Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The toon handlers were… Something…

Sure they would help out a lot  if they cared enough, that is, And frankly they care about as much as Shrimpo when it comes to anything other than seafood. 

Austin was the worst of the five, hitting, yelling, shaming, all of it. How he hadn't been fired was a miracle on his end.

He didn't just stick around Astro, No no no, that would have been way too easy. He spoke to plenty of the toons! Glisten whilst he was eating, Cosmo after baking a new chocolate chip cupcake recipe, Shrimpo after a few more holes were added to his walls, the list goes on.

He affected Glisten the most, after all, once they spoke Glisten hardly ate a thing! Cosmo might have been told he was ‘too big to bake’ but that doesn't mean he took it to heart! Right…?

Well… it did impact him, It would impact anyone if they were told the one thing they were put here to do they couldn't because of a physical aspect.

But he's the baking toon, he's meant to bake, talk, and entertain, that's all he was made out to be. When he was first made he had less than half his personality, was it like that for everyone? 

His actions back then were just orders, usually from Delilah or Arthur, ‘make a dozen cupcakes’ ‘walk in a straight line’ those days were particularly fuzzy compared to the rest of his memory.

Only after meeting the other toons did he start making his own personality. A few things were already told to him on how he should act, caring but not overly watchful, kind but not sickenly sweet, bake, bake, bake. 

The only way he made his personality was mimicking others, or taking traits from them. Self love from Glisten, frustration from Shrimpo, worry from Boxten, excetra excetra. Point is, when one of those toons stop acting their trait to Cosmo, he doesn't know how to actually feel that trait. 

Mind you, it's been a month since he was first introduced as the new toon, he isn't new anymore, so he should know his way around gardenview, his feelings, and who his friends are.

Alternatively, all Cosmo did was bake and hope someone started a conversation with him. Baking was the top priority, right? That's what was always told to him, so it should be correct!

But was Austin right about weight? Do toons even gain weight? Can they lose weight? In value, probably, but in pounds…?

He didn't look overly chubby, but compared to Boxten he was a little bigger, was there something wrong with that? 

Maybe there was, it's not like he could do anything about it, to his knowledge anyway. He should really ask someone if he could-

“COSMOOO! COSMO COSMO COSMO!” That thought was interrupted by Shelly, who had just thrown her arms around the cake-toon. “Whatcha doin??? Is that a new recipe?? I bet it is! Can I try it?!”

“Uh- I mean- there's no frosting on it, and they just came out they really should cool-!” Cosmo, having been caught off guard from the hug, had held the pan high above his head to not burn Shelly. 

“Nuh uh! You've been standing there for like twenty minutes! I don't care about frosting! C'mon, gimmie!”

“wha- wait i- I can't give you one if you keep hugging me-!” Cosmo replied, trying to lightly push her away while another hand sat down the tray of freshly baked cupcakes on the counter. 

While pushing the tray onto the counter, from which he really couldn't see the top of, he pushed the carton of eggs, which also pushed the empty mixing bowl, measuring cup, and open jar of flour. Needless to say, the flour jar shattered upon impact with the floor behind Shelly. 

“Jeez-!” Shelly let go of Cosmo to look at what fell, as Cosmo silently wanted to berate himself for not cleaning up the counter. “I'll get a towel...”

“Why a towel? Wouldn't you use a broom?”

“If you wanted flour everywhere every time you swept, yes.”

Chapter Text

Reluctantly cleaning the mess that was the flour (and giving shelly a cupcake to keep her at bay while he cleaned), Cosmo figured he should at least try and tidy the kitchen.

The only problem? He couldn't reach the sink. Neither could Shelly. He needed to make taller friends…

“Say, you never really leave the kitchen, huh? Why?” Shelly asked, mouth half full of cupcakes. She had sat down in a pink chair, legs kicking back and forth as she spoke.

“I mean… Why would I need to leave? There's not much else to do outside of the kitchen…” Cosmo replied, scrubbing the mixing bowl in the sink. He had pulled up a chair to stand on, and even then he had to stretch to see what he was doing correctly.

“I dunno, talk to kids? Even the most closed off dinosaurs had to go out to hunt!” She smiled after swallowing. “Ooh! Have ya met Astro yet??”

“Uh… the moony-face guy… Right?”

“Yep! I know you met Vee… Dandy… Pebble is down here every day, it would be pretty hard to not meet him!”

“Yeah, he always comes over to get treats before dinner! Hehe…”

“Mmm… What about Sprout?”

“Uh… who?” Cosmo shut off the water and looked at Shelly, a confused look on his face. Was that the cute strawberry guy on the posters and cut-outs?

Shelly paused, eyes turning to saucers. “You haven't met Sprout yet?! No way!”

She paused, seemingly thinking about something.

“Actually, scratch that, that makes perfect sense… He's not the best at making new friends-”

“...well uh… eeexplains why I haven't met him yet…! Haha..”

“Oh nonononono this won't do! C'mon! You're coming with me to find him. You both are gonna be friends, I just know it!” Shelly exclaimed with far too much excitement, getting up and running over to Cosmo, practically forcing him down off the chair and holding his hand as she sped-walked to the elevator.

“He loves baking! Probably more than you do! He's always watching over everyone, making sure they're safe-” Shelly rambled on as if she found a new fossil.

At the most, she was helpful, caring, all that good stuff, but jeez she really picks the worst times to talk…

It wasn't like the thoughts he was thinking prior to Shelly stopped, they were more rather… paused. They would unpause when it got silent, and honestly? He hated how his mind would do that.

Maybe he could try thinking about the strawberry guy. It's relevant enough to the present.

What would he even say? ‘Hi I'm Cosmo! I've been here for a month and completely avoided you!’ because that'll win him over…

Making friends is hard.

Like, really hard.

How did he even become friends with Shelly?? Was she just extroverted enough for the both of them? He wasn't introverted at all, he wasn't made that way and he didn't act that way! At least he hoped he sounded extroverted.

Chapter Text

“Cosmo?”

There's that voice. He missed it. Could you really miss something that never left? Who knows, Cosmo definitely didn't. 

“Helloooo? Are you okay? Don't tell me you got into the grape juice again…” The voice shook Cosmo's shoulder. 

He made a tiny attempt to look at the heavenly voice, but all he could see was blurred colors, fading in and out of each other, a light red color planted firmly in the middle, blending with the ceiling lights. 

Did he heal someone too much again? His head pounded… 

Maybe he turned his head vertical one too many times the other day, jostled around whatever's in there… 

“Cosmo! Wake up!”

You know, maybe that voice was a little annoying… All Cosmo wanted to do right now was sleep, this was killing the whole mood! 

“C'mon…  it'll make you feel better..!”

A thick, sweet substance was felt in his mouth. Way too familiar, and probably way too caloric for what he had been working on. God he needed to quit getting injured so much around Sprout- wait- THAT'S the voice! Why did that take him so long..? 

His vision cleared up a bit, shapes coming into view to be seen, that damned blinding light above, couldn't it dim?? 

“Oh thank gardenview.. Cosmo! What happened!? Seriously, it's floor 4! You just passed out, you didn't even get hit!” Sprout's worried voice rang out through Cosmo's mind. 

“‘T's nothing… I'm fine, see?” Just couldn't make that less convincing, huh Cos?

“You've never done that before! It's better to take you up, you need rest, you can't be on runs like this, passing out isn't a ‘I'm just fine’ thing..! You sound exhausted, have you been sleeping!?”

Sprout needs therapy. Honestly, couldn't Sam hire a phone therapist for Sprout?!  How would that even work..?

Cosmo felt himself get lifted up, albeit shakily, totally not salt in the wound there-

He tried his best to help Sprout with standing but his legs felt like melted jello, the unbearable static feel kept him from walking. 

“Hey… Sprout..? Can we just… stay on the ground for a sec…? My legs are asleep… Heh…” Cosmo tried to project but it sounded like the rambles Sprout would go on while ‘totally not stress baking’.

“Nono- I got it- it's fine- I'll carry you up!” As strained his voice was, it did feel a bit comforting… I mean, how COULDN'T you feel comforted??

Sprout made it two steps with Cosmo before accidentally dropping him.

“Told you…”

“Well I'm sorry I don't want a twisted eating my best friend!”

“...Sprout isn't RnD and Rodger here..?”

“... still.”

“Sprout, seriously… just give me a second…”

“Mmm… I don't like waiting. C'mon!" Before Sprout could grab onto Cosmo, he jerked away, using the nearby counter to pull himself up.

“Would you please just listen to me for once?! I can walk, I'm not dead! Did you think you were gonna drag me upstairs?? You struggle with picking up Toodles!” Cosmo vented with admitted too much frustration. Why was he frustrated?

 Sprout was just trying to help, what had gotten into him? Pent up frustration? Anger? Just the feeling of being a burden? Why couldn't he figure it out..

“Sorry, let's just… go back up…” Cosmo muttered before walking to the employee only door to go upstairs. Maybe if Sprout went up first he could find something here to try and cool that burning feeling in his chest…

Like the bottom of a tequila bottle… Or wine, he really isn't picky, if it'll get him drunk it's good to go.

Sprout had started hiding the alcohol in the place because of how common it was for Cosmo to go on runs drunk out of his mind, hypocritical or not, Sprout wouldn't stop hiding them.

“You first, Sprout…” Cosmo said, gesturing to the stairs. “My bracelet fell out of my apron, I need it back.”

“I could always help you find it!” Sprout replied, too enthusiastic for Cosmos' liking. 

“I know where it is, I don't need any help!”

“...I guess… okay… I'll see you later, Cos…”

“Yep, bye Sprout!”

Sprout was a little suspicious, as of the scrunched look on his face, before starting to walk up the stairs.   

Cosmo let out a breath he forgot he was holding and started rummaging through the cabinets. If he were afraid of spiders, this would have been close to impossible with how many webs there were in there. Granted, nobody's touched it in how long?

The lights above him glared down, as if trying to judge him. They couldn't judge, they weren't alive! At least Cosmo hoped. Really, that thought was childish, but was also worked into him like flour into cookie dough. Why? To make him more relatable? He prayed no kids acted like him, or tried mimicking the things he did.

His hand grazed the familiar bottle type. Gotcha. He took the bottle down gingerly, could he even wait to go back up to have at it? It's not like the twisteds could genuinely harm him right now, and he would be alone for once with nobody interrupting him!

How do normal toons deal with problems? They definitely don't resort to alcoholism. Did Sprout just deal with everybody's problems so nobody was stressed?

They never had to deal with this. They wouldn't know how to help. How would you even be able to help a feeling that burns him from the inside? At least the ‘grape juice’ cooled the feeling along with his thoughts, washing them away quicker than dealing with the problems ever could.

Cosmo was tired. Tired of dealing with everything. His thoughts were pounding away so loudly a drum would be jealous. He felt like sobbing, did he even have an actual reason behind that one? Why did he want to cry so badly?

Why wouldn't his feelings repress, did it not work anymore?? How much does he need to feel better?? Half the bottle? The whole thing??

Chapter Text

How long has it been? Doesn't matter… he needed Tylenol… His head throbbed, louder than earlier. What time is it… didn't he need to do something at some time?

Cosmo stood up, taking notice of the fuzzy-static feel in his arm and leg. He'd walk it off, It'll go away soon anyway. 

6:58 pm…  didn't this run start in the morning? Cosmo muttered in his mind, the thought echoing back reverbed to be louder. Just a few flights of stairs… you got this Cos…

Maybe this would have been easier if he wasn't hung over… The stairs in front of him squiggle with the cool air, the metal railing dull against his hand. Maybe ‘forgetting’ to eat a few times before runs and alcohol mixed wasn't a good combination.

Wasn't Cosmos' fault, it was the mirror. Seriously, It was because of the mirror! Ironically both an actual mirror and Glisten were at fault.

Toons didn't NEED food, it gave them energy, but that's it, being low on energy wasn't hard to live with, but there's never a large change with the actual body.

That's what Glisten always said when Cosmo asked anyway. Who knows if it was true, Glisten could have very well been lying to try and keep Cosmo from going down the same number induced path. No better way to figure it out than to test it though!

Cosmo was doing his best to see if there would be a change, but with getting injured on Runs with Sprout, and Sprout throwing a frosting covered cupcake to heal it, it was a bit difficult.

He's asked Dandy to put him on less runs with Sprout, he needed variety anyway. Couldn't just stick to Sprout's side like a Hurt dog.

One flight Done. Three more.

Was he meant to bake something today..? He remembers talking to a few toons about baking stuff… maybe it was Glisten… or Astro… maybe Boxten..? The memory was blurred into faded colors, mixing and blending into each other…

Two more flights…

One more flight…

Finally…

Cosmo reached the top, admittedly exhausted. His head throbbed. Looking around, spotting the door, he stumbled his way over to it, the smooth knob caressing his hand. He turned the knob and walked out, the New light blinding him for a moment before his eyes adjusted.

“Gh… Do the lights needa be this bright..?” Cosmo muttered before walking out further, shutting the door behind him.

Was he meant to be in the kitchen? That feels like where he should be… but then again, he always feels like that.

Maybe he could go down to the warehouse, nobody really looks for him in the first place, but he felt like hiding. Why? Who knows, he definitely didn’t. 

Walking through the toon room area to the elevator, doing his best to not trip over the wiggly path, he heard a few voices.

“...bake together, but he wasn't there, I waited for an hour thinking he was just late but he's never late, at least never that late and I heard he came up early with you so I guessed he was gonna be there but he isn't, I don't even want to stress you out with this, but it's about Cosmo not me..!”

“Quite odd of Cossie to be late, the one time I tag along, too.”

“Ill… Ugh.. should have known he was gonna do something, he's been acting off for a few weeks…”

He hid behind a crate placed just before the large entryway of the kitchen, listening in.

“I'm just concerned about what he's doing, why would he of all toons start neglecting himself?”

Glisten… The slight worry that dripped through his words somehow made the thoughts he had before silent. Why was he concerned?

“Wa-wait, neglecting?? Is that why he hasn't been showing up to bake?? I thought he was just busy!”

Boxten… So that's why Glisten was concerned, Boxten was there… Boxten was always worried about something, this isn't surprising..

“Wait.. did he tell you something? What do you mean neglect..?”

Sprout? Makes sense… I mean it is the kitchen…

“hm? Yeah, he asked me something about weight, did my best to answer him to help, but I doubt he listened.”

“God, Cos… He's gonna be the death of me… I need to find him…”

“I've been seeing him come up the elevator a few hours after his runs, I just thought he took a little longer on floors..!”

“For the love of gardenview… He was meant to come up earlier with me but he said he dropped his bracelet out of his apron pocket and had to grab it, I didn't think he’d just stay down there..!”

“should we make a search party? I'm sure others would be happy to oblige.”

“Mhm, the more the quicker we’ll find him..!”

“I don't want everyone worrying, that's not their duty, Boxten, can you cover the simpler recipe orders we get while I look for him?”

“sounds good… Cmon Glis..!”

Wait. Footsteps. Oh god. Where do I hide..?? Erughh.. Poppy please don't be in here..!

Cosmo ducked into Poppy's room, out of sight of, supposedly if he listened correctly, Sprout, who would be walking past to go down the stairs to look for him.

After a minute or so, Cosmo peeked his head out of the pink painted wood door, looking to see if the coast was clear enough to make a break for the elevator.

Hearing clattering from the kitchen, he assumed Boxten and Glisten were trying to bake. Probably failing miserably… Boxten rarely focused with Glisten, that much was obvious… 

Stumbling out of the room, he peeked his head around the corner, making sure they weren't looking, before making a break for the elevator. 

Warehouse. Nobody's there. 

Chapter Text

Safe to say the warehouse was empty. On occasion Vee or Astro would be down there checking supplies and cameras. 

The cool concrete contrasted how the cake roll felt. Quite honestly, it was probably the alcohol flushing his face. 

Stumbling through the floor, Cosmo settled in the room just next to the broken elevator. It was close to the camera controls, and thinking about it now he should erase the footage of him coming up in general… 

The smooth wall welcomed him as he slid to the ground. Maybe it was a good thing he knew how to get away from everyone. 

No complaints… no nagging… nobody screaming in your ear to get a grip, he was sick of it all. 

His head threw another throb that coursed through his already exhausted body. He couldn't sleep yet… Astro would be able to see where he was if he did… then he'd tell sprout… who'd tell Vee probably to come down to get him, because for some unknown reason sprout decides to vow never to enter the warehouse. 

Was the pain keeping him awake? Maybe that's a good thing… 

Chapter Text

“... Cosmo…”

‘Erughh… the one time I closed my eyes too. Lovely.’

Prying his eyes open to see who was talking, he was interrupted with more talking. 

“... Your dream ended a while ago… you should be awake by now…”

Great… just the person he wanted to see. Astro. 

“... Hi, Astro.” Cosmo spoke groggily. What time was it… what… day was it… 

“... Sprout’s been looking for you… sent me down here to look around… four hours ago… you've been gone for… I think a day… n’ sprout probably thinks you got actually eaten by a twisted… heh…”

Of course he did… it's Sprout we are talking about, of course he would stress out of his mind… it's kind of annoying… 

“Yep… kinda… figured as much…”

The silence lingered on far longer than Cosmo wanted it to. 

“... Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be..?”

“...you just… your dreams are sort of… concerning…”

That was bound to happen, Astros’ the one who made the dreams in the first place, at some point he was gonna comment on them… 

“I'm fine, Astro, really. Nothin to worry about!”

“... Okay…” 

Astros’ tone didn't sound like he believed Cosmos’ reassurance, but none the less, he didn't pry.

“You plan on going back up to Sprout soon?”

“I dunno… I mean, I kinda want to just be alone right now.” 

“... Stay down here if you want… But at least text Sprout that you're fine… ignoring all of his messages sounds pretty… for lack of a better word, cruel for someone like you … he also probably wouldn't believe me if I said you were safe…”

“Cruel because I wanted to be alone, funny.” 

Cosmo mumbled before reaching for his phone, only to come to terms that it was nowhere to be found. 

“... Huh.”

“Hm?”

“...coulda sworn my phone was just here…”

“Ah… yeah… Sprout said something about your phone next to Rodgers capsule, really fueled his search..”

“... Yeah… “

“... So…  you might just want to come back up…”

“No-!”

“... I- I mean… okay..!”

“...”

Getting up off the ground, albeit with a hazy swish of the loose ichor in his head echoing to him, Cosmo was ready to go back up! 

Astro seemed to let out a breath before leading him back to the correct elevator. 

“... Sprout isn't…  too worried… right..? Like… ‘stress baking and 80 more runs than usual’ worried..? “

“... “

“... Astro..? “

“I make no promises… “

“... Great…”

Chapter Text

After the whole fiasco, and albeit the annoyance he felt currently, Cosmo was forced into staying by sprouts side for the next few days, just to make sure he's perfectly fine. 

One set of interview-worthy questions later, and his whole ‘get crunked after runs’ idea was squashed, Cosmo was just a little more agitated. 

Okay a lot agitated. 

But did he let it show? Nope! It might have stuck in the back of his head but it's not gonna be displayed like an ancient artifact. 

Sure, maybe a few times he's snapped, but it won't happen again! Cosmo was just stuck waiting on a bench for Sprout to come back up. Resorting to marinating in your thoughts isn't exactly the most fun, especially when you're angry. 

Glancing over at a clock, Cosmo let out a huff. 4:00 Pm. Boxtens baking time. God he hated being stuck like a dog tied to a pole with a leash. 

Even when Sprout did come back up, he looked exhausted. But every time Cosmo asked, tried, prodded at him for answers, he'd just say he's fine and move on. 

You'd think being closer to someone you loved would be a good thing, but it's just awkward now! 

Okay, no, let's look on the bright side! You're with your best friend all the time, isn't that great? Most people don't see their best friend hour to hour, you're lucky! 

…

This isn't helping, what time was it now? 4:02. Ughhhh. This is taking forever!

Cosmo just wanted to be alone more, and not have to sit on a bench to achieve that. Was that selfish? Wanting to be alone more?

“... Sprout I swear.. “

Even his name sounded sick to Cosmo. A name that once consumed his thoughts day in and day out was now tarnished and rolled in mud. 

“. . Fuck it. “

Cosmo got up and walked off, after remembering what spots were blind to cameras anyway. The train. That area’s always overlooked..