have taken the car.” The silver haired man next to him plucked an umbrella from a tub outside and opened it over his head.

“I don’t mind.” A large puddle of water fell off the brown leather bag the first male carried in his bruised hands when he shrugged.

The silver haired man looked at the leather bag and gave him a glare. The taller male returned his glare for the smallest moment before huffing and grabbing his own umbrella. He didn’t bother paying for it. He walked away with it as if he knew the silver haired man would pay for it which he did. He complained as he threw a bill into the bin holding the umbrellas before following after the other man.

They were gone so quickly the cashier didn’t have enough time to run outside and warn them of the danger sitting at the counter.

Hoseok began his pursuit as soon as they were out of sight. He abandoned his food and followed the men out onto the street without hesitation. He was skilled enough to not be spotted but he kept his distance in case they were too observant for their own good. He followed them through multiple streets and alleyways until the two men disappeared into a large two story building with a bright fire colored neon sign spelling out the words THE SOLAR LAIR .

He climbed multiple stories to stand on the roof of the taller building in front of the club and watched them enter.

Hoseok could see the entire club from where he stood. The night club was built as two round circles stacked on top of each other, the larger one at the bottom and a smaller one at the top. The roof of the ground floor was lit with bright red neon lights which were shaped as spokes of the sun. If one were to get a bird's eye view of the place it would look like one neon red sun.

There was a lot of commotion outside the club. On one end, there was a line of young adults  outside waiting in the arctic air for their turn to enter. Not a single person was wearing clothes appropriate for the weather. On the other end of the club was the exit which was spitting out drunk people of all ages. They stumbled around noisily into each other, the ground, and the street lamps.

The taller male of the two he had followed barely managed to avoid the vomit that spilled out of a young girl and onto the floor. He cursed before glaring at the girl. It looked like he wanted to say something but the silver haired male stopped him. The taller male followed the silver haired male inside the building before glaring at the girl one last time. 

Hoseok waited on the roof for hours despite the rainstorm, never moving his eyes from the doors. He looked determined to wait for them to come out, regardless of how long they took. There was still a deep grumble coming from his stomach but it may as well have been silent for Hoseok didn’t give any indication he heard or felt it.

As closing time approached, the storm settled and people began spilling out of the building quicker than they had been earlier. They held onto each other and the street poles for support as they stumbled their way to the sidewalk where they flagged down the few taxis on the wet road. Some men and women were dragged out of the building, demanding that their money be returned to them, while others left voluntarily as closing time approached. Once the customers were gone the bouncers left the club first followed by those who seemed to be bar and kitchen staff. An interesting group of men and women left next. They wore casual clothes yet their eyes were rimmed with poorly removed eyeliner and colored shadow. The final wave of people were all bruised and bloodied. Some were bandaged and others were limping. Most had a few missing teeth that had been replaced with gold or veneers. They were followed by the man who seemed to be the boss. He was flanked by three other men, all who looked to be taking part in his reign.

Hoseok had looked unimpressed by the people he had seen so far, that was until the last six men stepped out of the doors.

Song: A Love International by Krhuangbin

The first of the six was the tallest. He appeared broad, strong, and capable. It was clear that there was nothing but hard rock muscle beneath his clothing. He looked as if he could take Hoseok’s skull into his hands and crush it with a single twitch of his fingers. He wore a full black suit and an expensive gold watch on his left wrist. He looked at the time with his gray eyes before running a large hand through his bright yellow hair which was shaved on the sides. He had an intimidating look, but kind eyes. He looked back when another male called out to him. 

“RM hyung!”

RM smiled at the younger male, flashing a set of perfect white teeth and deep dimples that made Hoseok’s eyes narrow.

The boy ran up to him and smiled brightly, watching RM with bright brown doe eyes. There were many silver earrings adorning his face and his ears and even more ink decorating his skin. He was not as tall yet almost as broad as the yellow haired male. Unlike RM, he did not look like a man made for fighting. He looked younger and more innocent than he likely was. The only thing that made him intimidating was his build, choice of jewelry, and wardrobe. He wore black leather clothes and held a motorcycle helmet in his tattooed right hand. “Do you have time to train with me today?” He asked RM animatedly.

RM shook his head. “You look tired, Jungkook.” He ran a long finger across the purple skin below his youthful brown eyes. “Maybe after you’ve had a full night’s sleep.”

Jungkook blushed a light rose before agreeing quietly. Their conversation ended when a tall male approached. He kept his eyes to the wet floor as he stood next to them, not speaking nor being spoken to. He was as tall as Jungkook yet his shoulders were broader than RM’s. He was lean which made his limbs appear longer and thinner than RM’s. His brows were just as dark as his black hair and his full lips were a warm shade of glossy rose. He looked down at his abdomen where he silently toyed with a loose button on his violet shirt while his other hand held a white coat stained with blood.

The other two males looked at him briefly, both tensing and initiating awkward small talk with the tall male.

Goosebumps ran over Hoseok’s entire body when the next man walked out.

He was almost as tall as the rest yet not as broad. His face was smooth and undeniably beautiful. He had a strong jaw and eyes that were perfectly symmetrical. There was a small mole decorating the bottom of his left eye and another on his left cheek. His chocolate brown hair was still damp from the rain and so was his brown suit. “RM, stop boring Jin with the weather will you? You’re the only one who cares about the science of condensation.” He put an arm around Jin’s shoulders and whispered something into his ear that made him laugh brightly. The brown haired man smiled quietly as he watched the handsome Jin laugh in his arms.

“I bet Jin could take any of us down in an even fight. He’s just too humble to do so.” The silver haired male from earlier walked out. His feline eyes looked worried as he looked at his watch and glanced down the road.

Jungkook’s face became serious. “No one can beat RM hyung.” He said it firmly, as if it were a fact rather than an opinion.

RM smiled. “Thanks kid, but no one is invincible. Besides, I think Suga’s right. It’s likely Jin could take any of us down.” He looked down at Jungkook fondly before patting his head and making a mess of the short dark hair there. “I think he could even take down Jimin.” RM nodded towards the doors where another male walked out.

The final male was shorter than the rest but he had the most intimidating look of them all. His pale ash hair was styled back neatly to uncover his paler blue eyes. His plump lips were pressed into a hard line as he looked down at the ground. He locked the door behind himself and walked towards the men on the sidewalk, unrolling the wine colored sleeves of his shirt as he walked. They were all engaged in conversation except for him. He stood with them quietly, his hands firmly in the pockets of his matching wine colored trousers.

There were many men present but Hoseok only kept his eyes on one.

The men continued chatting as they split up. Some walked down the road towards a bus stop while others walked towards the subway station nearby, including the man that had captured Hoseok’s attention. His brows furrowed lightly once the man was out of his sight. 

It looked like Hoseok was going to follow until he caught sight of the man still standing on the sidewalk. Suga brought a ring decorated hand up to his face so he could check the time again on his watch. He continued glancing down the road, clearly waiting for someone or something.

Hoseok waited with him, but whatever it was never came. The man eventually sighed and walked away towards a silver Jaguar parked just in front of the building Hoseok was using to hide. 

“Your seven days are up.” A voice behind him called out.

Hoseok turned around quickly, but his expression became bored once he saw who had snuck up on him. “Aren’t you tired of chasing me?” He sighed, “Will you finally kill me now?”

A bright flash of lightning lit up the man who was now squinting through the light rain and pointing a gun at Hoseok. The long scar running from his right brow to his right cheek didn’t allow his eye to scrunch up like his left. “I don’t want to, but I will if you don’t join. I’ve already explained the terms of the agreement.” Water dripped off the man’s black slicked back shoulder length hair and onto his clothes.

“What happens if you don’t kill me?” Hoseok stood defensively, seemingly ready to challenge the man despite the gun in his hand.

The rain echoed off of the man’s black leather coat. “My family dies.” He clicked off the safety on his gun. “I will never let that happen, so you will die.” He said determinedly.

“If I join, will Bang use my family against me like he does to you?”

“If you join, then you will understand he is not the one who you should be afraid of.” His mouth was set in a tight line.

Hoseok’s hand twitched briefly. “Then who should I be afraid of?”

“You’ll decide that once you join, but I guarantee it won’t be Bang.”

“Does Kim Taehyung have the same mark on his chest?” Hoseok nodded to the man’s chest  where the white button up under his coat had been completely soaked through, making the solar emblem branded on his muscular chest completely visible.

The man furrowed his brows, still pointing the gun at Hoseok. “Yes. How do you know him?” 

“Then I’ll accept your offer.” Hoseok said immediately.

“You’ll join Hybe?”

Hoseok nodded.

“If you’re being serious then I will take you there now.” The man put his gun away into the holster on his chest. “If you try to run, I’ll have to kill you.”

“You won’t have to.” Hoseok’s eyes darkened. “There’s someone I need to see before I die.”

Chapter Text

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF KIM TAEHYUNG

Song: Come Back Down by Trevor Something (Instrumental)

December 31, 1992

Taehyung could not believe he was thinking of Jung Hoseok at a time like this. Was it because he was on the verge of death, or was it because that familiar wave of yearning that appeared every few years had found its way back to him yet again?

Regardless of which it was, this was not how Taehyung expected his night to go.

He should have been in his office, busy running thick stacks of money through the bill counters with Suga. Not on the first floor of the club’s bathroom with a dead body on top of him.

Taehyung and Suga had gone their separate ways after returning from their weekly collection run to one of their sister clubs. Suga had stayed in the car to make a phone call while Taehyung had begun to make his way downstairs to begin unpacking the money.

That was until he was dragged to the men’s bathroom by the neck, beaten to a pulp, and almost killed.

Taehyung heaved as he pushed the foreign body off of his own. He lay on the floor, gasping in exhaustion and pain. Every single part of him ached with flashbacks of the blows his attacker had inflicted upon him. The man had struck, stabbed, and cut him every chance he had. He mercilessly struck Taehyung without ever resting, making sure he did not have enough time to recover from his attacks. 

Taehyung took in a large breath when the absence of the body allowed him to expand his lungs once again. He groaned in pain immediately. The pain in his ribs was the most excruciating of all. The stab vest he wore was good at stopping knives from penetrating his chest but it did nothing against boots. There had been a point in the scuffle where Taehyung had been thrown on the ground and the man had rammed his foot into his chest continuously until Taehyung pulled out a knife and propped the handle on his chest so the man could stab himself in the foot with the knife. The move gave Taehyung the two things he needed to survive, a chance to breathe and time to strike back.

The man yelled out in pain and tugged the knife out of his foot before there was a loud bang and he fell unconscious on top of Taehyung.

He peeked over the man’s shoulder to see Agust putting his gun away into his waistband. “Happy New Year.” He said before walking out.

He laughed at his cousin’s brashness and regretted it immediately when his ribs screamed out in pain.

“You could have at least dragged this fucker off me!” He yelled out after him.

“You’re asking for too much now. I’m running behind because of you.” He called back without giving him another look.

Although Taehyung had almost died, he could only think of the large brown leather bag he had thrown in the final bathroom stall at the last second. He thought about what he and Suga had done to acquire it and what would have happened to them if he had lost it.

He should have never walked into the club alone with the bag in the first place.

He turned over to look at the dead man’s face. He was a middle aged gentleman with a severely scarred and disfigured face. His scalp was devoid of hair and his open eyes were full of rage from the second he entered the room to the second Agust put a bullet through the back of his head. Although the man had been looking for the money, he was determined to kill. There was a fury and craze in his eyes that could only belong to someone who was thirsty for blood.

The blood that was draining out of the man’s head was slowly creeping towards Taehyung. The purple LED lights in the white tiled bathroom made the blood a dark purple. His body had felt so heavy while it sat over Taehyung’s chest. He never imagined a dead body could be heavier than a live one. Taehyung could feel the man’s lifeless eyes on him. He knew the man was dead, but his mind couldn’t process it. He shivered and reached over to close the man’s eyes, but the thought of touching someone that was dead scared him, regardless of having done it multiple times. He pulled back before taking a deep breath and putting a hand over the man’s face. His body was still warm, warmer than Taehyung’s. He could feel the warmth from the man’s face seep into Taehyung’s cold hands. The man’s mouth had propped open from the movement. Dark secretions began draining from his mouth and onto the ground to mix with the dark blood. Taehyung hated to admit that the lack of food in his stomach was the only thing keeping him from vomiting at the moment.

He was okay with blood but he drew the line at any kind of digestive contents.

The repulsive scent of blood mixed with gastric and fecal content was getting too strong for him to bear. He wanted to get up but he knew that he would be met with searing pain at any attempt to move. Yet the wetness was getting closer and the smell was getting stronger. It was only making Taehyung more desperate to get away.

He breathed deeply and quickly while he used all his strength to sit up and reach for the phone in his pocket. Dizziness crashed into him when he sat up. He put his arms behind him to catch himself before he fell only to receive another shot of pain. He rested his back on the wall under the sinks and reached for his phone again, his ribs screaming out in pain. It wasn’t until his phone slipped out of his hand that he realized how bloody he was.

His hands were tainted in the liquid. His clothes were shredded, revealing deep gashes in his own skin that were oozing with blood. The smell became stronger then.

He started breathing through his mouth and ignored the dizzying nausea building up inside him.

“SVT Cleaning Services, Vernon speaking. How may I help you?” He could barely hear Vernon over the music booming in the club.

“I need housekeeping.” Taehyung’s voice was weaker than he wanted to sound, but he supposed it was expected after receiving the beating of a lifetime.

“Of course. How many rooms would you like cleaned?” 

“One. The first bathroom in Mapo.”

“We’ll be there right there sir.”

The line went dead as soon as two pathetic boys walked into the bathroom and started screaming as if they’ve never seen a dead body before. 

They were no older than thirty. Their hair was perfectly styled and their clothes didn’t hold a single wrinkle. They were boys who were pretending to be men. Their screams were so obnoxious that Taehyung took two of his knives that were still impaled into the dead man’s body and threw them towards them. The knives speared into the wall next to each of their heads, one so close he could see where one of their scalps had been freed of all hair in that area. He knew that the simple act of losing a small piece of hair would have a greater effect on the boy than the dead body in front of him.

He took a second to laugh at the boy’s fragile ego. He regretted the action immediately when his ribs screamed louder than the boys and more blood oozed out of the dead man. He channeled his pain into his voice, “Get the fuck out or you’ll be next!”

He didn’t know if he should brace his ribs, cover his ears, or aim at their temples this time. They screamed louder before they ran out. To Taehyung’s disappointment, they entered the bathroom again yet this time they were being gagged by Suga and Jimin.

One of the boys was screaming exceptionally loud behind the tie Jimin had taken off himself to gag the boy. Jimin placed both of his hands on either side of his face and stared at him. The boy stopped yelling immediately. Jimin lifted one of his hands to hit him and the boy flinched. 

The grin on Jimin’s face was bone chilling. “Stop yelling please.” He caressed the man’s face before shoving him into the stall full force. There was a loud thud and a bang before the man went silent.

By the time Jimin slammed the door shut, Suga was still taunting the other male, gagging him slowly but forcefully while he whispered things in his ear. Suga let out a chuckle before tucking his medium length silver hair behind his ear. The action revealed two medium sized silver hoops that glinted in the purple lighting. The boy’s eyes followed Suga’s hand as he spoke. 

Whatever Suga said made the boy go bone pale and run into the stall and lock himself inside voluntarily.

Suga looked under the stall where Jimin had thrown the other male. Taehyung followed his gaze only to see the back of the boy’s head on the ground. His chest rose and fell with even breaths and no blood seemed to be spilling out of him. Suga let out a sigh of relief before giving Jimin a cold look.

“You only called for one body right Taehyung?” His cold eyes didn’t leave Jimin’s.

“Yeah.” He grunted.

Jimin rolled his eyes. “Relax, the boy is alive.” He said with annoyance.

“What hurts?” Suga ignored Jimin and walked towards Taehyung, avoiding the puddle of blood nearby.

“Everything.” Taehyung’s voice was hoarse and his mouth was filled with blood. One exceptionally hard blow to the face caused him to bite his own cheek. He turned to the side and spit out the small puddle of blood that had formed in his mouth. “How did you know I was here?”

“Agust.” Jimin opened the bag Taehyung had tossed into the furthest stall and began counting. “Did he come for the money?” He nodded to the perpetrator.

“They always come for the money but I never let them leave with it.” Taehyung could feel the blood coating his teeth as he smiled.

“ You never let them? Didn’t my brother kill him?” Suga smirked.

Taehyung’s smile dropped as he complained. “I could have finished him off. Agust only sped up the process.”

Jimin kicked the bag towards Taehyung. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black trousers and watched him. “Does Taemoo really think this is worth your life?”

“What do you think?” Taehyung gritted his teeth as he glared at his friend.

Jimin shrugged.

Suga’s finger burned Taehyung’s neck as he ran it across. It came back dripping with dark liquid. Taehyung reached for his own neck but Suga stopped him.

“He cut your neck. He almost killed you. One more millimeter and you would be dead right now. Do you understand that?” Suga was angry now. “Let’s go to Jin. You need help.” He stood up.

“I’m fine.” He lied as he felt the back of his head throb in pain.

“Okay, then get up.” Suga watched with an amused expression and waited.

Taehyung couldn’t hold back the painful gasp that came when he leaned forward.

“That’s what I thought.” Suga smirked

Jimin pulled out his phone to make a phone call.

Suga lost the smirk on his face once he looked at Taehyung’s neck again. His eyes met Taehyung’s before looking at the ground. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you come inside alone.” He whispered so quietly that Taehyung almost didn’t hear him.

He met his cousin’s worried eyes for a moment before Jimin interrupted.

“Jin said he’ll meet us in the infirmary. He just finished up with a patient.” Jimin shut his phone and sighed. “Seongsu told Taemoo it was a bad idea to send you out there without a third person.” He turned to Suga, “You can’t keep protecting him on your own or you’ll get hurt too. I don’t know why the fuck you two think you’re indestructible.” His tone was hostile.

Suga scoffed, “That’s none of your business. Besides, we can’t trust anyone new after what happened with Geunwon.”

Taehyung remembered that night clearly. They had just left Woosung’s club after collecting the week’s earnings when Geunwon started making unfamiliar turns.

Taehyung tried to gain control of the situation by using his gun, telling him to turn back to the club, or lose his life. That’s when Geunwon flipped the car over. Suga and Taehyung suffered minor injuries but Geunwon must have forgotten he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Taemoo must have been dissatisfied when Geunwon died before he could have him tortured, so dissatisfied that Suga and Taehyung were punished instead. He flinched as he remembered the crack of the whip against his back.

“I never trusted that guy.” Jimin tightened his grip on his phone.

Two women pushing a housekeeping cart walked into the bathroom and bowed their heads towards Jimin.

“Place a closed sign outside the door and pack the body before the rigor mortis sets in. There’s two witnesses in the stalls. I’ll have someone come collect them. Keep an eye out and don’t let them escape. Taeju will come and sort out the situation.” Jimin ordered.

Jimin had always been kind and gentle towards Taehyung but he always turned into a different person when he was giving orders as the manager of the fight club. His tone was not to be argued with and his orders were not made to be disobeyed. He was the most terrifying person in the club aside from Taemoo.

“Yes sir.” They said in unison. The first woman kneeled next to the body and unzipped a large black bag. The other brought the cart forward to not only hide the body but the traces of blood in the bathroom.

Suga grabbed a sheet from the cart, put it over his own chest to keep his suit clean and bent down to scoop Taehyung into his arms before he could protest. 

The motion sent fire through Taehyung’s ribs but he knew if he had moved any slower he would have only prolonged the pain.

“Sorry.” Suga muttered.

Suga wasn’t the tallest and his body looked thin upon first glance but appearances are always deceiving. Suga’s frame was made up of pure high quality muscle. His deceptive appearance had led many people to underestimate his strength. People were known to challenge him frequently since they didn’t believe the stories about him. Those people had always ended up dead or disabled.

“Thanks hyung.” Taehyung said sincerely and then rolled his eyes at the sheet between them. “Even now you’re still concerned about the state of your suit.”

Suga made a disgusted face which only made Taehyung laugh. He quickly stopped when the movement sent pain through his torso. Suga smirked then.

Jimin pulled out another sheet from the woman’s cart and draped it over Taehyung.

“Doesn’t this look suspicious?” Taehyung muttered under the sheet.

He felt Suga shrug. “Let’s say I had harmed you and was carrying you away to finish the job. Everyone is going to wonder what I’m holding but no one will be brave enough to ask and confirm. People mind their own business when they’re afraid of the answers they’ll get. The only ones who would care would be the security team which wouldn’t question us since they know who we are. So tell me Taehyung, who's going to give into their curiosity?”

Taehyung didn’t have an answer to that.

Suga walked out of the bathroom and into the club nonchalantly, as if it was the most normal thing to be carrying a human sized bundle occasionally dripping with blood. There were various gasps and yells around them, yet no one approached or questioned just as Suga had predicted. The booming music painfully increased in volume the deeper they went into the club and so did his pain level. Every single step Suga took shook Taehyung’s entire body and injected pain into his ribs.

“Slow down please.” Taehyung managed to grit out.

“Move it.” He heard Jimin ordering people out of their way.

Suga didn’t slow. He probably couldn’t hear him past the blaring music of the club which only served to overstimulate and overwhelm Taehyung. He wished to cover his ears with his fingers but every movement hurt too much.

The ride in the elevator down to the infirmary made his head pound. He was always aware of the sensation of dropping when being in an elevator, but it had never bothered him the way it did now.

They walked down the long halls and past the noisy entrance to the fight club. The blanket had slipped off his head slowly which allowed him to look into the ring. It was as alive as ever. The fight club was underground, deep below the Solar Lair. It was as large as a small coliseum and large enough to fit hundreds of people. The entire place was made out of dark gray stone, including the elevated fighting ring in the middle. It was about fifteen meters in diameter with a four meter tall metal cage around it. The fighting ring was lit up by bright fluorescent lights circling the entire coliseum. There was a large neon red orange band of light below the ring, giving the fighters a fiery glow as they competed half a meter above the ground. There was one main entrance to the coliseum and three smaller ones. Each of the entrances had two large gray greek like statues next to them, judging the opponents as they beat each other into oblivion for the purpose of entertainment.  

The place that stood out the most, other than the ring itself, was the VIP seating area. It was only a meter from the ring with glass in front of it to protect the spectators from the splash. There was a large throne in the middle on which Taemoo liked to sit when he watched. He was not there that night but there were other VIP clients there. In the regular crowd, men and women were cheering, tossing money forward hoping that their chosen opponent would win and make them rich overnight.

One of the regular fighters, Mingyu, was currently shoving his knife into his opponent’s eye. His mouth was bright red with blood but that wasn’t what caught Taehyung’s attention the most. It was the disturbing amount of satisfaction on Mingyu’s face. Once his opponent lost consciousness, Mingyu stood over him and forced the knife deeper into his opponent's skull with his heel and a smile, immediately triggering a loud cheer from the gambling crowd into Taehyung’s ears. He grunted in discomfort while Suga quickened his pace to the infirmary which sat in the furthest and darkest corner of the deep underground maze.

Jimin opened the door for them as Suga carried Taehyung into the dimly lit room. Jin’s infirmary was the opposite of what a hospital looked like. The walls were paneled in dark wood, separated from the dark red ceiling by a strip of ornate wooden trim. The room was lit warmly with lamps and an electric fireplace whose light was always lit even when the heat was not. The infirmary held four beds along the wall on the right, all concealed behind thick cream colored curtains. In the far end of the room was Jin’s large wooden desk which he was absent from at the moment.

Taehyung was surprised when Suga didn’t let go of him once he was one meter above the infirmary bed. Suga set him on the infirmary bed gently which set off alarms in Taehyung’s mind. Suga ripped the sheet off him as if he was a dusty piece of furniture in an abandoned home.

“Why are you being nice to me?” Taehyung gasped out. Every breath was painful for him.

Jimin scoffed and crossed his arms. “He's a jerk, what are you talking about?” He walked to the corner of the room and leaned his back on the wall.

“Not when you’re alone with him.” Jin walked in, flanked by his assistant, Yeonjun, and winked at Suga.

Jin wore a dark violet button up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows paired with dark trousers and thin round black glasses. He donned a pristine white coat before sitting in a rolling chair next to Taehyung.

Suga let out a humorless laugh before rolling his eyes.

“What hurts?” Jin asked Taehyung while he examined the incision on his neck. Yeonjun rolled a pre-prepared metal tray towards Jin.

Taehyung glared at Jin. He must have looked exactly how he felt, right? So why was everyone asking him when he had clearly been beaten to death?

“Your breaths are shallow. Did you get kicked in the chest?” Jin tore Taehyung’s white button up shirt open in one quick motion and helped him remove his light gray blazer and the stab vest.

“More like stomped on.” Taehyung looked down at his chest to see the beginning of multiple dark bruises and a few incisions he hadn’t felt before.

“Oh fuck.” He heard Jimin curse as he looked at Taehyung’s chest.

“My head is pounding.” Taehyung complained. He felt his head painfully expand and deflate with every beat of his heart.

“Is your vision blurry?” Jin flashed a light in his eyes.

Taehyung blinked a few times to clear his eyes but it didn’t work. “A bit.”

“Yeonjun, get him a bed at the ward. Once he’s admitted, get a chest x-ray, right hand x-ray, and a head CT.”

“Yes sir.” Yeonjun disappeared into a small room within the infirmary.

“Why did you get attacked?” Jin’s tone was cool, but he could see the concern in his eyes.

Taehyung couldn’t hold back the hiss that came when Jin placed a frigid stethoscope on his chest. “I don’t know. He looked so determined. He was reaching for the money, but that guy wanted to kill me. I could feel it.” His body trembled as he recalled the way in which the man looked at him.

Jin made eye contact with him briefly before examining Taehyung’s swollen wrist. “Do you think someone sent him to kill you?”

“Maybe? The only person I can think of who would want to kill me is Woosung.”

He briefly remembered the snap of a neck before shivering and forcing the sound out of his ears.

Suga and Jimin visibly tensed but Jin remained calm. “Took him long enough.”

Jimin walked towards Jin with the intent to hurt him.

Jin put up a hand to stop Jimin without looking away from Taehyung. “You know I’m joking Spine Breaker. Sit down.” He said firmly.

“It’s nothing to joke about. You weren’t there. You don’t know what it was like for Taehyung.” Jimin said furiously, clearly having been offended by the mention of Woosung and the nickname, yet he reclaimed his place in the corner of the room without further argument.

Suga furrowed his brow. “It doesn’t make any sense. It’s been so long since that happened. Why would he retaliate now?”

Jimin didn’t try to hide the bitterness in his tone. “Why don’t you ask him? You’re the one who fucks him.”

The look Suga gave Jimin was bone chilling.

The room dropped a few degrees as the tension between the two became unbearable for them and their spectators. Jimin refused to meet Suga’s eyes, keeping his raging gaze focused on Taehyung’s wounds.

Taehyung was willing to do everything to not hear them argue for the millionth time today. “Have you talked to him recently?” He asked Suga before grunting in pain when Jin cleaned the wound on his neck.

“Yes. We didn’t discuss anything to do with you.” Suga said flatly.

“If Taehyung is okay then I’m leaving.” Jimin waited for Jin to respond to his statement.

“You can go see him in the hospital.” Jin waved him off and continued working.

Jimin stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Suga couldn’t hide the exasperation on his face even if he wanted to.

Jin let out a noise of amusement. “Remind me to never get on Jimin’s bad side.”

“I’ll see you at the hospital.” Suga sighed quietly before he left the room.

“Those two are never going to stop fighting are they?” Jin chuckled tensely.

“No.” Taehyung answered. He wished he was wrong but he did not see a solution to the problem that plagued his friends and neither did they. Instead of speaking like normal human beings, they settled on passive aggressive comments and insults. Taehyung loved them both, but he was exhausted by their constant battle, so much so he always avoided being around them whenever they were together.

“While they tear each other apart,” Jin picked up a needle and some thread with his sterile gloves. “I’m going to put you back together as well as I can before we send you to the hospital. Yeonjun is still working on the arrangements anyway.” Jin worked quietly but carefully as he stitched up the gash on Taehyung’s neck. His brow was furrowed in both concentration and something else.

“What’s wrong?”

Jin looked away from his work briefly to look at Taehyung’s face. “You could have died, that's what’s wrong.” He moved his gaze back to his neck and continued working. “You almost died and I can guarantee you something like this will happen again.”

Taehyung pinned his gaze on the dark ceiling. “Maybe it’s not Woosung, maybe it’s Taemoo.”

“Maybe it is.” Jin said seriously.

Jin was the only person that didn’t flinch whenever Taehyung brought up the idea of his own father being the one conspiring against his life. Taehyung had given the man more than enough reasons for him to end his life that he was surprised he had let him live this long, especially when he had another child whom he seemed to tolerate.

“Will you see him tonight? Or do you have a client?’ Taehyung asked, knowing he would hate the answer that left Jin’s glossy red lips.

Jin snipped the string of the last stitch and looked at the leftover thread. “Client.”

Taehyung tightened his sore fists in rage.

Jin noticed and removed his gloves to place one of his warm hands on Taehyung’s. He opened his fist and allowed Jin to thread their fingers together.

Taehyung’s breathing quickened and his eyes began to sting. “I’m-”

“Don’t say what I know you’re going to say.” Jin stopped him, his tone firm. “You are not and will never be responsible for Taemoo’s actions. It’s Taemoo’s fault I cannot be free. Not yours .” Jin squeezed his hand. “I would have stayed by your side even if I knew what was coming.” He said quietly before moving Taehyung’s hair off his brow and kissing his temple.

His words did nothing to numb Taehyung’s sickening guilt. He couldn’t even look his friend in the eye anymore. He could see buried pain in Jin’s eyes every time he laughed and smiled. He could see how much the incarceration had taken away from his friend who tried to remain bright even after being forced to be his father’s whore.

“You don’t deserve this.” Taehyung tightened his free fist.

“I’m glad you think well enough of me to wish for me to have a better life than I do.” He smiled and squeezed his hand a bit tighter before letting go.

“The bed is ready.” Yeonjun walked in with the gurney for the ambulance. “Dr. Hong is expecting us.”

“I’ll go see you once I’m done here. Don’t worry about anything, just heal.” Jin smiled before leaving the room.

Yet how could Taehyung not worry when Jin’s eyes were drowning in it?

As Jin suspected, Taehyung had three fractured ribs, a minor concussion, and a fractured wrist. His hospital stay had been brief and so had his friend’s visits. Jungkook had made it to the hospital, still in full riding gear, the moment Taehyung was being discharged. He had rushed back from wherever Taemoo had forced him to go after his fight and rode to the hospital without knowing what kind of condition Taehyung was in. 

Jungkook slammed the door open, and looked around frantically. His relief was visible despite him still wearing his helmet. 

“Taehyung.” Jungkook said, relieved. Taehyung smiled with bloody split lips while he sat at the edge of the hospital bed alone. Jungkook pulled off his helmet, his messy black hair matted in sweat, and went to embrace Taehyung gently. He sighed. “What happened? Why are you getting hurt when you know how much I hate seeing you like this?”

“It wasn’t a choice.” Taehyung mumbled into Jungkook’s jacket.

Jungkook pulled back and held Taehyung at arms length to examine his injuries. Taehyung could imagine what Jungkook was seeing despite him not having seen himself yet. Random areas on his legs and arms were patched up with stitches, some under gauze, others open to air. His entire torso was wrapped up in tight, thick bandages to help support his broken ribs. His right wrist was supported by a small brace while his face was so bruised there was more skin that was colored than not. His eyes were bloodshot and the area around them was dark. His lips were split open with blood and his jaw was bruised purple. The one area that Jungkook couldn’t keep his eyes off was Taehyung’s neck. Jin had left his stitches open to air, leaving the large slit visible for all to see.

“Hyung.” Jungkook said shakily and looked up to meet his eyes. The younger male had always had large and youthful sparkly eyes yet he had never looked so young and sad as he did in that moment. “You’re hurt.”

Taehyung laughed lightly but stopped himself when the motion sent pain through his chest.

Jungkook kept his glossy eyes on Taehyung’s neck. “You could have died.”

Taehyung smiled. “I’m not going to die. I won’t leave you behind all by yourself.”

Jungkook picked up Taehyung’s good hand and squeezed it before forcing them to lock eyes. “You promise?”

Taehyung leaned forward. “I promise.” He reached up with his fractured wrist and wiped away the tear that had spilled from Jungkook’s eye.

Jungkook stepped back and wiped his tears away quickly. “Let’s get you dressed.” He said as he sniffed.

Jumping onto Jungkook’s motorcycle after having a near death experience did not sound very safe to Suga. 

Suga had gone to the bathroom when Jungkook had arrived but he came just in time to hear the younger man’s offer. The two argued about what was best for Taehyung until Suga won. His cousin drove him to his apartment while promising to nurse him back to health despite Taehyung’s protests. Jungkook had driven close behind them, scouting the area for anyone who would want to hurt Taehyung again.

As soon as Taehyung was settled on the couch Jungkook decided to use the shower while the two cousins chatted. Suga sat across from Taehyung in the living room of his apartment, inspecting the swirling glass of liquor in his hand. His dark brown eyes had light pink rims around them, dry from exhaustion yet his appearance still resembled that of a white tiger. Porcelain skin, silver hair, and a suit the color of rain clouds. His feline eyes were the most tiger-like feature about him as well as the ferocity he held in his heart.

Taehyung had always felt intimidated drinking around Suga. He was some kind of master of liquor that seemed to know everything about every liquor. Taehyung knew Suga would never ridicule him for drinking something in the wrong way. He would help him and educate him on the right way to do it, but Taehyung’s pride was too big to let him do that.

Instead, Taehyung watched as Suga’s eyes narrowed slightly and then returned to normal before taking a careful sip of the amber liquid. Taehyung found it cute how his right eye narrowed slightly more than his left due his eyes being slightly uneven.

Although Suga was Taehyung’s cousin, he was also his friend. Taehyung didn’t have much contact with anyone besides those who worked at the club but he didn’t need anyone else, his hyungs and Jungkook made him happy. There was just one more person he longed for, one he had lost a long time ago.

He was content with the people around him, he only wished they could live their lives as normal people. He wished they could live domestic lives like the one that Jin should have never been dragged out of.

“You know Jin’s new assistant? Yeonjun?” 

“What about him?” Suga ran his left hand through his silver hair and rested it on the lower part of the back of his head, the scar on his wrist as metallic as ever.

“I’m worried about him,” Taehyung admitted.

“You think he’s going to hurt you?” Suga raised his eyebrows while trying to hide his smile.

“No! As if he could.” Taehyung scoffed.

Suga raised a brow.

He raised his braced hand and pointed to the wraps on his bare chest. “I’m broken right now, anyone can hurt me. You know that’s not what I mean. He’s handsome. What if Taemoo looks at him too closely and takes a liking to him?”

Suga picked up his glass again and swirled it as he processed Taehyung’s words. “Like he did with Jin?” He watched as Taehyung nodded before continuing. “Taemoo will take anyone he wants regardless of how worried you are or how hard you try to keep them from him.”

Taehyung knew the words were meant to be reassuring but that didn’t erase any of the guilt he still felt for what had happened with Jin. “Why Jin? Why couldn’t he take someone else?”

“He won’t stop until he gets what he wants. He brainwashed my brother into killing our parents. He took advantage of my parent’s deaths to take over my father’s position. He killed Jungkook’s father for fame. He pulled his son’s friend into this world against his will, despite you having begged him not to. Taemoo may be my uncle but he’s a real piece of shit.” He took another drink from his glass before refilling it. It was then that Taehyung noticed his alcohol supply was more stocked than usual.

“You haven’t been around much recently. Have you been busy with something?”

Suga nodded before putting his glass down and resting his arms on his knees. “I’ve been tracking down an ex-military assassin.”

Taehyung scoffed, unimpressed, “For what? To replace Agust? Will Taemoo hire him to assassinate me?” He picked up his own glass of water and chugged it down. Apparently pain meds and alcohol didn’t mix well.

“Don’t say things like that. He’s still your father.” He was sure Suga didn’t find reassurance in his own words. Suga had been horrified the first time Taehyung had accused his father of something so atrocious yet it seemed the more he learned about his own uncle the more he understood where he came from.

“Oh please. He may be your uncle but you have no idea what he’s really like.” He slammed his glass on the coffee table with too much force, causing the glass to shatter all over the table and floor. Taehyung held onto the edge of the table to choke back the rage that was beginning to boil over in his chest. His breaths were coming out ragged and fast. He knew he would break something else if he didn’t calm himself down. Taehyung took a deep sigh and looked back at his cousin. “Sorry I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you. It’s him that makes me angry, not you.”

Suga waved an arm dismissively and shook his head before leaning back and closing his eyes. Taehyung thought he had fallen asleep until he spoke again, his eyes remaining closed. “Has Jin given you an update?”

“No.” Taehyung hadn’t been surprised when his friend had approached him with the lack of intel, but he was still disappointed. Not in Jin, but in not knowing where his mother was.

“If Taemoo is hiding her, he’s hiding her well.” Suga pointed out.

“She’s probably the one hiding from us, if she’s alive of course. She hated me as much as she hated him. She has no reason for her to let herself be found.” Taehyung’s voice lowered at the end, not wanting to hear his own words.

His mother was not a good mother whatsoever, but she was still his mother. Children with awful parents always end up loving them or hating them. He had never understood what exactly determined which way a child would go but he knew which way he had gone. He was a child that loved his mother despite how awful she was. He hoped she would come to his sporting events at school despite her never coming to a single one before. He hoped she would come talk to his teachers for parent teacher conferences despite her never having dropped him off at school or the bus stop. He always had hoped that she would one day show up for him. He always longed for her love and affection while never realizing he would never receive it.

He knew better than that now, yet he still loved her. All he wanted was to see her again and know she was okay. All he wanted was to know why she had left him behind when he loved her so much.

“She really didn’t stop by the Min mansion before she disappeared?” Taehyung asked.

Suga shook his head. “My father also looked for her before he died but he couldn’t find a trace of his only sister. They weren’t on the greatest terms to begin with so I’m sure she would have never let her pride take her to see the older brother our grandparents always overlooked her for.”

Taehyung looked down at the broken glass and wondered how much his grandparents had broken her down for her to have been as miserable and bitter as she had been. “I’ve told Jin to stop looking for someone who doesn’t want to be found. He’s risking his life for nothing. I don’t want to find her anymore.” At least that’s what Taehyung kept trying to convince himself of.

Suga sighed, “As much as we all would like Jin to stop putting his life on the line, you know he won’t stop. You also know that he’s your best bet at finding her.“

Taehyung wanted to throw a knife at something every time he thought about it. He tried to distract himself by cleaning up the bits of glass before Suga moved his hands away. “Let me do it. I’m staying over tonight.” 

“So am I!” Jungkook shouted from the bathroom.

“I can take care of myself.” Taehyung insisted.

“No you can’t, you’re all beat up. Don't argue with me.” Suga placed all of the broken pieces into his large palm.

He was right. Taehyung didn’t know how he would have gotten washed up and in bed without Jungkook’s help. He tried to do things alone but his wrist and ribs made it difficult for him to do anything even with the assistance of the painkillers. Jungkook helped him do everything without complaint or impatience. Once Taehyung was tucked in bed, Jungkook pulled out two extra comforter sets before laying down to sleep on the floor next to him.

“Why are you doing that when you know you can’t sleep?” Taehyung asked as he watched him.

Jungkook shrugged. “I find it easier to sleep when I am around you. Suga hyung will make a nice pillow too. How could I not sleep?” He smiled.

“If you wake me I will kill you.” Suga said sleepily as he laid down next to Jungkook. Taehyung watched as Suga’s feline eyes closed and his breathing began to even out. His lips formed a small pout as his respiratory rate decreased.

How could such a terrifying man be so cute?

He looked like the boy from his childhood, the boy once known as Min Yoongi. He remembered how much fun they had in their early days in Daegu, playing outside in the sun all day at the Min Mansion. Those sunny days ended once Taehyung was forced to move to Jumunjin.

Suga’s phone interrupted Taehyung’s memories and his sleep. Suga groaned before looking at the contact name. He groaned louder then.

“What do you want? What time? Okay.” He hung up and found Taehyung’s curious gaze. “The Spine Breaker is reminding me that Taemoo expects the assassin to fight on Saturday.” His tone was nothing but sarcastic. “I don’t know why the fuck I needed to be reminded.” He threw the covers back on himself aggressively and turned on his side to face his back to Taehyung’s bed.

Jungkook and Taehyung laughed quietly, muffling their laughter with their comforter.

Taehyung remembered what Suga had said earlier about the new member being an ex-assassin in the military and wondered if a killer had a place in their club. His skills would definitely be of service but his ties to the law would likely bring trouble. Either way, the man would be given a choice that was not really a choice.

Join or die.

That is how things worked in Hybe. For Bang Sihyuk, the only escape was death.

Taehyung woke up alone.

There were two familiar voices greeting each other in the hall although it was not who he had expected them to be. Suga and Jimin were exchanging cold greetings in the hall outside his bedroom. If someone were to see how frigidly they treated each other now, they would never have guessed that the two had been in love once.

Taehyung used everything in him not to grunt out in pain once he tried to get out of bed but he failed miserably. 

Jimin rushed in and practically carried him in order to sit him up. “I take it you won’t be able to fight this weekend?” He teased as he sat on the corner of the bed.

“Absolutely not. I won’t be able to fight for a while. Why?” He placed a hand over his bandaged ribs and rested his head on the headboard.

Jimin’s tone was cautious as he ran a hand through his pale ashy blonde hair. “Taemoo is promoting the fight club. He wants to bring in new clients so he wants us to fight on Saturday.”

“Including RM? Doesn’t he need everyone in their regular positions? We’re not part of the regular line up for a reason.”

“You know how he is. He wants us to make time for one fight. Every one of us except for Suga. He will go to Woosung’s club that day to collect.” His lips turned down briefly as the mention of Woosung. “Collecting is just as important as new clients so Taemoo won’t make him fight, plus, I don’t think he wants the new clients to get scared away if they get sprayed with blood.”

He remembered the last fight Suga had participated in. His sword had pierced his opponent’s femoral artery, leaving his blood to spray so far that some of the spectators caught a bit more than a few drops. It was one of the many reasons Suga never fought. His messes took too long to clean up and left the crowd impatient when moving onto the next fight.

“I think he will be okay on his own for one day of collection.” Jimin continued. “He’s going to take back up, don't worry.” He said once Taehyung’s brow furrowed in concern. “Seungcheol will cover for RM when he fights. I guess I can spare a few minutes as well.” He shrugged.

“You too?” Taehyung asked cautiously as he remembered what kind of relationship Jimin had with the ring.

He nodded. “He wants to show them that the place is managed by someone competent who knows their way around the ring.”

Taehyung nodded although he was not in agreement. It was clearly not enough for Taemoo to make Jimin the manager and the quartermaster of the club. He always had to add another burden on everyone’s backs if it meant there could be more money in his pocket. “Do you know which clients he’s bringing? They must be extremely important if he wants you to fight too.”

“The mayor, some stockholders in the electronics market, and a few men close to the chief of police.”

“The mayor?” It was normal for there to be people from high society in the crowd, especially those with ties to the government. The mayor was one that Taemoo was trying to keep away, knowing that he would likely be one to blackmail them if he found out.

“Someone from the mayor’s office recorded a video of the fight club. The mayor is blackmailing us with it now. That’s why Taemoo changed the staff around so much recently, especially after what happened with Geunwon.”

“I hope it bites him in the ass and Hybe crumbles, at least the part under Taemoo’s control.” Taehyung gripped the sheets below him.

“It seems like we all want that these days, don't we?” Jimin’s smile was sad and his eyes were distant.

Taehyung looked out of his window towards the rooftops of Seoul. He lived in one of the taller buildings in Seoul which allowed him to view most of the city including the Han river. They were so secluded in the underground club that he often forgot there was an entire world out there for them to see. A world that Taehyung used to translate on paper. He gleaned over at his old sketchbooks which held beautiful pieces of the world he wanted to revisit. 

One named Jung Hoseok.

“What would you do if you could leave the gang?” He asked Jimin, knowing that he had once been a man with big dreams.

Jimin gave him a small smile although there was no real hope in his artificially blue eyes. “I would probably try to become a dancer again but, I don’t want to think about things that aren’t possible.” His smile fell. “Let’s get you dressed.” 

He didn’t miss the way his friend’s mood remained downcast the rest of the morning, so much that he had regretted asking him anything else. Although Jimin had not mentioned it, Taehyung knew that his dreams also included Min Yoongi. Taehyung couldn’t reassure him either because he, too, knew the truth about the lives they currently lived.

The only thing they had to look forward to was their deaths.

Song: UGH! by BTS

The blows RM delivered were painfully audible

Taehyung didn’t catch his opponent’s names but he certainly caught some of the blood that flew out of one of their mouths.

RM had been placed in the ring with four other men in his weight class. Three had already been dragged out and taken to the infirmary while the last one was running away from RM.

RM was a large man. He was extremely tall with a broad frame. His arms and legs were like iron rods and his shoulders were as wide as the Pacific Ocean. His thighs were almost the size of tree trunks. Taehyung had made the mistake of challenging RM to a wrestling match once. That was the day he understood why there was such a thing as a weight class in wrestling. He was sure RM had enough strength to crush anyone’s skull with his thighs.

RM was a terror in the ring. To make it worse his specialty was MMA fighting. RM could murder someone with a single finger if he wanted to. Every movement of his was violent. Even his breaths were terrifying as they were reminiscent of growls.

The crowd cheered every time RM struck his opponent. The crowd cheered loudly as RM was beating his opponent to a pulp without allowing him any chances to counter.

RM wiped his gray dragon eyes free from the sweat dripping off his forehead all the way down to his broad muscled chest which was glistening with sweat. Beads of sweat dripped down from his collarbones down to his perfectly sculpted abdomen. 

Although his final opponent was in his same weight class, RM towered over him, more intimidating than the Greek statues that circled the pit. His body was that of a man who was built for violence. His long legs crossed the large circular fighting ground faster than Taehyung could process. It looked as if each stride allowed him to easily cover a few meters. RM’s approach towards his opponent was that of a rhinoceros running furiously towards their prey. 

His opponent had currently received a powerful kick to the chest that sent him flying from one side of the ring to the other. The muscles in RM’s back folded over each other and flexed as he lifted one heavily wrapped first and knocked his opponent out in one final blow.

People were already stepping into the ring to drag his opponent into the infirmary before the match was called.

RM stepped back and shook the sweat out of his yellow mullet.

Chan rang the bell and lifted RM’s fist in the air, “K.O.! VICTORY!” He yelled.

RM yelled out in triumph before swiping his opponents blood off of his plump lower lip. 

The hundreds of people in the crowd roared in approval and so did the spectators that Taemoo brought in for the night. A few greasy old men and women sat in the VIP seats where Taemoo sat, cheering and smiling with perfect veneers. The more Taehyung stared the more he realized there was something off about Taemoo’s appearance that he could not put his finger on. Was he wearing makeup?

RM swiped the blood off on his golden glistening chest carelessly and walked towards the end of the pit where he finally spotted Taehyung standing next to the rows of cheering people.

“Taehyung!” RM’s voice was distorted by the mouthguard.

RM put his arms out for them to hug. Taehyung returned the smile and accepted the hug although he should have known better. RM squeezed him and clapped his back with the amount of force that Taehyung should have known to expect. Taehyung grunted in pain, so shocked at the severity of it that he became dizzy.

RM pulled back immediately, icy eyes wide. “I’m so sorry! I forgot!” He said with his mouth guard still in. He waved his large hands in front of himself helplessly. A huge part of RM’s charm was that he was the kindest person known to man when he wasn’t ramming his fist into someone’s skull.

He couldn’t blame the man for channeling so much force into their embrace. Taehyung hardly looked injured when he was wearing his full brown suit. The incision on his neck was barely visible and the bruises and scabs on his face were beginning to heal although he still wore the brace on his wrist and his ribs were still heavily wrapped.

“It’s okay.” Taehyung put an arm around his friend, suddenly needing the support to stand as he walked.

RM’s eyes revealed a hint of understanding and then quickly switched back to his kind expression, bearing all the weight Taehyung placed on him.

RM removed his mouth guard and began unwrapping his knuckles as he walked towards the locker rooms where the fighters washed up. “Thanks for coming to watch me.” He patted his shoulder gently as they walked. “You’re the only one that came to watch.”

The people around them cheered for RM as they made their way back to the showers so he could wash up and return to his post.

“It wasn’t just me. Jungkook and Jin were there but Taemoo had them sitting with him and the VIP’s.”

RM’s expression became obscure and his voice deepened. “Of course. He thinks they’re his trophies… or pets.” He ripped the remaining wraps off his wrists. “I want to drag Taemoo into the ring and-”

“Someday.” Taehyung stopped him as he did not want his friend’s comments to add fuel to the rage he already felt for his own father. “One day you will get your revenge and so will Jin and Jungkook.” RM furrowed his brows and nodded stiffly, lost in his own dark thoughts. “When is it Jimin’s turn?”

“He already went.” RM said, still lost in thought. “His opponent was a professional Taekowndo competitor paid for by the mayor. The fight would have ended immediately if Jimin wanted it to but you know how much he likes to play with his food. Or more like he’s forced to.” He frowned at the end.

“As always, Jimin is forced to hide his skill so he can put on a show for them.” Taehyung remembered the day Jimin was finally instated as a fighter. Taemoo had told him he broke his opponent’s spines too quickly and put on a boring show. Since then Jimin had been forced to drag out fights that he could have ended quickly. Taehyung saw it as an insult to his skill but Taemoo saw it as a show that would bring in money.

“A show means money for Taemoo. That’s all he cares about.” RM’s tone became harsh at the end. “The people below him mean nothing to him.”

“He’s a greedy bastard. He doesn’t give a fuck about what happens to anyone as long as he’s making money.”

RM nodded as they heard the loud Park Jaebom trying to entertain a crowd in the locker room with his cheap magic tricks.

RM began stripping down. “I’m glad I won, but I feel bad about doing that to those guys.” The guilt in his tone was evident. “But who knows what Taemoo would have done to me if I hadn’t destroyed them.” His eyes were distant.

Once Taemoo had taken over for Yoongi’s father, he had made sure no one left the ring unless they were a victor, unconscious, or dead. That meant RM had to beat his opponent to the point of unconsciousness for him to come out of the ring alive. Victors won double the prize money if they managed to kill their opponent before they became unconscious but RM had never wanted to do that, regardless of how much he was paid. Thankfully Seongsu had shown Taemoo that RM had even more brains than brawn which meant he was used to collect intel instead.

Taehyung nodded. “You did what you had to do. I’m going to find Jimin. I’ll let you wash up. See you around hyung.” He gave RM a pat on the shoulders before leaving.

RM nodded before turning into the showers.

Taehyung felt his anxiety beginning to creep when he stepped back into the arena. Everyone seemed to have mistaken him for the next opponent and began cheering for him. 

“Is V going to fight again!?” He heard a regular customer ask the person sitting next to him.

“He used to be my favorite to watch when he was a kid!” His neighbor responded. “There was something in his eyes I didn’t like, but I couldn’t look away!”

“Look, it's V!” Another said excitedly. “I’m going to bet all I have on him.”

They gave confused stares once Taehyung went to sit down next to Jimin.

He suddenly began to feel ill.

He hadn’t had a bout of anxiety in a long time. Even his recent encounters with death hadn’t triggered it so why now? Why somewhere so familiar? Nothing triggered his anxiety as far as Taehyung was aware of. It just came and went as it pleased, just like it was doing now. It was just creeping up on him slowly, suddenly, convincing him that he was going to die.

Taehyung found Jimin seated behind Taemoo’s guests and Jungkook. “How was your fight?” He asked his friend. Taehyung did not hear Jimin’s response, he was only trying to fight off the anxiety inside him. There was still blood in the ring left from RM’s match. There were so many people talking and so much light coming from the ceiling lights. Jimin was talking to him but he wasn’t listening. 

He was just so overwhelmed . The terrifying feeling inside him was building and building and building-

“Fighter’s please enter the ring!” Chan announced.

Song: An Old Farmer’s Smile by Macabre Plaza

Taehyung’s thoughts were interrupted by a man entering the ring.

The world seemed to slow down at that moment.

The man was otherworldly. His stride was both graceful and powerful and his gaze exuded competence.

He took off his jacket in almost slow motion and tossed it aside. He rolled the sleeves of his white button up all the way to his elbows showcasing his toned forearms which held an array of silver scars of various shades, lengths, and depths. He pushed his black bangs back slowly before removing a gold watch off of his left wrist and tossing it on top of his jacket. His thighs struggled against the fabric of his slacks as he swiftly went up the few steps to the fighting ring. 

Not only was his beauty on another level, but he exuded expertise. It was obvious in the cold but focused expression on his face and his capable stance.

The man’s warm and pretty brown eyes focused on his opponent but Taehyung wished they were focused on him.

His small pointed nose twitched slightly before he turned to receive the mouth guard Chan handed him. His face was scarred beyond belief but it did nothing to take away from his beauty. His side profile was just as gorgeous as his front profile. His sharp jaw and pointed chin were held forward at an angle that only a humble but competent man would hold. 

There were a few buttons of his white button up shirt undone revealing a set of pretty collarbones which were revealed completely once he removed his shirt. His torso was lean, strong, and toned perfectly. Just like his face, the skin of his back and chest were striped with scars of various shapes, lengths, and colors.

The crowd whispered about the newcomer’s appearance but Taehyung ignored them. The man examined the mouth guard quickly before putting it in place between his heart shaped lips in one swift move.

Taehyung flinched when the man’s head turned to face them suddenly.

He looked at Jimin and then locked eyes with Taehyung.

Taehyung felt warmth spread through his chest and up to the back of his neck.

His face was not one that someone forgets about, nor one that someone ever lets them pass by without loving them first.

The end of Chan’s announcement then reached Taehyung’s ears, “... Jung Hoseok!” He pointed an arm at the man who had once again captured all of Taehyung in a mere second.

I’ve finally found you, Jung Hoseok.

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF KIM TAEHYUNG

February 18, 1981

Taehyung wasn’t really excited about attending the school pep rally but he didn’t have much of a choice. The entire student body was being forced to attend the annual event. The walk to the auditorium wasn’t long but the rain made it feel longer than it should have. Jungkook suggested that they sneak off and wander the halls while the faculty supervised the students in the auditorium. Jimin and Taehyung eagerly agreed.

They walked around the school with no rhyme or reason. They talked and walked, climbed things, and occasionally hid from other staff who had decided to ditch as well.

After a few minutes of wandering around the halls, they heard a faint whisper of music in the distance. They all presumed it was music from the pep rally but the music got louder as they walked down the hall. Jimin made a comment about the dance room being nearby. As they got closer, they spotted a figure casting shadows through the windows of the classroom. The glass of the room shook with the beat of the loud music and the ground beneath them rumbled. Whoever was there had no fear of being caught. They tiptoed towards the room and squatted down to peer into the window.

Song: Smoke Coming From A Cabin in the Distance by Macabare Plaza

That’s when he saw the beacon.

Taehyung couldn’t describe him as anything other than a beacon used to guide Taehyung towards him. 

The beacon took off his uniform jacket in almost slow motion and tossed it aside. He rolled the sleeves of his white button up all the way to his elbows. His golden colored toned forearms moved with the beat while his legs followed. He pushed his short dark brown hair back slowly before performing a series of boy rolls that made Taehyung go weak in the knees. The beacon’s thighs struggled against the fabric of his slacks as he danced to the beat.

He had never seen anyone with such a presence .

Not only was his beauty on another level, but he exuded confidence in an attractive way. It was present in the proud but focused expression on his face and his competent movements.

His small pointed nose twitched slightly before he turned to dance closer to the person sitting in the corner. His side profile was just as gorgeous as his frontal profile. His sharp jaw and pointed chin were held forward at an angle that only a humble but confident man would hold.

The other male sitting in the corner ignored the beacon dancing in front of him and continued writing in a notebook while bopping his head to the beat. Although he was sitting he was noticeably tall and broad. His hair was buzzed and he wore a pair of thin round glasses with thick lenses that would probably break as soon as his large hands touched them.

The beacon laughed and continued dancing. He then provocatively undid a few buttons of his shirt, revealing a set of pretty collarbones.  His pretty brown eyes twinkled in the sun and his mouth made a heart shape when he smiled.

That was the last thing Taehyung needed to see before he was completely convinced he was completely consumed by the beacon.

The other male looked up at him and flashed a set of perfect teeth and two deep set dimples. 

Taehyung felt a pang of jealousy then.

The tall male pushed his glasses up and laughed shyly.

The beacon danced more seductively in response and their laughter increased in volume.

Jung Hoseok. He thought as he read the nametag on the jacket on the floor.

Taehyung’s chest ached in response. There was an uncomfortable sorrow in his heart that bordered on pure joy. He didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling. He couldn’t even explain it properly. All he knew was that wanted nothing more than to run in there and hold the beacon in his arms. 

Jungkook and Jimin had been conversing quietly as they watched, but Taehyung wasn’t listening. Not until Jimin made a huge commotion once Jungkook shoved him out of his squatting position.

This caused both males in the room to turn in their direction. The beacon looked at Jimin and then locked eyes with Taehyung. Taehyung quickly hid his face once he felt warmth spread through his chest and up to the back of his neck.

His heart was thumping aggressively in his chest when he instructed his friends to run. They ran in no particular direction with no goal. All he could think about was the bright beacon in the dance room. His face was not one that someone forgets about, nor one that someone ever lets them pass by without loving them first.

He would never let him pass by without loving him first.

I’ll find you again, Jung Hoseok.

January 11, 1993

If there was one person Taehyung would never forget, it was the bright boy who made his teenage years the happiest.  The sweet boy with the heart shaped smile. The one whose smile warmed the air and beckoned the sun to rise every morning.  The one who Taehyung had promised to find. The one who he looked for every day at school and continued searching for after years.

Taehyung hadn’t forgotten, but would Hoseok remember him? Would he have held onto the feelings they shared so long ago just like Taehyung had?

His suspicions were confirmed when Hoseok didn’t hold onto Taehyung’s gaze like he had hoped he would.

Instead, he turned his attention to Chan who was asking him to remove his shoes. He took off his shoes and didn’t flinch once his skin made contact with the frigid stone below him.

His main opponent, Jiwon, was solely wearing a pair of boxing shorts. The second opponent who would be fighting alongside Jiwon seemed to realize what Taehyung had known immediately.

Neither of them would survive against Hoseok.

Jiwon looked as if he was confident to take on Hoseok. Jiwon had always been a fool and a joke of a fighter and it was evident now. He was underestimating Hoseok and it was going to bite him in the ass, hard. Even a blind man would have been able to tell what kind of man he had in front of him. Taehyung had not seen Hoseok in a decade nor had he considered what kind of training he had been through since then. He had never seen the old Hoseok participate in any type of violence, but he knew this new Hoseok could take down anyone in his path.

There was something in his eyes that exuded determination and confidence. There was something in his stance that screamed competence.

Jiwon was clearly no match for Hoseok. Taemoo had not seen that when deciding the match up even if he had decided to add a second fighter to put up against Hoseok. All one needed was one glance at Hoseok to see that he had a skillset beyond an underground fight club. There was something about him that exuded raw power and expertise. It was clear that he was a fighter beyond the physical sense. 

It was clear that if Hoseok were faced with death, he would be the one delivering it.

Jiwon began taunting Hoseok, as expected. “You’re the new guy everyone’s been talking about huh? You don’t look like you belong here which probably means you don’t. Don’t worry, I’ll send you right back to where you came from.” He winked unattractively before putting his mouthguard in. Taehyung wanted to super glue it into his mouth so he would shut up. He was making a lot of exaggerated and threatening lunges towards Hoseok but the man didn’t react. He only bowed respectfully and waited for the match to begin.

Once Chan signaled for them to begin, Jiwon made a show of rushing forward and launching five successive blows which Hoseok countered quickly and effortlessly before shoving him back. Each sound of impact echoed through the silent crowd which seemed to be holding their breaths in anticipation of the new face in the ring. Jiwon wasted no time in continuing his attempts to strike him, but he was unsuccessful. Jiwon’s partner was clearly afraid but he had tried to sneak up on Hoseok by throwing a kick at his head. Hoseok had ducked to dodge the kick the man had initiated and spun on his left heel to deliver a forceful kick to his face with the back of his right foot. The man’s neck twisted at a gruesome angle and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

The crowd gasped in unison as the face planted into the ground, unconscious.

Taemoo enjoyed fights the most when they ended in death. This one seemed like it might have with the way his cervical spine had twisted. He had almost felt the impact of the blow through the air. There was no way he was getting up and if he did, his jaw would not be in one piece. It almost looked as if the man wasn’t breathing. Taehyung felt his trachea contract.

Breathe fucker, breathe.

He wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or the man.

Jiwon lunged towards Hoseok immediately, not showing a speck of concern for his partner who was down. Hoseok let him get a few blows in although he was not taking any damage. Jiwon was backing Hoseok into the cage which he gripped to hold himself up as he used both legs to kick Jiwon in the chest. Jiwon flew back and slammed his head on the concrete, hard. His face scrunched in pain as he held his head. 

Hoseok circled the man pensively, deciding how to finish him off.

Jiwon tried to kick Hoseok’s legs out of him unsuccessfully before standing again. His balance was off but his eyes were determined. He tried to connect his fist with Hoseok’s face but the latter caught his arm instead and threw him over his back. He climbed the cage faster than anyone could process all while carrying Jiwon on his back before throwing him headfirst over the cage at Taemoo’s feet.

The crowd went silent as the snap of Jiwon’s neck echoed in the coliseum. Chan stood with wide eyes for a few seconds before he remembered he was supposed to be counting down. He counted down from five slowly while he opened the cage and walked down the steps to check Jiwon’s pulse. He looked as unconscious as his partner who lay a meter away from Hoseok. Jiwon finally took a breath once Chan’s hand touched him, but he remained unconscious and likely quadriplegic.

Chan’s eyes widened in excitement when he ran back up into the cage held up Hoseok's right arm. “K.O. VICTORY!”

The crowd’s outburst was so powerful it was likely felt upstairs in the club. Taehyung’s relief could probably be felt up there too.

“Whoa!” Jungkook said excitedly, his admiring gaze locked onto Hoseok. “He needs to teach me how to climb the cage like that.”

“He’s good but we’ll see what Taemoo thinks. He won’t be happy it ended so quickly.” Jimin said quietly as Taemoo was only sitting a few feet away in his throne.

“I think the assassin could have ended it before it even began but he chose not to.” Taehyung said so quietly his friends likely didn’t hear him over the roar of the crowd. 

The assassin.

Hoseok was an assassin.

What happened in the ten years they have been apart? How is it that the man he thought of as the purest man on earth had become an assassin? How much had Hoseok been hurt these past years? Did Hoseok remember Taehyung? Taehyung’s thoughts raced as people blew horns and tossed money around while they spilled their drinks cheering for the victor.

Jiwon’s body was lifted up off the floor by the staff before being dragged out. His head lolled back as blood dripped from his face and down to his chest. He was breathing nonetheless.

Taehyung looked away and turned to Hoseok who was, to his surprise, watching him.

It wasn’t until then that Taehyung noticed the many scars on Hoseok’s face and neck. The most disturbing one was the one that began at the corner of his right lip and crawled to the bottom of his right ear. It was fresh, stitches dark and intact. It looked as if someone had tried to cut his smile open. Taehyung’s blood boiled as he thought of someone doing that to Hoseok.

Despite his fury, Taehyung didn’t turn away. He hoped to see some kind of recognition in Hoseok’s eyes, but there was nothing there. Did Hoseok not remember him at all? If he did, did he no longer think of Taehyung? He didn’t know which would be worse. Taehyung’s fear of rejection was so immense he thought of leaving the club for the night. He had nothing to do there since he was injured after all, but he couldn’t be away from Hoseok now that he had finally found him.

Hoseok looked away and bowed with Chan before retrieving his belongings and walking towards Taemoo and his guests. He received many pats on the back and congratulatory words yet he didn’t seem to be aware of any of them. He redid the buttons of his shirt as he walked towards Taemoo to give him a deep bow. Once they shook hands Taehyung realized that this might have been his interview.

“Seems like he might have a job.” Jimin commented as he stood up to join Taemoo.

Taemoo motioned for Hoseok to follow him somewhere along with Taeju, Seongsu, and Dongseok. Taehyung’s legs were moving before he had even made the conscious decision to do so.

“You’re not going to stay and watch Jungkook’s fight?” Jimin asked as he followed after the crowd.

“I can watch another time.” Taehyung waved a dismissive hand before following the man he promised to find again.

Taehyung didn’t want to knock on the large black double doors that led to Taemoo’s office. He wanted to swing the door open as if it were his own office and plop himself down on Taemoo’s couch in the corner. The fucker didn’t deserve the respect anyone gave him and Taehyung wanted him to make sure he knew that. Yet he knew Taemoo would finally kill him if he were to pull off such a disrespectful stunt.

Jimin knocked despite his wishes and they both waited for the doors of the gargantuan office to open. Inside were Suga, Agust, Hoseok, Dongseok, Taeju, and Seongsu. Taemoo was sitting at his grand mahogany desk, long enough to lay an entire alligator on top.

The walls were paneled with dark wood and the floor tile was a dark glossy red. It looked as if one hundred bodies had been drained of blood and it was poured on the floor to solidify. He wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. There were various Greek statues standing along the two walls to the side of the desk displayed like saints are displayed in a church, each with their own cubby and a small light to illuminate them. He imagined Taemoo kneeling down next to one of them and praying. He laughed when he realized Taemoo would never kneel before anyone or anything, no matter how much power they did or did not hold.

The walk to the desk was so long an entire conversation happened as he approached.

“What did you think of his performance sir?” Seongsu asked as he acknowledged Taehyung’s and Jimin’s entrance with a bow. Seongsu was his father’s advisor. He had always been a man of reason, always thinking before speaking and understanding before judging. His transparency had been the reason Taehyung decided not to hate him. Yet he still considered him an as since he stood with Taemoo despite his indifference towards the man.

Everyone on his father’s side was an enemy. Even his half brother.

Taeju had completely ignored Taehyung’s entrance, as he always had. It had been that way ever since he had found out about Taehyung’s existence. Taehyung couldn’t have cared less. He had hated Kim Taeju the day he first saw him on the street. He knew that he could never get along with his father’s other son and he was more than okay with that especially since he was so loyal to their father. Taehyung never understood why Taeju kept himself so close to their father when his heart was not evil like Taemoo’s. They didn’t even look like father and son. Taeju had sharp calculative eyes while Taemoo’s eyes were round and clueless. Taemoo had an unattractive and short beard while Taeju’s face was smooth, clean and sharp. Taeju was tall and broad while Taemoo was short and shapeless.

It was times like these that Taehyung was grateful to have looked like his mother and it was clear Taeju did too. Neither of them had to live with the misfortune of sharing their father’s looks.

“He’s good but he’s not entertaining.” Taemoo turned to Hoseok then. “No one wants to watch a fight that results in an instant K.O.. The audience wants you to drag it out. Make your opponent think they’re going to win and then take them out after taking a few hits. I wasn’t entertained.” Taemoo shook some of the ash off his cigar out onto his ashtray.

“I am not set on being a fighter if you don’t want me in that position. I’d be willing to work wherever I am needed sir.” Hoseok said assertively.

Taemoo tapped his fingers on his desk for an entire minute before speaking. “Well, it seems like you’ll be no use to me. You’re not bringing anything new to our club and we have enough security. I don’t want anyone with ties to the government in my club. You’re dismissed. Thank you for wasting my time. Dongseok, escort him out. Send him back to Bang.” He waved his hand towards Hoseok.

Join or die.

Dongseok reached for the gun at his belt.

Taehyung walked forward to stand between Taemoo’s desk and Hoseok.

“Master Kim.” He gave a ninety degree bow in greeting, cringing at the name he had to use to address the man he hated the most.

Everyone else bowed towards Taehyung. He knew the only reason they did so was because he was the son of the boss, not because they respected or feared him.

“What do you want? I’m busy.” Taemoo sounded as annoyed as he looked. He straightened out the lapels of his gray suit.

“He can be of use to me.” Taehyung glanced at Hoseok and back at Taemoo. “Geunwoo’s position is still empty. Have him collect with me.”

“What?” 

“As you have seen,” Taehyung motioned to his fractured wrist, “Someone is after your money. Hire him to protect it with me.” Taehyung said as matter of factly as he could. “Suga and I are short staffed. We need additional security after what happened with Geunwoo.”

“This doesn’t solve my concern with his connection to the government.” He slammed his cigarette on his desk instead of the ash tray that only sat a few centimeters next to his hand.

“Bang would have never sent you someone who could compromise Hybe. Besides, you keep others with government ties very close to you.” He looked at Seongsu, “What can he do as a mere accountant? If I notice anything suspicious I’ll obtain a liquidation order and kill him myself.” Taehyung internally screamed at the thought.

Taehyung watched Hoseok from the corner of his eye but he didn’t move nor react.

Something sparked in Taemoo then. He turned around and sought Seongsu’s counsel by standing up and pulling him to the side to converse with him in the bathroom connected to his office. No one moved or spoke until they returned.

The door opened loudly.

“Jung Hoseok.” Taemoo sat back down and took a sip of the drink sitting on his left.

“Yes sir.”

“You say you would be willing to work wherever you’re needed, but will you be willing to do whatever you’re needed to do?”

Taehyung didn’t like the implication in his tone. He was sure that Taemoo intended to get him wrapped up in some of his dirty work, if not now then eventually.

“Yes sir.”

“Even kill?”

Goosebumps raised on Taehyung’s arms.

“Yes sir.” Hoseok answered as if it was the most natural request.

“You say you were an assassin. Were you a sniper?”

“No sir. I specialized in melee attacks.”

Taehyung felt like vomiting at the thought of how many close encounters Hoseok likely had with death.

Taemoo shook more ash off his cigar and took a long drag. He leaned back on his chair and looked up at the dark ceiling as he blew out a large cloud of smoke. Taemoo cleared his throat. “Perfect. I’ll let you collect with Taehyung. Suga, get him situated will you?” Taemoo glanced at Suga before making his way back to his desk. “You’re all dismissed.”

They all bowed in unison.

“Yes sir.” Suga bowed and picked up the bags of money he still carried. He purposely used one of the bags to hit Agust in the thigh, who was as pale and stiff as the David. Agust blinked a few times before following Suga.

It was then that Taehyung noticed Agust had been staring at Hoseok.

“Taehyung.” Taemoo called out.

What the fuck do you want?

“Yes?” 

“You better follow through on your promise to kill him.”

Fuck you.

“Of course. Thank you.” Taehyung bowed and turned around to walk out.

“Come with us Mr. Jung Hoseok.” Suga straightened out the lapels of his light gray suit before making his way towards Taehyung’s office.

Suga led the way while Hoseok followed behind. Taehyung walked behind them, watching as the scars on the back of Hoseok’s neck reflected the different lights throughout the halls of the underground maze. Hoseok was taller now, just as tall as Taehyung, and his shoulders were just as wide. The two men had grown since they had last seen each other. They both looked entirely different, he just hoped they hadn’t become so different to the point Hoseok didn’t want to have a personal relationship with him.

Once they arrived in his office, Taehyung sat in his chair and Suga pulled up a chair next to him and began taking out piles of cash from the bags.

Hoseok didn’t sit. He stood in front of Taehyung instead, his figure framed by the forest green walls of the office.

As soon as their eyes met Taehyung’s heart began to thump so hard he could feel it in his chest and hear it in his ears. It was so powerful he wondered if Hoseok could hear it too. The feeling he had felt so long ago rushed back as if it had never left. He was just as infatuated with Hoseok as he had been ten years ago. He wanted to tug him forward and hold him close once again, but Hoseok did not look like he wanted the same thing.

His eyes were watching Taehyung but they were apathetic. He was looking and speaking to Taehyung as if he were his new boss and nothing else. Like a complete stranger.

“Hello. My name is Jung Hoseok. It’s nice to meet you.” He put his hand out for Taehyung to take. He briefly looked at the stitched wound on Taehyung’s neck.

Taehyung thought the situation was nothing but nostalgic as he looked at Hoseok’s outstretched hand. Taehyung didn’t want to waste a single second he had with Hoseok, especially not after all of those years he spent looking for him.

Taehyung stood and took it, “Kim Taehyung. It’s been a long time.”

Hoseok’s hands were colder and more callused than they once were although his touch was just as pleasant.

“Let us forget about the past and start anew. We are both completely different people now are we not?” Hoseok said matter of factly, his face just as flat as before.

Taehyung stiffened and his throat began to close. “I suppose we are.”

“Thank you for understanding and finding me a place here. I hope we work well together.” Hoseok bowed.

Taehyung knew that this was the man he had been searching for for years. He could never forget those heart shaped lips and those high rounded cheekbones. Even his now cold eyes were just as brown and beautiful as he remembered. Maybe even more. So, why was Hoseok asking them to forget about the past? Had Taehyung been so insignificant to Hoseok for him to want to erase their past? Or did he regret everything that happened between them back then?

There was a nasty churning in Taehyung’s chest at the realization.

He really looked at Hoseok’s face then. There were scars all over his face in different shades and lengths but the one that caught his eye was the one that made him the most upset. The incision that was dark red against his warm toned skin. Whoever inflicted that wound had known what beautiful smile Hoseok had and decided to try and take that beauty away from him. He knew that his smile could never lose its light but he hadn’t seen it in ten years. Would it glow just as brightly now as it did then?

Suga kept himself occupied with running the money through the bill counters, but Taehyung knew he was listening.

Taehyung nodded. “I would like to say I look forward to working with you, but I don’t think you belong here. Are you sure you want to work here?” He sat back down and began separating the stacks of money with Suga

Hoseok remained standing. “Yes. I will stay as long as I am not forced to leave.”

“This isn’t a place for those with morals and a conscience. Those things will easily get in the way of you doing your job.” 

“I lost both a long time ago.  I can assure you neither will get in my way.”

Taehyung didn’t like the fact that his voice didn’t hold a sliver of deceit. Taehyung stood up and walked over towards him, their eyes locked the entire time. No matter how close he stood, Hoseok never moved his eyes away. Hoseok was tall, just as tall as Taehyung, and lean. There was definitely more muscle under his black suit than there seemed to be. Taehyung had seen the knife tucked into the back waistband of Hoseok’s pants when they were in Taemoo’s office and he could easily reach it now.

This was the perfect time to scare him away.

Taehyung felt satisfied once he snatched the knife out of Hoseok’s waistband. That was until Hoseok took the knife out of his hand and placed Taehyung in a headlock with the knife pressed against his neck, right against the wound which was still held together with stitches. Hoseok’s face was one of a predator ready to attack its prey yet there was something else behind his eyes. Terror and pain. Taehyung wanted a reaction out of Hoseok, but not this one. He wanted to scare him away, but he feels like he crossed a line he shouldn’t have. He felt guilty for being the one to put an expression like that on Hoseok’s face.

He wanted to know what had happened to Hoseok for him to end up like this.

Suga quickly pulled out his own gun and pressed it against Hoseok’s temple, “Put it down or I’ll kill you.” He growled. He looked surprised at Hoseok’s actions and frankly Taehyung was too. No one had been able to disarm Taehyung before, at least not after his training. Not even Suga.

“It’s okay Suga. I provoked him.” Taehyung said as Hoseok slowly released his grip.

Hoseok’s expression smoothed over, maybe because he realized there was no real danger. He placed the knife back in his waistband and apologized quietly. Suga followed although he remained tense.

Taehyung laughed, “I hope you won’t regret this Mr. Jung Hoseok.” 

“I can’t regret it. I’m already here.”

Suga sat down cautiously and Hoseok followed, hands up in surrender. Suga cautiously continued loading the money into the bill counters but Taehyung wasn’t paying attention. All he was thinking about was how Hoseok got to this point of his life.

“You said I would be collecting with you. What does that entail?” He asked Taehyung directly.

Taehyung pulled out his own decorated knife and sat back in his chair before explaining. “Are you familiar with Hybe?”

“I’ve heard of it. Bang Sihyuk is the boss who hides under the title of CEO for an entertainment company under the name BigHit Entertainment. His secret son was recently murdered by the Korean military.” Hoseok’s voice lowered at the end so lightly that Taehyung barely noticed it. “Kim Taemoo oversees all of the underground clubs. He hides as the CEO of The Solar Lair nightclub chain. If Taemoo were to die Suga here would likely take over since he is the son of the previous CEO.”

Suga acted as if he hadn’t heard Hoseok.

Taehyung toyed with the knife and nodded. “There are other clubs like ours out there in Itaewon, Myeongdong, Hongdae and so on. Some have brothels, some don’t, but they all have illegal businesses of which we will need to collect their profits and put them in the safe.” He pointed to the built in safe on the wall to their right with his knife. We’re the main club so I, the main collector, am stationed here. I am like Hybe’s bank teller, well her assistant. There’s someone like me who I report to at the Hybe building once a month. We will go to a few different clubs each day and collect their earnings for the week. We will even go to the Spine Breaker’s office to collect. I make sure no one screws us over by making sure the count is correct. The managers like to get greedy sometimes and keep more than they deserve. If they do get greedy then we use force. That’s where you come in.”

Hoseok met his eyes.

“If someone is being difficult and refuses to give us the right amount of money then we have to force them to. People have been trying to steal the money recently as well. Someone attacked me,” Taehyung raised his injured wrist, “to steal the money as soon as Suga and I separated from each other.” Suga gave him a quick glance while he counted. “That man is dead now. The man who used to be in your position also tried to run off with the money. He’s dead now as well. All you have to do is help Suga and I store all of the money into that vault,” Taehyung pointed at the wall which hid the large vault, “every night so we can bring it to the Hybe tower at the end of the month.”

“I’m just protecting the money.” Hoseok said it as if he had been chanting it to himself in his head the entire time.

“Yes. You don’t have to hurt anyone, unless they’re trying to be a smartass.” 

Hoseok nodded. “I will do whatever needs to be done.” He paused before glancing at Suga. “No one has discussed my pay.”

“We already did.” Suga laughed as he continued counting. “You’ll be making a bit more than your predecessor did due to your skillset. So it’ll be exactly what you and Agust had spoken of. 

“Double?”

“Double.”

“Double.” Hoseok repeated in quiet awe and spaced out Taehyung's hands, still toying with the knife. He blinked a few times before returning back to earth. “Mr. Kim Taehyung?” He looked up at Taehyung.

He held his breath and waited for him to ask whatever was on his mind.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He put the knife back in his holster.

“For getting me a job.”

Taehyung shrugged. “You seemed desperate.” It was true but it was also a lie. Taehyung only wanted to do what he needed to do to keep Hoseok close.

Taehyung and Suga finished counting all of the money and storing it into a large vault which only they had access to, before Suga took Hoseok off to Hybe tower for his initiation.

Once they left, Taehyung leaned back in his chair and put his hands in his pockets only to feel something cold and unfamiliar. He pulled out the foreign object and examined it. It was a woman’s necklace. A dark red oval shaped gem was mounted over a delicate gold chain. He toyed with the necklace he had forgotten he had swiped from the neck of a pretty lady upstairs and imagined how much prettier it would look resting on Hoseok’s neck.

Taehyung couldn’t refuse Jin once he insisted he come to the infirmary for a checkup. Taehyung was not fully recovered of course but he felt like he was mostly recuperated. His ribs still ached and some of his skin was still yellow but most of the incisions had healed. There were still stitches holding him together in some places but he could be a lot worse. He stopped by the infirmary despite his disagreement with the unnecessary examination. He couldn't refuse Jin anything as much as he wanted to. 

After all, it was Taehyung’s fault Jin was trapped here.

He did not know what kind of things his father subjected Jin to aside from prostitution and forced labor but he knew it was a lot worse than he could imagine. What made it worse was that Jin was extremely perceptive and intelligent which meant he saw and felt more than the average person. It was likely one of the many reasons as to why he tried to take his own life so many times. Jin had felt so much pain that the only escape he saw was death.

He wasn’t wrong in thinking that. The only escape for any of them was death and Jin was the only one brave enough to try and find that escape.

Taehyung lay on the uncomfortable bed of the infirmary, his back aching from the cheap mattress. He stared up at the dark red ceiling, waiting for Jin to pull back the thick curtain to inspect him. While he waited, he thought about the man who hurt him. The man who was ready to kill him. He wondered if the man was truly only after the money, or if there was someone else trying to terminate Taehyung’s life.

He thought of how tragic it would have been for him to die before Hoseok arrived.

Unfortunately, he had not seen Hoseok as often as he had wished for in the past few days as he was always with Suga. He hadn’t even gotten the details of his initiation. Suga and Hoseok were busy going over the details of how the club ran and the specifics of his job. Taehyung had volunteered to show him around since he was the one who insisted he work with them but Suga declined the offer saying Taehyung was still too injured to work.

Jin had felt the same way.

Jin, as usual, did not announce his entrance. He simply threw the curtain back and lifted Taehyung’s shirt up without a single word. Jin adjusted his glasses before examining his chest. “Your scans look good, and your wounds are healing well. It looks like you’re actually following directions. I’m impressed.” He rolled up the sleeves of his white coat as he pressed two gloved hands on Taehyung’s stomach before pushing down.

Taehyung sighed. “Yoongi has been stalking me since the incident. He breaks into my apartment and smears the smelly antibiotic ointment on my skin after my shower like a child.”

Jin laughed. “You are a child. Remind me to thank him later. Do you still have some? I think you’ll need to continue applying for another week since I will be removing the stitches today.” He examined the wound on his neck.

“Ran out yesterday. Yoongi puts on a thick layer. ”

“Ah, our Suga is so thorough as always.” He said cheerfully. “I will be glad to provide him with another tube. Let me grab some supplies, I’ll be back.” He closed the curtain behind him and disappeared into a supply room.

Someone knocked lightly on the door to the infirmary shortly after Jin left. The person entered timidly before closing the door behind themselves.

Taehyung could not tell who it was as they did not announce themselves. They did not move nor make any noise for a moment.

Song: Orange Hues by Aqualina

“Dr. Kim?” RM’s familiar voice called out. “Dr. Kim?” He called out again.

He stopped calling out once there was a light crash in the supply room. Jin cursed quietly and picked up whatever he had dropped.

RM laughed quietly to himself and waited.

The door to the supply room eventually opened. Jin took one step out of the room before stopping in place. “Oh, hello. Is there something I can help you with?” Jin’s voice was polite but he had clearly been taken off guard.

RM cleared his throat. “I was looking for some lidocaine spray. Do you have any?” His voice was neutral and equally as polite but Taehyung couldn’t help but notice a hint of nervousness.

Jin set down everything he was holding on a table. “Yes. Are you hurt? What is bothering you?” He asked quickly.

RM laughed timidly. “It’s not for me, it’s for Jungkook. We are training together tomorrow and he always complains about his knuckles hurting him afterward. I thought it could help him.”

Jin’s footsteps began retreating. “Wait here I will grab it for you.”

“You look busy. If you tell me where it is I can grab it myself.” Taehyung couldn’t see RM but he knew there was a delicate dimpled smile on his face.

Jin cleared his throat. “I’m not, I can grab it.”

“Let me-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back.” Jin hurried away and closed a door behind himself.

RM sighed shakily and whispered to himself. “How do I tell him?” He could be heard popping his fingers.

It was more than strange to hear a man built like a tank melt into a puddle of nerves in front of another man. It was then that he realized everyone held that same innocent nervousness in front of someone they saw romantically. It was endearing to hear the strong man speak so softly and talk so sweetly.

Jin took longer than expected although he eventually returned. “Here. Use every six to eight hours. Don’t use it more than three times in twenty four hours.”

There was a pause as they exchanged the bottle.

“Thank you.” RM said quietly.

Neither could be heard moving or speaking for a long moment.

“Is there something else I could help you with?” Jin asked hopefully.

RM’s voice regained its timid flow. “Ah yes…” He sighed. “I- I’ve been looking for an opportunity to-”

Yeonjun burst out of a room. “Dr. Kim, we have a patient coming.” He said urgently. “Sounds like we need to stabilize and transport. I’ll start getting set up. Hi Mr. RM.” He said before running off.

RM tried to hide the dejection in his voice with a courteous tone. “I guess it’ll have to wait. I’ll stop by another time.”

“Please come by again.” Jin said sincerely.

“I will.” RM affirmed before he left.

The tone in their voices told Taehyung everything he needed to know. His suspicions were true, but he did not know if he wanted them to be true. The two would have to go through a lot of hardship to be together, that is if they weren’t killed first.

Jin took a moment to return. He sat at his desk and sighed heavily for a while before standing and throwing the curtain open again.

“What was that?” Taehyung asked.

“What was what?” Jin was clearly still shaken from his encounter with RM. He fumbled with his supplies before focusing all of his attention on Taehyung’s neck.

“I think he was finally going to confess. Don’t you?”

Jin squinted his eyes as he began removing the stitches. “What are you talking about?”

Taehyung hissed when Jin pulled out a particularly tight stitch. “You know exactly what I am talking about.”

“When did you find out?”

“I noticed the second he arrived.”

Jin shook his head. He gathered his thoughts for a moment and sighed. “It’s too late. It’s been years. He must not really care about me if it’s taken him this long.” His voice was neutral but his eyes were sad.

“Haven’t you heard the saying, ‘better late than never’?”

“I like the one that goes, ‘it’s now or never’.” He winked halfheartedly.

“Are you saying that he should never confess?”

Jin’s voice turned harsh. “He should have confessed from the start.”

“But you still want him to confess. Even though you’ve known from the start.”

Jin was silent as he removed the last of the stitches and placed ointment over it. “Done.” He said flatly and handed him a tube of antibiotic ointment. “Tell Suga I said thank you for doing my job for me.” He gave Taehyung a broken smile, messed up his hair, and walked in the direction Yeonjun had run.

Taehyung was never one to pressure anyone to tell him anything they were not comfortable with sharing and he would not do that now but he had a hunch as to how Jin was feeling. He likely thought it was all too little too late. The more Taehyung thought of it the more he felt Jin’s feelings were justified. Even if RM were to confess, he could not change Jin’s life. 

He could not remove the collar around Jin’s neck, let alone get rid of the man who held the leash. 

********

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF MIN YOONGI

Suga had never really liked Itaewon. 

He felt like it was small and overrated. People claimed there was a lot to do there but there was nothing but night clubs and sub par pubs. It was a heavily trafficked area with a large young population and greater than average foreigner population. The high traffic made it easy for them to hide the illegal activities in the club as well as the suspicious looking traffic coming in and out of the place. 

The large red neon sign above the wide double doors had always bothered Suga’s eyes. Tonight was no exception. He didn’t understand why the club’s name had to draw so much attention when it was the last thing they really needed especially when he was about to haul such a large sum of money out of the place.

Taehyung was hurt, which meant Suga needed to bring extra back up on tonight’s collection run.  He had thought of bringing Hoseok along with him but he was supposed to go to Hybe to meet with Mr. Bang and complete his initiation ceremony. He briefly wondered what Bang was going to make Hoseok do when the three young males stepped out of the car.

Soobin, Beomgyu, and Taehyun had been chosen by Suga to accompany on the collection trip temporarily as Taehyung was injured, but he had a feeling he would end up being the one having to protect them. He had instructed the younger males with him to stand close to him and keep an eye out for any people who might try to steal the money. He hoped that the anxiety of their first collection would keep them alert enough to stay safe and keep all of them from getting hurt although he wasn't sure how successful they would be when it came to collecting from Woosung. 

Woosung had always been a challenge in the personal and professional sense. He had made suggestive comments about Suga ever since he first laid eyes on him. Suga gave in at first out of attraction, loneliness, and boredom. Woosung was nothing but a warm body for him to thrust his loneliness into. Suga quickly lost interest once he realized how empty he still felt inside despite the constant physical intimacy. Despite Suga’s rejection, Woosung began making very crude comments towards him in public despite him being very vocal about his disinterest in the man. That made Suga’s job more difficult than it should have been. Woosung always claimed he wouldn’t give up the money unless Suga gave in to him. It was a tiring game that no one but Woosung wanted to play. Taehyung had to physically take the money by force almost every week, regardless if Suga was present or not. Woosung was like a child who was throwing a tantrum because his parents wouldn’t let him have a new toy, as if Suga was something he could play with whenever he pleased.

Woosung was very likely to have another tantrum today.

The bouncers let the four men in without a word. They entered the loud establishment and walked around the sweaty bodies to reach the door that led to the underground brothel. The club Woosung ran would have been identical to the one in Mapo if it had a fight club but the number of subway lines underground did not allow for much construction in Itaewon.

Dojoon, who was standing at the brothel’s door, smiled at Suga like always. His smile wasn’t condescending like Hajoon’s was. It was truly genuine. Although Suga liked him, he would never let him know that in order to keep his respect.

“Hello sir.” Dojoon bowed and opened the door for them without question.

To Suga’s dislike, Hajoon was standing right behind the door.

“Why are you here? Who let you in?” Hajoon blocked the door like a guard dong.

“Why are you asking when you know I only come here to collect? Move.” Suga shoved his way past but Hajoon and a few other men he recognized blocked his way.

“Don’t fucking lie. We all know what you came here for. This isn’t the time for that, the boss is working. He doesn’t need a distraction like you.” Despite him being slightly taller than Suga, his personality made him seem ridiculously small.

“Are you deaf ? I said I came here to collect so open the fucking door you useless shit.” Suga stepped forward.

Hajoon suddenly went flying towards Suga and landed in his arms. Suga threw him off and wiped off the lint that came off his jacket and onto his gray suit.

Suga hated soiling his suits.

Woosung stood where Hajoon was and laughed eerily. “My sweet Suga! What a lovely surprise.” He felt all of Woosung’s disgusting desires towards Suga displayed in his smile. Woosung walked towards him with his arms open but Suga put a hand on his bare chest to shove him back. Suga somehow felt regretful by placing his hand on the cross tattoo on his chest and pushing it away.

But he did not feel an ounce of regret at pushing Woosung away.

Woosung didn’t flinch. He only put his hands in his jacket pockets and pouted. “Whoa what’s with the sudden cold greeting? We used to be on more than friendly terms. Don’t you remember what you told me when-”

“I don’t have time for your games. I’m here to collect.” Suga said as calmly as he could.

“Well why didn’t you say so? Come in! You’re always welcome.” Woosung grabbed hold of Suga’s hand and dragged him into his office. He thought of ripping his hand out of his grip but he knew it was useless. Woosung would just grab it again.

“Not you.” Woosung pulled out a knife and held it towards Beomgyu, Soobin, and Taehyun. “ Just Suga.” He smiled bitterly at them before pulling Suga further into his office.

The men flinched, horrified at the sight of the knife, but did not step back. Sure, they were tall and intimidating when you only looked at their physique, but their poise said otherwise. Suga had to keep reminding them to keep his shoulders back and chin held high but old habits die hard. They were strong and skilled boys, but their naturally anxious posture made them look as afraid and inexperienced as they were. They were still learning to fight so Suga hoped that tonight wasn’t the night trouble came for them.

“I’ll be right out. Don’t worry. Stand tall.” Suga reassured them.

They nodded and adjusted their posture. They stood there pale and wide eyed with their hands behind their backs. They looked so young and defenseless that he wondered what Taemoo was thinking when he let the boys into the club.

A group of men began surrounding the boys but Suga stopped them. “If you hurt them, they’ll kill you, but don’t worry, I’ll stop them so I can make sure to torture you before you’re dead.” The men took a step back and completely moved away once a particularly bright stage light shone in Suga’s face. Gang members were not supposed to kill each other without a direct order from a superior or in self defense, but Woosung’s men were different. They would gladly kill the boys and claim self defense as an excuse to kill, like they always did. They’d say anything to have some fun without getting into trouble, but Suga wasn’t going to let that happen.

“You heard the man. Back to your posts.” Woosung yelled out before shutting the office door.

Woosung’s office was dark. The floor tile was a deep black while the walls were a deep red, or so he thought. The dim amber lighting made it difficult to distinguish the different colors in the room.

“The money.” Suga threw the bag on Woosung’s desk immediately, waiting for him to pile the money into the bag and hand over the weekly earnings statement.

“I’ve been well thank you for asking.” Woosung put his hands around Suga’s hips and pulled him close, his cold sharp gold necklaces digging into his chest.

“I only came for the money.” Suga shoved him back.

Woosung only seemed more eager then. He forced himself onto Suga, running his hands and mouth up and down his body.

“I said no!” He forced him off again. This time Woosung landed on the ground. The sleeve of his dark red silk shirt tore from catching on the corner of the desk. “Why do you make this so fucking hard?”

Suga’s heart dropped when Woosung didn’t move. He watched him for a moment and waited for the rise and fall of his chest when a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

Suga threw everything off of Woosung’s desk in one motion. “Stop fucking with me and give me the money!” Suga carried Woosung off the ground by the collar and sat him down in his chair. His short dark curls bounced once he collided with the chair.

“Calm the fuck down will you?” Woosung showed the first hint of annoyance. He walked up and opened the cabinet where he kept the safe. “I just wanted to chat before you left but you’ve ruined the mood.” He sighed and put his thumbprint and password into the safe. He pulled out a briefcase filled with money and counted it all in front of Suga before depositing it in his bag alone with the weekly earnings statement too. Normally, Suga would stay at the club and review it in front of the manager in case there were discrepancies but he always had to take the statement with him since Woosung was so difficult to work with.

“Why do you always have to make this so fucking hard? You’re such a pain in the ass.” Suga said bitterly and began to retrieve the bag but Woosung put both hands on it.

“You will give me what I want. If not now then tonight. I’ll come find you and you’ll let me in again just like you used to.” His eyes were crazed like those of a starving animal.

“I will never get into your bed again and you will never get into mine. Find someone else to fuck.” Suga took the bag back and started walking out.

“Is it because of your loyalty to your little doll? He will never believe you anyway.” Woosung’s tone was as serious as it could be.

Suga stopped.

“He didn’t believe you then and he won’t now. Running from me won’t fix anything.” He looked at his nails, orange under the amber lights of his office.

“You don’t know anything.” Suga’s grip in the bag was so strong he was worried he was going to hurt himself.

“If the Spine Breaker believes me more than he believes you then that means he doesn’t trust you. You can never have a relationship without trust can you?” His voice recovered its usual wicked tone.

Suga dropped the bag and lunged at Woosung. He gripped his neck tightly, as tight as he could. He let all the rage coursing through him release itself into his grip.

Woosung’s face began turning red and the veins of his forehead were bulging. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?” He said through breaths and laughed.

“Fuck you.” Suga said before releasing his grip.

Woosung gasped and coughed, “You are angry because you know it’s true.”

Suga walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him, quickly finding the boys standing nearby. “Let’s go.” He ordered.

They boys were standing near the doors waiting. There was an older woman standing uncomfortably close to them and running her finger along Taehyun’s jaw.

“He’s not for sale.” Suga grabbed his arm and tugged him away, ignoring the woman's protests.

Woosung’s words rang in his ears for the rest of the night.

He knew that he should never listen to anything Woosung says but, as much as he hated to admit it, what he said was true. Jimin trusted Woosung more than he had ever trusted Suga. 

Woosung’s words made him so uneasy he decided to collect from Jimin that night as well. It was unusual for him to conduct a random unscheduled pick up but he wanted an excuse to speak to Jimin. He made sure to call him in advance so he could be ready with the money and documents.

Once he threw Woosung’s bag in the safe, he went over to RM’s desk where he watched the security cameras where he listened to conversations he deemed important.

RM’s desk was conveniently placed outside of Jimin’s office. RM sat in that exact spot from the time the escort rooms opened to the time they closed. He was in charge of listening in on especially high profile clients in the brothel and recording anything that he deemed worthy of blackmail. If he was being honest, RM could have worked in any position in the building except for anything related to the kitchen or repairs. He was strong enough to fight but also to protect. He was attractive enough to be a male escort as well but Seongsu thought his intelligence was his greatest asset. Suga thought his kindness was his biggest attribute although he didn’t plan on mentioning that to anyone. A gang thrived on anger, greed, and strength, not kindness. 

People who were kind died quickly.

“Did you fight already?” Suga asked.

RM put up a finger to silence him. He seemed to be focused on an older woman sitting on a younger man’s lap. If Suga remembered correctly she was the head of an entertainment label. He couldn’t remember which one, but she was embezzling a lot of her artist's money and keeping it to herself. All of the escorts were trained to recognize and manipulate high profile clients. They were great at retrieving whatever information Taemoo wanted and even better at making sure there was plenty of video content to blackmail them. RM quickly wrote down whatever she was telling the male escort.

On another screen he saw Taehyung entering a room whose cameras seemed to be down at the moment although he couldn’t tell which room as all the doors looked the same. Could it have been Taemoo’s office? He shook off the thought and remembered why he had gone to see RM in the first place.

Suga gave RM a pat on the shoulder before knocking on Jimin’s door quietly. He waited for him to call him in before he touched the door handle.

Jimin’s office was dark but large. The walls were a deep blue color with white wooden wainscoting that matched the color of Jimin’s desk. The floor was mostly made of glass which allowed them to see the fighting ring below. It was the only thing that was currently lighting up Jimin’s office. The flooring around it was made of carpet the color of the walls with details the color of Jimin’s desk. Suga looked down briefly to see Bangchan standing in a puddle of blood.

 “How was your fight?” Suga asked as he entered and sat in the chair in front of Jimin’s desk.

“Let’s just count the money.” Jimin turned on his desk lamp, picked up the stacks, and began counting. 

Like everyone else, Jimin had been scheduled to fight that night. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and the skin of his knuckles was red and bloodied.  His pale blonde hair remained styled to perfection but there was a bruise on his cheek that he covered with makeup. Jimin was just as invincible as Jungkook which meant that his bruises were caused by hits he took from his opponent for entertainment purposes. 

Suga wasn’t listening to Jimin count the money. He trusted that Jimin would never steal from the club and even if he did, he didn’t care. He was just watching Jimin’s pretty lips move back and forth as he counted the money out loud.

He was angry at Woosung for saying Jimin didn’t trust him but Suga knew it was true. He knew Jimin only trusted those who said bad things and Woosung had a lot of bad things to say. He wished there was something he could do to make Jimin understand but he tried and failed multiple times in the past. He wanted to try again now that he missed Jimin more than he allowed himself to admit. 

“Are you counting with me?” Jimin’s artificially blue eyes met his own.

Suga came back to the present before admitting he wasn’t.

Jimin’s sigh exuded annoyance. “I’ll start over then.” He started picking up the money and piling it to his left again.

Suga gripped his strong wrist. “Stop.”

Jimin moved his wrist out of his hand immediately, his annoyed expression turning into a scowl.

Suga ignored the ache in his chest and sighed, “We don’t need to count it. I trust you. Just put it in the bag.” He started placing the bundles in his bag.

“Stop.” Jimin began taking the bundles out, his bracelets and watch clinking together with the rash motion. “You can’t blindly trust me, we have to count it together so you can see that it’s right.”

“I’m not blindly trusting you. I know you. I trust you.” He put as much sincerity into his voice as he felt.

Jimin’s eyes widened for a moment before his brows narrowed in frustration. “You don’t know me.”

There was a small period of silence before Suga responded. “I may not know you now but, I did know you once. That’s more than enough for me.” Suga started putting the money back in the bag.

Suga watched Jimin stare at him from the corner of his eye. He felt self conscious then. He was steadying his breaths so that heat he felt in his chest wouldn’t rise to his face.

He picked up the bag and began to walk out, but his moments alone with Jimin were rare and precious. He couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste. 

Suga reached for the door handle. “When you’re ready, if you’re ever ready, I’d like to know you again.” He was beginning to turn the handle when Jimin spoke.

“Yoongi.”

Suga’s grip on the door handle was so strong he wondered if he would break it. He hummed in response.

There was a long pause before Jimin responded. “Did you see Woonsung today?”

His stomach dropped. “Yes. I had to collect from him too.”

Jimin’s breath was the only sound in the room before he responded. “Did he say anything about me?” The lack of anger and presence of concern in Jimin’s voice frightened him.

“He always says a lot of things about you.”

“What did he say?” His voice was cautious.

“He said you trust him more than you trust me. He said that’s the reason we can never be together.” Suga sighed knowing Jimin would not take it well.

Jimin slammed his hands on his desk and stood up. “I don’t trust him more than I trust you.”

“Don’t you?” Suga responded and turned to meet Jimin’s furious eyes. “I told you that I’ve never slept with him while we were together, or after. Yet you’ve decided to believe him every single time.”

“Because it’s true.” Jimin’s quiet voice sounded as if he were trying to convince himself. He tugged on the sleeve of his black and gold patterned shirt.

They’ve had the same argument so many times that Suga wasn’t surprised with Jimin’s response. The fury Suga had felt the first few times he heard that had transformed into disbelief and disappointment. “What makes you say it’s true?” 

“You loved him once didn’t you?” Jimin accused him.

Suga felt disgusted at the thought and he was more than certain it showed on his face. “Love and lust are two very different things. It was a long time ago. Long before you. I ended things with him before I ever approached you.” He paused and sighed. “I’ve told you this before. I’ve told you everything over and over yet you still don’t believe me.”

Jimin’s hands gripped the side of his ornate white desk with enough force to tear it apart. “Get out.” He said with gritted teeth.

It took every drop of self control for Suga to not slam the door behind him. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into a tiny ball on the ground and cry. He felt embarrassed at the thought. He didn’t understand how Jimin could still hurt him so much after all of these years. He thought he would have eventually become numb to the pain but it only seemed to get stronger, he was just getting used to living with it.

Jimin used to hold him so tightly and kiss him so softly. Where did everything go so wrong?

Suga tried his best to hold it together as soon as he found Jungkook standing down the hall. He was looking in the direction of Taemoo’s office but Suga was too far back to see exactly what he was looking at.

As he approached, he put a hand on the boy’s shoulder and asked, “What are we looking at?”

Suga should have known better than to sneak up on him. Jungkook reached for his hand immediately and prepared to flip him over but Suga was fast enough to avoid the motion. Instead, Jungkook covered Suga’s mouth with one hand and slammed him against a wall that was out of the sight of whoever was standing outside Taemoo’s office door.

“Shh!” Jungkook’s eyes widened before he let go. “Don’t tell anyone I was here.” He walked away without another word.

Suga peeked around the corner to see Jin standing outside of Taemoo’s office. Jin folded and unfolded the corner of his navy blazer so much that it was starting to leave a wrinkle. He was visibly tense.

It was out of character for the normally composed doctor. He always remained calm, even when Taemoo called for him. He assumed that was what Jin was doing now. Waiting for whoever was in Taemoo’s office to leave before he had to go in and do his duty. He wondered if Jin was waiting to be punished for something. It was unusual but Taemoo punished Jin on random occasions. He would accuse him of flirting with random males when he was only being polite or he would just hurt him to let off steam. If Jin was concerned then he must have truly done something wrong.

“Are you okay?” Suga came to stand next to Jin.

Jin jumped and yelped. “Yoongi! You scared me.” He put his hands on his knees and took a deep breath.

“Sorry. You look nervous, what's going on?”

“I think they’re waiting for you.” Jin motioned towards the door.

“Me?” Suga was surprised. “What for?”

“New recruit.”

Suga was in charge of orienting the new recruits regardless of how high or low their position was. He was sure that orienting someone like Dongseok was way out of his level of expertise but he was forced to do it regardless. He was glad to see that Deongseok was a capable and trustworthy enough man especially since he would be holding the position of Taemoo’s personal bodyguard.

“Is that what has you so worried?”

Jin smiled and shook his head. His smile faded as quickly as it came.

“Jin.” Suga thought of reaching out but did not want anyone to see. It would only get his friend in trouble. The only one that was allowed to get so close was Taehyung. It was his “reward” for bringing Jin to the club.

“Please go.” He smiled. “I don’t want Taemoo to misunderstand.”

Although Suga nodded and walked away, he was not willing to let it go. He would find Jin later and speak about what made him so anxious.

He walked into Taemoo’s office to see a group of familiar faces standing behind Taemoo’s desk, speaking about the new recruit. Suga stepped in, bowed towards Taemoo, and assumed his position next to Agust.

The new recruit arrived moments later. He had seen the man many times from afar as he and Agust chased him around Seoul but never as close and clearly as he had now. His frame was tall and strong yet delicate all at once, like a dancer. He was still handsome despite the multitude of scars on his face, even with the large one he had received as punishment. He had high cheekbones, a sharp thin nose, and heart shaped lips. His hair was a deep brown and parted to the side in a neat style while the length of his hair peeked out from the nape of his neck.

His features were handsome and… familiar. 

He didn’t hear what anyone was saying. He barely even noticed Jimin and Taehyung enter. He was too busy trying his hardest to place the man’s face.

Suga had to keep his mouth from opening in shock once Taemoo said the man’s name.

He looked over at Agust then. His face was deceptively devoid of emotion but Suga saw that same shock he felt reflected in his brother’s eyes.

One look was all it took to know that Jung Hoseok was going to be the bane of Agust’s existence.

Suga had a headache.

He had begun training Hoseok soon after the meeting all while worrying about his brother and Jimin. It was a lot for his mind to handle and there had been no time for him to step away to think about all that had happened.

He made his way to the roof to clear the headache that began to fester the second he stepped near Itaewon.

Suga always got the worst headache every time Woosung was brought up, especially around Jimin. The club’s roof was the palace he always went to when he was stressed at work. It seemed like he was the only one that knew of the place since he never found anyone else up there. He lit up a cigarette and leaned over the rail. There was a soccer field on a roof nearby where a few college age boys and girls playing a co-ed match. He didn’t know anything about soccer but it was easy to tell who was experienced and who wasn’t. He watched the game for a few minutes before removing his jacket. Seoul was cool during this time of year. It was mid February but he didn’t want a jacket. The warmth and stuffiness of the underground fight club could only be described as suffocating. The air on the rooftop was cold, crisp, and unfortunately polluted. He took a deep breath of the thin night air and savored it regardless. It was so refreshing to take a breath of air that didn’t feel like he was trying to breathe through a stack of pillows. He made a mental note to bring up the ventilation issue at the next staff meeting.

He suddenly heard footsteps approaching. He pulled out the gun in the holster on his chest before he could see the threat and aimed directly at it.

Agust stood there, scowling, with both of his hands up in the air. His black hair was slicked back as usual. He wore a regular black and white suit ensemble under his long black leather coat. The scar over his right eye was almost black under the darkness of the night.

“Boo.” He said humorlessly.

Suga slid the gun back into the holster on his chest. “What do you want?” He moved his hands onto the railing, his left wrist suddenly aching as he looked at the thick scar across it.

“I didn’t come here to see you.” He took Suga’s cigarette between his fingers before putting it up to his own mouth.

“Why are you here?” Suga asked, annoyed that he lost his cigarette and that Agust wasn’t making his intentions clear.

“For this.” Agust kept his gaze on Suga as he shook some ash off the cigarette down onto the street below them.

“To pollute the world?”

Agust rolled his eyes. “To relieve stress.” He said more seriously than Suga had expected him to. He was surprised Agust had voiced his stress out loud especially since he always chose to hide any sign of distress. His skin held its usual pallor but the dark circles under his eyes were darker than usual.

Suga mentally took a deep breath before speaking. “You look unwell. What’s got you down?”

Agust furrowed his brow and gave him a look. If he had to name his expression, it would be disgust. “What are you talking about?”

“Are you thinking about what happened with Yoojun?”

Agust’s eyes hardened, “Don’t mention that fucker.” His words slowly filled with fury, “He destroyed our lives. He deserved to die.” He breathed through clenched teeth.

As expected, Agust was not doing well.

“ None of them deserved to die.” Suga emphasized.

Agust stood directly in front of him and glared furiously into his eyes. “If you think that fucker was justified for killing out parents then I should crush your head too.” He flung the cigarette onto the street before charging at Suga. He grabbed him by the collar and threw him down onto the ground. 

The impact shook Suga’s skull so hard it took him a second to remember where he was. “I don’t think Yoojun was justified, but you know Taemoo coerced him into it.” He struggled against his brother’s grip. “I hated him more than you think, but how do you think mom and dad would feel if they were watching their children hurt each other? We’re no better than him by fighting with each other.”

“Don’t compare me to that piece of shit!” Agust gripped Suga’s neck so tight he saw stars. Agust looked as if there was someone else inside of him. Someone ready to kill. “If you think he is innocent then I’ll kill you just like I killed him.” He snarled.

Suga’s airway was being cut off but he refused to hurt his brother, no matter how much he hurt him. He managed to speak in a hoarse voice, hating how disarming his next words would be, “Yoonjae. You’re hurting me.”

Agust came back to himself almost immediately and let go of him. He looked at his pale hands in horror before muttering a quiet apology while Suga gasped for air.

Suga turned over and sat on all fours while his lungs expanded painfully. By the time he turned back around, Agust was gone.

Agust could hurt him as many times as he wanted to and kill as many people as he could but it would never change the fact that Suga still loved his brother. He would never let Agust hear that of course, not until he was stable. It would only make him angrier and bring more trouble, but Suga was not going to let go of the man he knew was still inside his brother. His brother used to be a sweet, thoughtful man who cared a lot about their parents. He was a kind man who loved more than he had ever seen anyone love. He was a loyal and well behaved son who had made their parents nothing but proud. Their mother had constantly referred to Agust as “The sweetest boy in the world.” It was corny but it was true. Before the incident, Min Yoonjae had been the best human known to anyone. Yoonjae had loved their parents so much that it had become a part of his identity. 

That part of him died when they died.

He wanted to help Agust heal and move on, but he didn’t know how he could do it unless they were free from Hybe.

Chapter Text

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF JEON JUNGKOOK

Song: Ghost of You by Fkbambam

JK reveled in the sight of the cracked skulls under his hammer. 

The skulls below him no longer held a mind that could hurt others. It no longer held a mind that tried to control everything it did not own. It no longer held a mind whose thoughts only served to sink the already far gone world. It felt like a relief being able to purge the world of a mind so repulsive. The only thing that brought him dissatisfaction was that the skulls he cracked never belonged to the person he wanted them to.

He grabbed his opponent and hammered his face into the ground, over and over until his cerebral components began to spill out onto the concrete below. He stared at the mess and pretended it was Taemoo’s brain smeared on the gray concrete and smiled. It was all he had been striving for ever since the parasite killed his father. 

He was satisfied with what he saw until he remembered it was not Taemoo’s brain, but an unknown man that had been thrown into the ring with him. The feeling of gratification was quickly replaced with the rage he felt for the repulsive bastard.

He wanted to spill Taemoo’s brain out onto the concrete and turn every repulsive thought of his into nothing but gray mush.

He took hold of the little of the man's hair that was left and threw him to the side like a rag doll. He stood up, leaving the hammer on the ground, and shook the blood off of his fists when Chan raised JK’s bloody gloved hand up in the air for the thousandth time. “Victory!” He yelled.

JK yelled with him, the only difference was that he was yelling out in rage. His yell easily passed off as a cheer of victory although his thoughts were nothing but murderous as he glared at Taemoo.

Taemoo stood and clapped with the crowd who chanted JK’s stage name over and over. Taemoo looked around proudly, as if the victory had been his and not JK’s. Taemoo’s guests stood with him and cheered just as loudly as the rest of the crowd did.

That’s right fucker. Bask in your success. Bask in it all so you can know what it’s like to lose everything by my hand.

JK faced Taemoo and his VIP guests and bowed before them as he shook with anger. Once he stood back up, Taemoo extended his hand and motioned him forward, clearly asking him to come over and greet his guests.

JK walked down the steps of the fighting ring, his bare feet leaving bloody footprints on the ground.

Taemoo showed off a set of white veneers. “This is JK, my best and most profitable fighter. He brings in the most clients and the biggest profits.”

“Nice to meet you all.” JK bowed, putting on the same act he did every single night.

“Not only is he a great fighter but he is polite.” An older woman pointed out. She eyed JK hungrily, likely wondering what price Taemoo would be willing to accept for a night with him. She didn’t seem to mind the blood splattered across JK’s face and chest. Quite the opposite, it was as if she was imagining herself cleaning him off with her tongue from head to toe. She placed a finger between her veneers and looked up at Jungkook from her fake lashes.

Jungkook suppressed the disgust on his face.

Taemoo laughed unauthentically, “Yes he’s a great man all around isn’t he?” He put a filthy hand on the back of Jungkook’s neck and gripped it tightly.

Jungkook wished nothing more than to take Taemoo’s hand and pin it under his foot so he could destroy every single bone on it with the hammer he held earlier. He managed to smile politely when the VIP’s laughed despite the rage and disgust he felt. “If you’ll excuse me I’ll go get washed up.” Jungkook excused himself but was stopped by Taemoo’s increasing grip on his neck. Jungkook’s hand began reaching up to rip Taemoo’s hand away but he stopped himself once he noticed who was watching him.

Jin sat one meter away in the VIP booth, watching everyone while no one watched him. Jin usually kept an expressionless face and only smiled when socially required but he looked angry as he watched Jungkook. 

Jungkook felt his shoulders slump. Had he done something wrong? Why did he look mad?

Taemoo forced Jungkook’s neck down to speak into his ear. “Hurry up and come back. You’ll dine with us tonight. Our guests want to get to know you.” Taemoo’s polite tone held a warning in it despite Jungkook having never disobeyed any of Taemoo’s commands.

“Of course. Please excuse me.” He bowed towards the guests once again.

Taemoo finally released him to let him bow and retreat to the showers.

“Fuck you.” He said under his breath as he walked away. He ripped off his bloody gloves and handed them to the locker room attendant when he arrived. He immediately put all of his jewelry back in, including the silver cross which he only ever removed for fights.

The one his father had given him the day he died.

Mingyu, Eunwoo, Jaehyun, and Bangchan were nowhere to be found although they were usually there. Their fights were usually grouped at the end of the night since they were the best fighters there but Taemoo wanted to switch it up to continue keeping the new VIPs entertained. He was both glad and disappointed at his friend’s absence. On one hand he wanted the distraction from the rage he felt towards Taemoo but he was not in the mood to talk to anyone. He didn’t know how he was going to sit through the painful dinner tonight without stabbing his ears in the middle of their meal. Jungkook would sit silently and focus on eating his food, speaking only when spoken to, like he always did.

Just like Jin did.

The two were always forced to accompany Taemoo along with Taeju, Dongseok, and Seongsu to all important dinners and events as trophies. JK was the pride of the fight club and Jin was the best and most prestigious Kisaeng . At least that is what he sold them as. In reality, JK was a fighting dog and Jin was a glorified whore. He hated to think of the doctor as such, but it was true. Taemoo used Jin as his personal whore that he used for himself and sold off as he wished.

Jungkook hated every single event Taemoo dragged him to but he was always relieved when Jin was there too. It was comforting to have someone there who hated being there as much as he did. The two never spoke yet he could feel they held some sort of camaraderie between them.

Tonight's dinner was no different than any of the others. Jin and JK sat on either side of Taemoo, eating quietly while he and his guests kissed each other’s asses to get business deals sealed. Dongseok stood in the corner, ready to step in if anyone should pose any physical harm to Taemoo. Seongsu sat next to Jin, reading the room and analyzing conversations so he could report the VIP’s intentions to Taemoo later. Without Seongsu, Taemoo was nothing as they did not share the same intelligence level.Taemoo was rash and impulsive while Seongsu was rational and realistic.

Taeju sat next to Jungkook quietly, only joining the conversation when appropriate. Taeju was a loyal son but he did not look to be a happy son. He was someone who would never betray his father despite how much he disagreed with anything he was asked to do. He thought it was uncharacteristic of him since he was a lawyer but he felt there was more to Taeju than met the eye.

And there was plenty to meet the eye. Jungkook hated it to admit it but Taeju was extremely handsome, so handsome it was difficult to believe he was Taemoo's son. He was taller and broader than RM and his muscles were almost as large. His facial structure was sharp and angular as well as his eyes. He always dressed in a pristine black suit with a crisp blue button up underneath. His hair was always styled back neatly with hair gel but occasionally, a strand would break loose at the end of the night and it would hover over his forehead, adding another bit of handsomeness to his features. His glasses only added onto his attractiveness. Taeju wore frameless glasses that he always adjusted with a single hand. He would place his middle finger on one of the screws and the thumb on the other to push them up with a single smooth motion.

Clients had asked for Taeju’s price before but thankfully Seongsu always advised Taemoo not to sell him or Jungkook regardless of what was being offered. Jungkook wondered if a day would come where Taemoo would throw Seongsu to the side and wreak havoc as he pleased. He only had to wonder for a short second before settling on his answer.

Jungkook stepped out of his mind and into the dining table to examine if the conversation had involved him or Jin. He stepped back into his mind when he confirmed it did not.

Jungkook didn’t give a fuck about anything they talked about nor did he want to hear it. He just wanted to go home, take off his ridiculous black silk shirt, and sleep so he could train with RM in the morning. The more he trained the better he did in the ring. The better he did the more profit Taemoo could get. The more profit Taemoo could get the more destroyed he’d be when he lost everything.

“Your puppy is so silent isn’t he Mr. Kim?” One of the old men commented.

Jungkook’s grip on the sashimi increased as he thought about ramming his chopsticks into the fucker’s neck like he had once seen Suga do. He continued eating his food, pretending like he didn’t hear the comment that was clearly directed towards him.

Taemoo clapped Jungkook on the back with more force than necessary. “Oh don’t tease him, he's an obedient one. He never says anything he shouldn’t and never speaks when he’s not asked.” He laughed with his guests. “But if you do want to hear him talk then just ask him something. He has a lovely voice, don't you JK?”

I really want to fucking kill you right now.

Jungkook swallowed his food. “If you think I do, then I must.” He said neutrally and donned an insincere smile as he reached for another piece of fish.

The guests laughed.

“Is he for sale?” The older woman from earlier asked. “I’d definitely be interested in having him for a few nights. I promise I’ll return him just how I found him, Mr. Kim.” She toyed with a piece of her short, black, curly hair as she watched Jungkook from across the table. She bit her lower lip dramatically, scraping off her red lipstick with her veneers in the process.

Taeju glanced at Jin briefly before focusing on his food.

It was not the first time someone asked for Jungkook and he knew it would not be the last yet he felt just as disgusted as he had the first time. So much that he stopped eating. He washed his food down with some tea and wished for his body to digest it quickly so it would not come back up.

Taemoo looked at Seongsu for a moment, quietly asking for guidance. Seongsu adjusted his glasses like he always did when the answer he was suggesting was ‘no’.

Taemoo laughed. “Oh I’m so sorry Mrs. Cho he’s not for sale.” He turned to Jin. “Although he is.” He ran a disgusting finger on the side of Jin’s pristine cheek. “Aren’t you, Kisaeng?”

“If you say I am then I must be.” Jin said unbothered as he ate another slice of tuna.

Taemoo’s polite expression dropped for a second before he laughed again. “I’ll give him to the highest bidder at the table! Bids start at ten million won!”

That is how the auction managed by Taeju began and how Taemoo ended up crushing Jin’s left thigh with his right hand under the table. The tighter Taemoo squeezed the slower Jin chewed although his expression never doffed its composure.

Jungkook did not know how he stopped himself from bashing Taemoo’s head into the table. He wanted to break the plates and make him eat the shards before impaling his eyes with the glass of the alcohol bottles.

Taemoo did not release Jin’s thigh until he had sold him at a price he was satisfied with.

Jin’s hands were held in tight fists at the top of his thighs. His hand moved to his left thigh to soothe it but he froze once Taemoo looked at him again.

Jin and Jungkook sat in silence for the rest of the night. Jungkook was grateful that he had the freedom to leave for the night but Jin did not have that luxury, he never did. He had to accompany the drunk VIP to his apartment and lay with him in whatever way he demanded it.

Jungkook felt disgusted just thinking about it, he could only imagine what Jin must have felt. He looked at the man to see if there was any of that disgust in his own expression only to see him looking back at him.

He had seen Jin hundreds if not thousands of times. He always held the same unwavering neutral expression but it was this time that he finally saw in Jin the same look he always saw in his own eyes.

He saw in them the hatred for Taemoo.

If anyone hated Taemoo more than Jin, it was Jungkook.

Jungkook’s father had once been a part of the regular fighting lineup in The Solar Lair, unbeknownst to his mother.

Night after night, his father left their home in Jumunjin only to return from Seoul with injuries and millions of won in prize money which he hid from Jungkook’s mother. It was more money than a boxing instructor, as he posed to be, should be bringing home every night. His father felt she didn’t need to know that he was fighting people to put food on their table, and he was right. Jungkook’s mother would have never let him continue if she ever found out.

Jungkook had always begged his father to take him to the club but his mother opposed although she thought he would only be watching a boxing class. She didn’t want him to end up enjoying the sport and end up like his father. He didn’t understand what she meant then but he knew now. His father had always been extremely exhausted after coming from the club but he never neglected his family or his faith, only himself. His father was always tired but he never complained nor angered. He never argued or worried about anything. He had full faith that all things would work out for good. He was truly content and satisfied with his life no matter how tiring it was. So he continued with his draining lifestyle.

Jungkook went everywhere with his father, except the club, despite how tired the man was. His father wanted to enjoy every single second of Jungkook’s youth before the boy decided to spend his life elsewhere. Jungkook assured him that he would never leave his side but his father understood that a day would come where the boy would grow and leave the Jeon household to create another one.

They went everywhere together. The bank, grocery store, beach, doctor, etc. The errand he remembered the clearest was one of their trips to the grocery store. Jungkook began screaming when he saw blood begin to spill out of his father’s nose and onto his white shirt. His father hadn’t noticed it until Jungkook pointed it out, claiming he hadn’t felt anything. The bleeding would not stop so they went to a local clinic where they placed a rhino rocket into his nose. His father reassured Jungkook that he was not in any pain but the boy could not hide his concern. His father tried to reassure him with some ice cream although Jungkook was not satisfied. 

Jungkook remembered being in awe of the absence of fear and pain in his father’s eyes. He had even been strong enough to carry the seven year old Jungkook on his shoulders all the way back home.

Once Jungkook turned thirteen, his father trained him behind his mother’s back, teaching him boxing, MMA, and taekwondo. Jungkook learned very quickly. He picked everything up easily and retained it all in his mind and muscles. His body would strike before his mind noticed there was an attack coming. His father was very impressed, so much that he claimed Jungkook was good enough to become a professional. Jungkook didn’t care about making it big, he only wanted to fight alongside his father.

His father finally introduced him to the fight club on his seventeenth birthday as a gift, but only if Jungkook promised not to tell his mother. Jungkook found it fascinating to see his father in an environment like the fight club. People greeted him by name and cheered for him loudly once he stepped into the huge fighting ring. Jungkook had never thought of his father as being his own man until he watched him speak to people he did not recognize. It was strange to realize that his father was more than his father.

He was Jeon Jinwoo.

Jungkook’s curiosity in his father sparked after their first successful visit to the fight club in Seoul. He asked his father to share his life’s greatest wish with him although Jungkook would have never guessed his answer. His father insisted that his only dream was for Jungkook and his mother to always be happy and healthy. Jungkook was never satisfied by that answer so he asked what his dream was for himself . His father repeated his answer. After seeing Jungkook’s confused expression, his father clarified that he would understand one day when he had a child of his own. 

He grimaced at the thought and decided to trust his father’s words instead.

On Jungkook’s 20th birthday, after much begging, his father had finally allowed Jungkook to fight in the club. He would never forget the prideful look on his father’s face when Jungkook won his match.

It was a night of surprises as he had not expected to see Taehyung and Jimin fighting in the ring. Apparently Jimin was looking to make money and Taehyung had been forced to go there with his father, as usual. The Taekwondo match wasn’t going to take long if Jimin was in the ring. Taehyung should have known better than to accept a match with Jimin. As expected, Jimin won, but Taehyung had put up a great fight.  Jimin and Jungkook teased Taehyung after the excitement of meeting them there had worn off. Little did he know that night was going to turn into the worst one of his life.

“Adeul, please hold this for me while I fight.” His father smiled and took off the silver cross from his neck and placed it around Jungkook’s. “If you feel afraid-”

“Pray. I know.” Jungkook held the cross in his hand and pressed it against his chest before saying a quick silent prayer for his father’s protection.

“I’ll be back.” His father made a mess of his hair and walked up the steps to the ring.

Kim fucking Taemoo had challenged his father to a boxing match. His father had accepted, being familiar and skilled enough with the martial art to accept a challenge from a man who mostly participated in Karate. The two men would have been equally skilled if Taemoo hadn’t been so impatient and impulsive with his moves. He was always that way, quick in his greed and gluttony. It was clear Taemoo was not going to win so he took the match into his own hands and broke the rules of boxing. He sprung a leg up unexpectedly and kicked his father in the head with enough force to cause a fatal cervical injury. 

Jungkook could never forget the sharp snap of his father’s neck. He could never forget the pallor of his father’s lifeless body laying on the cold gray concrete. He would never forget the hush of the crowd and the shock in his friend’s eyes when they watched the first death in the Solar Lair. 

He would never forget the satisfaction in Taemoo’s eyes.

Jungkook would later find that it was all a result of Taemoo’s jealousy. His father had been the star fighter like Jungkook was now and Taemoo hated being in the shadows. He wanted his chance to be at the top, even if it meant he had to murder someone.

Jungkook wasn’t allowed to call his mother to tell her what happened. He was only allowed to watch as strangers picked up his father’s body and took him away. He held onto his cross tightly and began looking for the words to pray but he never found them. He didn’t know what to ask for. He only knew that he felt like he was dying inside.

Jungkook tried to rid himself of the fury he felt once he looked at Taehyung’s father’s proud face. He tried but he could not, so he did something he should have never done. He physically took his anger out on Taehyung before Jimin stopped him from killing his friend.

He sat in the back of Yoongi’s father’s car that night, alone, with guilt and his father’s urn in his arms. He will always remember his mother’s cries of grief once Yoongi’s father personally told her of her husband’s death. He will always remember the moment the police asked him to identify her swollen remains that were found in the ocean the following day. He will always remember bowing alone at the funeral that Yoongi’s father conducted for both his parents. He will always remember the warm home Yugyeom’s parents provided for him until he graduated from high school a few months later.

It took many punching bags and therapy before Jungkook accepted that Taehyung was not the problem. He was simply related to it. Taemoo destroyed his family and the only punishment he received was being barred from the ring for life, not for killing, but for breaking the rules of boxing. 

He didn’t understand how anyone could let Taemoo take over the club after Yoongi’s parents died, especially since there was something psychologically wrong with Taemoo. There was something monstrous in his eyes and smile that he could not explain. It was as if everything inside him was rotten and his eyes were the only thing that allowed anyone to see the festering inside.

Jungkook wanted to be the one to end Taemoo in the end. He would get his revenge one way or another, but for now he would be a kiss ass. He would make Taemoo a rich man before slowly tearing his empire out of his hands, torturing him, and killing him. 

Jungkook was a good fighter, but RM was better.

Jungkook could never forget the bright halo that appeared around RM the first time he saw him. He couldn’t stop from gaping when he saw him. He had never seen such a strong and impressive person. He was smart, strong, kind, funny, and handsome. He had a gorgeous smile and two deep dimples on his cheeks. His hyung had been the reason Jungkook had worked so hard to increase his muscle mass. They were almost in the same weight class although Jungkook still had some catching up to do.

They stood in opposite corners of the boxing ring in the training warehouse, ready for a friendly but competitive spar. Jungkook didn’t like losing, and RM didn’t like holding back. Jungkook was known for being the undefeated champion of the club, yet no one knew that there was someone who had beaten him time and time again.

Jungkook couldn’t spar with anyone other than RM. The others held no challenge for him whatsoever. It wouldn’t be training if it wasn’t difficult and it was always difficult with RM. His hyung was the only person he could lose to without feeling like a complete failure. Although RM was tough, he was gentle and kind. He was the only one who always seemed to be looking at Jungkook as frequently as he looked at him. His hyung was always attentive to his needs and his emotions, even when everything was falling apart around them.

Jungkook tightened his fists, waiting for RM to signal for them to begin.

The mouthguard pressed into his gums uncomfortably although RM hadn’t managed to land a blow on his face yet. He hated wearing the mouthguard more than anything. He wanted to spit it out and fight comfortably but he never fought his hyung without it. RM was the only one that had ever made a threat to the state of his dentition.

He inhaled the damp air of the rusty training warehouse behind the club while he circled the practice ring with RM, his fists held defensively next to his head. Before he knew it, RM had landed a painful blow to his ribs before yelling a barely intelligible order to focus. Jungkook resisted the urge to kneel on the ground and hold onto his ribs and blocked the next incoming blow. He blocked the strike to the head successfully as well as the next. 

His hyung’s orders to focus had always been easy to follow. They were as easy to follow as Jin’s name.

He was sparring with RM but he was also listening to some of the female fighters training with the sandbags talking about Jin. He deviated his gaze toward them but RM was actively attacking him so he returned his eyes forward despite how badly he wanted to see who was interested in Jin. He tried to block them out but it was impossible. It was no secret that Jin was the most handsome man within a million kilometer radius of the club, which meant that everyone was looking at him just as closely as Taemoo was. The woman stopped talking about his looks and began talking about the price Taemoo would be willing to sell him for.

RM landed an especially hard blow on the side of Jungkook’s head that made his jaw shake and his vision go blurry. He felt a small part of himself leave his body when the room spun a few times before he felt himself fall over into his hyung’s arms. He tried to push him away and get up but he couldn’t tell up from down. He didn’t realize his ears were ringing until he became conscious enough to attempt to listen to the women’s conversation again. To his frustration, he was unable to hear anything.

He thought he groaned when he felt someone hold onto his jaw. His jaw hurt of course but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. What concerned him the most was the lack of control over his senses. He couldn’t see, hear, or speak. His sense of balance was so distorted he could not stand. He felt himself groan again in frustration when he felt himself leave the cold ground and be pressed onto a warm muscled chest. He didn’t want to be carried but he couldn’t wake up enough to protest.

The smell of antiseptic is what brought him one step closer to full consciousness. RM must have taken him to see Jin. He was suddenly concerned about the state he was in. He had been to the infirmary before but he had never been in the infirmary. He had never been ill enough to need any real mending by Jin.

Warm soft fingers examined his jaw and his pulses. A bright light shone in his eyes multiple times although he couldn’t see Jin’s face behind it. His hearing returned before his vision did.

“Stop worrying.” A voice soothed.

“What if he doesn’t wake up?” RM’s voice was distressed.

They sounded so close, as if they were sitting on the bed next to Jungkook’s.

Jin’s carefree laugh imprinted in Jungkook’s mind. He had never heard him laugh before. It was so authentic and smooth. Listening to Jin laugh felt dangerous. Like Taemoo would walk in any second and slap the smile off of Jin’s face. 

“He’ll be fine.” Jin assured him. “Jungkook is stronger than the average person you know? Plus, it’s only a concussion. People don’t die from concussions.”

Jungkook’s chest tightened. Being so close to Jin was dangerous. Taemoo would certainly punish Jin for getting close to either of them even if he was only taking care of Jungkook, right? He suddenly thought about all of the other men and women Jin had mended and felt less scared. Maybe it was only okay for him to be around injured men. But what about RM? Would RM get in trouble for speaking to Jin? Jungkook would really kill Taemoo if he got anywhere close to either of them.

His vision began to clear then. He was able to see the lines where the dark walls met the ceiling and the shadow of the two men sitting to his left.

“I should have been more gentle with him.” RM groaned.

“You said he hates it when you hold back. I’m sure he’d rather be in this state than having beat you only because you were going easy on him. He has his pride, you know?”

It was true. RM had, on several occasions, decreased the strength of his punches as a way to level out the playing field since they were in different weight classes, but Jungkook would have none of it. It wouldn’t be a true fight if they weren’t trying their best.

“It’s okay hyung.” Jungkook managed to croak out once his vision had almost completely cleared up. He put his palms on the bed and began to push himself up. He threw his legs over the edge to stand only to fall forward into his hyung’s strong bare chest. He felt his eyes open wider as he looked down at RM’s chest. “Wow hyung, you’re so strong.” He said as his palms rested on RM’s hard pectorals. He couldn’t believe he was still attracted to RM even in his concussed state.

Jin looked at the placement of Jungkook’s hands with raised brows. Jungkook pulled his palms back and moved them to RM’s muscled forearms.

“Wow.” Jungkook whispered in awe of the muscle in his palms.

Jin suppressed his laughter.

“Lay down. You need to rest.” RM insisted as he helped him back onto the bed.

“No.” Jungkook began to stand again. “I have to train. Let’s go hyung.” He held RM’s large hand.

“You’re trying to do too much too fast.” Jin scolded with no malice in his tone. He kneeled in front of Jungkook. He placed both of his warm hands on the sides of Jungkook’s face and watched him.

Jungkook was so nervous his hands shook as they gripped the bedsheets. He was sure he could pass it off as some side effect of his current condition, but he couldn’t stop thinking that everyone knew it was because having Jin so close made him nervous.

This is dangerous.

“Look at my finger.” The beautiful man whispered.

Jungkook did as instructed and followed the finger with his eyes for as long as he could.

“You have some nystagmus but that’s expected. I would only be concerned if you had a gaze deviation. You’re lucky the fight club is closed tonight since it is a Sunday. Taemoo would have been furious if you weren't able to fight.”

Taemoo can go fuck himself.

Jungkook nodded.

“You should go back before Taemoo finds out you are gone.” RM told Jin.

The rage that flamed in Jungkook couldn’t be put into words. He absolutely loathed the fact that Taemoo had turned Jin into the most prestigious personal prostitute in the entire country. He loathed Taemoo even more for having forced Jin to be the club’s doctor on top of that. He wanted to slam the fucker’s head into the concrete over and over until his brain spilled out of him and then take all of the chunks and throw them in to a blender.

“I will. I just wanted to make sure Jungkook was okay before I left.” He turned to Jungkook.”No more fighting today. RM will take you home to rest. You need a good night’s sleep. Call Taehyung if you need me.” Jin said before instructing RM to take Jungkook home.

“You shouldn’t have to answer to him.” Jungkook’s voice was a bit slurred.

RM laughed. “It’s okay Jungkook. I’d willingly do anything Jin asked me to.”

“No.” Jungkook clarified. “Jin shouldn’t have to live like this. It’s not fair.” He pointed to Jin.

“Jin already left sweetheart, but you’re right. None of us should have to live like this. Now let me feed you before I take you home.” RM carried Jungkook into his arms and out to the car.

If the blow to the head hadn’t killed Jungkook then RM’s driving would have.

The man was great at almost everything but he was a comically bad driver, so bad he hadn’t been able to pass his driver’s exam in his first six attempts. RM had looked offended when Jungkook had seriously asked for a helmet once he sat in the passenger seat but he couldn’t pass on the opportunity to make the joke.

RM drove them to a restaurant in Yeongsan instead, one more expensive than Jungkook was used to frequenting outside of Taemoo’s dinners.

“My treat.” RM said before performing the worst parking job Jungkook had ever seen.

“Hyung let me park-”

“You were unconscious an hour ago, it’d be irresponsible of me to let you behind the wheel.” He huffed.

“I think it’s even more irresponsible of you to sit behind the wheel, even with the engine off.”

RM made a sound of complaint before Jungkook put a hand over his mouth to cover his laughter. 

Song: Yu Yu Hakusho Romantic Theme by Nightcore Zeus

Jungkook reached over to place his hand on the door handle when RM took hold of his wrist gently. The man leaned forward, his gray eyes millimeters from Jungkook’s. RM’s voice reverberated in his chest. “Don’t open your door yet.”

Jungkook became hypnotized under RM’s gaze and swallowed hard before nodding. He couldn’t even remember what he was being asked to do. The tall man was at his door in a moment, opening the door wide to help Jungkook step out. He reached out a large palm and held it toward Jungkook.

“I can get out on my own.” Jungkook said shyly as the blood flowed brightly in his cheeks.

“I know you can.” RM smiled delicately. “But let me help you.” He held his hand closer.

Jungkook took his hand and stepped out of the car only to stand a centimeter away from the man.

RM’s smile never faded. “Your cheeks are pink.” He said as he raised a hand to Jungkook’s face. He brushed Jungkook’s cheek lightly. RM’s forearms were completely exposed as he only wore a black ribbed polo shirt despite the cold.

Jungkook tensed as he moved his gaze from RM’s robust arms and watched the man’s gray eyes. His eyes moved to his lips for a moment, wondering if his hyung would let him give into his fantasies from so long ago.

RM pressed his palm onto Jungkook’s forehead and his smile dropped. “Oh, your face feels really hot.” He said, concerned. “Should we take you back to Jin?”

“No hyung.” Jungkook said, dazed. “It’s just you.”

“Me? Did my driving really make you sick? I’m so sorry.” He stepped back. “We’ll take a taxi next time. I’m really sorry.”

“No hyung.” Jungkook laughed nervously. “It’s you. You were being so polite and you were standing so close. You know what kind of effect you have on me.” He said shyly.

“Oh.” RM’s own face began flushing. “You still feel that way?” He looked down and scratched the back of his neck.

“Not romantically. Only physically.” Jungkook admitted.

“Oh.” RM cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.” He took another step back. “I’ll try to be more careful. Should we go inside?”

Jungkook laughed and nodded.

The Japanese restaurant looked like a maze of shoji screens upon first glance. The hostess walked them towards an empty room in the back of the restaurant, past closed rooms of noisy drunk people after work.

RM ordered a lot of food for both of them, more than Jungkook was comfortable with. He was concerned not because he thought they wouldn’t finish their food, but because he knew that the check would not be a small one. RM had insisted on treating him to a meal regardless of having a much lower paying position than Jungkook’s. He wasn’t too sure exactly how much RM was paid, he just hoped it was enough that this meal wouldn’t be a financial burden to him.

Jungkook and RM conversed as they ate. They chatted about their friends and their hobbies, but never discussed anything that could have compromised the location nor activities of the club. RM had always reminded them of how easy it was to forget that they were engaging in illegal activities.

“Hyung,” Jungkook said through a mouthful before swallowing. “What would you be doing right now if you didn’t have your current job? You said you wanted to be a writer once. Do you still want to do that?”

The question visibly caught RM off guard, his mouth turning from a soft smile into a flat line. He hummed in agreement before taking another seemingly forced bite of his food. He chewed it absentmindedly while he stared at the corner of the table. “I would, but I want to go back to my family more than anything.”

“I thought you changed your name because you didn’t want to be associated with them anymore?”

RM gave him a sad smile and shook his head. “That’s what I told everyone because I was embarrassed of the truth. He looked down at the food between his chopsticks. “I was fleeing myself. I was such a failure as a writer I felt like I couldn’t live in my own skin anymore. I hadn’t achieved anything nor was I on the road to achieve anything. I do not want to be associated with the weak and powerless man I was before. I want to be a new man. One who is strong enough to protect the ones he loves. My family had nothing to do with my failure yet somehow I managed to break our bond with my recklessness. I left when my little sister needed me the most.” He stared down at the food resentfully. “Now I’m in a gang and I’m too scared to get close to them in case danger decides to follow me.” 

“Your sister?”

RM smiled wistfully. “The one I love the most in this world. She was just about to take her college entrance exam when I left.” He paused and his smile dropped. “I wonder how she did. I wonder how she is doing now.”

Jungkook nodded and took another bite of his food. “Find her and ask her.”

RM gave him a confused expression.

“Go back to them. You can still do it. Leave the organization and be with the people you love.”

RM scoffed. “You know I can’t do that.”

“We can find a way.” Jungkook insisted.

RM leaned forward and whispered, his carved chest visible through the collar of his shirt.“There is no way. Bang will send someone to find me. Just like he sent someone to find Zico last year.” He said quietly. 

He remembered hearing of Zico’s death. The man had fled to China after deciding he was tired of working as a fighter in the club. He was brought back alive and executed in the ring where Jungkook fought almost every night.

RM continued. “Hoseok was the government’s top assassin and even he couldn’t avoid this, no matter how skilled he was at escaping.”

“Hoseok came voluntarily.” He clarified.

RM lowered his voice further. “Hoseok was given a choice.”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook said, confused.

RM leaned forward. “He was there when they killed Bang’s secret son.”

Jungkook gasped.

“Hoseok didn’t do it, but he also wasn’t able to stop his death. He had to give his life to the gang or die as a result of his failure.” RM leaned back and continued eating, as if he hadn’t dropped the biggest piece of intel on the new recruit.

Jungkook spoke through his full mouth. “Suga hyung said Hoseok agreed to work for Taemoo, he wasn’t forced.” 

“You know that’s not how it works.” 

“You could make it work.” Jungkook watched him in wonder. He truly believed that RM was capable of everything. He had never seen him fail at anything he did, besides driving of course, which is why he found it so hard to believe he failed to be a writer. More than that, he felt like RM was too good to belong in a place like Hybe. He felt his hyung deserved the quiet domestic life he had first sought out when he came to Seoul. “If Hoseok is as good as they say he is then he could escape which means he is choosing to be here.” Junkgook nodded, agreeing with his own words, before placing another piece of food in his mouth. “You’re RM. You can do anything, so choose not to be here.”

RM shook his head and smiled. “You’re an innocent kid. Too good for your own good. I wish I could leave but how can I leave you behind?” He reached out to fluff his hair and smiled wider, his dimples peeking out lightly through his honey colored skin.

Jungkook felt giddy with affection before his tone became more serious. He swallowed his food before speaking. “Let’s say you do leave one day. When you do, can we still see each other like this once in a while?” Jungkook felt his heart sink in anticipation of an answer he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want to live in a world where he couldn’t be close to his hyung.

“Of course.” RM said without hesitation. His tone was absolute and his eyes were firm on Jungkook’s. “No matter what happens, we will always be together. I promise. Can you promise me the same?”

“Yes.” Jungkook said immediately. “You will always be my hyung. No matter what.”

RM smiled the bright smile Jungkook loved the most. His deep dimples were on full display as well as his perfect bright white teeth. His eyes crinkled adorably at the corners and shone even under the dim lighting of the room. Jungkook couldn’t help but return it. 

He resisted the urge to hug him when there was a loud slam of a fist on a table near them. They tensed immediately, ready for attack, until they heard someone speak.

“Come on Jihyo! He hasn’t called in two months!” A man yelled.

“Jackson sit down, you’re drunk. Don’t talk so loud.” Jihyo hushed him.

“What are we supposed to do if he’s dead? What are we supposed to tell the chief? The chief was paid off to find this man and take him out of the organization before we take it down. He said we had to get him out no matter what. Our agent is our only hope but we haven’t even had a chance to tell him about his new mission!” Jackson said louder.

They heard a small scuffle between them before she spoke again. “You’re talking too loud.” She hushed him. “He’s not dead. I saw him last week outside of the Solar Lair in Mapo. I believe he’s still working for us so calm down. He’ll call when it’s safe.”

RM and Jungkook’s eyes widened at the sound of the club’s name.

“A mole?” Jungkook whispered in alarm before RM nodded in confirmation.

“He has to. I can’t get fired because of his carelessness. I have a wife to provide for.” Jackson slurred.

“She’s going to be upset if you come home like this.” She grunted, likely holding up the man’s entire body weight. “Let’s sober you up before we get you home.”

Jungkook tensed when the door to the stranger’s booth opened only to relax once their uneven footsteps began to retreat.

“We have to tell Taemoo. Wait no, he won’t know what to do. We have to call Seongsu.” RM began dialing a number on his phone before Jungkook reached out to stop him.

Jungkook widened his eyes. “No. He can’t know.”

RM furrowed his brow. “We’ll die if Taemoo finds out we knew and hid it from him. I can’t let you or anyone else I love die so I’m going to tell him.” He ignored Jungkook and continued dialing the numbers.

“Stop,” Jungkook took the phone from RM and held it close to his chest. “If the organization gets taken down by a mole, we can be free.” He said hopefully. “You can return to your family and-”

Taehyung can be free .

“-and our friends can be free. If we cooperate with the police then they will let us be free.”

Jungkook almost flinched when he saw the vexed look on RM’s face. “It doesn’t work like that. Cooperation doesn’t erase our crimes, it microscopically decreases the punishment. Where there are a lot of crimes there are a lot of punishments.”

Jungkook thought it over but he couldn’t let go of the hope that they could leave their lives behind. Taemoo would finally lose and Taehyung could be free. His hyungs could all be free. “Can’t we just let the mole do their thing? Let them destroy Taemoo? Let them burn it all to the ground?” He felt his fist tighten around the phone.

RM whispered quickly. “What if they have been ordered to kill you? Or me? Jin? Jimin? Yoongi? What if they were ordered to kill Taehyung? Could you let the mole be if that was their task? To exterminate the people you call family?”

He pretended he didn’t hear RM’s comment. The fear that his words brought was so enormous that his mind didn’t allow him to process it.

He followed his father’s advice then and prayed. Please don’t let them die. Please .

“That won’t happen.” Jungkook pictured Taehyung’s happy face in his mind and reminded himself he was alive to bring him some comfort.

“How can you be so sure?”

“They mentioned something about a man being ‘trapped’ in the club. I’m sure their main mission is to find the man and bring him to someone. They wouldn’t care enough to kill key figures of the organization unless they got in the way. We can let the mole continue to collect useful information here while the police decide if they want to end the organization once this man is out. Let’s let them have all the tools they need to take this whole thing down.”

RM looked at Jungkook thoughtfully, “Do you understand what it means for this to end? Most of the people you know will die or end up in prison. You could die. Even if you live, what will you do if it all ends? How can you live on when those you love are dead?”

Jungkook hated the words coming out of RM’s mouth so he did not ponder them for long. “I can think of that once it all ends.” He said silently before taking another bite of his food.

“Your lack of concern is frightening.” RM shook his head.

Jungkook took both of RM’s large hands into his own as best he could and bore his eyes into his. “ Please hyung.” He said with as much fever as he could. “Let’s let things run their course.”

RM looked between Jungkook’s eyes for a long moment before deflating and sighing. “I don’t feel good about this.” He looked at Jungkook for a long moment. “Only you could convince me to hide this and risk my life.” He looked down and removed his hands from Jungkook’s to pick at his food.

“I love you hyung. I want you to be free.”

“I love you too kid. More than you will ever believe.” RM looked at him with a concerned expression but all Jungkook saw were the eyes of the kind man he wanted to see smile.

********

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF JACKSON WANG

Jackson wasn’t a nervous man when it came to public speaking, but it is a little more difficult to do when keeping a secret from the audience. 

He knew the secret he kept must be kept hidden yet he couldn’t help but feel there was a giant neon sign over his head with the word liar on it. He looked out at the street below him and wondered if it would be better if he picked a more conventional and safe job, like a bus driver or an office worker. He laughed at himself knowing he would never be happy with the monotony that came with a safe job. 

He looked back up at the cloudy sky and caught a bit of his reflection in the window of the conference room. He looked at the top of his head and searched for the neon sign but it wasn’t there.

Mina was the first to arrive for the briefing. She took her seat quickly, glancing at him for a little longer than necessary with a curious gaze. For a moment, he wondered if she could see what he was hiding.

Everyone piled into the conference room as diligently as they always did yet Yugyeom could never seem to enter without some kind of commotion. The man was younger than most of the officers present and it showed. If he wasn’t so good at his job he would have been fired ages ago.

Yugyeom spun around dangerously in his chair as they waited for everyone to join. Jackson had already known what would happen before it did. Yugyeom lost his balance while spinning quicker than he should have, although any speed would have been too fast, and fell backward. Some of the officers laughed, others looked down in concern, some rolled their eyes, and others pretended not to notice the incident. Those who chose to ignore it were clearly the most bothered of all. They disliked the scene so much they were not even willing to put effort into showing their distaste.

Jackson would have been one of those who laughed if he wasn’t their team leader. “Hey Yugyeom. This isn't a preschool kid. Take your seat and sit on it. Nothing else.”

Yugyeom got up quickly and sent him a cheerful salute. “Yes sir!”

Jackson clapped his hands twice. “Let’s get this meeting started. Jinyoung, please begin the presentation.”

The first slide displayed a picture of Bang Sihyuk and Kim Taemoo side by side on their way out of the BigHit Entertainment building.

Jinyoung rolled up the sleeves of his white and blue pinstriped shirt and adjusted his glasses before beginning. “As we all know, Kim Taemoo, CEO of The Solar Lair, is working under Bang Sihyuk, the CEO of Bighit Entertainment. They are both CEO’s of different corporations but they are one… Hybe. Although Bighit is just a fake entertainment label, it is the heart of Bang Sihyuk’s gang, Hybe. The Solar Lair is just as much a part of Hybe as the drug, weapons, and human trafficking rings we have connected to the gang.”

Jinyoung switched the slide to show a picture of a male in his early 20’s.

“Bang Dowha. Bang Sihyuk’s recently deceased son was murdered by a military general because of the blackmail material they had on him. Apparently, Kim Taemoo gathered this blackmail material while Lee Lim, a top general, visited one of the brothels run within The Solar Lair. Taemoo is secretly collecting blackmail on high profile individuals without Mr. Bang’s knowledge or consent. This blackmail material is being collected through secret cameras and microphones in the brothels. Mr. Bang has not yet made the connection to Taemoo’s club but once he finds out, his relationship with The Solar Lair will become weak and Mr. Bang will likely kill everyone attached to the club. Our job is to collect any intel that connects Hybe and the Solar Lair before Bang kills the people we want to arrest. We can’t do anything without a warrant so we need to make a solid connection between the two before we can raid The Solar Lair. That is everyone’s assignment for now. Keep me posted and let me know if there is anything you need.”

He knew Mina had a question before she even asked it. She always did. She questioned absolutely everything all the time. She never trusted anyone with anything and he liked that about her. She always went out and found the facts on her own rather than hearing it from someone else. It made her a good cop if not the best one on the team, but sometimes he needed her to be a little less observant. Like now. 

“What about the man who was often seen with Dohwa before his death? Jung Hoseok. Where is the government assassin now?” She questioned.

Everyone looked through their reports to find who she was talking about. Jinyoung and Jihyo seemed to be the only ones who already knew where he was.

“He disappeared after Mr.Bang’s men spared his life in the warehouse.” Jackson was partially telling the truth. 

“Could the sparing of his life be relevant to the current assignment?” Yugyeom asked. Yes he was immature but great at what he did. Like Mina, he always knew what to ask.

“He could be. It all depends on what you find. If you find him let me know as well. There could be something there that we don’t know about yet.” He paused and looked around the room, ready to answer any more questions but none came. He dismissed them but there was one person aside from Jinyoung and Jihyo who did not leave.

“Interesting. I'm sure Bang tortured Lee before he killed him. Lee must have said something about the blackmail while they were ripping his nails off. But if what you say is true and Bang really doesn’t know about the blackmail, then how do we know about it? What are you hiding from us?” Mina asked. She was as great at finding the gaps in everything as she was at reading people. 

He knew he couldn’t hide the fact he was hiding something, so he wasn’t going to try to. “I would never hide anything that would put you all at risk. It’s classified.”

She narrowed her eyes at the three who remained in the room. “I guess I’ll leave then.” 

She was also someone who knew when to stop asking questions. If only they could all be like her.

Once Mina was gone and the door was shut, Jackson, Jinyoung, and Jihyo sat close together. They waited for Jinyoung to speak.

He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat before whispering. “I met him yesterday.”

Jackson sighed in relief.

“No, don’t be relieved. It wasn’t planned at all.”

Jihyo’s frown mirrored Jackson’s concern. “What do you mean?”

“I ran into him while grocery shopping. We pretended to chat about a jar of tartar sauce for two minutes.”

“You talked about tartar sauce?” Jackson spoke louder than he should have. The two shushed him immediately so Jinyoung could continue speaking.

“I told him to stop calling us from the phone that we gave him.” Jinyoung continued. “Apparently those calls can be tracked now too. I gave him an encrypted phone but I hope he isn’t caught with two phones. They'll be difficult to hide and it’ll raise suspicion. He won’t be able to carry two phones very often. We'll have to find another way to communicate with him.”

“He’s smart enough to make up an excuse if he is caught. I’m not too worried about that.” Jackson stated.

Jinyoung straightened out his ID card. “You’re worried he’s too good.”

Jackson nodded. “These fight clubs didn’t focus around murder until Kim Taemoo came into power. Now they have a ton of different crime rings bundled into one building. We don’t know what kind of things they’re making our agent do there. Things he can’t tell us about. Bad things.” Jackson rubbed a palm over his face and sighed.

“He’s only supposed to tell us things that can help take down the organization. I highly doubt we’ll get anything out of knowing the crimes he is forced to commit there. The only thing he had to report this time was a new client, the mayor.”

Jihyo scoffed. “First the CNO, now the mayor. These people are willing to hide anything as long as they get money out of it. This country is so corrupt.” She shook her head.

Jinyoung nodded. “A lot of the country’s money is tied up in that gang.” He paused just like he usually did before saying something Jackson did not like to hear.

“What is it?” Jihyo asked.

“He was there with the Lost Boy so we didn’t have much time to talk without seeming suspicious. ” His gaze lowered to the table as did his voice. “I did not get to tell him about the new assignment.”

Jackson immediately felt ill. “This is why you told me not to be relieved.”

Jinyoung nodded cautiously.

Jackson took a moment to take a deep breath and process the amount of stress he just felt appear in his chest. “The chief has been on my ass about this ever since he put the photograph on my desk, yet you decided to talk about tartar sauce instead of his new assignment?” He gritted his teeth to keep from raising his voice.

“I apologize.” Jinyoung bowed his head.

Jackson closed his eyes. “Don’t.” He placed one hand over the bridge of his nose and waved his hand out in front of himself. It was supposed to dismiss Jinyoung’s apology but it might just have raised his blood pressure. “I know you were pressed for time. It’s just stressful for me since the chief won’t shut up about it.” He sighed and opened his eyes. “He wants the big paycheck he’ll get once our agent completes his new mission. He couldn’t give two fucks about the amount of harm this gang is causing. He is the one I am angry at. Not you.” Jinyoung nodded while Jackson took another deep breath. “Jihyo, please give me some better news. Has Youngjae reported anything from Busan?”

Jihyo nodded. “He’s on his way back as we speak. He was able to watch a few fights but wasn’t able to identify who the boss was. We can’t send him back there though. Apparently the Busan police caught him. They weren’t too happy about our presence there.”

Jackson made a sound of frustration. “We’re the Asia Pacific Police Union gang unit, we can operate wherever the gangs operate.”

She shrugged. “Tell them that. Apparently he had to bribe the chief to let him go.”

“Is their chief going to take down this gang for us!?” He slammed both fists into the table.

Jinyoung only watched him like he usually did. He stood there with his calm composure and his glasses and just waited until Jackson was ready to listen or speak again. 

Jihyo didn’t flinch. She just waited until Jackson recovered to speak again. “We’re all doing everything we can. Including you.”

“I know. I just don’t want any more people getting hurt because of this gang.” Jackson rubbed his temples.

“Are you still thinking about the man you watched die in that club as a kid? The one Kim Taemoo killed while the Min’s were still in power?” Jihyo questioned.

Jackson sighed. “I will never forget him. Especially not after his son kicked my ass that day. I hated him for beating me but I couldn’t hate him once his father was being dragged out in a body bag.” He looked out the window and onto the streets of Seoul. That moment of his life had gone by just as quickly as all of the cars, people, and buses traveling outside the window, yet it felt like time had frozen and he had been stuck replaying that same moment for the past decade. “I think about him every day. I want to get revenge for him.”

“We will.” Jihyo encouraged. “I’ll arrange a meeting with our agent and let him know of his new assignment. We need him to bring that man alive so we can end this.”

“We will end this. No matter what.” Jackson looked at the wedding band on his finger and hoped it could all be over before his little girl was born .

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF JEON JUNGKOOK

Jungkook was more than relieved that RM had agreed to keep the mole a secret but the rest of their conversation did not sit well with him. RM had asked him a question he did not want to think about yet it weighed heavily in the back of his mind every second of every day. He felt it trying to push its way forward persistently like a smoker suppressing their craving for nicotine but he shoved it back all while knowing he would eventually torment himself with the reality he wanted to reject. He shoved the thought back and covered it with the freedom that he dreamed of for those he loved.

If Hybe crumbled, so could the chains that were placed around Taehyung’s wrists and ankles at birth.

Unlike Jungkook, Taehyung had been born into the gang. He had been trained to fight as soon as he could walk and learned about finances the moment he learned to count. He began fighting in the club as soon as his body turned from a boy’s to a man’s. He had never been given a choice in his role in the club and his father would never give him one.

There was no way out for him but death.

Taehyung had never been brave enough to rebel against his father and reject such a life. Taehyung accepted his new way of life once they moved to Seoul together with Jimin. He never argued with his father nor defied his commands despite feeling a deep hatred for him as his fear was greater than his hatred. Taehyung had never asked his father for anything either aside from freeing Jin, at least not until now. It was no secret that Taehyung had been the one to save Hoseok from being killed by Dongseok’s hand although it was strange for Taemoo to have accepted his request. Jungkook had heard of and seen how much Taehyung begged and fought for Jin to be free to no avail, so why was this one thing given to Taehyung so easily? Jungkook couldn’t help but feel that Taemoo must have wanted to use Hoseok for something although he didn’t know what, he just knew it was not something good.

Jungkook knew something had changed in Taehyung as soon as the latter saw Jung Hoseok. His eyes brightened and his mouth upturned into a hopeful smile. His eyes were tracking Hoseok wherever he went. Even his ears twitched to follow the man’s voice. Taehyung was attracted to Hoseok like a firefly to light. 

He wasn’t the only one that had been staring. Jimin narrowed his eyes the moment he saw the man, looking confused rather than amazed like Taehyung was. RM’s mouth dropped open at the sight of the man, as if he couldn’t believe who he was seeing. Even Jungkook had been staring. The man had looked oddly familiar but Jungkook could not place his face. He could not recall ever meeting a man so intimidating nor a man so scarred. Silver scars were scattered across his body like shooting stars in a night sky. There were plenty of stars but there was a bright red meteor falling across his face, one that gave everyone a sense of danger. Who had inflicted such a wound on Hoseok and why hadn’t Taemoo been more concerned about it? Could it have been inflicted by Bang himself?

After some discussion, Jimin and Jungkook agreed Hoseok looked familiar although they couldn’t place him.

The look in Taehyung’s eyes made Jungkook wonder if Hoseok was the one he had mumbled about all of these years. 

Taehyung used to regularly lose himself in thought and mumble something about the sun while they were somewhere like his office or in the bar of the club. He never clarified what he meant once he was asked to repeat himself. He only shook his head and went on with his life.

Jungkook was certain he was right about Hoseok being ‘the sun’, but he wasn’t going to get ahead of himself by assuming anything. He was going to ask his friend about it first, which is why he was knocking on Taehyung’s door at four in the morning.

As he waited for the man to open the door, he recalled a time so long ago when he feared his friend would not have opened it once he knocked. How could Taehyung open the door to someone who had attacked him? Jungkook had injured Taehyung severely that awful day so long ago and the latter had not fought back. He only lay on the ground and let Jungkook take out his anger and grief on him while Jimin used all of his strength to stop him.

Jungkook had showed up at Taehyung’s doorstep a month later with a changed heart and a regretful soul. Taehyung had opened the door with a smile and held Jungkook in his arms until the latter cried all of his guilt into his shoulder. He will never forget the warmth he felt as Taehyung held him close and forgave him of all he had done. How could Taehyung have granted Jungkook such mercy? How could he have forgiven him even when he had wronged him so horribly?

If that was not love then he did not know what love was.

He had seen his friend with a new heart that day, a heart that wanted nothing more than to lay in his arms forever.

Jungkook wasn’t surprised when his friend opened the door despite it being so early. Taehyung was nothing but unpredictable and never had a consistent sleeping schedule. Clearly neither of them had been able to sleep last night. Taehyung had learned to live with insomnia but it seemed like Jungkook would never get used to it. Although he did not feel sleepy, his head was pounding with the need for sleep despite trying and failing to do just that.

Taehyung looked as bad as Jungkook felt. Despite his haggard appearance, Taehyung smiled at Jungkook as brightly as he always did. His smile was wide and rectangular and his eyes scrunched softly at the corners. There was a bright glow in Taehyung’s eyes that had never extinguished regardless of all he had been through.

Jungkook smiled back, his body prickling with warmth. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” He patted the side of Taehyung’s soft brown hair.

“I would if I could.” Taehyung laughed and made a mess out of Jungkook’s hair. 

Jungkook smiled and held Taehyung's smooth and slim hand. “I know what will help us sleep.”

Taehyung raised his brows in curiosity.

“Put on your most comfortable walking shoes. I’m taking you somewhere.”

They walked in comfortable silence towards the nearest subway station. They had known each other for so long that there was no need to fill the silence with anything. The silence was more than comfortable, it was essential. They were both trapped in a world that never stopped moving nor demanding their attention. Jungkook was always surrounded by the cheers of the crowd while Taehyung was deafened by the booming music of the night clubs and the whiny managers that never wanted to give their fair share of money. 

Jungkook felt that if he didn’t get a break he would never stop hearing the cheers of the crowd during the few hours of sleep he managed to get throughout the week.

The streets of Seoul were mostly empty aside from the early morning commuters and buses. The sun had not yet risen but there was light on the horizon. The steady hum of the engines and cold breeze gave Jungkook an inexplicable sense of tranquility. He thought of the people that rode those buses and suddenly became jealous of them. 

Of their freedom.

The subway was mostly empty aside from the two friends walking quietly side by side. They didn’t need words to communicate. He could feel his friend's emotional exhaustion, likely thinking about the man Jungkook knew nothing about. He was sure Taehyung could feel a similar emotion coming from Jungkook, although neither of them dared ask what was wrong. They would each speak when they were ready, like they had always done.

They boarded an empty subway car and felt the rails beneath them as they sped on the tracks below Seoul. They sat facing the windows which showed them nothing but the dark walls of the underground.

Song: Palace (No Drums) - Slowed by ADTurnUp

After a few minutes, the train left the tunnels and reached the outside world, revealing a purple dawn sky. The clouds overhead were purple and soft, stained with orange and pink on the ends. The sun had not yet risen but the sky was as bright as it could be without its glow.

It wasn’t until the Han river appeared before them that Jungkook really looked at his friend. He was as handsome as always but he was clearly exhausted. The skin under his eyes was made even darker by the soft purple light. His brown eyes glowed purple under the dawn’s light.

Taehyung gave him a tired smile before looking back out at the water. 

Jungkook became overwhelmed by the sight of his friend and the feeling his smile ignited inside of him. Jungkook would have felt fulfilled in any universe where he and Taehyung could have been together forever. There was something about Taehyung that lit up his entire world brighter than the sun. 

But Taehyung was too busy looking at the sun to notice Jungkook was always looking at him.

“It’s you.” Jungkook confessed.

Taehyung made a hum of confusion, brow furrowing lightly, eyes never leaving the sky.

He looked down at Taehyung’s bruised hands, “You’re the one I love the most.” He looked up at him with as much sincerity as he could portray using his eyes.

But you won’t ever see me if I can’t outshine your sun.

Taehyung watched him for what felt like an eternity.

Jungkook didn’t look at him. He only focused his shy gaze on the purple light outside.

Taehyung’s voice was surprised and concerned all at once. “Why do you say it like that? Is something wrong? Are you going somewhere?” He took one of Jungkook’s hands and squeezed.

Jungkook smiled and shook his head before meeting his friend’s eyes once again. “No, I could never leave you. I just wanted to make sure you know, just in case anything else ever separates us.”

He could see Taehyung knew what he assumed he meant immediately. Their lives were never guaranteed while they were part of Hybe. They knew they could lose each other at any moment but they rarely let themselves remember that.

The only difference was that Jungkook would never be able to cope with Taehyung’s death. Jungkook’s life was like a giant house of cards that toppled easily whenever anything was shifted out of place. Taehyung was one of the cards at the base, the most structurally important card. If that card was removed, his house could never stand again.

He held onto his cross with one hand and held onto Taehyung with the other.

Please God, don’t take him away.

Now, as Jungkook held his friend’s hand, he let himself think about losing him like RM warned and held his hand tighter. “I will never let go of you. I will always fight for you.”

I will never stop being in love with you.

“As will I.” Taehyung looked at him with the same sincerity and squeezed his hand in return before the sky disappeared from their sight and they plunged back into the darkness.

“Fuck I’m so tired.” Taehyung put one hand on his knees and used the other to block out the sun overhead. “How can you get five hours of sleep a week and be so energetic?”

They were hiking up the Bukhansan mountain which made their breaths more labored and the sun brighter. The wind was freezing despite the sun’s blazing rays. Taehyung’s nose and ears were tinted pink from the cold air all while sweat slowly built up on his hairline.

“It's the vitamin D.” Jungkook explained easily. “We’re always so trapped in that dark cave that it’s easy to feel energized with sunlight exposure.” He used one of his hands to block out the strongest of the bright rays hitting his eyes.

“I hate the sun. The sun is trying to kill me.” Taehyung wiped sweat off his forehead before it dripped into his eyes.

“He was my sun. I need to find him again.”

The memory sparked realization in Jungkook. It took him a lot of courage to ask but he managed. “Is he the sun?”

 “What?” Taehyung asked, confused.

Jungkook swallowed hard. “Jung Hoseok. Is he the one you’ve been looking for the past decade? The sun?” He held his breath, hoping his suspicions were not confirmed.

Taehyung’s worry lines appeared and he squinted. “Is he? Are we not all different people now? He’s no longer the Hoseok I once knew, just like I’m not the same Taehyung as then. I’ve moved on.” His expression remained flat before he continued to hike up through the thick foliage.

Jungkook did not believe Taehyung had ever moved on. He will never forget how upset Taehyung was after he was forced to leave Jumunjin. He begged his father to let them stay another day but he insisted there was no reason to since the school year was practically over. Once Taehyung saw that his father wasn’t going to change his mind about going to Seoul, he called Jimin and Jungkook to meet immediately. They all met at the usual bus stop by the beach​ and sat on the cold sand, trying to work out Taehyung’s situation.

He told them the story of Jung Hoseok that day. The story Jungkook always hated to remember. Taehyung had been watching Hoseok from afar ever since they started high school. He walked past his dance class and waited to watch him leave on his bike every day. Jungkook remembered seeing Taehyung holding someone’s hand in the hall once but he was too angry to look at the male’s face let alone his nametag. Taehyung told them he had promised to find Jung Hoseok again but his promise could not be fulfilled since he was leaving for Seoul the following morning despite him not having seen the boy in over a year. Taehyung tried to run away that morning but his father caught him and dragged him into the car.

The boy Taehyung had hidden from Jimin and Jungkook had meant more to him than either of them had thought.

So much that he claimed he had lost the sun.

Every once in a while, Jungkook would catch Taehyung looking at the sunlight and sighing, just like he was now.

“Has he moved on too?” Jungkook asked, although Taehyung’s eyes told him that the answer was not the one he was content with.

His nod was feeble. “He said we should forget about the past.” Taehyung said as stoically as he could but Jungkook could feel the pain radiating off his body. 

Jungkook’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Bullshit. You are not someone that people just forget about. Is he really that upset that you never came back to Jumunjin? Does he not understand it was all out of your control?” He felt himself getting angry at a man he had only seen a few times in his life. He didn’t have to know him to be angry at him. He wasn’t going to be friendly with someone who hurt his best friend. Yes, he was relieved Hoseok did not have any romantic intentions with Taheyung, but seeing the one he loved hurt was not something he could tolerate.

Taehyung shrugged and continued walking. “He has a right to be upset. I promised to find him and I broke my promise. He is an assassin now. I was probably the last thing on his mind all of those years he spent training and killing.”

“Stop that.” Jungkook’s tone was dripping with fury. “Don’t justify that piece of shit. You’re not a man one has for only one night! You’re someone to have for a lifetime! You are worth more than this!”

I would value you so much more, but there is no place for me when the sun is in your eyes.

Taehyung furrowed his brow. “Just drop it Jungkook. He doesn’t owe me anything. He’s free to feel as he does. We’ve moved on from our childish past. Let it go. Don’t get into any fights with him either.” Taehyung slipped on a wooden step and fell backwards only to be caught by Jungkook. He managed to place his arms under Taehyung’s arms and supported all of his weight against his chest.

Normally, they would have laughed, but the mood was different.

“I’m not going to drop it. Dropping it would be dropping you and I will never do that.”  Jungkook pushed Taehyung back into a standing position.

Taehyung sighed and straightened out his black jacket. “I understand, but please let me sort this out on my own.”

They gave each other defensive glares until Jungkook walked away to give himself a moment to compose himself. That fucker had been the object of Taehyung’s desire for an entire decade and he had the audacity to come forward and claim he’s moved on? What kind of idiot would let someone like Taehyung pass them by? Especially when things would not be one sided like it would have been for Jungkook. How could Hoseok reject Taehyung? How could Hoseok hurt the one Jungkook loved? 

By the time Jungkook turned to look back at Taehyung he was not any less upset and neither was Taehyung as he still held the same glare on his face. Jungkook took a deep breath and composed his expression. “Fine. Only because you’re asking me to. Although it doesn’t mean I’m going to be nice to the fucker.” Jungkook imagined his fist landing in the center of Hoseok’s face and felt a twinge of satisfaction. If only he could find an excuse to turn his thought into reality.

Taehyung’s expression softened and he laughed. “Even if I asked you to, I know you wouldn’t.”

“Nope.” Jungkook smiled at his friend.

Taehyung laughed and patted his shoulder before they continued on their hike. His friend continued laughing and smiling as usual but Jungkook knew his mind was elsewhere, on Hoseok. It hurt Jungkook every single time he thought about it but he had to make himself understand that Taehyung would never love him like Jungkook did.

Taehyung would never look away from the sun.

Jungkook’s fight that night was just like any fight. He had never understood why the crowd loved watching him so much. His fights were repetitive and too easily won. The gore was excessive and his opponents never presented enough of a challenge for him. The only time he truly enjoyed fighting was when he was sparring with RM as he was the only one that matched and even exceeded Jungkook’s skill level.

Jungkook liked to find RM after every fight and have a drink with him when the latter was available. It wasn’t always possible but they always tried to make time for each other when they could. He approached his hyung now, hopeful to get an opportunity to spend time with the man whom he admired the most.

“Hyung!” Jungkook approached RM’s desk and clapped him on the back happily. Jungkook could never get used to the feeling of RM’s hard muscle under his palm. The feeling always ignited forgotten feelings in his flesh.

His hyung looked up and smiled at him before running his hand over Jungkook’s wet hair.

Jungkook felt like he was in a trance whenever he looked at his hyung. There was something about him that drew him in. Something he could not describe, only feel. To him, there was no better person alive than RM.

“How was your fight?” RM asked before moving his focus back to the screen.

Jungkook had never focused on RM’s screen after he had seen one of the escorts getting raped the one time he decided to look. He always avoided the screen whenever he could but RM suddenly became very focused on a shot of Jin. He was in a room with a few men, pouring them drinks and being forced to sit on one of their laps.

Jungkook shrugged. “Just like any other fight I guess.” He moved closer to the screen when he saw something that really bothered him. “Is he..?”

The man Jin was sitting on was gripping his thigh under the table. His hand was moving up quickly. Jin’s belt buckle was undone before they realized it. Jin moved the male’s hand away, saying something Jungkook couldn’t hear, when the client put his hands around Jin’s neck and began squeezing.

Jungkook reacted before his mind did.

Unfortunately, RM was faster and stronger than him. He stood quickly and managed to grab Jungkook’s arm to pull him back. He held him by the shoulders with a raging look on his face. It always scared Jungkook how fast RM could switch from sweet friend to terrifying man. He looked up at the tall man who blocked out all the light from Jungkook’s view. His gray eyes were narrowed in a furious glare, looking down at Jungkook as if he were his worst enemy. “Stop. They’re clients. We can’t get involved. You’re going to hurt Jin if you go in there.” 

Jungkook shook him off almost as quickly as RM had gotten a hold of him and thrust a finger at the screen. “Jin is our friend! You’re telling me that you let these things happen to Jin under your watch?” Jungkook was raging now.

The fury in RM’s voice increased exponentially. “Yes.”

His answer made Jungkook’s image of him crack.

RM raised his voice, its deep bass pulsing in Jungkook’s chest. “You’re relying on your own understanding of things right now. Jin doesn’t come before business for Taemoo. I will send security in there if things get out of hand. Stop trying to implement your own will and walk away before you make things worse for Jin.”

“It’s already gone too far!” Jungkook pointed at the screen where one of the man’s hands had entered Jin’s pants and the other was still firm on his throat all while the latter was actively pushing him away. “I’m going to help him.”

RM dragged him back. “Why are you choosing to reject wise counsel? Please listen to me. If you go in, Taemoo will hurt Jin more than that old fuck ever could. Don’t go. That’s an order.” RM watched him as if his eyes could shove the idea into Jungkook’s head.

Song: Loose Cannon by Puzzle

“Fuck you and your orders.” Jungkook shoved him away and sprinted up the stairs to the underground escort rooms. He ran down the black marbled hall and found the door to Jin’s room and kicked it open with all the force he could muster. Thankfully, the door gave away easily under his foot. Jungkook was in a blinded rage. He was ready to trample anyone and anything in his way that was not Jin. 

He knocked out the taller bodyguard near the door with one punch before the others could react. The other bodyguards immediately charged at him but Jungkook was faster. He used their shoulders as leverage and jumped over them to get into the room. He grabbed the old man choking Jin and threw him against the wall. The other escorts and clients in the room yelled and ran out of the room.

Someone caught his arm from behind before he could strike the old man he had tossed aside. Jungkook took her arm and flipped the woman over in one swift motion. She landed on the large table with a large shatter. The glass scattered across the floor like water spilled out of a bucket. Another man came charging at him and threw a punch towards Jungkook. He caught the man’s arm, twisted it, and then flipped him on top of the unconscious woman on the ground. Jungkook allowed himself to catch a glimpse of Jin with the two bodyguards momentarily down. 

He sat in the same place he was when Jungkook had entered the room. He was watching Jungkook quietly, still trying to catch his breath. His belt buckle was redone and his shirt was buttoned all the way up now. He didn't look afraid, in fact, he looked amused.

He never realized how protective he felt over Jin until now. He suddenly felt self conscious and he felt warmth spreading to his face. His embarrassment made his face redder yet Jin’s expression didn’t change until someone slashed Jungkook’s arm with a knife.

Jungkook rammed the greasy old man’s head into the wall before tossing him aside, picking up a sharp fragment of a broken bottle, and facing the tall thin man that had entered the room. Jungkook didn’t specialize in weapons but he hoped that the little he had picked up from Suga would pay off today.

And so it did. He managed to dodge the man’s next strike and impale his own piece of glass into the man’s left deltoid, rendering his arm useless. He used his fist to knock out the man and then waited for the guards to regain consciousness.

When they didn't, the greasy old man complained about calling the police while he held a wad of tissue to a bleeding scalp wound.

Jungkook straightened out his jacket and rolled out his eyes. “Do it. I dare you.” He pulled the man’s Nokia out of his pocket and dialed the number for him. “Hello? Yes I would like to report-”

He took the phone from Jungkook’s hand and ended the call.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” He slammed his fist into the man’s head and watched his consciousness leave his body.

He took a moment to catch his breath before turning to face Jin.

Jin was looking down at his arm and at the puddle of blood that was forming on the floor. “Do you need some help with that?” He offered, his face unimpressed.

“Please.”

********

THE DAYS OF MIN YOONGI

Suga liked Hoseok.

He was a man of few words, but everything he said held purpose. It was nothing like the meaningless babble that had left the mouth of the mischievous Geunwon. To Suga, Hoseok wasn’t a replacement, he was a top of the line upgrade. Throughout his training, Hoseok had proved himself competent in both combat and clerical matters. He had breezed through his initiation and easily picked up on the way the club was run.

Hoseok had an aura of trust and righteousness that Suga couldn’t ignore. He was eager to learn and even more eager to do his job right. He absorbed all of Suga’s instructions like a sponge. Suga rarely had to repeat himself or remind Hoseok of anything. It was only when Taehyung was around that Hoseok got distracted. 

Taehyung had a habit of roaming around Suga’s office which made Hoseok visibly tense. He didn’t know nor care why the two were always acting strange around each other although he had an idea. He briefly recalled their tense exchange the night Taehyung stepped in on behalf of Hoseok in front of Taemoo. Taehyung looked hopeful to meet Hoseok again but the latter looked as uninterested as one could be. It was clear the man only came to work and nothing else. Hoseok did not care about whatever past he and Taehyung had shared. It was clear he was not going to let it get in his way. It was one of the many reasons as to why Suga liked Hoseok so much. It didn’t matter to Suga what kind of relationship the two men pursued moving forward as long as the two continued to perform their jobs smoothly.

They sat in Suga’s office now, finishing up Hoseok’s training for the night.

“Okay Hoseok, tell me what you’ve learned about this place so far.”

Hoseok nodded. “The two floors above ground are the night club run by Yang Yijeong. The first floor underground is a regular gambling den run by Shin Donghyuk. The brothel and the escort rooms are below that. Those are run by Do Gangjae. Below that is the floor we’re in right now. This is where we keep the money, infirmary, offices, and the party drug storage. It is also where the fight club managed by the Spine Breaker is. Kim Taeju is Taemoo’s lawyer, son, personal assistant, and Jin’s manager. You are in charge of the managers in the entire building so you’re the real boss here despite Taemoo thinking he is. In regard to Hybe, Choi Ryu is in charge of human trafficking, Kim Taeho is in charge of the weapons, and Han Hyunrock is in charge of drugs. We don’t know how they operate, we just keep to ourselves and they do the same. Together, those branches supply the weapons for the drug rings, drugs for the clubs, and bodies for the brothels while we supply the money to support them. We rely on each other. The other Solar Lair clubs have their own managers but Taemoo oversees them all.”

Suga was not impressed by Hoseok’s perfect recollection only because he fully expected him to pick up on things as quickly as he did. Hoseok could never impress Suga as his expectations for him were already so high as he had proved himself so competent. “Good. You pick things up very quickly. We’re done for the night but let’s see who we can introduce you to before we go. You haven’t really met anyone besides Taehyung have you?” Suga stood up from his desk and motioned Hoseok to follow. He spotted their first target as soon as they stepped out of his office. “We’ll start with them.”

“Who?”

“JK and Jin.”

Jungkook made his way past them with Jin trailing behind. Jungkook looked angry while Jin looked as calm as could be. Jungkook was holding onto his bloodied left arm which left a small trail of blood down the dark black marble of the hall and towards the brothel. It soaked his white button up shirt and left a trail down his left leg.

Suga watched Hoseok examine the blood as they made their way past them, Jungkook giving Hoseok a glare over his shoulder.

“JK, the one who is bleeding, is the son of a former fighter. He specializes in boxing but mostly partakes in freestyle non-weapon matches. He was training to be a professional boxer but he gave up once his father and coach died in a fight in our ring.” Suga looked back at Jungkook and Jin before they entered the infirmary. “Taemoo killed his father to take his place as the coliseum’s main fighter.”

“If that’s the case then why does Jungkook stay so close to Taemoo?”

Suga looked back at him. “Keep your friends close… you know the rest.” He looked over Hoseok’s shoulder and at Jungkook and Jin who had just turned the corner into the infirmary. Something must have gone wrong for Jungkook to be injured. He made a mental note to check back once he sent Hoseok off for the night.

“Jin is a doctor. His parents forced him to go to medical school and completely disowned him once he quit the profession. He was unemployed when Taehyung brought him to the club to distract him. Taemoo kidnapped him then. Since then he has kept him like a pet and has refused to let him go since. He forces him to work as a doctor here and frequently sells him to the highest bidder for the night despite using him as his personal whore.”

“He’s being held hostage?”

Suga nodded. “I told you that people are trafficked here but it’s done differently. Most people who work in the brothels work voluntarily. Choi moves people from the north into the south. He gives the people the option to work at the brothel. Most younger people choose to. For some, it’s the only way they can make money in the south. None of them were forced to work here although they are all forced to stay. Jin is the only one that wasn’t given an option.”

Suga pictured his friend and remembered the underlying sadness under his mostly expressionless face.

They spotted Jimin shortly afterward. He had his hands in the pockets of his black slacks which caused the sleeves of his burgundy button up shirt to bunch up at his wrists. He ignored Suga and gave Hoseok a small bow before walking into his office.

Hoseok pretended not to notice the hostility between them and returned the bow. He patiently waited for Suga to continue speaking as they made their way down the hall.

“Jimin ran away right before he graduated high school. His father wanted him to be the first olympic gold medalist in Taekwondo once the sport was officially added to the games but Jimin wanted to be a dancer. That didn’t work out so now he manages the fight club. People call him the Spine Breaker because he broke his opponent’s spine during his audition match in the ring.”

RM wasn’t too far away, sitting at his desk as usual with his bright yellow hair and headphones over his ears. He paid them no attention as they walked past, his focus on the screen in front of him, but his mind was lost behind his furious gaze. “RM came to Seoul and tried to become a writer but quickly realized life wasn’t as easy as he thought. Dongseok found him on the street and thought he had a body made for fighting. He threw away the old name that tied him to his past life and chose to go by RM. He started out as a fighter but he was too smart to continue in the ring so now he collects blackmail for Taemoo to use against large corporations. You’d be surprised by the things people say once you sit a pretty lady in their lap.”

They walked past the noisy colosseum and made it to the elevator and Suga pressed the button that led up to the club.

“Mr. Bang doesn’t know about that though. He’s not supposed to either. Taemoo would get in a lot of trouble if Mr. Bang found out. Not because he doesn’t like his methods, but because he isn’t receiving any of the profits.” Suga laughed sarcastically. “Bang would have found out if we hadn’t killed his son’s murderer before he got to him. Maybe we shouldn’t have killed Lee Lim so quickly.”

Hoseok’s head turned sharply. “What are you talking about?”

Suga looked down at his rings. “I know about your involvement with Bang Dohwa.” He met Hoseok’s eyes which had clouded over with grief. The red scar on his face looked almost black in the dim lighting of the elevator. “Taemoo sent Agust to kill Lee Lim to keep him quiet, not to avenge Dohwa like he claimed.”

Hoseok looked down at the ground, eyes swimming through his thoughts.

The music was overwhelmingly loud once they stepped out of the elevator. So loud it didn’t let Suga think of what he wanted to say next. He guessed that was the point of the club. It allowed people to let loose and forget about the horrible things going through their minds.

They found their way to the dark bar under the second floor balcony. Suga was ordering them some drinks when he turned around to see a familiar figure walk in. Suga motioned to the door and shouted over the music. “The one walking in is Agust.”

Agust was walking into the club, likely coming back from an assignment. He wore a long black leather coat and his shoulder length black hair was slicked back. The red scar that began at the top of his right brow and ended just below his right cheek bone was just as red as always.

“He’s my older brother by a year. We’re not actually twins but people say we look exactly the same.” It was then that Suga realized Agust was walking towards the bar.

“You do. Exactly the same.” Hoseok remarked absentmindedly as he looked back at Agust, mind still lost in thought.

Suga laughed bitterly. “It is rumored Agust killed his real twin, King, as revenge for killing our parents.” 

Hoseok’s eyes widened. “Did he?”

Suga hurried to finish the story as quickly as he could before Agust made it to the bar. “He has to kill anyone he is sent to kill or else he faces consequences worse than death.” He shook his head before continuing. “It’s complicated.” 

Hoseok raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment. 

“He’s an expert in Japanese martial arts and guns. He is the only one in the club besides me, Taehyung, Dongseok and Taemoo that are allowed to have a gun, although if you ask me, there’s no competition in terms of skill. He could have been great in the military.”

Suga turned to Jun. “Serve Agust whatever drink he wants. It’s on me but tell him it’s on the house.”

Song: World and Above by Datfootdive

Agust pushed his coat back before sitting in the empty seat next to Hoseok without acknowledging their presence and ordering.

“Agust.” Suga called out.

“What?” He grunted before giving Hoseok a double take and finally resting his eyes on Suga. His scowl dropped for the few seconds he watched Hoseok.

“On the house.” Jun gave Agust his drink but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Have you officially met Hoseok?” Suga asked.

“We’ve met, but not officially.” Agust looked at Hoseok and took a long swing of his drink while keeping his eyes locked onto him.

Hoseok realized they were waiting for him to speak so he did. “Jung Hoseok, nice to meet you.”  He stood and bowed before taking his seat.

Agust never looked away. “Agust.” He didn’t stand, he only gave Hoseok a small bow with his head.

Suga knew that introducing Hoseok and Agust would either be extremely difficult or extremely smooth. He didn’t know if he was concerned or relieved that the encounter was civil.

“They should have put you with me instead.” Agust said before finally moving his gaze away and looking mindlessly at the bar, a thin strand of gelled black hair falling into his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asked, confused.

Agust’s eyes instilled the same fear that a lion’s did when he targeted his gaze on Hoseok. “I’m the assassin here, remember?” His coat was open just enough for them to see the small blood splatters on his white button up shirt and the double gun holster strapped on his chest.

Hoseok’s expression remained blank.

Agust looked back at the amber collection of drinks at the bar. “Taemoo expects me to slaughter everyone on my own while Taehyung gets two competent people to help him collect. Ridiculous.” Agust shook his head and chugged his drink before mumbling something else about Taehyung and heading to the elevator.

Hoseok watched him leave with an amused expression.

“Don’t mind him, he’s a bit prickly. He seems scary, but he’s good on the inside.” Suga wasn’t sure if he was telling himself or Hoseok.

“He’s been misunderstood.” Hoseok answered firmly, as if it were a fact rather than an assumption.

Suga nodded before downing his drink.

“What is he like?” Hoseok asked suddenly while looking up to the balcony.

Song: First Contact by Datfootdive

Suga followed his gaze up to the second floor of the club where Taehyung was currently flirting with a pretty female. He was already standing close to the woman but he slid a finger slowly under the strap of the woman’s red, backless, halter dress and pulled her even closer. He had the same smirk on his face that he always did when he was trying to seduce someone. He was saying something into the woman’s ear that they couldn’t hear over the music. The woman looked hypnotized by Taehyung’s words and leaned closer into him, her red lips dangerously close to his. Taehyung looked down at Suga and Hoseok and mouthed a clear “catch” before the woman’s wallet-sized purse came falling down and landed in Suga’s hands. Next came the woman’s watch and a gold ring. Taehyung winked at Hoseok once he caught the jewelry.

He didn’t miss the way Hoseok’s brows furrowed either in distaste, or jealousy.

“Ah, isn't it convenient that the bar happens to be right under the balcony?” Suga laughed before continuing. “You’ve met him. He’s just… Taehyung.” He shrugged. “He’s an open book. Ask him anything you want to know. He’ll tell you whatever you want and a little bit more.”

Hoseok looked down at the jewelry in his hands with a distant gaze.

Taehyung walked down the stairs shortly after and approached them. “Let’s see how much we have today.” He took a swig of Hoseok’s untouched drink before putting his hand out for the wallet.

Hoseok seemed startled by his approach.

Taehyung sighed in disappointment. “Only one million won. I thought she would have more.” He turned to Hoseok and took his time grabbing the jewelry from his hands. Suga didn’t miss the way Taehyung looked at Hoseok.

Suga raised a brow at Taehyung. “That lady couldn’t have possibly let you flirt with her and then abandon her, at least not without something in return.” 

“Of course not. Don’t worry, I’ll settle my tabs the way I deem fit.” Taehyung winked before holding up the jewelry in the light and examining it with a hum. “Bet I can get a few more million from these. What do you think, Hoseok?”

“I don’t care for jewelry.” He responded dryly.

Taehyung leaned on the bar and shot an eager glance at the small section of skin flashing under Hoseok’s neck. “You should.” He moved his face closer to Hoseok’s. “You’d look beautiful in anything I own.” The seduction in his voice and eyes was clear.

“I’m not interested, thank you.” Hoseok drank the rest of his drink before meeting Taehyung’s eyes.

Taehyung’s eyes remained locked onto Hoseok’s. Taehyung’s expression remained the same, but there was something softening in his eyes as he watched the man.

Hoseok’s expression would have been viewed as annoyed if there wasn’t a hint of engrossment in his eyes.

Suga felt like he shouldn’t have been watching them. He felt like he was intruding on something although he didn’t know what.

Taehyung leaned closer and narrowed his eyes slightly. “I can see that.” He said once Hoseok finally looked away.

The atmosphere became tense as Hoseok looked down at his empty glass.

“Jungkook is injured.” Suga changed the subject.

“Is it bad?” Taehyung kept his critical gaze on Hoseok.

“He’ll be fine. Maybe you should go check on him.” Suga downed the last of his drink.

“Hm I don’t want to leave just yet.” He watched Hoseok swirl his empty glass around, his voice taking on a defeated tone. “But I’ll go. I’ll see you around Hoseok.” 

********

THE DAYS OF JEON JUNGKOOK

Jungkook never thought he would have Jin sitting this close to him, let alone asking him to undress.

“Take off your shirt.” Jin ordered.

It felt wrong. It felt like Taemoo was going to barge in at any moment and shoot Jungkook in the head for looking at Jin without paying.

He was sitting on a bed of the empty infirmary with Jin sitting on a round stool in front of him. They were hidden behind the privacy of a creamy white curtain which was stained yellow in some places. Jungkook knew they were doing nothing wrong, but he knew they could be watched by someone on the security camera at any moment. RM was probably watching them now although he knew his friend would never harm either of them. He just hoped no one else decided to look over the man’s gargantuan shoulder. One suspicious move on either of their part and Taemoo would send an army in to tear Jungkook limb from limb and burn his trunk alive.

What concerned him the most was RM. He knew that the man was upset with Jungkook. The thought was enough to make Jungkook upset. He never thought RM would stand by and let Jin be the subject of such treatment. It was something that he expected from Taemoo sure, but his hyung? He was disappointed with his hyung, but he didn’t want to stay mad with him. He wanted to mend the drift he had placed between them with his harsh words and hold his hyung’s hand until he blushed.

“Jungkook.” Jin repeated, breaking Jungkook out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Jungkook felt his cheeks warming, feeling sheepish at the request the man had made of him only moments ago.

“I can’t access your wound if you keep your shirt on.” Jin moved his eyes from Jungkook’s to the gash on his left forearm.

The wound was deep and actively bleeding under the cloth Jin had quickly wrapped around his arm as they left the escort room. Jungkook knew that somewhere deep inside he was upset about sustaining an injury from a dirty bottle but all he could focus on was Jin.

He had never really looked at the man aside from the times Taehyung would invite them all out together. Jin always kept to himself, mostly only speaking to Taehyung and occasionally Yoongi. He was sure it had something to do with Taemoo’s control over him. He always saw Jin watching the others with a fond expression, likely wanting to join into their conversation but unable to due to his fear of Taemoo’s hold over him.

It was one of the many reasons Jungkook absolutely despised the fucker.

Jin laid out a metal tray on a disposable mat as well as some bandages, a few bottles, and a needle. Jungkook hated needles.

“Okay.” Jungkook began unbuttoning his shirt with his freehand but he was fumbling with the buttons. He never realized how difficult it would be to undress with one hand and his nervous shaking was not helping. He was about to give up and tear his shirt open when he realized how still Jin was sitting.

Jin sat patiently, waiting with his hands on his thighs. “Do you need help?” Jin looked satisfied watching Jungkook struggle which only made his face grow warmer.

He gave a weak nod and braced for Jin’s incoming touch.

His fingers were careful to avoid Jungkook’s skin, touching only the fabric. He undid the buttons quickly and delicately. 

Jungkook moved his gaze up to his face. Beautiful was such a common word that he didn’t want to use to describe Jin. Jin was far from common and greater than beautiful. He had strong dark brows and glittering eyes that resembled half moons. His plump glossy lips held a soft cherry tint to them. Jungkook wondered briefly if they tasted as sweet as they looked.

“Am I that handsome?” Jin’s smile was mischievous but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“What?” Jungkook said, startled. He clenched his fists to keep them from shaking, still thinking about the needle.

“You keep staring.” Jin took hold of Jungkook’s right wrist and tugged on it lightly. “Pull your arm out.”

He couldn’t focus on anything other than Jin’s skin on his own.

This is wrong.

Jin helped him free his good arm out of the shirt and then the injured. Jin donned gloves and handled him so gently that Jungkook didn’t flinch when the fabric that clung to his raw skin was tugged free. It would have stung if he wasn’t so focused on the fact that he was alone with Jin and his upper body was bare. Thousands of people have seen him without a shirt before but he wasn’t sure if Jin had. Jin rarely had time to watch the fights let alone Jungkook’s. He was always the last act of the night which meant the infirmary was likely full by the time Jungkook's time to fight came. It left Jin with no free time to watch him, even with Joshua’s and Yeonjun’s aid in the hospital and infirmary.

Jungkook’s body was very well taken care of, yet he felt afraid of being bare because the man under Taemoo’s ownership was staring at his chest.

“Pretty.” Jin commented quietly.

“Huh?” Jungkook’s neck flushed brightly.

“Your cross.” Jin looked up to Jungkook, then his lips.

That’s when Jungkook realized he was rotating his lip ring with his tongue out of nervousness. Jungkook stopped and Jin cleared his throat and turned to the table where he laid out his tools. The motion gave Jungkook a brief glimpse of Jin’s pink ears. 

“Oh, th- thank you.” Jungkook stuttered.

“Are you having any trouble moving your hand?”

Jungkook opened and closed his hand, tugging on the laceration with each move. He then rotated his wrist and stopped when more blood came out of his arm. “It’s okay, it's just painful.” He hissed.

Jin examined the wound. “Hm I’m surprised the brachioradialis isn’t damaged. You’re a lucky man aren’t you?” Jin turned back and placed a gloved hand on the wrist of Jungkook’s still bleeding arm. He lifted it up carefully and placed a stack of towels underneath it. “I’m going to clean your wound first and then we’re going to place some stitches. I’ll also leave a bottle of antibiotics for you to take to prevent infection. The instructions will be on the bottle.”

“Stitches?” Jungkook couldn’t keep the panic out of his tone.

He raised a brow, “Are you trying to tell me you’re afraid of needles when half of your skin is covered in ink?”

“It’s different.” Jungkook could feel himself start breaking out in a cold sweat. “They don’t sew your skin together at the tattoo parlor.”

“Fair.” Jin said, amused. A corner of his lips turned up for a second before he turned over and covered the needle with a small square of gauze. “We can ignore that for now but we will have to come back to it later. Is that okay?” His tone was professional but soothing.

“It has to be doesn’t it?” Jungkook grumbled.

“Well I don’t have to do anything you don’t want me to. You have the right to refuse treatment. I just have to explain the risks. If we leave it open you run a much greater risk of infection and your wound would take much longer to heal. It’ll also bleed more and leave a larger scar than it would have if I had put in the stitches. Chances are it won’t heal properly and it will likely dehisce meaning it can rip open again after partially healing.”

The mental image made his stomach turn and a shiver run down his spine. “Stitches it is.”

Jin laughed quietly. “I thought so. I’ll begin cleaning now.” He picked up a bottle of something clear and began pouring it into his wound.

“Ah shit it burns!” Jungkook hissed.

“It’s just sterile saline.” Jin tried and failed to hide a smile.

“I know,” No he didn’t, “but it still burns.” He felt himself pouting.

Jin didn’t hold back his smile now. His plush lips upturned and his eyes sparkled brightly as they met Jungkook’s.

Jungkook looked away quickly as he was not accustomed to seeing the handsome doctor smile.

“I’m sorry, it won’t last long.” The amusement was clear in Jin’s voice. ”I have to clean it so it doesn’t get infected.” He continued dousing his arm with the fire water, then another brown solution which really burned.

It felt like Jin was pouring acid into his wound but he tried to hold it in as best he could. The antiseptic and blood mixed together into a dirty fluid that dribbled down onto the towels under his arm. The laceration on the side of his forearm was more visible the more Jin ran the solution along it. It was longer and deeper than Jungkook had realized. It went all the way from his elbow down to his wrist. He was surprised the muscles there weren’t damaged.

He felt himself go cold and clammy as he thought of how many stitches it would take to close such a wound. He knew there was no way out of the procedure so he had to stop worrying about it and focus on the bruises forming on Jin’s neck.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked shakily.

Jin’s brows furrowed. “I didn’t get injured. You did.”

Jungkook felt his body temperature begin to rise again. “What are you talking about? You got strangled by that bastard.”

Jin spoke as casually as if he were talking about the weather. “Nothing new. Everyone wants to put their hands on me these days.” He turned away and reached for something on the table. “This is to numb you so you won’t feel the pain.” He brought out a syringe with a long needle attached to it.

Jungkook felt the sweat start running down his back again. “Will it hurt?” He felt his breath catching in his throat.

“I won’t feel a thing.” Jin laughed brightly and smacked his own knee.

Jungkook wanted to laugh. He really did, but he felt like if he opened his mouth he would vomit.

Jin cleared his throat and composed himself before mumbling a quiet apology.

He suppressed the feeling once Jin placed a hand on his shoulder and sat up to his eye level. “It’s three pokes. It might hurt at first, but this is only so you don’t feel the multiple pricks when I do the stitches. If you need me to stop at any point I will.”

He barely registered any of Jin’s words. He was hyper focused on the weight of his gloved hand on his bare shoulder and the way his eyes moved between Jungkook's.

“Okay.” He managed to croak.

Jin gave his shoulder a slight rub before reaching for the syringe again. “I’ll warn you before I poke. Look at anything but the needle.” Jin reached for his arm and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from stiffening. Jin rubbed the uninjured side of his forearm. “Shh it’s okay, relax darling. You’re starting to worry me. You’re getting whiter than Yoongi. Don’t collapse on me.”

“Okay.” Jungkook melted at the nickname and easily relaxed his body. His temperature was definitely higher now. The fluctuations had begun to make him dizzy when Jin spoke again.

“Big poke.” Jin warned before Jungkook’s skin stung with anesthetic. It wasn’t so much the feeling itself, it was just the thought of the needle itself entering his body that made him uneasy. He tightened the fist of his good arm.

“Talk to me.” Jin suggested. “Ramble on about whatever you’d like to distract yourself from what’s happening.”

“Okay.” His voice trembled. “Are you really okay?”

Jin paused to look at Jungkook. He looked surprised that he had asked again. He looked around past Jungkook, as if the answer was written somewhere behind him. “I’m okay. It happens often. I’m used to it.” There was uncertainty in his voice. He refocused and reached forward again, “Another poke.”

The second one stung more than the first and Jungkook hissed. His knee was bouncing frantically now.

Jin placed a free hand on his knee which made Jungkook stop. “Only one more.” He said as they locked eyes.

“Okay.” Jungkook released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He didn’t look away from Jin’s face as he placed the third injection.

The final one didn’t hurt.

“Done. Now let’s wait a few minutes for it to take effect before we start stitching.” 

Jungkook flinched at the thought. “You shouldn’t feel anything but if you do it’ll be nothing but a little bit of pressure. It won’t feel anything like the anesthetic I just placed.” Jin reassured him.

Jungkook couldn’t help but repeat his words in his mind while Jin turned back to the table.

I’m used to it.

His blood boiled as he thought of all the times Jin had to be hurt and groped against his will for him to be so calm while a filthy old man was shoving his skeletal wrinkly hands into his pants and then onto his throat. No one should ever get used to being touched against their will let  alone strangled. Taemoo should have never done this to Jin. Jungkook was well aware that Taemoo used Jin for sex. It was one of the many reasons why he wanted the man dead. He wanted to rip the monster’s throat out despite him being Taehyung’s father.

“Why does Taemoo sell you if he’s so possessive of you? He’s gotten people murdered for staring at you for too long.” Jungkook asked.

Jin shrugged as if the answer was obvious. “Money of course. He sells me to the highest bidder once in a while, a bidder you interrupted tonight. It has to be a significant amount of money for him to even consider. Sometimes he sells me when he has someone he really wants information out of. Sometimes he auctions me off as a pony trick to entertain his guests. He does it whenever it’s convenient for him.” He clicked his tongue. “He’s probably fuming right now. You’ll have to find a good excuse for what you’ve done and find a way to make it up to him.”

Convenient. That’s what Jin was to Taemoo. A convenient way to get off and get money.

Jungkook gripped the sheets of the infirmary bed. “There is nothing to make up for. I did nothing wrong. He’s the one that sells you. He’s the one that imprisoned you. He should be the one making it up to you.”

“You tell him that.” Jin challenged.

“I’ll tell him all that and more the day I kill him.” Jungkook tightened his good first.

Jin looked at his good fist and raised his brows, unimpressed. “Wow, you seem very serious about that. You hate him that much?”

“Don’t you?”

Jin’s breath shook. “The way I feel about him can’t be put into words. I can’t even begin to explain it.”

Jungkook watched the anger pass over Jin’s expression. He believed Jin because Jungkook felt the same way. They both had many reasons to hate him but there was one reason they did not share. Jungkook had joined the gang willingly. Jin had not. “How did you end up here?”

Jin stayed silent for a while before responding. “It’s complicated.” He stated firmly, clearly not wanting to speak of it any longer.

Jungkook wanted to but didn’t push further. He had an eerie feeling that Jin’s story was worse than his own.

Jin took advantage of the anesthetic effects and placed more pressure on Jungkook’s wound while cleaning it. It was painless and he could begin to see the area where the cut was its deepest.

Jin’s eyes were sharp and focused as he cleaned. He moved purposefully and kept everything clean as he worked. He moved quickly and efficiently all while never taking his eyes off the wound.

“You’re so good at this.” Jungkook commented.

“Good at what?” Jin didn’t look away from his work.

“This whole doctor thing.”

Jin hummed quietly. It wasn’t an affirmation or denial, simply a sound of acknowledgment. He reached for the gauze that covered the needle Jin had shown him earlier.

Jungkook did his best to distract himself again. “Why did you decide to become a doctor?”

“I didn’t.”

Jin clearly saw the look of confusion on Jungkook’s face. He laughed quietly, “My parents forced me to.”

“You don’t enjoy it?” Jungkook felt the confusion on his face.

Jin smiled. “I absolutely hate it, but I must go on.”

“Then I’m guessing Taemoo forces you to do this as well?”

His smile dropped slowly as he threaded the needle. “Yes but even if he hadn’t, part of me feels like I can’t throw away the education my parents gave me… even if they don’t talk to me anymore.” He spoke so quietly that Jungkook almost didn’t hear him.

Jungkook wondered what he meant but didn’t press further. “What would you have done if you could have chosen for yourself?”

Jin hummed before responding. “It might sound childish, but I would have loved to work with games,” He met Jungkook’s eyes and smiled. “I always loved them but my parents always made me study so I rarely got to play them. I would have done something with games so I could play as much as I wanted.”

I want you to be free.

“Are you ready?” Jin’s voice snapped Jungkook out of his thoughts.

“Not really, but go ahead.” Jungkook closed his eyes and gripped the cross which still hung around his chest.

“Here I go.”

Jungkook refused to look at his wound again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go through with it if he watched. He kept his gaze focused on Jin instead as he waited for the pain that never came. 

“It doesn’t hurt!” He exclaimed, surprised.

He heard Jin let out a quiet chuckle. “Stay still please.”

“Sorry.” Jungkook laughed, feeling calmer now that he couldn’t see, feel, or hear the needle.

The room was quieter than it had been ever since they entered. The only sound other than their breathing was the faint thuds of the bass in the night club many floors above them. Jungkook scanned the room and stared off into space for a few minutes before redirecting his attention to Jin. The man worked quietly and diligently while the necklace around his neck swayed gently and glinted brightly under the dim light of the infirmary. Jungkook focused his eyes on the bright and golden cross Jin always wore around his neck and wondered what it meant to him. He was about to ask him when the man broke the silence.

“Why did you go in there?”

Jungkook felt his neck go warm. “I saw you on RM’s screen. I couldn’t walk away knowing what was happening to you in that room.”

Jin sighed. “I forget he can see that. I’m sure worse things were happening in other rooms. Why didn’t you go into one of those?”

Jungkook felt his throat betraying him by closing up his throat. “I feel protective over you.”

Jin froze and watched Jungkook closely, his eyes full of caution.

Jungkook found himself rambling. “I’ve grown attached to you. I don’t know you very well but Taehyung says a lot of nice things about you. It’s so comforting to me when Taemoo brings you along on those stupid dinners although I know you hate being there just as much as I do. It’s nice to know that there is someone there who is human. It makes me angry when he mistreats you. I just want to protect you from the same evil that has infected my own life.”

“Make sure your concern for me doesn’t escalate into something more dangerous. You’ve endangered both of us enough with the stunt you pulled tonight.” His expression became more serious. “Don’t do something impulsive like that again. If Taemoo doesn’t kill you this time, he will next time.”

Not if I kill him first.

Jungkook wanted Taemoo’s death to be slow and painful but he would have to settle for a quick one if anyone’s life was at risk.

“RM told you not to go in there, right?” Jin’s breathing was slow and even as he worked quickly. His competence was clear in the quick and precise manner which he worked with both hands. He snipped some ties and put the needles away.

“Yes.” Jungkook mentally sighed.

“Listen to him next time please. Always listen to him. He knows what he is talking about. We’re all done.” Jin gave him instructions on aftercare but Jungkook didn’t hear a word. Jin was looking up at him from where he was squatting on the ground, picking up some gauze that had fallen on the floor. The infirmary lamp was making his eyes sparkle brighter than they usually did.

“Thanks hyung.” Jungkook let the affectionate term slip out but Jin acted as if he hadn’t heard him.

Jungkook began to put his soiled sleeve back on when Jin walked away. He returned with a blue sweater that he knew was Jin’s. “Wear this.”

“Won’t you get in trouble if Taemoo sees me with this?” Jungkook asked.

Jin rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so paranoid. He doesn’t keep inventory of everything I own.”

“He doesn’t?” Jungkook asked, genuinely surprised as he pulled the soft sweater over his head. It was the same shade of blue he had used to color the sky as a kid. It was a sweater that made him feel like he was at home. He didn’t want Taemoo near anything as precious as the sweater. 

As precious as Jin.

Jin shrugged. “Here.” He handed him a bottle of pills. “Take one three times a day every day for seven days. Make sure you take them with meals. If you don’t take care of your wound you could get an infection. No fighting until I take out your stitches.”

An alarm went off in Jungkook’s mind. “Taemoo would never let me-”

Jin put a palm up. “If you don’t let it heal properly you’ll get an infection that could cost you your entire arm. I’ll explain things to him.” His tone was not to be argued with but Jungkook couldn’t leave things as they were.

“Explain? To Taemoo?” He asked, alarmed. “You can’t. I’ll talk to him I’ll-”

“If he wants to talk to you he will. If he doesn’t he won’t. This is an issue that is now out of your hands. I will handle him.” Jin insisted.

Jungkook began to worry. “Did I get you into more trouble than you would have been in if I had just let you get strangled?”

“You’re worrying about the wrong things.” Jin said coldly.

“What should I be worrying about?” Jungkook was starting to get angry.

“Staying alive.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were being serious when you said you were going to kill Taemoo someday.”

Jungkook waited for him to continue.

“Your plans to murder Taemoo will get you killed if you expose them at the wrong time and to the wrong people. Keep your murderous wishes to yourself if you want everyone you love to live. Don’t try to resist. Don’t do anything stupid. Taemoo’s time will come when it comes. Let himself be the one to bring his own downfall.” He looked down at his phone when it rang. “I have to go. Yeonjun will give you some supplies and teach you how to take care of your wound.” He looked back up at Jungkook with eyes that made him feel small. “Don’t forget what I told you… Sit back and let God’s will be done.” He walked away and closed the door behind him.

========

“Dr. Kim, wait. Let me call someone to help you.” Mr. Baek unbuckled his seat belt and began exiting the vehicle when Seokjin stopped him.

“No.” He said breathlessly. “I can make my way there on my own.”

Mr. Baek’s aged face was rightfully hesitant. Seokjin looked terrible. His hair was a matted mess with a few sections missing. His neck was bruised purple with scattered petechiae throughout. There were a few superficial lacerations on his skin as well as some rug burns on his face. His lips were swollen with bite marks and there was blood on his cream colored pants.

Seokjin reached over to grab the door handle, but Taeju was already there. Taeju was still in his usual work attire although he was missing his tie and dark blazer. He adjusted his glasses before he unbuttoned his blue button up at the wrists and rolled his sleeves up before opening the door.

“Thank you for bringing him back Mr. Baek.” Taeju was unsurprised by what he saw. He simply carried Seokjin easily into his large arms and began walking inside with him. Mr. Baek watched, relieved as the tall and broad Taeju carried Seokjin inside safely.

“Put me down.” Seokjin said with no true rebellion in his tone before falling asleep.

“I will.” Taeju said flatly as he walked down the dark halls of the gothic Kim mansion. The buttons on his chest were prepared to burst if a single gram of force was added onto them. His muscles flexed and unflexed as he walked down the hall with the deceptively heavy Seokjin in his arms. Taeju never once showed any spec of a struggle as he carried the tall man, likely because he was much taller and broader than Seokjin or anyone else in the Solar Lair, including RM.

Taeju always looked perfectly put together and pristine. His hair was always gelled back neatly and his clothes were ironed to perfection. It was only when Seokjin grumbled that he looked down and a short strand of his perfectly styled hair fell onto his forehead, somehow making him look more handsome than before.

Taemoo caught sight of them on the way to his bedroom. “Ah, he met with Mrs. Loh tonight didn’t he?” He walked towards them with his hands behind his back.

Seongsu stopped where he stood in the hall and shook his head at the state Seokjin had arrived in. He, like Taemoo, had been about to go to bed as he also wore a dark robe.

“He did.” Taeju confirmed.

Taemoo suppressed a smirk. “Bill her for the damages will you? Mr. Kwon will be upset when he receives the Kisaeng like this tomorrow.”

Seongsu quickly interceded. “Sir you cannot expect him to please your clients in this condition. Dr. Kim must heal before he is sold again. We must use the money for the damages to compensate for the clients Dr. Kim will have to miss this week.” He advised before frowning at Taeju. “Why did you sell him to Mrs. Loh when you know what she is like?”

“Master Kim ordered it.” Taeju explained flatly.

Seongsu looked over at Taemoo who had a proud expression on his face. “Mr. Kwon is not too picky. Send him the Kisaeng tomorrow will you Taeju?”

“Are you punishing him for what happened with JK and the politician from Goyang?” Seongsu questioned.

Taemoo raised his voice, his face switching from a pleased man to a furious monster. “The Kisaeng must learn not to give others a reason to care for him. How can he learn if there are no consequences?”

Seongsu shook his head. “Dr. Kim is well aware of the do’s and don’ts of this place. He will continue doing as he pleases regardless of the consequences. The only one you are punishing here is yourself. You’ve set your profits back significantly with this display of power.”

Taeju microscopically raised a bow. “I think it is best if we wait for his recovery. He won’t be able to perform in this state. Besides, Mr. Kwon is almost as aggressive as Mrs. Loh. He will only hurt him further and it will hurt your profits more than they have been hurt tonight. He’s not great at paying up either. You’ll be three weeks behind at this rate. Do you still want me to send him to Mr. Kwon tomorrow?” 

Taemoo tugged at the string of his red robe harshly and flung it to the side. “Put the Kisaeng down. Here. Now.”

Taeju hesitated but he did as instructed and squatted down to place Seokjin on the ground. Seokjin did not wake or stir.

“Sir don’t-” Seongsu began but it was too late.

Taemoo had straddled Seokjin before making a fist and pounding it into his head.

Seokjin woke at the impact and groaned. “I fucking despise you.” He spit in Taemoo’s face.

Taemoo strangled Seokjin, adding to the many other times he had been abused that day as Mrs. Loh had bound, gagged, whipped, strangled, and forced things inside Seokjin all night.

“Sir let go, you’re going to kill him.” Seongsu stepped forward.

“Maybe I want to.” Taemoo said through his teeth.

Seokjin lay there, lifelessly, as he experienced his dose of regular torture. He did not fight back or resist. He simply lay there until he fell unconscious again.

Taemoo slapped him ten times before standing up and straightening out his robe. He raised his voice. “Make Mrs. Loh pay ten times more than what you charged her Taeju. His suffering has to be as profitable as we can make it.” He walked to his room without another word.

“I’ll call Dr. Hong.” Seongsu shook his head at Taeju before walking to his own room.

Taeju scooped Seokjin back into his arms and walked quickly to the room where the latter was forced to stay. He lay him down on the plum colored sheets before closing the door.

Taeju squatted next to the bed. “Dr. Kim?” He shook Seokjin’s shoulder lightly.

Seokjin did not wake.

“Dr. Kim?” He tried again.

Seokjin groaned in response.

Taeju’s brows raised a centimeter in surprise but his voice was calm and professional. “We’ve called Dr. Hong. What can I do for you while we wait for him to arrive?”

Song: Die4you (melody only) by 808toofly

Seokjin whimpered quietly, eyes scrunched in pain. “Please never sell me to Mrs. Loh again. Please.”

Taeju looked at the blood on Seokjin’s clothes before moving his guilty gaze to the ground. “I will do everything I can to make sure this never happens again, but I cannot promise anything.”

Seokjin reached his hands up to his neck and swallowed hard. He finally opened his eyes and reached over to the bedside table where he kept his water. He groaned midway and stopped. Taeju reached for the water and put it up to Seokjin’s lips who drank eagerly but with his face scrunched in pain. Seokjin breathed loudly once he crashed back onto the bed. “Thank you.” He breathed out.

Taeju remained in the same position, waiting for instruction from Seokjin.

Seokjin closed his eyes. “You can leave now.” He opened a single eye and looked over at Taeju. “Or is Taemoo forcing me to have a sitter again?”

“No. I am only here to…” Taeju paused and adjusted his glasses as confusion swept over his face. “I will return once Dr. Hong has examined you.”

Taeju bowed before leaving the room.

Taeju sat in the hall outside of Seokjin’s room from the moment he left the man alone to the moment Dr. Hong and his assistant left. Seokjin had a minor concussion as well as scattered bruising and lacerations. The young doctor only tended to his major wounds and gave him pain medication before recommending the man rest in the mansion for a few days. 

Taeju knocked on Seokjin’s door the second Dr. Hong had left.

Seokjin rested peacefully in the room in new and clean clothes. Some of his wounds were bandaged while others were left open to air with ointment on them. His breaths were slow and even as he slept although his brow was furrowed in worry.

Taeju looked over Seokjin’s sleeping figure briefly before running a hand over his face, breathing out a sigh, and leaving the room.

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF JEON JUNGKOOK

The sound of the sand spilling onto the ground brought Jungkook back to the reality of the warehouse. His fists were aching and his forearms were shaking from the force of the blows he threw on the heavy bag. He undid the wraps on his hands before sitting on the floor with his bare back to one of the concrete posts of the warehouse.

Jungkook expected to be disciplined by Taemoo for what happened with Jin and the clients but all he got was word from Jin that everything had been sorted out. Talking to Jin was usually a nerve inducing experience for him, but their encounter in the infirmary earlier in the day left him with nothing but rage. 

Jin was busy changing the dressing on his wound while Jungkook was examining the purple bruises growing on Jin’s neck and the scrapes on his face and lips. Wounds he tried and failed to conceal with makeup.

The bruises extended down to his chest which he unsuccessfully hid with a mulberry satin button up. The buttons were done to the very top but the shirt was loose on him which allowed Jungkook to see further down his shirt than was gentlemanly. He focused his eyes on the golden cross Seokjin always wore on his chest and briefly wondered if his cross was as significant to him as Jungkook’s was.

“Taemoo did this?” Jungkook furrowed his brow while examining Jin’s face.

Jin looked up at him, eyes pleading. “You don’t understand what kind of people you’re dealing with.” His tone was full of concern as he shook his head and looked back down. “You’re going to end up getting yourself killed if you pull something like that again. Let it slide next time. Minghao will deal with it if it gets out of hand.”

“So he did.” Jungkook felt the rage growing in his chest. “I’ll kill him.”

“Jungkook.” Jin said firmly.

“You expect me to stand back after seeing Taemoo hurt you? How fucking dare he hit you after I defended you when he wouldn’t. That fucker doesn’t give a shit about you. I’ll return what he did to you ten times over.” He slammed the fist of his good arm down on the table and stood up.

“Jungkook sit down! We are nothing for you to think you have some kind of obligation to defend me.” Jin said sternly.

Jin’s harsh words made Jungkook snap out of his fit of rage and sit back down. “Are we not friends,” he looked down at Jin’s delicate hands, “because I thought we were. I would have defended any of my friends the way I defended you.”

His eyes narrowed. “There is a very thick blindfold tied very tightly over your eyes. I am not like your other friends. You forget what I am. You forget where I stand with Taemoo. You forget what we are a part of.” He said firmly. “What he did to me this time is nothing compared to what he has done to me before. I appreciate the concern, I do, but it won’t get us anywhere but two meters underground.” He shook his head lightly.

Jungkook was taken aback by Jin’s bluntness. He said the words like they were pure facts. As if he had accepted the life Taemoo had forced onto him.

“Do you want to keep living like this? Aren’t you tired of having people put a price tag on you?”

“Are you asking if I'd rather be dead? Because that’s my only other option.” Jin raised an eyebrow. “In that case, no. I’m not ready to die just yet. There’s still so much I need to do here. Once I’m done, I might be okay with death. It all depends on how much I can do with the time I have left.”

“You don’t have to die. You could run away.”

He sighed. “I’d get caught and killed eventually.”

“Not if Taemoo is in jail… or dead.” Jungkook was squeezing his fist so hard it was tugging on his incision.

Jin must have heard the determination in his voice because his head snapped up in alarm. “Whatever you are planning, stop it, it’s a death sentence for you and for everyone else.” He said sharply.

“The police have a mole in here. They can take Taemoo down and end this all. We can-”

“Don’t talk about something so dangerous.” Jin said sternly. “You’re an innocent man with a good heart. You are letting your feelings cloud your judgment. I wish you would understand that it's not as simple as running away, or letting the police stay and take Taemoo down. Even if someone would come in here and tear this place down, people would die. You forget it’s Mr. Bang who’s in charge and not Taemoo.”

“Please, Bang has never set a foot in this fucking place. He’s the laziest and most clueless motherfucker to walk the planet. Besides, does wanting to set everyone free make me innocent? Or emotional? I know who’s in charge. I know who has to die. I am saying there's a way out but no one will take it. Is it just because you’re all afraid to hope for freedom and not get it?” The exasperation was clear in his voice.

Jin stayed quiet for a minute. He looked down at Jungkook’s arm in a way that made it seem like he was arguing with it. “Freedom is so unattainable it’s impossible to imagine. You’re asking me to believe in the impossible and treat it as if it’s within reach. You’re asking for the impossible.” He continued working quietly, but there was something in his tone that made Jungkook feel that he wasn’t going to get through to him. 

“You say you haven’t made peace with dying yet because you don’t know what comes after correct? Won’t you have to believe in the impossible to find that peace?” 

“I never said that.” Jin said as he cleaned the last stitch on Jungkook’s skin.

“Believe in the impossible now. Believe that there is a way you can be free.” Jungkook’s tone was as desperate as he felt. He couldn’t understand why no one listened to a word he said. Everything he suggested was wrong. Everything he wanted was not worthy of consideration. He always felt thrown aside and dismissed, so much so that he wondered if the people he loved truly loved him back. He was so sick of feeling this way that he felt himself beginning to become angry with Jin.

The first hint of anger began to seep into Jin’s composure. “How can you bring Taemoo to justice when you are only human? What power do you have to right all he has wronged?” He shook his head in disapproval. “You're going to be left hollow once you get what you want. You’re going to get us all killed. Please just let God do what He needs to do. Stop using your free will to repay evil with evil.” He swabbed the last of the antiseptic on the wound before snapping his gloves off and stepping away to find some gauze. “You haven’t been taking care of your wound. If it scars or gets infected it’ll be your fault, not mine. Have you been taking your antibiotics?”

He watched Jin’s slim figure from afar, wondering how he could still feel so affectionate towards him even after he dismissed all that Jungkook believed in. How could Jin ask him to sit back and let things run their course? How could he ask that of him when Jungkook knew there was something they could do to be free?

Jin’s eyes watched him with a hint of anger from across the room as he waited for him to respond, but Jungkook didn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t escalate the situation further. His anger was so severe he left without a word. He was so afraid of what he would say to Jin that he didn’t even bother to put his shirt back on.

He wiped his calloused sandy palms over his face before sighing in regret. The conversation could have gone a lot smoother. There was no need for him to be angry. No need for him to slam the door on the way out.

He wanted to slam his fists into the sandbag again but it was nothing but a pile of sand on the floor now. He was going to get up to destroy another bag but stopped once he heard footsteps approaching. He didn’t bother to see who it was. He only leaned his head back on the post he was learning on and waited for the person to speak.

His vision was suddenly obscured by a familiar feeling piece of cloth.

He complained dully before removing, what he now recognized as his shirt, from his face.

RM was standing in front of him with a concerned smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He removed his hands from his black trouser pockets and pulled his black sleeves up to his elbows.

“Hyung.” Jungkook said, surprised as he looked up at the strong man he adored.

Their last encounter had been nothing but unfriendly. He had told his friend to fuck off, even when he was only looking out for them.

“I made a mistake.” Jungkook apologized. “I should have never been rude to you. I should have never disobeyed you.” He looked at his wound as he replayed the events of the evening. He then remembered the purple shadows on Jin’s neck. “You were right. I only got Jin hurt instead.”

RM nodded and sat down next to Jungkook. “You’re a fool. Your concern is going to get you and everyone you love killed.”

Jungkook knew he said it out of concern, but his words still angered him. He put his hands underneath himself and pushed himself up only to receive a stinging pain in his left forearm. “So I’ve heard.” He complained.

“Jin said he didn’t get to finish so I came to...” RM’s voice faded out at the end as he looked at the wound.

There was sand in the crevices which rubbed roughly along the incision every time the two ends of Jungkook’s torn skin rubbed together.

“You need that cleaned.” His eyes were lost as they looked at the wound.

He shook his head, “I can do it. Yeonjun taught me how to do it myself.”

“I can do it for you. Will this help?” RM held up a bag with betadine swabs, saline, gauze, hand sanitizer, gloves, and tape.

Jungkook sighed in relief. “Thank you.” Jin was right, he hadn’t been taking care of his wound. He had misplaced the bag of supplies Yeonjun had given him the first time around and he was too embarrassed to ask for another. He knew that if he hadn’t been taking the antibiotics he would have had an infection by now.

“Don’t thank me. Thank Jin.” RM sanitized his hands and put on a clean pair of gloves. “Jin is the most easy going person I have ever met. What did you say to make him so irritated that he was slamming things around in the infirmary before I went in?”

The wound stung more than it did the first time Jin had cleaned it and he suddenly regretted taking out his anger on the sandbag. “I should have just kept my mouth shut.” He hissed through the pain.

“About?’

“I told him about the mole.”

“Shh!” RM immediately scanned their surroundings only to notice there was no one present. His hair looked like it had glowed a brighter yellow in shock. He was angry now. “How could you tell him something so dangerous? You understand how close Taemoo keeps him. What if he tells Taemoo? You and I will die for hiding it!” His tone was urgent.

“He won’t say anything. I trust Jin”

He scoffed, “The amount of faith you have in everything is terrifying. What did you expect him to do with that information?”

“I wanted him to know that it is possible to be free from Taemoo.”

“What if he is the mole?”

“Even better.”

RM sighed. “What did he say in response?”

Jungkook sighed. “That I was going to get us all killed.”

RM’s jaw clenched. “He’s right. You’re impulsive and naive. You even blurted out the word ‘mole’ in a large room that could have had dozens of people in it.”

“Everyone is just afraid of hoping for freedom.” He insisted.

“Or afraid of dying. You’re the one that wanted us to hide the mole from Taemoo so I let it go knowing I was risking my life doing so.” He spoke to himself this time, “I knew I should have told Taemoo right away. We wouldn’t have had to hide it. He would have made it public and had the entire organization out looking for the mole. The mole would have naturally aborted the mission and we would have been off the hook. It could have been that easy.” He groaned in exasperation, “Why did I listen to you?”

“Because you want to be free.”

“Or because I’m willing to die for you.” RM looked at Jungkook’s arm, annoyed, and continued cleaning the wound.

“I would die for you too. I'll be by your side hyung, until the very end.”

RM smiled warmly.

RM made Jungkook feel somewhat validated for once, and warm. That man still had that kind of effect on Jungkook even after his crush on the man had gone away. He was certain that if Taehyung hadn’t snapped him out of it, Jungkook would still be head over heels over RM. Now, with his feelings gone, he could only see him as his hero. The man who would protect him from anything and anyone no matter what.

He mentally thanked his friend as he looked down at the wound he received for fighting for the man who didn’t want to be free.

********

THE DAYS OF KIM TAEHYUNG

February 18, 1993

Taehyung had never been known for his patience and Suga was not helping.

Suga was great at his job, maybe too great. He was taking his time making sure Hoseok knew the business inside out so he could best protect the club’s money. Taehyung was grateful for that part, he was just upset that it meant he could never see Hoseok.

Of course he had lied to Jungkook when they went on their hike. Taehyung was not over Hoseok nor would he ever be. He could have never moved on from the only man he had ever loved. He secretly hoped that just as he lied to Jungkook, Hoseok had lied to him. He wished Hoseok did not want to forget about their past. He wished they could remember their past fondly as they explored what they could build together now.

Hoseok was out there being dragged around by Suga while Taehyung spent most days locked up in his office making sure the money he collected was laundered to perfection. It was tedious and exhausting. He had always hated math but he never had a choice when it came to his father. He was bred to collect, launder, and protect all of the money from the club. Taemoo thought that having his son be in charge of the money would make people less likely to threaten his fortune but it clearly had not turned out the way since Taehyung had been the victim of multiple murder attempts. Taehyung could have run away as a teenager and chosen his own path, but a homeless teenager in the South Korean economy would never have been able to survive.

Taehyung turned off his computer, removed his glasses, and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. He had been sitting at his desk for ten hours straight and his stomach was beginning to protest.

He ran into Jungkook on the way to Suga’s office down the hall. He was walking straight towards him while looking at the ground and smoothing his hair out. He didn’t seem to notice Taehyung coming. Taehyung could have moved, but he decided not to. 

Jungkook yelped when he crashed into Taehyung. “Ah sorry!”

Taehyung laughed. “It’s okay. You look distracted. What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.” He walked around Taehyung.

“Clearly.” Taehyung muttered. “Hey.”

Jungkook turned around. He looked as if he had been caught doing something wrong.

“Stop destroying the sandbags will you? You’re going to eat up the club's budget.” Taehyung approached him and dusted the sand off his hair. He didn’t miss the anger in his friend’s eyes. “Do you want to eat something before the club opens?” Taehyung rested his hand on Jungkook’s cheek.

Jungkook’s expression softened once he finally met Taehyung’s eyes. “Sure.” He leaned into his hand gently.

“Good.” Taehyung squeezed his cheek and made a mess of his hair. “Go and ask RM, Jin, and Jimin. I’ll go grab Suga and Hoseok.”

“You want me to ask them?” Jungkook’s tone went up an octave and his eyes increased in circumference.

Jungkook was awful at pretending. Taehyung knew something was wrong the second he saw him but he was going to let it slide to spare him the discomfort. Jungkook would tell him if he really wanted Taehyung to know.

Taehyung raised his brows. “You don’t want to ask our friends to join us for dinner?”

“You hate me that much?” Jimin appeared from nowhere and laughed. He went up to place a hand around Jungkook’s shoulder.

Jungkook’s mood instantly improved. “What are you talking about? You know I love you.” Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s cheek between his thumb and index finger. Jimin made a noise of complaint and moved away. Jungkook laughed. “I’ll go find RM. You look for Jin.” He placed an arm around Jimin’s shoulder and pushed him in the direction of the infirmary.

The two people Taehyung would always be the most grateful for were Jungkook and Jimin. They had been by his side since they were in the first grade. Always present and unchanging. It was comforting to know that he could always go to them and feel at home. He knew that they, unlike the world, would never change.

Taehyung walked into Suga’s dark office to find him and Hoseok reviewing exit points to all of the clubs on a projector. Suga was going into detail about the quickest and most conspicuous escape routes if they were to ever need to run from police or other threats. They were so focused they didn’t acknowledge Taehyung’s entrance.

He made his presence known by standing in front of the projector lens. “Suga, you’re going to kill him out of boredom and starvation. Have either of you eaten the entire day?”

“No.” They said in unison.

“Let’s go. Food is on me.” He looked only into Hoseok’s eyes as he spoke. Hoseok looked as wonderful as ever. He was wearing a black suit with a black button up underneath with just enough buttons open to reveal his pretty collarbones. It was Taehyung’s favorite ensemble on Hoseok.

Suga looked at his watch. “Sorry Hoseok, I got carried away. You must be hungry.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t notice either.” His smile was so soft and subtle it made Taehyung want to melt into the floor.

Taehyung spoke to Hoseok directly. “Jimin, Jin, RM, and JK will be joining too. Let’s go so you can officially meet them.”

Suga began searching for his car keys while Hoseok stayed glued to his seat.

“Do you not eat, Hoseok-ssi?” Taehyung asked.

“I do.” He didn’t move.

“Good. Then stand up so we can leave. It would be embarrassing to drag you down there and force you to eat with us.”

“As if you could.” Hoseok scoffed and then stiffened. A panicked look swiped across his face before he stood, “What I meant to say was-“ 

Taehyung laughed, “I absolutely could. Especially with Suga’s help here. Will it be necessary?”

Suga chuckled. Suga’s appearance was deceptive. He looked like a small cat who had never been in a fight. His skin was pristine porcelain, not because he didn’t get into fights, but because no one could ever manage to land a blow. His skills with swords and knives were unmatched and his physical combat skills weren’t far behind. His deceptive appearance brought on plenty of challenges from people with large egos. All of them ended up dead or disabled at Suga’s hand. It could be that the skill ran through his blood, but Taehyung knew better than that. He had worked hard to be someone who could protect his family.

It was a tragedy that he didn’t get the chance to protect them in the end.

“No sir.” Hoseok kept a straight face but the tone of his voice was light.

Suga pulled out his phone and stared at it. He could see the conflict in his eyes. Taehyung knew exactly what he wanted, he just didn’t understand why he was hesitating.

“Call him.” Taehyung said.

Suga looked at him in surprise.

“He’s our family.”

Suga drove in silence. Taehyung had overheard the conversation he and Agust had on their way out of the club. His cousin was clearly surprised with the invitation until he realized it was Suga asking. Suga was the only one that ever spoke to Agust aside from Taehyung. He assumed that the others didn’t speak to him because they thought Agust didn’t like any of them. Taehyung had a feeling it was the same reason Agust didn’t speak to them. The only exception was Hoseok. Taehyung hated to think of it, but Hoseok and Agust were somewhat friendly. He regularly found them by themselves, talking or laughing. Taehyung pretended he had never seen anything because he didn’t know anything about their relationship. For all he knew they could be good friends. He wouldn’t jump to any conclusions unless Hoseok or Agust decided to say otherwise.

That didn’t mean that Taehyung wasn’t jealous. 

Whether they were friends… or more than that, Taehyung wanted to be in a place with Hoseok where they could laugh or speak together comfortably without anyone else around. He understood that he once had that kind of relationship with Hoseok, but things were different now. Hoseok was a different man and so was Taehyung. He wanted to see if he could love this Hoseok just as much or even more than the one before. He wanted to see if Hoseok could love who Taehyung was now.

All he needed was an opportunity.

He looked at the back of the man’s head and let himself remember the time where his hand laid there comfortably as their eyes confessed their love in a way their words could have never.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, Suga decided he wanted a smoke break before eating so Taehyung and Hoseok walked in together in silence.

Jin and Jungkook were already there when they arrived. They were seated at a circular table in a private room. They were one seat away from each other, sitting in uncomfortable silence. Jungkook avoided Hoseok’s gaze, as expected. The air in the room was strange. He could almost feel the conflict radiating off both Jungkook and Jin.

Jin looked unfazed and greeted Hoseok politely while Jungkook’s face became angrier than it already was. Taehyung knew something was going on with Jungkook, he just never thought it would have involved Jin. He was suddenly concerned for his friend. Taemoo wouldn’t hesitate to kill if he had reached the same conclusion Taehyung had just reached. Taemoo wouldn’t try to understand anything. He would just kill them both but not before taking Jungkook’s fortune.

Jungkook had made a name for himself in the underground fighting world. He was the most feared and the best paid. He likely had the highest income in the Solar Lair, but Taemoo didn’t need to know. If Taemoo knew, he would find a way to take Jungkook’s money to spend it on luxuries like he did now. On the other hand, Jungkook lived quietly. He hadn’t used his money for anything other than his motorcycle, living expenses, and the stocks he had occasionally purchased. RM had once said that Jungkook was like the hand of midas, everything he touched turned into gold. Every stock Jungkook bought brought him millions if not billions of won in profit. He was likely pocketing more money than Mr. Bang. No one but Taehyung and Jimin knew about that fortune, and he would keep it that way as long as he could or else Taemoo would do everything he could to rip everything out of Jungkook’s hands.

Although Jungkook would kill him before he got close.

Jimin and RM walked in shortly after.

“Oh, hello Hoseok. I’m Jimin, the fight club’s manager. You’ll be collecting with Taehyung and Suga right?” Jimin smiled at Hoseok before sitting between Jin and Jungkook.

“Yes sir. Nice to meet you.” Hoseok bowed.

Jimin bowed slightly in return.

Jin stood up and sent a bow towards Hoseok which he returned. “Nice to meet you, I'm Jin, the fight club’s doctor.”

Jungkook forced himself to meet Hoseok’s gaze when Jimin kicked his chair. “I’m Jeon Jungkook, a fighter. Nice to meet you.”

They exchanged bows although Jungkook was being forced to bow by Jimin.

Suga walked in and sat in the other empty seat next to Jin.

Jimin was immediately more tense when Suga walked in but he still managed to play it off. “Jin-hyung sit down, stop making him uncomfortable.” Jimin tugged Jin into his chair. He turned to Hoseok. “Hurry and sit down, we're all starving. I see you have already ordered Jin, thank you.” He picked up his chopsticks and lined them up so he could reach for a piece of jeon to put on Hoseok’s plate.

Hoseok gave Jimin a small bow in thanks.

RM put out his hand. “Nice to meet you Hoseok, I’m RM. I do a little bit of everything but I mostly work on gathering intel. If there’s anything you need just ask.” He smiled a warm dimpled smile.

Hoseok sat frozen for a second before looking up at him and taking his hand. “I’m sure we’ll get along well.”

RM put his free hand over Hoseok’s to encapsulate his thin hand into both of his own. He shook Hoseok’s hand warmly before making his smile slightly larger and making his way over to sit down. RM was about to take the empty seat next to Hoseok but Taehyung pinched him discreetly and pushed him to sit next to Jungkook. 

Hoseok didn’t seem to notice, but Jin did. Jin smiled as he looked away and picked up his chopsticks. He closed his eyes for a second and bowed his head quietly, mumbling a few words before opening his eyes and folding a napkin over his lap.

Taehyung caught a glimpse of Hoseok’s back struggling against his jacket as he tried to scoot forward in his chair. His back was a lot more muscular than Taehyung expected. Hoseok used to be so thin and soft. Now he was leaner and more toned than Taehyung despite having trained to fight most of his life. It sent a warm feeling to his lower abdomen that he successfully suppressed.

Someone threw the door open a little more aggressively than a normal person would have. Everyone was prepared to aim their weapons at the threat until they saw it was Agust. There was a large sigh of relief from the table as they put their weapons away but Agust noticed their hesitation.

“Am I late?” Agust looked at Suga, then at Hoseok. His eyes were wide and bright and his hair was unusually out of place.

Hoseok’s gaze softened as he bowed. “No hyung, we just sat down. Have a seat.” He pulled out the chair next to him.

Hyung.

Agust bowed back before realizing everyone was watching him. His face turned back into his usual scowl before he examined the table.

“Glad you could make it.” RM smiled. “Sit hyung.” He motioned to the empty chair between Hoseok and Suga. 

Agust walked without a word and mumbled a quiet thank you to RM before sitting down.

“You’re not late, we haven’t even started eating yet.” Jin kicked RM under the table.

RM’s eyes went wide as he chewed the large piece of bulgogi he had put in his mouth two seconds prior. “Yeah, we haven’t started yet.” RM said through the mouthful and swallowed. “Eat lots Agust.” He smiled.

“Sure, whatever.” Agust grumbled but there was a smile hiding in his tone.

The scene snapped everyone out of their trance before they laughed and started piling food onto their plates.

Taehyung didn’t miss the sneaky way in which Suga placed a slice of bulgogi on his brother’s plate. Agust only huffed and ate it. It was always like this with them. They communicated with huffs, gruffs, and complaints. A lot had happened between them and there were a lot of labels placed on Agust, but it was clear that the two loved each other even if they acted so distant. He didn’t understand where the idea of them being enemies ever came from. It was clear that they loved each other more than life itself.

They all chatted about work and the matchups for tonight. Hoseok didn’t speak, he just absorbed. His eyes darted to every direction and read everyone’s body language while speaking. Agust was tense most of the time but he ate well. The others tried to pull Hoseok and Agust into the conversation but it was difficult getting more than a few words out of them.

Taehyung then realized he had picked a bad seat. He couldn’t see much of Hoseok without making it obvious. What he could see was that he was eating everything everyone was putting on his plate. Taehyung had been too nervous to pick anything up and place it on his place. He didn’t know what Hoseok liked, so he didn’t want to pressure him into eating something he didn’t want to. Taehyung waited to see what he reached for the most. After a few minutes of assessing, he then picked up a well seasoned slice of radish kimchi and placed it on top of Hoseok’s rice.

Hoseok looked down to his place and back to Taehyung. “Thank you.” There was the lightest of smiles on his lips, so light that he almost thought he had imagined it. He picked up the piece, placed it in his mouth, and went back to watching the others. 

As Hoseok chewed, Taehyung watched the little mole on his upper lip. His lips were still shaped like a pretty heart despite the scars running through them. Taehyung was suddenly grateful he sat on Hoseok’s left as he couldn’t see the painful scar that sliced half of his face open.

Hoseok looked back at Taehyung. He must have been staring too long. The back of Taehyung’s neck turned warm before he looked back down at his own plate.

Jin then placed a piece of meat on Hoseok’s plate which he accepted with more gratitude than Taehyung’s radish. 

Meat. He should have put meat on his plate. 

Taehyung mentally punched himself in the face.

Jin had a smug expression on his face while Taehyung stared him down.

“So you were an assassin? How long were you an assassin for?” Jimin asked Hoseok.

Everyone stopped talking to hear what Hoseok had to say. Hoseok’s calm demeanor vanished and was replaced with one of caution. Taehyung couldn’t tell which.

“Ten years.” His face was expressionless but it was clear he did not want to speak about it.

“Wow, no wonder you have crazy good reflexes.” Jimin exclaimed excitedly. “Why were you discharged?”

The air around Hoseok went cold. “Personal reasons.” He considered picking up another piece of food from his bowl before giving up and putting his chopsticks down.

Jin grabbed Jimin’s spoon and shoved it into Jimin’s still full plate of rice. He picked up a generous spoonful of rice and shoved it into Jimin’s mouth before he could ask the question that was about to escape his mouth. Jimin looked annoyed before he looked back at Hoseok and realized that Jin had saved both him and Hoseok. He nodded and began chewing his food.

There were so many emotions crossing through Hoseok’s eyes that Taehyung let himself stare for a moment to figure out what was going on. Hoseok’s expression was quietly distressed. There was grief somewhere in his eyes but Hoseok tried to bury it. Taehyung began to reach forward to place a hand on Hoseok’s arm but he stopped once he saw Agust doing the same.

They both retracted their arms at the same time. Taehyung had clearly thought the same thing as his cousin. Agust caught Taehyung watching him, but he only looked away as if nothing had happened.

“So Jimin, when are you and Suga getting married? Or divorced? Which is it?” Jin teased.

Jimin coughed out rice mush all over the table while Suga’s ears turned bright pink.

Jin’s mischievous laugh was reminiscent of windshield wipers.

“Aish! I’m not hungry anymore.” Suga aggressively pushed his rice sprayed plate away with a disgusted look on his face.

“That’s fucking disgusting. Keep it in your mouth will you brother in law?” Agust laughed quietly, his right eye wrinkling oddly, while Suga shot him a glare.

Jin laughed louder.

“There’s Jimin’s spit rice all over the meat now!” Jungkook looked visibly upset as he picked rice bits off the meat and ate a slice in the process. His expression dropped lower when he realized none of the dishes were left uncontaminated. “Aish the rice is everywhere! Jimin! I haven’t even tried the steamed egg yet!” He sat back in his seat, defeated.

“How did you manage to get it on everything?” Hoseok asked quietly with wide eyes as he scanned the table. Hoseok sat straight in front of Jimin yet he was the one least covered in rice. 

Jimin had slightly turned to the side to minimize the damage which meant Taehyung got hit directly instead.

“Aish! You’ve contaminated me and the food!” Taehyung wasn’t a man who was disgusted by many things, but he drew the line at chewed or vomited food. He failed to suppress a gag as he cleaned rice mush off his face. He made a mental note to never sit in front of Jimin again.

“I hope this is what you wanted, Jin.” RM said quietly as he picked rice bits off his arm with a bitter smile.

Jimin’s face was bright red as he coughed into a napkin and let out a hoarse, “Sorry guys.”

It was then that Taehyung realized Hoseok had watched him gag and was now laughing. The sound was so bright and joyous. It was like sunshine breaking through the darkest of clouds. He almost wanted to cry with the overwhelming feeling that was growing in his chest as he appreciated every happy sound coming from the man he adored.

Hoseok laughed with his entire body. Bending at the waist and half throwing himself on the floor. 

This was the Hoseok that he remembered.

Hoseok’s and Jin’s laughter was so contagious the entire room burst into a fit of laughter. Even Suga, who had looked the most disgusted, was laughing now. Jimin was laughing and coughing at the same time, still trying to recover from his aspiration episode.

Taehyung then realized he was mistaken. There was one person who did not look happy at all. Jungkook sat there, genuinely angry as he picked at his food. He gave Jin a cold glance that the man didn’t notice and looked back down at his food. 

Taehyung caught his gaze and mouthed, What’s wrong?

Jungkook’s round eyes watch Taehyung for a long moment before shaking his head. He sighed and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before leaving but no one seemed to notice besides Taehyung. He didn’t miss the way Jin tensed when Jungkook walked past him. The man never ceased to laugh but his expression had changed. Something was wrong between them. Taehyung could feel it.

The rest of the evening was filled with Jimin picking pieces of rice out of all the dishes, RM telling embarrassing stories about Suga’s sleeping habits, and Agust stealing glances at Hoseok.

A waiter came in with their tab and arguments broke out about who was going to pay.

“I invited everyone I should pay!” Taehyung insisted.

“You guys never let me pay! I’m an adult with adult money. Let me do it!” Jungkook complained.

“Yah! I’m the eldest here. What will people say if I let my junior’s pay for me! They’ll accuse me of insubordination! Save me my dignity and let me pay!” Jin whined.

Everyone else was so loud that no one heard Agust speak. “Actually I’m the eldest.” 

“You paid last time, let me get it hyung.” Suga offered, amused at watching Jin’s tantrum.

“This is my first meal with you all, let me pay.” Hoseok’s delicate statement was ignored.

“I’m everyone’s boss, I should pay.” Jimin declared.

“Not mine.” Jin crossed his arms.

“Isn’t Suga the boss?” Jungkook questioned.

“Where is my wallet?” RM said so quietly it got lost in all of the chaos. He patted his pockets frantically and climbed under the table. No one noticed when the entire table shook with the impact of RM’s head. “Ow! Found it!”

The waiter stepped back, clearly concerned about his own safety, but didn’t leave the room. He said something but his voice couldn’t be heard over all of the yelling. He tried again with no avail. 

RM’s arm popped out from under the table with his wallet in hand, punching Jimin in the jaw with the motion. 

“Yah!” Jimin complained as he rubbed his face and punched RM in the arm.

“Oh sorry!” RM crawled out and spotted the timid waiter before sitting back down and taking in the scene in front of him. “Hey!” RM raised his deep voice, the one he used when he demanded obedience but it was difficult to take him seriously when there was a growing red bump on his forehead. He cleared his throat once everyone settled down. “The gentleman is trying to say something.” He turned to the waiter, “Yes?”

He twisted the small apron around his waist in his hands nervously, “The tab has already been paid.”

Taehyung could see the question marks pop up in everyone’s faces.

“By who?” Almost all of them asked in unison.

“The gentleman over there.” He nodded towards Agust.

Agust looked bored while he supported his head on the table with one hand on his cheek. “Well I’m done here.” He pushed himself up with two hands. “Thank you for inviting me.” He struggled to get the words out as he faced his back to everyone and walked out.

“Thank you for the meal.” Hoseok bowed lightly with his head.

The rest of them did the same but Agust continued walking out without looking back. He only waved a dismissive hand before turning the corner towards the front door.

He could see the guilt on most of their faces then. They had never treated Agust badly, but they had never been particularly good to him either. Almost everyone in the club was rude to Agust and reminded him of a past he wanted to forget and another that didn’t exist. The men sitting at the table weren’t rude, they only kept their distance, except for Suga, Hoseok, and Taehyung. They were family after all but Agust wasn’t normally very receptive to any kind of friendly behavior.

Hoseok turned his body towards Taehyung but kept his eyes on the door. “Thank you for inviting me.” He bowed before picking up his coat and walked out after Agust.

Taehyung forced himself to stay in his seat and let Hoseok do as he wished although he wanted to run out and ask why he was following after Agust.

The rest of them left one by one until only Jin and Taehyung were left.

“What’s going on between you and Jungkook?” Taehyung asked.

Jin shrugged. “Nothing, the kid is letting his sense of justice just put everyone’s lives in danger.”

That was not the answer Taehyung expected to hear. “What are you talking about?”

“I won’t tell you because I don’t want you to be in danger.” Jin picked up his cup of water and chugged it.

“Will he tell me if I ask him?”

“You won’t have to ask.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes. “Is that all that’s going on there?”

“On my end? Yes.” Jin said nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t tried to take his own life hundreds of times. “Although I have an update for you.” Taehyung became more attentive as Jin continued speaking. “Taemoo is more tight-lipped than before. His vaults are also being guarded more safely and I heard him say your mother’s name. I don’t have a good feeling about whatever he is planning.”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched. Taemoo couldn’t let his mother out of his grasp even now that she had been gone for more than a decade. 

Taemoo had once had a leash around his mother’s neck just as tight as the one he now had on Jin’s. He controlled her every move and her way of life. He even made her go to the store in the middle of a blizzard so he could have homemade doenjang when he got home from work. Taehyung remembered how angry his mother was as they trudged through the snow together. He fought back the tears that were brought on by his rage.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any concrete information on your mother.”  Jin apologized.

“I told you to stop apologizing. I am the one who brought you into this mess. It’s my fault you’re in this mess. You’ve lost everything because of me. Never apologize to me for anything ever again.” Taehyung was the one who was truly sorry. He felt so guilty for having brought his friend near his father. Maybe if Taehyung had never brought Jin to the club that day, he could have been happy somewhere far far away from Hybe.

“You didn’t choose this life for me.” Jin had repeated the same line thousands of times but it never eased any of Taehyung's guilt.

“It’s not fair.” Taehyung was angry at himself now.

“Not everything can be fair.” Jin stood up and picked up his coat. “There has to be a balance, just like everything.”

“But why you?” Taehyung asked as they walked out into the cold evening. It was getting dark, a sign that the club would be open soon.

“Because Taemoo used his free will to hurt me.” He pat Taehyung on the shoulder and looked over it.  “I think someone is waiting for you.”

“Huh?” Taehyung’s head turned to where Jin pointed.

Hoseok was standing a few feet away, clearly waiting to speak to either Taehyung or Jin.

Taehyung turned his face back to Jin. He felt the heat from his cheeks leave his face and mix with the air.

“You like him don’t you?” The smirk on his face was audible.

Taehyung could only nod.

“You two look good together. Now hurry up and go.” Jin waved and walked towards the bus stop, likely to take a smoke break.

“Goodnight hyung.” Taehyung looked over at his friend longingly, wishing there was something he could do to restore the joy that was in his friend’s life when they met all those years ago.

Hoseok was standing right in front of him when he turned back to walk to Suga’s car. Taehyung let out a small yelp which made Hoseok jump slightly. “Oh sorry, I- I just wanted to say thank you for inviting me today. I will see you tomorrow.” Hoseok bowed before walking towards the bus stop where Jin was standing.

“Wait.” Taehyung reached out for Hoseok before he could even think about it. “Are you not coming back with us?” Taehyung hated how disappointed his voice sounded. He tightened his grip on Hoseok’s wrist lightly, the warm skin molding easily under Taehyung’s hand.

His tone must have surprised Hoseok. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were wide. He looked down at Taehyung’s hand on his wrist and gently pulled it away. “Suga said I was dismissed for today so I’m going home.”

“Oh.” He tried his best to hide his disappointment.

“Is there something you needed from me?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Taehyung’s nerves slowly bubbled to the surface as those pretty eyes watched him while he spoke.

Hoseok waited.

“You said that we should forget about the past, that we’re both different people now.”

The corners of Hoseok’s mouth downturned, clearly bothered by the statement. “Yes?”

Taehyung’s voice was timid. “Why do we have to forget? Why can’t we get to know each other as we are now?”

Hoseok sighed and looked to the side, his injured check warping around his clenched jaw, and looked back at Taehyung with fervor. “I know that if I got to know you as you are now, we would pick up where we left off.”

Taehyung wanted to let himself feel the hope that was bubbling to the surface of his chest, but he crushed it when he sensed that Hoseok was about to crush it for him.

Hoseok shook his head. “I don’t want to stay in the past. I need to move forward.” The wind spun around them silently, opening Hoseok’s black jacket to reveal the knife in his waistband. Hoseok’s eyes remained detached as he spoke. “You shouldn’t think about me. Ever. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.”

“I absolutely could, so please stay away.” He said coldly.

Taehyung looked down and shook his head. “You don’t understand, I don’t have a choice.” Taehyung paused for a long moment, letting his pain keep him from saying any more. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I ever brought this up. Goodbye. Go home safely.” Taehyung bowed and began walking in the opposite direction.

Happy birthday, Jung Hoseok.

Taehyung’s hand prickled with warmth the entire car ride back to the club. 

He opened and closed his palm but the feeling never went away. He couldn’t see anything in front of them besides Hoseok’s cold face as he told him to stay away. He couldn’t feel anything but the crushing feeling Hoseok left him with. Taehyung did his best to remind himself that Hoseok did not have to return his feelings. Hoseok did not owe him anything. It was enough for him to have Hoseok so close again. At least that was what he was trying to convince himself of.

A small sigh next to him interrupted his thoughts. He sat in the back with Jungkook, who was still tense despite the pleasant evening.

Taehyung watched his friend closely, looking for signs of distress. Jungkook saw him and shook his head before turning back to look out the window. It was clear he did not want to speak of it which meant Taehyung would not press further. If Jungkook wanted to talk he would.

Suga and RM chatted quietly in the front while Taehyung and Jungkook sat in silence. 

Suga had left quickly once they arrived at the club. Apparently he was late to a meeting with Taemoo. He left so quickly none of them had time to take off their seatbelts before he was gone. 

Jungkook finally spoke once Suga closed the door behind him. He leaned forward and put his chin on the passenger seat. “I’m going to tell him.” He said quietly into RM’s ear. 

RM turned around urgently, “Jungkook. No I don’t think-“

“Do you suspect him?”

RM looked at Taehyung before responding. “No.”

“Neither do I. He should know.”

“Know what?” Taehyung asked.

“Jungkook. We’ll die if it gets out.” RM said seriously.

“We can trust him.”

“Just spit it out.” Taehyung complained.

RM shook his head in disapproval. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He stepped out and closed the door behind him.

It was then that Jungkook told him about the mole.

Taehyung was surprised, not because there was a mole, but because of how little he actually cared about keeping Hybe afloat. It wouldn’t be so bad if it all came crashing down on Taemoo and Bang.

“Any idea who it is?” Taehyung asked.

“I’m not sure who it is…” Jungkook paused. Taehyung had a feeling he would not like whatever he was going to say next. “... but I’ve been suspecting Hoseok.”

“Jungkook.” Taehyung said sternly and rolled his eyes. The fact that there was a mole was not surprising, but it could not be Hoseok. It would not be Hoseok and he would refuse to put Hoseok in any danger even if he was.

“Hear me out. He has worked for the government his entire life. He appeared at the same time the cops said his mission had recently changed. He was likely spying in the shadows and now he has to spy from a closer distance. Let’s talk to him and ask him if we can help him-“

“Stop.” Taehyung interrupted. “You can think whatever you want but you will not put Hoseok in danger. He is not the mole.”

“How can you be so sure?” Jungkook questioned.

“If you used your intuition and common sense you would see it’s not him.” 

“Are you using your intuition and common sense? Or are you using something else?’ Jungkook said, frustrated. “Just because you might have fucked him once doesn’t mean he’s incapable of hurting you or any of us. He doesn’t even care about you anymore so why are you defending him?”

Taehyung grabbed Jungkook’s collar as a surprising amount of anger washed over him. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you suspect your idols, RM and Jin? Jin is the closest one to Taemoo out of all of us. Doesn’t that make the most sense? You’re going to get yourself fucking killed getting close to Jin. Why don’t you focus on living instead of looking for things that don’t need to be found? Let the mole do their job alone. You’re going to get them killed by telling everyone they’re here in the first place.” He threw him aside and stormed out of the car.

Jungkook didn’t follow after him and Taehyung did not look back. He could hear Jungkook yelling and pounding his fists on the car seats. He regretted his interaction with his friend more than he was willing to admit. A part of him wanted to run back and apologize but a larger part of him needed to step away and cool off.

If Jungkook was right, if Hoseok was the mole, Taehyung was willing to do anything to protect him and his mission.  Unless his mission was to hurt his family or his friends. He could never let that happen. He would protect his loved ones until the end

Even if it meant he had to kill Hoseok.

Chapter Text

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF PARK JIMIN

Every day at the fight club was just as monotonous as the last.

Jimin’s routine was always the same. He would arrive and look over the lineup for the day created by Jeonghan and adjust it as he saw fit. Opponents who wanted to fight with weapons would be placed together depending on the weapon they chose. Sometimes larger opponents like RM would be placed in the ring with multiple smaller opponents depending on the number of people who would be willing to enter the ring. The ones who entered the ring were not always there willingly. Once someone from the gambling den reached a certain amount of unpaid debt they would be forced to fight their debt away in the ring. Those always ended up dead. Besides the politics of the matches, Jimin’s goal was to create matches that provided maximum entertainment to maximize profits for the club.

For Taemoo.

Sometimes, when Jimin was done setting up the matches, Taemoo liked to come in and move the match ups around on his own. Taemoo thought he had a great eye for entertainment but he usually wasn’t very successful. Hoseok’s audition match was a perfect example of that. Jimin had originally placed Hoseok in the ring with four other men but Taemoo had underestimated greatly. Jimin always had to take the blame for the losses despite Taemoo being the one to cause them and then move on with his life. He would detach himself from his body and pretend he was not being insulted. He pretended he was watching the scene from the outside until Taemoo decided he was satisfied and walked away with his posse.

Jimin would complete other mundane tasks after creating the line up and then round on each fight before returning to his office to complete clerical work.

His least favorite part of the night was rounding on Jungkook’s fights.

Fights like those were the reason he was so grateful for Jihoon for being his eyes in the ring. Jihoon was in charge of ensuring every fight adhered to the rules that were agreed upon before the fight began which were not many. All he did was ensure the fighters held an equal number of weapons whether that be one, two, or none. Once in a while someone would get sneaky and bring in a knife or a set of brass knuckles when the fight was never set to be one with weapons. If any of the rules were broken, the Spine Breaker was brought in. Jimin rarely had to come out to fight but he dreaded it every time. It was the only time where he was forced to live up to his name and Taemoo’s favorite line.

You break the rules, we’ll break your spine.

Taemoo loved repeating the line whenever he brought in new high profile clients but Jimin loathed the name more than he could begin to explain. Jimin had cracked many spines before yet the sound of crunching bone never ceased to make him shiver. He had a more than complicated relationship with physical combat but he didn’t know if it was worse than Jungkook’s.

Last night, JK had both knees planted on either side of his final live opponent’s torso while he used a hammer to beat his opponent’s face into a mush of blood, lymphatic drainage, and cerebrospinal fluid. Jimin always did his best to seem like he was doing his job or rounding while avoiding the disturbing images in front of him. It was unnecessary to watch his friend take yet another life let alone so violently and even more unnecessary to see the gore that came alone with it. Even the sounds were disturbing. It didn’t matter how loud the crowd was, Jimin was able to discern the sound of the multiple impacts and carry the memory with him all of the way into his office. It didn’t matter where he was or what he did, he couldn’t escape the sound of metal pounding into flesh and bones crunching between iron and stone. 

It didn’t help that his office was placed above the ring. The flooring of his office was nothing but a large glass circle that allowed him to see down into the ring. He wanted to place a rug over it. He wanted to cover up the death and violence that occurred below him but he knew it would make him look weak which is why he never looked down.

He sat in his office now, waiting for another day of violence to begin. He shivered at the thought and walked out of the cold and dark room. He wanted to get some fresh air and shake off some of the jitters when he ran into his friends. Taehyung had extended a late lunch invitation, one which Jimin wasn’t very excited about and he had unfortunately accepted. Eating a large meal before a long night of blood and gore didn’t sound very appetizing but he agreed nonetheless. After all, he wouldn’t be able to work until three in the morning on an empty stomach. Yet he knew he would only feel disgusted if he was full.

He was sure if anyone ever found out how repulsed he was of violence he would be demoted back to a fighter. The fighter his father always wanted him to be. He laughed to himself and wondered how proud his father would be if he could see him now.

Jimin’s father had been a very successful Taekwondo fighter however a tear to his achilles tendon crushed his dreams of an Olympic gold medal. His father’s greediness to continue fighting after the injury sabotaged his recovery, leaving him with a poorly healed tendon and chronic pain. Once Jimin was born, his father was left with no other choice than to leave his dream behind and find a job as a taekwondo instructor to put food on the table.

Jimin’s sole purpose in life was to achieve his father’s dream, at least that’s what his father made it seem like. He was forced to partake in Taekwondo ever since he could walk. He didn’t hate the sport although he never actively sought out an opportunity to practice. He enjoyed knowing that he could defend himself and making his father proud. He enjoyed seeing himself improve and hearing his family’s praise, but his younger brother didn’t. 

Jisung was very dedicated to Taekwondo, but he was in the middle of the pack while Jimin was at the very top. His brother had never hid his jealousy and his father had never hid his disappointment in Jisung. His brother hated all encouragement that came from Jimin and his mother and pushed them away instead. While Jimin rested, Jisung continued practicing. Jisung asked their father to give him extra lessons which he agreed to but his father quickly gave up on him since he wasn’t progressing as fast as Jimin was.

Things became more tense when Jimin began high school. Jimin’s school wasn’t large enough to have a Taekwondo program so Jimin chose dance as his extracurricular activity. He assumed it was not much different than fighting. He didn’t see the harm in joining.

Little did he know dance would consume his life.

Unlike Taekwondo, Jimin actively sought out dance. He didn’t care if he was the best or the worst nor if he improved. He just wanted to dance. He stayed in the dance practice room for so long that he began to run late to his Taekwondo practice with his father. His father excused him the first few times, but he eventually grew angry. Jimin’s skills weren’t faltering so he didn’t see the harm in it, but his father was beginning to fear that he was going to leave the sport. Jisung couldn’t have been more pleased. His brother used the opportunity to get one on one training with their father and to drag Jimin’s name in the dirt although he wasn’t very successful. His father still favored Jimin especially when he saw his skills were just as polished every single time he returned home to practice.

The day Jisung mentioned the possibility of Jimin being distracted by a girl was the day his father lost his patience with him and picked him up from school as soon as the day was over. Thankfully Jimin had caught sight of him before he went to the dance studio or else his father would have known exactly what he had been up to. He knew he wasn’t doing anything bad but he knew that his father’s world might end if he found out Jimin was dancing.

Jimin insisted he was only staying late to study but his father didn’t sound convinced despite him being at the top of his class. Jimin slowly began to sound less and less convincing to himself as well. It wasn’t long before he wanted to spend all of his free time dancing. Every time he went out to the beach to practice with his father, he just thought about how much more he’d like to be dancing instead. Taekwondo began to feel like something that was robbing him from time with his true passion.

It wasn’t until Jisung joined high school with Jimin that the trouble started.

Jisung quickly found out where he spent all of his time. He caught Jimin dancing along in the practice room more than once. Jimin thought about asking Jisung to keep it a secret, but he didn’t. He secretly hoped that Jisung would tell his father so he wouldn’t have to.

Jisung’s eyes held more anger in them after he caught Jimin dancing. He wasn’t sure what exactly changed in him, but his hostility had reached an entirely new level. Jisung had called him ungrateful and a waste of talent. He threatened him with going to his father but he retracted his threat once he saw Jimin wasn’t fazed.

The years passed tensely. Jimin was constantly berated about his lack of motivation and Jisung’s empty threats continued. Even more trouble came once Taehyung took him to Seoul after school to fight in an underground club owned by his family. Jimin easily won his match against Taehyung and won a large amount of cash from it. It was a victory, yes, but his friend was lying on the floor in pain a few feet in front of him. He hurt someone he loved all for some stacks of paper with royal faces printed on them. It felt more wrong than he could explain or understand.

Everything became worse after they watched Jungkook’s father being killed by Taehyung’s father in the same ring Jimin had just fought his friend.

The crunch of Mr. Jeon’s spine has echoed in his memory since that day. He hasn’t been able to stand the sound of crunching bones ever since then nor has he lost his fear of stepping into that same ring.

Jungkook lost all of his sanity after his father died and began pounding his fists into Taehyung, blaming him for what happened. Jungkook went so far that Jimin became afraid he would kill Taehyung. The only way to get him to stop was to fight him.

He told himself he would never fight another human being after that day. He couldn’t stand the guilt and the pain that the violence had brought them all.

Jimin’s father was waiting for him once he got home late that night. He furiously searched his backpack and found the cash. Jimin had not come up with a cover story should the money be found, in fact, he had forgotten all about it. He was more focused on the crunching sound that resonated through his memory and the chill of Mr. Jeon’s lifeless body. Jimin had no choice but to tell the truth. There was a loud discussion about Jimin being irresponsible and risking an injury. He wasn’t surprised that his father was more concerned about him getting an injury than the fact that he earned cash at a gang’s fight club. If Jimin was injured, he couldn’t fight. How could an injured athlete become an Olympian? His father went on and on until Jisung had decided to come downstairs and finally mention Jimin’s dancing.

His father quickly assumed Jimin was dancing instead of fighting and decided to punish him with a few whips from his heaviest belt despite Jimin confessing the truth. Jimin was forbidden from going anywhere after that. He was forced to miss a few days of school so his father could keep him from dancing. He spent the entire day training with his father at the Taekwondo academy instead, but he also got to spend a lot more time with his mother. Jisung would leave for the Taekwondo academy immediately after school, leaving Jimin and his mother alone at home. 

His mother had always hated violence, even for sport. She wasn’t happy that Jimin had gone to an underground club and forbade him from ever going again. She said she much rather have him try to become a dancer than the fighter his father was trying to shape him to be. To say it surprised him would be an understatement. His mother had never shown any disapproval in what his father was trying to force unto him nor had she ever mentioned an alternative life for him. He saw her silence as agreement. 

Little did he know it was fear. Fear of her husband becoming violent towards her for undermining his dream despite him never having laid a hand on her.

Jimin had learned more about his mother than he had in his entire life in the few days he was placed on house arrest. The more he spoke to her the more he realized they had much in common. He would have never guessed his mother used to practice ballet as a hobby once she got married. She claimed being at home while her husband was training was too lonely for her. While her husband went to fight she learned the delicate art of ballet. She confessed that she wasn’t great at it but she was happy doing it. Jimin felt so seen and so safe speaking to her that he confessed his desire to apply for an arts school in Seoul and major in dance. His mother said that she would support him when the time came despite what his father believed. Jimin wanted to believe that she would support him but why would she? She had never spoken up for him once nor had she ever gone against anything his father said. What would be different this time? He convinced himself she wouldn’t do anything when the time came. He was glad he did because he was right to be skeptical.

When the time came to apply for college, his father insisted he attend the Korea National Sport University but Jimin wanted to go to the Korea National University of Arts to become a dance major. Jimin never thought his dinner would have ended under a flipped dining room table that night. His mother and Jisung looked terrified and so was he. He didn’t want to fight his father, but he would if he were to try and lay a hand on anyone.

His father went on and on on how much of a disappointment he had become. He made sure to let him know just how much talent Jimin was throwing away on something only whore’s did.

Jimin wasn’t a violent person despite fighting his entire life but his father was bringing emotions out of him he didn’t know he had. Jimin needed to leave his suffocating household if he was going to get anywhere in life. He knew Taehyung would let him stay in his house without question, especially now that the last days of school were approaching. Jimin would finish school and leave for Seoul with Jungkook and Taehyung.

The only thing holding him back was his mother. He looked at her eyes, eyes which did not look at him. He went up to the bedroom he shared with Jisung and began to pack his things.

“Hyung, where are you going?” Jisung grabbed his wrist.

“I’m going to live my own life. Please let me go.”

Jisung let him go and stood quietly behind him while Jimin packed.

“You need to protect mom now. Don’t ever let dad lay a hand on her. Do you understand?” Jimin turned around and stood in front of his brother.

“You’re going to give up your dream over a little hobby? You’re ridiculous!” He felt awful once he saw his brother’s angry expression. Just like Jimin, he was only a teenage boy. How could he possibly carry the burden of protecting his mother? How could either of them carry the burden of living out their father's dream?

“Jisung.” Jimin said sternly. “What is your dream?”

“Winning gold in Taekwondo at the Olympic games.” He said without hesitation.

“Is that your dream? Or is it appa's dream for you?”

Jisung never replied and Jimin didn’t wait to see what kind of effect his question had on him. Jimin’s dad entered the room shortly after. He prohibited Jimin from leaving and began listing his punishment but Jimin wasn’t listening. He was only checking off items in his mind. He needed to make sure he didn’t leave anything important behind, because he knew that he was never going to come back.

His father flipped his suitcase over and yelled at him once more. Jimin picked it up and began piling his items back in. He reached to flip it over again but Jisung stopped him.

“Appa, please stop. You’re scaring us.” His voice was trembling. Jisung held both of his father’s hands in his own.

Their mother stood in the hall crying, begging her husband to calm down.

“This isn’t about you, child. Leave.” He pulled his hands out of Jisung’s and stood over Jimin. 

“What are you going to do when you leave? All you can do is fight. How will you make a living? Dancing won’t get you anywhere in life. No son of mine will become a dancer.” He spoke his neck words with a disgust so potent Jimin would never forget.  “Only whores dance.”

Jimin slammed his suitcase shut. “Was I ever your son? I spent my entire childhood training instead of taking trips to Everland or Lotte World. All of the other kids went to the playground with their parents and learned how to make kimchi with their family. All the appas took their sons to the sauna and taught them how to drink. I spent my time training to become an athlete instead of being a kid. I was not your son. I was just a vessel to fulfill your failed dream.” He motioned to all of the trophies and medals on his bedroom walls. “You can keep your trophies since they’re all you've ever wanted.”

His father lifted his hand to strike Jimin but he stopped him. “Don’t try to discipline me like a parent does. I was never and will never be your son. All I am is a student you’ve lost.” Jimin picked up his backpack and suitcase and walked downstairs to the front door.

There, he said a final goodbye to his distant but kind mother and his brother.

His mother begged him not to leave and apologized for not standing up for him but it was too late. There was nothing that could make Jimin stay now.

“Find your own dream. Don’t try to live someone else’s.” He told Jisung before walking away.

It was only until much later that Jimin realized his father had been right.

His graduation came shortly after he left his home. He had no money nor a place to call home. Taehyung’s couch was only a temporary solution that became more permanent than it was supposed to be.

In the week after their graduations, Jimin and Jungkook went to live in Seoul with Taehyung in an apartment paid for by Taehyung's uncle, Min Daehyun. He was a highly respected man who did not run the club as greedily as Taemoo did. Now that Jungkook had graduated, Mr. Min had given him a position as a fighter in the club and a hefty sum of money as compensation for his father’s death. Jungkook had no choice but to accept as he was a homeless teenager. Jimin would have been one too if Jungkook had not offered him shelter.

Taehyung was forced to fight in the club while he was trained to launder the club’s money under the night club in Seoul. Jungkook became a full time fighter, quickly rising to one of the best in the club. Jimin had the option to join but he did not want to join a gang, as a dancer or a fighter. 

He wanted to make a living on his own by dancing out in the real world. He told himself that his living situation was only temporary. He would eventually get a well paying job at an entertainment company and move out of Jungkook’s apartment. Or so he hoped.

Mooching off of Taehyung and Jungkook wasn’t something he was proud of, but it was the only thing that was keeping him clothed and fed at the time. Dance agencies in Seoul were very picky with the dancers they hired. They had told Jimin he was too feminine to attract women or that his dance style didn’t match what they were looking for. He worked at a convenience store while he looked for dancing gigs but he wasn’t making enough to afford a place of his own.

Jimin decided he had three options: continue mooching off his friends, go back home to his parents, or work for The Solar Lair owned by Hybe. He knew some details about the business but Taehyung only ever discussed the fighting and the gambling, he never mentioned the dancers. He had heard Taehyung mention something here and there about the front of the fight club being a nightclub that held private dancers and escorts downstairs. He asked Taehyung for details one night although his friend was too caught up in the paperwork in front of him to understand where Jimin was going.

Jungkook understood what was happening as soon as the first question left his mouth. Jungkook immediately opposed the idea. He insisted that he made enough money from his fights to keep them both fed and clothed for a very long time but Jimin knew it would put a strain on their friendship someday. He’d rather join the gang rather than lose his best friend.

Later, when he was less busy, Taehyung had warned Jimin that once he took a job under Hybe, he would never be able to leave alive, regardless of where he worked or how low of a position it was. Jimin’s finances hadn’t left him any other choice so he asked his friend to bring him to the club once again.

Taehyung introduced him to Taeyang, the old boss of the brothel and escort rooms, and set up an interview. Taeyang was very vocal about Jimin’s potential. He liked Jimin’s unique look and thought he could attract a whole new group of clients.

Jimin was allowed to sit and watch the dancers for the night to see how he would have to perform the next day. He would be lying if he didn’t say he regretted his decision. The clients were old and filthy. They were grimy people who seemed like they spent their entire paychecks fulfilling their most hideous desires at the club every week. The dancers were touched and catcalled yet they acted as if nothing was happening around them. Some even danced while trapped in glass cases with prices below them. He was told it was only the price for a private dance but he was afraid it was the price for something else. 

Jimin would also be on sale every night for private dances, “for now”, Taeyang had said. He had to prove his ability to reel in clients before he could be given a position as a prostitute, which he didn’t want. He only wanted to dance. Taeyang had assured that he would not have to go into the brothel anytime soon if he did not want to. 

As long as Taeyang was in charge he would be safe.

It wasn't easy for Taeyang to protect him. Clients kept bugging Taeyang because Jimin refused to sleep with them. Taeyang redirected them to the brothel but they always made a scene because they wanted Jimin specifically. Word got to Taemoo, who was sitting in the chair Suga sat in today, so he began to pressure Taeyang to place Jimin in the brothel. He insisted Jimin was a wasted talent that should be placed somewhere where he would make the club the most profit.

Jimin’s arm twitched when he heard Taemoo say that. He was about ready to grab his head and slam it into Taeyang’s desk. Was their budget the only thing that mattered? Did Jimin have no say in what he wanted to do with his life? He then remembered what Taehyung kept repeating the night Jimin had asked him to help him join the club.

Once you join, you will be theirs. You will no longer have a thing called a choice. You won’t own yourself anymore. They will. If you resist you die.

Jimin would rather die than become a whore.

Jimin already felt disgusting enough as he put on despicable clothing and make up and stood on a platform with a pole impaled in the middle. He flinched every single time his hands made contact with the filthy pole. He felt the most disgusting when he saw the way the clients looked at him. What was he doing with the life that was given to him? Why was he throwing it away in such a vile way? He wanted to do good. He wanted to be good. He could not be good if he stayed. He needed to find a way out of the madness. He needed to find a way to be washed clean of all he had done. Yet how could he topple over all the obstacles the world had set in front of him on his own?

Things escalated once Mr. Min and his wife were murdered by their own son.

Mr. Min had two other sons who could have taken over his position but both were deemed mentally unstable to do so.

Agust had been training in Japan since he graduated high school so he was never taught how to run the club. He flew from Japan to murder his twin brother, King, by bashing his skull into the corner of a train car as revenge for killing his parents. He had a psychotic break afterward and went on a killing spree for weeks.

Suga had been very close to beginning his training to take over Mr. Min’s position but the process was halted once the man died. Once his parents died, he set fire to the Min mansion and disappeared for days.

The next boss by default would have been Taehyung’s mother, Min Hari, but everyone had presumed her dead so Mr. Bang transferred power to her only known partner, Kim Taemoo.

Taemoo already held a high position in the club which should have made the transition of power go by smoothly except it wasn’t. Mr. Bang had allowed Taemoo to get rid of any personnel he did not deem necessary or productive. Members of the gang were slaughtered left and right including Taeyang.

Jimin vomited the second he heard about Taeyang’s death.

Jimin should have known better. He should have known. He cursed himself for not listening to his father, regardless of how much he hated his father’s plan for him. Gangjae had taken over Taeyang’s position and made it very clear that he would be placed in the brothel the following week. 

Jimin thought of how he would escape as he danced the next few nights. He had a solid escape plan in place, but he didn’t know how he would hide from Hybe once he was out. He was sure they would search for him. Taemoo and Mr. Bang would send their assassins after him and kill him before he had a chance to reach any kind of safehouse. He moved around the pole slowly and lazily, trapped in his thoughts, when someone tapped on the glass.

The light of the club was so red and dim it made it almost impossible for Jimin to see past the glass in front of him. He always danced around the pole blindly, rarely being able to catch a glimpse of the men and women who looked at his price on the plaque at the bottom of the glass case he had to step in every night.

He leaned forward only to make out Taeju’s disapproving face. “Look alive.” Jimin couldn’t hear him, he could only make out the shape of his lips.

If Taeju wasn’t the son of such a monster he would have been handsome. Both of Taemoo’s son’s had been able to avoid his hideous genes and obtain beauty from the two women who birthed them. He didn’t know what Taeju’s mother looked like but he was sure she was beautiful because his pleasing facial features were incomparable to Taemoo’s. His eyes were sharp like a fox’s and so were his cheekbones and jaw. His hair was dark and sleek just like his general appearance. He was tall and well put together but none of it changed who he was and what he stood for. He supported Taemoo blindly and unquestioningly despite Jimin believing he would have been a good man if it were not for Taemoo.

Jimin glared at Taeju who walked away without another glance.

His annoyance disappeared when he saw Taehyung walk past not a second later. His handsome friend smiled and winked at him and Jimin returned the gesture, dancing his most seductive dance for his friend who only laughed at the sight. Jimin laughed with him but stopped once he saw the men walking side by side behind Taehyung.

He had never seen them before but he had heard of them often. 

The Min twins.

He had never seen them up close before nor did he know which was which.

A month after the Min family disaster and the Solar Lair slaughter, Suga was finally chosen to manage the entire building when he failed at becoming a fighter.  Apparently he spilled too much blood on the ground that it was too difficult to clean between fights. 

Agust had been offered a more unethical position. Taemoo was impressed by how cold headed he was for killing his brother and offered him a position as an assassin. He was known to kill his victims by brutally carving them open until their organs spilled out of their body. There was supposed to be a scar on his face, inflicted by King himself, but he couldn’t see well in the dim lighting.

Goosebumps rose on his skin when one of them turned to look at him

Song: Like Crazy by Jimin

The man’s dark feline eyes met his own immediately. His head was tilted back slightly and his lips were pressed into a flat line. His expression was bored and unimpressed, a stark contrast to the surprise on Jimin’s own face. He was extraordinarily handsome in a way that made Jimin’s body feel warm. His face looked frigid but his skin looked so soft and perfect, especially the skin that pulled taut against his jaw. His hair was darker than the night under the lights of the club and so was his suit. He held his hands in fists inside his trouser pockets, his rings struggling against the fabric of his pants as he walked. The man next to him was identical to him, they even held the same bored expression only he kept his gaze forward, not bothering to acknowledge Jimin at all. Although handsome, he didn’t hold the same luster as the first man did. The two men looked the same but Jimin felt something spark in him at the sight of the man closest to him.

They only locked eyes for a brief moment before the man looked forward and moved on.

Jimin felt disgusting then. 

He wanted to break through the glass and explain to the stranger that this wasn’t the kind of dance he wanted to participate in. He didn’t want to be sold off to strangers. He wanted to explain to the stranger that he was only there to make money. He wanted the stranger to know that he didn’t enjoy the catcalls or cheers of the clients. He wanted to explain to him that he wasn’t a whore. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to justify himself for everything.

He remembered his father’s words most clearly at that moment. 

Only whores dance. 

He wanted to rip out of his provocative clothing and scrub his skin raw. He wanted to turn back time and never tie himself to Hybe. 

He took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself to step into the small dressing room with a wall sized mirror. He refused to look at himself in his abominable attire. He removed it quickly, changing out of the revealing dark red outfit that showed off the array of moon tattoos on his back and opted for a white long sleeve sweater that only revealed a faint shadow of the ink through the knitting. He sat in the small chair in front of the mirror and looked at his face. The man he was looking at was not the man he wanted to be. His hair was so blonde it was almost white. The contacts he wore made his eyes eerily blue and the dark make up didn’t help. He rubbed it off quickly and took off the contacts to reveal his human dark brown eyes and covered his hair with a dark beanie. He sighed as the change in colors brought him a sense of safety and relief.

He didn’t want to be literally and figuratively chained to a pole and being forced to dance around it. He had once wanted to jump, spin, sway, and twist as he pleased. He had once wanted to choose his own music and wardrobe. He had wanted all of that once upon a time. He would give it all up now. He would give up his dream of dancing if he could step out of that cage and break the chains that kept him tied to such a detestable place.

He wanted to be free.

He threw on a gray bucket hat and slung his bag over his shoulder before making his way to Taeju’s office like Jin had advised. 

Taehyung and the others were always so busy that none of them ever had time to help him find a way out of the brothel. It wasn’t until he looked over RM’s shoulder and saw Jin reading in the infirmary alone that he decided to go ask him for help. If anyone knew how he was feeling he knew it was Jin. Jin was regularly prostituted against his will, but he had never found a way out although he was certain the man had tried. Maybe he knew of something that could help Jimin.

Jin scanned his body for an injury the second he walked in. Once he saw none he quickly whispered to Jimin to fake an injury. Jimin gripped his abdomen immediately. Jin directed him to a bed where they closed the curtain behind themselves. Jimin quickly launched into an explanation of all that was happening. Jin listened attentively before giving Jimin the most bizarre response ever.

“Go see Taeju. He will know what to do, and if he doesn’t, continue pushing him. He will know. Trust me.”

Jimin had never really spoken to Taeju nor had he heard great things about him. According to Taehyung, Taeju was just a younger version of Taemoo although Jimin did not know how much he agreed with him. Taeju was very detached and logical whereas Taemoo was emotional and monstrous. He didn’t feel like ripping Taeju’s throat out every time he saw him like he did with Taemoo.

Jimin stood in front of Taeju’s desk, explaining all he had explained to Jin.

Taeju didn’t meet his gaze. “You’ll officially be moved to the brothel on Wednesday.”

Jimin’s stomach dropped. This was not how it was supposed to go.

Taeju typed something onto his computer with a flat expression on his face. “My father has been pressuring Gangjae to send you there. There’s nothing I can do.” 

“Mr. Bang has always said the brothels are a choice. Does this rule not apply here?” Jimin’s voice was shaking.

He never looked away from the computer. “Of course. You have two choices, join or die.”

Jimin felt fear begin to crawl up his throat. “Please, there must be something I can do.”

Taeju finally looked up at Jimin and sighed. His expression did not change nor did it seem like he was intending on speaking again. He stayed that way for a minute until he looked Jimin up and down, not in a predatory way, but in a calculative way. “Can you fight?”

Jimin internally gasped, hopeful. “Yes. I have practiced Taekwondo all my life.”

Taeju nodded and sat back, his black suit creasing with the movement. “You’ve practiced, but are you any good?”

“I was. I don’t know if I still am.” He hadn’t fought ever since his last practice with his father over a year ago, he wasn’t sure if he could scrape off all the rust and fight like he used to.

“You’re friends with Taehyung right? Find him and ask him to take you to Dongseok. You might be able to get yourself a spot in the fight club instead, which you should have done in the first place if you say you’re a good fighter.” He raised a brow. “But if Dongseok doesn’t take you in then you’ll have no other choice.” He sat forward again and continued typing on his computer.

“I understand.” Jimin said, unwilling to let go of the hope he held. “Thank you.” He bowed deeply and began to walk away.

“If anyone asks, this was all your idea.” Taeju called out just before Jimin opened the door to leave.

“Yes, thank you!”

Jimin didn’t wait, he ignored RM’s greeting when he walked past the doors of Dongseok’s office and focused on his destination. He found Taehyung in his office, counting money with Geunwon and pleaded with him to take him to Dongseok.

“You understand that you’ll have to seriously injure people to the point of disability or death if you join the fight club, right?” Taehyung counted money as he spoke, never looking away from the bills in his hands.

The snap of Mr. Jeon’s neck came to mind briefly.

Jimin gripped the strap of his bag. “I do.”

“What if you have to fight Jungkook? Will you be able to handle that?” His posture was visibly tense although he did not stop counting.

No.

“Yes.”

Taehyung raised a brow, likely having seen right through Jimin. “You haven’t had the best experience fighting in this club, let alone fighting as a whole. Are you sure you are willing to deal with all that comes with being a lethal fighter?”

“I am.”

No, I don’t want this either.

Taehyung put the stack he was counting aside and looked at his friend briefly before moving his gaze to the vault. The only sound in the room was of the bill counter rattling next to Geunwon as Taehyung thought it over.

“Tomorrow. I’ll take you to Dongseok tomorrow.”

If it wasn’t for Geunwon’s presence, he would have asked his friend to take back his request. He did not want to hurt people like Taehyung’s father had hurt Jungkook’s. He didn’t want to live with the guilt of hurting others. He didn’t even know if he would be capable of doing so.

He thought of seeking out Jungkook’s advice but he realized he would likely only dissuade him from fighting. He considered moving to the brothel but he couldn’t stand to become what his father had accused him of being nor could he let the Min twin see him as a whore. He didn’t want to lose his autonomy either. He wanted to be in control of his body, not finish giving it up completely. Little did he know that becoming a fighter would not give him any more ownership of his body than being a whore would have.

Tomorrow came slower and quicker than expected. He was waiting for the evening to come, eager to see if he would be given an opportunity but he was also afraid he would be given one. He didn’t want to injure anyone let alone kill anyone. Much to his relief or dread, he was still deciding which, Dongseok granted him an opportunity to join, but he would have to fight to prove his skills.

Although Jimin said his specialty was Taekwondo, Dongseok reminded him that all fights were considered a freestyle match, where all strikes were legal, no matter how lethal. It wasn’t like that before. If two fighters decided on boxing, they would fight without breaking the rules of boxing. The point was not to kill, but to win. Now that Taemoo was in power, only death or near death would bring victory. That night he was forced to step into the same ring he had avoided ever since the day Jungkook’s father died.

Jimin was too afraid to remember the name of his opponent. The man was his age but he was clearly less experienced and although his blows were powerful they were sloppy. They were easy enough to dodge and it was easy enough to strike him. Every roar from the colosseum made Jimin hopeful that he would get a position. He was only thinking of himself when he accidentally broke the man’s spine with one powerful kick to the lower back. He almost blacked out when he heard the familiar snap of bones, the snap he had heard in that very ring so long ago. The crowd cheered when the man fell in agony and the announcer raised Jimin’s arm in victory. Jimin could only look at the man, falling unconscious with pain only a meter away. His screams of agony were drowned out into the crowd. That was what the roar of the crowd had cost him. A guilt that would never fade away.

Would he have felt better if the Min twin had seen him like that instead? Standing over a broken boy cheering in victory instead of dancing behind glass?

No, he wouldn’t.

Unlike most of the people in Hybe, he didn’t gain pleasure from watching others hurt, let alone being the one doing the hurting. Just like that, he had trapped himself again. He took off his old chains and put on new ones. Ones that looked exactly like the ones he had just taken off.

Dongseok was impressed enough with him to give him the name of Spine Breaker and give him a position in the fight club.

Jimin hated the name. It stuck and spread quickly, each call reminding him of the man he made paraplegic. He never minded fighting for sport but fighting to harm was repulsive. Taemoo came to watch him the next night. Dongseok had warned him to put on a show and break his opponent's spine to show Taemoo how he had gotten his name. He warned him Taemoo could have him taken out whenever he wanted therefore his life depended on the show. 

So that is what he did.

Over.

And Over.

And Over.

His fame grew quickly. Everyone lined up to watch the Spine Breaker, cheering whenever he finished his fight with a blow to his opponent’s neck or back, sometimes both.

It was painful going against every instinct of his and ignoring the guilt that came with hurting others, but he didn’t know if it was more painful than being fucked by a greasy old man.

He drowned out the pain at the bar downstairs, getting drunk so often that RM waited for Jimin to get drunk to take him home every night. He all but dragged Jimin into bed every day and left a glass of water and a painkiller on his nightstand.

He was going to get drunk after an exceptionally painful battle one night but he stopped the glass from reaching his lips when he saw him again.

Song: Radar by Lil Hero

Two men stood at the top of the steps that made up the club’s main stage, DJing together for the night. They manipulated the crowd through the music they played, bouncing their heads to the beats they played. He recognized one of them as Yang Yijeong, the manager of the night club.

The other was the Min twin he wanted.

Jimin didn’t listen to the music, he only looked at the man that had been on his mind the second he laid eyes on him. Looking at him was even better than getting drunk. It took away the pain and drowned his mind with thoughts that were far far from the fighting pit. Jimin watched him shamelessly, knowing that no one was watching him staring and that the man would never meet his eyes.

Jimin watched him for longer than appropriate, remembering how much more beautiful he is up close. He was perfect. It was everything Jimin wanted in a man put into one package. It wasn’t just his looks, it was the look in his eyes. He looked like a man who would die for anything he believed in or loved strongly enough. He looked like a man who would never lie or betray. One who would fight for anything he wanted regardless of what it cost him.

I don’t know how I am going to do it, but I will have that man.

The thought startled him. Jimin didn’t know when he had become so brave. He always pretended to be confident and flirtatious when he gave clients private dances just like he pretended to be strong and fearsome in the fighting pit. He didn’t feel like he truly held such courage inside of him but he would drag it out of himself if only to have the man who had looked up from the turntables and at him.

Although being under the man's gaze made Jimin nervous, he didn’t look away. He looked even closer only to notice the man he wanted did not have a scar on his face.

The man he wanted was Suga.

He watched the man watch him and vice versa until Yijeong nudged him to turn his attention back to the turntables. Suga took turns moving his eyes from the turntable and back to Jimin, clearly confused as to why Jimin was staring.

If you want to know so badly you should come ask me.

He watched as Suga said something into Yijeong’s ear. He nodded, as if whatever he had been told was insignificant, and continued manning the turntables although he never moved his eyes away from Suga.

Suga removed the pair of headphones on his head and placed them down before giving Jimin one last glance. He stepped down from the booth and walked in the direction of the bar. 

Jimin’s heart began to pound as heat flooded his face and panic began to settle itself in him. He turned his body towards the bar and held his untouched drink in his hands, suddenly regretful of his actions. He never once seriously thought the man would approach him, let alone now when he was still sweaty after his fight and his hair stuck messily against his forehead. He would not be able to interact with the man without being a nervous mess. He knew what he wanted but he never expected to attain it. He begged, he begged so hard for the man not to approach him. He gripped his glass in his hands expectantly, his nerves causing his entire body to tremble.

Jimin waited for the seat next to him to be filled but the man never came. 

He looked around for him after a few minutes only to find nothing. Jimin downed his drink, both relieved and disappointed, before making his way home.

His legs almost failed him when he saw the man outside, smoking a cigarette. The sleeves of his black button up shirt were rolled up to reveal pale toned forearms with smooth thick veins running along their surface. Suga looked forward absently, lost in his thoughts, while Jimin panicked silently.

Jimin cursed when he realized he had to cross right in front of him to reach the bus stop that would take him to his apartment. He swallowed his nerves and walked past him quickly, ignoring the smell of poisonous fumes.

“Hey Spine Breaker.” A deep and monotonous voice called out.

Jimin came to an abrupt stop, startled by not only the voice but the use of the name he hated so much. “What?” He said as harshly as intended and looked in the direction of the voice.

The twin watched him, cigarette held loosely in one of his hands. On that same hand were four large silver rings that spelled the name S-U-G-A although there was something off about the letters. They were mirrored so that if he were to pound his fist into something the rings would leave the name “SUGA” stamped perfectly.

“Care for a smoke?” He raised his hand lightly.

Jimin wanted to kick himself for the way he responded earlier. “No thanks, I don’t smoke.” He ignored the desire in him for the man and began to walk away but stopped when Suga spoke again.

“Good. Bad habits are hard to kill. Don’t you think so?” He inhaled another puff of air before walking towards Jimin. They stood about a foot apart, but he could almost physically feel Suga’s heat from where he stood. It made the feeling in his lower abdomen intensify with every breath.

Jimin thought back to his habit of drinking every night after a fight and how impossible it felt to go home and sleep without being numb to the world after hurting so many people. “Our lifestyles are what drives us into forming bad habits. Maybe if we lived better lives we wouldn’t have such shit ways of coping.” He said every word while looking into the man’s eyes. They were the same height, so he felt confident enough as he looked forward and not up.

Jimin watched Suga’s soft tangerine colored lips as he spoke. “Pulling out the weed from the root.” He nodded as he put out the remainder of his cigarette in an ash bin nearby. “It’s always the best way.”  He gazed at Jimin’s mouth.

If Jimin didn’t have any shame or restraint, he would have stepped forward and closed the distance between them.

Suga sighed when Jimin didn’t respond and placed his hands in his pockets before pinning Jimin with a gaze that made him believe the man desired him as much as he did. He said every word slowly in a tone that implied something different from the actual words said.  “Care for a ride?” He nodded to a silver Jaguar parked a few meters down the street.

Every hair on Jimin’s body stood on end as he asked, “Will you give me one?”

“As many as you want.”

Jimin would have never believed he would have been laying in Suga’s bed that night.

Suga did as he said he would. He gave Jimin what he wanted over and over until the two were too exhausted to continue. It gave Jimin enough of a distraction that he forgot his own name when they were together.

Suga had a much much better effect than alcohol.

After that night, Jimin kept showing up at Suga’s doorstep every night and the latter was always more than willing to let him in. The night always began the same way, clothes strewn all over the floor and urgent kisses. Yet it ended differently every time. 

The first night, Suga had let Jimin stay the night, stating that the sun would rise soon anyway. Jimin threw the excuse back at him before picking his clothes up and running out of the door. The next night Suga made another excuse for him to stay, asking him to eat breakfast before he left since the sun had risen already. Jimin was hesitant as he did not know if he and Suga could have as much chemistry in a conversation than they did physically but he had been wrong to worry. The two conversed easily, as if they had known each other for a very long time.

Jimin washed up while Suga cooked for him in the kitchen. It was oddly comfortable and natural. So much that it became a habit. Jimin began helping Suga in the kitchen and they spoke while they worked. They never talked about the club. It was always about their friends or old stories from when they were growing up. Jimin heard so many different stories about Yoongi and his life. He quickly found that Yoongi was humble, charming, and intelligent, but most of all kind and pure. Yoongi had big dreams and wise thoughts.

He was everything Jimin wasn’t.

Jimin didn’t have any valuable attributes but Yoongi had them all. He had everything Jimin could have possibly wanted in a lifelong partner. The last thing Jimin had ever expected from this new way of coping was developing feelings for Min Yoongi.

What began as an escape quickly turned into something that was anchoring him to Yoongi quicker than Jimin could process.

Jimin suddenly wanted to protect Yoongi from the world. He wanted to do whatever he could to make Yoongi happy but he was scared. He didn’t want to get too close so that it wouldn’t hurt so much when Yoongi decided he was tired of Jimin.

Yoongi dove deep into the darkest parts of himself and lay them all before Jimin. On the other hand, Jimin liked to keep Yoongi at arms length because he was scared that if Yoongi looked too close he would find something he didn’t like and leave. He didn’t want to give Yoongi the opportunity to be disappointed in Jimin’s blandness. Jimin wasn’t attractive or interesting. He wasn’t smart and didn’t have deep thoughts. He wasn’t funny and he didn’t have any skills like Yoongi’s. He did not have a deep and dark life story like Yoongi did. There was nothing for Jimin to bring to the table. 

The only things he knew how to do were to fight and dance around a pole.

He wondered how long it would take for Yoongi to get tired of looking at Jimin’s empty side of the table.

That was the root of all of their arguments. Jimin was honest about his insecurity, afraid his dishonesty would make Yoongi hate him. Yoongi always tried to reassure him that he was enough, that he would never leave him, but Jimin knew it was too good to be true. Their arguments were always the excuse Jimin used to leave for the night. They stopped spending the morning together after one particularly heated argument. Things had gotten so out of hand he feared Yoongi wouldn’t open the door for him the next day.

But he did. Jimin decided he would keep showing up as long as Yoongi was willing to open the door for him.

Months had passed and Yoongi was still willing to open his home to Jimin every night. The topic of their arguments never changed nor did they ever get resolved as Jimin did not know how to stop living with such a huge sense of inadequacy. Jimin was becoming increasingly exhausted with their repetitive arguments and so was Yoongi.

Yet somehow Yoongi found it in himself to bring up the word love. It was a word Jimin pretended he didn’t hear.

Jimin had just finished putting his clothes back on when Yoongi hugged him from behind. He began speaking about how much he loved him and missed him in the morning when he woke without him.

Jimin stepped out of his embrace, and out the door without a word.

Jimin didn’t know how to respond. He knew love, platonic love. He loved Taehyung, Jungkook, RM, and Jin. He would die for them.

He didn’t know romantic love. He didn’t know what it felt like to be loved. He didn’t even know if he loved Yoongi. What did romantic love feel like? Would he die for him like he would for Taehyung? Jimin didn’t know how to be in love with someone, let alone someone who he was waiting for to leave him.

Yet Yoongi persisted. Even when Jimin stopped showing up at his doorstep, Yoongi would show up to his. Jimin kept letting Yoongi in, unable to resist, and bedded him almost every night. He tried to tell Yoongi that he was no good for him but he wouldn’t listen. Yoongi always said such nice things about Jimin that weren’t true. Jimin convinced himself that Yoongi only said them because he was blinded by love. He was partially grateful for his persistence as Jimin had attached himself so much to Yoongi that he eventually reached a point of no return. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if Yoongi left him. He couldn’t let it happen. 

Jimin had to end their relationship before it ended him.

Jimin didn’t attempt to see Yoongi again after he suggested they engage in an official relationship and go on a real date.

Yoongi called him twice that night but Jimin didn’t answer. He was afraid Yoongi would show up on his doorstep after being unable to contact Jimin so he went to one of the other clubs Taemoo owned with Taehyung and Jungkook. They were very vocal about their surprise at Jimin's suggestion to meet up. Jungkook even made a joke about Yoongi never letting him go out with his friends. Little did he know Jimin was once the one that couldn’t let go of Yoongi.

Jungkook later suggested they dance with Taehyung but despite Jimin’s attempts to let loose, he wasn’t in the mood. He couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi sitting alone in his apartment, waiting for someone that would never come or knocking on a door that would never open or calling a phone that would never be picked up.

He sat at the bar alone, watching his friends lose themselves in the music, when a familiar voice sounded next to him.

“Hi.”

Jimin subtly recognized the man as the boss of the Itaewon club. He briefly wondered what business he had in Gangnam when he should be busy managing his own club on the other side of the river.

“Kim Woosung.” He put out his hand. “I believe we’ve met before but it’s been a while. You’re Suga’s boyfriend right? I thought I saw you outside his apartment a while ago.”

Jimin took a moment to process everything. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Woosung let out a sigh. “Well that’s a relief. I thought I did something bad there for a minute.” He put a hand on his chest and sighed with exaggerated relief.

“What do you mean?” Jimin held his breath.

Woosung smiled but it was dripping with pride. “Oh you don’t know? I’ve been seeing him for a while now. We’re on a little bit more than friendly terms if you know what I mean.” Woosung purposely extended his exposed neck in Jimin’s direction. There were red marks in various stages of healing scattered over his neck and chest.

Jimin’s stomach dropped.

“He said he had been feeling really lonely these mornings so I’ve been paying him a few visits. I was worried he was in a relationship and was lying to me.” He gave Jimin a quick scan from head to toe, “Thankfully, I was wrong.” He smiled and finished the last of his drink. “Well it was nice to see you, Jinming.” He gave Jimin a hard pat on the back. “Enjoy your night. I hope I’ll see you around more often.” He gave Jimin a wink before leaving the club.

Jimin destroyed a few punching bags that night. His neighbors came up to complain about the noise but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore. It was like every part of him capable of feeling anything turned off every time he hit the sandy sack. The next day, his knuckles and legs were plastered with large purple bruises as well as the bags under his eyes. All thoughts of Yoongi disappeared every time he accidentally touched a bruise or moved a sore limb too quickly.

I was right. I was right. I was never going to be enough for him. He told himself.

Yoongi came to find him at the club the next day.

“Jimin.” He breathed out. “Oh what a relief. Where were you last night? Why-? Oh. What happened to you?” He motioned to Jimin’s bare forearms. He had rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands in the bathroom and Yoongi had conveniently walked in just as his arms were on full display. The bruises were darker than they were this morning. Yoongi’s tone was clearly angry but gentle. “Fuck, Jimin, who did this to you?” He reached to brush a strand of hair out of Jimin’s face but he flinched away. “Oh,” Yoongi paused and moved away, “I’m sorry.” Jimin heard the pain in his voice but he couldn’t feel it. He wouldn’t.

Jimin ignored the look on Yoongi’s face. “Don’t wait for me anymore. I won’t be coming over again. I don’t want you to come to me either.” Jimin walked out and towards the coliseum but he was stopped by Yoongi’s gentle grasp.

“Wait! Jimin, please don’t walk away. What’s going on? Who did this to you?”

Pain shot down his entire arm as he tore Yoongi’s hand out of his grasp. “You did this to me.” He couldn’t keep the vitriol out of his voice. “I knew you would do this to me. I knew it but I stayed like the fool I was. I won’t be fooled again. Whatever we had ends here.” He ignored Yoongi’s protests as he all but ran to the colosseum and stripped his shirt, ready for his fight.

He remembered how violent he was that day. He had replicated all he saw in Jungkook and continued hurting his opponent even after he had stopped moving.

He remembered that rage every single time Woosung’s name was brought up.

February 18, 1993

Jimin had shared many uncomfortable dinners with Yoongi but he really wasn’t in the mood tonight. Yoongi was standing outside the restaurant, smoking before they shared a meal with their friends. He ran his scarred hand through his bright white hair and blew out a small puff of smoke. Yoongi’s skin was made paler under the overcast sky. The sky was dark with clouds threatening to pour down on them again for the fifth time today.

“Care to share?” Jimin stood next to him and looked out at the wet road. 

He didn’t miss the look Yoongi gave him as he dug the pack out from his pocket and tilted it in Jimin’s direction. Jimin couldn’t keep from staring at the large scar on Yoongi's left wrist.

Jimin shook his head. “I just want a drag.”

Yoongi blew out a large puff of smoke from deep within his lungs before handing his cigarette to Jimin with a shaky hand.

He didn’t really care for a smoke, he just wanted an excuse to interact with Yoongi. He took a small poisonous inhalation and handed it back. “Thank you.”

Yoongi raised a brow. “Since when do you smoke?” He placed the pack back in his pocket.

“It hasn’t been long, but it feels like it’s been forever.” Jimin sighed.

Yoongi nodded. “It’s easier to stop yourself from building a bad habit than breaking out of it. Stop while you can.”

Jimin hummed in agreement. “How do you know when to stop?”

“There’s always a moment where you think, ‘ah, I’ve been doing this more often now. I need to stop before it gets out of hand.’ That’s when you stop. It’ll take all of your willpower and self control and then some more to get rid of the habit if you keep going after that”

“What if that bad habit is the only thing that keeps you from going insane?” Jimin kicked at the floor.

Yoongi took one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out and tossing it into an ash bin nearby. Smoke left his mouth as he spoke. “I guess that’s why we have free will right? We get to choose which habits we keep, and which ones we let die. We should let the habits that hurt us die, regardless of whether they make us happy or not. We must die to ourselves so we can live.”

“What if I want to die trying to be happy?” He looked at Yoongi.

Yoongi looked back at him. His dark eyes were darker than ever and his soft tangerine lips were as bright as ever, guiding him towards them. Jimin had always felt nervous around Yoongi but he had felt the most nervous after their falling out. He still held onto hope that he and Yoongi could be together, even after all that had happened between them. He tried to be careful with his words most of the time but sometimes they got the better of him. Yoongi was always calm and rational. Yoongi was reasonable and kind where Jimin wasn’t. He envied him for that.  He was all that Jimin wanted and needed to survive. Sometimes he wondered if Yoongi ever felt the same, especially after the last time he came to his office.

When you’re ready, if you’re ever ready, I’d like to know you again

Jimin wanted nothing more than to step forward and close the distance between them.

Yoongi began speaking, “I–”

“Jimin!” RM exclaimed. “Did you wake up well this morning?” He ran up to Jimin and put an arm around his shoulders. “You almost blacked out last night. How much did you drink?” He said as he led them both inside.

Jimin stopped listening to RM and looked back at Yoongi as his friend guided him inside. He watched as Yoongi watched the cars on the street with a downcast expression. He wanted to hold his hand and tell him how much he missed him. That was until Woosung popped into his head. He turned his attention away from Yoongi and back to RM before heading inside.

Jimin didn’t eat much. He couldn’t. His interactions with Yoongi always left him feeling depressed. He couldn’t believe how much he still wanted a man who had cheated on him. Was it even cheating if they weren’t really together? He didn’t know but he felt hurt regardless. He felt pathetic for feeling that way especially since he had already known Yoongi would get tired of him eventually. He had always thought it would happen by the absence of his knuckles tapping on his door. He never expected him to sleep with another man the morning after spending the night with Jimin.

It didn’t help that Jin made a comment about them getting married. Jimin was certain there were a few grains of rice currently sitting in his lungs thanks to him. Getting married to Yoongi was never something that Jimin allowed himself to think about. He never thought Yoongi would stay long enough, let alone want him badly enough to be tied to him forever.

“Do you need a ride?” Yoongi asked him after dinner.

Not the kind you’re offering. “No, I’ll go back with Jin. Thank you.”

Yoongi nodded. “I’ll see you at the club then.”

Jimin nodded and walked away and towards Jin’s car.

He looked around for Jin only to find him walking towards Hoseok who was standing next to a bus stop. 

Curious, Jimin decided to approach them and stand around the corner to listen in.

Hoseok bowed once he realized Jin was approaching.

“Stop that. No need to be formal.” Jin laughed lightly without returning the bow. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. “Where are you headed?” He motioned to the bus tabloid with his chin.

“Seongbuk-gu. What about you?”

“Back to the club. I’m just here to talk to you.”

Hoseok didn’t seem surprised at all, but Jimin was.

Jin took his pack of cigarettes and offered one to Hoseok.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor?” Hoseok said as he refused.

“I'm supposed to be a lot of things.” He smirked with the cigarette between his lips. He took a deep drag before exhaling. “What should I be around you?”

Hoseok kept his composure. “Whatever you want to be.”

“Well then I guess I’m going to be honest today.” He grinned and dabbed some ash off his cigarette. He paused to take another drag of his cigarette. “You know you’re giving up your life by working for Taemoo right?”

He nodded. “Like you did?”

Jimin mentally flinched at that line. The only thing that kept him from lunging at Hoseok then was the fact that he said it like it was the truth rather than an insult.

Jin didn’t respond.

“I had a feeling it would work out that way.” Hoseok continued. “But I don’t care, I have someone I need to provide for.”

“So might as well throw your life away for someone who doesn’t have much longer left to live?” Jin put out his cigarette before tossing it into the bin.

The first hint of surprise touched Hoseok’s expression. “You still remember him?”

“You don’t forget someone like that. Besides, Jumunjin is a small place.”

“Well in that case, yes.” Hoseok responded.

“I’m guessing you’re here for the money then right?”

Hoseok shrugged. “Honest money isn’t enough sometimes. It’s not like the money I was making before was very honest anyway.”

“I can’t blame you. American healthcare is expensive.” Jin looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to help him.”

“We don’t blame you for anything. We’re just thankful you tried.” Hoseok’s bus arrived then. “I’ll see you around.”

They exchanged a small bow before Hoseok boarded the bus.

Jimin tiptoed back to the car around the corner, leaned on it, and mindlessly tapped buttons on his Nokia to make it seem like he had been waiting for Jin the whole time.

“Aren’t you a little too old to be eavesdropping?” Jin teased. “I’m sure Hoseok knew you were standing there the entire time.”

“Maybe I am.” Although Jimin had been caught, he wasn’t going to try to cover anything up. “Should I be concerned about anything?” He recalled Jin’s apology towards Hoseok.

“Nope. Where is Taehyung? We have to go back.” He opened the door to the car and jumped in.

“He left with the others. Said you were taking too long.”

Jin nodded and started the engine.

They rode in comfortable silence. The sky was completely dark now signaling the end of the day and the opening of the fight club that Jimin hated managing. He much preferred fighting in the ring for a few minutes and then being done for the night. Now he had to work the entire night and part of the day to make only a few million won more a month than he was making before. It wasn’t worth it to him.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have made a comment about you and Suga. I know you guys aren’t on the best terms.”

Jimin shrugged. “I shouldn’t have eavesdropped on you.”

“I think my comment went a bit further than eavesdropping.” Jin tapped on the steering wheel. He was visibly conflicted on whether he should speak or keep silent. He decided on the former. “Are things any better with you two?”

Jimin sighed. “I feel him slipping further away every day.”

“Is he slipping away or are you pushing him away?”

“Both.” Jimin admitted.

“Is this still about Woosung?”

“Partially.”

Jin sighed. “Jimin. You know Woosung has been after him for years. He’s a jerk who’d do anything to get what he wants. Suga would never betray someone he loves. I’ve known him since college. I have never seen him look towards anyone in a romantic manner until he met you. I can’t fit into my head how you could possibly believe he would ever be with anyone other than yourself.”

“You’re just telling me the same thing everyone else has been telling me. How can you guys be so certain? How can you know that he didn’t sleep with Woosung?” Jimin didn’t even have to think about his words. He had asked everyone the same question without ever getting a different answer than what Jin gave him next.

“How can you be so certain that he did? Did you see them together?”

“No.”

“Then what is it? You and I both know they didn’t sleep together so what is it? Why do you keep making excuses?” Jin stopped at the red light and turned to face Jimin. “What is keeping you from him?”

“I am.” The words came out shaky.

“What do you mean?” Jin’s surprise was clear in his tone and his posture. 

Jimin was barely holding his composure. Not only was he feeling regretful, he was also embarrassed. He was profusely ashamed about what he was about to tell his friend so much that he wanted to hide just like a child would.

Five years of pain, regret, and fear were about to start spilling out of Jimin.

“Oh Jimin, what did you do?” Jin stepped on the brakes as the light turned red.

“Something Yoongi will never forgive me for.”

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF MIN YOONGI

Yoongi’s first love was not Jimin.

There was one who had captured his heart and soul long before he knew what those were. One who called to him in his consciousness and in his dreams. Once whose image and voice never escaped his mind regardless of what was happening around him. 

March 19, 1964

The dark walnut grand piano in his living room was a lovely mystery to him. 

He did not know what it was nor what its purpose was but he couldn’t contain his curiosity. He decided it was time to find out one winter night, when everyone in the Min mansion was deep asleep. He had just dreamt of sitting at the bench in front of it and opening the fallboard but his dream did not let him see what was below it.

He walked along the cold black tile, barefoot, until he reached the large living room whose entire focus was the piano. Under it was an ornate dark red rug which matched the rest of the dark decor around the house. He walked on the rough fibers before reaching the piano’s bench.

He climbed on the dark leather bench the best he could, his legs too small to reach the seat, and sat facing the piano. It was as brown and as glossy as always, its mystery drawing the little Yoongi in.

He stood on the bench and reached forward to open the heavy fallboard but he wasn’t tall or strong enough to do so. He tried and tried, his little fingers turning red from the pressure on his fingernails, until the board finally began to lift. He pushed harder, hoping to push past the last few centimeters, but the bench slipped out from under him. He hit the ground hard, his mouth taking most of the impact. He began crying when he saw his reflection in the large floor to ceiling windows on his left. Blood ran down his soft chin and dripped onto the maroon rug below him.

His mother, exhausted from caring for three children, came running in a minute later. “Oh my baby! What happened!?” She got on her knees and sat Yoongi upright. “Daehyun! Daehyun, come quick!” She scooped the little Yoongi in her arms and wiped the blood off with her white silk nightgown to examine his face.

His father ran in soon after, scanning the room with his gun before his eyes landed on Yoongi’s bloody face. Yoongi began to cry louder.

His father sighed and placed the gun into his waistband. “Yoona, you scared the life out of me. I thought this was a real emergency.”

Yoongi and his mother both glared at him.

“This is an emergency.” She glared at him once more before returning her concerned gaze to Yoongi. “Stop crying my little angel, just for one minute. Let eomma see your precious little face.”

Yoongi nodded and stopped just long enough for his mother to give him a diagnosis. 

“Your lip tore open sweetheart. It’ll stop bleeding soon okay?” She assured him and pecked one of his plump cheeks.

Yoongi cried again immediately and put his arms back around his mother, laying his head on her shoulder.

She kissed the side of his head while he watched his father approach and kneel in front of him.

When Yoongi was a little boy, his father looked huge to him. He was as tall and as strong as a bear. Maybe even stronger. It wasn’t until he reached his father’s shoulders that he realized his father was just an average man, no stronger than any other although more intelligent and skilled.

He only looked like an angry bear now, one that wouldn’t harm him, but definitely one that frightened him. His father examined the scene briefly before questioning Yoongi in a soft tone. “What were you doing?”

Yoongi, afraid of being chastised, hid his face further into his mother’s robe.

“It’s okay honey, tell your appa what you were doing.” She kissed him again.

He shook his head into her shoulder, rubbing more blood on her pretty and soft clothes.

“Yoongi.” His father said sternly.

He recognized that tone. It was the one that was followed by punishment when it was not obeyed. Defeated, he pointed at the piano which now had its fallboard completely opened.

He felt triumphant only for a moment before realizing that he was still going to be chastised.

“What were you doing with the piano in the middle of the night?” His father asked, confused.

“Piano?” Yoongi tilted his head to the side.

“Yes, the piano.” His father pointed to it, clearly wanting to go back to bed as soon as possible.

“Pretty piano.” Yoongi pointed at it with him.

His mother pulled back to look at Yoongi. “Did you want to see what the piano does?”

Yoongi nodded.

His father laughed, a loud reverberating noise in the acoustic room. “You could have just asked, son. You didn’t have to do all of this in the middle of the night. Do you want your appa to show you?” His father’s eyes were as excited as Yoongi suddenly felt.

His father took him from his mother’s arms and sat him on his lap once he was seated at the bench.

“I’ll go grab something to clean his face.” His mother kissed them both before leaving the room.

Yoongi and his father looked at what was hidden under the fallboard, an infinite row of black and white ivory keys. Yoongi looked down at all the keys and recognized the instrument immediately. It looked similar to the red keyboard he dragged everywhere with him except it was huge and there were so many more keys than his little red toy. He wanted to know if it sounded the same so he reached forward to press a key.

His father put out a hand to stop him.

Yoongi began to squeal in frustration until he looked at the expression on his father’s face.

His brows were pulled together and his mouth sat in a straight line. “Wielding this instrument requires patience and a calm soul. You must not be too eager or greedy with it. It is a very fragile instrument. If you are too harsh with it you can damage it.” His father must have seen the confusion on Yoongi’s face. “You have to be gentle or it will break.”

Yoongi understood then and waited for his father to continue.

“You will not be good at the piano if you play it once or twice. You have to play it for a very very long time before you get good at it. Do you want to learn how to play the piano?”

“I want to hear it first.”

His father raised his brows. “That’s the most coherent sentence you have said so far.” He laughed. “Very well.” He cracked his fingers. “I’ll let you hear a song I like to play whenever I miss my parents.”

Song: Opus by Ryuichi Sakamoto

Yoongi fell in love as soon as the first key’s sound reached his ears. It sounded much much better than his little red keyboard. Not only because his father was playing an actual song, but the sound was much finer than the little toy he dragged around everywhere.

The sound of the gargantuan instrument was so beautiful he had forgotten all about how they had gotten there in the first place. He sat in silence as his father played the song. It was so quiet and soft. He felt the insides of his little body slowly soften and melt into the now warm leather bench. He didn’t know how it was possible to feel as warm as he did in the moment. He held his tiny hands close to his chest and curled up into a tiny ball next to his father, enjoying the gentle tune of the piano. It was so soothing that it made him want to fall asleep. He then closed his eyes, letting his hearing become the dominant sense in the moment before drowsily losing his grasp on it.

The sound was no longer there when he opened his eyes again. The sun was pouring in through the white curtains of his bedroom and his twin brothers were running in the hall. He quickly sat up and tapped his fingers on his little red keyboard but it sounded nothing like what his father had shown him last night.

He ran to his mother, sobbing that his toy was broken because it did not sound like appa. He wanted his father to come and play the piano for him again but much to his dismay his father had left for work. Yoongi refused to eat or sleep until his father got home. He sobbed from the moment his eyes opened until his father got home late that night. His mother had given up on him after hours of begging him to eat and left him alone, sitting on the bench of the piano, waiting for his father to come home.

Once his father came home, his mother came out of her bedroom quickly. The skin under her eyes was darker than it was that morning. “Will you please play him a song so he can eat something and go to sleep? Nothing I do or say can get him off that bench without him screaming. I know you’re tired but please Daehyun. Please.” She put her arms around his waist and settled her head in the center of his chest.

He returned her hug and whispered soothing words into her ears.

Yoongi suddenly felt guilty. He did not know his mother was so distressed nor that his father was so tired. He also did not know how he would get to hear the pretty piano again if his father would not play it for him.

He began crying again.

“Daehyun.” His mother pleaded.

“Go to bed. Leave me with him, I’ll tuck him in.” He kissed her softly on the lips before she nodded and walked away.

His father looked at him and sighed. “Have you been disobeying your mother today?” He asked, exhausted, as he took off his tie.

Yoongi stopped crying and climbed off the bench immediately, doing his best to hide behind it.

His dad walked over and squatted down next to him. He tilted his head and looked at Yoongi with curiosity. “Why are you hiding from me when you’ve been waiting for me all day?”

“Appa. Play piano please.” Yoongi poked a chubby arm out to point at the piano.

His father picked him up quickly and Yoongi yelped. He began softly biting his arms, legs and cheeks, while aggressively muttering things about him being so cute he could eat him. Yoongi laughed but he had not forgotten the objective of his mission. “Appa. Piano please.”

His father’s laughter died down and he smiled. “I will, but only if you promise not to do what you did today. You must always listen to your mother. If she tells you you have to wait until appa gets home then that’s what it is. Good piano players wait for their appa without disobeying their mother. Do you understand?”

“Yes appa.”

His dad smushed his cheeks together before kissing his forehead. “Very well then.” He sat Yoongi on his lap again. He grabbed one of his little chubby hands and asked him to hold up his index finger. “You are going to help me play the song from yesterday. You are going to press this key with your finger every time I say ‘go’. Can you do that?”

Yoongi held his finger up excitedly and nodded.

“Good.” His father smiled before smirking mischievously. “Go!”

His father was not yet playing the song so Yoongi took his time playing his first note on the grand piano. It sounded just as magical as it had yesterday, if not more. It was even more electrifying knowing that it was his finger that made that sound.

“Great job adeul. I’ll start playing now but the rules will be the same okay?”

Yoongi nodded and waited for his father’s cue. The note was being played at the same interval over and over so Yoongi got the hang of it quickly. 

He waited for his father every night so they could play the piano together. After a few nights, Yoongi no longer needed a cue. He knew exactly when he needed to press his key and when he did not. His father then added a second key and a third until Yoongi could no longer reach across the piano to play the entire song. His body was still too small to reach across such a large instrument so his father decided to teach him simpler songs which Yoongi could play independently.

Yoongi spent the rest of his days waiting for his father while practicing piano.

As he got older his life allowed him less time for practice. He eventually reached the age to attend school and began receiving private fighting lessons from his uncle Taemoo. He loved going to fight class with Taehyung, Yoonjae, and Yoojun, but the piano was always in the back of his mind.

The time came for his uncle Taemoo to leave for Jumunjin with his aunt Hari and his cousin Taehyung. He was glad he no longer had to train under the unpleasant man but was upset his beloved cousin was moving so far away. His father replaced Taemoo with four other instructors. A Gun Kata, Krav Maga, Tantojutsu, and a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master. 

All four men and women took up most of the free time Yoongi had left of his days. Despite all of the hurdles, he still made time to perfect the songs his father taught him and eagerly awaited the next new song. They got to a point where his father had run out of songs for him to play. He hired an instructor to teach Yoongi to play professionally but he wasn’t happy. He was going through puberty when his parents broke the news to him but it was more like the news broke him. He did not want anything to do with anyone that was not his father. The piano was their thing. He did not want someone to come in and intrude on something so intimate. Yet he could not imagine sitting stagnant at the skill level he was at now when he knew there was so much more he could do. He could feel his fingers itching to move towards new combinations of keys that he didn’t yet have access to.

He decided to take his learning into his own hands. He bought many books on piano and more music sheets than he knew how to read and improved on his own.

His skill improved to the point where he got into Seoul National University to play piano. Yoongi loved Daegu but he had to leave if he wanted to continue pursuing his first love. He had to get over his insistence to only be taught by his father if he was going to improve for there was only so much he could teach himself.

Yoongi’s skills soared from then on. It was satisfying to hear and feel his skills grow but it was even more satisfying to see the surprise on his father’s face whenever Yoongi brought a new song home to teach him. His father could not keep up at times, complaining that he was too old to do something so technical, yet he humored Yoongi every time. Yoongi was glad that he could come to the Min mansion whenever he pleased and could count on his father coming home from Seoul or Busan late at night so they could play together.

Tensions began to rise once King began demanding more power in the gang. Their father was tired of being the head of the Solar Lair. He had more than enough money to retire and live the rest of his life comfortably with their mother but he did not want to pass the club down to just anyone. Agust and Suga had no interest in taking over but King always had. He wanted to take over and likely destroy the place with his poor decision making skills. His father had always been very vocal about him wanting Suga to take over once he graduated college.

Yoongi had no interest in taking over but he would if he had to. His father had never denied him anything. He even allowed him to go to the most prestigious university in the country to get the most useless degree there. He felt like he owed it to his family so he would do it if he had to. 

After all, a career as a pianist was not going to pay the bills.

He was ready to let go of his first love to help the person he loved the most in the world but he had to say his farewell to it first. Yoongi had written one final song as a present to his father, the man who had shown him so much love in a world of violence. 

He titled it First Love.

Yoongi was set to begin shadowing his father in Seoul to prepare and take over the business only a few months after his graduation. His father would allow him to have the time off to mentally rest and prepare. It seemed like everything was going to go according to plan until the night of Yoongi’s graduation celebration at the Min mansion when he was supposed to play the song for his father.

King spiked his drink with something and tried to cut off his left hand while he was unconscious. Thankfully the pain allowed him to wake up enough to fight his brother off with his good hand. It stopped him from cutting off his entire hand but it didn’t stop him from permanently damaging it.

King was banished from the Min household and Yoongi’s left hand was rendered salvageable although he would never completely regain full fine motor function of his hand.

He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until he couldn’t sob anymore. He was absolutely inconsolable. He hated looking at the piano knowing that he could no longer use his hands to give it the life he always had. He hated listening to others play it and talk about it. He became extremely depressed and wondered why King hadn’t just killed him instead.

King had other plans of course. 

He sought refuge under the gang and hid deep within Hybe. Yoongi had left the piano against his will and joined the gang to find his brother, pushing his father’s retirement farther out than planned.

King was the king of deceit which made him impossible to find. Yoongi searched for a year until his brother decided to reveal himself in the most horrid way possible.

He returned to the Min mansion to murder their parents.

King stuffed the pieces of his father’s dead body into the piano and pinned his mother’s on the butcher’s block in the kitchen with her own knives.

He did it to hurt Yoongi and Yoonjae where it hurt the most, and it worked. Agust lost his mind and King lost his life in the process.

It was horrifying to see the man he loved the most torn limb from limb and stuffed into the dark brown piano, keys dripping with dark red liquid that seeped out from the inside. It eerily reminded him of the little red keyboard from his childhood. His mother’s image was just as horrifying as his father’s. She lay in the kitchen with every single knife in the knife block impaled into her body, pinned to the butcher’s block.

Yoonjae never got to see their parents the way Yoongi had and for that he would be forever grateful. The image was the most horrifying thing he could have imagined. Yoonjae was distressed enough after all of the deaths, he couldn’t imagine how he would have reacted to seeing their mother like that.

Yoongi had lost his hand, parents, and brothers all in the span of less than a year. He was so close to losing his mind that he set fire to the Min mansion in the process. The place which had once brought him the best memories of his life now brought him the worst. It was the palace which brought him the most pain and grief. He hated looking at the empty spot where the piano used to sit and the empty kitchen where his mother taught Yoonjae to cook. It was nothing but a building made of stone and wood without their parents. It was meaningless.

He burned the mansion to the ground and moved to Seoul with Agust once he was released from the behavioural health facility. They wanted to be as far away from Daegu as they could although it did not stop them from missing their parents. He couldn’t even play his father’s song on the piano to give him comfort.

Taemoo used their grief as an opportunity to steal Suga’s position, telling Mr. Bang he was not fit to manage the Solar Lair while he was in such emotional distress. He was likely right but he was nothing but a snake attempting to slither his way to the top.

It was how Taemoo came into power and how Yoongi ended up throwing the burnt remains of the Min grand piano into the ocean.

He looked out at the ocean now and wondered if some of those pieces would come floating back to him some day.

Song: Waiting For… by Uyama Hiroto 

The water on the coast of Jumunjin somehow felt more refreshing than the rest of the country. There was something nostalgic about sitting on a boat and staring out to the east where another world lay beyond the infinite vastness of the ocean. It was amazing to see how small and insignificant his worries were when compared to the enormity of the sea.

Suga took a long drag of his cigarette and looked out at a ship in the distance. The smell of fish was too much for him today so he was trying to cover it up as much as he could with his cigarette but it just ended up mixing together into one toxic scent.

Both his and Jin’s fishing poles tattered so he dropped his cigarette on the floor and put it out. Jin complained about Suga littering his boat with ash but he ignored him. Jin always reeled his line in faster, as Suga could not have the same secure grip on the pole as he did. The pollack Jin pulled out wasn’t the most impressive but it also wasn’t the worst thing he could have caught. Suga, in turn, caught a sardine.

He realized what was coming and sighed. Jin would never let him live this down.

“Look, the fishing crew is taking all of the good fish right now so leave me alone.” He defended himself and looked at the sardine in the eye before throwing it in the bucket. “I’m going to cook you alive later.”

Jin had laughed mercilessly but he couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t as bright as it normally was.

They were on Jin’s commercial fishing boat which he had inherited after his grandfather had passed away. There was a small crew on board catching all kinds of fish in their giant nets.  Jin had kept the boat and its staff and their wages. He only kept the same profit that his grandfather was making which was not very significant. He had given them a generous raise, he only asked the workers to maintain the boat in pristine condition at all times and use it to catch and sell fish as usual so they did. The men and women on board seemed to be honest people who were willing to work for the generous wages given to them. They were also loyal as they had worked for Jin’s grandfather while he was still living. The workers had loved the man almost as Jin did, glad to continue working for him even after his passing.

“What’s your goal in life?” Suga had asked Jin once they had taken a break to lean out over the rail at the very front of the boat. 

“Hm?” Jin shook the hair out of his face so the wind could push it back.

“What do you want the most in this world?” 

He didn’t hesitate. “To be free. I want to be free of all burdens and responsibilities. I want to be able to do whatever I want whenever I want without having to worry about anyone or anything.”

Suga looked over at the man who he befriended in college and tried to remember a time when the man had been truly free but he couldn’t remember anything aside from the year before he was taken. He had always looked so suffocated and miserable despite the uncaring facade he always put up. While Yoongi was battling with the piano Jin was wrestling with his parents. He wondered why such a lovely man like Jin’s grandfather was punished with having such a vile child like Jin’s mother. The woman demanded to have all say over Jin’s future, threatening the young man with financial insecurity every chance she could. Jin, being a mere child at the time, became terrified of being left homeless therefore he obeyed his mother’s every command despite despising every single demand. Suga felt Jin’s dreams of freedom were warranted and hoped that his friend would one day receive that mercy.

“What about you?” Jin continued. “Does your perfect future include Jimin?”

“No.” Suga responded seriously.  “I’m sick of this back and forth I have with Jimin. It’s so childish and immature.” He rubbed a hand over his face, “It’s like we’re on a dangerous seesaw but neither of us want to get off.”

Jin nodded. “You two are only hurting each other.” He looked out into the distance.

“I know,” Suga put both his hands out in front of him, exasperated. “I want to stay away but I can get rid of this feeling.” He rubbed at his chest.

“I’m concerned for you two.” Jin said seriously, his nose turning red under the cold air of the sea. “You guys have spent too much time going back and forth like this. You’ll probably end up hating each other.”

“I think we already do.”

“When did the real problems start? Before or after the Woosung incident.”

“Before.”

The first hint of surprise showed on Jin’s face.

“I wanted to commit to Jimin, but he didn't. He shut me out completely once Woosung told him we slept together.” Rage flickered inside him at the mere memory.

“Did you sleep with him?”

It was the first time anyone had asked him directly. He felt grateful that his friend never assumed anything. He simply asked the question that would get him the truth. “I didn’t, but the only person I want to believe that doesn’t.”

Jin nodded. “We all know you didn’t but I don’t think Jimin can ever believe you.”

“Why not?” His stomach churned.

“If you and I were together and Woosung told me you slept with him, I would believe him. Why would you settle for me? Why wouldn’t you go and sleep with another man who is more attractive and charming?” He shrugged.

“I would never do that to you. Besides, you’re a much better option than Woosung.” He winked.

Jin laughed. “My insecurity would say otherwise. Just like Jimin’s.”

“Insecurity?’ He scoffed. “You're easily the most handsome man on the planet. If you’re insecure then the rest of us have no chance.”

Jin was the most handsome man he had ever seen but he had watched him suffer for it. He was taken hostage by a man who became obsessed with his looks and now his freedom was even further from him than it had been when it was in the hands of his mother.

Jin laughed. “Rest of us? You clearly have no self awareness. Woosung practically drools every time he sees you, Jimin can’t let go of you, and even you and I have-“

“Don’t.” Goosebumps raised uncomfortably on his skin.

“What? You don’t remember our first time in college?” Jin smirked playfully but it didn’t reach his eyes. Nothing was reaching his eyes today.

“Don’t start.” Suga looked over the rail and found jumping into the sea more desirable than hearing what Jin would say next.

“You seemed really experienced for it to have been your first time. Tell me, was it really your first?” Jin teased and stepped closer to him.

Suga cringed and yelped in horror. “I get it!”

“It looks like you need to be reminded of the kind of effect you have on people. I can help you with that. Let me show you what I have learned since then. All I ask is that you do the same.” Jin licked his lips but he was having a hard time holding in his laughter.

Suga put his arms around himself to stop the chill arising on his skin as Jin leaned closer. “Aish! Stop!” He squealed when he felt Jin’s breath on his face.

Jin threw his head back and laughed as he leaned on the rail next to Suga. They laughed together as they thought over a time where they were both very curious and inexperienced. The affair was nothing but confusing although he did find much pleasure in having a man like Jin inside him at the time. The thought was nothing but appalling now. Not because Jin was unattractive, but because he was like a brother to him.

Their laughter died down as quickly as it began. Jin rested his head on his elbow. “Have you ever thought about how you would feel if you were in Jimin’s place? What if Woosung came up to you and told you he slept with Jimin? How would that make you feel?”

“I’d beat Woosung to a pulp and then ask Jimin if it was true before I thought about it too much.” He tightened his hands on the rail reflexively.

Jin laughed and slapped his back. “Ah, our Suga is as violent as always.” His tone was serious again. “What if Jimin said it wasn’t true?”

He shook his head and looked at the water below them. “I would believe it. Woosung is a piece of shit. He’d tell anyone anything if it meant he could manipulate them in whatever way he wanted to. He loves to fuck with people.”

“And if it was true?” Jin asked more quietly.

He felt his heart shrink at the thought. “I’d be afraid of what it had meant to Jimin. I would just ask him everything instead of just assuming.”

“Jimin never asked you if it was true?”

“No but he didn’t have to. I was honest with him before he could ask.” Yoongi had been more honest with Jimin than he had been with himself. He knew that the first night he had spent with Jimin would not be the last, but it wasn’t only the nights he wanted. He wanted to spend the morning, afternoon, evening, and night with Jimin. He wanted to speak to him and reveal himself to Jimin in every way possible. He revealed himself every time he had the opportunity. He never beat around the bush nor made Jimin guess how he was feeling. He was always honest with Jimin but the man he loved never believed him.

In a way he felt regretful for having exposed so much of himself to someone he knew he was not going to spend the rest of his life with. Maybe being too honest was what drove Jimin away in the first place. Maybe it was the reason why he had slowly become so emotionally frigid yet just as physically attached. Had Yoongi revealed too much of himself to Jimin? Did he open a door that showed Jimin something he did not want to see?

Jin’s voice brought him back to the boat. “You must love him a lot for you to still be hanging onto him after all these years.”

“I don’t know if you can call it love at this point.” Suga sighed and changed the subject, too emotionally exhausted to continue unpacking his fallout with Jimin. “What about you? Is there anyone on your radar?”

He didn’t expect his friend to become so quiet. “What if there was? Would that be wrong?” Suga glanced at him to examine his face. His eyes were hopeful although the expression on his face was mostly void of emotion.

Suga tried to hide his shock as much as he could. From what he knew, the man had never entertained anyone as a romantic partner since being stolen by Taemoo. He wondered when and who his friend could have become interested in, although he had an idea as to who it might be. “Maybe dangerous, but not wrong. You’re allowed to be in love. As long as…” He stopped himself, knowing how much he would have hated to point out the giant problem to his friend.

“As long as Taemoo doesn’t find out, right?” Jin gripped the rail so hard he thought the metal would bend. “Why does that fucker have so much control over my life? When did I let things get like this?”

“Stop blaming yourself.” He said as sternly as he could. “Taemoo is threatening you with Taehyung’s life. What are you supposed to do?”

Jin had confessed to Suga long ago that the only reason he hadn’t risked his life to escape was because Taemoo had threatened to kill Taehyung if he tried. No one but he and Suga knew the real reason he could never leave and Jin wanted to keep it that way so Taehyung didn’t do anything crazy.

Jin sighed as they looked out at the vast network of fishing nets. Suga thought of all of the fish that were being dragged up to the surface against their will and the fate they would face once they had been hauled onto the boat.

Jin’s fate had not been much different.

Jin’s tone was concerningly hopeful. “If there was a way out of all of this, would you take it?” 

“What do you mean?” He asked cautiously.

“I’m telling you this because I trust you with my life and I think you should know.” Jin tightened his grip on the rail. “The police have someone in the Solar Lair working undercover. Maybe they will take this place down and burn it to the ground along with Taemoo.” 

Suga could no longer hide his surprise. “A mole!? What-? Who-? How did you find out?”

“It doesn’t matter. If you knew who the mole was, would you keep their secret and let them take this whole thing down?” Jin asked seriously, as if Suga’s answer would decide his own.

“I would.”

Jin’s expression didn’t change although his grip on the rail lightened for a second.

Suga continued, “If this was all gone, we would all be free. My brother could go back home. RM could become a writer. Jimin could dance. Jungkook could become famous. Taehyung could become an artist. Hoseok wouldn’t have to kill people anymore. You could be free. I would finally be at peace.” Suga let himself imagine a life where he could be no one other than Min Yoongi. He imagined himself making music in a small studio at home and reading books whenever he pleased. He imagined himself laying in his bed and sleeping whenever and for as long as he wanted. He let himself taste the freedom in his mind before deciding to fight for it. “I dream for the eight of us to be together until we die.”

“Till death do us apart.” Jin said absentmindedly.

Yoongi hummed and nodded. “Till death do us apart.”

********

THE DAYS OF JACKSON WANG

The chief was going to drive Jackson absolutely insane. 

He had so many demands yet he never gave him any extra resources nor extra pay. He did not know how he was going to meet the chief’s demands other than obtaining divine intervention through prayer. Every time the chief demanded something new of him he prayed about it and moved on. Somehow things were moving alone just fine but this one thing, this one thing was not.

God, you’re God, can you please change Your will so this problem can go away? Please? He laughed at himself after his small prayer, knowing God’s will was better than any will he could ever dream up of, even if it was not the easiest.

Jackson did not understand why he was the one that had to meet with all of those who had been blackmailed by Kim Taemoo. They were all high profile celebrities, business people, and politicians. This was the kind of audience that should have been put in front of the chief, not Jackson.

The chief of course, did not have any answers for these people which is why he was not going to show his face. He usually spent his time in his office doing nothing other than flirting with his absolute idiotic secretary. She spoke with the most obnoxious voice and used the most generic lines on the chief. She was someone that no one with a shred of dignity would dare to become. 

Trash. 

She was someone who was willing to stoop as low as she could to get what she wanted. On one end he admired it and on the other he completely looked down on it. There were only so many people that would do anything to get what they wanted. Yet he still didn’t understand. What good is an Hermes bag if you have to go suck some old fat guy’s dick beforehand? Baffling, truly. There was nothing you could offer Jackson to go that low.

Jackson had a shitty job that could have better pay but it allowed him to afford all he needed. He had a nice apartment and a warm bed to sleep in every night. His wife was healthy, warm, clothed, fed, and pregnant. Although they did not have the kind of money for luxuries, they lived comfortable lives with enough money left over for emergencies. He had everything he needed and more. To ask for anything else would make him greedy and ungrateful.

He just hoped they would have enough when his baby was born.

The shitty secretary handed him the list of people that would be attending the meeting ten minutes before it was scheduled to begin. It would have been nice to have the list a week in advance but it meant nothing to him now. He took it from her hand and tossed it in the shredder next to her as she watched. Whatever preparations he had done beforehand had to be enough because people were starting to fill up the conference room.

The more people showed up the louder the room got. He could hear them from the other side of the wall where his office was. They complained about their careers being in danger and they were all prepared to blame Jackson for it since he was the one in charge of taking the gang down.

He had to stand in front of another audience, yet again, and speak to them while hiding something from them. He opened his medicine drawer and took an antacid to calm the burning feeling rising to his throat.

He made his way to the room one minute before the meeting began. Their voices rose louder once he walked in. They began to demand things of him and accuse him of things all while he walked to the front of the room quietly. He tuned them all out, knowing that they would all leave the room just as angry or maybe even more angry than when they came in. The way they reacted to their mistakes was their problem. He had completely dissociated himself from any fault as soon as he stepped in the room knowing he couldn’t walk into the room and offer apologies. Fixing their mistakes was not his priority. They likely expected him to erase all of their mistakes like they often did for their spoiled children but he was not their father nor they his children. 

He was the law and they were the law breakers. They must answer to him.

He knew he could not control the room so he would not try. He would let things flow as God wished them to.

“Thank you all for coming today.” He said in a normal tone while they all continued yelling. He continued speaking in a normal tone but no one lowered their voice. He wasn’t saying anything of importance yet. He just continued saying nonsense until they all realized they wanted to hear what he had to say for them to shut up and listen. It took them five minutes, but they silenced themselves nonetheless.

“I believe you are all here because you have been blackmailed by Kim Taemoo. You’re likely wondering how we can make this all go away and how much you have to pay us to do it. Well I have some good news and bad news. Good news, your money is being put to good use. Bad news, we don't have a way to help you yet.”

The room erupted into chaos again.

“Quiet!” He yelled. “What do you think we are? Your mommy and daddy? You want us to clean your mess just like you clean your kid’s messes? Give me a fucking break. We’re the APC gang unit. Our job is to take down criminal organizations and you all are stopping me from doing that by wasting my time with this fucking meeting. I could have used this time to find a lead that will lead me to the place where Taemoo keeps his blackmail material and confiscate it. There wouldn’t be any blackmail material in the first place if you all hadn’t gone to those illegal businesses. You are the problem! You are what is in the way between us and your mess. You can either wait for us to take this all down or you can stop paying the gang and just leave your dirty laundry out in the open. You rich people are fucking ridiculous.”

At least that’s what he wanted to say.

“Quiet!” He yelled. “I hear your concerns. We are doing everything we can to get the situation under control. For now, we advise you to refrain from visiting any kind of club to avoid creating new blackmail material. We are currently working on a new lead that will bring us closer to the takedown of the gang.”

“Is the falldown of the gang really in our best interest? What if Taemoo decides to release everything once he has been caught?” The chairwoman of an entertainment company asked.

“He won't. If the gang falls down and he somehow manages to escape, the tapes will be all he has left to earn money. He would need to communicate with all of you for that to happen. Once he does we can track him down and catch him. It’ll be a lot easier for us to catch him if we have your full cooperation. The blackmail material he uses against you is enough to use as evidence for us to catch him but I understand no one wants to hand over any of the footage correct?”

The room was silent.

“Your freedom is in your own hands. There is only so much we can do on our end. We will continue doing our best and making sure every won you all cooperate is going towards bringing the gang down. Thanks to you all, we have been able to invest in new technology to help us gain better access into his club and all of the clubs. With this we have become closer to taking down the gang than ever before. We rely on your cooperation and you are counting on us to do our jobs. Let’s help each other and understand that we are all in a tough place.”

Jackson answered a few more questions of low caliber before the meeting was over. His audience began slowly leaving the room. Some felt helpless while others were angrier than when they first walked in. He expected it all, even the woman who refused to leave the room.

“How is my son?” She asked stoically. The woman was pretty, likely no older than fifty, and identical to her son. Her skin was pristine as was her hair and dress. She looked as regal and as visually stunning as her son did. There was nothing remotely wrong with her appearance but her aura was another story.

This woman had never given Jackson the impression of a mother. She was not warm nor kind. She did not have any patience nor empathy. There was nothing about her that would have led him to believe she was a mother. He was sure her son felt the same way about her. She was cold and robotic, just like the unhappy wife of a powerful man would be. The thing that was different about her was that she was the one with the power.

Jackson had a picture of her son in his jacket pocket. He had placed it there knowing she would likely sit there and ask the same question she always did every time she showed up to the station. He sat down in front of her and placed the picture in front of her. She looked at it with the same stoic expression. “When was this taken?”

“Last week.”

“I see. You are still working on a way to get him out before the takedown, right?”

“Yes ma’am. We have planned it out already. It’ll take us a few months to-”

The first bit of emotion appeared on her face. “Months? I don’t pay you the sum I do for you to take months to do your job.”

Jackson’s patience was running low. “I can always expedite your order. If you don’t want him alive I can bring him to you today. Tomorrow at the latest. A few of my agents will die in the process too. Are you okay with that?”

“Don’t get smart with me. I need him out of there now before his image is more stained than it already is.” She spat through her teeth.

Jackson laughed. “Ma’am with all due respect, he’s already as broken as he could be. If I am being honest, he is past the point of no return. He has done, seen, and been through things that I will not tell you of to save you from nightmares. You’ll have to pull all of your strings to try and clear up his image when he gets out regardless of when it happens. Nothing you can do now will erase all that has happened to him there. Give us time and let us bring him to you alive when the time is right.”

Jackson didn’t know if his vision was failing him but he thought he saw her eyes water as she looked down at the picture. “Can I take this with me?” She tapped a perfectly manicured nail on her son’s picture.

“It is considered evidence. I have to place it back into his file.”

She nodded and picked up her bag. “You know where to reach me if you have anything to report.”

“Yes ma’am.” He bowed and waited until the sound of her heels was inaudible before he got back up.

The man in the picture wasn’t hard to find but they wouldn’t know how hard he would be to pluck until they got a hold of their agent again. Their agent was continuously sending intel in but it was practically impossible for the APC to send him anything in case someone got curious and decided to peek at his mail. They would have to wait for him to set up a meeting with Jihyo so he could update them.

For now, all he could hope for was that their target survived long enough for them to save him.

********

THE BEGINNING OF THE DAYS OF PARK JIHYO

Song: Showtime ft. DeVita by Gray

The relentless taps of the raindrops on the roof of the car didn’t allow Jihyo to hear his approach although she had seen him a hundred meters away through her rearview mirror.

The sound of the rain became louder once he opened the door and sat in the passenger seat with a loud squeal of shoes against the rubber mat on the floor. His soaked clothes were likely soaking the upholstery of the car but Jihyo didn’t care. It wasn’t her car after all.

Despite them being in the safety of the car, he didn’t pull the wet hood off of his head nor did they exchange any unnecessary greetings.

He looked down at the dark stains on his hands through dark thick rimmed glasses which sparkled blue under the light of the radio on the dash. He wiped his hands on his soaked pants before revealing the folder he had kept dry under his jacket. It was tightly packed with papers, photographs, and tapes that would aid in their takedown of Hybe.

“It’s not enough.” His voice was deeper than it normally was yet it kept its kind human tone regardless.

Jihyo was always relieved whenever she heard his gentle voice. He had been undercover for so long that she feared his kindness would be lost in the brutality of the gang. She was convinced that something had broken inside him all of those years ago. He had been traumatized by the things he had been forced to see and experience and had to cope with them alone. It was one of the reasons why she was trying her best to take down the gang.

To end his suffering.

She quickly and conspicuously placed the folder between the seat and the center console before taking his wet hood between her hands and turning his head to face her. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin through the heavy wet fabric of his hoodie.

A bright strike of lightning, introduced by a deafening boom of thunder, allowed her to see his beautiful face.

Jihyo could never get used to his eyes on hers regardless of how many times they looked at her. It was almost impossible to believe anyone in the gang could believe that he was anything but a kind and gentle person. Her chest ached with the desire to protect him. She wanted to hold him close and shield him from all of the evil of the world like she would a sibling.

His eyes were kind but tired. The dark circles under his eyes were darker than the last time they had met and his skin had lost its glow. He was ashen and his full lips were slightly purple from the cold.

He blinked in surprise when she swiped away the rain that had dripped onto his face. She brought him close to her to embrace him, so close that anyone looking from the outside would think they were two lovers meeting in secret.

“Anything you bring is of help. Thank you.” She whispered as she pressed her cheek on his. She held him close, ignoring the way her own clothes became drenched with his.

He flinched before relaxing and letting himself fall into the hug. 

He hugged her back tightly although not as tightly as he has done before. He had become more and more distant the past few months so much so that she worried he was losing himself to the gang. She worried for him like a sister who was waiting for her older brother to return from war.

The hug they shared now was a way to disguise themselves. Anyone looking from the outside would believe that they were nothing but two lovers meeting secretly under the veil of the rain. He would have never gotten into the car if he thought he was being followed and Jihyo would have never remained parked if she thought she was being watched, yet you could never be too careful. They were both great at hiding, but they were not perfect.

She rubbed a hand soothingly on his back but stopped when he flinched and pulled away. He pulled his hood further over his head and examined their surroundings.

He spoke quietly, as if there were someone else in the car that could have heard them. “Bang doesn’t know about the tapes that killed his son. Taemoo sent someone to kill Lee Lim before Bang could interrogate him. He sent his men to kidnap another member of the brothel, one conveniently named Lee Lim and handed him to Bang, claiming he was the one responsible. Bang thinks his son was avenged. I don’t think Bang will look at Taemoo now.”

Jihyo gasped quietly. “That explains a lot, but that sounds too elaborate to have been planned by Taemoo.”

“Because it wasn’t. I wrote down everything I know in the file I handed you.” 

She looked down at the folder. “I also have something for you. The chief gave Jackson a new assignment for you.”

He didn’t move or speak. Only waited patiently for her response.

“There’s a man he wants you to remove from the gang before we take it down.”

“Remove?” He stiffened slightly.

“I would say rescue, but I heard the chief is being paid to hand him over.“ She slipped the image of the man into the inner pocket of his coat. She felt his cheek grow colder against her skin. “Do you know him?”

He pulled away from her and snuck a glance of the image in his pocket. His body trembled with fury. “Why do they want him?” His teeth were clenched.

“The chief won’t tell us, all we know is that very powerful people need that man in their possession.”

“From one prison to another. How is this any different than human trafficking? I thought the APC caught criminals, not aided them.” He ground his teeth.

“He has a better chance of living if he-“

“I know. I’ll do my best.” He clenched his jaw tightly. 

“I know you will.” She stroked the back of his wet hood. “Hurry home before someone recognizes you.”

He kept his gaze on her cheek once they had pulled away. She knew what he was looking at but she only shook her head and motioned for him to leave. He gave her an apologetic gaze before pulling his hood further over his face and walking back the way he came.

THE END OF THE DAYS OF PARK JIHYO

========

February 18, 1993

“Thank you… Yes… I love you too,” Hoseok sighed and his voice cracked, his eyes drowning with sorrow, “I love you the most… I’ll come back, I promise… I love you so much, bye. ” Hoseok placed the phone back on the landline.

Hoseok stared at the bed in his small apartment.

The room was dark, lit only by the moonlight that penetrated through the thin white curtains that veiled the kitchen window. There was not much to see in the room other than a small outdated kitchen, a small wardrobe, a bed, and Hoseok.

Half of the young man’s face was lit by the moon while the most scarred half hid in the shadows of the room.

His eyes were open and watching the moon, yet his mind was likely elsewhere as he was not blinking. He looked at the clock which signaled it was almost an hour until midnight. The movement of his head caused a small metallic sound to spawn around his neck. Hoseok’s hand reached up to his neck immediately to feel under his collar.

His body deflated immediately and he closed his eyes. “What did you do?” He groaned. “What am I about to do?”

He walked to the bathroom and touched up his hair. He reached for his collar but hesitated and moved his hand back to his hair. He checked his complexion in the mirror before heading out again, his dark eyes lingering over the large red scar on his face.

His eyes were not the only ones that traced the scar.

Almost every single person he walked past stared at him yet he ignored them all. He rode the bus silently although everyone stared at him the second he boarded. A small girl turned over in her seat to stare at him while her father was busy reading the newspaper.

Hoseok smiled at her kindly but her eyes never left his scar.

“Mister, what happened to your face?” She asked sincerely.

Her father turned around quickly to see who his daughter was speaking to. He turned her around quickly and quietly explained she was being rude but the girl insisted.

“It was an accident. I got hurt doing something my appa told me not to do.” Hoseok said in a friendly tone. “Listen to your appa so you don’t get hurt. Okay?”

“Okay.” She said shyly before turning around and pressing her face into her father’s arm.

The gentleman turned around and gave him a small bow along with an apology.

Hoseok bowed back and smiled, stating the apology was unnecessary. He returned his gaze to the window where his posture became tense and his eyes became impatient.

Once he reached the Solar Lair, he walked directly to the hall that hid the elevator but stopped himself once he was halfway there. He sat at the bar instead and ordered a drink from Jun. Hoseok looked around then. His eyes found Yijeong and Suga at the turntables but Hoseok looked uninterested in what he saw. He examined the dance floor and the balcony above him yet it did not seem like he had found what he was looking for.

He sat there for an hour, his drink untouched, looking around the club for someone or something. He stared at the hall that led down to the elevator for a long moment before chugging his glass of liquid courage and making his way toward it.

Once he was cleared by security, he went downstairs and walked right past the coliseum, through the maze of halls, and directly to Taehyung’s office.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door twice yet there was no answer.

He waited a long moment, hands shaking at his sides while he waited, but there was no one in the room to answer the door. He walked over to Jimin’s office and stood next to RM, examining the disturbing screens with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“Are you looking for something?” RM asked as he clicked through the feed.

Hoseok put a hand on RM’s shoulder. “Taehyung.”

“I don’t think he’s here.”

Hoseok tensed and his face dropped. “What? Where is he?”

“Let me see if I can find him.” RM clicked out of the camera feed he was watching to expose the feed of all the cameras in the club. “What do you need him for?” He asked as he scanned the computer screens.

Hoseok furrowed his brows as he searched with him. “I need to ask him something.”

“Do you want me to call him?”

“No.” Hoseok said immediately.

RM turned his head to look at the panicked Hoseok.

Hoseok cleared his throat. “No, I’ll just talk to him tomorrow. Thanks.” He adjusted his tie and began walking away when RM called him back.

“I found him.”

Hoseok turned and his eyes glowed. “Really? Where is he?” He scanned the screens but did not find him.

RM simply smiled and pointed at Hoseok’s temple. “He’s running around in there.”

Hoseok deflated and rubbed a hand over his face. “Look I really need to-”

RM looked behind Hoseok and smiled. “Hey Tae!”

“It’s not funny.” Hoseok began protesting.

“Hi hyung.”

Goosebumps rode on the back of Hoseok’s neck.

Taehyung’s voice was hopeful. “Hoseok? I thought Suga dismissed you?” He stood in front of RM’s desk to look at Hoseok, who had not moved since the instant he heard Taehyung’s voice.

RM covered his smile with his hand and rested his elbow on his desk.

Hoseok cleared his throat and looked up at the confused Taehyung. He composed himself and donned an apathetic tone and expression. “Yes, he did but I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Taehyung’s hopeful eyes never left Hoseok’s. “Of course. Let’s go to my office.”

“Thank you.” He said as he followed Taehyung to his office. “I knocked earlier but there was no answer.”

Taehyung looked down at his golden watch. “I apologize, I was in the vault doing some inventory. I wasn’t going to hear you while I was there.” His eyes held a hint of a smile as he looked back at Hoseok and unlocked the door to his office. He motioned Hoseok in while turning on the warm lamps in the room. “Have a seat.”

The two sat across from each other at the large mahogany desk. Hoseok’s skin held a golden glow as the warm light from the lamp enveloped his face. There was nervousness trapped in his tense shoulders although his face held its usual indifference.

On the other hand, Taehyung's eyes were bright and expectant as they watched Hoseok. “What is it?” He asked.

Hoseok leaned forward slightly, keeping his eyes on the desk and his hands twisted in his lap. He reached into his collar and pulled out a delicate gold chain with a golden sun hanging off of it. He furrowed his brows looking confused and embarrassed all at once. “When did you put this on me?”

“Do you like it?” Taehyung asked expectantly, eyes glowing under the light.

Hoseok reached up to begin undoing the chain but Taehyung grabbed his wrist to stop him. Taehyung’s face deflated to the point where Hoseok watched him with pity.

“You don’t want it?” Taehyung asked with the eyes of a child who was being rejected.

Hoseok put his hands back on the desk and Taehyung let go of his wrist. It was clear Hoseok was struggling with his emotions in the way he struggled with his words. “There is no reason for you to give me anything. I cannot accept it.” Hoseok reached for the clasp again but stopped when he met Taehyung’s pitiful eyes.

“I did not steal it if that’s what you are concerned about. I went to a jeweler and had it made for you. Please accept it.” He said with innocence.

Hoseok chuckled lightly. “Why do I feel like I’m being manipulated right now?”

Taehyung leaned back, concern in his expression. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok looked down at the pendant. “You make it so difficult for me to say no, so please don’t get so close to me. I don’t want to say yes to you.” He shook his head.

Taehyung did not lose his serious composure. Instead, he leaned forward and looked into Hoseok’s eyes, which did not look at him. “I cannot control my desire to be close to you. I cannot choose to turn it on or off as I please. I cannot pull the idea of you out of my mind nor can I find it easy to stay away from you.”

Hoseok continued staring at the desk although the back of his neck and the tips of his ears reddened. “You can’t say things like that to me.”

Taehyung sat back, eyes serious. “Does hearing that make you uncomfortable?”

Hoseok looked up at Taehyung with bright eyes. “It makes things difficult.” He sighed and rubbed his face with his palms. “You make everything so difficult Taehyung.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok spoke quickly. “Every look and word from you makes my life more difficult. You’re tempting me into something I know is not good for me nor is it good for you. If you continue tempting me I will be forced to leave this place if I cannot resist.”

Taehyung’s mouth opened lightly. “The last thing I would ever want is to lose you again, so please resist because I don’t think I can ever stop feeling this way.” He almost pleaded.

Hoseok watched Taehyung with longing. “You don’t understand. My self control is stretched to its thinnest point when I am with you.”

The two had leaned forward so far during their conversation that their faces were only inches apart.

There was a knock at the door.

The two men leaned back and straightened out their jackets as Yang Yijeong entered, bag of money in hand. “I’m here to deliver, is this a bad time?”

Taehyung took a breath. “No, come on in.”

Hoseok stood, pulling his chair out for Yijeong to sit. “Will I see you tomorrow Taehyung?” He said expectantly.

“Yes. We’ll see each other tomorrow.” Taehyung promised.

“Good night to you both.” Hoseok stood and bowed, his light gray suit wrinkling with the motion.

As Hoseok stepped out of the office he pulled out the pendant that Taehyung had secretly placed around his neck and turned it over to reveal the engraving on the back.

To the one who shines brighter than the sun.

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF KIM TAEHYUNG

Hoseok had been the only thing on Taehyung’s mind since the day he had arrived at the club. In fact, he had been the only thing on his mind for the past ten years. Taehyung could never and would never forget the time he spent with Hoseok all of those years ago. He still remembered how soft Hoseok’s hands felt and how warm his skin was. He remembered how bright his smile was and how genuine his laugh was. It was something that was not only ingrained into his mind, but into his body. He felt like he could still feel Hoseok’s warm palm on the back of his neck and his soft lips on his own. He could still see the glints of the sun in his eyes and hear his kind voice glide into his ears.

Taehyung could still hear his own voice echo with the promise to find Hoseok again. He could still hear his own protests once he was dragged to Seoul before he could find Hoseok.

Hoseok’s recent arrival had been a beacon of hope for Taehyung which the former had extinguished at the first opportunity and reignited not too long ago.

He now watched the back of Hoseok’s head as he sat in the back of Yoongi’s car and remembered the words Hoseok had so painfully said only a few days ago.

You don’t understand. My self control is stretched to its thinnest point when I am with you.

He wanted to ask Hoseok what he meant. He wanted to know if Hoseok was just as infatuated with him as he was, but he did not want to push him any further. He did not want to give Hoseok a reason to leave when he had finally found him.

It was painful to be so close to Hoseok but not be able to have him. Hoseok had been nothing but professional but Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from making subtle advances. He was going to clearly confess to Hoseok at some point, but he just couldn’t find the right moment, or the courage.

Taehyung continued staring at the back of Hoseok’s neck, looking for a glint of gold from the necklace that he had gifted him. He thought he had seen awe in Hoseok’s eyes when he first looked down at the piece of jewelry but Taehyung was concerned he was only seeing what he wanted to see. His eyes searched further but the collar of Hoseok’s blazer was too high for Taehyung to see anything.

Song: Guap by Yaeji

Hoseok must have felt him staring. He looked at Taehyung quickly through the passenger side mirror before returning his attention to Suga.

Taehyung couldn’t help but tense at the eye contact. It was nothing but unexpected as Hoseok always managed to avoid Taehyung’s gaze. There was something different in his eyes every time he looked at them. Sometimes it felt like Hoseok was telling him to back off. It had felt like that when Taehyung had leaned on the bar counter and tried his best to fluster Hoseok by looking deep into his eyes. It had seemed to have the opposite effect which left Taehyung disappointed for the rest of that night.

Other times, Hoseok’s eyes looked like they still thought about all they had once shared. They had looked like that when he looked down at the engraving on the back of the pendant. Those were Taehyung’s favorite pair of eyes.

The eyes he received now were full of nothing. Hoseok was looking at the road now, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. Suga had been chatting the entire time in the front seat to Hoseok about who knows what. It was likely a rundown of how the collection process went since it was Hoseok’s first time accompanying them to Woosung’s.

They’d collected from Seungkwan’s, Soonyeong’s and Seokmin’s clubs without any trouble. It was more than unlikely they would have the same experience with Woosung. Every experience with Woosung was guaranteed to be a negative one. Woosung had an excuse for being unpleasant towards Taehyung but he did not have one for Hoseok yet he knew he would still be unpleasant even if Mr. Bang had entered the club with them. It was as if Woosung couldn’t contain himself from being so off putting.

“The owner here is very…” Suga paused before undoing his seatbelt, “eccentric. Don’t let anything he says get to you, and he will say many things to you. You’re mostly here as an intimidation factor, but you will have to fight back anyone who gets in the way of us and the money if needed. As I’ve told you before, Taehyung has almost been murdered on one of these runs, so stay focused.” Suga shut off the car’s engine near The Solar Lair in Itaewon.

The dark red neon sign lit up the entire street and the faces of the people waiting in line, mostly foreigners. The place was as loud on the inside as it looked on the outside. The boom from the speakers inside the building gave the car windows a gentle shake.

The music was even louder as they stepped outside.

Hoseok did the buttons on his black jacket as soon as he stepped out, the silver scars on his hands shining red in the light. His hair was styled carefully as always to one side with a few strands of his bangs hanging over his left brow. His chin was lifted high as he put his hands in the pockets of his pants. Unfortunately, Hoseok looked too comfortable in their current environment. He looked almost as if he belonged, especially when Suga stood next to him.

Suga wore a full light gray suit, his silver hair slicked back into a neat style. His jewelry reflected off the red light of the neon sign into Taehyung’s eyes. His brow pulled into concentration before he spoke. “There’s a lot of people today. It makes it harder to spot any potential thieves. Don’t discount any foreigners, they’re just as likely to rob us as anyone else.”

Taehyung joined them with his brown leather bag in hand before walking inside. The bouncers didn’t look at them twice before stepping out of the way to let them inside. The people in line began protesting, but one look from Suga was all it took to get them to quiet down.

The bass was unbearably deep upon entering, so much that Taehyung felt like his heart rate was going to sync up with the music. The swaying bodies packed into the large room reeked of sweat and desperation. People pressed their bodies against each other in desirous motions over and over until Taehyung was nauseated. It was almost embarrassing to watch how desperate for attention they all were. Hoseok didn’t look fazed at all. He walked as if there was no one around, as if the music wasn’t overwhelmingly loud, as if he wasn’t being shoved in a hundred different directions. Hoseok ignored it when a drunk rammed into him and pushed him into Taehyung who was following closely behind. He didn’t bother to turn around and check on Taehyung. He simply continued walking as if nothing had happened.

Taehyung made a sound of irritation that was drowned out by the music. He stared at the back of Hoseok’s head so intensely that he wondered if he could feel it. It looked as if goosebumps had risen on the back of Hoseok’s neck which was tinted dark pink under the club’s LED lights.

Suga led the way under the neon lights with Hoseok and Taehyung following behind until they reached the familiar hall that led them to the brothel. Escorts danced around poles until they were won at auction and taken back to a room by a customer.

“Wow, so pretty. How much for a night?” A disgusting old man smiled with four teeth and reached out to touch Suga as they walked by but he caught his hand before he could actually make contact. Suga violently bent the man’s wrist back before glaring at him. “Don’t fucking touch me you decaying piece of shit.” He snarled.

The geezer threw back some insults and reached for him again before Suga pounded a fist into his skull leaving the imprint of his rings behind. Suga shook his hand lightly before adjusting his rings. 

The man dropped unconscious but they just went on their way before announcing their arrival to Hajoon who stood by the door to Woosung’s office.

Hajoon looked behind them at the man on the ground, “I’ll have to report this.”

Suga raised a brow and gave him a ridiculing look, “Please do.” He laughed mockingly. “What an obnoxious piece of shit.” He said once Hajoon turned his back to go inside. The words were clearly meant for Hajoon’s ears. Suga had never gotten along with the man and Taehyung understood why. He had always been an unlikeable character and Suga’s differences with Woosung didn’t make it any better.

Hajoon cursed at him before closing the door behind himself.

Woosung came out shortly after, welcoming them all too warmly inside his office and dismissing Hajoon.

“We’re here to collect.” Suga said firmly.

Taehyung caught Woosung staring at Hoseok which reminded him of the urge he had of getting him as far away from this world as possible. He wanted to stand in front of Hoseok to shield him from Woosung’s eyes, but it was too late.

“Whoa.” Woosung’s eyes and mouth widened in wonder. “Who do we have here?” He stepped forward and walked towards Hoseok.

Taehyung stopped himself from standing in front of Hoseok to block Woosung’s view and spoke instead. “He’s collecting with us now. Hand over the money.”

“Hm. With those legs,” Woosung circled around Hoseok, “and that face,” He ran a finger along Hoseok’s jaw. Hoseok shook it off. Woosung smiled at that. “He could bring a lot of profit into the brothel.”  He gave Taehyung a glance that made him uneasy. “There’s a lot of people out there who are into men with stories cut into their bodies, especially their faces.” His eyes almost glowed in wonder before looking at Taehyung. “Taehyung, loosen up a bit will you?” He motioned to his grip on the bag. “You’ll scare Hoseok here. He’s new, remember?” He pouted.

Taehyung felt his fist shaking from the force with which he gripped the bag. He didn’t understand how Suga could be so calm watching Woosung taunt Hoseok. He knew that if it was Jimin instead of Hoseok, Suga’s knives would already be down Woosung’s throat.

Woosung laughed and looked at Hoseok. “It looks like Taehyung here might want to claim you, but who do you want to claim?” Woosung made his way behind Hoseok, put his chin on his shoulder, and whispered into his ear, “How about you take me in as your first customer?” He ran his hands around Hoseok’s waist and reached for his belt.

If Hoseok wouldn’t have reacted, Taehyung would have.

Hoseok spun around, grabbed Woosung by the collar, and slammed him into the nearest wall. The sound of the impact was satisfying. “Don’t fucking touch me.” Hoseok snarled. “We’re here to collect so let us do that.”

Woosung groaned in pain and his smile dropped for a second before returning. “Oh I can already see why my lover’s murderer must love you.” He pointed his chin towards Taehyung excitedly. “He loves getting abused.” He turned to Taehyung, “Tell me Taehyung, do you still miss your mommy?”

Hoseok moved away as soon as Taehyung lunged forward and smashed his fist to Woosung’s face, “Why can’t you ever just shut the fuck up and hand over the money?” Taehyung heard the desperate exasperation in his own voice.

Suga had only watched the encounter with folded arms and a disapproving look. He sucked air in through his teeth, clicked his tongue, and kept his expression calm, “Hm, I hear Taemoo doesn’t like it when people talk about her.” He cocked his head to the side. “I wouldn’t mention her again unless you want him to come here and deal with you himself.”

Woosung wiped blood off of his mouth with his forearm. His gold bracelets became stained with the liquid as did his blood red shirt. “You can tell Taemoo to come and do just that. I don’t give a fuck. It’s not my fault he misplaced his bitch.”

Taehyung grabbed Woosung’s head, spun him around, and slammed his head on the wall so many times the drywall broke and blood soaked it. He didn’t even feel the hands prying him away from the animal until it became unconscious.

Suga checked Woosung’s pulse and sighed in relief. “Fuck Taehyung did you have to go that far?” Woosung likely had a broken nose and a concussion. Maybe a small subdural hematoma if Taehyung had used enough force although that would be letting him off easy. Woosung deserved worse.

“He went further. Taemoo won’t care what I did once he asks why I did it.” Taehyung straightened out his tie, rage shaking his hands.

Hoseok was looking at the blood on the drywall, Woosung’s body, Taehyung’s hands, and finally his eyes. The look on his face was mostly neutral but there was a disappointment there that Taehyung wished he had never seen. He felt overwhelmingly embarrassed then. He had acted so impulsively and violently in front of someone he wanted to see him as a lover. How could he expect Hoseok to feel safe around him when he had acted like this towards others?

Taehyung looked down at his own hands which were still shaking. “Don’t listen to a word that fucker says.” He told Hoseok. “He’ll destroy your life just like he did with Suga and Jimin.”

Suga looked at Taehyung briefly but didn’t respond, he only went to reach for the stacks of money that were laying on Woosung’s desk. Once the money was stashed in Taehyung’s bag they opened the door to leave. They could have gotten away quietly if the snitch wasn’t peering right into the door and at the ground where Woosung lay unconscious. 

Hajoon was unconscious two seconds after he cried out for help. Suga had pummeled his fist into his face three times before the man dropped onto the floor with a thud. It was unfortunate that everyone in the brothel had already seen the violent display.

“Run.” Taehyung said to Hoseok before sprinting after an already running Suga.

Suga knew the place better than Taehyung did, so he followed his lead trustfully, turning corners when he did and speeding up when he did. He occasionally checked if Hoseok was behind him only to be relieved each time to see that he was. There were a few men running after them, but none fast enough to catch them.

They finally made their way out of a door and into an alleyway that was not empty.

Song: Descent of Warriors by H.O.T.

There was a familiar figure there standing right outside, crouching over a bleeding body. The man stood up once he heard them slam the door open and faced them with both the guns in his holsters.

“Hyung!” Hoseok called out, clearly relieved.

Agust put both his guns back into his holsters once he examined all their faces. “Why did you guys have to interrupt my work right now?” He put two bloody and gloved fingers over the bridge of his nose before closing his eyes and sighing. He squatted next to his gasping subject, “Thank them for saving you from some more torture. Taemoo wanted me to do worse, but he won’t really know what I did if we don’t tell him. I’ll just cut you up some more once you’re already dead.” He pressed a knife deep into the man’s throat and pulled it out before turning back to them. “You look like you’ve been running.” He raised a brow before wiping the blade off on a clean part of his dead victim’s clothing.

Suga had barricaded the door with a nearby dumpster during Agust’s show, but the men who had followed them were hitting the door so hard the dumpster began moving. The three of them struggled to hold the large bin against the door while Agust watched.

“We could use some help.” Suga said sarcastically as he threw all of his weight into his shoulder to hold the dumpster back.

A woman ran at them from an end of the alleyway and threw a knife in Agust’s direction. Agust dodged it and threw one back, landing perfectly between two of the woman’s ribs. More men came at them from both sides of the alley as the banging against the door quieted. “Ah fuck, this wasn’t what I had planned for the night.” Agust moved a strand of hair out of his eyes and behind his ear before placing a foot on the fallen woman’s chest and tugging the knife out. The sound she made was disturbing.

The men and women came at them quickly, outnumbering them at a concerning level.

“Fifteen against four?” The annoyance was clear in Taehyung’s voice, “Ah this isn’t fair.” He pulled out his nunchucks once the banging on the door had stopped.

Suga pulled out two large knives from inside his jacket while Hoseok pulled out two long and sharp daggers. One of the scars on Hoseok’s cheekbones glinted especially bright in the street lighting as he gripped a weapon in each hand. It was then that Taehyung had to remind himself that Hoseok used to be an assassin. He had to trust that the man could defend himself, because it was likely Taehyung wouldn’t be able to protect him.

Hoseok threw the next knife, landing perfectly in a man’s eye, before they all sprung to action. Taehyung knocked a large man out with a blow to the jaw before choking a smaller man unconscious. Agust on the other hand, was shooting and butchering people open leaving their organs out onto the alleyway. Hoseok had regained possession of his dagger and used it to disable five different men in five seconds. Suga had impaled his large knives into two separate men although he struggled to retrieve them. At some point Hajoon had regained consciousness and ran out charging at Suga immediately.

The rest left Suga to struggle with Hajoon while they took on the next wave of men. Agust had grabbed two men and bashed their skulls into each other while Hoseok had stolen someone’s machete, slicing key muscles left and right. Taehyung continued thrusting his nunchucks into unsuspecting men’s faces until everyone in the alley was dead or unconscious. Suga looked proudly into one of the dumpsters where Hajoon lay unconscious. “He had it coming.” He shrugged once he saw the questioning expression on Agust’s face.

“TAEHYUNG!” Hoseok suddenly yelled.

While they had been distracted with the scene in the dumpster, someone had come up behind Taehyung, dragged him onto the ground, and placed a knife to his throat. The knife was gone as soon as it appeared. Thankfully Hoseok had reacted quickly enough. He stole one of Agust’s guns and shot the woman between the brows. Taehyung felt the warm spray of blood on his back as her body hit the floor with a dull thud.

There was a second of silence before Hoseok let out a sigh of relief. “I was almost too late.” He watched Taehyung’s breathing figure with wide panicked eyes.

Taehyung was no stranger to death, but he was to Hoseok’s eyes. They were dark in the dim lighting of the alley, but they were wide and bright with relief. It was a bad time, but Taehyung felt heat rising in the back of his head as he was watched anxiously by Hoseok’s pretty eyes. 

Hoseok put a hand out towards Taehyung, which he took immediately, to help him stand. Hoseok let go as soon as Taehyung was upright. Hoseok did not look away from Taehyung. He examined his neck before asking, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Taehyung was sure his ears were red under his hair.

Agust and Suga quickly scanned the rest of the environment, finding another man trying to sneak up on them from the fire escape above. They took him out quickly, his body landing into the dumpster and onto Hajoon’s unconscious once. Suga laughed then.

Agust looked at him, disgusted. “Aren’t I supposed to be the crazy one?”

That comment was all it took for Suga to regain his composure. “You’re not crazy.” He told his brother sincerely.

“You know what I mean.” Agust looked away and waved a dismissive hand. “Call for housekeeping.”

Hoseok looked away from Taehyung and watched Agust with an empathetic expression.

The door began shaking again, fists pounding on it from the other side.

“Are we going to leave or what?” Agust asked.

They made their way to the car quickly and took off to the club in Mapo where they would likely have to face Taemoo. Taehyung wasn’t afraid of many things, but he was terrified of his father. The man was so violent, physically and emotionally, that’s not to mention how unpredictable his mood was. Every interaction with his father was like the feeling one gets while waiting for the ball to stop while playing roulette after betting everything one owns.

It was a bet he always lost.

Taehyung stepped out of the car before Suga had even parked.

“Wh- Tae- What’s wrong?” Hoseok called out before freeing himself from the seat belt.

Taehyung ignored him and continued walking. He had been pale and sweaty the entire ride back to the club. Hoseok had been silent in the backseat with him, keeping a watchful eye on him the entire time, but Taehyung could not focus on the man who held all of his affection. He was too anxious at the thought of bringing up his mother in front of Taemoo.

“Leave him be.” Suga said once Hoseok began to follow. Suga reached back for the bag of cash Taehyung left behind before stepping outside the car with the others.

Taehyung heard the three men follow closely behind him as they walked towards the entrance of the club.

“What did Woosung mean when he said murderer?” Hoseok asked Suga quietly although Taehyung could still hear them perfectly.

A part of him wanted to stop Suga. Hoseok did not need to know nor did Taehyung want him to know, but he was bound to find out. Maybe it was better that Hoseok doesn’t hear the word “murderer” while looking into Taehyung’s eyes.

“Taehyung killed Woosung’s lover, Jaehyeong, in the ring about a decade ago. Internal decapitation. It was an accident.” He heard Suga’s clothes rustle with the shrug of his shoulders. “Woosung is not the type to let anything go. He will turn anything into a game that only he enjoys playing. He's been taunting Taehyung ever since.”

He has a right to do so.

They continued conversing about Woosung until they reached the large doors of Taemoo’s office. Every time he stood in front of those doors he felt like an ant standing in front of a redwood. It seemed impossible to push those doors open and even more impossible to step beyond them when he knew what was waiting behind them. He felt so cold and sweaty that he did not know how he was supposed to hide his nerves from his father if he looked as bad as he felt. The look on Agust’s face as they entered the elevator confirmed his suspicions. He looked worse than he felt.

Dongseok was already waiting for them at the entrance. “Master Kim wants to speak with you.” He bowed.

He was thankful that Suga opened the door first, leaving the rest to follow behind with Taehyung being the last. The four walked to stand five feet in front of Taemoo’s desk before bowing.

“I’ve arrived, father.” Taehyung’s voice was weak. He lifted his head to look at his father. 

Taemoo wore a cream colored suit with a navy tie. His cigar sat in an ashtray, lit and burning while he toyed with a pen. “Hajoon called.” He said in his hoarse voice, thick with years of smoking cigars. He placed his pen down on his desk with a loud clack. “Tell me what happened.” He folded his calloused hands in front of him and waited. He looked Taehyung dead in the eye. He couldn’t help but feel small and helpless under his father’s gaze. There was something about the man that made you want to run as far away from him as you possibly could. He had an evil aura and an even more terrifying gaze.

“Woosung mentioned Min Hari.” Taehyung wasn’t sure how successful he was at hiding the trembling in his voice. He swallowed hard to stop himself from vomiting.

Seongsu sat in the corner of the room, listening to everything so he could analyze and break down with Taemoo later. Nothing ever seemed to surprise him so Taehyung did not expect him to look nervous at the mention of Min Hari.

Taemoo’s brows perked up in curiosity before rubbing a hand on his short graying stubble. The motion let out a quiet rasping sound. “Hm, what exactly did he say?” He said through his teeth.

He felt himself begin to sweat then. He hoped the man would ignore the pallor on his face. “He said it’s not his fault you misplaced your bitch.”

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from flinching when Taemoo stood up and slammed both fists on his desk. He didn’t realize he had stumbled back until Hoseok placed a steadying hand on his lower back.

Dongseok walked in quickly, ready to respond to any threat aimed at his boss only to be dismissed as quickly as he arrived.

Taemoo took a deep breath before picking up his cigar and inhaling deeply. He grabbed the glass that was on his desk and threw it at Taehyung’s feet. He stumbled back again, this time supported by both Agust and Hoseok. He was trembling so badly he didn’t know if he had stumbled from the threat of the glass or the weakness in his legs.

“You’re dismissed!” Taemoo yelled. “Agust, Suga, you stay. I have an assignment for you.”

Hoseok and Taehyung bowed in unison and walked out.

Once the doors to his office were shut, Taehyung walked as fast as he could to the roof. He needed to get rid of the suffocating feeling being underground gave him. He needed to get rid of it immediately before that horrid feeling inside of him creeped out. There were footsteps behind him, but he ignored him as he walked as quickly as he could to the place where he could escape the claustrophobic basement.

He ran up the steps and threw the door open. He inhaled as much air as he could, so much to the point he was dizzy. It was not enough. He felt trapped by the air conditioning units and the ledges around him. He needed to be completely free. He ran over to the edge and stood on it, needing to feel completely free from anything and everything. He needed the cold gale to touch every one of his limbs if he was going to get rid of the terrifying feeling building in his chest. He was never planning on jumping, but Hoseok seemed to think he was.

“NO!” Hoseok grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back. They both fell on the floor into a painful mess of limbs facing each other, with Hoseok still holding onto him. “What are you doing!?”

“Ouch! Getting some fresh air. What’s your problem?” Taehyung looked at Hoseok’s panicked expression.

“That is not how you get some fresh air! You won’t get any air if you’re dead!” He yelled.

Taehyung rubbed the shoulder which hit the floor during the fall. It ached so much he could barely focus on the conversation. “Did you have to throw me down so hard? I wasn’t going to jump.”

“Then what were you going to do huh?” Hoseok’s brows were furrowed in worry.

“I was going to stand there until I felt better and then climb back down, like I always do.”

Hoseok’s voice was frantic. It was the most animated he had seen the man since their reunion. “Guess what? I don’t know that you always do this. To me it looked like you were sprinting to your death. I can’t-” He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and subconsciously held Taehyung closer. “What did you expect me to do when that is what was running through my mind?”

Taehyung watched Hoseok’s dilated pupils once he opened his eyes again and felt his chest rise and fall quickly against his own chest. His face was set in pure concern and his hands gripped the back of Taehyung’s dark gray blazer tightly. Hoseok’s current eyes were the ones that Taehyung loved to see, especially when they were gazing at his own.

“I’m sorry. I’m not going to jump.” Taehyung reassured him quietly. “I will never jump as long as everyone I love is still alive.”

Hoseok closed his eyes and bumped his head on Taehyung’s good shoulder briefly. He looked back up and examined Taehyung’s eyes before donning a questioning expression.“If I let you go, you’re not going to run back to that ledge are you?”

Taehyung laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”

“If I let you go, you will still live so that I can see you tomorrow, right?” Hoseok’s expression softened.

“Even if you don’t let go, we will still see each other tomorrow as long as you decide to come back.” Taehyung said quietly.

Hoseok looked back and forth between Taehyung’s eyes. “I will.” He replied softly.

He felt so much affection for Hoseok at the moment that he did not know what to do with it. How could he show this man how he felt without scaring him away? He wanted to pull Hoseok into an embrace and it looked like he wanted to do the same, especially since his grip on Taehyung had still not eased. Taehyung used the little self control he had left to hold back to reach behind himself and remove Hoseok’s hands from his jacket. Once their hands touched, Hoseok’s grip went limp. 

“Good. Can we get up now? My shoulder really hurts.” Taehyung laughed.

“Sorry.”

Taehyung had always liked the sound of the bill counters. It was satisfying to hear the sound of his night’s work and even more satisfying to watch the large stacks grow on his desk although the money was not his to keep. It was a mindless task that was repetitive and predictable. He enjoyed the low level of stress in his body every time he had to count. There was something so soothing about counting that he looked forward to it every collection day. He looked forward to it even more now that he had Hoseok there with him.

Slowly but surely, Hoseok was warming up to him. It gave Taehyung hope that he knew should not be there. Despite Hoseok's slip ups, he still kept his distance. He had been silent on their way to the infirmary to have Taehyung's shoulder checked out and silent on the way back to the office. Yet he had been so worried and caring while they were on the roof. Hoseok was purposely keeping his distance from him but Taehyung did not understand why.

The wonderful man sat in front of him now, focused on loading large stacks of cash into the bill counter and then typing the amount into the calculator. He looked completely relaxed and focused, as if he had not just killed a dozen men in an alley a few hours ago. Taehyung supposed he looked the same. Taehyung was so used to murdering on the job that it no longer fazed him. 

He was upset that Hoseok was just as conditioned to murder as he was. 

That the man he thought of as the purest man in the world had been tainted with the worst it had to offer. He wanted to protect not only Hoseok, but himself from all that he had experienced. Neither of them should have come down this path. They should have both been kept away from this world. They should have never been introduced to murder. Taehyung should have never been taught how to extort money from anyone, especially not in the manner he did.

He had replayed the scene from earlier in his head over and over until he had pinned Hoseok’s face in the memory. He remembered the sound of the drywall breaking under Woosung’s head and the look in Hoseok’s eyes as he did it. His face was stoic but his eyes were disappointed.

“Hoseok.” Taehyung felt more nervous than he should have. “Would you believe me if I told you I wasn’t a violent person?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in his answer yet he did not look up at Taehyung. He only continued putting numbers into the calculator, as if Taehyung had never spoken.

Taehyung felt uneasy. Did he really mean it? Or did he only say it so that the conversation would end there? It was something that his mother often did when arguing with his father. Regardless of how much she disagreed with his father, she would agree with him only to stop him from arguing further. Taemoo always seemed satisfied but Taehyung knew her well enough that he could hear her rolling her eyes as she spoke. 

He did not know Hoseok like he knew his mother which meant he had to be more direct if he was going to get a concrete answer.

“Would you really?” Taehyung asked.

Hoseok finally looked up. “You don’t have to tell me. I do believe it.” There was not a hint of deception in his voice or his eyes.

Although that is what he wanted to hear, he did not feel content with his answer. 

Hoseok must have seen it in his face. “Violent people beat those they claim to love. They injure without reason and for pure enjoyment. I don’t believe you enjoy it. I believe that you do it because there is no other way. You would never hurt the people you love nor would you hurt anyone without reason. I believe that your enemies fear you.” He paused. “I also believe that the people you love feel safe around you.”

Taehyung folded his hands together and placed them in front of himself on the desk. He leaned forwards to look closer into Hoseok’s eyes, trying to decipher if the man was being honest. “You don’t believe I went too far with Woosung?”

Hoseok glanced up at him quickly before looking back down and smiling. “If you hadn’t done that to him Suga probably would have. I heard him mutter something about him wanting to leave his rings imprinted on his face.”

They laughed quietly.

Whenever Hoseok smiled, the right corner of his mouth didn’t go up as high as the left did, yet it was still as beautiful as it had been all of those years ago.

“What happened there?” Taehyung reached forward and hovered a finger over the scar that ran from the corner of Hoseok’s mouth all the way up to his ear. It looked as if his face had been completely carved open and then sewn back together. Taehyung felt murderous once he imagined how painful it must have been for Hoseok. He would find whoever did this to him and then kill them. Hoseok's smile faded and he leaned back. Taehyung retracted his hand. “Sorry.”

Hoseok took a breath before shaking his head. “It’s okay.” He loaded another stack of cash into the bill counter and waited for the machine to begin clicking before speaking. “It was a punishment for not saving someone.”

It was all he said and Taehyung knew he did not want to say anymore about it at the moment. Taehyung wanted to know exactly what he meant but he would wait until Hoseok wanted to speak about it.

“What is it about your father that scares you so much?” Hoseok asked.

Taehyung tensed. “What do you mean?”

“You practically fell apart once we reached your father’s office. What did he do to you?” Hoseok never glanced away from his task, but his eyes were focused on Taehyung in his periphery.

Taehyung on the other hand, could not continue counting. He gripped the bills in his hands tightly. “I’d probably become angry enough to kill him if I were to tell you.”

“I would stop you if you did.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Dongseok would kill you.”

Taehyung sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Maybe you should let him.”

Hoseok finally stopped counting and grabbed Taehyung’s chin. He tilted his chin up with two smooth fingers and forced Taehyung to meet his profound gaze. “You must have forgotten but I wasn’t only hired to protect the money, I was also hired to protect you.” He looked down at Taehyung’s neck and removed his hand from his chin to swipe a finger on his freshly wounded neck. He examined his finger briefly before looking back at Taehyung. “Don’t give me a chance to fail.”

Taehyung swallowed hard, his skin burning where Hoseok pressed on it.

Hoseok sat back in his chair and continued while Taehyung was still trying to process what had just happened. He cleared his throat and eased his grip on the stack of money in his hand. How could Hoseok have done something so flirtatious and then gone back to his work as if nothing had happened? How could he look so unfazed while Taehyung was trying to shove down the blood threatening to rush to his face? Would Hoseok have been more open to the idea of Taehyung if they were not in a gang?

“Hoseok?”

“Hm?”

“How did someone as good as you end up here?”

Hoseok kept running the same stack of money through the bill counter over and over. “Are you still stuck on who I used to be?” He raised a brow.

“No.” Taehyung responded immediately. “I know you are not the same as you were then. How could you be when ten years have passed? The past Hoseok was wonderful, and if it weren’t for him I could have never made my way to the Hoseok of the present.”

Hoseok furrowed his brows and continued running the same stack of cash through the bill counter. “You wouldn’t be so thrilled with the Hoseok of the present if you knew all the things he has done. All the things he is tied to… all the things he wishes he could be washed clean from.” His voice lowered at the end.

“You’re likely putting yourself in a more negative light than you should.”

Hoseok shook his head. “I’m not good, Taehyung. How can I be when I’ve murdered people?” His tone showed a hint of distress.

Taehyung could not answer immediately as he too had asked himself that question so many times. He related to Hoseok in ways the latter could not imagine so how could he make him feel better without justifying his own wrongdoings?

“You saved my life today. Do good people not save the lives of others?” Taehyung finally answered.

Hoseok’s eyes became doubtful, as if he was considering what Taehyung had said and was applying it to himself. “I saved one life tonight, but ended many others.”

“Who would have ended yours if you had not ended theirs first.”

“Is that how you look at it every time you kill someone?”

He briefly thought of the moment Jaehyeong’s neck snapped in his arms. “I do now.” He changed the topic to avoid further prying into a subject he did not want to get into. “I heard you aced your initiation. What did Bang make you do?”

Hoseok spoke as he continued running cash through the bill counters. “He put me in a warehouse with six other men he wanted dead. There was a bag hidden in the warehouse that I had to find and deliver while killing all six men. The other men were told their lives would be spared if they killed me before I delivered the bag. Once I delivered the bag he made me brand myself with the emblem.”

“Where did you place it?”

“On my back. I didn’t want it somewhere where I could see it.” Hoseok’s eyes became distant.

“I did the same.”

Hoseok moved his gaze to Taehyung.

“If I can’t see it then I can pretend this isn’t real. That my father didn’t choose this path for me.” 

“What would you have done if you had never joined the gang?” Hoseok asked.

Taehyung gave himself a moment to think. “I honestly don’t know. I never thought I had an option so I never thought of entertaining a future away from this place. At least not on my own.” Taehyung was bred to become a part of the gang. He was supposed to be a loyal and disposable employee from birth. He was never given the choice or opportunity to do anything other than work under his father.

“Not on your own? Who would you like to imagine a future with?” Hoseok kept his gaze down but his eyes were narrowed.

“Should I tell you?” Taehyung said seriously, not afraid of saying his answer out loud. He knew what he wanted although he did not know if who he wanted also wanted him.

Hoseok watched Taehyung carefully, his face calm but cautious. “No.”

“Are you afraid of my answer?”

“Yes.”

Taehyung watched as Hoseok watched him. His expression was flat yet there was no denial in it. He only continued pressing buttons on the calculator without another word.

Taehyung realized that he was nothing but a hypocrite. He wanted Hoseok to leave, to be free from a life of crime, yet he wanted him to stay so he could continue having small moments like this with him regardless of how distant he was. He was not only a hypocrite but he was selfish.

He would do anything that brought him closer to Hoseok.

He just really hoped Hoseok wasn’t the mole, because he no longer knew if he could kill him.

********

THE DAYS OF JEON JUNGKOOK

Jungkook’s least favorite dreams were those that rendered him useless. He hated not being able to move when he wanted to run, or speak when he wanted to communicate. He hated it and now it was becoming a reality. He was telling those he trusted about the mole but it was as if he was yelling and nothing was coming out of his mouth. No one cared to listen to what he had to say. They all wanted to express their own opinions on the matter before trying to understand what Jungkook was trying to tell them. 

Not even Jimin was an exception.

The man hadn’t even let Jungkook speak. He stopped him at the mention of a mole and said he did not want him to tell Suga because knowing would put him in danger.

Where everyone saw danger, Jungkook saw opportunity. 

If only he could find out who the mole was. He didn’t want to hurt them, he only wanted to see what he could do to help, but clearly he was the only one who thought that way.

Taehyung had told him to suspect Jin out of anger but it planted the seed of doubt in Jungkook’s mind. What if he was the mole? How could they take down Taemoo without risking his cover? How could he let Jin know that Jungkook was trustworthy? It was a lot to think of, but there was something more pressing at the moment.

Jungkook hadn’t spoken to Jin at all since their argument.

He had seen him since then, but never up close. He had caught glimpses of him in the halls and had sat near him at dinner. Everytime he looked at Jin, he seemed to be watching him too. It made Jungkook nervous as he had no idea what was on the man’s mind. Jungkook was still embarrassed at the way he stormed out of the infirmary. He must have looked like a child throwing a tantrum.

He lightly tapped his forehead onto the dark red wall next to the infirmary.

How could he have been such an idiot? Jin didn’t want to listen to him, but Jungkook didn’t want to listen to him either. He was just as stubborn as Jin was being. He was so uneasy with the situation that he wanted to resolve it as quickly as possible.

He stood up straight and paced the hall until he found the courage to knock.

He was mid knock when we saw Taehyung down the hall. He was looking at the ground but he was walking quickly towards Jungkook. Taehyung stopped once Jungkook spotted him, smiled nervously, and then turned back in the opposite direction.

“Hyung where are you going?” Jungkook asked, but Taehyung was gone.

“Come in.” Jin’s muffled voice sounded from inside.

Jungkook opened the door to see Jin sitting at his desk reading a book. He closed it and put it aside before adjusting his glasses and looking up at Jungkook. He gave him a cautious smile, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Hello Jungkook. What can I help you with?”

He stood in front of Jin’s desk with his shoulders hunched forward and his hands twisting nervously behind his back. “I’ve been feeling off the past few days.”

Jin furrowed his brow in concentration before attempting to look at Jungkook’s forearm. “Let’s take a look at your wound. It could be infected. Talk to me about your symptoms. I’ll remove your stitches as well.” He stood up and motioned for Jungkook to sit in one of the beds.

Jungkook sat where instructed. “Not my wound, me.” 

Jin paused for a moment before placing a pair of wound scissors in the small metal tray he was loading with supplies. 

Jungkook spoke while Jin continued. “I’ve been feeling regretful. I was immature, rude, and emotional the last time we spoke. I wasn’t thinking with a clear head. I was so caught up in the fantasy of freedom that I did not think of the danger that would come with it. I still want to obtain our freedom, but I will be more cautious about it and consider everyone’s safety before I do anything.”

Jin sighed quietly and walked towards where Jungkook had sat on the bed. He set everything down on the metal bedside table and closed the curtain. He pulled up a small rolling chair and sat next to him. “I’ve been feeling the same way. I shouldn’t have been so closed minded. I understand why you want to try to do what you want to do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still dangerous, but I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.”

“I feel the same way. Are we okay?” Jungkook asked cautiously.

Jin smiled before reaching for Jungkook’s forearm. “We are.”

Jungkook released a breath he did not know he was holding.

Jin laughed. “Don’t tell me you lost sleep over this?”

He shrugged. “I don’t sleep much anyway.”

Jin continued smiling. “I understand you more now that I have thought more of it. The thought of freedom is addictive. I’ll have to admit,” he paused, “I haven’t been able to stop imagining a future away from here ever since we spoke.”

“Will you help me find who it is?” Jungkook asked expectantly.

“No.” Jin smiled as he took the dressing off of Jungkook’s arm.

Jungkook deflated immediately.

“Helping you would be suicide with how closely I’m monitored.” Jin snipped off the first stitch. “I won’t stop you either. If I come across anything that may be of aid to you, I will let you know, but I will not actively put myself in danger.” He snipped the second.

It was not the answer he wanted, but it was one he could accept. “I understand. It is a lot to ask. I cannot ask you to risk my life for my own goal. I would never want you to put your life on the line for me.”

“Like you would for Taehyung?” He snipped the third.

Jungkook looked up at the wonderful man whose brow was furrowed in concentration. “Yes.”

“I don’t think he would ever want you to put your life on the line for him. Your life is too precious to give away to someone who will one day die as well.” He snipped the fourth.

“It is my life. I decide who I lay it down for.”

“I understand. You have your free will. I just hope that you won’t regret it later.” He snipped the fifth.

“I don’t think I can regret anything other than hurting you or any of the others. Especially not Taehyung.”

“You love him.” Jin said the words as if they were a fact and he was right. The words could not be more true. The feelings in his heart could not be sincere.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

“Will you tell him?”

“He has always loved Hoseok.” He sighed.

Jin nodded. “He has. I remember Taehyung mentioning him many times. We finally have the honor of meeting the man who has stolen his heart.” Jin snipped the sixth stitch.

“Yeah an honor.” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“You don’t like him.” Jin smiled.

“How could I when he is the reason Taehyung will never see me?”

Jin looked up at Jungkook briefly. “I guess you can’t have your enemies close, can you?”

Jungkook remained silent as he watched Jin snip the remaining stitches. Jin worked quickly and efficiently, as always. His eyes never lost their focus despite them holding complicated conversations while he worked. It was always amazing to him how Jin could be such a good doctor all while hating the profession.

“Your eyes are so kind.” Jungkook pointed out.

Jin looked at him briefly as he cleaned up.

Jungkook looked down at his mostly healed wound. He could tell there would be minimal scarring regardless of it not being healed yet. There was no infection nor did it hurt anymore. “You hate your job,” Jungkook continued looking at his wound, “but your conscience is intact. I think that’s why it looks like you enjoy your job on the surface. You’re too kind and care too much about others to rush through your work or give anyone less than adequate treatment. That is very admirable of you.” He met Jin’s eyes. “Thank you so much for taking care of me.”

Jin sat there with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open. “No, no, I’m not-”

“Are you calling me a liar?’ Jungkook challenged. His tone was lighthearted but Jin didn’t smile. “Just take the compliment.” He insisted. “I would never say anything about you if I didn’t feel it was the truth.” 

Jin laughed, the cross on his chest chiming once it made contact with the golden buttons on his violet shirt.

“You wear a cross just like I do.” Jungkook commented. “Why do you wear it?”

Jin’s gaze softened and his eyes moved down to the cross on his chest. “Where you see your earthly father, I see a savior.”

He gave up his life for us. He recalled his father’s words briefly.

Jungkook felt his mouth drop open slightly. Jin said the words with so much love and awe that he truly became curious as to what he meant. “What do you mean?”

“I see the cross as a symbol of a sacrifice that was made for me. A symbol of one who loved me enough to die for me. A symbol of forgiveness and unconditional love. A symbol of hope.” Jin smiled and his eyes glowed brighter than the lights around them. “We could all use some of that around here don’t you think?”

Jungkook looked down at his own silver cross. His father was a man of faith who was devoted to a God that Jungkook was introduced to but forgot about once his father died. Jungkook did not understand what it meant to believe in something that sounded impossible, but he somehow understood it by looking into Jin’s eyes. He could feel it in Jin’s presence.

“Hope.” He looked down at his cross and felt it grow warm against his chest. “You’re right. I’ve forgotten myself.” He stood up off the bed slowly suddenly feeling compelled to go look through his father’s belongings. “I need to go. Is there anything else I have to do for this?” He pointed at his wound but his eyes were still on his cross. “Or am I cured?”

Jin’s eyes finally softened when he laughed quietly. “You’re cured.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you around hyung.”

Chapter Text

THE DAYS OF KIM TAEHYUNG

Taehyung hated his mother but maybe not as much as she hated him.

To her, his existence was the biggest burden that could have possibly been placed in her life. She made sure to remind him of that every single chance she got. It was one of the many reasons Taehyung did not have a single memory of hers that he held dear to his heart. Min Hari made sure of that. He never heard a single word of love or praise from her in the few years they spent together. Quite the opposite. The only thing that ever came from her mouth was nothing but hatred and the only thing that her hands ever left on him were strikes of punishment rather than the warmth of an embrace. Taehyung’s life with Min Hari had been filled with nothing but punishment. She always found a reason to yell or hit him whether he deserved it or not. Every punishment from her would end with her calling him harsh names he had never forgotten.

Any small argument with her would turn into a large one, one where she made sure Taehyung knew she wanted him to be wiped off the face of the earth. Out of all of the harsh things he had ever said to him, that was the one that stuck with him the most. How could a mother want their child to die? Even now, as an adult, he would look at a small child on the street and wonder how could anyone ever want to harm something so small and innocent. How could she have had the heart to treat him the way he did?

His clearest memory of her was the vision of her waiting by the door with a belt every day after he came home from school. He never remembered doing anything to upset her the day before or the morning of, yet there she was, waiting to punish him. He always asked himself what he could have done from the time he left the house, to the time he came home from school to make her angry enough that she would hit him as soon as she saw him but he never found an answer. 

On the other hand, his father had never treated him that way as a child. He was calm and understanding. He always justified Taehyung’s feelings when he cried and never made him feel hated. He played with Taehyung once in a while and even taught him how to fight with his cousins the Mins. He trained Taehyung since he was very young to defend himself physically but he was told to never defend himself from his mother. He only took her abuse because his father told him to. He did not want to disobey and anger the only parent that was on his side. Although the affection he held for his father did not last very long.

They had moved from Daegu to Jumunjin unexpectedly despite his and his mother’s protests. His father did not give them a solid reason for their move but they had no other choice as they relied on him financially. Taehyung wanted to move to the Min mansion instead to be with his cousins and his mother was surprisingly on board with the idea. After all, it was his father was the one that needed to move, not him. He didn’t mind staying with the Mins at all. In fact, he loved the idea. His mom wouldn’t hit him around his cousins and he could play with them all day every day. He loved them and his aunt and uncle more than his parents so why couldn’t he live with them instead?

Taemoo ended up dragging them to Jumunjin regardless.

In Jumunjin, Taehyung’s commute home from school was longer than it had ever been before. He had to transfer a few buses and then walk home for what felt like an eternity. It was his least favorite part of the day especially since his mother treated him worse than before. His father was never home now which meant he had to be alone all of the time with the woman who hurt him the most.

That quickly changed once Taehyung caught his father.

Taehyung had just gotten off his first bus and was waiting at the bus stop for the second one that would take him home. Behind him were a few small shops and restaurants which were filled with locals. He was watching the road absentmindedly, tuning out most of the noise behind him, when he heard a familiar voice. He turned before he even knew what he was looking for. 

That’s when he saw his father walking with a pretty young lady and a boy that looked the same age as Taehyung.

Confused, Taehyung called out and waved to his father who stopped walking in place. They all turned to look at Taehyung.

“Is he talking to you appa?” The boy questioned.

“Appa?” Taehyung questioned out loud. The boy called him appa. That’s when he noticed the shiny ring on the woman’s finger.

His parents had never married and he never knew why. He never bothered asking again after being met with hostility the first time he asked. Now he knew.

Tears began to pool up in his eyes but he fought them back like he always did because they always brought him more punishment. He walked away quickly, hoping his dad wouldn’t follow.

“Who is the boy?” The woman asked, confused. The woman would never make the connection unless she already knew Taehyung existed. He only shared his father’s nose and ears, but that wouldn’t be enough to make the connection. Taehyung looked more like his mother than his father and he had always hated himself for that, but now he was glad. His father was a bad man. He was a liar and a traitor. He didn’t want anything to do with him.

“I’ll be right back. Take Taeju inside and buy him some ice cream.” His father handed her a 50,000 won bill.

He couldn’t believe he was seeing that bill in his father’s hand.

His father had never bought him ice cream, let alone casually given his mother 50,000 won for anything. Not even groceries. For all Taehyung knew, they were dirt poor. His mother was always counting 100 won coins to gather enough money to buy a bag of rice or a kilogram of tofu. It was the same thing whenever Taehyung needed a new backpack or shoes. His parents were always fighting about money yet there his father was, handing over 50,000 won for ice cream. What angered Taehyung even more, was that Taeju was wearing Nike shoes and a North Face jacket. Taehyung always wanted to wear clothes like Jungkook and Jimin did but he never dared ask his parents for them because he understood that a request like that would only be a burden to his family. Seeing his father’s other son have these material things hurt, not because Taehyung didn’t have them, but because his mother was worrying about money every day when his father’s other family was living in luxury.

Taehyung ran.

“Taehyung, wait!” His father called as he followed him.

He didn’t stop. He ran as fast as his legs would take him. His eyes were so full of tears he didn’t see the large deformity in the sidewalk. It wasn’t until he heard the crunch before he realized what had happened. His face hit the concrete before the rest of his body had. He saw the blood dripping onto the floor before he felt the sharp pain in his nose.

He held his nose and cried. Not only was he crying because it hurt, he was upset at his father’s approach. He was so angry he didn’t know how else to react, so he screamed. “Let go of me! You’re a traitor!” His emotions came involuntarily as he thrashed his arm away from his father’s grasp.

“Stop screaming. Let’s go to the hospital.” His father said flatly. His father picked him up in his arms and Taehyung thrashed in protest.

“No, let me go! Help me! Someone help me!” He wailed through broken and muffled sobs.

People began to give them speculative looks. A woman stopped them and asked what was going on.

“He’s my son. He broke his nose. I'm taking him to the hospital. If you'll excuse me.” He tugged on Taehyung’s arm.

“No please, I want my mom!” Taehyung cried.

His father froze.

The words sounded strange from his mouth and his father wasn’t the only one that noticed. He never spoke positively of his mother so he was as shocked as his father was.

The woman watched his father with a menacing look. She looked as if she were the one defending her own child rather than a random boy who she knew nothing about.

“Okay, let’s call your mom.” His father finally said. He sat him down on the bench of a bus stop and walked to the nearest payphone.

They sat at the bus stop and waited. The stranger handed Taehyung some tissues to hold on his nose and waited with him. She said she would wait with them until Taehyung's mother came so that she was sure he was safe. His father argued with the stranger for a while but Taehyung couldn’t stop crying long enough to listen to what they were saying.

He cried harder once he saw his mother. He felt sad for her and he didn’t understand why. The look on her face made him cry even harder. She looked angry and her tone held its usual cold and scolding nature. “What happened to you!? Ugh kid, you are so worthless! You can’t even walk straight! What good are you for, huh? All you do is make my life harder.” She immediately took his face in her hands and examined his face. She looked to his dad and said, “Let’s go to the hospital.” She used that same angry tone she used whenever Taehyung burdened her.

Taehyung was still crying in the taxi. There was so much blood and snot coming out of his nose that he had to breathe through his mouth but that wasn’t his biggest concern. All he could think of was how worried his mother likely was about the cab fare.

His mother sighed, her voice full of exhaustion, “Don’t cry son. We’ll be there soon.” She opened her bag and handed Taehyung a new wad of tissues.

That made him pause. “You called me son?”

His mother had called him every negative name in the book and had never once referred to him as her son, not until today.

“You are my son, are you not?” Her face showed no hint of warmth. She didn’t even bother to look at him.

They made it to the hospital soon after that. They only allowed one parent to go in but he was at a loss. He hated his mother, but he also hated his father. The staff asked him who he wanted there.

“No one. I hate them both. I can go by myself.” He complained.

He remembered why he hated them when they both gave him a frustrated look.

“I’ll go with him.” His father volunteered quickly.

“No, I will go.” His mother stepped in. “I’ve given up my entire life because of him. I know how to take care of him. I will go.”

“I said I’ll go.” His father said so firmly he almost yelled.

His mother huffed and grumbled about waiting in the waiting room. 

The nasal realignment was painful and his father was no comfort although his mother would not have done a better job. The doctor mentioned something about his nose not looking the same as it did before the break. He was silently happy about it now that he knew he would look less like his father. Once his nose was splinted, they had to wait in the room for the nurse to complete the discharge paperwork. Taehyung used the time alone to confront his father.

“Who were those people you were with?” His voice sounded different to him but the only thing that had changed was his nose. He didn’t understand how it had changed his voice. The sound was almost annoying.

His father picked him up and sat him in his lap. Taehyung did not want his father to hold him so he resisted. His father ordered him to stop so he did. His father rarely ordered him to do anything but when he did he said things in a way that made him fear what would happen if he did not. “I am going to tell you a story and you are not going to tell your mother. You got it?”

Taehyung nodded.

“A very long time ago, I married someone and we had a baby but she didn’t make me happy. Then I met your mother. She made me happy and then we had you. That boy you saw is your brother.”

“You married that lady?”

“Yes, a long time ago. I don’t see her anymore.”

“So you have two wives?”

“Your mother and I aren’t married. '' He didn't say any more. There was a long pause before his father spoke again. “Son, you can’t tell your mother about what you saw today.”

“Why not?” Taehyung didn’t know how he could tell his mother without her punishing him but he also didn’t understand why she couldn’t know.

“You know how angry she gets. She will never understand. She will only be more angry at me and you everyday. So don’t say anything okay?” His father held his shoulders tightly and waited until Taehyung nodded before letting go.

The last thing Taehyung wanted to do was to suffer more punishment at the hand of his mother so he agreed.

“I have to go now. I’ll tell your mother to come in.” His father gave him a prickly peck on the forehead and then left.

His mother came in and sat in the chair next to him only to scold him about falling. A volunteer worker came in and offered him a sandwich. He was hungry but he declined because he knew that his mother probably did not have enough money in his purse to pay for it. His mother told him to take it but he refused. He didn’t want her to worry about having to pay for anything. He was already concerned about his mother’s reaction when the hospital bill eventually came.

He didn’t know what had changed, but he became closer to his mother after that. He also felt sad every time he looked at her. He knew what his father was doing was wrong. He knew that she would be mad if she found out about his wife. Taehyung became kinder to her and stopped resisting whenever she came to punish him. He wanted to stop making her angry so that she wouldn’t be too angry when and if she ever found out about his father’s wife.

She still got mad at him sometimes but not as much as before. They even laughed together once he made a bad joke in the car. His dad watched him through the rearview mirror with a surprised look on his face, as if he couldn’t believe Taehyung and his mother were smiling in each other’s presence.

Taemoo took Taehyung to get tteokbokki one day after training and asked him about his improving relationship with his mother. Taehyung said he didn’t know why but his mom was nicer to him after he broke his nose.

His life fell apart soon after that day. 

He was helping his mom clean the house when Taehyung felt something uncomfortable inside him. It felt worse every time he looked at his mom. He thought it would feel better if he told her about his dad’s wife. So he did.

“He’s still with her?” She whispered angrily to herself.

All Taehyung felt was fear. He saw his mother’s happy state disappear in seconds. She looked like the woman who beat him and called him hateful words. He waited for her to strike but she grabbed the phone instead and dialed a number as she walked to her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her.