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I Can't Take Anymore Of Your Tainted Bliss

Summary:

The first thing he heard was music. Loud, passionate, burning music. Music that he swore he felt scorching in his veins; it was almost as if his entire being was alight.

 

Music revealed what ordinary words couldn't. It was the representation of someone's very soul: raw, unfiltered unapologetic. It was something real. Something that was able to take someone's unique, abstract, intangible feelings and turn them into something beautiful and true and meaningful. It was something that could be understood.

 

// OR //

 

Holt Hyde discovers things about himself and realises that most people don't actually want him around a lot.

 

// OR //

 

We need more Holt-centric fics because he is amazing and does not get enough appreciation.

 

Lmk if I missed any tags.

Title is from 'Freak Show' by Set It Off.

Chapter 1: Lucky Is She, Who Lives Unaware (doesn't get bothered by those who don't care)

Summary:

Holt is thrown into chaos and gets to exist for a bit after.

Notes:

No TWs this chapter (as far as I'm aware.) Lmk if I missed any tags or TW's.

Ended up re-writing chapter 1 to slow the pacing down a bit btw!!

Title is from 'Blow My Brains Out' by Tikkle Me

Chapter Text

The first thing he heard was music. Loud, passionate, burning music. Music that he swore he felt scorching in his veins; it was almost as if his entire being was alight.

 

Music revealed what ordinary words couldn't. It was the representation of someone's very soul: raw, unfiltered unapologetic. It was something real. Something that was able to take someone's unique, abstract, intangible feelings and turn them into something beautiful and true and meaningful. It was something that could be understood.

 

At first that was all he really knew. That was all he knew for a while, actually. He didn't completely understand what was going on a most of the time. He just heard music and followed. Nobody seemed to mind so he just went with it.

 

Until someone did mind.

 

As it turned out, he was sharing a body. Apparently he was barely even a monster as far as society was aware. He was just a product of some other kid's brain and genes — he was his opposite.

 

This 'Jackson' who he shared a body with was smart, self-aware, considerate. He was everything he wanted to be. It wasn't fair- couldn't be fair. Why should Jackson, who he'd never even met, get everything while he was only ever an afterthought?

 

Frankie had helped out a lot back then. She helped them communicate better, develop something resembling an understanding. Even with that, He'd always noticed that Jackson was bitter. Jackson always acted like his 'other side' destroyed something but he'd never shared what it was with him.

 

That was fine though. He didn't need Jackson — not that much at least. He was his own person. He was Holt Hyde.

 

Now, he had friends, family. He had a life! He refused to let something as small as Jackson ruin that for him.

 

And that's how he got where he was today: running from cops.

 

He didn't understand what had happened. Jackson had been in a normie neighbourhood for some reason and then Holt was there. Someone had probably turned their car radio on — or something just as ridiculous. He'd tried to duck into an alleyway and there was music there too. He opted to just put his headphones on, at least then he could chose the music.

 

After that, he'd just kept running.

 

Weren't they supposed to be in school?

 

No time to think about that, he supposed. Just run back to the school. At least it'd be safe — even if him and Jackson were probably in trouble for skipping.

 

Eventually, the sound of sirens faded into the distance and he was on the front steps to Monster High. He wasn't really supposed to be at school. He wasn't even enrolled. It was Jackson who was enrolled. He left a note in the notes app asking what just happened in hopes that Jackson would see it later. For now, Holt decided he was just going to stay there for a while. He only had 20 minutes left of this class and it was lunch soon, which was good because he was starving.

 

He suddenly realised he didn't recognise the song playing through his headphones. Jackson didn't listen to music (obviously) and there wasn't anyone else that used the phone so how did it get there?

 

Deciding that he was too hungry and tired to deal with that right then, he opened social media. He didn't know which, just opened an app and started scrolling. It was dull, if he was being honest. A few updates on album releases for bands he liked, a few funny videos, a few songs he promised he'd listen to later but probably wouldn't.

 

After what felt like forever, the bell rang and indicated the start of lunch. Holt made his way to the creepateria. There were a few weird looks from students in the halls but that was expected, he was technically part normie and he wasn't exactly a subtle presence regardless — 'obnoxious' was the word Jackson (and most monsters) used.

 

Arriving at the creepateria, Deuce called him over. Deuce was chill. He didn't care about being part normie or anything. He respected Holt and treated him like anyone else so he reciprocated.

 

He couldn't say the same for anyone else at the table though.

 

Heath was there. Holt didn't know the full story but Heath wasn't a fan of him or Jackson. Frankie said something about Heath 'just being a self-obsessed idiot who was only trying to protect his reputation' before promptly apologising for insulting his cousin. Holt didn't really care. Heath had never treated him like family so Holt didn't consider him family.

 

Manny was there too. Holt had little to no respect for the guy. He was a bully and he'd caused quite a few problems for Holt and Jackson in the past. Speaking of, he was mumbling something to Heath as he reached the table. Weird.

 

"Dude." Deuce greeted him.

 

"Snake eyes! How you doin', yo?" Holt tried to ignore Heath cringing.

 

The conversation continued without much issue (other than Manny making a few snide comments that Holt almost failed to ignore.) That was until his phone battery started to run out.

 

"Anyone got a charger I can borrow?" Holt asked, slightly awkwardly. He'd never really needed to ask that before, since he'd made a habit of bringing portable chargers. He would've had one if whatever disaster Jackson had gotten himself into hadn't happened — he really hoped he'd find out what was going on there soon actually.

 

"Sorry, dude. Cleo's borrowing mine." Deuce responded, seeming genuinely sorry about that. Holt didn't mind. He did mind Manny and Heath attempting to act oblivious and averting their eyes and then leaving, mumbling about having 'a thing'.

 

"God dammit." Holt mumbled. He'd only just got there, why did he have to leave already?

 

Deuce seemed to have slightly misinterpreted his annoyance, as he nudged Holt's arm and reassured him, "Ignore them, man. They're just being selfish assholes. I'll try to bring my charger by whenever Cleo's done with it, alright?"

 

"Thanks, yo. Appreciate it but you don't gotta do that for me. I didn't wanna go to class anyways." It was true, Holt didn't particularly want to sit in class. He was fairly certain it was a science or something? Whatever it was, Jackson liked it so he'd be pissed at Holt if he didn't let him go and he did not want to deal with a pissed Jackson. He may as well let Jackson out now — he'll probably need at least some charge left on their phone. At least then Holt can get a choice in when he goes.

 

"I'm gonna head out now, broski. See you later, yo."

 

He heard Deuce's hummed agreement and 'see you' as he took his headphones off and everything went quiet for a while.