Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a still evening. The kind that Angelica might have enjoyed if she wasn’t currently attending her sister’s wedding to the man she was in love with. Alone on the balcony, Angelica looked out wistfully at the nighttime view. She was supposed to be celebrating right now, soaking up the joy of the wedding alongside her precious Eliza. Fulfilling the duty of a maid of honour, an older sister. But that swelling sorrow inside her gave her a feeling that it would not be sensible to interact with others right now. She inhaled deeply, the winter air searing her insides as she tried to stop herself from tearing up. No, in a moment she would be just fine, and she could go back inside and act like the socialite she was meant to be. She took another breath, about to steel herself to return to the party when she heard the door to the balcony slide open. 

“Yo, great speech just now!” a voice behind her said, and Angelica turned around abruptly. John Laurens, Alexander’s best man, stood behind her, offering a glass of champagne. 

Angelica smiled back easily, accepting the glass. “Thank you. Your speech was excellent as well.” Though Laurens had walked next to her in the wedding procession, she didn’t actually know him well; they’d barely said anything to each other before this in the rush of the party. Then he'd left to party with his friends – she'd seen him down quite a bit of alcohol. 

Laurens strolled – more like stumbled – forward with his own glass in hand, joining her by the parapet. Judging by his movements, Angelica suspected he was quite tipsy indeed. “Very touching stuff. Are you in love with Alex, by any chance?”

If it weren’t for the parapet, Angelica would have dropped her champagne. “Excuse me?!” 

With a slight shake of her head, she forced herself to regain her composure, but her heart was still hammering in her chest. How does he know? He can't have known. She cleared her throat. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. He is marrying my sister, and I couldn’t be happier for her-”

“Well, two things can be true at the same time, can’t they?” Laurens’ eyes were half-lidded, his smile sleepy as he faced her, but Angelica felt her blood run cold. Despite his drunken state, he seemed to be able to see through her like glass. 

Noticing her reaction, he laughed. “Relax, your secret is safe with me. I just saw the look in your eyes during your toast. Couldn't have missed it.” 

Angelica didn’t respond, trying to hide the tremble in her hands as she set the glass down on the parapet. As if he was reading her mind again, Laurens added, “Don’t worry, I doubt anyone else noticed. I’m not judging you for it either, in fact I completely understand. I mean,” he coughed a little, “I’m in love with him too.”

Her eyes widened as she whipped around to face him. The soldier hiccuped-giggled a bit, his head lowering to avoid eye contact. “Oops. Guess I’m a bit less sober than I thought I was. I know, it’s wrong and unnatural, you don’t have to tell me. I would never in a million years act on it anyway.”

“You- that’s-” Angelica was taken aback, but she had no place to comment. Definitely not when she was in love with her own sister’s husband. “Well. Love is love. We can’t control who we fall for.” Not to mention the man in question was Alexander Hamilton, the most magnetic person she’d ever met. One couldn’t exactly blame others for noticing him too. “I suppose these feelings will be our little secret.”

Laurens laughed, the relief in his tone evident as he finally met her gaze. “That’s right. Thank you for understanding, Miss Schuyler.”

“Oh, you can just call me Angelica.”

“Sure, then please call me John.” He exhaled, flashing a warm smile at her. “Man, it feels good to finally tell someone. I’ve been keeping this to myself the whole time.”

Angelica was almost certain he would have continued keeping his feelings secret if he wasn't drunk, but she had to agree. “It's been hard hiding it from my sisters. I'm sure they haven't noticed, but… it's really not easy going through it alone.” she admitted. 

John nodded seriously. “It must be painful watching your sister getting everything you wanted, huh.”

“No, I’m happy for her. Eliza loves him.” She blinked away the prickling at her eyes. “I just keep wondering what it would have been like if things were different. If I hadn’t introduced him to her that night at the ball.”

Now she was finally able to share her emotions with someone, the words poured out of her mouth. “I knew from the start that I could never marry him because of his financial status, which is why I introduced him to Eliza. That was the right choice for my family. But I can't stop thinking about what could have been if I’d chosen to be selfish just once. And then I feel disgusted at myself, because how could I even think about doing that to my family, my sister?” 

Her tirade over, she swiped her hand across her eyes. “But my feelings don't matter right now. I must be happy for them, and be content with longing from a distance. I can do nothing more.”

John exhaled. “Damn, that certainly sounds tough. I'm sorry you're going through all that.”

She smiled back halfheartedly. “Thanks. It can't be easy for you either.”

To her surprise, he started laughing. “No. No, it's not. Do you know what he wrote to me once, when I was away in South Carolina?” There was a distant look in his eyes as he quoted, “Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you.” Angelica sucked in a breath. “I shall only tell you that till you bade us adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you.” Despite the words he was reciting, his tone was listless. “You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent.”

He laughed again, bitterly. “Romantic, right? You have no idea how many times I've reread those letters. Giving myself hope that he might return my feelings. For a time, I was sure he did. Yet look at where we are now.” On the parapet, his fingers curled into fists, his tone sharpening. “We could never be together. This was bound to happen. I was stupid for hoping otherwise.” 

“No,” said Angelica softly, “you’re not. You love him. Of course you would hope.”

“Yeah, well, it won't change anything now.” John moved to take a swig of his champagne, paused, then raised his glass in Angelica’s direction. “Cheers to us, I suppose. To being unrequitedly in love with Alexander Hamilton.”

She couldn't help but smile, clinking her glass against his. “Cheers to us. At least now we don't have to go through this alone.” 

“You're absolutely right. Without you, I would be getting even more wasted right now,” he grinned as he downed his glass. “Now, let's not talk about such depressing affairs. What made you start liking Alex? I'm just curious.”

A certain memory surfacing in her mind, Angelica cracked a grin. “Well, there’s just something about his way of words, isn't there? When we met, the first thing he said to me was ‘you strike me as a woman who can never be satisfied.’ I mean, who says that to a woman he's just met? I thought he was crazy. But he was also surprisingly accurate.”

“My god, he said that to you? I’ve never been too interested in women myself, but even I know that's not how one should be making a first impression,” John chortled. “He said something crazy when I first met him, too. I was at a bar with the other two when we saw him and Aaron Burr together. Out of nowhere he just went, ‘if you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?’ Later on we found out they'd just met that night too. What is it with him and saying insane things to strangers?”

She huffed a laugh. “And we end up liking him anyway.”

“Right? He’s lucky he has so many other redeeming qualities. Those eyes, for instance. And that smile. And those legs! Eliza is truly a fortunate woman.”

There was no disagreeing with any of those statements, but the energy with which he said them made her chuckle. “Truly. At least we can still admire them for the rest of our lives.”

“Hooray, what joy!” he said wryly, drawing another laugh. “Now, it appears the alcohol in my glass has run dry. Would you like to return to the party with me, or shall I leave you here for a while more?”

Tipping her head back, Angelica polished off the rest of her champagne. “You know what, I’m feeling a lot better now. I think I’ll join you inside.” 

John flashed a grin as he offered his arm in her direction. “In which case, let us go, Miss Schuyler.” She smiled back as she took it and let him lead her back into the house. 

As they entered, surprised looks flicked in their direction. She knew what they were thinking: the esteemed Angelica Schuyler, on the arm of one of Washington’s aides? Allowing a man to bring her around a party was certainly not something she did very often. Hopefully it would not draw too many negative rumours she would have to quash later on. 

They had only taken a few steps when two men approached. “Laurens, where have you been?” Lafayette and Mulligan, each holding their own wineglasses, stared down at him, then noticed Angelica’s hand on his arm. 

“Wow… you two are friends now?” the Frenchman remarked, raising his eyebrows. “First Alexander stops me, now it is you. Never mind, I shall not invade.”

Mulligan smirked, elbowing John. “Hope you had a bit of fun.”

John seemed ready to argue when Angelica interrupted. “Yes, we had a most enjoyable conversation. I'll return him to you now.” Her smile was polite but razor-sharp, and the two men glanced at each other in what looked like fear before taking a few steps back. She turned her gaze to John, who appeared an equal mix of scared and impressed. “I'll see you around?” 

“Yeah, of course. It was great talking to you!” He  scampered away with the other two, glancing over his shoulder to wave at her as he left. Angelica waved back, then felt a force collide into her from behind. 

“Angelica, where were you? I was looking for you!” Peggy exclaimed, then rapidly lowered her voice to a whisper. “Was that Lieutenant Colonel Laurens you were with?”

“Sorry, I was getting some fresh air on the balcony. Colonel Laurens came to do the same, so we just chatted for a while.” Angelica wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulders, squeezing her in a side-hug. “I hope nothing interesting happened while I was gone?”

“Nope, the party was boring without you! I hope Colonel Laurens wasn't trying to flirt with you or anything weird like that.” Peggy’s face scrunched up a little, then relaxed abruptly. “Actually, he's quite decent-looking. Maybe that wouldn't be too bad.”

The image of John saying he’d never been too interested in women popped into her head, and Angelica snickered. “No, I don't think he had such intentions. Shall we enjoy the rest of our night?” Peggy glanced at her curiously, then acquiesced. 

The moon was high in the sky by the time celebrations were drawing to a close. Angelica and Peggy stood at the doorway of the mansion, bidding the guests farewell as they left. Alexander and Eliza were absent from the scene, busy preparing to depart to their new home. Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and was greeted with the sight of three clearly inebriated soldiers. 

“We’re making a move now,” Mulligan announced, his words slightly slurring together. “Thanks for the great party.”

“And ze drinks,” Lafayette added on, swaying a little. His French accent was even thicker when he was drunk. “Excellent alcohol.”

Angelica turned her attention to John, who surprisingly looked the most clear-headed of the three as he supported the swaying Frenchman. “Yes, thank you so much for hosting. Um, Angelica, could I talk to you for a second?”

Peggy’s eyes widened, her head snapping around to stare at him. Lafayette gave him a resounding thwack on the back, and Mulligan guffawed, “Go for it, Laurens!” 

John laughed nervously but said nothing, only looking at her with pleading eyes. What on earth could this be about? “Sure? We can speak over there.” 

She led him to one of the side sitting rooms, acutely aware of the three curious gazes on their backs. “What did you want to say?”

There was a pregnant pause. John looked at her for a moment before deeply inhaling. Briefly, his brow furrowed, considering, then he knelt down on one knee. Looking up to make eye contact with her, he said, “Angelica Schuyler, will you marry me?”

Angelica’s heart dropped. “Excuse me?!”

John covered his face with his hands. “I'm sorry. I didn't know if I had to actually get down on one knee for this-”

I just got proposed to? And of all things to be worried about, he was thinking about whether or not he should be kneeling? Her mouth opened and closed several times, struggling to find the right words for this ridiculous scenario. Finally she settled on, “might I ask why you are proposing to me?” 

“Right, I just did that. Just hear me out for a second.” He wrung his hands together, thinking. “You know I have no interest in women, and from what you said, I don’t think there’s anyone else for you but Alexander. We could get married, and it wouldn’t- there wouldn’t be real feelings involved. I’d never touch you, or make you do anything you didn’t want to do. We could live our lives without the scrutiny about why we’re unmarried.”

Scrutiny? That was unexpected. She had a feeling this proposition wasn’t just about Alexander: there were likely other factors at play. Before she could respond, a voice— Lafayette’s— yelled from outside, “Laurens, you lovebird, we are leaving, hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’m coming!” Laurens called back, hastily making his way towards the door. Just before he pushed it open, he looked back at her. “I’ll write to you to explain more, but… just think about it?”

Wordlessly, Angelica nodded. The moment he left the room, she dropped onto an armchair. Okay, that was crazy. For all her smarts, receiving a marriage proposal on her sister’s wedding night was the last thing she could possibly have predicted. John Laurens must be out of his mind. 

Was he, though? She blew out a breath as she contemplated. All things considered, it wasn’t such a bad idea. Now that Eliza was married, the pressure for Angelica, the older sister, to find someone would mount. The last thing she wanted was to be carted off with some stranger and be trapped as nothing more than his wife. At least she had things in common with John, and he didn’t seem like the type to mistreat women. Still, there were other things to consider— his background and career would have to be a good match for her family, and- 

Her train of thought was interrupted by a shrieking Peggy as she burst into the room. “What did he say to you? Is he gonna court you?”

Angelica quickly let a smile return to her face. “No, nothing so serious. He simply told me he wants to write to me.” Not a lie. 

“Oh. Well, that’s still suspicious!” Peggy said, crossing her arms. “He certainly sounds interested in you.”

Given that they might get married still, Angelica didn’t think it was right to deny this too much. “We’ll see. I am very interesting, after all.”

“What’s this about someone courting Angelica?” another voice chimed in, sweet as bells. Eliza’s face appeared in the doorway, a glint in her eyes. 

“Eliza! Come here and listen to this,” said Peggy, gesturing for their sister to sit down. “Angelica and Colonel Laurens were talking earlier, and now he pulled her aside and told her that he wants to write to her. Don’t you think he wants to court her?”

“Oh my.” Eliza’s smile grew into a teasing grin. “The best man and the maid of honour getting together would be adorable. I hope things go well.”

Angelica laughed, shaking her head. “I already told Peggy it’s not that serious. We just had a conversation and became friends. There’s no need to exaggerate it.”

“Oh Angelica, any man who speaks to you can do nothing but fall in love,” said Eliza, clasping Angelica’s hands. “If you’re interested, you need only say the word and he’ll propose.”

Well, we kind of got there already. Angelica repressed a dry laugh. “Well, we’ll see how it goes. Where’s Alexander?”

“Oh, he’s bringing our things downstairs. We should tell him! He’ll be overjoyed that his best friend is-”

“No, I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Angelica interjected hurriedly. Until we agree on an arrangement, if any, I don’t think it would be a good idea to tell him anything. “We’ve just become friends, that’s all.” 

Her sisters beamed knowingly. “If you want to keep it a secret for now, we get it,” Peggy sang. “You need your privacy!”

Angelica sighed with a small smile on her face. When her sisters were convinced of something, they were impossible to shake— it was a Schuyler family trait. In this case, if she agreed to his proposition, that would work in her favour. “That would be great. Thank you.”

Both of them nodded with enthusiasm. “Alex is probably done, I should go,” said Eliza, standing up. “Will you see us off?”

“Of course! We’re coming!” Peggy chirped, following her sister out of the room. 

Angelica trailed behind, still turning the proposition over in her head. She looked up, and— her heart rose a little— there Alexander stood, suitcases in hand, looking as handsome as ever, if a bit ruffled by all the moving. “The carriage is outside, are you ready to go?” he asked Eliza, shooting the sisters a smile.

“Of course, let me help you!” Her sister rushed forward to scoop up one of the bags. Angelica swallowed. Though she tried to deny it, she couldn’t get rid of the little stab of hurt she felt seeing him look at Eliza with such fondness in those beautiful eyes. Forcing the smile to stay on her face, she quickly moved forward to assist them with the luggage. As long as she didn’t show a hint of pain, they would be fine. As long as she didn’t show a hint of pain. 

After a tearful farewell, Angelica and Peggy waved as the newlyweds’ carriage rode into the distance. As they walked back to the house, her sister sighed, “I’m going to miss them.” 

“So will I,” said Angelica, truthfully. “But they will be happy together, so we should be happy for them too.” Peggy nodded in agreement, entering the house. 

Before stepping through the door, Angelica looked back at the retreating carriage, its lantern but a faint speck in the distance. “Cheers to us. At least now we don’t have to go through this alone,” was what she’d said to John as they toasted to their own misery. 

Yes, she didn’t have to go through this alone. Angelica stepped through the doorway, mind made up. When Laurens wrote to her, she would have a response. 

Chapter Text

“Angelica, there’s a letter for you! From Lieutenant Colonel Laurens!” 

“Where? Let me see,” Angelica commanded, almost snatching the letter from her sister’s hands. 

Peggy giggled. “Woah, you must really like him to want to read it so badly.”

No, I just want more details about his wedding proposition, Angelica mentally corrected, but she concealed the thought with a light laugh, patting Peggy’s head. “No, I’m just curious to see what he’s written.”

Her sister shook her head teasingly as Angelica went upstairs to her room with the letter. “I want to read it when you’re done!”

“Absolutely not,” Angelica called back with a grin. Though she would love to see Peggy’s reaction if she found out she’d been proposed to, it was far too early to reveal her hand. Since the wedding a few days ago, she had been carefully considering John’s proposal. The plan had its appeal, but Angelica Schuyler would not be wed solely to share the emotional burden of loving Alexander Hamilton: John Laurens had to be a man worthy of marrying a Schuyler as well. Hopefully, this letter would contain more information – about his family, background, future career – so she could come to a decision. 

She got to her room and quickly opened the letter. It read:

To Miss Angelica Schuyler,

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me that night. I might have been intoxicated when I came up with the idea of getting married, but thinking about it sober, I still believe it is a sound plan. I am sure you will require more details, so allow me to elaborate. 

As I have told you, I have never felt much interest or attraction towards women, but this is not a sentiment accepted by society or my parents (in fact, you should destroy this letter at the earliest possible opportunity). Just like you, I am the oldest son, and while they have yet to ask, I imagine my parents are expecting me to get married sooner rather than later. In that aspect, we have much in common: as the oldest Schuyler daughter you must be facing similar pressures. I for one would prefer to be married to a charming lady such as yourself, who I would get along with as a friend, rather than a one-sided, loveless marriage. 

If you are concerned about my family background, I am sure it would interest you to know that our fathers are acquainted: my father Henry Laurens was President of the Continental Congress from 1777 to 1778, and I believe your father also served there in that time. On top of that, my family owns a prosperous rice plantation in South Carolina, which I may inherit as long as I follow my father's wishes and study Law after the war is over. 

As for being an intellectual match, while I do not dare compete with our dear Alexander, I greatly appreciated your company and reassurance last night. I sincerely hope we can continue to be friends, even if my proposal is not to your interest. 

While this is not a sentence I imagined I would ever write to a lady, I would be honoured to have your hand in marriage. I anticipate your favourable response. 

Yours, 

John Laurens

Angelica scanned the letter, nodding as she noted the details. His family and background was satisfactory, more than satisfactory even. Laurens wasn't the most common surname, but she hadn't thought to connect the previous President of the Continental Congress and the soldier she'd met a few days ago. She wouldn't have to worry about him marrying her for status, then. And Law was a profitable career that would undoubtedly be important in building a new nation after the war. Angelica could hardly imagine a more promising suitor. She picked up her quill and began to pen her response. 

“Have you heard? Lafayette was given command of the vanguard to march on the British!” declared Alex as he strode into the tent. 

John looked up from his writing. “Not Charles Lee?” 

“No, apparently he turned it down because ‘the force is too small for a Major General to lead.’” He pitched his voice up in an imitation of the General, then made a face. “I can’t believe he was promoted.”

“That asshole didn’t deserve it at all,” John agreed. “At least Lafayette is taking the command. He’s gonna kill it.”

“Oui, our Frenchman will be fine. But I hoped I might get to go. I’ve been asking General Washington for a command for ages now.” Alex sighed, slumping down next to John. “When will he finally let us fight?”

John chuckled. “We signed up for this line of work when we became his aides.”

“Yeah, but at least you get to go on reconnaissance missions and stuff. I’m not even let out of camp! All I do is write his correspondence and attend his meetings,” Alex retorted. 

“Reconnaissance missions aren’t that fun,” John pointed out. “You have to be silent out there, y’know. No talking. I’m not sure you can do that.”

“Ha! You’re not funny,” his friend said, but he was grinning. “Anyway, we are to arrange Lafayette’s supplies. Let’s go.”

For the rest of that day and the next, the aides were swept up in a whirlwind of work preparing for the march. Washington wanted to catch the British before they evacuated Philadelphia and regrouped in New York, so the Continental Army had to be out there as soon as possible to have the best chance of catching up. There was no rest for the newlywed either: Alex was writing non-stop every day in their tent, requesting supplies and troops. But as always, they got the job done — within the week Lafayette was able to leave camp and begin his pursuit, John and Alex wishing him luck as he left. 

Two days later, Alex burst into their tent again, this time a grim look on his face. “Lafayette went too far. He’s exhausted his supplies while trying to chase the British forces. General Washington is sending reinforcements.” 

He didn’t say it out loud, but John could feel the worry radiating from him. Lafayette is in danger. “Shit. Who’s he sending?”

Alex groaned, covering his face with his hands. “Charles Lee.”

The name felt like a slap to the face. “You’re kidding.”

“That ass requested for command of the whole damn force because he realised how significant it is. We’re lucky Washington didn’t grant it,” Alex said, scowling. “He should’ve sent us along. I tried to convince him of that, but he kept saying we need to stay alive. I don’t understand, we’re here to fight-”

John moved over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Lafayette’s smart, he’ll be fine. We just gotta trust the general to get him out of this.”

Alex groaned again, but John felt him relax a little under his touch. “You’re right. Lee better be useful for once in his life.”

Thankfully all seemed well; a report from Lee came by sunrise the next morning, proclaiming that success was almost certain. Washington nodded approvingly as he received the message. “We ride out in the morning. Laurens, you go ahead of us to check the terrain and enemy positions. Alexander, you come with me.”

Alex whipped around to look at John, eyes shining even brighter than the candles in the tent. John’s heart fluttered at the sight, but he swallowed it down. He’s just excited he gets to fight. But his eyes have no right to look so good in this light. Wow, that rhymes. For a second, he grinned at his own joke, then redirected it at his friend. Alex beamed back, making his heart do another flip, then both men turned to salute the general. “Yes, sir!”

Within the hour, John was at the camp exit, pistol in his belt and horse ready to be mounted. Alex stood by the gate, watching him double-check his equipment. “Good luck, Laurens. I’ll see you later?” 

“Course you will.” He looked up from his gun to notice that Alex was eyeing him up and down rather disconcertingly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Alex seemed to hesitate, then shook his head and advanced towards him. John froze as arms wrapped around his body. “Be careful out there. I don’t want to lose you,” Alex breathed into his ear. 

John blinked, processing the fact that Alex was so close, Alex had arms wrapped around him, Alex was hugging him. He smelled nice, like ink and parchment. Much better than the other sweaty soldiers. And he was warm, solid, fitting against him like a puzzle piece. With Alex pressed against him, it felt like there was no war, no Eliza, no obstacle between them. He could live in this moment forever and ever. His heart soared, he reached up to hug him back—

And it was over too soon. Alex pulled away as if he hadn’t just rocked John’s world with a hug. “You better stay alive, Laurens, or I’ll kill you myself.”

John stared at the way his lips curved into a smile, the sparkle in those eyes, and decided that that was a visage he had to live to see again. He put a hand on Alex’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. “Of course I will.”

He’d been riding for an hour when he finally came across the first soldier. Dishevelled and horseless, the man scrambled forward. “You’re one of General Washington’s aides, right? Is General Washington on his way?”

“Yes, he is.” John scanned the area, noticing the lack of other troops. “What’s your name? Where are the others?” 

“I’m Corporal Barnes of the Infantry Division, sir, under Brigadier General Scott. I’m not alone, the other troops are across the Spotswood Middle Brook. They sent me to find out what’s going on.”

John had been to the Spotswood Middle Brook on a previous reconnaissance mission — it was one of three ravines near the Monmouth Court House road, bordered by marshy wetlands that were difficult for him to navigate through alone, let alone a whole vanguard of men. “I might ask you the same question. Aren’t the British supposed to be at the courthouse?”

“Yes, sir, their rearguard was there, and we did advance, but…” Corporal Barnes hesitated. “We lost General Lee.”

“You lost him? What does that mean?”

“Our troops were on General Lee’s left flank, but he pushed all the way to the right with the Marquis de Lafayette and didn’t tell us what we were supposed to do. Then we saw the British forces arriving on our side, so General Scott withdrew us to the brook. We haven’t heard anything from General Lee since.”

The momentary relief that he had felt hearing that Lafayette was fine had completely faded by the time the other soldier said his last sentence. “You haven’t heard anything from him? So you don’t know his location or status.”

Corporal Barnes looked down in guilt. “No, sir.”

This cannot be real. “I understand. Go tell Scott that General Washington will be here by midday. Send someone to report back to the General too, if you’re able.”

“Yes, sir!” The soldier saluted and hurried off towards the brook. John gritted his teeth, mentally spearing Charles Lee with a javelin and roasting him above a flame. This whole situation was beyond unbelievable, but — he shook his head — he had much bigger fish to fry. Lee was either still fighting or retreated to somewhere other than the brook. If he checked the courthouse, he’d run the risk of getting spotted by any British troops who might still be there. Recalling the area he’d scouted previously, the next safest place to retreat would be Ker’s House, a mile west of the courthouse. He would have to gamble on his instincts that they were really there. Please let that incompetent asshole do this one thing right. 

John arrived at the house to see groups of soldiers clustered outside. He breathed a sigh of relief — at least there were troops here. Now to figure out whose they were. He dismounted his horse, heading straight to the centre of the sea of men. There stood Charles Lee, the incompetent general himself. Beads of sweat fell down the general’s cheeks, his face red as he shouted orders over a cacophony of noise. John had to suppress the sour distaste swelling in him at the sight. Coolly, he walked up to him. “General Lee, sir, I am Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens, one of General Washington’s aides. Could I ask what is going on?” 

Lee swivelled around, eyes widening. “Laurens? Is Washington on his way?”

John’s lips pressed together upon hearing Lee drop the general’s title. “He is. But before that, please explain exactly what happened. We weren’t informed of any retreat in your reports.”

The general paled. “Uh… I caught up to Lafayette without a problem, then we decided to attack the British at the Monmouth Court House. I brought my troops with Lafayette’s detachment to secure our right flank, and I was going to send orders to Scott, but then my messengers told me he’d disappeared. Lafayette’s troops were retreating as well, and the British forces outnumbered us, so I had no choice but to prioritise the safety of my men and come here.”

He stared at Lee, unimpressed. “So what you’re saying is, you didn’t communicate with your subordinates, didn’t give them instructions, and didn’t command a proper retreat. Do you even know where Scott’s troops are right now?”

Lee gulped. ”Uh… no.”

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was of a lower rank and therefore could not beat up the man in front of him. “Right. They’re by the Spotswood Middle Brook, I ran into them on the way. What should I report back to General Washington?” 

“I… I really don’t know what to say,” Lee finally responded after a long pause. 

He really still can’t admit he fucked up. “Then I’ll be telling him exactly what happened here. In the meantime, you should join back up with Scott. Get your shit together before he gets here.” Before Lee could respond, he turned and mounted his horse, soldiers leaping aside as he galloped away. 

Thankfully, the army wasn’t far. John quickened his pace as he approached the group, searching the frontline for Washington. He was right in the middle, leading the formation with Alex beside him. “Your Excellency, sir, I found Lee. He led, or should I say didn’t lead a retreat at the courthouse. The units are scattered, and communication between them was broken down until I got here.” 

“Yes, I’d gathered the same,” Washington said grimly. “We also came across a few retreating units. No one seemed to know what’s going on. I do hope you have a better idea of what happened.”

John nodded and quickly recounted all that he’d heard. When he finished speaking, the general’s expression was much heavier. “I see. I hope we didn’t lose too many men.”

“I didn’t ask, sir, I wanted to report back as fast as possible. But I didn’t see many injured soldiers.” 

“Right. We proceed to the courthouse, then. We will position according to the original plan, where Lee’s forces were meant to be. Hopefully the British forces haven’t caught wind of our arrival. I fear this mistake may have cost us our opportunity.”

John saluted and fell into step beside Alex, who hissed, “I can’t believe that’s what went down! So the entire mess was Lee’s fault.”

“You should have seen him trying to dodge the blame when I asked him about the situation,” John said. “I had to hold myself back from socking him in the jaw.”

“You truly are a man of great self-discipline, Laurens. I would’ve just done it.”

“Like how you punched the bursar of Princeton College? I know,” John smirked. 

Alex grinned back, snapping his fingers. “Exactly.”

With Alex’s company, the ride to the courthouse felt much faster. That was until they came to the Spotswood Middle Brook. They heard him before they saw him— Lee’s shrill voice pierced the air, attempting to lead his command through the marshy ground. Washington sighed and signalled for their force to stay, bringing only a handful of men forward to approach Lee. 

“Your excellency, sir!” Lee greeted, beaming as the group rode up. “I’m glad to see that you have arrived safely.” Behind the general, John and Alex exchanged eye-rolls. 

In contrast to Lee’s cheeriness, Washington sounded thoroughly unimpressed as he said, “I’d like to know, sir, what is the reason behind this disorder and confusion?”

Lee’s smile dropped instantly. “I’m sorry, sir?”

“We met some of your units, and no one was able to give me a full recount of what happened, or your instructions for that matter. Only Laurens was able to report back. Laurens, my aide, not yours. Clearly there has been a lack of communication both with your subordinates and with me.” His tone was sharp, a far cry from the usually composed general. Lee’s eyes were wide as he glanced from side to side. Standing behind him, John could only imagine how frightening Washington must look. 

After a minute of painful silence where Lee was clearly wracking his brain for an explanation, he finally said, “I was… severely misinformed of the number of troops, for one, and I never instructed Scott to retreat; he did that without my instructions. We were outnumbered, I had no choice but to retreat-”

“All that might be true, Lee,” interrupted Washington sternly, “but you should have done it better. This is certainly not a result befitting a Major General.”

Lee’s face reddened. “Yes, sir.”

Washington pressed on, “Now, you can either remain and command the rearguard, or return to and organise the main body. Positions are the same as the original plan— I do hope you remember that much.” 

Alex caught John’s gaze, clearly trying to suppress the biggest grin as he mouthed, “Wow.” Washington’s voice was barely raised, but the tension in the air was like a brewing thunderstorm: this was the angriest John had ever seen him. He had to admit it was satisfying to see Charles Lee on the receiving end. 

“…I’ll command the rearguard, sir,” Lee said, staring at the ground. 

“Good. I’ll be returning, then.” Without another word, Washington turned his horse around, stalking out of the marsh, his group following quietly behind. 

“A Major General receiving a scolding from the most powerful man in the Continental Army, in front of the other higher-ranking soldiers? Lee’s finished,” Alex whispered gleefully once they were out of earshot. “No matter what he does for the rest of this battle, he’ll never receive another good command again.”

“That asshole deserved it. More commands for the rest of us!” John said. “Maybe I can be the next Major General. Major General Laurens got a ring to it.”

Alex smirked. “Or Major General Hamilton! I’d say generally speaking, anything’s better than General Lee.” 

John snorted. “I hope you don’t become a comedian after the war.”

“Why, was that no good? I thought I had a way with rhyming,” Alex replied jokingly. “Anyway, I have Eliza now, comedy’s not going to bring in enough money. Plus Philip Schuyler would be horrified if his favourite son-in-law had to turn to being a court jester for a living.”

“His only son-in-law,” John reminded him, ignoring the way his stomach turned at the mention of Eliza. For now. He’d sent his letter to Angelica almost a week ago at this point, but he’d been too busy to check if she’d responded. Hopefully by the time this was over, he’d have her letter back. 

“Hamilton, Laurens, chat another time,” Washington said. ”I’m deploying the main body northwest from here. If we can get a strong defensive position on the hill there, we could win by artillery from the high ground. Let’s move.” 

Despite all the drama leading up to this point, the ensuing battle wasn’t particularly exciting. Under Washington’s command, the army was assembled within half an hour. Lee, to his credit, actually managed to hold out for that period of time, his vanguard ambushing the British and leading them to where the main body was positioned. They ended up locked in an artillery duel across the brook, a two-hour stalemate under the burning midday heat. John and Alex didn’t even have much to do other than cool themselves down as much as possible and listen to the sound of cannon fire. They lost more men to heat exhaustion than enemy cannon that day. Even though the British eventually withdrew, Alex didn’t seem satisfied with their win, clearly disappointed at their lack of action. 

“It’s not a big deal,” John whispered to him on the road back to camp. “At least we got to come along. Next time we’ll get to fight.”

“Right.” Alex didn’t sound convinced. “Now we have to write the post-battle report and it is going to be the most boring document ever written. What can we even say, our cannons went off for two hours and they just withdrew? I don’t even know if we can call that a victory.”

It was hard to disagree with that, but moody Alex was the worst Alex; if John didn’t manage to cheer him up, he’d sulk around for the rest of the week, and that would be very unfun for everyone who had to interact with him. “Hey, the paperwork will be really quick. We can even get a drink this weekend for once.”

At the mention of alcohol, Alex actually grinned. “Oh, I’m down for that.” John smiled back, mostly relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with a temperamental Alex for the rest of the week. 

He was right: the paperwork did fly by. Thanks to the relative lack of casualties, there weren’t many death reports and condolence letters to be written, and the battle report didn’t take much time either (although they did take great delight and perhaps a few liberties in describing the confrontation between Washington and Charles Lee). Another thing John actually had the time to get to was Angelica’s reply. Her letter had arrived while they were away at battle, patiently awaiting him at his desk in their tent. He opened it after making sure Alex wasn’t around, hands shaking a little in anticipation. 

To Lieutenant Colonel Laurens:

Thank you for your letter. I apologise if my reaction that night made it seem that I was uninterested in your proposal; it is a fascinating offer, and I was simply shocked. At the very least, I hope my response will make up for it. 

You wrote of the pressure to marry, and though it has yet to come for me, I believe it would also be in mine and my family’s interests for me to get married soon, to someone of a strong social and financial standing. I appreciate your elaboration on your family background, which is more than satisfactory. What a coincidence that our fathers should be acquainted! That will make for swifter introductions. In other words, I will marry you — or should I say, I do? 

Of course, there are a few conditions: it has to look authentic, so we will need to court each other for a while. My sisters are already under the impression that you are interested in courting me, so it should not be difficult to convince everyone else. After that, I’m more than happy to get married, as long as you truly pursue a career in Law as you said you would. 

By the way, don’t worry about being an intellectual match: I agree we connected very well that night, and I’d rather be wed to a good friend than some unknown stranger. 

Adieu and stay safe on the battlefield. I look forward to our courtship. 

Your future wife,

Angelica Schuyler 

His smile grew as his eyes travelled down the parchment. She’d said yes! He really hadn’t expected her to actually agree to his crazy-sounding plan. Not to mention with such reasonable conditions; he was planning to do all of those anyway. He was going to write a reply when Alex barged into the tent, making him jump. “I’ve submitted the last of the reports! Let’s go to the tavern, I asked Lafayette to come along too.” Approaching John from behind, he peered over his shoulder. “Is that a letter from home or do we have more work to do?”

John rushed to fold the letter back up, blocking the writing from his view. “It’s nothing! Just a letter from home, yeah.”

Alex looked at him, brow furrowed slightly. “Right. So you can go? Nothing more important to do?”

I guess my letter back can wait. She’s already accepted anyway. “‘Course not, I’ve been looking forward to this all week too. Let’s go!”

The tavern was packed with soldiers, as expected of an evening at the end of the week. John’s eyes darted around the room, searching for an empty table, when he heard a familiar screechy voice coming from the bar in front. “Washington cannot be left alone to his devices! He humiliated me, his second-in-command, in front of all my men. How was that supposed to help me lead my command in a major battle?”

It seemed Alex had noticed the same person, as he felt a nudge in his side. John nodded back, motioning for Alex to keep still and stay quiet as the incompetent general continued his tirade. “The best thing that man can do for the revolution is turn and go back to planting tobacco in Mount Vernon!” 

John saw red. Instantly, he stormed towards the bar. “What did you just say?” 

The general turned around, his face flushed with alcohol. “Oh, Laurens. Here for a drink?”

“Fuck that, what did you just say?” he sounded out through gritted teeth. “You’re blaming General Washington for your failures? Should I tell everyone here how you lost Scott and Lafayette who was literally right next to you during your messy-ass retreat?” 

“Woah, someone’s getting aggressive!” Lee’s laugh grated on his ears. “I’m just stating my opinion. It’s not your business what I say.”

“I’m his aide, did you forget that? It’s very much my business what you say about him!” John shot back. “I ought to hold you to those words.”

Lee backed up, visibly surprised. “Are you challenging me to something?”

Just then, another familiar voice, this one infinitely more pleasant, came from behind. “What is happening here, mon ami? What is this challenge you speak of?”

Lafayette strode up to the small group that had crowded around to watch the drama. “General Lee, bonsoir. Please do not be offended by my friends. I am sure they do not wish to challenge you to anything.”

John turned. “But Laf-”

“Ah, Lafayette! Good to see you again,” Lee said, interrupting him with a smile on his face which only infuriated John more. “Your friend here is an interesting one, I think it’s better if you kept him on a tighter leash.” 

Now it was Alex’s turn to rush in. “What do you mean by that?”

Lafayette caught his arm before he could go further. “As you say, sir. We’ll be taking our leave.” When neither of them moved, he reached out and grabbed John’s arm too, lightly pulling him towards the door. “Let’s go.” 

When the three of them were outside, Alex exploded. “What was that?! He must be out of his mind spouting all that shit. And Lafayette, why did you stop Laurens? You know Lee was going too far, you should’ve just let him challenge him to a duel.”

“Yeah, we can’t just let him slander our commander like that!” John chimed in, glaring at Lafayette. “Why did you stop me?”

The Frenchman sighed. “I wasn’t there for all of it, but I am sure he said something ridiculous. But my friends, you cannot challenge him to a duel just like that. It will reflect poorly on General Washington, make it look like he cannot defend his own honour. I am sure that is not what you want.”

John deflated slightly. “You’re right. Sorry.” But the image of Lee laughing as he insulted Washington still made his fingers twitch. “We still gotta do something about Lee, though.”

“I'll report him to Washington,” Alex declared. “He'll take action, he has to. There's no way he'll let his second-in-command publicly drag his name through the mud, that'll be even worse for him.”

“Oui, that’s a good solution,” Lafayette said. “Now can we get our alcohol, please?”

All three men burst out laughing. “Of course,” said Alex with a wide grin, “we would never deny our favourite Frenchman his staple beverage! Let's just sit as far away from Lee as possible so we don’t have to hear his bullshit.” 

The next morning, John woke up with a headache throbbing against the inside of his skull. “Fuck…” he croaked, pressing a hand to his forehead. This is what I get for a night of hearty drinking. Looking around for a glass of water, he realised Alex was gone. He'd always been an early riser, with or without a hangover. More concerningly, there was no water to be seen. With a groan, John staggered to his feet and headed out of the tent.

A few cups of water later, John had returned to being a functional human being. He sat at the communal eating area, sipping water and feeling his headache recede when out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Alex emerging from Washington’s tent. “Alex!” he shouted, waving. As he approached, John noticed the tension in his jaw. 

“Did something happen?” he asked as Alex sat down. 

Alex sighed, glancing around furtively before leaning in to mutter, “Washington doesn't want us to do anything about Charles Lee.” 

John choked on his water. “What?!”

“Yeah, he told me history will prove him wrong or something,” Alex said, crossing his arms. “I told Lee was undermining his authority, but he didn't listen.”

“Are you serious? He doesn't get to spout all that shit and suffer no consequences. Someone ought to hold him to it!”

Alex looked regretful. “I can't disobey direct orders.”

“Then I'll do it.” Maybe it was the remnants of the alcohol talking, but John didn't care. “I'll duel him.” 

Alex’s eyes widened, his lips slightly parting. John's gaze softened as he looked at him. Despite them mostly being a show of honor, duels were still dangerous – both of them were highly aware of that. No one would agree to one so easily. But for Alex, for the general, for honor, John would do anything. He reached over the table, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. “Alexander, you're the closest friend I've got.”

“Laurens…” For a second, Alex looked like he wanted to object, then his hand found John's other hand on the table, squeezing it. John looked down, surprised by the sudden gesture. When he glanced back up, Alex was staring right into his eyes, that beautiful, piercing gaze making his heart pound. “Do not throw away your shot.”

Chapter Text

John sat at his desk, candlelight flickering across the empty parchment before him. He would be duelling Charles Lee tomorrow morning, at the edge of the woods not too far from camp. It had been two weeks since their encounter with him at the tavern, which was roughly how long it took for Alex to arrange the duel. He'd chosen Alex as his second, obviously – there was no one he trusted more, and no one else who could know about the duel, given that they were doing it without the general’s approval. Apparently Lee’s second was Aaron Burr, which was a bit surprising considering the man rarely took sides. 

Anyhow, none of that mattered right now. John stretched, eyeing the parchment. With a yawn, he leaned forward, lifting his quill from its inkpot and scrawling a short message to his father, roughly detailing the reason for the duel and apologising for any upset caused by his death. In truth he was fairly certain this letter would never get delivered: there was no way in hell he would let himself get shot dead by Charles Lee. This was just in case something untoward happened to him tomorrow. 

John set the letter aside, gently blowing on the ink so it would dry. Below the piece he had just used was another sheet of blank parchment, which gave him pause. 

Angelica. Should I write to her? John bit his lip, thinking. She’d agreed to marry him – did that make her his fiancée? The prospect of having a fiancée made him chuckle a little. The John from just a month ago couldn't possibly have imagined this. 

Snapping his attention back to his present situation, John dipped his quill back in the ink. She deserved closure, especially since she had so graciously accepted his proposal. He began to write. 

To Miss Angelica Schuyler, 

If you are reading this letter, it means I have unfortunately left this mortal coil. The reason for this is a long story culminating in a duel with General Charles Lee: if you really want to know more, you can ask Alex. We usually write to our next of kin before duels, but since you kindly agreed to marry me, I think I owe you a letter as well. 

I am sorry I will not be able to marry you. It is really rather rude of me to propose to a lady and then die before we can be wed, but I am sure you will find a better man in no time. Though we haven't known each other for long, you are one of the finest women I have ever met, in both intelligence and beauty. You certainly deserve someone better than both Alex and me, and I truly hope you find that person someday. 

Until then, though, I hope you can take care of Alex. I do not know how he will react to my passing, but please make sure he is okay and does not bury his feelings in work. With you, Eliza and our friends by his side, I am sure he will be fine. 

Adieu, dear friend. Take care of yourself. 

Yours,

John Laurens 

John set down his quill, appraising the letter. It wasn't long, but then again he had no intention for it to ever be delivered. He placed both letters into envelopes, gingerly writing Henry Laurens and Angelica Schuyler on the front. Slipping the envelopes into his coat, he blew out the candles and stood to exit the tent. Big day tomorrow. Time to get some sleep. 

The next morning, he and Alex awoke at dawn, slipping out of their tent to head to the duelling ground. The walk was uncharacteristically silent, his usually talkative friend staring down at the ground as they trekked along the edge of the woods. It was always so obvious when Alex was worried. 

“Don’t stress, I’ll be back before the coffee gets cold,” John joked, trying to ease the tension. “Y’know I’m not gonna lose to Charles Lee, right?”

“…what? Oh,” Alex said, finally looking up. “Yeah, of course not.”

Seeing that his friend still wasn’t smiling, John gave him a teasing nudge. “Then have some faith in me! Or are you worried about me? That you’ll lose me? That’s so cute.”

”Wh- what?! That I’ll- no, of course not!” sputtered Alex, face flushing. “What are you trying to imply? You’re too full of yourself, Laurens.”

Ah, a flustered Alex is the best Alex. “I’m not implying anything. Who’s the one who told me that he didn’t want to lose me before I went off for reconnaissance, not even a battle?” The memory made John’s face warm a little, but he hid it behind a mischievous grin. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

Alex turned away, but John could imagine his face: cheeks pink, pouting. “Shut up. I’m never saying such things to you again.”

“Hey, don’t be like that! I really treasured that moment, y’know,” he quickly replied, hoping he didn’t sound too genuine. 

Alex finally looked back, a smirk dancing on his face that made John’s heart race. “Well if you liked it that much…” 

Now it was John’s turn to blush. Shit, did I actually sound that desperate? “Uh, no, what are you talking about?”

“Be careful, John, I don’t want to lose you.” The last part was said as Alex leaned in, whispering directly into his ear. “You know how much of my affections lie with you.”

John pulled back instantly, head spinning. “Okay, you didn’t have to say all that-”

“Oh, but I wanted to.” Alex’s eyes were twinkling, but he looked perfectly composed, a stark contrast to just a minute earlier. Damn it, he recovered too fast! And how could he look so calm when saying those things? This was just like his letters all over again: so romantic, and yet… John swallowed the sudden stab of hurt. How could he be married and say these things to me?

He tore his eyes away from Alex’s face, and Alex frowned. “Laurens, I-”

Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by a voice from ahead. “Hamilton, Laurens, you’re here.” Aaron Burr was striding towards the two of them, a solemn expression on his face. “Did you bring the guns?”

“Yeah, here.” John pulled his pistols out of their holster in his belt. Burr took them, holding them up to inspect them. Standard duel procedure: he was making sure there was nothing wrong with either gun, that John’s side hadn’t sabotaged them to ensure a win. Not that he would ever dream of doing that. 

After the inspection, Burr nodded as he handed one gun back. “Good. Do you have any final preparations to make?”

John blinked, remembering the letters. “Oh, yes. I have some things to pass to Alex.”

Burr dipped his head. “I’ll be over there when you’re ready to start the final negotiations, Alexander.” With that, he turned and left, giving the pair some privacy for their last exchange. 

Alex watched expectantly as John took out the two letters from inside his coat. “For your family, I presume?” As he received the letters, his brows furrowed. “To Angelica Schuyler?”

Oh shit. With all the stress from the duel, he’d forgotten that Alex would be the one holding onto the letters. No, he hadn’t forgotten, he knew that Alex was his second, but he hadn’t thought of the implications of him writing a final letter to Angelica, of Alex seeing it… John mentally slapped himself. How did I just completely overlook that? 

“I didn’t know you were friends,” Alex said slowly. His tone was careful, controlled, just barely probing. Not at all like the usually expressive Alex who would never hesitate to rip into something he was curious about. John hated it. There was an odd look in his eyes as he stared down at Angelica’s name on the front of the envelope. Suspicion, and another emotion John couldn’t place. 

“Yeah, we, uh, met at your wedding, actually,” he replied, trying to gauge Alex’s reaction. His friend said nothing, still staring at the letter. Shit, he definitely wants an explanation. I think I have to just say it. “I wrote to her two weeks ago expressing my interest.” He hesitated. “To court her.”

At that, his head snapped up. “You’re courting Angelica?”

Well, he had to go all-in on this now. “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“Oh.” Alex’s eyes met his, and for just a second John could swear there was disappointment swirling in his gaze. But in an instant, it cleared away, replaced by a perfectly neutral expression. Then he smiled, though his eyes didn’t crinkle like how they normally would. “Congratulations! I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, so if I die, I owe her an explanation, right?” John laughed a bit, choosing to play along with this strange reaction. 

“You’re not gonna die, what are you saying? You won't lose.” Alex punched him lightly in the arm, his smile a tad too bright. “If that's all, I'll go talk to Burr now. You don't want to call this duel off, right?”

“Hell nah, we're doing this,” John affirmed, thumping Alex’s shoulder. “I’m not throwing away my shot!” This drew what sounded like a genuine laugh as Alex walked off to speak to Burr, leaving John alone. 

Oh my god, I can't believe that just happened. Now he was on his own, John could finally process the conversation he'd just had. I didn't want him to find out so soon. And not like that. Ideally, he and Angelica would've broken the news to everyone together at some gathering, where everyone would be happy and he wouldn't have to face Alex head-on. Those dreams were shattered now. Thinking about the troubled look on Alex’s face, his clouded eyes, John bit his lip. He had never explicitly told Alex that he wasn't interested in women, so there was no reason for him to doubt the courtship. Then why had he looked so… conflicted? Because he was courting someone? Or was it because Angelica was the one being courted? 

Nah, no way. He's married to her sister. I must've read his expression wrong. John shook his head, dismissing the notion. Taking a deep breath, he swivelled around to see Alex approaching. It doesn't matter. I just have to focus on winning this. 

“Negotiations are over, the duel’s still on. You’ll each take ten paces from each other and fire,” Alex reported. “Are you ready?”

“‘Course I am. Let's go.”

Lee was already waiting for them on the other side of the clearing. He looked relatively calm, tapping his foot on the ground while waiting, but John noticed the way his gaze flitted about the trees, the barest tremble in his fingers curled around the trigger. He’s nervous. This shouldn’t be hard. 

Both men walked to the centre of the clearing, facing away from each other as they stood back to back. “The duel will commence after we count to ten,” Burr announced from somewhere off to the side. 

Look him in the eye, aim no higher, summon all the courage you require… Running through the protocol in his head, John kept his gaze level, gun arm relaxed, refusing to let his nerves mount. He would win this. The counting began, and he began to take steps forward. All he could hear was the thump of his heart, the surrounding sounds drowned out by the roaring of his blood in his ears and his own mental countdown. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine-

“Number ten paces, fire!” 

He whipped around, his finger moving instinctively to push down on the trigger. There was the click of a gunshot, then another. Then Charles Lee cried out, staggering back as he clutched his abdomen. There was something shiny on the ground some distance away: Lee’s bullet, he’d clearly missed. John glanced down at his own body, confirming he was fine. In an instant, Alex rushed to his side, shouting across the clearing, “Lee, do you yield?”

“You shot him in the side, yes he yields!” Burr yelled back, already supporting Lee. 

He yields? I won! A broad grin spread across John’s face, his heart pounding from the thrill of surviving. This was what duels were all about: a dangerous, thrilling show of honour. And he was the victor. “I’m satisfied!” he called. 

Burr said something, but John didn’t catch it, instead focusing on Alex in front of him. Alex, who had pride shining in his eyes as he grabbed John’s arm and said, “Go, we won!” Alex, who was looking at him like he’d just saved the world. Fuck, why does he look so good right now? Pulse quickening more, John couldn’t help it — he pulled Alex towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend. Alex let out a little muffled “mmf!”, but sank into the hug anyway, saying, “That was a great shot, Laurens, you were amazing.” The praise was like honey, so sweet he could almost taste it on the tip of his tongue; even as Alex pulled away, John was smiling so hard it felt like his face would split in two. For a second, they were still holding each other: Alex’s hands on John’s shoulders, John’s hands on his waist. Alex’s eyes flicked from his waist to John’s face before he quickly let go, face flushing. “John, I-”

Their moment was interrupted by a very familiar figure rushing into the scene. Alex turned around as General Washington ran towards Burr and Lee on the other side of the clearing. “What is the meaning of this?” he demanded. Oh shit, he found out. “Mr Burr, get a medic for the general.”

“Yes, sir!” Burr saluted, then ran off.

“Lee, you will never agree with me, but believe me, these young men don’t speak for me!” Not even sparing a glance towards his aides, Washington took his hat off, sweeping a bow to the general. Apologising on their behalf. “Thank you for your service.” 

Burr came towards them, the doctor in tow. “Let’s ride.” Washington waved them off as they left the duelling grounds, then finally turned towards John and Alex. His eyes swept across both of them, the cold fury they held making even the usually fearless Alex shrink back. Finally, his gaze settled on Alex. “Hamilton,” he said, and John could hear the suppressed rage in his voice. “Meet me inside.”

John paced back and forth outside Washington’s tent, straining his ears to make out what Alex and the general were saying. Their voices were muffled, but he could hear them getting louder, no doubt in an argument. Shit, this is my fault. I shouldn’t have asked him to be my second when Washington already said not to do anything. Lost in his own anxiousness, he barely noticed when Lafayette approached. 

“Laurens, my friend, where were you this morning? Why are you walking up and down like that?” Lafayette asked with a casual smile, which immediately faded when he saw the look on John’s face. “Did something happen, mon ami?” 

“I had a duel with Charles Lee this morning. Alex was my second. Washington found out, and now he’s arguing with Alex ‘cause he told him not to do anything about Lee.”

“General Lee? Did I not stop you from challenging him to a duel the other time?” Lafayette frowned. “Alexander said he would speak to… ah.”

“Yeah,” grimaced John, “talking to General Washington didn’t really work out. So I might have challenged Lee to a duel anyway.”

His friend cocked an eyebrow. “Against orders?”

“Okay, technically I wasn’t the one who was ordered not to do anything. It was Alex. That’s why he’s in there now.”

“I understand,” Lafayette said, glancing at the tent. “Did you win?”

“Huh?” John was surprised for a moment, then he grinned. Of course everyone’s favourite fighting Frenchman only cared about the outcome. “‘Course I did! Who do you take me for?”

“Ahaha, c’est excellent! Good job, Laurens,” Lafayette crowed. Then his expression darkened. “I hope Alexander does not get into much trouble, though. I do not know how General Washington will react to this.”

“He was… pretty furious,” John sighed. “I hope it’ll be okay. I’m the one who challenged him, so I deserve the punishment more anyway.”

Lafayette hummed softly, joining John as they waited for Alex to come out. After an excruciatingly long wait, their friend emerged, staring at the ground. 

“Alex, what happened? What did he say?” John rushed towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Alex shrugged off the hand without looking up. “He sent me home.”

“What?!” both men exclaimed in unison. “For only the duel? But you are his valued aide!” Lafayette said, eyebrows knitting together. 

“Well, you probably heard us arguing. I guess I got too angry,” said Alex monotonously. “So he told me to go home.” Still not looking at them, he started walking towards their tent. 

Lafayette and John exchanged concerned glances, then chased after him. “Hey, we’ll try to convince him to let you stay,” John said desperately. “It’s my fault, I duelled him.”

”You can try. I doubt it’ll work. He didn’t even want to hear me out.” Alex’s voice was flat, toneless. John had never heard him sound so… defeated. “I’m going to pack.”

“I’m sorry, Alex, I didn’t think-”

“It’s fine, John, it’s not your fault.” Alex finally looked up at him, a weary smile on his face. There was a sheen to his eyes that made John’s heart ache. “I’m glad I got to be your second. You really were amazing out there.” He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. “It’s up to both of you to keep fighting now. I’ll say hi to Mulligan for you when I’m back in New York.”

“Of course we will, mon ami,” Lafayette said, striding forward to pat Alex on the back. “We will also fight our hardest to get you back. General Washington knows he will need you to win the war. It is only a matter of time before he orders your return.”

Alex chuckled. “Thanks, Lafayette. I appreciate it.” 

“Not at all, my friend, not at all. We will miss you very much,” said Lafayette, extending his arms towards him. Alex smiled before going in for a hug. Lafayette smiled, rubbing Alex’s back, then looked over at John. “Laurens, you are not joining?”

“Huh? You want me to-”

“Aw, just come here.” Alex reached out a hand to pull him into the embrace. It was warm, comforting, like being wrapped with a blanket on a rainy day. They stood there for a while, soaking up each other’s warmth, then Lafayette gently let them go. “Come, people are staring.” To Alex, he asked, “Would you like us to help you pack?”

“It’s okay, this was a good enough farewell. Any more time together and I might have to beg the general on my knees to let me stay,” Alex laughed, swiping a hand across his eyes. “Thank you. I’ll miss you two. Don’t die before we meet again, or else.”

“You know we won’t,” John declared, squeezing Alex’s shoulder. “We’ll see you soon, promise.”

“Yeah, I know. Oh, and you should have these back,” Alex said, pulling out two envelopes from his coat. “Since you didn’t die.” He hesitated. “If there’s anything you want me to pass to Angelica…”

Shit, I forgot about that! “Uh, nope! Thanks,” John swiftly pocketed the letters.

Lafayette peered at him curiously. “Angelica… Schuyler?”

“Nah, forget that. Let’s focus on Alex leaving, okay?” He ignored Lafayette's prodding gaze, turning back to Alex. “Stay safe on the way back.”

“I will,” said Alex as he turned around to go back to their tent, lifting a hand in a backwards wave. The two of them waved back, John’s eyes following him all the way back to the tent before he finally disappeared inside. 

It would be a long time before he saw Alex again.