Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sound of my feet hitting the pavement echoes through the alleyway, my panting breath following close after. As I round the corner, a dark street stretches before me. I turn around quickly, scanning the horizon before I continue my sprint towards a distant building. 

“Hey, there she is! Grab her!”

I duck into a yard, hopping the low fence line to create obstacles for my chasers. As I hop the next fence, I feel something grab at my heel - yet, I’m still just one step ahead. The sound of their body falling to the ground in their failed attempt quickly gets drowned out by the crunching of fallen leaves under my feet. One more fence, and I’m back in the open street. 

The building comes closer into my view, spelling sanctuary in my mind. Just keep the momentum, I’m almost there!

As I come within two houses of the Cathedral, I’m swiftly knocked off my feet by what feels like a freight train. My head knocks on the pavement, sending a wave of pain and dizziness through my system. I groan loudly, instantly touching my head and looking to see the warm dark blood pouring from the wound. Squinting my eyes upwards, I see the large man who broke my stride standing over me. 

“Your time is up, heretic.” He snarls, his voice deep and menacing. I feel my heart nearly leap out of my chest, instinctively curling into a ball on the ground. The man grabs me by my hair, seemingly to lift me off the ground, yet his hand quickly disappears just as quickly as he performed the action. I hear a cry for pain, one that is not my own. I open my eyes slowly, painfully curious.

Above me stands a man in all black, arms crossed. His face is covered in white makeup, with black markings reminiscent of a skeleton’s. Under the moonlight his eyes glow - one green, one white. His expression is unnerving, unwavering. I hear rustling on the ground near me, and notice under this unknown man’s boot is my previous captor. He squirms and kicks with all of his might - yet, he seems stuck like a caught parasite. I frown, blinking multiple times to keep my vision straight.

”Heresy is quite the crime, little one.” The creepy man above me states. “Especially in your world. However…”

Removing his boot from my captor, this man picks him up by his hair and throws him off to the middle of the road. Dusting his hands of the action, he places his hands on his hips as he looks around for a moment. “In my world, Heresy is welcome; for it only proves you can think for yourself, and not because someone told you. In my world, we punish those who look down on freedom in any shape or form. And, in my world…”

The man steps to me, bending down in front of my sight. I feel his arms snake around me, lifting me to his chest as we rise together. He walks us away from the street a small distance, standing in the grass in front of the church. The man turns us towards my captor once more, and I feel him sigh.

“…We provide those who deserve it their just deserts.”

With those words, a car that seemingly came from nowhere speeds through the street, crushing my previous captor under its tires. My eyes widen, a gasp escaping my throat. The man who has me in his arms tightens his grip on me, turning us away and towards the church. 

“You are safe now, little one. Welcome home.”

A shrill sound fills my ears, waking me from my dream. Goddamn it, the day has finally arrived. If only I could manage to steal just a few more moments in slumber before the chaos of the day begins…

…But The Third wouldn’t be too happy if I did. 

Forcing myself out of bed, I rub my eyes hard enough to see stars. I groan as I walk towards my closet, sliding the black door open to reveal a monochromatic wardrobe. Which black outfit for today, I wonder. As I rifle through each hanger, one catches my eye as the perfect choice for a day like today.

Today is a very special day within our church; the day a new Papa is anointed. It was a relatively short time with our Fourth, though it wasn’t without its notability. Once word got out that the Fourth’s twin brother was finally ready to take the throne, Nihil ensured his ascension was swift. He was the first choice, after all. I’m still not entirely sure how our Fourth is taking the change of leadership, neither. Every time I see him, he makes a point of moving along quickly. 

My position within the church is a sort of Papal Assistant to the Papas. I tend to each of their needs equally, ensuring efficiency amongst the leadership. It sounds simple, but I can assure anyone that it is quite the opposite. Considering every person of leadership is related to one another in some way, there tends to be a constant flow of drama or obstacles for what should be streamlined like any other ministry. If one of the brothers are mad at each other, it makes tasks difficult. If our Sister Imperator is inconvenienced, it’s even worse. But if Nihil is in one of his moods… nothing gets done.

Though I spend my time remedying their needs, I have no other purpose amongst the clergy. Members avoid me, ghouls don’t bother me, and even most of my Papas treat me like a nuisance half of the time. Not The Third, though. Considering he’s the one who vouched for me, who saved me that night, he holds a high regard for me. The other Papas didn’t understand his decision, especially Secondo. Secondo initially thought I was just going to be a screw, a pet for Terzo. But as it stands, Terzo has never thought of me in such a way. I owe my life to him, and therefore take on these thankless, remedial tasks in stride. Though, it’s never without my personal opinion to back it up. 

Pulling a mid-length black dress from my closet, I guide it over towards my vanity. I drop my pajamas to the floor, taking care to put them in the hamper before I move to my dresser to find accompanying underwear. Black, everything I fucking own is black. Though different variations and shades, at least. Once I pick out the set I’m most satisfied with, I slip them on before returning to my vanity to work on my makeup. 

My dress is pitch black, velvet. It has a high neckline that ends in a lace collar, with an intricate design over the chest. There are deep purple accents throughout the stitching; subtle, nothing that pulls your focus away. Using inspiration from that, I use a similar purple in my eyeshadow to blend in with black, and then sharp eyeliner over it. Placing dots at my inner corners and in the center point below my lower lid, I finish the look. Looking in the mirror, I feel I look terrifyingly evil… good.

Once that task is complete, I don my dress. It cinches just at the waist, accentuating my figure. The sleeves are long, extending to my hands with a loop that goes through my middle fingers. I feel the velvet softly, looking to admire the completed look in the mirror. I turn, pose, and turn some more, unable to tell what’s missing. 

All of a sudden, a tall man with white and black face paint appears in my reflection. I jump at the sight of Terzo, turning with my face flushed to hit his chest. “What the fuck?” I ask, flustered.

He laughs, eyeing me up and down. “Relax, little one. I came in while you were doing your makeup. You seem to be forgetting something, hm?” His voice is smooth, almost as velvety as my clothes. I roll my eyes at him, however. 

“Get out of my head, Terzo. But… Correct, I seem to be missing something.”

He nods, removing his hand from behind his back. “I found this in the Cardi-ahem, The Fourth’s office this morning. Any reason for that? Or…” he trails off, letting my Grucifix dangle from his hand with a single raised eyebrow punctuating his inquiry. 

I snatch the necklace from him, quickly putting it over my head and letting it fall naturally. “If you’re insinuating anything between Copia and I, then you’re a lunatic. No, I just hate how it gets in the way when I have to re-organize his books, so I take it off. the last thing that’ll happen between The Fourth and I would be sexual.”

Terzo chuckles, putting his hands up in playful surrender. “Alright, alright. I believe you for now, Lilith.” He steps towards me, looking at me up and down for a moment. His mouth scrunches as he thinks, then all of a sudden raises his eyebrows in excitement. “I know what else!” 

I frown at his realization, watching him as he quickly moves to my vanity. On top, there’s a small black organizer of different hair clips, ties, and adornments. Turning back towards me, he holds two silver pentagram barrettes in his hands. Stepping cautiously to me, Terzo takes the front pieces of my wavy black hair and pulls either side back, pinning them in place. Stepping back to admire his work, he nods with satisfaction. “Perfetta, see?”

I look in the mirror, seeing the finished look in its entirety. My face is no longer hiding in my hair, and I have just enough Satanized accessories to complete. I smile to myself, swaying my dress. “I see. Thank you, Terzo.”

”Always, little one. Now come. I’ll have you just help me today, everyone else is already far too nervous and annoyed with the preparations as it is.” He guides me towards my bedroom door, holding it open for me. I bow my head as I walk through and into the dark, open corridor of our church. I watch as he shuts the door, returning to my side to lead me through the hallways. 

“I appreciate your decision, your eminence. I can only imagine how everyone else is doing today, and my presence wouldn’t be a calming one…” I mutter, holding my head down. 

Terzo flicks his hand, waving off my apathy. “It’s nothing like that, it’s just… family drama, as usual. Our Fifth is the twin of Copia, you see, and refused to become anointed at the proper time because he was… ‘too busy’.” Terzo uses air quotes, rolling his eyes. “Copia is not pleased in the slightest, he feels as if his entire time as The Fourth could’ve been better spent as a Cardinal, still. Which, I do not blame him.”

”It’s kind of hard to, honestly.” I respond, trying to keep up with Terzo’s pace on our journey. 

He nods, rounding a corner towards his office. “Precisely, little one. So, I’ll keep you with me today as we do my preparations for the prodigal son’s return. Copia’s having a bitch fest with his rats, Secondo is acting as if it’s any other day and avoiding everyone, and Nihil and Sister Imperator are making sure the ceremony goes off without a hitch.”

I frown as we arrive to his office doors, crossing my arms. “Then what are we doing?”

A devious smile plays on Terzo’s lips as he takes the door handles. “We, my little one, are in charge of the after party.”

Terzo thrusts open the doors, revealing an absolute mess of party decorations and supplies. My jaw drops as I step inside, the sheer amount of items is… well, it’s just excessive. 

“Listen, I am only just one person… and a small one at that!” I say, exasperated already. 

A hearty laugh echos through the room from Terzo as he shuts the doors, locking them behind us. “That’s why we have ghouls! Ghouls!” He emphasizes, waving his arms to signal their entrance. 

Out of the next room, three Nameless Ghouls appear. My jaw drops as I witness their new uniforms, feeling a smile curl on the edge of my mouth. Affectionately known amongst the clergy as Dewdrop, Mountain and Swiss are donned in what appears to be glittery, skeletal marked suits… complete with top hats. Their masks are stark black, full faced, and simplistic in design, with a cutout around their mouths. Dewdrop removes his hat respectfully, showing off his horns that still hold a crack in one. As he bows, he smacks Mountain in the stomach. Mountain and then Swiss follow suit, causing me jokingly curtsy in response. 

“What the fuck is the wardrobe?” I ask, trying to stifle my laughter. 

Terzo roles his eyes, moving to sit on his desk. “It’s all a part of Five’s essence. You’ll see, little one. It’ll all make sense eventually. But, for now, let’s get the reception hall set up.” 

“What’s first, your eminence?” I ask, folding my hands over my stomach as I study the mess of items in front of me. 

“These three are going to load up everything and take it, but just throw everything around like how you normally would for a party. Clearly, we’re going purple in this new generation. Not exactly my first choice of color but…” Terzo squints for a moment, looking at me. “You’re ironically on par with your accent colors, Lil.”

I didn’t quite notice it at first, but he’s completely right. I shake my head, shrugging at the observation. “Lucky choice, I guess. Weird.”

He continues to frown for a moment, stepping off the desk and waving to the ghouls to begin moving. Terzo pulls me to the side, placing his hands on my shoulders and giving me a stern look. “Listen, Lilith,” he begins, his voice low and serious. “I know my brothers very well. I know Copia enough as well. But Five is… he is uncharted, unknown to me. Only so many things can be written off as coincidences, you know?”

I’m trying to follow his line of dialogue, but still remain utterly confused at his sudden insight. “Terzo…” I begin, just be cut off quickly by his finger at my lips. 

“This ascension is going to ignite something new and different for our church, Lilith. I advise you to remain cautious, vigilant. And don’t you ever forget I’m always here to protect you, no matter who it’s against. That’s all I can say for now, but please remember.” He removes his finger, straightening his posture. I stay confused, but he sounds so sure and serious regarding this. Pursing my lips together, I nod in agreement. 

“Understood, your eminence.” I respond.

His gaze drops, seemingly withholding any further warnings for now. His expression switches back to smiling, and he clasps his hands together. “Now that’s out of the way, off you go, little one. Decorate until your heart’s content. If you want, just tell Dewdrop to do anything that’s too heavy or… tall, for you to accomplish.”

I roll my eyes through his joke and accompanying chuckle. Giving him the middle finger, I swiftly turn on my heel to leave the office. Following slowly behind Dewdrop, we make our way across the campus and to a large reception hall. Already, most of the decorations are here. Lucifer, these ghouls always work so quickly.

I find a box on one of the tables closest to the door and decide that’s a good place to start. Opening it, I find nothing but purple tinsel and streamers. “Dark lord, he truly wasn’t kidding.” I mutter to myself. Looking around, I mentally map out where I can easily hang or tape these to look both inviting, yet somewhat elegant. Over the next few hours, the three ghouls and I manage to empty every single container filled with decorations and supplies. Towards the end of the boxes, we began finding the booze, and even some ancient bottles of what seems to be red wine. For all this work, I nearly feel obligated to at least have a taste… but I’ll behave for now.

It’s just before 6 in the evening, and the sun has begun to set. The ghouls and I managed to finish around 5, so everything would be perfect for a walk through prior to the ceremonies. I managed to escape during that, mainly to find some food in the kitchens since I worked through lunch. One of the sisters managed to sneak me some leftovers, and I had never been more grateful.

Loads of people are piling into the cathedral, eager to find the perfect seat to witness our new Papa. My gate is slow into the large room, my anxiety growing within this large crowd. Instead of vying for the perfect pew, I take the back staircase to the second floor high above the first, finding the balcony that overlooks the congregation mostly empty. I settle myself against a pillar, hiding in the shadow but still keeping a perfect view of the stage and altar. 

As the bell chimes, the organ comes to life. The congregation silences quickly, turning their collective attention towards the front of the room. Soon, our unholy leadership begins to file in. First is Sister Imperator, then Secondo, whose head hangs in clear annoyance over the affair. Following him are Terzo and The Fourth, both dressed in their respective chasubles. Finally, in his full glory and oxygen tank, Papa Nihil enters the room. The room is now pin drop silent, apart from his breathing apparatus.

The Papas and Sister take seats on either side of the podium, allowing Nihil to take center stage. Taking a deep breath through his oxygen mask, Nihil begins his monologue.

”Thank you, children of the darkness, for your attendance on such an important evening. Tonight, we welcome the anointment of my son, Papa V Perpetua. I am sure you all will treat him with the upmost respect as he begins his transition to our clergy.” With that, he takes another long breath through his mask. The congregation claps excitedly, and I watch some of the women fawn over their preconceived ideas of our new Papa.

Perpetua is quite the interesting name. He’s not an Emeritus, like the rest of his brothers. Of course, it does make sense, as he’s a twin… but still. I have a feeling this will not be the first thing that sets this man apart from his secular family.

”Is he- is he fucking here yet?” Nihil says, trying to cover the mic as he looks at Sister Imperator. She shrugs, causing him to wave her off, muttering about her insolence. All of a sudden Dewdrop runs up to Nihil at the podium, motioning towards the doorway he came from. “Ah! Good, okay. Ghouls and Ghoulettes, all rise and welcome your Papa V Perpetua.” The old man scurries off to the side, making way for his son.

I cross my arms, locking eyes with Terzo from my hidden spot on the balcony. I tense up from his stare, but nod as a response. He returns the nod, looking towards the doorway. The lights darken, and what sounds like thunder echos through the walls. The congregation below instantly falls for it, muttering amongst themselves instantly. Seems like this one could be just as dramatic as our Third.

Waltzing slowly towards the podium is a man in an extremely shiny chasuble, excessively adorned with black grucifixes and covered in purple. My eyebrow raises as I watch him, feeling a certain aura from his presence. Instead of black leather gloves, his hands are encased in silver. And most notable of all, he adorns a shiny mask over his eyes, and skeletal black and white makeup over the rest of his face. Now that’s different.

Gasps are heard throughout the room as he takes the podium. An audible click sounds as his hands touch the wood, and he begins to scan the room. Once he finishes looking at the congregation, his eyes snap right up to my position, causing me to freeze. The hereditary one green, one white set bear into me with an unknown intention. I can almost see him smirk from this distance.

”It is an honor to join the clergy as your Fifth. Let us be Satanized.” His eyes never leave mine, until he finishes his final word. With that, the man walks off the stage, and out through the opposite doorway from where he came.

…That’s it?

It seems that’s the general consensus from the clergy and the congregation. The clergy look amongst themselves, muttering for someone to address us. Sister Imperator grows annoyed, standing quickly to reach the podium. “Please join us in the ballroom for a celebration!” The mic begins to ring from the feedback, and everyone takes the cue quickly. I turn my attention back to Terzo, who looks utterly on edge.

Maybe he is correct on keeping my guard up. 

Chapter Text

I’ve waited for most of the people to file towards the ballroom, as to avoid the crowd. As opposed to the general population, I prefer to stick by myself for the most part. Crowds make me claustrophobic. Quite the opposite of most of the Papas, funnily enough. I think that’s why Terzo teases me about Copia so much - Copia sticks to himself a lot, always anxious, and doesn’t do anything too… flamboyant. He himself, the exact opposite of his predecessor.

I know the Papas will mostly take their time gathering to the reception, as to change from their Papal robes. If my assumptions are correct, then the recent three will instantly change into their preferred suits. Nihil and Sister Imperator will stay in their robes, as they’ll be the first to leave anyway. Curiosity makes me wonder how Papa V will present himself.

Walking slowly, I make my way through the hall towards the ballroom. Straggling members of the congregation speed past me with their friends, gushing over the quick yet iconic anointing. I overhear them whispering about our new Papa’s essence. 

Seems like it didn’t take very much or very long for him to become the new fan favorite.

I look down towards the floor as I hear something small scurry along. A large, brown rat narrowly avoids me before disappearing by the wall. I turn to see the Frater Imperator himself, Copia, speedwalking in his red suit. He looks up at me, slowing his pace. I frown, but welcome his company anyway.

”Papa IV,” I greet, folding my hands together as I bow towards him. He waves his hand at me, trying to erase the title.

”Hello, sister. I’m sorry if my friend startled you. I’m just… trying to get this appearance over with quickly.” He wrings his hands from his nerves, looking down at the floor as we continue our walk. 

I shake my head, smiling at the shy man. “It’s no worry, your eminence. I’m used to your friends by now. But, I am curious… why didn’t you just stay home?”

”I’m asking myself that right this second. But, Nihil says it’s important to be… friendly around my brother in front of the congregation. I figure I’ll just stay long enough for him to leave, drink myself stupid on wine, and slowly slip into the darkness.” He straightens his suit jacket, keeping confident in his plan. “What about you, sister? If I remember correctly, you’re not too fond of parties neither.”

I look up at him with an eyebrow raised, giving a non-convincing smile. “Appearances. Terzo had me set it up, he expects me to attend.”

”It seems we are both at the mercy of the clergy, against our instincts.”

“You can say that again.”

The rest of the walk is silent. Once we reach the doors, Copia holds one open for me to step through. Once inside, he beelines it towards the open bar and begins his mission. I, on the other hand, freeze in response to the sheer amount of people that are packed in here. It almost seems as if there’s double the people who showed up to the anointing.

From off to my right, I hear someone clear their throat. I turn my head quickly to find Terzo himself, dressed in an elegant black suit. His black hair is slicked back, and facial paint touched up. On his jacket pocket lies the grucifix to complete the look. He smirks as he walks towards me, handing me a flute of champagne. “You do not seem to dispel any rumors that run through my head about you and the Fourth.”

I roll my eyes, taking the glass. “Get over it, we are both equally grumpy about having to be here.”

Terzo wraps an arm around my shoulders, forcing us to scan the crowd. “It helps me keep an eye on you, and him, though he has not made his appearance as of yet. Plus… is this not my sort of scene?” He beams down at me, waggling his eyebrows. I playfully hit him, moving away from his arms. 

“Yeah yeah, we know how much you love the attention.”

”I was encouraged to provide a song tonight, so I do hope you at least stick around for it. It’s your favorite!”

I frown, shaking my head. “I’ll be hiding, but I will watch your performance of Cirice if that satisfies you.”

Terzo nods valiantly, seemingly satisfied with my answer. “That’s all I ask for, little one. Now, go do what you want. I have a crowd to arouse.” With that, he disappears. 

Terzo is one of the more… sexually active Papas in the clergy. He does his fair share of getting to know the women who make there way into our chapel. However, he’s never tried so much as to seduce me. I appreciate it, honestly. He’s handsome, and charming, but I see him more as a brother than anything else. 

Taking a long swig of my champagne, I finish it. I set the flute down on a nearby table before walking towards the bar. A ghoul, tending to everyone’s drinks, points at me and waves. I recognize him as Dewdrop. Of course they would have him be the one doing this. I ask him for a glass of whiskey, and scan the area as he gathers it for me. I spot Copia in a corner with a bottle of red wine, looking absolutely bored. Still, no sign of our guest of honor. 

Once my drink has arrived, I move to begin finding a quiet corner to sink into. Off towards the back of the room, there lies a set of couches lit only by a few candles. Bingo. 

As I sit, I look around at the hard work the ghouls and I poured into making this party a success. It’s small, completely thankless, and overall relatively insignificant… and yet, I still feel kind of proud to put it together. It’s good to watch other people enjoy it fully. 

I take a sip of my whiskey, setting the glass down on an end table next to me. As I watch ghouls begin to set the stage for Terzo’s, someone interrupts my train of thought with their voice.

”Is it alright if I sit here?”

Before me stands a man in an all black, rather shiny ensemble. The coat jacket is leather, but simplistic in design. At his collar is a jeweled skeleton, almost matching his eye mask. His hands are covered in leather gloves, and he sports the ghoulish makeup. I look up and watch our newest Papa tower over me, leaning against one of the chairs in my vicinity. In response to his presence, I stand quickly and bow.

“Apologies, your eminence. I can leave if you need the space.” I say quietly, holding my head down.

I hear a low chuckle from the man in front of me, seeing him step towards me. “It’s alright, sister. I came to join you.”

Lifting my head up, I give Papa V a puzzling look. “Why me?”

”Well, it’s my understanding that you’ll be my assistant here. I figure why not get to know the person who’s going to be my right hand.” He sits on the couch across from me, crossing his legs. “I’m, as you know, Papa V Perpetua. But you can call me just Perpetua - I know the title is kind of a mouthful.”

I realize quickly my mouth is agape, so I quickly fix that before taking my seat in a more polite manner. Sitting straight, I tangle my fingers together as my mind races with anxiety. “It’s an honor to meet you, Perpetua. I am Sister Lilith. And yes, I’m the Papal assistant to you and your family.”

”The honor is all mine, Lilith. I’ve heard nothing but positive things coming from Emeritus the Third. He speaks very highly of you. Have you known him long?”

I shrug, reaching for my glass to calm my nerves. “Just for the past two years, since I joined the church. He was the one who baptized me and offered me the position to become an assistant.”

”Ahh, I see. So you’re still rather new then?” Perpetua leans in towards me, seemingly curious.

It’s at this time that I can hear Terzo’s voice in my head to stay cautious.

”Afraid so. Still know more than you, though.” I quip, trying to come off as more confident than how I truly feel. Somehow it works, and Perpetua laughs at the comment.

”That may be true, Lilith. You have me there.”

We sit in silence for a moment, hearing the roaring crowd and clanking of metal as the stage continues to be set up. For some reason, the new Papa seems to be content in just sitting in silence with me. Feeling weird about it, I turn to look at him again. “Why are you here, instead of mingling with your congregation, Perpetua?”

I hear him suck in a breath, looking down at the glass of red wine. He takes a small sip before swirling it around. “Not a fan of crowds, dear Sister.”

Ah, so just like his brother.

”I’m surprised Copia isn’t here, then. I’d think you two would be at the hip.”

“Copia and I have a… let’s just say, strained relationship. Even before the Papacy. He was quite upset when I told Nihil I couldn’t take the new position in time.”

I nod along, watching the way he speaks about his brother. It almost seems as if he’s completely detached from the situation. Just before I’m about to inquire further, a roar erupts from the crowd head of us. I snap my gaze towards the stage, seeing the lights begin to shine for Terzo’s performance.

”Ah, I see my main event is about to begin. Join me, will you, Lilith?” Perpetua stands, holding an arm out to me. I know Terzo would be furious, but for some odd reason I can’t bring myself to refuse the gesture. Setting my empty whiskey glass down, I stand to loop my arm through his. Like the other Papas, he stands significantly taller than me - at least by half a foot, even in my bootie heels. I catch a glimpse of what looked to be a smirk on his face before he turns his head and leads us to the edge of the crowd.

”Good evening my eager audience. First, allow me to thank you all for coming to celebrate the anointing of our new Papa, Perpetua. Let us begin the ritual with a classic, shall we?” Terzo smirks as he adjusts his mic stand, scanning the crowd. His eyes land on me, and slightly widen at the sight of the guest of honor standing with me. I just nod my head subtly, trying to tell him from afar that I’m about as safe as I can be.

The music begins, and the crowd roars to life. As the performance goes on, I quietly sing along from our position. I catch Perpetua stealing glances as my voice slightly raises higher than the crowd’s, causing me to lower it just as quickly. Terzo follows the song up quickly with He Is, before stepping off the stage. I watch him make a beeline towards me, quite unsubtly I might add. I remove my arm from Perpetua’s grasp in an instant, holding my arms out to keep Terzo at bay.

”I thought I told you-“ Terzo begins, stopping himself. He looks into my pleading eyes, a silent reminder to keep calm. “Are you alright?” He asks, kinder this time.

I let out a sigh, gesturing towards the new Papa behind me. “I’m fine, Terzo. He and I were just watching the ritual. Everything is alright.” I say calmly, trying to keep wandering eyes from our small group.

I hear Perpetua clear his throat behind us. “I’m sorry, Terzo. I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries. I fear it’s time for me to leave anyway… it was nice meeting you, Lilith.” Perpetua nods a bow at the two of us before disappearing into the darkness of the back of the room. Turning towards Terzo, I smack his shoulder.

”You are not the best welcoming committee, my Papa.” I warn, crossing my arms over my chest.

Terzo rolls his eyes, taking me by the small of my back towards the bar. He orders us whiskeys, taking a seat and gesturing for me to follow. “I told you about my feelings. There are reasons for them, you know? The way things are playing out right now… I can’t give you details little one. Just trust me.” Dewdrop drops off our drinks, nodding in agreement at Terzo’s confession.

I roll my eyes, taking a large gulp of this new beverage. “I understand, but making a scene in front of the congregation isn’t ideal and you know it.”

”I always make a scene! It’s kind of my thing.”

”Yeah, but… I don’t know. It’s not my place. He came up to me, he initiated the entire thing. I was just being respectful.”

Terzo’s expression softens, reaching to squeeze my hand. “I know, little one. And I will have to better control my protectiveness over you. Especially with how everything will play out soon…” He punctuates his ominous sentence with a sip of his whiskey. I frown at the comment, but brush it off anyway. If I tried to spend every waking moment analyzing what Terzo tells me… well, I wouldn’t be able to get anything done.

”You should go, get your rest. I know these things are exerting for you. Thank you for all of your help today, Lily.” Terzo turns to me with a smile, standing and holding his hand out. I watch for a second, studying his posture before I stand and take his hand. Swiftly, the man pulls me into a tight hug before pushing me away towards the door. “And no Copia-fucking!”

I laugh as I walk away, shaking my head enough for him to tell. As I walk out of the ballroom, I feel an immense pressure become lifted. I nearly forgot how suffocating interactions like that can get… it’s a good thing I am able to leave as easily as that.

Once I make it back to my room, I shed the day’s clothing and crawl into my bed. Curling into a ball amongst my sheets, I instantly feel my tiredness overcome me. I can’t even bother to shut my lamp off as dreams flood my thoughts.

Though tonight, they’re filled with visions of a deep, purple forest.

Chapter Text

Darkness surrounds me. Ominous, jagged trees spread out as far as I can see. In the distance a small lantern shines - a beacon that beckons me.

I look to my feet, noticing them bare. Underneath them, the leaves crunch as I walk. If it wasn’t for that, this walk would be completely silent. Slowly I cross the forest towards the light that seems to never get any closer. All of a sudden, in the distance, I hear a branch snap.

I turn towards the sound, my breath catching in my throat. My entire body freezes at the sudden realization that I am not alone here. Whatever has found me, cannot be touched by the light; as the sound moves closer, I never see what it may be.

I hear the steps stop as they seemingly land directly in front of me. Slowly, a silhouette of a person begins to take shape. Yet, it’s still clouded in darkness. Blinking rapidly, I try to focus my vision on them. “Shhhh… Noli solliciti esse... solus non ambulabis.”

The words are foreign to me, but the voice… who is that voice…?

A hand reaches toward mine, taking it cautiously. The coldness of the fingers shock me, but provide comfort at the same time. I look towards the person’s face, still unable to see who it is.

“Mox, Lilith.”

I shoot forward in my bed, gasping for air at the conclusion of my dream. My alarm is blaring, causing me to slam my fist on it to keep it from making anymore sound. My ears are still ringing, and a massive migraine begins to take shape.

What in the absolute hell was that dream?

I groan, holding my head in my hands. Fuck, I should not have drank as much as I did in the short time I was at the reception last night. It’s a good thing I left when I did… who knows if I’d even be able to wake up on time for work.

All of a sudden, my phone starts ringing at top volume. The shrill sound of my ringtone tears through my ear drums, causing me to audibly groan once more. I click the button on it once to silence it, then open my eyes to read who’s calling. Of course… Terzo.

I lift the phone to my ear, sighing into the mic. “It’s too fucking early, and I have a migraine.”

His laughter sounds from the speaker, causing me to yank the phone from my ear. “Too much whiskey, eh? Maybe the Fourth got too crazy with you in the night?” He teases.

”Fuck off, and fuck you.” I mumble, lying back down on my pillow.

”Oh, such a feisty little one this morning. Well listen, I’ll cut it short then. You’re being… reassigned.”

The statement causes me to snap out of my hangover. I frown to myself, gripping the phone tighter. “What did I do?”

”Nothing! Nothing bad, I should say. You’re just not going to be the clergy assistant anymore, much to my dismay.” I can hear the dissatisfaction in his voice. “No, you’re going to be a single Papa’s assistant going forward… And this part I’m not happy about, it’s for the Fifth.”

I can’t bring myself to say anything, my brow furrowing more. Why on earth would they choose me to be the new Papa’s sole assistant? I can barely handle the tasks of existing clergymen… let alone a brand new one.

”I can hear your brow furrowing from this side of the phone, Lily.”

”Can you blame me?”

”No, because mine is too. I guess you made a decent first impression, and considering all I’ve raved about you to Nihil… it’s your time to shine, little one. You’ll start at noon, in his eminence’s office. It’s two doors down from mine, so you’ll be close. Okay?”

I look over towards my clock, seeing that it’s only 7. I sigh from relief, nodding my head as if Terzo could see me. “Alright, understood. I guess I should thank you for everything then…”

He laughs again. “It’s not like you’re going away, little one. Just don’t have to deal with my bullshit anymore… or, as much as usual. I’ll still find a way to annoy you.”

This time I chuckle, but instantly feel regret as my migraine waves through. “I’m sure you will, Terzo. I’m going to go back to sleep for a minute, okay?”

”Feel better, Lilith.”

Hanging up the phone, I instantly turn to cover my face in the pillow. Well, at least one good thing comes from this… sleeping in.

On the bright side, after a couple hours more of sleep, I did not have anymore ominous dreams. My migraine has dulled slightly, though not completely gone. Slowly I rise out of bed, and make my way to determine what I’ll wear to work for today; keeping in mind I’ll be flying blind into whatever Perpetua will have me doing.

I choose a modest black shirt, long sleeved as usual, that’s form fitting without being too salacious. Then, a long flowing black skirt to match, and my typical black boots. I proceed to apply my makeup as I normally do - black, sharp wings with a small amount of eyeliner on the lower outer corners of my eyes. I place my symmetrical dots on the inner corners and at the edge of the wings, and lean back to study the look. Decent. Nothing too extravagant, but ties the look together seamlessly.

I glance over at the clock, seeing it’s now 11:30. I throw my hair up into a bun and don my grucifix before grabbing my phone and leaving the room, locking my door behind me. Straightening out my shirt, I take one deep breath before I start my journey towards the Papa’s office.

Perpetua’s office is a few doors down from Terzo’s as he said, which means it is the closest to the chapel. I glance inside the doors as I walk by, noticing a few of the congregation inside, praying. I bow my head back down as I continue passing by out of respect. Finally making it to Perpetua’s office, I knock three times. On the other side of the door I hear a crash, which causes me to frown. What the hell could be going on in there already?

I take the doorknob in my hand, slowly turning it as I peek my head through the door. “Perpetua? It’s me, Lilith… Oh.”

On the floor in front of a large wooden desk lies the Papa in question; flat on his face. He shoots up to look at me, shocked apparently. His mask is slightly askew, so he quickly fixes it before stumbling to stand. I move into the room quickly, shutting the door quietly behind me as I watch him with a worried expression. Perpetua brushes off his suit, clearing his throat. “Sister Lilith! Oh, I almost forgot what time it was. I’m sorry; I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” He hurriedly says.

I look around his feet, seeing books strewn about where he was lying. I raise an eyebrow, adjusting my gaze to him. “A bit, yeah.”

”Well! Uh, you see this book shelf behind my desk?” He gestures towards it, nerves in his voice. I nod in response. “I was trying to get some things up top there and must have… well, you saw.”

Lucifer, he truly is Copia’s twin brother.

I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. “You know we have step ladders, right?”

Perpetua shrugs, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t really think ahead here.”

I move to start picking up the books on the floor. As I hand a few to him, I smirk. “It’s okay, that’s what I’m here for. Apparently.”

”And I cannot thank you enough. I’m sorry about… this. I’ve never had a Papal assistant before, so just bear with me please?”

I nod, giving him a genuine and comforting smile. He seems to have a decent amount of humility, which I never see with the Fourth. In this light, and up close, I can’t help but better study his face painting. The sides of his cheeks are completely black, unlike the others who are more anatomically correct. Around his mouth is a more gray color, with black lipstick and a black nose under his mask. This mask is more plain and silver, unlike the ornate one he was wearing last night. His hair is a bit longer than Copia’s too, and quite curly and dark.

I must have been staring for too long, as he begins to clear his throat at me. I shake my head, clasping my hands together. “Sorry, your eminence.”

”It’s okay. And you don’t have to be so formal… I’m just a guy.” Perpetua turns to place the books on his desk.

”You’re the newest Papa, Perpetua… I kind of have to be.”

He shrugs, giving me a half smile. “Then just in here then. I won’t tell.” With that, his white eye winks at me. I feel a blush on my face as I move my hand to my cheek, trying to hide it.

”So, um…” I begin, looking around the office. “What’s first, Perpetua?”

He turns to look around with me, making a mental list. Perpetua shrugs, turning back towards me. “I’m not entirely sure… I’ve never had an assistant before.”

I frown, biting my lip in thought. I wonder what he’s been doing all this time, if it wasn’t with the church. I imagine he’s probably more confused than I am. Walking to the other side of his desk, I study a pile of folders, papers, and a calendar hidden underneath. It’s completely blank.

”Do you know where you are in rotation?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at the Papa. 

“Before Secondo, after Nihil.”

I nod, taking the stack of folders and the calendar. “Okay, simple enough. I’ll just take these and start mapping your sermons down. I assume you’ll probably take confessions in the same order, as well…” I trail off, looking towards a sitting area next to a few bookshelves. “Let me grab you that step ladder and we can get to work.” I plop the materials down on the coffee table, clasping my hands in front of my stomach with a smile.

Perpetua stares at me, mouth agape. I shake my head, patting his shoulder as I walk past him towards a closet. Inside, I grab a step ladder, and bring it over to him. “I don’t know a lot, but I do know duties and where things are. I’m here to help you, okay?”

Perpetua nods, taking the ladder from me softly. “I’m sorry, it’s going to take me a while to get used to all of this…”

In response I shake my head. “Don’t worry. Just focus on making this a comfortable space for you to be in, and I’ll do all of the mundane shit.”

“Thank you, Lilith.” His voice is strong, sincere. I smile up at him, bowing my head before turning back towards the sitting area.

From there, over the course of a few hours, I spend my time mapping out Perpetua’s calendar. In the files I grabbed were information regarding special sermons, gatherings and rituals, and a few retreats. There seems to be no tours yet in the books, but I assume there will be in order to bring the new Papa in front of the masses. As I work and he organizes, I hear Perpetua hum to himself a melody.

”What are you humming?” I ask, peeking at him from my spot on the couch.

Perpetua sits at his desk, a leather bound book in his hands. He looks at me quickly, being shaken out of his trance. “Oh uh, nothing. Just something I’ve been writing and working on.”

My curiosity piqued, I squint at him. “Have a name yet?”

”You’d laugh if I told you.”

”Try me.” I place my fist under my chin, looking to him intently.

He hesitates for a moment before setting the book down. He takes a small piece of paper out of his pocket, and after rising to his feet and gliding over to me, sticks his hand out. I take the page and open it, seeing a list of titles crossed out before reading one at the bottom in big, thick lettering. Satanized.

I smile to myself, nodding. “It’s perfect.”

”You think so?” A smile pricks at his lips, seemingly excited that I would think so.

”I look forward to hearing it.” I hand him back the page, flipping through his calendar. “Although, I wouldn’t scrap the rest of those names, either. Lachryma sounds like it could be a ground breaking ritual.”

“Do you know what that means?” He asks, placing the paper back in his suit pocket. I shake my head, returning my gaze to him. “Tears, in Latin.”

I nod, smiling. “Sounds like it could be a ballad in the making.”

Perpetua sits back at his desk, nodding silently. “Could be.”

Gathering up all of my used materials, now organized, I stand and walk over to Perpetua’s desk. “Alright, so I’ve got all of your things so far in the books.” I move the stack of folders to the side, turning the calendar towards him as he straightens his posture. “Sermons are due for review the Friday before, so you always have plenty of time to get them written. They have to go through the Big Three before being presented to the congregation. Even their own sermons have to be checked and balanced, so don’t feel weird about it.” I look up at him, making sure he follows along. “Confessionals are simple, you just essentially hold office hours in the evenings in the booth. You have some large events that I found in your folders here that I marked, but a lot of them are tentative dates, so I wrote them down differently. Some things have week and day reminders, so you don’t forget, um…” I trail off, trying to remember everything.

Perpetua places his hand on mine, a cold touch that snaps my attention. “Thank you, so much… this is a lot.” He says, his voice low.

I shake my head, avoiding his eyes. “It’s honestly one of the simpler duties, don’t worry.”

“Seems like the right choice was made after all.”

I look up at him, seeing his intense gaze. Our hands still linger together for a moment, before he breaks the touch. He clears his throat, leaning back in his chair. “I think that’s good enough for the first day, hm? I imagine you typically work earlier hours, so you can go if you want…”

I turn to look at the clock, noticing it’s already almost six. Looking back at Perpetua, I smile. “If you need my help with anything more, I’m more than happy to stay.”

He looks like he’s trying to say something, but can’t get the words out. After a moment of silent deliberating, he nods his head. “The song that I need for my first sermon. I have everything, I just want another opinion without it being another Papa…”

My heart flutters at his words. As much as I remain confused on where I stand here, I always find comfort in the music these clergymen produce for the masses. It’s the best part about this religion, in all honesty. I nod eagerly. “Of course, for Satanized?”

”Precisely. Here, the ghouls and I have already recorded it. Take a listen, please?” Perpetua hands me his phone, headphones already attached. I place them over my head, nodding as I’m ready. Perpetua presses play, and in an instant my ears are filled with a guitar sending shivers down my spine. Dewdrop’s masterful chords are flooding my senses before Perpetua’s voice strikes through.

I lose myself in the song, finding the tune catchy and the lyrics biting at my soul. It tells the story of his fall towards the church, shedding light on what I assume to be his feelings on everything around him. As the song concludes, I break myself out of the trance. Perpetua sits on the edge of his chair, tapping his fingers anxiously.

”That’s fucking amazing.” I say, handing back the headphones.

His face lights up, a smile spreading from ear to ear. “You think so?”

”I know so. The congregation is going to love it, Perpetua.”

He nods, unable to contain his happiness. “Good, good, I’m glad…”

I start to gather myself, looking around the office once more as I prepare to leave. “Lilith?” Perpetua calls, snapping my attention back to him. “Thank you, for today. I know it wasn’t much but… I really do appreciate your help in all of this.”

”It’s what I do, don’t worry.” I smile warmly, giving him a quick bow. Perpetua rises to his feet, walking around his desk to stand in front of me. He places a hand on my cheek, studying my face for a moment.

”Have a good night, Lilith.” He says quietly, his voice a low tone.

“And to you, Perpetua.” I whisper back, feeling my face blush once again. I turn quickly, gliding through the door and shutting it softly as I exit. For a moment, I lean my back against it, taking a deep breath to calm myself after that moment.

Though I can hear Terzo’s warnings in my head, I begin to think this may be an interesting arrangement after all. 

Chapter Text

I’ve made my way towards the dining hall, finding it nearly empty by the time I arrive. A few Siblings of Sin dot the tables, but for the most part it’s a ghost town. After taking my helping of tonight’s meal — spaghetti, meatballs, and garlic bread — I sit myself in the farthest corner of the room. As other siblings walk by, their hushed whispers cut through my concentration.

”She’s always so alone.” One whispers.

”She’s a stray, what do you expect? The only reason she’s here is because the Third wanted a pet.” Says another.

”Boy, I wish Terzo would choose me as his pet.”

I roll my eyes at the gossip, keeping my head down in order to avoid confrontation. One of the biggest catalysts of my feelings of displacement is the treatment from the other Siblings. Though I know we serve the Dark Lord, these people can be absolutely brutal in their arrogance. Terzo sees it, and doesn’t make it any better by holding me closer when it gets to me. He’s protective by nature, even if it’s to a fault.

I quickly finish my food, bringing my dirty dishes to a bus bin near my corner. As I hold my head down, I begin to make my way towards my room to officially wind down for the evening.

The dark corridors expand around me, a maze amongst the stone walls. Perpetua’s melody of Satanized replays in my head as I walk, already making its mark amongst my thoughts. The pleas to be saved, the pain of becoming darker slowly taking hold. It sounds as if something had shifted in him in order for him to join the church after a lifetime away. I can only grow more curious about the new Papa as I learn about him.

He’s similar, yet starkly different than his twin. For one, he speaks more than Copia. Copia has always been known to remain to himself, stay quiet, and almost always has his nose in a book. He would almost never acknowledge me when I worked with him, just enough to guide me in my duties. Though, I’d see his people pleasing side a lot more. Between changing his face makeup and the style of his lyrics, once he became a Papa he did better to play a part of charismatic cult leader. Though still, behind closed doors, he’s the quiet, brooding bookworm who would rather hang out with rats than anything standing on two legs.

Perpetua seems to be a breath of fresh air when it comes to having dealt with Copia. He talks, he’s charming… Respectful. Very baseline so far, but trending in the right direction. I wonder why Terzo is so messed up when it comes to Perpetua.

I finally reach my door, unlocking it and swiftly moving inside my humble walls. The first thing I do is rip off my boots, shuffling slowly towards my bed before falling into it. I still feel the effects of this morning’s hangover, albeit not to the same magnitude. I sigh to myself as I look up at the ceiling, tired yet wide awake.

Lifting myself off the bed, I shed the rest of my clothes before walking to my sink to wash off my makeup. Blackened soap sinks down the drain as I turn the water off. Once I finish wiping my face, I turn to go back to my bed. As I walk out, my phone starts ringing. I swear, if Terzo is already trying to find out about how today went…

The caller ID is blank. I frown, looking at the screen for a moment. Eventually, I answer. “Who is this?” I ask with a stern tone.

”Lilith! Sorry, I forgot to give you my phone number earlier. This is Perpetua,” his voice sings over the speaker. I sigh to myself, glad it’s him.

“Oh you’re fine, I promise. Did you need something?”

There’s silence on the other end of the line for a moment, and the sound of Perpetua stammering. I roll my eyes, smirking to myself as I hear him. “I mean, I, well. Yeah. I do. You know how I showed you my song list? Well, my minds been going about one on it, Peacefield. I’ve got the lyrics written, we have a demo for it. But it’s… it’s missing something. I hope you wouldn’t mind if I sent you the demo and you can tell me?”

I raise an eyebrow to myself, feeling caught off guard to be asked to assist with one of the songs. “I mean, sure. I wouldn’t mind.”

”Perfect! Okay, I’ll send it to you, listen to it when you can, and we can talk about it when you get into the office tomorrow?”

”Of course, Perpetua.” I smile to myself, feeling honored to help him with something as important as this.

”Thank you, Lilith. Truly. Have a good night, okay?” With that, he hangs up the phone. I set mine down, looking up at my ceiling as I wait for the file to be sent.

Once it appears through text, I grab my earbuds to give it a listen. The beginning is a choral verse, with his head voice providing the lyrics. It’s starkly different than the usual voice that the Papas use for their songs. Once the verse finishes, Dewdrop’s guitar cuts through, and his chest voice returns. The song is raw in its unedited, unrefined version. It’s an incredible portrayal of humanity’s struggles through history, plagued with war and politics throughout each generation. But above all, love shines through, again and again. The song name itself being the opposite of battlefield, an apt name. I smile to myself as it concludes, the guitar ringing through my ears.

In my opinion, I feel as if a softer, more unheard voice should be in the beginning. A different voice to set the stage for the story he aims to convey. I make a mental note of this, but also that he has an incredible talent for writing - as does all of the Papas. Placing my phone on its charger along with my earbuds, I drift off into a deep, deep sleep.

My eyes open to the forest from before, the dead leaves surrounding me. As I look around, I find the tantalizing lantern again. The air is cool, the forest dead silent around me. I look down at my body this time, seeing my clothes for the first time — black boots, leggings, and a black skirt that clings to my thighs. My shirt is sparkling in a way I can’t quite focus my vision on, but can see the sleeves reaching my fingertips in the way my dress at the reception did. Feeling my face, I find a mask that sits just over my eyes… incredibly reminiscent of Perpetua’s.

All of a sudden, I hear calculated footsteps from the distance — the shadow person. They stop just before me, not a single part of them discernible as before. They reach out to me, taking my hand in mine once more, and bringing it up to their lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

”Who are you?” My voice breaks out, sounding more like a whisper than anything.

“Amicus.” The response, though still in Latin, somehow rings in my ears as understandable.

”If you’re a friend, then why can’t I see you?”

The figure drops my hand from their lips, stepping closer to me. I feel them place their other hand in my hair, caressing the back of my head as they pull me into their embrace. They’re cold, but at the same time — unnervingly warm in the embrace.

”Omnia mox revelabuntur. Memento tenebras sequi.”

With that, they disappear, leaving me alone once again.

All will be revealed soon. Remember to follow the darkness.

In the morning, I wake up far better than I did the last time I had such a dream. I’m still left with far more questions than answers, though. Who is this person? Why can’t I see them? What is with the lantern? Why does the presence feel more familiar than foreign?

Instead of answering any of these questions, I turn over to answer a different one - why on earth my alarm isn’t blaring into my ear. As I look at the time, that question is answered - it’s 10:30.

Well, I’ve missed breakfast.

Groaning as I tear myself from my blankets, I make my way to the bathroom to begin my morning routine. As I start the water to wash my face, I pull on a large t shirt to wear until my makeup is done. As I begin my morning skin routine, I hear my door open and shut. Of course, the only person willing enough to waltz right into my room like this would be —

“Good morning little one! I brought food!”

Terzo appears in the bathroom doorway, a bag in his hand and a cheeky smile across his face. I turn to look at him with a frown, but it’s instantly gone as I see the bag. “You know, one of these days I’m going to start locking that door.”

He laughs, clicking his tongue as he sets the bag at my vanity. “I’ll just use my key! You can’t escape me that easily, Lilith.”

”Don’t remind me.”

As I begin applying treatments and moisturizer to my skin, Terzo returns to lean against the doorframe. He stares at me silently, smirking to himself as I continue. “I mainly came to check on you after your first day with the… uh, V. And then I didn’t see you at breakfast, so it only made sense for your favorite Papa to bring you food and listen to any news you might have.”

I pat my face dry with a towel, looking over at him and rolling my eyes. “V? That’s what you’re calling him now?”

”Well, I’m Terzo, then there was Secondo, Primo and Nihil. Then we got the Cardinal, but we all still just refer to him as Copia…”

Looking at him with a frown, I shrug. “Then call him Perpetua.”

”Is that what you call him?”

”It is his name.”

”It’s his title, little one. Just easier and more formal than whatever was given at birth.” Terzo moves out of the way as I leave the bathroom, grabbing the bag of food from the table and fishing what seems to be a large breakfast burrito from it. I quickly get to work devouring the food, not realizing how hungry I was before. Terzo chuckles at my feral way of eating, proceeding to take a seat next to me on my bed.

After I swallow a few bites, I turn my attention back to him. “It was a good first day. Just clerical shit, nothing weird or noteworthy. I can say he is a lot more pleasant than Copia. More talkative, less rats…”

Terzo lets out a breathy laugh. “Less rats is always a good thing. I’ll never understand that man’s infatuation with them.”

”Hey! They’re the Fourth’s friends, I’m just pointing out the differences between the twins as I see them.”

”Sure, sure. I get it.” He looks down at me longingly, watching me finish this burrito quickly. “You’re staying safe? Aware?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Terzo.” Here he goes.

”Good. I still don’t know what it is about him, but I’m worried it’s more serious than what it seems. I mean, you have to see it from my point of view, Lily. All of a sudden, we find out that the Copia has a twin that Nihil and Sister Imperator gave birth to back in the day. Had him sent to live with relatives, completely away from the church. He refuses to take the throne for a year, citing ‘unavoidable circumstances’ that he needed to tend to. Then he shows up, clad in sparkles, and now my ghouls are wearing top hats.”

It honestly seems that Terzo is more jealous over his iconic arrival than anything.

”I don’t see how that could mean I’m in any danger.” I say, balling up the bag and wrappers before pitching it to the trash can. I move to sit at my vanity, placing my hair in a messy bun before I look back at Terzo through the mirror.

He shakes his head, standing to place himself behind my chair, resting his hands on my shoulders. “Just stay cautious. I worry for you, you know this.”

I sigh, looking at him through the mirror. I shake my head, pulling out some of my makeup items. “You know, people think of me as your pet.”

Terzo frowns above me, slightly tightening his grip on my shoulders. “What does that mean?”

Shrugging, I start swiping on my foundation. “Out of all the things people say about me here, I really stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago.”

His expression changes to that of sympathy, softening his grip. “I didn’t really notice how the other siblings of sin treat you, Lilith.”

”Why do you think I am the way I am? Closed off, nose down. Speak when spoken to. I don’t have… friends, here. I just keep at my work.”

He nods, stepping away from my chair for a moment. I continue my makeup routine, wondering what could be brewing in his brain. Terzo is a lot of things, calculated being one. He’s never one to be less than two steps ahead of situations, so I think this probably perplexes him more than I realized it would.

”I’ve got to go settle some things this morning, little one. I’ll be in my office if you need me, alright?” Terzo replaces his thoughtful look with a smile, bidding me farewell before I could question anything. Within a few seconds, he’s gone, and I’m alone one again. These Papas truly leave me dumbfounded, again and again.

Once I finish my makeup, I move to decide today’s outfit. I figure since it’s a lot of easy work these first few days, I’ll wear a simple black dress with long sleeves. This one hugs my body, stopping just above my knees. The sleeves on this one are my favorite - instead of stopping at my wrists, the sleeves have thumb holes to reach my knuckles. I finish the look with my hair down, and my typical black boots. After one last glance in the mirror, and replacing my grucifix, I head out to Perpetua’s office.

The hallways are quieter this time of day. I was easily able to make it from my room to Perpetua’s office in just under 5 minutes, completely undisturbed. I look down the hall at Terzo’s door as I arrive, wondering what he could be up to after our conversation. My thoughts are interrupted by the door in front of me swinging open, and an excited Perpetua standing on the other side.

”You’re finally here! Please, come in, Lilith.” He gestures for me to enter, smiling excitedly.

I look at him with my eyebrows raised, but a smirk grows on my lips. “I’m not late, am I?” I ask, entering the room.

”No, I just have been entirely too anxious to know what you think about the song. Please, come, sit with me. I have Sodo here as well.”

With that, Perpetua leads me to the sitting area I was working from yesterday. I frown, unaware of who Sodo could be. I walk cautiously towards the area, before my demeanor instantly changes. Dewdrop sits at the couch, waiting with his hands folded in his lap. His head shoots up to see me, and instantly begins waving. Looking between him and Perpetua, I frown, but sit next to Dewdrop anyway. “Hello there, Dewdrop.”

Perpetua smacks his forehead as he sits across from us, shaking his head. “Apologies, I forget you know him by a different name. His true name is Sodo, at least, that’s what he prefers.”

”You speak ghoul?” I ask Perpetua, raising an eyebrow.

”All Papas can speak to ghouls. Otherwise, how would we make the music work?”

I mean, he isn’t wrong.

“Makes sense. Anyways… I assume we’re going to listen to Peacefield?”

Perpetua nods. “I want to listen to it one more time before we start throwing ideas out there. I always want to improve, and considering the shoes I’m filling… it’s going to be the first track on the album. I want it to be something that the congregation can listen to and understand, to resonate with.”

I nod, smiling as I listen to Perpetua’s dedication. “Of course. What’s this church without its music and how well makes people like us feel seen?”

”Exactly! Okay, okay, I’ll shut up.” With that, Perpetua pulls out his phone, pressing play. The song begins to emit from speakers on one of his bookshelves, the raw instruments filling our hearing.

I watch Perpetua as we listen. He holds his head down, his dark curly hair curtaining around his face. He nods and taps his foot along, emphasizing some lyrics with hand movements. Dew- I mean, Sodo, taps his foot along as well. We exchange a glance together, nodding as we look away. I’ve always liked this ghoul more than the others. Even though he and I have never talked, he’s always a bit more animated towards me than the others.

Once the song concludes, Perpetua turns the speakers off and clasps his hands together. “So, thoughts? Concerns? Lady’s first, of course.”

I place my chin in my hands, pursing my lips together as I look at Perpetua. “I really enjoy it, honestly. It’s perfect as a first track and the introduction to your era.”

”What’s it missing, though?”

I think to myself for a moment, contemplating not telling him my ideas. But, it’s not like I’ll be chastised for even suggesting something. “The choir in the beginning. It’s a perfect interlude, but I think it needs something… different.”

”I wonder if we have the same idea, Lilith.” Perpetua leans closer, his white and green eyes fixated on mine.

”Female vocals as the main instead of yours?”

Perpetua snaps, standing and pointing at me. “I think the same thing! It’ll be softer, makes the transition to the verse even more dramatic.”

”Who doesn’t love a small timid voice to introduce you to something new?”

”Exactly! Ahh, perfect Lilith. Okay. Combined with what Sodo and I were coming up with to change, I think we’ll have a finished track along with Satanized. Two down!”

I smile, feeling proud of my assistance. I watch Perpetua run back to his desk, I frown once more. “Wait, but who are you going to have sing?”

Like he was waiting for his cue, Terzo steps into the office with his arms crossed over his chest. He stands between Perpetua and I, smirking defiantly.

“Hello, little one. I think I found a solution to some of your problems.”

Chapter Text

Perpetua looks between my confused expression and Terzo’s smug one, hands folded in front of his chest in a sign of hesitancy. His mouth hangs open, trying to come up with words to support Terzo’s introduction. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sodo sneak out of the room, clearly not wanting to watch whatever is about to happen unfold.

I stare at Terzo in utter disbelief, given the conversations we’ve had about Perpetua. His smug look doesn’t falter the longer we stand in silence; in fact, I fear it grows deeper into the creases of his skin.

”I’m fuckin sorry?” I ask, blinking.

Terzo lets out a chuckle, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of Perpetua’s desk. Perpetua, in turn, sits in his. With his legs crossed, Terzo turns towards me, gesturing for me to follow suit. I don’t, instead I cross my arms over my chest.

He rolls his eyes, leaning back in his seat. “After my departure this morning, I came and spoke with young Perpetua here. I don’t need to bore you with all of the details… I papà devono mantenere i loro segreti.” He winks at Perpetua, causing the man to hang his head low. “He had the same idea you do, way before you even came here. Since I know you have a natural aptitude for singing…”

”Enough…” I say through gritted teeth, tapping my foot at his words.

This causes him to laugh once more, waving me away. “We figured what better way to get your insecurities and outcast status out of the picture than to have you provide your most secular voice on the opening track to his new era?”

I look to Perpetua, seeing his head hanging low as to hide himself from the situation. He mirrors his brother in terms of when Terzo speaks; always silent, never contradicting. I purse my lips together, looking back at Terzo with a frown. I can’t poke any holes in his plan. I can’t tell him he’s wrong for coming up with the solution. But, how does he even know something like wouldn’t just let me become a nepotistic outlier rather than the opposite?

”Think of it this way,” Perpetua starts, immediately after I finish my thought. “We introduce you as a small voice to usher in a new era. Nothing entirely significant to the current structure, someone akin to Cirrus or Swiss. An integral piece of the puzzle, but nothing to be put on a pedestal.”

It’s almost as if he could hear my thoughts.

”Precisely! It’ll give you respect, admiration from the congregation. And, it’ll give you time away from these old, stone walls in the future.” Terzo finishes, beaming with a pride.

”Like a way for someone who’s worked with the clergy, who has worked closely with each incarnation, to introduce the new age?” I ask, unfolding my arms and stepping towards the desk. Perpetua nods, giving me a smile. I shake my head. “Then why not Sister Imperator?”

”What, that old bat? She had her time during the Seven Inches of Satanic Panic. She’s more focused on the church than performing anymore.” Terzo spats. I raise my eyebrows at the comment, trying to hold back a chuckle at his feelings towards the Sister. “Not to mention… That’s this guy’s mother. Who left him. Wouldn’t work, little one.”

He is, once again, correct on all fronts. I can’t stand his affinity to be so insightful sometimes.

Thinking towards this, however, is terrifying to me. I’ve only ever sang in my solitude. When I’m showering, doing my makeup, or the few times I would drive around town to run errands for the clergy. Never around anyone, except for the few times Terzo has caught me. I always knew when he did that it would come back to bite me in the ass. I am not a talented singer by any means, so I wonder how he was able to spin it to Perpetua enough for him to agree so quickly.

The two Papas stare at me, patiently waiting for my answer. I frown between them both, eventually rolling my eyes and waving my hand in defeat. “Fine. Whatever.”

Terzo smiles, his smug look returning in his victory. “Beautiful, Lilith. We’ll get you scheduled in the books to record soon, yes?” He turns to Perpetua, who nods quickly. Perpetua pulls out his calendar that I made up for him, searching through his appointments.

”We could start tomorrow? I’ve got to have the song finished for post-production by Friday, and then begin pre-production on Lachryma and Umbra. That’ll fall right in line with the rest of the timeline before the inaugural ritual.” Perpetua looks to me, waiting for my affirmation.

I nod in response, sighing. “Damn me for making your calendar so precise.”

”She’s great, isn’t she?” Terzo smiles at Perpetua, winking. I frown at the man again, wondering what on earth type of secrets he spilled to my new boss before I was able to come in.

Terzo stands after slapping his hands on his knees, straightening his jacket. “Well, you two, I’ll let you work. This one has more atrocities to dispel.” He walks up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Be good, little one.” I sneer at his warning as he leaves, causing the room to fall into a complete silence in his absence.

”Smug son of a bitch…” I mutter under my breath, to which Perpetua clears his throat at. I turn my head to him instantly, fearing his reaction to my silent disrespect of the Third.

He actually chuckles at my remark, hiding his face. “He cares a lot for you, but I do agree.” He responds, looking at me through his shiny silver mask.

”It’s not that I don’t like it, I just… I don’t know. The dynamic is a lot to explain.” I say, taking a seat in front of Perpetua.

He shrugs, putting away his calendar. “I understand. From what he’s told me, he saved you in your time of need. I’m sure you’re nothing but grateful for the second lease on life you so desperately tried to chase.”

I squint at Perpetua, curious as to how much Terzo has spilled. “What did he say to you?”

”I really shouldn’t…”

”Perpetua, please. It’s regarding me. What did he tell you?” I fiddle with my grucifix, trying to stave off the sudden anxiety this topic gives me.

He sighs, adjusting his position in his chair. He looks at me, heterochromatic eyes glinting in the candlelight of his office. “The night he found you, you were running from some… menacing egghead, he called him. Seemingly towards the church. He heard you cry out in the darkness and that’s when he found you, about to lose your life to whoever that man was. That’s when he was able to step in, taking you in his arms. He had Sodo kill the man as he walked you to the church. Besides that, he didn’t tell me why you were running in the first place.”

I lean back in my chair, chastising myself for thinking Terzo would overstep any boundaries apart from speaking about my singing. I fiddle with the sleeves of my shirt, grinding my teeth. I remember that night a few years ago now, how I ran for my life from the cult I was subjected to.

”Do you… want to know?” I ask quietly, lifting my head up to meet my eyes with Perpetua’s. From under his mask, he looks surprised.

”Only if you’re comfortable.”

I nod, ceasing my fidgeting. “I grew up in a cult, is the easiest way to put it. Insanely religious, anti-secular families who put God on an unreachable pedestal. My parents were devout members, and one of the highest contributors. They dedicated their lives, their wellbeing, and their children to ultimate cause of converting the world to better serve a being who seems to be all-knowing and condemns any person who thinks the opposite. I was the eldest sibling, on track to become a high ranking member amongst the leadership there and… well, you know how it is when a new generation grows up in a world that’s that unforgiving and absolute.”

”You rebelled, eager to see the world as it truly is.” Perpetua interjects.

”Exactly. My fault was reading the Bible and having empathy. Empathy for Lucifer, how he held so much care and love for humanity in spite of their faults and sins. My family did not see it the way I did.”

”Tale as old as time.”

I nod. “I finally got the courage after I was asked to deliver a sermon myself. I began it normally, of course. Until I began to talk about how Lilith betrayed Adam. They uh… they did not like that. I was chased out of the church, and decided to run here. I’d heard about this place when I would see the Brothers and Sisters of Sin around town. I admired their openness, their unabashed attitude to be themselves. One of them gave me a flier to a ritual, I think it was when Copia first joined. I memorized the location, thinking I would be able to sneak out and come see it. But I never was able to… that’s when my family started implementing curfews on the youth. I think I was 19 or 20 at the time.”

Perpetua nods along, listening closely to every word I say. I continue, fidgeting with my sleeves once again. “The guy who ran after me was the leader of the cult. He was terrifying. A true cult leader - sucking people in with enticements, desires of a free world under God’s love and enlightenment. But once you were in, you were held to standards even too barbaric for Scientology. I’ve seen people die by his hand, tortured, left like empty shells. He was a silver tongue, a bastion for the devout, but ruthless and unapologetic. When he caught me, I was sure my life was done. He would’ve killed me in that street had Terzo not found me.”

I feel a tear fall from my eye, and in an instant I see Perpetua’s gloved finger lift my chin. I gasp, having not noticed he was now standing in front of me, leaning against his desk. I sniffle once, wiping my face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

”Don’t be sorry, Lilith. You were speaking your truth, your trauma. That’s a lot for one person to go through.” His voice is kind, and quiet. I smile softly, nodding in his light grip. He removes his hand from my chin, returning it to cross his arms over his chest. “So, I would take it your name is not actually Lilith?”

I chuckle at the question, it breaking us out of the heavy mood. He echos my laugh. I shake my head, fixing my hair as I suck in a breath. “Just a name I chose, seemed fitting at the time.”

”I’d say it fits you very well, Lilith. Or should I say, little one?”

I shoot daggers with my eyes, smirking. “If you dare call me that…”

Perpetua laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. “Heard, Lilith it is!”

We laugh together again, filling the air with a light heartedness that snuffs out the sadness of my story. It’s easy to talk to Perpetua, it seems. He makes me feel at ease in his space, compared to the nervousness his brother or some of the other Papas give me. I look back up to him, searching his face. “Thank you for listening, Perpetua.”

”Of course! What kind of person would I be if not wanting to know more about the person I see everyday?”

”I’d say you’re right in line with most of the clergy, in all honesty. And the congregation.”

He gives me a forlorn look, shaking his head. “Not for long, Sister. You may not be a ghoul, but you’re going to enjoy what we have in store for those who perform rituals. I imagine, and hope, that it will give you the comfort and confirmation you seek.”

I nod, smiling again. Thinking for a moment, my mind goes back to something Terzo had mentioned earlier. “Wait, what did Terzo mean that it’ll get me away from the stone walls for a while?”

Perpetua was walking towards a bookshelf, but stops as I finish my question. “Oh, you’ll be going on tour with us, as well.” He states simply, turning back to search through his books. “Now, help me find some things so we can get to work on this sermon, hm?”

Well, I guess that is a way to solve most of my problems.

Chapter Text

Perpetua had advised me to wake up earlier than normal, so we can get the recording done before we spend the day on the sermon he’s due to deliver this weekend. Begrudgingly, I pulled myself out of bed at 7 am to get dressed, completely neglecting makeup. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, and opted for a hoodie and black pants as opposed to my nicer clothing. One thing that I love about this job is that there’s no dress code. However, I know if Sister Imperator caught me, she’d chastise me for not looking more… professional.

I arrive at Perpetua’s office around 8, but find it locked. I frown at the door, testing it a few more times before I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I yank it out, seeing his name across my screen. “Good morning, I’m outside your office but the doors locked…” I answer, looking around the halls as people walk past.

“Oh, I definitely forgot to tell you before you left last night. I’m still in my chambers… I meant to have you meet me here. Do you know where it is?” His voice is very lively for it being so early in the morning. I’m almost jealous.

”Um, I mean…” I pause as a few Sisters of Sin pass by, eyeing me suspiciously. “I know where Terzo’s is, it’s on the west wing third floor.”

”Close, then! I’m west wing, fourth floor, room at the end on the left. Knock when you get here and I’ll let you in.”

”Sounds good, see you soon…” I hang up the phone, silently groaning to myself. The clergy offices are closer to the east wing, where I reside, so the trek to his area of the church grounds is long. I speedwalk my way through, reaching an elevator at the start of the wing and pressing the fourth floor - the top floor.

It takes only a few more minutes before I arrive at Perpetua’s chambers, a dark corner of the hall where not too many people reside. I counted only three other doorways here, which means these rooms are significantly larger than those on lower floors. I lift my hand up to place three knocks on his door, returning it behind my back as I wait. It takes a few moments, but soon Perpetua opens the door to me, wearing a long black button up shirt and his tight black pants. His tie hangs loosely, undone, but his mask and makeup are already donned. “Good morning, Lilith! Come on in, I’m almost done getting ready.”

I look around for a moment before entering, making sure nobody’s around to see me. It’s not unheard of for Sisters to be in the Papa’s chambers, especially given their sexual appetite. But this is a new Papa, completely uncharted in terms of… well, everything so far. Once I’m inside I close the door softly behind me, being met with a low, candlelit entryway that smells of sage and lavender.

The room opens up to a living area, with comfortable crimson red couches and chairs placed elegantly to fill the space. Almost each part of the wall has a bookshelf, and nearly every shelf is filled with either books or objects. Perpetua instructs me to sit at the couch while he finishes getting ready, disappearing through a door off the side of the room that I assume leads to his bedroom. I sit softly on the couch, looking at the coffee table in front of me. A chessboard sits in the center, with an hourglass filled with dark red sand beside it. To my left is what seems to be a kitchen, rather bare, but there’s still a couple of boxes that are stacked near one of the counters. On his kitchen island I see a bottle of that weird red wine that I had stocked for his anointing. I still wonder what makes that one so special.

Interrupting my thoughts, Perpetua emerges from his room, shutting the door behind him quickly. He’s got his leather jacket on now, and his tie is fixed with the jeweled skull fastening it together. He sighs, taking a seat next to me. “Sorry about that, I’m not sure about you but I struggle to get up as early as this.”

I nod, hiding a yawn behind my hand. “No worries, Perpetua. I’m the same way. You seem to hide it well, though.”

He chuckles, picking at his pants nervously. “I’m glad I’m not the only one, then. Did you need anything before we go to the studio? It may take a little while there, so if you’re hungry or anything… I don’t have much, but I think I have a few breakfast sandwiches in my freezer if you want?” He seems rather nervous, at least compared to every other time I’m around him. I shake my head, giving him a comforting smile.

”I’m alright, thank you. I had a large dinner last night so I’ll be okay for the morning.”

He smiles, nodding. “Did you want to run through the song really quick? Or do you feel ready to go? Either way, I just want you to feel comfortable.”

In all honesty, I spent the entire evening practicing. I settled on a range that was comfortable for me, not too rough on my voice. I feel pretty confident to do this; however, still nervous about it being in front of others.

”I think… I’ll be good if we just go into the studio right away. I’m ready.” At least this way, I’ll be in a small booth by myself, and I’ll get it done sooner than later.

Perpetua nods, standing and holding his gloved hand out to me. “Then away we go, Lilith.” I take his hand lightly, standing and then allowing him to drop it on our way out of his chambers.

The walk wasn’t too long — the studio was near the entrance to the west wing, a cozy little corner shrouded in silence. As we walk in, I’m met with various rooms; an open rehearsal area, private booths for individual recording, and the soundboard area where the producers and sound engineers are busy at work. In that area, I spot the entirety of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes for this incarnation. Sodo, Rain, Phantom, Cirrus, Swiss, Mountain, and a few others I haven’t been acquainted with. They’re all lounging around in their uniforms, speaking in Ghoul amongst themselves. When Sodo notices me, he stops and waves. Rain and Phantom do as well, though not as enthusiastically. I wave back, blushing from the sudden attention.

”The ghouls are very excited to hear you this morning,” Perpetua says quietly, guiding me towards a booth. “Here’s where you’ll be recording. I’ll be over here with the engineers and you should be able to hear us through the speaker, just make sure you wear the headphones. Need anything?”

I look towards the soundboard, then the booth, nodding along. I shrug my shoulders, giving him a small smile. “Nope, just anxious to begin.”

Perpetua’s face turns into a sympathetic expression. “Do you want me to clear the room? I can tell the ghouls to fuck off if need be…”

I shake my head. “No, no! It’s okay. I’m always like this if I have to sing… which isn’t very often at all. I’ll be fine. Promise.” I try to give him my best convincing smile, but even I know it doesn’t reach my eyes the way it should.

He nods, patting the door frame as I step into the booth. Quickly, he makes his way to the soundboard, pressing a button on a microphone.

I pick up a pair of headphones, fitting them comfortably over my head. His voice booms through my ears, “Can you hear me alright?” To which I give him a thumbs up. “Okay, perfect! Lilith, we’re going to run the track for you with the current vocals in place so you get an idea for timing. Then, when you’re ready, we can hit record and play it back without the vox. Sound good?”

I nod again, crossing my arms over my chest. After a moment, the song begins to play. I hear Perpetua’s angelic voice ringing through my ears, the choir backing him up. Once we get through that introduction, the playback stops at the start of Sodo’s guitar. “Are you ready?” He asks, eyeing me closely.

”Ready as I’ll ever be.” I say, clearing my throat.

Perpetua nods, pressing his finger against the mic button once again. “Okay, we’ll have you counted in with the metronome for two measures. Start on one, try to keep in time.” I nod as he speaks, taking a deep breath and adjusting my posture in front of the microphone. 

The metronome ticks. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. I took a deep breath on three, to begin with my head voice on the third ‘one.’

Chapter Text

I feel the familiar soft crunch of leaves below my feet once again, the air different this time during the reoccurring dream. It feels lighter, less ominous than before. Turning around, I struggle to find the distant lantern. Instead, my only source of light is the orange moon above. I frown to myself; moving to rub my fingers together, but instantly feeling a different material than just skin. I look down, noticing the gloves across my hands; black, leather, with small dots of rhinestones adorning throughout.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startles me. I look up to see the shadow before me, though I can begin to make out certain features. Black boots, the outline of a cassock, though the color isn’t discernible. At the top I see the outline of a mitre. I could’ve guessed this voice would be one of the Papas, but this doesn’t make it any easier to tell.

”Certusne es te futurum tractare posse?” His voice mutters, my brain slowly translating it. ‘Are you sure you can handle the future?’

I take a deep, shaky breath as I close my eyes. Nodding, I open to look up at the shadowed Papa. “I welcome the darkness.”

The shadow slowly dissipates, allowing me to finally see who has been haunting my dreams.

august thirteenth, two years ago

The week has been grueling, to say the least. Between learning the different preferences of the multitude of Papas, and helping newly promoted Copia as Frater Imperator, I have been pushed to the edge of my sanity. The workload has me happy that the weekend has finally arrived, and I can now unwind in the comforts of my own walls.

Terzo has been exceptionally patient with me during my first month here at the church. An overnight conversion, a new job, and the ever-looming cloud of trauma I have yet to unpack has left my mind mush. But, he still guides me with confidence and ease. Though I spend the days bouncing between offices, confessional booths, and running errands, Terzo has me collect the bulk of the work in his office for me to work without my nerves getting in the way. He says he doesn’t mind it, but I fear sometimes I rely too heavily on him.

The congregation hasn’t welcomed me very warmly, neither. Not as much as I had originally hoped. Since Terzo carried me in here, I’ve received nothing but jealous glances and spiteful remarks. Half of them think I’m a personal sex toy, the other half spreads rumors I’m a clergy plant to keep an eye on everyone when they aren’t looking. I can’t tell which is worse, considering they’re both entirely untrue.

As I shed all of my outer clothing, I take a deep, heavy sigh as I collapse onto my bed. My fingers find their way to my large fluffy blanket, draping it over my nearly naked body. It isn’t long before I find myself drifting off to sleep…

…or at least, trying.

A growing wetness between my legs is what’s distracting me. I groan to myself, tossing and turning, but never fully regaining comfort. If there’s one thing about this church, it’s the sexual appetite of everyone involved. It makes it truly hard to go through the days, being the outcast that I am, as during my short time here I’ve had to invest in toys in order to keep myself occupied.

Sighing to myself, I reach into my nightstand drawer to pull out a teal vibrator, fully charged and clean from the last time I used it. I look at it for a moment, pressing the button at the bottom to turn it on. Well, here we go.

I push my panties down and completely off, exposing my wet pussy to the cool air around me. Using my fingers, I flick around my aching clit, the few swipes sending electric shocks of pleasure throughout my body. I instantly feel my nipples harden, letting out a soft moan as I can feel my orgasm will be quick, but euphoric. I move the phallic vibrator towards my clit, keeping it on the lowest setting to tantalize myself.

My thumb hits the button a couple more times as I squirm under my own pressure, moving the tip of the item towards my wet hole. My eyes close as I reach with my left hand to my clit, making circular motions as I push the vibrator inside of me, causing me to let out a much louder moan. My breathing quickens under my movements, my entire body becoming fire as I push myself closer to the edge. I care little for my volume, knowing these walls tend to be thicker than most. Though, as my orgasm crashes through me, something startles me from my concentration.

”Uh… little one?”

I gasp as I hear the voice, my eyes shooting open to see the one person I didn’t want to be in here… Terzo.

I hurriedly pull my blanket back over me, covering myself as I pant. The roaring of my vibrator continues until I struggle to find the button, pushing the button until it silences. I look at Terzo, his eyes wide and face flushed as he’s frozen before me. He stammers before me, unable to form any words.

”Knocking didn’t occur to you?” I ask, my breathing settling.

”I, well, usually, um…” He trails off, unable to explain himself any further. I look him up and down, noticing a couple takeout boxes in one gloved hand, and a bottle of wine in another. He expected to treat me to dinner… and instead got to see me treating myself to an orgasm.

Upon further inspection, my eyes trail down to what seems to be an increasingly growing boner in his pants, something he’s seemingly forget to cover. I can see the perfect outline of his cock bulging forward, reaching a length I can only describe as richly endowed. I clear my throat, failing to avert my gaze as I should. Terzo looks down, instantly becoming apologetic as he struggles to use the wine bottle to hide it.

”Lilith, I’m sorry. I should probably go, I’m…” He sets down the food and bottle, moving his hand to try and tuck himself away. My eyebrow raises, an incredibly devious thought entering that I should be pushing away. However, knowing his seductive nature with the majority of the congregation as well as clergy… curiosity wins my internal argument.

”Terzo, wait.” I call out, making him stop in his tracks as he was trying to exit my room. He looks at me instantly, his mismatched eyes trying to hold my eye contact. I slowly make it difficult, allowing the blanket to fall from my shoulders and expose my bare chest. Terzo’s eyes betray him, instantly moving to witness my breasts with nipples harder than the snake in his suit pants.

He straightens his posture as he begins to understand what my movements imply, his hand smoothing his hair back. “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do something you don’t want to, Lilith.”

I shake my head, pushing the blanket completely off my body as I stand. He falls silent again, watching my movements as I saunter over to him; slowly, swaying my hips with each soft step I take towards him. From my shorter stature, I gaze deeply into his eyes. “I can promise you if I didn’t want to do this, I would’ve screamed at you to leave.”

”You’re not drunk, are you?” Terzo asks, trying to find any hint of me not being in my right mind. I shake my head, giving him a softly seductive smile.

”Surprisingly, just incredibly horny. But, I’ll have you promise one thing.”

Terzo nods, taking my hand his white glove. “We never, ever, talk about this again. Please?”

”A secret kept to the grave.” Terzo murmurs, pulling me flush against him. I gasp softly, feeling the hardness of his cock against my stomach in an instant. Terzo lifts my chin to properly look into my eyes, taking one more cautious moment before he presses his lips against mine. My hands snake around his neck, caressing the nape of his neck as we move our lips together slowly.

We stay like this for a moment before he moves his hands to my ass, giving it a squeeze. Quickly, he pulls me up, causing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I feel ourselves moving, our lips never separating from each other. Before I know it, Terzo is leaning back on my bed; pillows under my head. He breaks the kiss for a moment, his breathing much heavier than mine. He pulls his gloves off along with his suit jacket before climbing on top of me; pressing open mouthed kisses against my jawline, then my neck. My thoughts are entirely consumed with this feeling. There’s a nagging voice that tries to cut through, telling me I’ll regret this… but Terzo’s hand caressing my breast breaks it away quickly.

”You are incredibly beautiful, Lilith.” Terzo says softly, looking into my eyes with sincerity. I feel myself blush, not entirely expecting the sweet comment. I try to stutter out a thank you, but instead gasp from his hand that has snuck its way to my pussy, his fingers quickly finding my clit. “Allow me to apologize for the way I interrupted you.”

I watch the man as he moves down between my legs, hooking his arms underneath them. He pulls me closer towards his face as he places gentle kisses on the inside of either thigh. I feel like this is a dream; Terzo in the perfect position to eat me out. All Sisters of Sin dream to have him like this. They line the halls during his confession slots just to try to gain a chance to seduce him. I, for some reason, have just enough luck to seduce him.

”Little one?” His voice brings me out of my head, focusing on him hovering just above my clit. I give a slight nod, unable to speak.

He chuckles, the breath escaping his lips waving over my increasingly wet center. “Brace yourself,” he mutters. I raise an eyebrow at him, but before I can question anything, Terzo places his mouth over my clit, sucking it softly before letting it go with a ‘pop’. My hips jolt to the feeling, causing my moan to come out a lot louder than intended. He maintains eye contact as he runs his tongue from my entrance and back up again, softly swirling over my clit. Profanities spill from my lips as devours my pussy, completely unrelenting.

I arch my back to his mouth, my fingers tangling into his slicked back hair. With each swipe of his tongue, I feel my orgasm quickly returning with a vengeance. As if he can tell, Terzo pushes two of his fingers inside me, curling them up to hit my g-spot with each thrust.

”Terzo… I’m close!” I manage to spit out, our eyes meeting as he smiles against my pussy. He doubles down his efforts, pumping his fingers faster as he sucks my throbbing clit. Before I realize it, I come undone in his grasp. I chant his name again and again through the orgasm, moving my hips to his rhythm as I chase the high. Terzo stops sucking and turns back to licking every single drop from me, not missing a spot. Even as my breathing begins to steady, and my body begins to relax, he manages to continue moving his tongue. Slowly he removes his fingers from inside me, smiling as he lifts his head away. He sits up slowly, taking his fingers into his mouth to suck the last of my wetness. His eyes roll back, a hum emitting from his lips.

The Third just made me cum, and I didn’t even have to beg for it. Though, looking at him, I fear I’m not done just yet.

Terzo’s hand rubs against his throbbing cock, somehow contained still. I flicker my gaze from that to his eyes, raising an eyebrow. “Problem?” I ask, smiling.

He smiles back, unbuttoning his shirt partially before pulling it off. “I have but one problem, little one.”

I lean forward, replacing his hand with mine as I begin to grope his bulge. His hips buck in response, a breathy moan escaping his lips. I smile at him, connecting our lips together with an intense lust. As I run my tongue along his bottom lip, I taste myself — a feeling that only makes me hungrier for more.

Terzo pulls away abruptly, momentarily leaving the bed to shed his few remaining layers. “Turn around, ass up, little one.” He orders, his voice dripping with a dark lust I’ve only ever heard about. I smirk at his words, biting my lip as I swivel my body around, placing my head on my pillows and arching my back to provide Terzo with the perfect view. I can hear his moans of approval, peeking behind my shoulder to see him stroking his throbbing member slowly. He crawls onto the bed, groping my ass as he comes closer. I feel his hand leave before feeling the stinging pleasure of a hard slap. My body jolts at the sudden action, but a shiver of pleasure courses through me.

”If I am too much, little one…” Terzo warns, kneading my ass gently as he speaks.

“I’ll let you know.” I quickly respond, my voice raspy. I hear him chuckle, before he places his other hand on my waist. Peeking behind me again, I see him begin to line himself up with my entrance. He teases me as the tip of his cock rubs over my folds, Terzo effectively wetting himself with the remnants of my orgasm. Just as I begin to whine from the frustration, he thrusts himself completely inside me, eliciting a moan from both of us.

”Fuck, Lilith…” Is all he can muster as my walls tighten around him, attempting to adjust to his size. Terzo begins to pull his cock out just to the tip, before thrusting in again at a harder pace. As he bottoms out inside of me, I feel the telltale feeling of my g spot being stimulated. As my body jerks from the pleasure, I can only assume he got the response needed to fully unleash his potential.

Terzo begins a steady pace, though not gentle at all. With each thrust, the collision of our bodies cause loud slaps to ring through the air. Our moans escalate quickly together, sounding in time with each pump. Before long, Terzo’s digging his fingers into my hip as he quickens the pace. I, completely at his mercy, grip onto my pillow until my knuckles turn white. The feeling of his cock hitting my g-spot, the rough and fast pace, his cries of pleasure — they all play a part in my quickly approaching climax.

As if we’re in sync, I can feel Terzo’s movements become more erratic, his cock throbbing harder with each thrust. His hand reaches around to connect with my clit, rubbing fast and calculated circles to push me further along. I writhe under his movements, unable to hold back. His free hand digs into my waist harder; the pace becoming faster than I could ever fathom. It isn’t long before I feel it all cease as his warm cum spills into me. As he releases, I follow quickly behind. Terzo’s movements become slower, but the fingers on my pussy are relentless until I begin to shake. Only then, his pace finally comes to a slow stop; both his fingers and his cock. We stay in this position for a moment, breathing heavily as we mentally gather ourselves.

Terzo carefully pulls his spent cock from my pussy, eliciting a moan from me. My hips fall to the side, exhaustion evident. He crawls next to me and lays his head on my pillow. We look at each other for a moment; panting, sweating, dazed. A smile begins to creep onto his lips. “What a sinful little one you are, Lily.”

I shake my head, adjusting my position to lying on my back. “I see why the girls beg for you as much as they do.”

He laughs, placing a hand on my cheek. “I am nothing if not a generous lover.”

I smile at his comment, staring into his eyes for a moment. Part of me wants to take back what I asked in the beginning, that this was just a one time thing. But I know it’ll better for both of us to at least exhaust the attempt once, and move on, rather than let it continue and fester into something else. I don’t need to cause the congregation unnecessary jealousy, I don’t want there to be rumors, and I cannot afford to develop any feelings; whether they’re of lust or more.

”What’s on your mind now?” Terzo asks, rubbing a thumb across my lips before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on them.

I smile, shaking my head. “Nothing at all, dear Terzo. Just feeling satisfied.”

”Ah,” he says, understanding. “Did you want me to leave?”

Just because we finished the deed, doesn’t mean the night is entirely over. I look to the takeout that he brought, and the wine, before looking back at him with an eyebrow raised and a mischievous smile playing in my lips. He takes the cue without me even speaking, knowing in an instant of my desire.

If I’m about to enter tomorrow like this never happened, the least we can do is satisfy a few more positions before it’s completely over.

Chapter Text

february, six months ago

I received a rather alarming message to my phone this morning from the Frater Imperator himself. In the text, he tried to make it sound less urgent than it truly is — begging for my assistance on a matter relative to his recent promotion from Papa. The thing is, I never receive messages from Copia. I hardly speak words to him, let alone any correspondence like this. I sent a quick message to Terzo upon reading it, to explain my absence from his office. All Terzo said was “finally.”

After donning a long sleeved black dress that flows to my ankles, a pair of flats and my grucifix, I hurriedly rush to Copia’s office. I forego knocking to enter, although not abruptly. I find the Frater Imperator at his window, hands wringing together in his nervousness. As I shut the door behind me, his head instantly turns to my attention.

A sigh of relief escapes his lips. “Sister Lilith, thank you for coming so quickly.”

I bite back every instinct in my being to make the statement a joke, choosing to sit in a chair opposite his desk. “Of course, your eminence. What seems to be the problem?”

He sighs again, straightening his black suit jacket as he walks towards his desk chair, taking a seat. “I need your opinion on something, and let me forewarn you that everything that happens in this room doesn’t leave. Not even to Terzo.”

I nod slowly, internally becoming alarmed at the warning. Given the fact that Copia now sits at the highest position in our church, he’s allowed to make such requests. However, I remain apprehensive as I’m just… an assistant.

By no means am I someone that is typically trusted with information so important I cannot share it with the sitting Papa.

“Understood, your eminence.” I say softly, trying to stop a frown from forming.

Copia takes his time thinking to himself, flexing his hands in and out of a fist. Clearly something is troubling him. His eyes stay glued to the top of his desk, a single sheet of parchment paper at the focus of his gaze. He turns it around, sliding it to me. “Tell me what this says.”

I lean forward to read it. Typed out, and signed by Papa Nihil it reads; 

A request, previously unfulfilled, has officially been accepted by your successor. Your brother, V, will arrive to take his place as the new Papa within the month. Please prepare accordingly.

I scan the words again, a slew of questions rising as I’m sure they did for Copia as well. “You have a brother, they refer to him as ‘V’… and he’s to be the new Papa?” I ask, looking in Copia’s mismatched eyes.

He grumbles something to himself, taking the paper back. “I thought I was hallucinating these words.”

”Since when do you have a brother?” Is the only question I can come up with asking for now.

“Apparently my entire life. Sister Imperator tells me he’s my twin…”

“And where has he been this entire time? Why does it say…” my words fall as I avert my attention back to his increasingly furrowing brow. His face is becoming red, anger rising in a man that I have never even seen display outward happiness before.

“These are all good questions that I have no answers to. My aunt… she said she’s been the one taking care of V. Fucking V.” His words end with a biting malice.

I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “Why did you need me, Copia?” I finally ask, at least I can potentially gain that answer.

He finally looks in my eyes, the bags under his heavier than normal. He searches my face for a moment. “You’ve worked with all of us up until this point, Sister Lilith. I need something from you.”

“Your eminence…” I start. I almost fear the answer.

He takes his time answering, moving his hands to his lap. This poor man, naturally uneasy in an unprecedented chain of events. From the whiplashes of promotions, to the amount of music he’s pushed out compared to the other Papas… he’s exhausted. Completely spent.

”Copia… You know you’re allowed a break, right?” I ask softly, understanding now where his anxieties come from.

He was busy for years; and now that he can finally relax, he doesn’t know how to feel.

”I know it seems ridiculous… But it all just stops? Just like this?” His voice is quiet, almost fearful.

”You know as Frater Imperator your work is never done. I’m sure you’re going to be just as busy, just as involved as you want to be. Sometimes maybe more than you want.”

He grumbles at the thought, eliciting a chuckle from me. His eyes make contact with mine for a moment, and his face relaxes. “I don’t know who I am without my work.”

I give him a comforting smile. “You’re Copia, the Frater Imperator; Papa Emeritus the Fourth, the Cardinal Copia. You are an amalgamation of the hardest positions to hold in this clergy. And you’ve changed lives, more than you know. I think you deserve a bit of a break.”

”Is it bad I want to cry?” His voice breaks.

”You’re allowed to mourn the time you had on the center stage.” I stand, walking over to Copia and holding my hand out. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

He stands quickly, pulling me into a tight embrace I could never expect coming from him. I waste no time in holding him back, rubbing his back in circular motions as he releases his emotions. We stand like this for a moment, nearly silent. It almost feels nice to be able to do this for him. Sometimes, even the loneliest of people need someone in their corner.

After a few minutes, Copia pulls away. He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbing at his face to dry his tears. I straighten my dress, looking up at him with a smile. “A little better?”

He nods, taking his seat. “A little better,” he repeats quietly. “Thank you, Sister Lilith. I know it’s not what you’re here to do, nor would I ever expect you to, but I guess sometimes…”

”Listen, if it ever gets too lonely or too much to handle, I’ll always be here to listen. No judgement, your eminence. And complete discretion. And… you can just call me Lilith.”

He smiles at my words, nodding. “Lilith, thank you. I’ll let you get on with your work day, I apologize if I put you behind.”

I start walking towards the door, before I turn and face him one last time. “I’m always happy to help, your eminence.”

I slip out the door with a smile, shutting it softly behind me. As I look around to see if anyone sees me, my heart drops. Terzo’s smug face is smirking at me from down the hall, shaking his head.

Sigh. I know I’ll never hear the end of this from him.

my vision clears once more, the flashes of memories now dissipating into the darkness that surrounds me. I blink a few times, remembering I’m still asleep and dreaming. Before me, the previously shadowed individual is in full view under the orange moon.

Perpetua.

I frown at him, seeing his hesitant expression under the jeweled mask. “Why those memories?” I ask, my voice softer than anticipated.

It is at this moment I realize his ungloved hand in mine, now dropping to his side. “I just wanted to know… you don’t have intimate memories with the rest of the clergy?”

My mind runs through so many thoughts at once. Why is Perpetua going through my memories; specifically these? Why come into my dreams at all? How on earth does he have the ability to even do this? Or, is this just some messed up nightmare born from my general curiosities?

I feel my head spinning inside this plane. The environment around me collapses into complete darkness; the leaves, the trees, and Perpetua slipping away from my vision. A piercing pain shoots through my skull, causing me to cry out.

My eyes shoot open, finally awake from the longest dream I’ve ever had. The searing headache remains, as does all of my burning questions. I look around my room, seeing it undisturbed from when I originally fell asleep. I feel I’ve gone through lifetimes in the duration of my sleep thanks to that dream… or nightmare. Definitely considering it a nightmare after that ending.

A knock begins sounding from my door; a loud, rushed sequence. My heart drops at the thought that the dream could’ve actually been real, and Perpetua has the ability to materialize inside of my mind. I hold my knees to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut as the headache continues to pulse.

I’m beginning to understand Terzo’s warnings a bit more now. 

Chapter Text

The knocks continue frantically at my door, almost sounding as if more than just two hands are pounding away. My brow furrows deeper, my anger rises in my chest, and I quickly launch to my feet to confront the person I can only guess would be Perpetua on the other side of the door.

The only thing I want to do right now is plant my fist into his jaw. His constant appearances in my dreams have sent me over the edge since he arrived. It would only make sense that it was him the whole time; it started when he got here, he hid in a shadow. But what I can’t figure out is why? Why was there always a lantern I couldn’t reach? Why the ominous Latin? For what reason could he possibly have to justify pulling the most intimate, private moments that were supposed to be kept secret from the depths of my mind?

I swing the door open, seething as I see him on the other side. His face is plastered with a smile, rather than any hint of terror I would have anticipated. It stops me in my tracks, catching me completely off guard. Standing next to him is Sodo, smiling bigger than I’ve ever seen. Their expressions drop as I stand there; big t shirt, messy hair, and anger emitting from me like steam.

”Uh, good morning Lilith. May we come in?” Perpetua asks, dropping the smile as he takes in my appearance. “Are you…”

I open and close my fist as I take him in; shiny gray mask, typical face paint, but the clothing is more relaxed than his usual suits. Today, he’s in a loose fitting black outfit with white designs, though his pants never seem to get any less tight.

”What the fuck was that?” I yell, pointing to my bed. “What the fuck were you doing in my head?”

Perpetua looks at Sodo, utterly confused. Sodo shrugs, silent and unassuming. “I’m not sure what you’re referring to…”

I take a deep breath, holding my temple as the headache ensues. “You. You were in my dream, going through the weirdest memories. What the fuck?”

Perpetua places his hands on my shoulders, looking down at me with a sympathetic expression. “Lilith. I know Papas are magical, but I can assure you I can’t just pop into dreams.”

Sodo mutters something to him, jabbing him in the side with his elbow. Perpetua looks at him with a grim expression. “Enough, get your mind out of the gutter.”

My frown stays, my confusion ever growing. What does he mean? Could I have just… conjured that dream by myself? Went through those emotions, those memories on my own accord? Or is he simply just lying to me because of how the entire dream fell apart?

Is he gaslighting me? Is he keeping a front because Sodo is here?

Considering his demeanor at my door, the accompaniment of Sodo, and his blatant disregard of my mood… I suppose I have nothing further to argue with him about. At least, for now. He’s not going to admit to it, it seems. But Terzo’s heeding warnings are ringing through my head louder than before. I fear distrust is growing in me for the new Papa.

I sigh, moving out of the doorway for Perpetua and Sodo to enter. They do so, albeit cautiously. “Just… forget it. Probably just have too many thoughts going through my head.” I watch as they enter my room, looking around at my decor. “Why are you two here so damn early?”

Perpetua swivels to me, excitement returning. “We have the finished track of Peacefield. Want to listen?”

Ugh. I should’ve guessed.

I roll my eyes in response, moving to crawl back into my bed. Perpetua and Sodo stand awkwardly in the center of my room; Sodo enthusiastically turning his head towards every corner, every shelf. Perpetua nudges him, trying to get him from being so nosy. I shake my head at the two, leaning my back against my headboard. “Fine. Play it. I guess I truly can’t escape it after this.”

Perpetua pulls my desk chair out, pulling it towards the edge of my bed. With his phone in his hand, he taps the screen a few times before locking it and increasing the volume. “It came out amazing, Lilith.” He whispers, smiling at me.

I nod, hinting at him to play it already. Instantly, my voice rings through the speaker. Sodo turns his head towards us, scurrying to sit on the edge of my bed. I almost cringe at hearing my singing, but Sodo and Perpetua don’t. In fact, they close their eyes and listen.

My eyebrows shoot up as I hear the choir behind my voice, adding a depth that can’t be replicated by just one person. My breath catches as I listen, the melodies and harmonies accompanying me making me feel… well, euphoric.

Chills run up my arms as Sodo’s guitar rings through after my final word. I can almost picture the stage; a single light on him as he takes his place, then another shining on Perpetua as he appears from the darkness. The vibrato in his voice is perfectly placed; never too excessive, always complimenting the cadence.

When the chorus comes, I almost feel like my heart stops. The way his voice is isolated, the lyrics captivating me. I look at Perpetua himself as he listens, silently mouthing the words. Throughout the song, he twitches as if he’s imagining himself performing. I can’t help but smile as I watch him and listen to the incredible song. As it finishes and fades out, I nod along. Sodo and Perpetua share a look of achievement together, then turn their attention back to me.

Effortlessly, the song pulled my sour mood from my grasp. It’s exactly what it was intended for, but not originally for me. This is a song that will give those peace at mind when their thoughts seemingly have no end. 

”That was… actually incredible.” I say softly, smiling.

Sodo throws his fist in the air as a victory, Perpetua sheepishly smiling. “It’s so much better now with your voice in the beginning, a contrast against mine to usher in this new era.”

“A call back, almost, to Secondo’s album.” I state, giving him a smirk.

Perpetua’s eyes widen under the mask, his smile growing as he holds his hands out towards me. “Exactly! Exactly what I was thinking. The choir in Infestissumam is what inspired me to have this more choral opening. But it’s one thing to have a masculine-heavy choir. I think your voice at the very start isn’t expected, it’ll captivate the congregation in ways they wouldn’t expect.”

I chuckle softly, shaking my head. “You truly are a part of that family. You guys always know how to outdo yourselves with each iteration.”

We sit there for a moment, the silence in the room growing. Sodo stands, clearly done with the interaction, and promptly leaves. Now, just Perpetua and I remain in my room.

I feel entirely too nervous now. My mind is still reeling from the dream; unfortunately, the song had zero effect on that. I begin picking at my nails, trying to settle my nerves. Perpetua clears his throat, sitting up straighter in my chair.

”I’m uh…” He starts, trailing off quickly. I’m sure he doesn’t even know how to address my line of questioning when he entered the room.

”I’m sorry for being so angry when you got here.” I say, pursing my lips together as I look at Perpetua’s eyes. “I know it sounds completely crazy, instantly accusing you of controlling my dreams. I just…” I stop abruptly, not wanting to say too much. “We can just forget it, yeah?” That’s a much better way to say it, sure.

Perpetua looks into my eyes, his mismatched set searching my face for a moment. They’re the same eyes as Copia when he asked me for my help during a vulnerable moment. The same pair that bore into me from Terzo when he found me, battered on the ground. They’re the eyes that watch me when I assist for sermons and rituals, that observe me as I organize and file and work.

But Perpetua’s set are different. I still can’t put my finger on it, but they look at me differently.

“If you want to forget it, I will never question it. Just tell me what I can do to make you feel comfortable, and I will with no hesitation. If you need more space, or if you need me to change your hours to let you rest longer…”

”No, that’s not at all what I mean.” I cut him off.

”I just don’t want you to ever become uncomfortable with this situation. It’s new to me, having someone this close… in terms of a working environment. I wasn’t at all expecting something like an assistant when I finally told Nihil I could come take over.”

My mind drifts back to when Copia told me about Perpetua. The secret twin brother, showing up out of nowhere after copious failed attempts at reaching out. Later, after Copia had me in his office to comfort him, I found out they had been trying to reach Perpetua for a year. From what I know, Perpetua had other business to attend to before joining the clergy.

”I’m not sure anyone expected any of this, if I’m perfectly honest with you.” I respond, threading my fingers together in my lap. “You’re a true mystery, Perpetua. Maybe that’s why my subconscious is holding onto you so tightly.”

Perpetua chuckles, causing my gaze to snap to him. He clears his throat, shaking his head. “It’s just funny, because I’m nothing special.” His words come out light hearted, but I can hear the melancholic tone behind them.

I sigh, shaking my head. “You’re incredibly wrong, but I know you won’t believe me until you see it for yourself. Once you take that stage, your new life begins.”

”As does yours, Lilith.”

”I just hope this path doesn’t lead to nowhere.”

Perpetua chuckles again, this time letting it resonate. I give him a frown, questioning his reaction. “No, it’s just… I wrote a song like that. It’s funny you said that.”

”What’s the name?” I raise an eyebrow, curious.

”Guiding Lights. The chorus has a line; ‘The road that leads to nowhere is long.’ Followed up by ‘And that those who seek to go there are lost.’”

I nod, humming in understanding. “How many more do you have in the works right now, Perpetua?”

”Well…” He stops for a moment, looking through his phone and mentally tallying the work he’s completed. “I have all ten songs written, actually. Two are fully recorded and mastered; Satanized and Peacefield. Three more are in post production, those are Cenotaph, Excelsis, and De Profundis Borealis. Three more are going to be recorded tomorrow, and the final two I’m sitting on before I bring them up.”

I nod, giving him a thoughtful expression. “Which two?”

He looks up at me through his mask, a playful smirk on his lips. “Lachryma and Umbra.”

Lachryma. The tearful ballad we once discussed.

I suck in a breath, thinking to myself. He’s got the entire album planned out, now. Satanized completed before his first sermon tomorrow, now Peacefield is complete in time for a brand new ritual. Half of the album is all ready, though still no tour in the books. I wonder what’s causing the delay on that; if it’s the music, or something larger.

”What are you thinking, Lilith?”

His voice cuts through my inner monologue softly. I look back over at him, biting the inside of my lip as I know I’m about to regret my decisions coming up. Launching myself out of bed, and avoiding Perpetua’s puzzling look, I make my way to my closet to pull out a pair of black leggings, a long sleeved shirt with thumb holes in the sleeves, and my boots. I toss these items on my bed, placing my hands on my waist.

”Well, now that we have the most important, time-oriented tasks out of the way, we need to finish your album. You’re halfway there right now, you’ve got the ghouls revamped in your new style; all you need is to finish the songs.”

”Are you saying…” He trails off, trying to hide an excited smile.

I nod, squinting in his direction. “Today’s tasks are finishing your album, and then you’ll finally be ready for the most iconic era of the Ghost project yet.”

Satan below, I hope I know what I’m doing here.

Chapter Text

I have to remind myself that I have lived through far worse.

I’ve survived a cult, including the torture and the harrowing escape that nearly resulted in my death. I’ve endured endless nightmares of that place, reliving every punishment on a nightly basis. I have endured ridicule within these church walls. Between the ill will of the congregation, to the verbal berating from the likes of Papa Nihil and Primo. I have been through significant trial and turmoil throughout my 27 years on this plane of existence.

Though, nothing has been as hard as what I’m currently facing within this moment.

“Lilith, it’s just a stage costume. Please, can we see now?”

I grumble in response to Perpetua’s annoyance over my reluctance to leave the dressing room. I’ve been sitting in the corner, away from the mirrors as I stare at the stone floor; my regular clothes strewn about. I drum my fingers on my knees, contemplating just changing back and forgetting this whole situation.

In my life, I have been thrust in front of masses as an image to admire. I have been made an example; whether good or bad. Once I arrived here, as much as I tried to hide in the shadows I was instead given a spotlight to ridicule. To judge, be jealous of. I knew taking on this new role is going to force me out of the protective shell I built…

But damn, do I hate everything about it right now.

I stand slowly, quietly, to look at my outfit in the mirror. It’s just like the dream I had those nights ago; black combat boots, sheer black leggings with rhinestones marking skeletal bones. I have a skirt, tight and coming to about mid thigh. My top comes in multiple parts; a black leather corset around my abdomen, a lace black top with sleeves so long they come to a point at my middle finger. The lace is adorned with purple sparkles and rhinestones, catching the light every time I move. Attached under my arms are lace bat wings that expand with each movement. The shirt comes up to a tight collar around my neck, fluffed out like something from the 18th century. My curly/wavy hair falls around my shoulders freely, and on my face is the mask Terzo gave me the other day.

The final piece was a black veil that cascades down my back, with a sheer face cover that I can choose to move back or forth. I didn’t bother with the makeup for my first fitting; though I’m sure Perpetua will have input on that once he sees me.

An incessant knocking begins at the door, impatience becoming evident from him and the ghouls. I hear it stop abruptly, and Perpetua’s stern voice chastising Phantom for it. I shake my head, trying to will the nerves away. I’m going to have to show them, no matter what. Might as well stop prolonging the inevitable.

I swing open the door, frowning at the band of ghouls and Perpetua. Fidgeting with the corset, I feel far too seen right now. I’m being perceived, and I can’t stand it.

Perpetua, seemingly understanding my thoughts, walks forward, a warm smile on his face. “It’s perfect, Lilith. Does it fit okay? Can you take deep enough breaths, move comfortably?”

I look down at my feet, inhaling deeply and fully expanding my lungs. No restrictions. I look up at Perpetua, shrugging. “I don’t foresee myself moving much, but I can breathe.”

He clasps his hands together. “Perfect, you can change if you want to. I just wanted to make sure as soon as it was finished, that it fit properly.”

Phantom whispers something in Sodo’s ear, and the two smile like goofs. These ghouls are something else sometimes. But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy their playful nature.

Perpetua turns to them, chastising them silently. The two erupt in a defensive slew of words I couldn’t begin to understand. Cirrus rolls her eyes, and the rest of them just shake their heads.

“Be respectful is all I’m saying, you two numb nuts. I’m sorry, Lilith.”

I shrug, smirking. “It’s fine. Can I get out of this now? We need to finish Umbra before it gets too late. You have a sermon and a song to perform tomorrow, and I’ll be damned as an assistant if you don’t have your ducks in a row.”

Perpetua nods, standing straighter. “Of course, yes. Come on you guys.” Ushering the ghouls away, Perpetua turns to give me another smile. I close the door to the dressing room, taking a deep sigh. In an instant, I’m unzipping the corset and shedding the boots. I can’t say I don’t like the outfit; I just don’t like the attention.

Perpetua and I are in his office, having worked through Lachryma before the costume fitting this morning. That song was a lot more written than I had originally thought; and Perpetua even said it’s one of the first songs he wrote for the album. The vampire aesthetic as the overarching theme for the song is interesting, to say the least. But, it seems to be the vibe that he’s going for. Copia had petulance, Perpetua has vampires.

This song, however, is set to be a major collaborative effort.

“Why this song, for all of this?” I ask, gesturing to our slew of notes, diagrams, and books.

Perpetua laughs, taking the lyric sheet and placing it in the middle of the table. “Usually the albums have some sort of instrumental song. Clearly, I didn’t do that.”

“Yet another callback to Secondo.”

”Listen; that album incredibly iconic. The man put in his all, and not a single instrumental track. Anyways, yes a lot of this has its influences from Infestissumam, but more hopeful than gloom. This song, here, is endgame.”

“…with cowbell?”

Perpetua waves his hand at me, shooing away my negativity. “You’ll see. When it all comes together, it’ll be incredible.”

I nod, looking down at our notes. “I do like the idea of Sodo and Cirrus having a battle mid song. That’s going to be incredible.”

“Now you’re starting to see. Swiss has the cowbell, Cirrus and Sodo get to go head to head, I’ll get to dance.”

I shoot at look at him, frowning, but smiling. “You like to dance?”

Perpetua shrugs, chuckling to himself. “Of course I like to dance; it’s in the bloodline.”

My mind floats to memories of Copia dancing on stage, or Terzo doing the same. These last three are some of the biggest hams I’ve ever met. Not to mention, Copia had actual dancers.

“Can’t really argue with that.” I mutter, looking down again. “When are you back in the studio again? Not until Monday, right?”

Perpetua looks at his calendar by his side, flipping through the pages. “Uhhh, yes. Another early morning.”

I nod. “Okay, well, how much of this has been rehearsed with everyone? As a full song?”

Perpetua thinks to himself, nodding his head from side to side. “Not much at all. We’ll need to get together to iron out the new details sooner than later.”

“You thinking what I’m thinking? We have to get you guys recording something else than Lachryma on Monday.”

“Let me send out a text to everyone, and we can start right away. Do you think tonight?”

I nod, gathering up the notes and books. “Definitely tonight, but not lasting longer than four hours. Ten should be a good cut off, and it’ll let you get some rest.”

Perpetua’s face is buried in his phone, his thumbs tapping away to inform the band. He looks at me for a moment when I say my last sentence, seemingly wanting to say something to that; but ultimately not.

I begin to move all of the loose notes into a folder, and placing the books back on the shelves. The lyrics I keep out and on top of the folder, all on top of his desk. Turning back to Perpetua, I see him put his phone into his pocket and grab his jacket.

“Did you need me to come with?” I ask, folding my hands in front of me.

Perpetua looks at me for a moment. He steps towards me slowly, folding his arms over his chest. “Not unless you want to be in a room full of bickering ghouls.” We chuckle together, letting it die out in silence. “No, dear Lilith. I don’t think I’ll need anything more today. You’ve helped so much, I honestly feel bad for not being able to repay you right away.”

I shake my head. “Don’t worry about that, it’s literally my job to assist. Just as long as you follow the plan, I will see you bright and early to prepare for your sermon.”

I begin to walk towards the door, before I feel a hand on my arm stopping me. I look to see Perpetua, closer than before, holding me in place. “Is something wrong?” I ask softly.

He looks at me silently, what looks to be fighting himself on the inside. Ultimately, he sighs, dropping the hand on my arm. “Nothing, nothing. Um, do you mind meeting me at my chambers in the morning? I have a cassock that’s a bit too… adorned for one person to just put on. I hope that’s not too weird?”

I smirk at him, shaking my head. “Not at all. I’ll see you then, your eminence.”

With that, I waltz out of the room with a smile. I drop it as quickly as I’m in the hall, though, not wanting a repeat of the time I left Copia’s office. At this thought, I stop in my tracks for a moment. Copia…

The twin brother. The studious of all Papas, with a mind like a sponge when it comes to history, rumors, and facts. With my mind still reeling from the dream and how well Perpetua was able to curve my suspicions, there couldn’t be a better person to ask. Though it’s been months since I’ve talked to Copia in this capacity, now couldn’t be a better time to bend his ear on the subject.

I turn around, walking towards opposite side of the chapel. Finding a side set of stairs, I take them to the top floor, then arriving at Copia’s office. Leaning my ear to the door, I listen for a moment to make sure he’s alone. I lean back, knocking softly. A quiet ‘come in’ in Copia’s voice rings out, and I push my way into the office.

The Frater Imperator stands at a bookshelf, looking amongst the hundreds. His head swivels to me, his eyebrows shooting up; surprised. “Lilith? What brings you here this evening?”

I frown, biting my lip. How do I even word this without sounding crazy? What would he even think of me for suggesting it? Above all that, would he instantly tell Copia that I was uneasy about him?

No, the last one wouldn’t be true. Copia can’t stand Perpetua.

“I have some questions, and they’re going to sound a little weird…” I start slowly, threading my fingers together. “You’re the only one I feel like I could ask.”

Copia frowns, turning away from his bookshelf. “Come, let’s sit.”

I follow copia to his seating area, watching him grab a bottle of white wine and two glasses for us. He sets the glasses down carefully, pouring us each a cool serving. Once he takes his seat, I follow suit; sitting on the couch next to him.

Taking the wine, I sip slowly; feeling the warmth spread through my chest. “Thank you, Copia.” I say quickly, smiling.

“You are my guest, and you seem distressed.” He says simply, taking a sip himself. “I would expect you to go to Terzo for something that has you this way.”

I nod, looking up at Copia. “I would, but this is different. It’s about Perpetua.”

Copia’s eyebrows raise at the mention of his brother, piquing his interest. “Oh?”

Sighing as I set the glass down on the table, I turn towards Copia. “I’ve been having… dreams. Like, really weird dreams. Do you know anything about things like that?”

“I mean, yes. I’ve done a lot of studies about dreams and their meanings. What happens in them? Do you see anyone?”

I nod my head, relieved that he should have some knowledge to help me. “It’s happened a few times now. I’m in a dark forest, dense trees, completely dark. The last one I had, there was a full moon that was orange. And usually there’s a lantern that’s always just out of reach. I’ve tried walking to it, but it never gets closer. Usually, someone appears and talks to me. In Latin.

Copia nods, sipping his wine thoughtfully. “Hmmm. Do you know this person?”

My eyes darken, and I go to grab my glass again. “I didn’t at first. It was always a shadow, then in my last dream… it’s Perpetua. This last dream wasn’t like the others, either.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” I take a large gulp, feeling the alcohol sting my throat as it goes down. “It started the same, but then as I started to see who he was, my mind went to different memories. Personal, secret-type memories. And then when the last one concluded, he appeared.”

Copia looks at me for a moment, thinking in his head. I wish I could hear his thoughts; what might he be thinking of this? Does his think I’m insane? Infatuated?

“And you said he always speaks in Latin?” He asks.

I nod my head. “At first I didn’t understand it. Then I was able to start translating it. The last things he said before I woke up were in clear, fuckin English.”

“I see.” Copia looks down at his glass. I can tell he’s biting his tongue, not wanting to say too much. The wheels are still turning, but he isn’t speaking on it yet. “And you’re sure it’s been Perpetua the entire time?”

”The voice has always remained the same. I wasnt able to place it at first, but now that I work with him so much, it’s always been him. I know it may sound impossible, and it probably is, but I feel like he’s been intentionally diving into my dreams.”

The words come out rushed, like I’m trying to chase them from us as they’re spoken. I feel utterly exposed having said all of this Copia. I know I sound insane.

“I even went so far as to yell at him about it,” I start again, my voice lower this time. “He told me he didn’t have anything to do with it. Completely brushed it off. Offered me space away, or change my hours to allow for more sleep.”

Copia places a hand on my knee, keeping me from saying anything further. He gives me a sympathetic look through his mismatched eyes, his dark circles evident, but not as deep as they once were. “You know my thoughts on my brother, Lilith. I don’t trust him anymore than Terzo does. But I fear this could be nothing more than just subconscious thoughts pushing their way through, using a new face as their mode of transport.”

I frown. “You mean to say that it is just in my head?”

“It has to be. None of us can just… enter dreams at will. It’s no secret our bloodline is marked with weird abilities, but none are that extreme.”

I finish off my glass of wine, sighing to myself. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I just needed further confirmation that my suspicions are misplaced assumptions. Maybe I’m just a little too paranoid, and given the recent changes that keep growing, my mind can hardly keep up.

”You would know better than anyone, I guess.” I finally conclude, looking at Copia. He nods, setting his glass down and standing. He holds a gloved hand out to me, beckoning me to stand.

“I don’t know about that, but I am confident in our conclusion. Your life has been changing just as quick as when you first got here. You could have just held on to these memories as a way to ground yourself, feel something familiar as you’re met with something new.”

I take his hand, standing and following him towards the entrance of his office. Copia pulls me in for a hug as I begin my departure, something he doesn’t normally do. But, it’s comforting, exactly what it needs to be.

“I would do some self reflection. Meditate, spend some time in your head and figure out what’s bothering you most about these changes. Maybe it’ll help you understand your surroundings better.”

“Frater Imperator and his wise wisdom at it again.” I respond, chuckling.

He chuckles back, holding his head down. “Yes well, it was once you who helped me in my time of need. I’ll always be here to return the favor.”

We look at each other for a moment, speaking a silent goodbye before I leave his office. On my way back to my room, I think to myself about the sudden changes and events that have transpired. I’ve just been pushing myself into my work, day in and day out, all week. I haven’t necessarily given myself much of a break.

Not to mention, having to adjust my schedule and learn Perpetua’s quirks and preferences has been a daunting task. I’ve never helped a Papa in their transition before; like he keeps telling me, this is all so new. Sure I’ve helped with sermons, schedules, and events. But I’ve never done this.

Nor, have I ever been brought onto the stage.

Once I’m back in my room, I find a small black box with a purple ribbon on top. I pick it up as I walk inside my room, making sure the door is locked as I step away. After checking every corner and nook, I sit at my bed to open it. 
Inside is a necklace; or rather, a choker, made from black leather chord. It has a silver clasp on one side, and the opposite… a jeweled skull, reminiscent of Perpetua’s tie adornment, along with a silver bat wing charm.

There’s a note below it, written on a small black card.

’For all of your help, dear Lilith. It will be an honor to share this era with you.’

I smile at the note, placing the choker on my nightstand along with the box and note. After reaching to shut my light off, I pull my phone out to send a text to Perpetua.

’I love it. Have a good rehearsal, V. 💀🦇’

I shut my phone off before I take advantage of the early hour, tucking myself into my bed for a long, long rest.

This time, happily devoid of strange dreams.

Chapter Text

It’s bright, it’s early, and I’m fucking miserable about it.

The inaugural sermon starts at 10 this morning, immediately followed by the performance of Satanized. From there, the clergy and congregation will gather in the dining hall for a special lunch as coordinated by Papa Nihil. Once that’s finally concluded, Perpetua and the ghouls will be rehearsing Lachryma and Umbra back to back to work out any kinks before the ghouls begin recording tomorrow. Needless to say, it’s going to be extremely busy as we finish out Perpetua’s first week as Papa.

I had to wake up at 6 this morning to get ready. Thankfully, my dreams were actually normal last night; so I was able to get some decent rest. Maybe it was the way the dream ended, or my hyper fixation on them that allowed them to finally cease. I’m not sure, but I do not have the time to dwell on it today.

Today’s outfit is regal; ankle length velvet black dress, with long sleeves and a lace upper chest area that wraps around the base of my neck. The dress clings to my abdomen, flowing freely down my legs. In addition to my grucifix, I don the choker that Perpetua had gifted me. It’s not too heavy, and accentuates the outfit far better than I anticipated. Makeup is typical; contouring my pale face, black top and bottom eyeliner, and filling in my black brows. Finally, I have my hair in a high bun, with the pentagram pins stuck in random places.

Though it’s not a full ritual, it is a rather important event in the church. The last time someone delivered their first sermon was seven years ago, when Copia first joined the church. From what I’ve heard, it was… interesting, to say the least. I mean, he chose Rats and brought in an entire dance team of ghoulettes to introduce his era. That’s one hell of a statement for someone as quiet as he is. Though, I suppose, the dancers take the full attention away from him.

After taking one final look in the mirror, I grab a pair of black, wedged heels and make my way towards Perpetua’s chambers. The halls are much more lively right now, it being 8 am. The congregation are piling into the chapel, pushing and shoving excitedly to get the best seat in the room. Not a single one of them notices me as I scurry through, passing by the chapel doors and towards the opposite wing. Out of the corner of my eye I see Secondo and Primo, decked out in their makeup and chasubles, mitres perfectly placed. I duck my head down as I filter through the crowd, but it was in vain.

”Sister Lilith? Where are you going this early?”

It’s Secondo who speaks, and my heart nearly stops. I stop in my tracks, slowly turning towards the brooding men towering over the busy hallway. The two stare down at me, Secondo with a smirk and Primo with a stone face expression. Apart from Nihil, these are my two biggest critics.

Definitely not the two I wanted to be stopped by on this already chaotic morning.

”Good morning your eminences. I was just making my way to see Papa Perpetua, assist him in getting ready for today’s sermon.” I bow slightly to the men, trying to hide how nervous they make me.

I hear Primo chuckle under his breath. Moving my head back up, I see him lean over to his brother and whisper something in Italian to him. Secondo feeds into whatever he said, chuckling himself.

“La ragazzina è così desiderosa di essere riconosciuta che riceve visite a domicilio. Chissà se la cosa potrebbe essere sistemata a nostro favore?” Primo mutters.

”E rispondere a Terzo? Non ne varrebbe la pena.” Secondo responds.

My ears prick up at the mention of Terzo, causing me to frown. I clear my throat, trying to put on my best polite smile. I wish so badly I could understand their snide remarks. The way their green and white eyes glance over me makes my stomach turn, and their attitudes cause me to want to shrink. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy these two immensely. Not just for their music, but their wisdom. They’re just… old.

”Perpetua keeps you busy, yes Sister?” Primo speaks, tilting his head as his eyes study my posture. “Is he… keeping on task?”

I swallow the lump in my throat, opening my mouth to respond when I feel hands on my shoulders. “My dear brothers, excuse us for just a moment.”

As always, my knight in gloomy armor; Terzo.

He leads me forward and away from the pair, keeping his hand on the small of my back. “You know far better than to get yourself caught with them, little one.” Terzo sneers, moving us farther towards the side staircases.

”I’m literally just trying to work.” I grumble.

We stop inside the doorway to the stairs, Terzo holding me at arms length. “I know you are, but things are completely different when a new Papa enters the church. You should’ve seen them when Copia got here… they’re insatiable old men, Lily.”

”Could you please not call me that in the open like this?” I snap, keeping my voice low.

Terzo’s eyebrows shoot up, taken aback by my command. He drops his hands slowly from me, holding them up in defense. “I’m sorry, I forgot. Just…”

”Please be careful. I’m aware. Listen, I have to go if any of us are to be on time today. I’m sorry, Terzo.” I run up the stairs, barely looking back to see his quizzical expression. In all honesty, ever since I had the dream about our intimate interaction, it’s hard for me to be around him. Again. When it happened, we didn’t speak for about a week. Luckily, it was so early in my arrival here that we were able to move past it quickly.

But, I had learned to put it out of my mind. When it shows back up unwanted, intrusively, it makes things far more difficult.

Once I reach the fourth floor, I finally take a moment to breathe. With the nervousness from the three Papas, I managed to climb quickly without me even realizing it. I look towards Perpetua’s door, feeling relief as I have finally made it to my destination. Within a few steps, I arrive. I knock lightly on the door, looking around as I wait.

Perpetua opens it quickly, pulling me inside and shutting the door. He locks it, all before I can even gain a sense of what’s going on. “Perpetua?” I ask, trying to focus my eyes on something amongst all of this movement.

He stands before me, tight black jeans and a plain black button down shirt. He looks me over a few times, softening his grip on my shoulders. I feel my eyebrows draw together, confusion plastered across my face. What the hell is wrong with all of the clergymen today?

I see his face makeup done up perfectly, and his jeweled mask covering half of it as usual. The points on his lips, now looking more like vampire teeth to me, seem sharper as well. He’s already spent so much time on how he looks, it seems. We still haven’t even dressed the man yet.

”I’m sorry, just making sure you’re okay. Terzo-“

”Ah, to hell with Terzo right now. You two need to chill out when it comes to Primo and Secondo.” I roll my eyes as I talk, crossing my arms. “I’m fine. Just two, horny old men bothered me. Now you need to get dressed!”

I try to push Perpetua towards his room, but he’s an unmoving statue before me. He smirks at me, clearly amused at my inability to budge him. Giving him a few more unsuccessful pushes, I huff. I place my hands on my hips as I look up at him. “You’re going to be late,” I grumble.

”Forgive me, dear Lilith. Just admiring your new necklace.” He gives me a wink before spinning on his heel, quickly moving towards his room. I feel my cheeks flush, and instantly move my hand to cover it. I can’t help but notice my stomach is starting to get butterflies as well.

Trying to ignore the feeling, I follow Perpetua to see his cassock displayed near a mirror, on a mannequin. It’s honestly more plain than I anticipated, though I remember him saying there’s plenty of adornments to add. He is standing on the opposite side of the mirror, staring at the clothing with a perplexed expression.

”This is my first time in this one. I need your help because I had a lot of ideas for it, without any way to test them out.” He looks at me with a devilish smile, “so you’re going to help me try them out.”

I roll my eyes, but smirk as I walk towards the costume. It’s mainly black, with a deep purple sash for the waist. The lining is purple, creating a sleek border for every single cut and corner. The buttons, as well, are purple. I motion for Perpetua to put it on, and he does so quickly.

Once every button is fastened, I assist him in wrapping the sash around the center of his abdomen. I check around his back as he adjusts the fit in the mirror, pulling and tugging on different edges. “It’s not perfect, but it’ll suffice. Now for the real kicker…”

Perpetua runs off to what I assume is a walk in closet, disappearing for a moment. I take the opportunity to be nosy; looking around at the decorations in his private area. It’s pretty simple, and plain, just like the rest of his chambers. I do notice a few boxes stuffed in an empty corner, however, thinking to myself that he’s probably just so busy he can’t attend to every single thing he owns. I don’t blame him. The only real hint of decor in here are two bookshelves by the bed, floor-to-ceiling height and packed with books.

I’ll never understand how him and Copia have amassed so much literature. I wonder what the odds are that they both have the same books.

Finally, Perpetua erupts from the closet with a large black case. I frown, looking between him and it as he sets it down on his bed. He smiles at me before clicking it open, revealing what’s inside.

It’s bones. Metallic bones. There’s a portion that looks more like bat wings, and then a section that turns into this long, skeletal tail. Perpetua picks up the wings bit and hands them to me. “Top of shoulders,” he says, patting to the spot on his body. He stands square in front of the mirror, holding still. For once, I’m happy I wore heels; I wouldn’t have been able to reach properly if I hadn’t. I place each section on either shoulder, finding hidden clips to fasten them to his cassock sleeves.

Perpetua looks it over in the mirror, nodding in approval. “The other piece goes on my back, like a spine.”

Oh. Well, that makes more sense.

Lining the bones up with where the shoulder ones stop, I fasten the top of the spine with his collar and use my fingers to lightly press each clip into place. The tail hangs freely, though not to where it swings or anything. I take a step back, admiring the craftsmanship of the accessory. It’s fitting, honestly. Perfect amount of detail to compliment the rather simplistic design of the cassock.

”How does it look?” Perpetua asks softly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I look at him through the mirror, smirking. “Spooky.”

”Secular?”

”Satanized.” I growl, eliciting a laugh from Perpetua. I return the laughter, watching as he turns slowly to face me.

”Mitre.” I remind him, nodding towards it on a stand in the corner of the room. He nods, uttering an ‘ah’ as he shuffles to grab it. I assist him with placing it on his head, making sure it’s straight and none of the decorations are askew. This is probably the most extravagant mitre I have ever seen a Papa wear; and we’re talking even more so than the Flamboyant One himself. I frown, though, noticing something with it is… off.

Perpetua, noticing my look, speaks up. “I have more than one mitre, Lilith.”

“Satan below, why?”

He simply shrugs, looking at himself again through the mirror. “Different outfits, different mitres.”

Can’t argue with that logic.

Perpetua takes one final turn, holding his arms out as he does. I look over every section of his outfit, watching as it glints and gleams in the light with movement. His eye mask, the mitre; all of has some light-catching component to it, even being as dark as it.

It’s almost like he’s showing you can find light in the darkness.

I bring myself out of thought, once again, smiling and nodding my head. “Mise en place, Perpetua. I think you may be ready.”

”Ready to get it over with…” He mutters to himself, finding his silver, shiny gloves and slipping them over his fingers.

”It’ll be over before you know it. Though, I’m sure getting away will prove to be a difficult task…” I trail off, moving my hands behind my back and raising an eyebrow.

Perpetua squints at me. “What do you mean?”

I chuckle to myself, shaking my head. “The congregation, Perpetua. It’ll be their first chance at getting their hands on you… and I mean literally.”

His eyes widen at my words, and I fear if he didn’t have the face paint on that he would be turning white. My expression changes to a more surprised look, trying to think of a way to remedy the realization. There are ways, he’ll just have to bear with me.

”I can help with that, just so you know. Working with Copia the past couple of years has proved useful in the sense that I know where the secret passages and routes in the church are. If you don’t want to entertain… after hours, I can help you slip out.”

He cringes at certain phrases, but ultimately relaxes his face. “I know I’m not one to talk when it comes to being nervous, but… It’s just a sermon.”

”…and a performance.”

“The focus should be on the former.”

I roll my eyes, patting his shoulder as I push him towards the door. “The sooner you learn their ways, the easier it gets. Come on, we need to go.”

”Lilith, wait.” Perpetua plants his feet in the floor, turning to face me as I had just gotten him through to the living room. “One more thing.”

I scoff, but let go of my grip. He turns back to disappear in his room, but only for a moment as he returns rather quickly. He holds up the tiny jeweled skull that my necklace matches, smirking as he attaches it to his top button.

”Now, I believe I am ready.”

I showed Perpetua one of the many secret pathways from his chambers to the chapel; an old service tunnel that runs parallel to the walkway on the first floor, situated above. There are tiny windows throughout the tunnel, allowing one to see where in the church they are looming. I stop us at a perfect window above the chapel, facing the altar from the main doorway.

Perpetua peers through it, in awe of the crowd of people and clergymen that have stuffed themselves inside the room. Each Papa sits at their respective throne, with one in the middle empty. From here I can see Primo and Secondo talking to each other, with Nihil on their right with his oxygen mask puffing away. Sister Imperator leans against Nihil’s throne, staring at the crowd. Terzo is sitting in a relaxing posture, hand propping his head up as he scans the room. Copia, finally, is sitting rigidly in his chasuble, black and white face paint adorned. He seems to be looking anywhere but the crowd, and sure enough finds us peering through the window. From here, Perpetua and I witness his eye roll, and a subsequent readjustment of his posture as he looks away from us.

”That’s… a lot of people.” Perpetua states, leaning away from the window. I chuckle, placing my hand on his arm.

”No doubt more than the night of your anointing. Don’t worry, I’m confident that they’ll love the shit out of you.” I say, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

Perpetua gives me a small smile, nodding. “Copia seems…”

”Remember, you two are twins. He’s just as unenthused as you are. Actually, probably more so.”

“Yeah, yeah… Let’s get this thing over with, shall we?” Perpetua holds his elbow out to me, to which I take before leading him down a hidden set of stairs and to the opposite side of the chapel.

The two of us stop before the curtain that leads to the stage, facing each other. Perpetua pulls and tugs on certain parts of his cassock, ensuring it looks good. I walk around to his back, making sure his spine is straight and fastened. “Your outfit is perfect, your eminence. I fear it may be time to satanize the masses.” I state, coming back around to face him with a smile.

Perpetua takes a deep breath, nodding. He looks at me for a moment, studying me. “Where will you be?”

I frown, but keep my smile. “Over here, in the shadows of course.”

He purses his lips together, looking around to see the ghouls gathered together with their instruments. “Wait here.”

Perpetua runs over to them, speaking in hushed tones. I watch as the group of them contemplate something, making my mind wander. What is this man conspiring about?

Phantom and Perpetua return to me, white shiny teeth peering through Phantom’s open portion of his mask. “Stick with Phantom, Lilith.”

I give Perpetua a confused look, glancing at the ghoul. “I’m sorry?”

”Please? I’ll explain later.”

If it’s not one thing, it’s another more confusing one with this man. But, I’ll oblige him. I nod, stepping to Phantom as Perpetua takes one last breath before walking out onto the stage. The crowd erupts in cheers, seeing their new Papa in all of his unholiness. Phantom pulls me with him, walking towards a darkened metal staircase that leads to the overhead walkways.

Ah, I see now. As Phantom pulls me to a certain edge, the entire stage is within full view. The only people who can see who are up here are those near the altar, not the congregation. Perpetua probably wanted me to have an unobstructed view, hidden, and away from those who could bother me.

I look over at Phantom, my heels allowing me to be almost at his height. “Thank you,” I whisper. “Is this because…”

”Comfort.” Phantom mutters, not saying or doing anything more. My eyebrows shoot up at his use of English, a million questions forming in my head. However, I’m not able to ask any single one of them as Perpetua begins his sermon.

His voice is shaky at first, reading through the first couple of lines. Instinctively, I hold the charms dangling from my necklace as I watch. I take a deep breath as if I’m trying to will him to do the same. Once he gets through the introduction, Perpetua pauses and looks up to me. I give him a nod, smiling. I watch as his shoulders relax, before he goes back into his words; this time, confidently.

I watch the congregation listen to every single word he says, hanging on to each sentence with a hunger for more. He talks heavily about how times are constantly changing; the world becomes darker, more corrupt as the days go on. Families turn against each other, morals are blurred, and it seems like the world has forgotten its purpose. The congregation nods, agreeing amongst themselves.

But then he speaks of hope; that if you can count on one thing, it’s yourself. Even as the darkness plagues the land, light always finds a way to shine through. He brings up stories of Lucifer’s trials and triumphs against the holiest of wars. Perpetua speaks that we, as a religion, are feared due to the way we wield the darkness; the umbra. That we are wholly accepted under His eye; sins and all. Lucifer did not die for our sins, no. He thrives so we may sin. He loves us for our flaws, our tribulations.

Shit. If I was in that congregation as I was 10 years ago, I would’ve converted in an instant with Perpetua’s words.

As he closes out his sermon, the crowd roars. Perpetua looks up to me, a smirk on his lips. I shake my head, but clap for him. Phantom had disappeared from my side a moment ago to join the rest of the ghouls on stage, shrouded in darkness as they take their places. Perpetua turns back to the congregation, holding one shiny glove up to halt their applause.

”Now, tell me, Brothers and Sisters of Sin… will you allow me to Satanize you?”

I shake my head as I chuckle, listening to crowd hoop and holler at his request. The lights shut off in an instant, and purple ones shine to replace them. Sodo’s guitar rings out through the hall, the band coming alive as the song begins. The crowd roars once more; the reason they came, after all, is always the music.

Perpetua, now standing at the microphone, looks over the room of standing individuals, a certain hunger in his eyes that I can’t describe. He surveys the crowd row by row, straight faced as the congregation begins nodding to the rhythm.

Grabbing the mic and stand in one swift movement, Perpetua sings.

”There is something inside me
And they don't know if there is a cure
A demonic possession
Unlike any before
It's a sickening heartache
And it's slowly tormenting my soul
I've invested my prayers
Into making me whole”

As he continues on, he begins moving his head to different parts of the crowd. His finger shoots up as he sings the next bit, becoming increasingly more into the performance as he sings through to the chorus.

The lights strobe as the performance continues on, absolutely captivating the audience. I must admit, this is an incredible song. Hearing it live makes a world of a difference, and the longer it goes on the more it gives Perpetua confidence. As his personality begins to show, the congregation mirrors in their excitement.

He begins to move around the stage more, interacting with the crowd and the other ghouls. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two figures below me. I look down, unmoving, and witness Primo and Secondo stalking around the area, clearly looking for something. Shuffling silently, I keep to the shadows. The last thing I need is to be alone around them.

”Blasphemy! Heresy!”

It’s not long before they give up on whatever endeavor they were on, and leave the area. Letting out a sigh of relief, my attention goes back to the performance in front of me. Perpetua is moving around, having the time of his life out there. My heart swells, this man is letting go and in the best way possible.

He sings through the next verse and chorus confidently, and it feeds the crowd. Each time he reaches forward, the congregation mirrors and tries their damndest to reach him back. They’re entirely captivated, falling for the new Papa quickly. It’s amazing to watch, honestly. He has the charisma to make the sisters swoon, the brothers desire. Not to mention, he’s the new, extra shiny toy.

I lose myself as I watch him perform, swaying along to the song. The lights go out for a moment, before a single purple spotlight shines on him. My breath catches in my throat as Perpetua’s gaze is upon me now.

”I should have known not to give in. I should have known not to give in…”

The lights go back to strobing, and he continues the remainder of the song. I finally remember to breathe, feeling the butterflies return to my stomach. This feeling has got to stop… yet, I won’t do anything to avoid it.

The song concludes before I know it, and Perpetua is thanking the crowd. I quickly move down the stairs, meeting Perpetua right at the bottom. In an instant, his arms wrap around me. I can feel the butterflies getting crazier now. It catches me off guard initially, but soon enough I’m hugging him back.

The ghouls surround us quickly, excited after the small performance. Perpetua pulls away slowly, smiling down at me. His eyes are gazing into mine for a moment, maybe a moment too long. But his attention is pulled away as Sodo pushes through the middle of where we’re standing. Sodo turns to look at us, rolling his eyes as he walks away. Perpetua and I look back at each other, chuckling.

”What did you think?” He asks, pulling off his mitre.

”It was incredible, all of it. The sermon captivated the masses, and the song stole their souls.”

”Just as Lucifer intended.”

We laugh again, turning our attention to the ghouls near us. Cirrus skips up to me, gesturing to my outfit. I spin around for her, showing it completely off. She claps, nodding enthusiastically. Her hand reaches towards my necklace, touching the charms gently.

She moves her head as she looks at Perpetua, then back to me. Her hand moves back before she pulls me into an even tighter hug than his. I hug her back, beginning to feel overwhelmed by all of the close contact from everyone. I take a deep breath before we let go, giving Cirrus a small smile as she departs.

”The brothers Emeritus didn’t bother you, did they?” Perpetua asks quietly, leaning in slightly.

I shake my head. “Couldn’t find me where Phantom left me.”

”Good, good. That’s why I had you go up there, honestly. I knew they’d get bored and try to catch you again.” He rolls his eyes, folding his arms across his chest.

I smirk, shaking my head. “You forget, I’ve spent two years with them. I’m used to their… shenanigans.” That’s probably the most polite way to put it.

Perpetua chuckles, holding his arm out to guide me away from the staircase. “Yes, yes… but now you don’t have to be. Come, show me the best way away from the madness.”

Nodding, I begin walking quickly towards a hidden doorway, tucked into the back corner of the room. Perpetua and I meander our way through quickly and quietly, eventually finding a dimly lit stone staircase. From here, we climb the flights of stairs back towards his chambers to shed his costume.

With every couple of steps, I peek behind me to make sure he’s keeping up. Every other time, his eyes lock with mine and he smiles. Each time, I feel my blushing cheeks grow warmer and warmer.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I leaned more into this feeling.

Chapter Text

I helped Perpetua out of his cassock once we arrived back in his chambers. The ghouls had instantly gone to the studio to get ready for rehearsal. Perpetua had offered me to join, but I figured I’d head back to my own room instead. As much as I’m growing to like Perpetua (much to my apprehension), I’m more interested in being surprised on some of these songs and how they’ll sound live. I know that eventually I’ll know them all, recorded and otherwise. But for now, I’ll enjoy the ignorance.

My walk back to my side of the church grounds was uneventful, and rather dull. Most everyone who was around have filed out by now, and the other Papas are more than likely back in their chambers. Knowing Terzo, he probably found a lucky Sister of Sin to entertain for the day.

As I arrive at my door, I see the silhouette of someone’s back facing me. I frown, tilting my head to the side as I come up closer, finally recognizing the chasuble in front of me. Primo.

He turns quickly upon hearing my footsteps. In the lowlight of this part of the hallway, his white eye glows. A sickening grin creeps onto his lips, looking me over as I stop apprehensively in front of him. “Ah, Sister Lilith, we meet again.”

”Papa Primo, with all due respect… you’re at my door.” I glance towards it, folding my arms across my chest.

He watches closely as I do, cocking an eyebrow at my action. “Correct. It seems I have an issue that’s come up, Sister, and it involves you.”

I frown, feeling my heart race. My fingers begin picking at the fabric of my dress. It’s very rare in the past for the First to ever bring anything to my attention, but usually if something comes up, it’s one of the more sensitive topics of the ministry that needs a senior touch. Items for him and Nihil’s discretion only are relative to outside events; how we’re viewed by the public, for example. A satanic ministry is never out of the public eye, and always scrutinized. While the Frater Imperator sits at the head, he’s still so new to role that he’s expected to continue with internal affairs rather than the outward ones.

“You remember a certain night two years ago where the leader of the group known as the Ascension of Christ was killed, correct?” Primo continues, bluntly I might add.

I nod slowly. “I’m aware.”

“Well, it seems that they have a new leader. I was recently contacted by them, actually. A young man, very polite I might add. Even given the circumstances, he spoke to me with high regard and respect; funny enough, I assume it’s only for the fact that he is requesting something of us.”

I begin biting my inner lip, not liking where this is going. Primo’s smile drops, and he steps closer. “He’s requesting the return of someone lost amongst the tragedy that befell their… little organization. His sister, mainly. When he told me this, I explained to him how anyone who has chosen to follow a newer, darker path has the freedom to do so. They’re safe in my walls; under the Dark Lord’s roof, as their god was ultimately not as accepting as ours is. But then the boy, what is his name… ah, Josiah. Josiah was looking for a girl by the name of Eden, which I could not place for the life of me. He described her as short, pale, with dark, curly hair and bright brown eyes like their mother. Someone around 27 years old, with distinctive marks across their arms…”

My breath catches in my throat as Primo ticks off each descriptor with his fingers. He crosses his arms, giving me a most serious expression. “I told him I would have to figure out if anyone in my ministry fits that description. He understood, being a pious and patient man. Josiah just wants to make sure his sister is safe, and she’s requested to return home to settle some affairs. Interesting conversation, do you agree?”

Out of all the things I expected today, this was definitely at the bottom of the list. My brother, Josiah, is also my twin. He and I were subjected to extensive torture throughout our time in the cult. Between the grueling hours of bible study, manual labor on the compound upkeep, and finally the… Trials… the two of us were the most important pieces of the cult.

Josiah and I were born under the New Moon in the month of June. This was a night that the leader had ‘prophesied’ apparently years before we were born. As such, we were placed on a pedestal. Though we received better treatment from the other cult members, most of the leadership, and our family was the best taken care of, we also received the hardest trials. “God gives his toughest trials to his most devout followers,” they would tell us. “It’s all for the greater good, by showing you can triumph through pain you will win over the darkness.” We were battered, beaten, whipped, and scarred over years. The Trials began when we turned 6, and our parents did nothing but encourage them.

Ultimately, the leader had a prophecy that twins of the threshold, born in darkness, would be the catalysts in a mass conversion of the world. We were human vehicles of faith for the masses. As Josiah and I grew into our twenties, we were beginning to learn more of what our purpose was. When I delivered my sermon that night, it was supposed the be the stepping stone towards the Grand Ascension. Clearly, I put that plan to waste.

I can only assume that Josiah was thrusted into the leadership role after I came here, and continued the leader’s teachings. It pains me to think of my other half as a blind, sheepish man who has drank too much koolaid to think for himself. But, as the First stands before me now, it seems that may be the case.

Primo stares into me, unmoving. I swallow hard, nodding at his information. “Interesting indeed, your eminence.” I fear saying more, or asking, as I can’t tell where his mind is going with the revelation.

”I may have not treated you with a soft demeanor, nor respectfully in the past Sister Lilith. But I do take this ministry seriously, and view all of my fellow members of the clergy with high honor. I will protect those who chose the darkness with my life within these walls. However…” he pauses, reaching out to touch the charms on my necklace. “I cannot say the same for rest of my congregation, nor can I say you will be protected if you were to leave this fortress.”

I frown again. It almost sounds as if Primo is warning me to keep me safe, as opposed to any sort of extortion or guilt tripping.

”Be careful who you trust, Sister. And I would advise not leaving the church grounds on your own. I’m not entirely familiar with the cult that drove you to our doors, but I’ve dealt with others in the past that hold arrogance in the face of the devil. They feel that the light will protect them, even in a pit.” With his final word, the man leaves. He doesn’t stick around to entertain any questions, to say anything further.

I watch as he walks on, disappearing down the hallway. This day continues to get weirder and weirder as it goes on, and honestly… it exhausts me. Putting the key into my door, I open it hastily so I may enter and hide myself from the rest of the Papas.

As I move throughout my room, I shed my clothes. The shoes get kicked off and placed under my bed, and I unzip my dress before pulling it off and tossing it into the hamper. I sigh to myself as I see the pile of clothes that needs to be washed, reminding me that just because my work has been increased, my personal chores get pushed out of my mind even more. Mental note — laundry.

Gathering a set of black shorts and an old Ghost t shirt, I bring them with me to the bathroom. In the mirror, I look at my arms for the first time in what feels like forever. Along them, between the scars and marks from past tortures, lies tattoos that were forced upon me at a young age. The leader had designed them; symbols, words, and patterns that are a roadmap to the Grand Ascension. Josiah has a matching set, though more tailored to him as a man. They were placed on our skin upon our 12th birthday as part of a Trial. I remember it being painful, grueling, like the cult member was dragging a dull knife through my skin. Each symbol was specifically placed as according to the prophecy; planets, constellations, and comets. Patterns spread between them to show the proper sequences. And lastly, words of scripture that were to be repeated during different rituals were added. Our mantra, the leader would tell Josiah and I.

This is the reason I continue to wear long sleeves and large T shirts when I’m alone. I find these scribbles of a madman to be an embarrassment, and could tell any person keen enough to know about my past. I receive enough judgement from the congregation already, the last thing I need is for them to see these and fuel their fire more. I haven’t worn a single short sleeved article of clothing since I arrived here, and I believe only Terzo has seen them. He’s never commented on them, but has never questioned my fashion choices otherwise. I almost wonder if my uniform for the upcoming rituals with Perpetua was made specifically for what I’ve worn in the past, or if he was given input from Terzo. Maybe he just likes the uniform look of everyone wearing longer sleeves, and I’m just incredibly stellar at reading far too much into our interactions.

I pull myself away from the mirror, heading towards my desk. Out of a drawer I grab a planner that directly mirrors Perpetua’s calendar to see where we’re at. Sermon and first song performance is out of the way, check. Tonight they’ll rehearse until every single kink is ironed out for Umbra and Lachryma. Tomorrow can serve as a day of rest before they’re back in the studio Monday morning, meaning I’ll probably be first in Perpetua’s office that day. That reminds me…

I pull out my phone, opening up the messages between Perpetua and I. I send a quick one to him regarding the office key that I have yet to acquire.

His response is quicker than I anticipate. ‘Oh! I completely forgot about that. I can drop it off this evening.’

’Perfect, I’ll be here in my room whenever you get a chance.’ I text back, locking my phone and setting it back on my desk. I flip through the pages of my planner once more, looking for a specific date; the inaugural ritual. It’s two weeks from now; April 12th.

I sigh to myself. If I know anything, we’ll be leaving for the tour shortly after the ritual. Not a single appointment was made after this date apart from sermons, but those will be scratched out and the Papas will each be taking an extra sermon each rotation to make up for it.

It’s not that I’m not excited to leave. Granted, I’ve never been outside of this city, and I am quite nervous. But I’ll be on stage every night, and I’m not even sure for how long. I may bend Perpetua’s ear about this later. Lucifer willing, he has just been so busy he forgot to tell me.

Placing the planner back into my desk, I stand and make my way over to my bed. After all of the interactions — and waking up early — I feel completely exhausted. A good nap will do me just fine. Plus, I would assume it’ll be a while before Perpetua drops by the key. I shall happily take this moment to sleep.

I wake a few hours later, the sunset pouring through my windows. Checking my phone, I see nothing has happened whilst I was asleep. Perpetua must be entirely too busy still. Well, as long as it’s productive, I see no reason to really wait around for something that can just be slipped under the threshold.

It’s Saturday night. Typically, I’ll be holed up here in my room with take out and a horror movie binge. A life under a pious roof did not allow me to intake anything secular, so over the past few years I’ve been watching all of the classics. Saw, Night of the Living Dead, Evil Dead, all have been viewed in perfect succession as Lucifer intended. Though tonight, I feel a little… edgy.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone out to the city. I used to take some times on my weekends to explore, hit up coffee shops and little restaurants. Once or twice I’ve found myself in a dive bar or two — this is how I was able to lose my virginity once upon a time. Satan only knows temptation grows after freedom is acquired. Considering I’ll be traveling here soon, I figure it may serve me some good to get a night out out of my system before the one grand road trip that awaits.

I dress in one of my favorite outfits - short skater skirt, fishnet tights, my black boots, and a long sleeved tight black shirt with a ‘boob window’ on the chest. I touch up my makeup; not entirely ruined due to my nap, thank Satan. Lastly, I grab a knife to hook onto my skirt. One last look in the mirror, and I feel satisfied.

I know that it may be stupid for me to exit the church literally right after Primo advised me not to, but unfortunately I do not care. There is very little probability that I’d be in any real danger if I just head out for a few drinks; it’s not like the cult is having its members posted up on street corners surveying every single person that walks past to make sure it’s not me. Hell, the way that place was running before I left it, the amount of members were already dwindling. If anything, news that my brother took over a dying religion is tragic.

Imagine being so lost in the sauce you’ll sacrifice your life to keep a fairytale alive.

After peering through my room door to check for any watchful eyes, I quickly shut and lock it before disappearing through a hidden corridor to make my way outside. This one leads directly to the cemetery, winding through the church in near darkness before a steep set of stairs sends one outside. I manage to escape quietly, taking another look around the grounds before I scurry off towards the street. It’s always dark and quiet around here, even more so tonight. The moon is full and orange as it rises, absolutely beautiful.

It takes about ten minutes before I make it to a little plaza on the main road. There’s little shops, a hair salon, a couple restaurants and bars as well. I stop for a moment, looking around at my options. The sports bar is packed to the brim, as well as the dive bar near it. I look over towards one of the restaurants, seeing it’s not nearly as busy as the other places. The bar right next door, same. Bingo.

I step into the building, seeing it decorated under a metal theme. I nod to myself, smirking. Somehow, I chose the best place to spend my evening. It’s honestly rather dead in here, too. There’s a few people sitting at tables, one person singing terrible karaoke, and only one side of the bar is occupied. I take this as my sign to go to the opposite side, closer to the karaoke stage.

A tall, large man with a braided beard and a Korn t-shirt walks over to me, leaning against the counter with a smirk. “And what can I get for you, miss?” His voice is thick with a southern drawl.

I put on my best smile, trying to remember to be more lively in public. “Shot of tequila and whatever IPA is on draft, please.”

The bartender chuckles, nodding. He steps away to retrieve the drinks, and the person singing a terrible rendition of a Green Day song is finishing their performance. The house playlist begins to play instead, starting off with a song I recognize.

The piano made me question it at first, even when the guitars started I was lost. But then, the voice cut through.

”We conquered the magic, we counted the stars… Deciphered the clockwork, enacted this farce.”

Of course. Terzo follows me just about everywhere, even when he’s not here.

I nod my head to the song, watching as the bartender brings me my requested beverages. I knock back the shot quickly, feeling the warmth of gold tequila spread throughout my body. A smirk grows on my lips, feeling more in my element. Nothing beats taking yourself out to escape the atrocities of the mind.

As I’m sipping my beer, listening to Zenith play out, I notice someone takes the seat next to me. It’s a man - tall, lean, but fit. His hair is longer and black, and he’s dressed rather nicely compared to the atmosphere we’re in; a plain black suit. He orders a White Russian before turning his attention to me, out of the corner of my eye I see him look me up and down.

”Good evening, young lady. What brings you here tonight?” He asks, his voice gruff.

I peek at him as I take another sip of my beer. I cock an eyebrow, turning my head to fully look at him. His face is soft, no stubble to be seen. His eyes are dark behind thick rimmed glasses. I chuckle to myself, shaking my head. “Just trying to enjoy the night to myself, really.”

He responds with a chuckle, turning his head and nodding. “Fair, fair. No judgement there.”

We sit in silence, both of us sipping on our drinks as the music plays on with more metal. I pull out my phone, checking the time. Looking to my glass, I notice that I’m at my last sip. I’m far from being even a little buzzed, but a part of me is inching to leave. My unwanted companion leans over slightly, nudging my shoulder.

”Can I buy you another drink, perhaps?”

I look at him for a moment, contemplating. There’s nothing wrong with a free drink, and I’m definitely not wanting to go home despite my instincts telling me otherwise. I shrug. “Perhaps.”

The man smiles, motioning to the bartender. “White Russian, for the lady please.”

Ick. Vodka. Though, it is free.

The bartender brings me the glass, nodding. “Would you like to close your tab, Ma’am?”

I nod, figuring this last drink should be sufficient. The urge inside me to leave is growing ever more and I figure that once this drink is done, I won’t have to be around this persistent gentleman any longer.

I pick my drink up, holding it as I look to the man. “Cheers?”

He nods with a smile, clinking his glass against mine. “To a quiet night.”

I could only dream.

We both take a sip, and I cringe at the taste. The man laughs at my reaction, setting his drink back down. “Not a fan, eh?”

I shake my head vigorously. “Vodka and I don’t get along very well.”

”That’s fair, unfortunately I don’t try many drinks myself so this is the only one I’m confident in. I’m James, by the way.” He holds a hand out to me, using his other to adjust his glasses.

I take his hand in a stronger than necessary handshake. “Lilith.”

”Lilith,” he repeats, tasting my name on his tongue. “A beautiful name fitting for a beautiful gal.”

This comment causes me to giggle, now feeling the buzzing alcohol hum through me. “I don’t know about all of that, but I appreciate the compliment.”

”Well, at least from where I’m sitting, I can attest to your beauty.”

”Let me guess, that’s why you decided to sit here?” I raise an eyebrow, taking another sip.

He nods, laughing. “Right on the mark. Sometimes a little bar crush isn’t so bad.”

I chuckle, twirling my glass around. “Sometimes,” I repeat.

As we sit and sip, we begin to talk a little more. He’s an accountant for a law firm in the city, hence his apparel. We talk at length about music taste, where we grew up, all of those fun and boring topics people use to get to know each other. Eventually, the alcohol begins to settle in further as my eyelids grow heavier. I remember hearing him offer me a ride back to where I live, but I politely decline. Once I bid my farewell, I rise out of my seat and start heading towards the door.

I don’t even remember reaching the outside before my vision quickly fades to black.

Chapter Text

january, six years ago

Tonight, the new moon rises. Tonight, a Trial is scheduled.

Tonight, I fear will never end.

Josiah was given the confirmation yesterday, much to our dismay. He and I tend to stick to each other closer when Trials are scheduled. As such, we’ve been stuck to the hip. This one is bound to be grueling, though it’s all for the sake of our future. For who are we to question God’s will? We are the bringers of the light, the beacon of truth for the masses.

The world will one day know of our sacrifices, we’re told. I wonder how true that is these days.

It’s dinner time. Mother and our little sisters have been slaving away preparing a full meal for Josiah and I, ensuring the strength we’ll need for whatever may be in store for us. Josiah and I have been sleeping, reading the Bible in between our naps in order to prepare. No labor on Trial days. It’s one of the few good things to look forward to.

I stand from my bed, straightening my blue plaid dress before walking over to Josiah. I nudge him slightly, waking him from a snore-infested slumber. He jolts awake, squinting at me with his light green eyes that differ from mine. Father’s eyes.

”They’re finished with dinner. Let’s get it done.” I state flatly.

Josiah groans, but gets up. “Do you know what they prepared?”

I shake my head, watching his tall stature tower over me as he stretches. “Probably something with beef, from what I can smell.”

Josiah hums, rubbing his stomach. “Let’s go find out, Eden.”

The two of us emerge from our room. Our home is far from modest, though with the amount of siblings, we have to share a room. The compound for our denomination is more of a ranch nestled within city limits. It’s like our own personal neighborhood, a subdivision if you will, but for those awaiting the Ascension. A few families have their own homes, but a lot of members are single or have small enough families to stay in one of the larger buildings. Since we are the family of prodigal Twins, we get luxury.

Josiah and I wander through the hall, down a set of stairs, and into the bustling dining room. Our siblings are crowded around setting the table. Mom appears from the kitchen, a massive pot in her hands. “Make way!” She shouts, setting the pot in the center on a cloth potholder. My sister, Eve, follows behind with the accompanying ladle. She turns to look at me, smiling big as ever.

She’s like me; a spitting image of our mother. Dark hair, caramel eyes, and freckles that dot her face. Her skin’s just as pale as ours, too. She’s 15, still so young. I smile down at her, patting her head, though she’s just about as tall as I am. “You did excellent, kid.” I say proudly.

”Anything for our saviors!”

The sentiment causes me to smile outwardly, though in my heart it brings pain. She doesn’t know of the cost to be someone like Josiah and I, at least not entirely. I almost envy the ignorance.

Josiah and I take our seats, across from each other on either side of the head. Mother sits at the opposite end, our siblings scattered in between. It takes a moment, but our father emerges from the kitchen; holding a medium sized bowl of potatoes. He takes his seat, setting the food down at the same time. All of us look to him, awaiting his first move.

My father clasps his hands together, bowing his head. We all follow suit, awaiting his prayer.

“Father, We have gathered to share a meal in Your honor. Thank You for putting us together as family, and thank You for this food. Bless it to our bodies, Lord. Guide our mealtime conversations and steer our hearts to Your purpose for our lives. Please guide our Josiah and Eden in their journey tonight, give them strength Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

I swallow hard as I choke out a small “Amen”. These trials are terrifying. Not a single one gets any easier, and for the past nine years… I’m exhausted.

The food is passed around; pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, and bread. A nice, hearty meal before the evening. Josiah and I eat in silence, him probably thinking the same things I am. We don’t talk about it out loud, but we do have intuition that helps us guide each others moods. Luckily, by now, the family has learned to let us be before, during, and after these Trials. It’s the least they could do.

Once we finish eating, the younger siblings spend their time cleaning up while Josiah and I pray. The two of us are kneeling in front of the fireplace as it burns. Together, eyes squeezed shut and hands woven tightly, we beg out prayers. We pray for forgiveness, for strength, for mercy.

Our father guides us to the Trial Chamber. It’s across the street, inside the leader’s — Benjamin’s — home. Josiah and I hold hands as we walk through the snow, our knuckles turning white. I know I’m shaking. After the last trial, it took a week before I had the full strength to chop wood. But I wasn’t given that long of a break.

Father leads us into the large home; a modernized mansion. Men wearing cargo pants and button down t shirts greet us, turning as Benjamin jogs down his stairs. He’s barefoot, wearing a stretched out t shirt and blue jeans. His eyes bore into us, a smirk on his lips. I instinctively look down, but Josiah faces him.

”Good evening, our dear twins of the threshold. Are you two ready to serve the lord?” His voice comes out like a snake, venom at the edge of every word. I bite my inner lip, my anxiety growing.

”Yes, Father Benjamin. We are ready,” Josiah’s voice cracks out on the last word, his nerves just as evident.

I hear Benjamin chuckle, before turning away from us. He leads us down a hallway, through a door that leads down to a soundproof cellar. The stairs are concrete, easy to clean. The room is terribly cold, and nearly empty in the center. There are rugs, crosses, and a table with a camera placed in the corner. On the opposite end of the room is a wardrobe full of different… instruments. I pray nothing is needed from there.

Benjamin likes to record our Trials for studying later. Sometimes, it’s really creepy. Other times, it’s humiliating. I fear to know what he does with these tapes sometimes. But, I’m supposed to have faith. And so I tell myself.

Josiah and I are directed to the center of the room, on two separate rugs. These are different than the typical throws they’ll place here; these have moon phases on them. I stand on one depicting the New Moon, Josiah on one depicting a full moon. Our hands never fall from each other’s grasp. We turn together to face the camera and Benjamin.

He clicks the record button, standing straight and taking a deep breath. “Kneel.”

We abide quickly. “Drop your hands.” Benjamin orders, causing us to do so in an instant. I place my hands in my lap, fidgeting with the edge of my dress. As much as I want to look away, I keep my sight focused on Benjamin.

”Tonight we celebrate the New Moon as it rises. As we enter this new year, one before another threshold, we remember the past and all of its glory. We remember the hardships, the battles, but also the triumphs. Ezekiel — the instrument.”

Ezekiel, one of the henchmen under Benjamin, reaches into the wardrobe to retrieve a cat o’ nine tails. I feel a tear drop from my eye. This one hurts the most.

”With each passing year we grow towards the Grand Ascension. Soon, it will come. As you two become more and more prepared, having seen Hell in all of its fury during these Trials, you have grown accustomed to the pain we are soon to leave behind. You have made the ultimate sacrifice to the world to bear the pain of our sins.”

Ezekiel stands behind us, whip at the ready.

”The full moon as always entranced us with the idea of completion, the New Moon a sign of rebirth. Josiah, you have always been one to take the lessons learned from the past and utilize them towards the future. Eden, your sins and burdens have time and time been forgiven and paid in full.”

Ezekiel pushes Josiah aside, the rug going with him. In an instant, my instincts take over to reach for my brother, crying out in desperation. “Stop!” Benjamin yells, making me freeze like a statue.

”You are to carry this burden alone, Eden.”

”Please, Father, her wounds haven’t healed from the last Trial!” Josiah begs, his voice cracking from the tears spilling over his cheeks. My own tears form coat my cheeks, the fear settling in quickly.

”And who are you to argue with God’s will? You know the punishment for interfering. Do you want to experience it again?” Benjamin walks in front of the camera, his hands at his hips.

Josiah and I look to each other, and I shake my head vehemently. His punishment for getting in the way of my Trials is brutal, just as everlasting as mine are. But it only results in more for me. Always for me.

Josiah turns away, holding his hands over his ears. Benjamin nods in satisfaction, gesturing to Ezekiel. “Recite the Lord’s Prayer, line by line.”

I swallow hard, holding myself still and squeezing my eyes shut. I feel my entire body trembling as I remember the words so often said. And the action that divides each line.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

CRACK.

The whip stings my back, the first of many. It doesn’t break the skin, but it tears through my dress.

”Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.”

CRACK. My tears flow heavier, saliva collecting in my mouth as I speak.

”On Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread.”

CRACK. I can feel my skin opening now.

”And forgive us our trespasses.”

CRACK. I feel the blood trickling down the broken fabric of my dress. It’s causing it to stick to each edge of my open wounds, my older ones beginning to weaken as well.

“As we forgive those who trespass against us.”

My voice breaks as the whip comes cracking down on the last word.

“And lead us not into temptation.”

CRACK.

“But deliver us from evil.”

CRACK. CRACK.

“For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory, for ever and ever.”

Three more cracks.

“Amen.”

“In Latin.”

I look up at Benjamin, my tears clouding my vision. I go to shake my head, but instead the whip comes cracking down on my back once again. Sobs escape my mouth, and my head tilts farther down again.

I am broken, completely. Hopeless. God cannot justify to me my pain. My suffering is paramount compared to anyone in this room, and it’s not fair. Not even my brother experiences anything as bad as I do. Never in my life have I felt this broken.

Silently I promise to myself to become the reason Benjamin’s zenith fades.

Baring my teeth, I blink away the tears that remain. My nails dig into the skin of my arms, bracing myself.

”PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum.”

CRACK.

“Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.”

CRACK, CRACK.

”Slower,” Benjamin growls. I take a deep breath, steadying myself. The whip has coated my entire back with blood, cuts, and I know the back of my dress is ruined.

“Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie.”

CRACK.

“et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.”

CRACK.

”Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.”

There’s no finishing crack. I look up slowly, seeing Benjamin directly in front of me. He has a sickly grin spread across his face, and I can hear his breath shakily escaping his lips. I swallow hard, this action alone bringing the fear back into me. I did the prayer right, didn’t I?

With one swift movement, Benjamin’s hand launches to my throat. My airway is restricted as he holds me like this for a moment. I can hear Josiah protesting in the corner, but my choking begins to drown it out. Either that, or someone stopped him. I’m clawing at Benjamin’s hands, attempting to gain any sort of hold of the situation.

”It’s fun to watch you writhe in pain like this. You; the conduit for the wicked, the bringer of darkness. You think you don’t deserve any of these Trials?” He tilts his head, the crazed look in his eyes deepening. “You’re the reason they were created, leech.”

I begin hitting Benjamin’s wrists, trying anything at this point to break free. Before I know it, I’m thrown into the corner of the room. My head hits the wall, but air instantly floods my lungs at the same time.

I’m in a daze. My vision is blurry, I’m still trying to catch up on my breaths, and between the pain in my back and now the one that radiates from my head, I feel the room spin. Benjamin’s bare feet shuffle towards me quickly. He uses my hair to lift my eyes up to his view.

”Parasitic twin who should have never been born. Nothing but a temptress born of sin, but instead given a pedestal. I’ll never understand why the prophecy changed with you. But I’ll make damn sure you never inhibit it.”

All I can muster to do, is gather as much of my saliva and blood in my mouth as possible before I spit it in Benjamin’s face. To attack me like this, unprovoked, isn’t unheard of. But it’s getting fucking old the longer I go through these.

Benjamin’s fist collides my with cheek, effectively knocking me unconscious.

My vision slowly comes online. A few blinks, and I’m finally able to focus my eyes on something. It’s a dark room I’m in, dingy and disgusting. A chair sits in front of me, and the door is behind it. Not a single light is on, but the moon seems to be illuminating as best as it can through a tiny window at the top of the wall.

I look around and notice I’m sitting upright against the far wall, a white tarp underneath me. I frown, before feeling a nauseating headache pulse. Whether it’s from the dream, or whatever happened before I passed out, is beyond me. Fuck, what happened?

Oh. That’s right. I was drinking.

I look around for a moment again, taking everything in with a better sense of reality. It’s an empty, small room probably within a basement. White tarp on the floor. Single chair, concrete walls… fuck. I’m kidnapped.

Looking down at my hands, I notice I’m left untied. I frown, moving my hand to my face. No gag, nothing around my neck. Just in a dark room, by myself. My clothes are all intact as well. A peculiar kidnapping, indeed.

The door opens before too long, and in comes the man I was speaking to at the bar, James. He smiles, a drink in his hand. “Ah, you’re awake. Apologies for the room. I didn’t know if you were going to puke or anything.”

I frown, not speaking a single word. James takes a seat in the chair, leaning forward as he takes a sip of what seems to be bourbon. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s weird; one minute you’re talking it up at the bar, and the next you’re in some guy’s basement who looks like he’s going to kill you. But!” He smiles, holding his finger up, “I am not here to kill you.”

Somehow, this doesn’t settle my anxiety.

”I am only here to lay eyes on you, and give a message. I’ve done one of those things, gladly I might add.” He winks, and I cringe. Fucking creep.

”Message?” I repeat, my voice far more gruff than I anticipated.

James nods, leaning back in his chair. “Josiah needs you home. It’s been long enough, Eden. You know what year it is.”

Unable to contain it, I scoff. Of course it’d be something with this cult. Primo called it, and I’m almost mad that I didn’t listen. I’m more upset that Josiah is having a search party this extensive to look for me.

”Fuck Josiah. You, him, and the rest of that cult can get bent. I left for a reason.”

James shakes his head, standing from the chair slowly. “Listen, do what you want. But I can assure you; you won’t stop fate. It’s just easier to lean into it rather than fight it, Eden.”

”Don’t fucking call me that.”

James lunges towards me, putting himself in the exact position Benjamin had in my memory. My eyes shoot wide open, and my body freezes. James’ hand wraps around my throat, squeezing slightly.

”He told me I could use as much force as I can with you, you know? That’s the beautiful part about you leeches; they can take so much pain.” His words ooze like venom between his teeth, giving me flashbacks to when I was in the cult.

All of a sudden, the door swings open and nearly off its hinges. James’ head shoots towards the direction, his breath catching in his throat. I struggle to peer around him, but feel my heart swell as I finally see who it is.

Perpetua. 

Chapter Text

“Perpetua!”

I screech his name the best I can given James’ hand wrapped tightly around my throat. Perpetua’s eyes are piercing, almost glowing it seems. His teeth are clenched together, and his fists are balled at his sides. James drops his grip quickly, muttering prayers under his breath.

”Keep your fucking hands off her.” Perpetua warns, stomping quickly towards us. His eyes are fixated on James, absolutely seething with rage. To see Perpetua this angry is terrifying, or at least would be if I was on the wrong end.

From where I’m sitting it’s actually…

…No, can’t keep thinking that way.

Perpetua’s hand grips James’ collar, lifting the man to look at him eye to eye. I scoot away, towards the wall, my mouth agape at this scene. It’s almost as if I can feel Perpetua’s rage. It’s infernal, casting an aura of hatred and anger. Wrapping my arms around myself, I can’t help but watch Perpetua’s actions.

“Your prayers fall silent here. You’ve wasted enough oxygen as it is.”

Perpetua launches the man to the opposite side of the room, a teeth clenching sound of bones breaking following. James coughs and groans as he tries to lift himself from the floor. He fails, falling flat on his face as Perpetua stalks towards him. He flexes his hands a few times, the leather of his gloves creaking with each movement. As he stands over James, I begin to hear his breathing grow louder.

”If you are truly this arrogant to believe you can harm someone like her and escape with your life, I’m afraid you’re sorely mistaken. Your God has abandoned you; instead, you confess your sins to me.” Perpetua’s voice comes out shakily, a certain venom to it that I’ve never heard before.

James spits, lifting his head to look up at Perpetua. “Your kind will die in the light, while the righteous rises above your ashes. You were born from nothing, you live as nothing, and you will die as nothing. You and your little who-“

Perpetua kicks the man in the teeth; little effort on his part, though it sends James against the wall once again. I think I even see his teeth fall to the floor in bits.

Perpetua stops, looking down at me. His face softens slightly, blinking a few times before he turns back to James once more. “Phantom! I can’t hold it any longer.”

…Hold what?

Phantom runs into the room, fully clad in uniform including the top hat. He sprints directly to me, lifting me from the ground with ease before I could begin protesting.

”Let me go! Perpetua!” I yell, reaching for him as I’m pulled away.

”Hurry!” Perpetua yells. I hear the sound of bones cracking as I’m swept away, the door shutting as I see what seemed to be a skeletal… wing… protrude from Perpetua’s arms.

”What the fuck?” I mutter under my breath.

Phantom carries me out of the home and to a blacked out vehicle parked on the street. He carefully places me in the front passenger seat before hopping in the driver’s, putting the car in gear before speeding off. I snap my head to look towards the house, watching like I’m going to see Perpetua appear as we drive off.

”Phantom, what the fuck?” I repeat, turning to him as he drives. He groans, shaking his head. My mind is running through a million things at the moment, all stemming from one person who isn’t in this car.

”I know you can fucking hear me, Phantom. Why did we leave him there? What was that? How did you find me?” I start listing the questions in quick succession, feeling my anxiety increase with each word.

My heart is beating out of my chest, and burning. My mind is buzzing at a million miles a minute, and my breathing is becoming rapid. I sit myself back in the seat, feeling my anxiety attack creeping on rather quickly. Wrapping my arms around myself, I squeeze my eyes shut to try and ground myself, though it doesn’t seem to work.

Phantom glances at me in my catatonic state, placing a hand on my knee to try and comfort me. I struggle to keep my breathing steady, my mind racing faster than I can comprehend. I can’t wrap my head around anything. Between the events this morning and now tonight, my mind is struggling to process anything. I fear that I might be losing my grip.

But what about Perpetua? Is he in danger? What did I see back there, exactly? My hyperventilating breaths quicken, any thought of him getting hurt is sending me over the edge.

Phantom gives my knee a squeeze, finally pulling up to the monastery. He looks at me through the holes in his mask, and gives me a small smile. “He will be back, safe. You will be okay.”

I look at the ghoul quizzically. He’s started to speak perfectly to me, yet every other ghoul can only ever speak gibberish to me. It’s confusing, yet not the most confusing part of this day. His reassurance is slowly working, though. My heart begins to steady as I sit staring into his eyes.

”He will explain.” He nods, patting my knee.

”He will have a lot to explain…” I respond, sighing. I rub my face with my hands, groaning into them as the last of my adrenaline leaves my system. I look back to Phantom, giving his hand a squeeze. “Take me to his chambers, please.”

”It’d be best…” Phantom starts, but I soon cut him off.

”Perpetua’s chambers, please.”

Phantom sighs, but shuts the car off. We exit together, the cool winter air hitting my skin instantly. Phantom runs around to my side of the car, holding me by my waist. I smile, shaking my head. “I’m okay, I promise.” He nods, but doesn’t remove his hands as he guides us inside the church.

It was midnight when Phantom and I arrived. It’s been a few hours, but the two of us are still wide awake. He hasn’t said anything more, but has kept near me as we wait. I told him he doesn’t have to, but he insisted. Part of me feels like even if he did exit the room, he wouldn’t leave the doorstep.

The door opens at around three in the morning, causing me to sit up from my position on the couch. I quickly stand to my feet, running to meet Perpetua at the door. He looks at me with surprise as I run to him, launching myself into his arms without a second thought. It takes a moment, but he returns the embrace. I feel his head rest on mine, and his chest rise and fall with a large, deep breath.

We stay like this for a moment, just holding each other. Nothing said, nothing more. I can feel my entire body start to relax like this; nestled in Perpetua’s embrace. All of the safety I feel, stems from right here.

”Lilith, it’s so late.” He finally utters, pulling away from me slightly.

”You have so many fucking questions to answer.” I mumble against his chest, unmoving.

I can hear Perpetua sigh, a silent agreement. “I know, I know. Come,” he pushes me off him slightly, guiding me towards the couch.

Phantom stands off towards his room, his hands folded in front of him. Perpetua glances at him and nods. This action causes Phantom to quickly walk out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him. As Perpetua and I sit, I finally get a good look at him.

He’s covered in blood. I can’t tell where it starts or ends, but it full encapsulates him and his nice suit. I study the stains, noticing the rips in his sleeves. Frowning, I turn up to look at his face. His eyes are watering, the shiny mask over them speckled with blood. Around his mouth, his face paint is smeared. In all honesty, it looks like most of the blood is coming from there.

I reach out to touch his face, but Perpetua stops my hand. “Not right now,” he warns. He blinks a few times, tears falling.

”Perpetua…” I can’t even bring myself to ask anything. All I can think about is what’s causing him to cry.

”You were supposed to stay home tonight, Lilith. You were told about that cult, weren’t you? That they’re looking for you?” His voice is cold, but not entirely blaming.

I swallow hard, nodding. He nods as well, sniffling. “When you weren’t home, I panicked. I didn’t know where you could be if not here. Were it not for Phantom keeping an eye on you, I wouldn’t have been able to find you at all.” He looks into my eyes, searching them for something. “You not being here terrified the Hell out of me.”

My heart breaks at his words. I didn’t expect Perpetua to be this open, or to have that amount of care for me. It’s been a week since we’ve met, and I know how I feel but… hearing things like this from him only makes it harder for me to ignore.

”I’m sorry. I just wanted a night… I didn’t think I was in any real danger…” I try to explain, knowing each attempt falls short.

”He wanted to do things to you before taking you back to them. Vile, disgusting things. Why do you think you were in that room? Did you know he had a camera?”

The words coming from Perpetua hit me like a brick. Maybe I’m not entirely understanding the situation well, possibly due to the desire to dissociate myself from it and that cult entirely. His words fly through one ear and out the other, yet I can’t force myself to grasp them.

I wouldn’t have died, but the way he’s talking makes it seem like I probably would’ve wished I could.

Perpetua reaches into his pocket, opening a gloved hand to show me. A tiny Bluetooth camera, smashed to pieces. His hand shakes, I don’t know whether from anger or despair.

”It wouldn’t be the first time.” I mutter, taking the broken pieces from him and walking over to a trash can. I toss them in, shutting the lid with force. Looking back at Perpetua, my heart falls.

I remember being so broken it killed me inside. It allowed me to shut out every emotion, every feeling of empathy. It’s harder for me now to open up, at least in a way that tells someone I care. Being here has taught me to break the walls down a little, but it’s clear to me now I still have so many built up.

Perpetua makes me realize that this is definitely more serious than I originally perceived. His reactions to these things put it in perspective for me… maybe I’ve been too selfish to close myself off.

I walk back slowly to him, placing a hand in his as I sit back down. Instinctively he holds mine, squeezing tighter than anticipated. He breathes in shakily, letting a sob out finally. Shaking his head, he wipes the tears that have fallen from behind his mask.

”I’m sorry if I scared you, Lilith. I only ever want to protect you. I’m sure you have questions… I know what you heard and what you may have seen.”

I nod slowly, letting him take his time. A few more sniffles, and then he clears his throat. He removes his hand from mine, pulling off his torn gloves and blazer. I see now that even the shirt underneath is torn, in the same exact way.

”You know how I wrote Lachryma?” He asks, looking at me. I nod for him to continue. “Those lyrics… it’s not just a concept. Not just a plot piece for the lore within the Ghost project. It’s a song about me, how I feel. How I’ve felt for the past few years…”

I frown at the man, watching as he stands. Does he mean…

Perpetua, seemingly without any struggle, changes before me. His arms extend out, black wings with bones unfolding from his forearms. His fingers grow longer; skeletal and pointed. The aura from before is back, yet not as scathing. He looks down at his wings and hands, before looking back at me with his glowing eyes.

His mouth is slightly agape, and through it I see long, pointed teeth protruding from where his canines should be. In one swift motion of a clawed hand, he unclasps his mask. Behind the silver cover, I see what he’s been hiding all along.

The veins around his eyes are protruding, pulsing. He has dark circles reminiscent of Copia’s. Above all that, a large scar trails from his hairline to below his white eye.

”Lilith, I’m a vampire.”

Chapter Text

“I’m a vampire.”

The words ring through my ears like a loud bell. They drown out all of the sounds around us, feeling as if time has decided to stand still in their wake. I’m not surprised in the least, to be quite honest. I can say, without a doubt, it makes a lot of fucking sense.

“Lilith?”

Perpetua’s voice is metallic as he speaks, a certain edge to it that I can only describe as eldritch. It’s deeply unsettling, though I can tell that’s not the intention at all. He folds in his wings, holding his arms behind his back as he waits for my reaction.

“Oh.” Is all I can give.

It’s all I can even think of saying given the weight of the night as it’s been.

Perpetua frowns, tilting his head at me. It’s not the reaction he’s expecting, clearly.

I shake my head slowly, standing to walk closer to him. Circling him, I study every inch of him like I did before the sermon. The bones are spines between each section of his wings, like a weird bat’s. Their placement throws me off, but it’s kind of… cool.

Perpetua holds still as I study him, but I can still see his spiky fingers fiddling each other. To be this terrifying, covered in blood, and still nervous, is baffling to me. I should be more nervous and yet… here I am, studying his form inches from his claws.

I walk around to the front of him, my eyes no longer level with his chin in this form. Now, he stands an entire head above me. He doesn’t look much different, but the height as well as an added bulkiness definitely stand out. As such, his shirt now clings to his chest. I slowly look up at his face; bare, completely maskless and partially speckled with blood. The veins around his eyes pulsate quickly, his blood a sickening near black as it pumps through. The dark circles under his eyes are deep, though sunken in. They’re not nearly as prominent as Copia’s, but I know Cardi likes to place makeup over his to add to the look.

Finally, I turn my attention to his scar. Traveling from the opposite side of his face, across and through his white eye, it runs jagged and deep. The wound stops just at the edge of the orbital bone. I wonder to myself how he received such a gnarly gash, but there are much more pressing questions that will put that one towards the end for now.

“You should be scared to be this close, Lilith. Terrified, aghast. Anyone else would-“

“You said you would protect me, didn’t you?” I cut him off, folding my arms across my chest.

Perpetua stammers for a moment, shocked from my answer. “With my life, but…”

“Why would I be afraid of the man who saved my life tonight? I’m not afraid of Terzo, or Sodo. You being a vampire doesn’t change that.” I explain softly, pursing my lips afterwards.

Perpetua sighs, nodding. Slowly, his wings fully retract into his skin, his claws disappearing and turning back into regular fingers. His height and bulk go back to normal as well, and his eyes stop glowing; however, the prominent veins remain. They don’t pulsate the same way, but you can still see each capillary pumping fluid.

The blood that stains his chin is beginning to chip as it dries. As such, when Perpetua rubs his hands over his face, a bit of it comes off on his hands. He groans to himself, muttering something under his breath.

“What questions do you have, Lilith? Please.” Perpetua says softly, stepping closer to me.

I drop my arms to my sides, looking into his eyes for a moment. The same eyes that have saved me, time and time again. Eyes to be trusted, that much I will always be sure of.

“What did you do to him? Entirely?” I ask simply, my voice soft.

I can hear Perpetua’s breath catch in his throat. He most likely expected questions about him as a vampire, but in all honesty I know I’ll have more time to delve into that later. He looks down for a moment before back at me, still holding his hands behind his back.

“After you left I um… interrogated him for a little while. I wanted to know some things before ending his life. I asked him about how he found you, if anyone else was around. I asked what he hoped to accomplish tonight, and that’s where the conversation kind of got cut short…”

I beckon for him to continue. He sighs, but complies.

“He told me about the Grand Ascension, and that you’re needed back at the compound quickly to complete the prophecy. When I tried to press further, he stopped talking. Instead, he began talking about what he wanted to do to you. The vile, disgusting words that came out of his mind…” Perpetua glares at the ground, seething over James’ fantasies. “I ripped his tongue from his throat, before severing his head… and well, had myself a gratuitous meal.”

Brutal.

I’m not at all shocked over Perpetua’s actions, nor am I upset in any way. To be honest, I feel comforted knowing he defended me in the ways he has today. It’s been a week since we’ve met, and he just ended the life of someone who would’ve brought me to my death.

Seems to be on track with some of the Papas here. Always saving someone.

“Okay.” I affirm, preparing myself for the next question. “Is there any chance Josiah knows about tonight?”

Perpetua frowns, his eyes darkening. “Yes.”

“How much?”

“He’s probably noticed his lackey didn’t deliver you by now.”

I nod, understanding. He knows I was captured, but now he’s probably looking at the corpse of a dead cult member. Josiah is probably pissed, knowing his closest effort to bringing me back was so violently torn from him. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get to watch me be tortured anymore.

“Your silence concerns me, Lilith. This is a lot to handle for one day, and now it’s getting into the wee hours of the morning…” Perpetua places his hands on my shoulders, speaking to me in a soft tone. “I think you need rest right now.”

He definitely isn’t wrong.

I nod, rubbing my eye as I look down. Perpetua’s finger hooks under my chin, pulling my gaze up to meet his. “If you want, you can just sleep here tonight. I won’t bother you, you’ll have the room to yourself.”

Spending the night in the new Papa’s chambers would be the gossip highlight of the week; even being offered to do so is the dream of many in this congregation. Though, under these circumstances, it would be considered more tragic. I agree with Perpetua before he takes my hand, leading me to his room slowly. A few candles are lit in here, casting shadows against the wall that dance as we occupy the space. Perpetua pulls the covers back, adjusting the pillows as I wait next to him. Once he’s satisfied, he gestures for me to crawl in.

As soon as my body molds into the mattress, I feel the sheer amount of exhaustion hit me like a train. Perpetua pulls the covers over my shoulders, brushing my hair behind my ear. We look at each other for a moment, before a smile appears on his lips.

There we go, that’s the Perpetua I know.

“Goodnight, Lilith.” He blows out the remaining candles, beginning to shut the door as he exits. I sit up suddenly, catching him off guard. “Is something…”

“Can you leave the door open, please?” I ask softly, clutching the blankets to my chest. “I’m still just… you know.”

Perpetua catches on quickly, nodding his head and adjusting the door to remain partially open. “Of course, of course. There you go.”

“Thank you, Perpetua. Goodnight.” I mutter, falling back to the pillow and feeling slumber quickly overtake me.

“Goodnight, parvulus.”

After what feels like an eternity, I finally awaken. The quality of my slumber was triumphant — like a full reset. For once, I wasn’t pre-occupied by weird dreams, nor did my insomnia wake me up throughout the night. I almost forgot I wasn’t even in my own bed. I’m in…

Oh. That’s right.

I’m in Perpetua’s.

I slowly turn over in the bed, finding it empty and untouched. Looking around, I find the door is still open from my very sleepy request. The sunlight spreads across the walls, illuminating the furniture elegantly. As I sit up, I feel a deep pain in the back of my neck. Groaning, my hand instantly moves to remedy it with soft rubs.

Through the gap of the door, I see Perpetua appear. He’s peeking through, or at least trying to do so unnoticed. Once our eyes connect, he jumps into a more proper posture. He strolls inside, smiling.

As he sits on the edge of the bed, I noticed he’s freshly showered and put back together. His face paint and mask are back in order, and his curly hair is still a little wet. Today, he’s wearing an entirely black outfit with white outlines throughout, creating an interesting design. The sleeves flare out, and he still sports his black gloves. He looks so comfortable.

“How did you sleep, Lilith?” He asks softly, reaching a hand towards me on the bed, though nowhere near mine. 

I smile, pushing my hair out of my face. “I think that was the best sleep I’ve had in years. Thank you for letting me stay.”

“It’s the least I could do after the day you’ve been put through. Though I’m not sure how good it will do considering the time.”

I frown, turning my head to try and locate a clock. Upon not finding anything, I turn back to Perpetua. “What time is it?”

He chuckles. “Three in the afternoon, dear Lilith.”

Satan below, I really did get some rest.

“Well, I’ve successfully wasted a perfectly good Sunday. Now all that’s left is my ever-growing laundry pile.” As I stand from the bed slowly, I look down my clothes, still clad in the skimpy outfit I donned for my night out.

What a waste.

Perpetua chuckles, standing as well and intertwining his fingers together. “I’m sure you’re anxious to get back to your room and settle your affairs. Though, Lilith…”

I frown at him. “Hm?”

“Don’t you need to ask more questions? You know, about… well, the entirety of yesterday.”

I suppose I should. We did only stop because of my clear state of exhaustion.

“Oh, I kind of forgot about…”

“The fact that I’m a vampire who killed someone?” His voice is low, almost embarrassed in its tone.

“I mean, the remainder of my questions are more about as to how Phantom can communicate with me, why he was following me…”

“Really?” He’s surprised, once again. How hasn’t he got that his being a vampire is not the top of my list?

“Really, Perpetua.” I smirk, rolling my eyes.

He drops his hands from their fiddling state, nodding. “You’re a different kind of woman, aren’t you Lilith?” He returns the smirk, walking out of the room and to his living area. I follow, taking a seat on one the couches and grabbing a throw pillow to hold in my lap. He sits next to me, propping a leg up in between us. He’s a lot more relaxed today than I’ve seen all week, a lovely contrast. I’m sure the longer we spend time like this together, he’ll only open up more.

I just hope it’ll be under consistently better circumstances. Maybe even romantically. Maybe.

”So, tell me. What’s so different about Phantom?” I ask again.

Perpetua sighs, pursing his lips together for a moment. “It’s hard to explain. The ghouls know English, entirely. Typically, they only speak to us; the Papas, the clergy. It’s a… bloodline thing. We usually have to ritualize permission for them to speak to anyone outside of our family, but Phantom…” Perpetua chuckles, shaking his head.

I frown. “What?”

”Phantom… he’s drawn to you in a way that surpasses the need for any permission. He feels protective over you, he told me ever since you two joined the church that you fascinate him. The rest of the ghouls are more than happy to gain the permission needed, so long as you agree. I don’t personally understand how he managed to break through that barrier; whether it be the quintessence he inherited from Aether or what.”

My heart twinges at the mention of the former ghoul. I remember the time that I joined the church; Aether had just left, and tensions were extremely high. Not only was Terzo having to deal with taking me in, but his ghoul had just left a few months prior without much warning. I remember him reeling from it from time to time, as was Cardi. It wasn’t until Phantom was summoned that they started to feel better; though the congregation was a different story.

I remember Phantom and I meeting for the first time on accident, he was going over some things with Cardi before his first tour when I had barged in with a stack of books. Not anticipating someone on the other side of the door, I managed to drop every single book as I ran into Phantom. Copia nearly had an aneurysm when it happened… Phantom and I were berated for what felt like ages. It’s almost like a trauma bond.

Ever since, I’ve always seen him more than the other ghouls. At least, that’s how it seems.

”So he was following me when I left?” I ask, frowning at Perpetua. “I thought you were all rehearsing?”

Perpetua chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah well… we spent a few hours doing that, but by the time you were leaving, we had stopped. It was a rather exhausting day for everyone giving the sermon and straight in for rehearsals. I let them go while I tweaked some things with Swiss and Cirrus.”

I nod, understanding better now. “I definitely have to work on sneaking out a bit better, then…” I mutter under my breath.

Perpetua’s eyes darken, and his hand grabs my wrist. “No. No more sneaking out for now. You’re not to leave our sight, not after last night.”

I watch his serious demeanor, his teeth clearly grinding as he speaks. It’s a protectiveness I’ve only ever seen in Terzo, but this has a different implication.

Perpetua might actually care for me more than I realize.

”When you say our…” I trail off, trying to steer my thoughts into a different direction.

As Perpetua was about to answer, a sudden, loud knocking breaks our concentration. Our heads shoot towards the direction, I looking more confused than Perpetua. He turns back to me, giving me a sympathetic expression. “I’m so sorry…”

I try to ask what he means, but Perpetua quickly dashes to the door to unlock and open it. I hear curses in Italian before I see a face; though, I already know who it is.

”You are in big fucking trouble, little one.” The one and only, Terzo, stands before me, seething with rage.

”Terzo, please, she’s…” Perpetua runs after him, trying to calm him down.

Terzo spins around, jabbing his finger into Perpetua’s chest. “Don’t you fucking dare say anything to me right now. I trusted you with her.”

”He didn’t have anything to do with me leaving, Terzo.” I stand, crossing my arms and walking up to him. I look up at him with a frown, ready to argue more than he realizes.

Terzo looks back at me, conflicted. He knows I’m right, that Perpetua has no reason to be blamed. Terzo just wants any reason to push the blame anywhere but onto me, I assume. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “None of this would’ve ever happened if-“

”Enough! I’m tired, Terzo. I’m tired of you telling me stay cautious. I’m tired of you telling me to be careful around Perpetua. I’m tired of stepping on fucking eggshells for the past week all the while trying to adjust to a new job, meeting a new Papa, and now being part of the Ghost project.” I explode, breathing heavily as I pause.

Terzo and Perpetua stare at me silently. I look between them both, dropping my hands and sighing. “I’m not a fucking kid, and you know this. I am responsible for my own actions. I know what I did was stupid and reckless, but sometimes I just need a fucking break. I know not to do it again. But Perpetua was there to get me, he did his job. Definitely a lot more than what he probably signed up for.”

”You’ve been avoiding me the past few days, forgive me if I’m a bit worried.” Terzo says softly.

I sigh. “I know… that’s my own fault too. And from my own problems. But that’s not something to talk about here.” I look away, trying to will those sexual memories that still sit fresh my in my mind away. I shake my head. “Regardless, don’t blame Perpetua. He’s fine, he’s… he’s protected me more than enough.”

Terzo shakes his head, turning back to face Perpetua. “I’m sorry, V.” Perpetua shakes his head, telling him it’s no issue. He slinks back towards a bookshelf, keeping himself away from Terzo and I.

Terzo walks up to me, studying my outfit and my face. He sighs, shaking his head. “You need a bath.”

I roll my eyes, pushing past him and towards the door. “I’ll check in with you later, Perpetua.” I say, making eye contact with him before slipping out the door. Terzo follows quickly behind me, shutting the door before I feel his arm around my waist. “What are you…”

”Secret passages, little one. Too many people to witness you doing a walk of shame right now.”

What an annoying dynamic.

Chapter Text

The past week has been entirely uneventful, which is a breath of fresh air compared to the week before.

Perpetua and I have managed to move forward without a hitch. This entire week, he’s been pulled into meeting after meeting. It’s forced him to start his days earlier, but seems to be doing just fine adjusting. Nihil is loading a ton of work on the guy, after having spent his entire first week on the album. He justifies it as the greater evil; getting to know the ins and outs of the church, the current affairs and outstanding issues, and projects they have in the works on the side. Clearly, community outreach isn’t a problem. However, it’s the rise in protests that seem to begin a whole new issue. Between all of this, somehow this man is also expected to prepare for the tour.

I’ve been occupying my time organizing the ever-growing pile of paperwork and completing whatever I can. In between that, I’ve been touching up on my Latin and forcing myself into translating certain works that’ll eventually end up on Copia’s desk. Knowing the Frater Imperator himself, the man whose first language seems to be Latin, will eventually review it is just enough anxiety to fuel me.

Terzo has seemingly calmed down from his consistent state of patronizing surveillance. I’m actually able to get through a day without him showing up from the shadows or barging into my room. I ended up talking to him about my dream; and I’ve never heard that man laugh so hard. He couldn’t get over the fact that I, once again, became twitterpated over a steamy sexual encounter. I told him he’s desensitized.

He didn’t enjoy that comment. But, he ceased any teasing.

Perpetua has seemed to completely relax around me as well. Ever since he told me about himself; the vampire of it all, I’ve seen a weight be lifted from his psyche. He sings a lot more as we work, humming or tapping constantly. When he’s busy reading, he drums his fingers to the rhythm of Satanized. Sometimes, when he’s looking for something, I can hear him sing to himself. When he finds answers to things, he gets animated and excited to tell me. Though he still consistently wears his mask, I can always tell his expressions are genuine.

I enjoy spending my time with him. He’s a trove of knowledge that’s easy to listen to. Perpetua may not have been as involved through his life with the church as Cardi has, but you can definitely tell he was still raised within the family. I could listen for hours while he tells me about the history of our church, or the ideologies we follow. Honestly, at this point, Perpetua could tell me solely about why they chose one type of stone over another in the walls and I’d hang onto every word.

After deciding to lean into my feelings, and the tumultuous weekend we had, I’ve been catching myself lingering longer and longer each day with him in his office. We’ll find any reason to keep the day going. Whether it be getting ahead on the next day’s work, or jabbering about our lives prior to now, we’ll take it. A part of me feels bad for dragging on the days, but when he initiates it, I almost feel like he may feel somewhat similar.

A girl can only hope.

Today is Friday, marking one week closer to the tour. A lot of today was filled with Perpetua looking over Papa Secondo’s sermon for tomorrow, critiquing and fact checking any references. He got a text around noon to head to the studio for something important; a place he hasn’t seen since the final recordings on Monday. He’s been gone for the past four hours since, so I began organizing next week’s work by priority. Looking through things, I found the tour schedule. And… oh boy.

I should probably ask more questions when it’s going to affect me as heavily as this is.

It’s not even starting in the states. No, no no. Not only am I going to visit 23 states this year; I’m going to visit 16 countries. I don’t even own a fucking passport, let alone the mental capacity to even fathom this. We will be on the road for nearly the entire year, and all of it away from the only place I’ve known my entire near thirty years of life. I shoved the schedule away from me when I read it; out of sight, out of mind. A terrible way to deal with it, but it’s sufficient enough. Change terrifies me to my core.

It’s getting closer to six now, and I’m starting to become hungry. One thing about working with a vampire, is they don’t eat. Clearly. Perpetua explains to me that he can eat food, and somewhat enjoy it, it’s just not in any way nutritious. Completely understandable. Though, I almost feel like abandoning the day and grabbing dinner before the dining hall shuts down.

Feeling defeated over the fact that I won’t see him again, I bundle up the pile of papers I was working through. As I look around the office one last time for the evening, I begin to walk towards the door. Just as I open it, I find Perpetua standing on the opposite side; fumbling with his keys. He looks up at me surprised; and me to him, as he’s holding a takeout container in one hand.

”Lilith! You weren’t leaving were you?” Perpetua asks, his voice a much higher pitch than normal.

I stifle a giggle, dropping my hand from the door. “I was, actually. A bit peckish,” I pat my stomach, giving him a small smile.

”I figured as much. I was trying to hurry back as soon as I could. So, I got you this.” He holds the container out to me, slightly shaking. I frown slightly, but take the dish from him. Perpetua gives me his best smile, holding his hands behind his back. “Will you stay? I have something to show you, I mean, if you’re willing.”

Willing? The comment alone has me interested, but the food and the fact that I’ll be able to spend more time with Perpetua solidify my decision. I smile, walking backwards back inside the office. “Fine, you convinced me.”

Perpetua nods, eagerly following me in. The two of us meander over to the sitting area, taking a seat on the same couch. He scoots close to me, though not touching. After shedding his black gloves, he pulls his phone from his pocket. He turns to me, a massive grin plastered across his face. “Okay, so first thing,” he points to the container in my hand, “that’s spaghetti. I remember you mentioning it as your comfort meal, and after the weeks we’ve had… The Sisters in the kitchen were more than happy to provide.”

I can’t believe he remembered such an offhand comment like that. We had been wrapping up after a long workday earlier in the week, and I had mentioned that the dinner served in the dining hall was one of my favorite meals. I barely even remember the conversation, but it’s sweet to know he mentally catalogued such information.

I smile as I look at the container, tearing it open to smell the fresh, still warm dish. Perpetua hands me a plastic fork wrapped in plastic from his pocket, clearly having thought of everything. As I dive into the food without another thought, he taps his phone nervously.

”So, the other thing,” he begins, holding his phone still now. “We finished the album. Everything’s ready for release, just have the few finishing touches for album art, all that stuff.”

Well, that was rather fast. It’s not slated for release until the end of the month.

Perpetua looks at me, watching me devour my food as I listen to him. He smirks. “Would you like to hear it?”

I stop for a moment, my eyebrows shooting up. I have been so adamant about not being around the rehearsals and recording, I’m surprised he’d still ask. A part of me really wants to keep the mystery for the first ritual, but considering it’s a private experience, along with my favorite meal…

”I would love to.” I respond, smiling back at Perpetua.

His face lights up. Perpetua begins to work on his phone, finding the songs and getting his speaker ready to play. I’m about halfway done with my meal at this point, having scarfed it down faster than I realized. Perpetua gives me a look as he presses play, locking his phone and setting it on the table. He leans back, arms spread over the couch and legs crossed. Before I know it, I hear my voice over the speakers.

“Track one, Peacefield.” He states.

It still gives me chills to hear the mastered and final version. It makes me feel like a real musician having contributed that much to this album. It’s not everyday that a Sister of Sin is offered such an opportunity, let alone someone low on the totem pole like me. Though Terzo has been notoriously suspicious of Perpetua even before his arrival, he really did something to suggest my addition to the song. I smile as the song finishes out, the choir repeating “Peacefield” until the final note. There’s a pause, and Perpetua eyes me closely.

”Track two, Lachryma.”

“The vampire song?” I whisper

Perpetua smiles, and nods. The song begins, sounding magical; like a dreamy lullaby. Once the guitar cuts in, my eyes grow wide and I stare at the man responsible. He gives me a giddy smile, bobbing his head to the rhythm. I don’t know how these men do it… their imaginations are iconic.

Lachryma means tears in Latin, I remember. As we listen to the song, it appears to be more of a ‘rise above the heartbreak’ kind of anthem. He had said that it’s about him; as a vampire, mainly. It almost makes me feel like his heart was broken along with his transition. In my heart I dread to think of someone hurting Perpetua like that.

I listen to the upbeat rhythm, the song captivating me with both his lyrics and the instruments. It’s so incredibly put together, a song that anyone can get into. It’s almost perfect; it’s enticing people before they even realize the message and meanings behind it. Before they know who’s performing it. Before they even know who we worship.

It first started with Terzo; the idea that a song can weasel its way into the hearts of the pious without them even realizing their secular roots. Terzo, the wordsmith he is, managed to win awards and broaden the church’s outreach. Copia at first didn’t care too much about that sort of thing, but once he began his music the seeds were sown. It’s hard to not get into a dance-y, upbeat rhythm like Dance Macabre, or a ballad such as Cirice. Even the covers these men release are hard to ignore. Perpetua has the making in his songs to follow the same path, and it’s exciting to watch. To manipulate the masses is a skill only a true cult leader can hold.

Thankfully, this one has good intentions.

As the songs go on, Perpetua and I gradually gravitate to each other. He becomes more animated, dancing and singing along to his own music. It’s comforting and exciting to watch him like this. He’s so into it, embodying happiness in his creations. He pulls me along with his movements, forcing me to enjoy them, though it’s not unwanted. We giggle, we laugh. 

As a song he states is called Cenotaph begins, Perpetua moves closer to me. He looks into my eyes as he sings; the upbeat rhythm surrounding us, but the lyrics tugging at my heart more than I expect. I smile as we gaze into each other, a blush spreading over my cheeks. He reaches to tuck my hair behind my ear, his hand resting there as he leans forward with each word.

”…Wherever I go, you’re always there… riding next to me,” he sings, his face mere inches from mine.

He pauses as the song continues on, looking between my lips and my eyes. I do the same, parting my lips slowly. The heat from his breath softly hits my face, the proximity coming even closer. Without any further delay, Perpetua finally closes the gap… pressing his lips against mine.

Oh, finally.

Chapter Text

The kiss feels like it lasts for an eternity. My heart beats right out of my chest, my face is boiling hot, and my mind races at a million miles a minute. I don’t know what to do with my hands, I can barely remember to breathe in this state. Perpetua cups his hands around my face, prolonging the moment even further. The only thing I can confidently do, is move my lips with his.

Oh, finally.

He slowly breaks away first, pressing his forehead against mine. Cenotaph finishes as we silently breathe together, just staying exactly like this. I feel Perpetua’s thumbs rub my cheeks softly, and hear a small chuckle. I open my eyes to see him looking into mine already.

”I cannot tell you how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he admits softly.

I let out a nervous chuckle, nodding against his forehead. “I completely agree.” I whisper.

Perpetua presses his lips against mine once more, giving me a deeper, more desperate kiss than before. My hands move to grip his shirt, providing me a way to ground myself in the moment. As his lips part to open wider, I can feel his soft tongue tease my bottom lip; to which I respond with my own. Our tongues dance together in meeting, our breaths mingling eagerly. As our embrace deepens, I can feel his arms start to wrap around me, pulling me even closer. One hand tangles in my hair whilst the other moves to my lower back. He pulls me softly, almost an invitation rather than a command. My mind catches up to his motions, never breaking the kiss as I move to straddle his lap.

Perpetua hums against my lips as I settle on top of him. His arm around my back tightens, and he rubs softly as we continue. I feel him slightly pull back to nip at my lower lip, eliciting a soft gasp from me. I open my eyes slightly to see his grin, his eyes meeting mine. I can’t help but mirror his smile; my heart is swollen, my thoughts are becoming more clear. This is what I’ve desired far longer than I originally would admit.

And, for some reason, he seems to want it too.

It’s like something clicks in him, a sudden realization. Perpetua’s lips return to mine desperately. The pace between kisses increases, and his hands tighten around me more. His hand around my back now cups my ass, motioning for me to move against his lap. I take the hint; grinding myself against him softly as our lips and tongue tangle in each other. A soft moan from him is swallowed by me, sending shivers down my spine. My heart is beating wildly in my chest; nothing about this is calm, nothing is like the experiences I’ve had before. Not even with Terzo did I feel this sort of fervor for more.

Perpetua breaks the kiss momentarily to remove his mask, exposing his veiny under eyes pulsating with what I can assume is lust. He looks at me for a moment, almost nervous as to how I’ll react. I smile at him, pressing my lips to his again as my grinding against him continues. He takes the cue; I feel him pull me with him to where he’s lying on top of me. His lips begin to trail down my jawline, a sweet line from my lips down my neck where he pauses again on my collarbone. I feel his fingers push up my sides, pulling my shirt along with them. I lift up to shed the layer, exposing my arms for the first time in his eyes.

He looks at the marks, the scars, the map across my skin that I’ve kept hidden for so long. As his fingers trail between each symbol, I pull his attention back to my eyes. I shake my head. “Later.” I warn. He takes the request, returning his lips to mine as he works to undo his button down shirt. He pulls it off, exposing his torso to me for the first time. As it turns out, I am not the only one with scars to hide.

His chest is riddled with them. They remind me of my own; marks from whips, lacerations from knives, bite marks as well. As he straightens out before me he sighs. “You’re not the only one with a past, my darling.”

His darling.

My heart breaks to think of the pain he’s felt, the past he’s lived. What has he lived through to get here? Who could have hurt him so deeply to create these scars? It’s in this moment that I realize I have so much more to learn about this individual, though I’m not apprehensive to it. If he’s willing to listen to my story, I’ll be more than obligated to listen to his. To feel his pain and trauma from here on out.

I reach up, dragging my fingers along his chest until they reach his neck. I pull him by his head to meet my lips; another kiss to distract from our collective past. He looks deep into my eyes as I pull away, worry evident on his face. “The past remains, but at least we’re here, right now.” I say softly, my lips brushing against his as I speak.

He smiles, crashing his lips again on mine. We hungrily continue the previous pace, clothes flying off faster now. His breath becomes more ragged, the arrousal clearly increasing within him. I glance down to see his massive bulge protruding in his underwear, a sight that steals my breath from me and causes my face to grow red. I can hear him chuckle above me. “Not expecting?” He asks. I shake my head.

”I’m not entirely sure what I expected when it comes to you.”

Definitely not this rich of an endowment.

Perpetua hooks his fingers into the strap of my underwear, slowly pulling them down as he exposes me. An audible moan escapes his lips as he lays eyes on my soaked center, and I can feel my clit throbbing for some sort of attention. He mutters something under his breath as he leans down, placing kisses along my stomach. His hands push my legs apart, giving him wider access to me. I watch closely, my breath increasing as he kisses each thigh. Perpetua’s eyes meet mine, a devilish smile on his lips.

”You are so beautiful, little one.”

As I’m about to protest the nickname, his tongue reaches for my clit. I’m cut off by my own moans, escaping my lips sharply as he circles around my throbbing bud. My hand shoots out to grip the back of his head, tangling in his hair. I feel his hum of approval against my skin, the vibrations causing goosebumps to erupt all over my body. My mind goes blank, all I can think of is how incredibly skilled Perpetua’s tongue is.

He swirls his tongue up and down, lapping up my wetness as it comes. As my back arches and my hips buck to his rhythm, I feel his nails dig into my skin. I moan out a strained ‘fuck’ as he begins to suck on my swollen bud. I can’t help but writhe and wriggle under him, causing him to hold me down harder and to keep my legs from closing. Damn, these involuntary movements.

Perpetua’s tongue transitions to my hole, licking in and up as far as he can. This feeling alone begins to send me over the edge, and my other hand reaches to grip his hair as well. I moan excessively, loudly during this. All I can muster as I’m approaching my climax is a whimpering. “Perpetua… I’m close…”

He doubles down on his efforts, his tongue increasing in speed as he switches between fucking me and sucking on my clit. It isn’t long before my release crashes over me. I yell nearly at the top of my lungs his name, again and again as I fully grind against his lips. He hums enthusiastically to continue my high, never stopping; not even for a second. As my movements begin to die down, my orgasm finally leveling out, he laps up the remains of my release before popping his lips off my core. A shudder runs through me as he slowly rises; whatever remains of his face paint is now smudged effectively, but he grins nonetheless.

Holy fuck.

Perpetua laughs at my surprised expression; my flushed face, my haggard breaths. He smooths his hair back as he sits back on his haunches. “Was it okay?” He asks.

I scoff, smiling and shaking my head. “I think you know the answer to that as well as I do.”

Perpetua laughs again, leaning down to capture my lips with his. “Just needed to hear it, Lilith.”

”Well, if this is to continue…” I eye him cautiously. He nods, smiling. “You’ll hear it all of the time.”

And probably more than he ever could anticipate.

My eyes drift down to his crotch, a tent formed in his underwear with a small wet spot at the tip. I smirk, moving to crawl towards him. His eyebrow rises as he watches me, and he licks his lips. My fingers reach for his waistband, efficiently pulling his remaining layer down to his ankles. He kicks them off rather quickly, pulling me back to him to press our lips together again. Tasting my orgasm on his tongue, I moan as I move to hover over his throbbing cock. Perpetua’s hands grab my waist, holding me tightly as my right hand finds the base of his cock to line it up with my center.

”So full of sin, miss Lilith,” Perpetua breathes, his hips twitching as I rub his tip against my entrance.

”What else do you expect from a heretic?” I smirk, finally sitting myself down on him.

The movement elicits a loud fuck! from the two of us, our faces contorting from the pleasure. I begin to grind slowly along his length, feeling every single inch become enveloped in my wetness. Perpetua’s hands tighten on my hips, his fingers digging into my skin and causing bruises. His head falls back, moans escaping his lips with each rise and fall. I take my time; slowly coming up to where his cock almost exits, then back down to the base where I can him against my g spot. The pace is maddening, but I enjoy it. He seemingly seems to as well.

Perpetua’s hips move to my agonizingly slow rhythm, every time I reach the bottom he creates a harder connect. My name escapes his lips again, begging for the pace to increase. I smile lustfully into his eyes, pressing my lips against him as I quicken my movements.

It gives Perpetua all of the permission to take control. With his hands, he moves me harder and faster against him. I place my hands on his shoulders to keep my balance, staring deep into his eyes as he thrusts into me. His gaze drifts from mine to my chest; still bound by my bra. With one quick motion, he unclips it and my breasts fall free from their cage. As I toss the garment away, his hands find my hardened peaks and begins kneading them gently; a stark contrast to the level of fucking we’re doing.

I slow the rhythm as he leans forward to capture one of my nipples in his mouth, moaning against my skin. I can feel myself clenching against his cock at the action; making him moan louder. His mouth switches to my other breast, licking and sucking with a pop. Perpetua increases his thrusts again, chasing a high I’m sure is coming quickly.

”Oh fuck, Lilith. I’m going to come!” He exclaims, pressing his forehead against mine.

”Please, Perpetua.” I beg softly. His eyes meet mine, and a hand reaches down to my clit to begin rubbing in tight circles. “Oh fuck!” I exclaim.

He continues to stimulate me as his thrusts become more erratic underneath me. It isn’t long before I can feel this throbbing of his member increasing, until he slams into me one last time. My own orgasm release as his does, my body trembling as we continue to ride through it together. Our rhythm slows to a halt, our lips connecting in a comforting, loving make out. My heart feels like it’s going to explode right out of my chest, and I can barely steady my breath. It takes me breaking my lips from his to begin to catch it again.

Perpetua and I look into each other’s eyes for a moment, smiling and laughing at the same time. He pushes my hair behind my ear, kissing me once more before resting his forehead against mine again.

”You’re incredible, dear Lilith.” He says softly, pressing another kiss to my nose.

I giggle in response, gazing into his eyes. “As are you, Perpetua.”

Lucifer below, out of all of the things to happen today… this wasn’t on the list.

But I know damn well it will be happening again.

Chapter Text

After a few more rounds, Perpetua and I lie on the office couch drenched in sweat. My legs are draped over his lap, and he’s spread wide open as his breathing begins to settle. I look to him lovingly, studying his face and his scars.

This poor man who has lived through just as much trauma as I probably have.

Perpetua looks over at me, a smile plastered on his face. “You look tired, dear Lilith.” His voice is gruff.

I chuckle, sitting up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Content, really.”

“Is that so?” He asks, reaching to cup my cheeks with his hands. He pulls me towards his lips, connecting them in sweet embrace.

”Entirely,” I whisper against his lips. A chuckle escapes him, and he presses another chaste kiss before leaning back.

”I’m glad I could be the person to provide you such a feeling.”

He doesn’t know how much I feel the same way.

My entire life was consumed by the cult I was born into. Any ideas or thoughts of stepping outside of my duties, even for something as simple as love, were met with harsh punishments. I have gotten close with others in my life, sure. But the gravity of my situation was too great for me to allow myself to fall for anyone. Falling in love with someone meant I had to think about how they felt, hide a lot of secrets about my day to day, and have to deal with their feelings when I came home battered and bloodied.

In Benjamin’s eyes, it was sparing the poor soul a life of torment watching me fulfill my duties. Amazing how he could see it that way, but continued the torture anyhow.

Coming here, to the ministry, allowed me the freedom to explore love and sexuality for the first time in over 20 years of life. Though, it turns out one aspect is a lot easier than the other. Fucking someone, losing my virginity, was far simpler of a task than finding someone to share my time with. Not to mention, I’ve always been an outcast here. Nobody wanted to get to know me apart from Terzo. And falling for Terzo would’ve been detrimental to my sanity.

Perpetua is the first person I’ve allowed myself to be consumed by. I’m not sure what it is — the fact that he’s new, or unknown, or maybe it’s how easy he is to talk to? Maybe it was the dreams that influenced my decisions? Or even, the fact that I’m tasked with spending entire days with him and becoming his right hand; forcing a companionship no matter how one feels about it.

Perpetua is a vampire. Though for how long, I wouldn’t know. He clearly isn’t hundreds of years old; look at Copia. They’re twins. I can only assume that Perpetua could’ve been turned within the past few years. In a sense, it could explain why he needed to take more time before becoming anointed. Being raised away from the monastery, knowing the religion though not the clergy, gave him just enough foresight to do whatever he needed to before joining.

With this new milestone in our relationship, I’m sure I’ll get to know him even further. And probably, a lot quicker. We talked a lot to begin with, but it was always slightly held back. Maybe a personal feeling or two about whatever the subject was. Now, it’s just a matter of how to bring things up. I’ll always overthink every single thing that’s said; so bringing up questions about a troubled past is not within my ballpark. Perpetua, though, has more confidence in asking probing questions.

The man himself has been fiddling with my legs in his lap, tracing invisible patterns along my skin. We’re both back to natural states of relaxed. My stomach erupts in butterflies as I remind myself of the past couple of hours, the yearning finally coming to a rest. As I watch him intently, I sigh, smiling to myself. His attention darts to my face, a small smile mirroring mine.

”What is on your mind this evening my darling?” He asks softly.

I shrug, reaching out to take his hand. “You need to wash your face, partially.” I respond, jokingly.

Perpetua laughs, shaking his head. He squeezes my hand, moving my legs off his lap before he stands. “I think we both could use a good wash, if I’m being honest.”

I mean, he isn’t wrong. Judging by the small amount of paint left on his face, I would assume the majority of it is on me.

I look around for the clock to see it’s just past 10, which means the halls should be entirely empty. Perpetua stands, gathering his clothes and lazily putting them on. He looks at me, then the clock. “Which is closer?”

I frown, leaning to grab my underwear. “What do you mean?”

Perpetua shrugs, buttoning his shirt back up. “Is your room closer to here than mine?”

I blink at him a few times, completely caught off guard by the simple question. “Well, mine is, but…”

He meanders to me, cupping my face in his hands and pressing a kiss to my lips. “Then let’s go take a shower in your room, dear Lilith. I do not mind.”

His kiss causes my face to blush, and the butterflies to return to my stomach. I smile softly, nodding as I pull my shirt over my head. “As long as you don’t mind lavender soap, then I have no objections.”

”Sounds good to me, my darling.”

The two of us begin to exit out of his office slowly, shutting the door quietly and locking it up for the night. I look around to my left first, seeing nothing and no one. But as I look to my right, I jump and grip Perpetua’s arm as I’m faced with someone I wouldn’t expect seeing.

Copia.

His actions mirror mine, startled as Perpetua and I stand in front of him. Perpetua places a protective hand on my shoulder, standing closer to me. “Ah, good evening brother.”

Copia looks between the two of us, utterly confused. His frown grows deeper as he notices the lack of makeup on Perpetua’s face, and probably my disheveled hair. It takes him a moment, but I notice it finally clicks in his head.

”Perpetua, Sister Lilith… You two seem to be working rather later than usual.” He strains, flexing his hands nervously.

”Yes well…” Perpetua looks down at me, trying to hide a smile. I shake my head. I’m not trying to talk my way out of this even if my life depends on it. He clears his throat, turning his attention back to his brother. “We were just having a full listen through of the new album.”

”Ah, the new album… Right.” Copia quips. “Well then, I’ll be seeing you two.” He walks off quickly, muttering to himself.

I have a feeling this won’t be the last I hear of this anytime soon.

We wait until Copia is out of sight, then Perpetua gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Let’s go before any of my other family members catch us this night,” he whispers to me softly. I nod, taking his hand in mine and scurrying towards my room.

The rest of the night was spent productively. We managed to clean each other off with minimal distractions, and then crawled into my bed for warmth and comfort. Currently, Perpetua has me wrapped in his arms, rubbing small circles into my back. The darkness surrounds us, and moonlight filters through the windows.

I move my head off his chest to look up at him, seeing his eyes are shut. They open slowly, then meet mine. A smile spreads over his lips. “What’s on your mind, Lilith?”

I look at him for a moment, pursing my lips together. “Do you… actually sleep? Like you need it?” It’s a stupid question, but the only one I can confidently ask.

A chuckle escapes Perpetua’s lips as he pulls me closer, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “Yes, I need sleep the same way you do. I sleep, I can eat if I want to; though it’s not required. I’m not entirely unlike regular humans.”

“I see…” I mutter, resting my head back on his chest. Perpetua’s hand moves to stroke my hair softly as we lay in the silence once more.

“Dear Lilith…?” He asks softly.

”Hmm?”

”I know you have more questions. Why don’t you ask?” His voice is timid, yet comforting. “Or are you too tired?”

He’s beginning to know me better than myself. I could just let it be, drift off to sleep. But the queries will still remain and will nag at me until I can finally muster the ability to ask them.

”Well… they’re probably similar to what you’d ask me.” I sit up slowly, looking down at him through the dim light of the moon. I drag my fingertip lightly across his chest, marking some of the scars. “These, how did you get them?”

Perpetua nods, sitting up and taking my hand softly in his. He brings my fingers to his lips to place a chaste kiss before replacing it back on his chest. I can feel my face heat up at the gesture — something I’m sure won’t ever go away.

He breathes a deep sigh, patting my hand. “I didn’t grow up in a cult like you did. I mean, I guess to some people this probably is,” he chuckles lightly. “The Psaltarians, my parents — who we recently found out are actually my aunt and uncle, had Copia and I for the first few years after our birth. Something happened during those first few years that led to me growing up in foster care. It was… rough, to say the least. A few of these scars are from that time. When I aged out of the system, I was left alone… then I met someone who changed everything.”

My heart pains to think of his past, how he was forced to live in such circumstances. But I nod along, anxious to listen further.

Perpetua begins to fiddle with the sheets, looking away from me. “I drifted through different groups of ne’er-do-wells, my eyes typically keeping certain types of people scared of me. It wasn’t until I was around 30 when I met her. I thought she was the most beautiful person I ever laid my eyes on. Smart, secular, hilarious. Knowledgeable. Older. It was a dangerous combination, and she knew it before I did.

”We did a lot together for a few years. Robbing, playing music, drifting from city to city and state to state. I did everything I could to stay away from the Church as I was doing this — I didn’t forget where I came from, but damn did I try. I watched from the background as my brother rose to his status, exactly as he was supposed to. I thought I was able to stay away just fine until Sister Imperator sent me a message two years ago; something about bigger plans for Copia and how I fit into them. Advice on how no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hide. It pissed me off. The woman, her name was Genesis, told me there was one way I could stay hidden forever. I just didn’t know the price.”

I frown at this, placing my hand over his. “What do you mean?”

”You have to be dying to become a vampire. But not only that, you have to prove to the Dark Lord that you deserve the second life. It’s not like the movies, unfortunately. Through a life of devotion, darkness, and pain that transcends this plane of existence, one will rise again. It’s a selfish desire to become a vampire, no matter how one looks at it. So, you must prove yourself to Him that you deserve the gift.”

My mind races at the idea of petitioning the Devil Himself for the right to become a vampire. I mean, it makes sense. But I had always thought is such things did exist, it would be just as easy as it’s portrayed in cinema, or books. How would that even work?

Perpetua squeezes my hand in his. “It’s not as grueling as it sounds. In all honesty, I was an easier candidate than most due to birthright. Turns out the bloodline is held in high regards down below, which I’m sure to you only makes sense. To me, I had been so far removed from my family that the thought hadn’t even occurred to me. Though, to the partner that helped me, it was at the forefront of her mind.” His voice grows darker, more malicious.

”Genesis was selfish in her intentions,” he continues. “She wanted power from me, not to help me. Not to love me. She wanted brownie points for delivering one of the Emeritus line. And yet, even knowing more about me than I did at the time, I still had to suffer through the trial. That’s where most of these scars are from. I was tortured into the brink of death; slowly, agonizingly. It was sadistic, disgusting. Once I woke up with the fever that sets in after a successful transition, she was gone. Never saw or heard from her again. No notes, no calls… she got her ticket to Hell that she originally sought me out for. Her intentions are lost to me, but I didn’t exactly have the time nor the bandwidth to dwell on it.”

I look at him as he trails off. His face shows pain for a love that was lost, anger and melancholy over being used for someone else’s benefit. It’s a story similar to mine, though with completely different outcomes.

”We’re not that different, you and I, are we?” I ask softly, rubbing my thumb over his hand. “Both utilized as pawns for someone’s obsession over a higher power.”

Perpetua’s eyes meet mine in desperation, the understanding clicking. He gives me a soft nod, leaning in to press his lips against mine. “Though we are not at their mercy anymore.”

We sit in silence for a moment before Perpetua slides back down in the bed, pulling me closer. He begins caressing my hair again.

”I know this is a lot to take in, dear Lilith. I don’t expect anything from you, though. If it’s too much, if I’m too much, I won’t hold you back. Ever since we met, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

I plant a kiss on his chest, looking back up to his eyes. “You’re not scaring me away yet, Perpetua.”

He smiles softly, nodding before closing his eyes. “Hoc est totum quod sperare possum.”

This is all that I hope for.

Chapter Text

After Perpetua and I woke up, he begrudgingly made his way back to his chambers. As much as I don’t want to leave his side right now, I decided to stay back and instead come up with a packing list for the tour. With one week left, it’s going to get rather hectic and busy between his rehearsals, clergy matters, and Lucifer only knows what else may come up in between.

I ordered a large, protective suitcase to bring with me. In my entire time here, I’ve never had the reason to buy one. Over time I’ve amassed my own clothing, decorations, and other odds and ends; but never anything for traveling. Why would I need to travel at all? My past few years here have been busy attending to every single member of this clergy.

I decide to order a few toiletries; new shampoo and conditioner, miscellaneous hair products, extras of some of my makeup supplies that could definitely use some replacing. As I’m looking through, I manage to find some skeletal accessories that would compliment the stage outfit just nicely. Once I’m satisfied, I order it to be delivered by Wednesday.

Lying back on my bed, I stare at the ceiling. Perpetua’s story from last night is still reeling in my head. It seems to have been a very cut down version of the full story, but even the small amount he shared sounds like a grueling life. I know what he shared was supposed to help answer a few questions, but now I have so many more.

Unfortunately, now knowing how heavy and deep of a life he’s lived, I fear to ask him anything further if he isn’t willing to start the conversation himself. Not to mention, this is last week I should even think about bringing up old wounds. This tour should be at the forefront of his mind, and I should be more focused on making it a breeze. As far as I can tell, I should have plenty of time to get to know his situation further.

A knock on my door breaks me away from my thoughts. Sitting up, I frown as I call out to the person on the other side. “Who is it?”

”It’s uh, me Sister. Copia.” I can tell from the nervous stammer alone.

Great.

”Uhh, right. Just a second,” I stand from my bed quickly and grab my black cardigan, hiding my tattoos before I shuffle over to the door. Opening the door, I see the Frater Imperator on the other side, wringing his hands together.

He’s dressed casually for once — a dark red sweatsuit, his hair combed neatly. He still sports his black leather gloves, and his makeup is meticulously emphasizing his dark circles as usual, and his upper lip painted black. I frown, tilting my head at his appearance. “Casual… Sunday?”

Copia looks at me unamused, gesturing towards the inside of my room. “May I come in, please?”

I stand out of the way, allowing him to enter. “Close the door, please Sister.” I comply with the request before turning back to him, pulling my cardigan tightly around me. Copia looks around my room curiously, his eyes mainly fixated on my bookshelf. It’s now that I notice he has a friend accompanying him — a little tan rat perched on his shoulder. It looks to me curiously, standing on its hind legs to sniff in my direction. I recognize this one more than any of the other rats that tend to follow the man. From what I remember, this one’s name is Dez.

“What seems to be the issue, your eminence?” I call out, breaking Copia from his concentration. He jumps slightly, his attention turning to me with a surprised expression.

”Apologies, Sister. I was just curious as to what you’ve been reading…” he shakes his head. “I came to discuss something regarding my brother with you. After last night, I feel it’s only fitting to do so now.” He crosses his arms, his unassuming expression not hinting towards anything.

”Of course. What is it?” I tug at the edge of my cardigan, using it as a fidget device as we speak.

Copia motions to me before he finds a seat at my desk, Dez dropping from his shoulder to nestle on top of my planner. She curls up instantly, though keeps her head facing towards Copia and I. I walk over to the edge of my bed and sit there, folding my hands in my lap. Copia looks at me for a long moment, seemingly trying to figure out a train of thought to convey whatever it is that’s on his mind. When he gets like this, I tend to become nervous. I can never tell what cogs are spinning in his mind, and I think he uses that to his advantage sometimes.

”Do you remember the night not too long ago when you came to me? Asking about your dreams?”

I nod, remembering how Copia told me the last thing any of the bloodline could do was enter dreams at will. That I should’ve probably taken more time to myself and self reflected. Didn’t quite follow that advice, but here we are.

”I wasn’t entirely truthful, and I’m sure you know that more than I do at this point. After seeing you two last night, and knowing what happened over last weekend, I think it’s safe to say a lot has come to clarity for you, yes?”

”…What do you mean?” I try to play coy, keeping my face straight and voice steady.

Copia sighs, blinking at me a few times. “You are joking, right? I know for a fact you found out about Perpetua being a vampire. You can’t lie to me, Lilith. I remember very well how I found you two last night.” He shakes his head, looking down at Dez. “It’s okay. I know more about him than he probably realizes. Not like I had much choice in the matter, but I’ve known about his… status since he became one.”

I watch as Copia lightly pets Dez, her nuzzling into his touch enthusiastically. With his other hand, he pulls out a small sliver of cheese from his pocket. Dez perks up instantly, snatching the snack from his fingers quickly and nibbling away. He chuckles softly at her actions before returning his eyes to me. “I’m here because I worry about you.”

The comment throws me off guard, my face contorting to frown. “I highly doubt Perpetua would ever harm me, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

”It’s not. I have my opinions about you two becoming… closer… but your safety around him isn’t one of them. It’s… the situation that surrounds him, the situation that surrounds you. It’s a lot more intertwined than you think, Lilith.”

”What does any of this have to do with my dreams? Or you not telling me the truth?” My tone comes out a bit harsher than intended, though I do nothing to remedy it. My hands begin to pick at the blankets underneath me. I’m nervous, and I want it to stop.

Copia exhales loudly through his nose, clearly discontent. “It has everything to do with your dreams. I may not be able to tell you everything altogether just yet, but trust me. You two crossing paths isn’t a coincidence. This entire situation isn’t chance. What I want you to keep in mind for now is to stay safe.” As I roll my eyes at this comment, Copia’s hand reaches to stop my fidgeting. “I know you’re tired of hearing this. But we only remind you because it’s true.”

Copia swiftly pulls my sleeve up, exposing my hidden scars and markings. I attempt to pull my hand away, yet he keeps me still. “This is more real than you realize, Lilith. I’m speaking to you as a friend; not as your Cardinal, your Papa or Frater Imperator. I’m telling you to be fucking careful and trust us.”

Copia’s words cut through me like a hot knife. All of the attempts by the clergy to remind me to keep safe have fallen on deaf ears, time and time again. Maybe Terzo wasn’t just an overprotective person at all. It seems that all of it was coming from a place of love, care, and fear. I’ve heard it from multiple members of the clergy now, and maybe it’s about time I finally listen.

I’m stubborn by nature. It’s a trait that hasn’t served me very well in the past; in fact, it tends to get me into far more trouble than I anticipate. After all I’ve lived through, my first instinct is to always fight. To challenge, never accept at face value. For once, I should probably listen even with the little information I’ve been given.

My face softens in understanding, and I look to Copia. “I’m sorry.”

Copia looks at me with a forlorn expression, releasing his hold on my arm. I take the chance to cover it once again with my sleeve. “We wouldn’t be trying this hard for nothing, Lilith. And now more than ever is it imperative for you to listen. You’re about to leave our protective walls, and though you’ll be with Perpetua and the ghouls… It’s not going to be nearly as secure as it is here.”

”What am I supposed to be avoiding? Why… all of this?”

Copia takes Dez in his hands, letting her crawl up to his shoulder to nuzzle against his neck. “Don’t go places alone, don’t let yourself be out of sight from anyone. Use your instincts. As for why… I can’t delve into too much. It’s as unclear to us, for the most part, as it is to you. There’s something intertwined with the Grand Ascension and Perpetua’s anointment. Terzo and I have been researching as much as we can…”

Explains why I haven’t seen much of him in general.

”Once we have a better idea on things we’ll tell you. Please just… don’t do anything stupid for the months you’re away. Have fun, but don’t be dangerous.”

I nod, sighing as I listen to his advice. Dez stands on her hind legs at me, sniffing in my direction. It appears she agrees with Copia. The man stands slowly, holding his hand out to me. I take it, standing with him and walking towards my door. 

”You didn’t elaborate about being untruthful about my dreams, Copia.” I say softly.

He turns back to me, lips pursed and nodding. “Yeah, I was hoping you would’ve kind of forgotten…”

I frown, crossing my arms. “So then, what did you lie about? Can Perpetua enter my dreams or not? Because that’s where my mind is going.”

Copia shares a look with Dez, sighing in defeat. As he looks back at me, his eyes darken.

”It’s not Perpetua who’s entering your dreams, Lilith. Someone else is, disguising themselves as him. And we still can’t figure out who would have that ability.”